The Inner Matriarch And Wounded Feminine Legacy

by Kalayna Colibri

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Messages of being a warrior, how to stand up to men… conditioning around fighting, especially for our equality, in a world that seems to want anything but. Over-expressing our sexuality in an unemotional or emotionally immature way, or choosing to deny its presence altogether… there is so much templating going on, so many living examples of how to become a matriarch – strong, unsentimental, yet very often unfeeling too. All of this is an expression of the pain and wounds inflicted by a patriarchal culture, yes, and it is all a reflection of how a part of each of us has chosen to be and act in reaction to it. As a collective, modern womanhood has successfully buried what it means to be soft and still, especially as the Inner Matriarch, who is often also the Inner Mother, typically has never been offered a sense of what healthy womanhood is or could be, and thus wants to believe that softness is weakness, the mind and body are ultimately what matter over the heart, and that femininity means building a self-image of femininity that is often depicted in ways that at the core, are actually another expression of the wounded masculine, but with a feminine face.

The Inner Matriarch forms inside of you, following your nearest feminine conditioning while growing up, passed down by your mother or another female caregiver. Even if the influence seems subtle, it is likely working inside of you in many ways, including how you express or choose not to express your sexuality, how you feel about your gender, how you feel about and relate to men and other women as well, and how you navigate many other aspects of your life too. The Inner Matriarch, in this way, is also the Inner Mother – a significant part of any woman, that carries within her the legacy of the matriarchal lineage in her birth family, often to a large degree.

It can be challenging when living out this conditioning, to even realize this is what’s happening. So many patterns are being relived by you that your mother and likely her mother before her also lived out… or, this part of you could be trying to deliberately choose to do the opposite, yet somehow, there is something still playing out that runs parallel to the matrilineal conditioning and grooming. It’s nearly impossible to feel what this legacy really has held for this part of you until you have taken the space necessary from your own birth mother in order to truly feel it. The Inner Matriarch that could be leading much of your decision-making and relating to self and others in your life as you have known it so far, will blend into the tapestry woven by the other women in influence in your birth family and sometimes also in your group of friends. This is why the advocacy for space and going inward is so invaluable.

The Inner Matriarch is often a way in which the pervasive patriarchal culture gets to live on… she has had to become the way she is in order to stand up to and survive in this environment, or so she has been so deeply conditioned to believe. It takes more than the  ‘inner strength’ of any female warrior archetype… it takes the strength of vulnerably feeling where the damage and hurt have been inflicted, bringing it back inward into your heart, and letting feeling waves in. It takes the courage to take the next step to even acknowledge this part of you, to feel and own the conditioning she has had and needed for so long, and to let in that something new could arise. The true feminine arising is a mystery wrapped in an enigma at times, with a soft touch that can also challenge and set boundaries as needed, without nastiness, pettiness or cruelty and without an all-out suppression of inner truth on the flipside of that.

There is a balance that can be lived into, where the rose of feminity can wrap around a healthy, vulnerable spine made of self-love and worth, coupled with a healing and humbled heart that now gets to lead the way… and this is what is offered as the Inner Mother and Matriarch gets felt and begins to heal from the long, long road she has been walking for so long, softening into the frequencies of a Sacred Queen. This is also what opens out the possibility of a nourishing Sacred Union romance with frequencies of heart, body and soul resonance that are nearly impossible to feel with the intensity of a wounded Inner Matriarch expressing predominantly in your life. There is much to go into and feel with her, yet it is all worth it as you begin to realize what your own version of the authentic and ever-arising feminine self is and could become as you move into more and more healing on all levels of your being. ❤

 


 

For more information about going into your own SoulFullHeart process and having space held for this part and other parts of you, please visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess. We would love to serve love with you on your own journey into your deepest healing possibilities and timelines…. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Letting Love Flood Within You

by Kalayna Colibri

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Sometimes it feels like the heart opens, only to close again…

The waters of love can come in like a WOOOOSH that plunges through the already opening heart door, flooding the inside of your being on many levels… soul, heart, body, astral body… it’s a feeling as if the sky above you and the ground below you is opening up and all limits parts of you have held for yourself and your life are moving, floating away… out of reach.

Then, as parts of you begin to breathe into this new reality, the oil of past pain and trauma comes up as well. Sometimes it sits in your heart-bed, feeling unwell, feeling unfit to really claim and hold and have all of this goodness. It wants to shut it down somehow, or try to. And sadly, without consciousness around parts of you and how to be with them, it can feel nearly impossible to feel as if this desire to push away is really ‘you’ or not… and so, the goodness sometimes gets shut down, and life goes back to ‘business as usual’… or tries to!

Love wants to fill your being. It wants to flood you with its waters that are meant to bring up the oil of pain that still needs to be felt and healed. It wants to bring you to new places of Divine connection and experience. It wants to experience itself through the sacred human expression of YOU that inhabits its dualism and feels its oneness in incredible opening moments too. It doesn’t care or mind if you have parts that are afraid of its power, it wants to find its way to you anyways. And so, life circumstances continue to press you, inviting you back into you, to find the parts and seek your answers deep within, to find and feel why and how love has been kept out.

What is love inviting you to feel today? How is it pressing on the sacred door of your innermost and most vigilantly protected BEing? The INvitation to feel all of this more and more, is a constant and ever-moving one… and something that can feel like it has no final ‘goal’ or ‘end’. The truth is… it doesn’t, really. The potential for healing is endless, as you are endless, and the love that flows can only ever be endless too… ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Journey To New Pastures Of Growth And Love

by Kalayna Colibri

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There is a new ground wanting to ripen for you now. It’s calling your roots out of hiding, inviting you to plant them firmly in new soil. ‘New’ only in the sense of not having been lived in by you before… yet not ‘new’ at all, for there are others who have tilled it for themselves too for so long.

Out beyond everything parts of you have expected of themselves, well passed the flat expanses of ‘normal life’ that have held you in stasis, is a reality you’ve only begun to imagine for yourself… a reality where love flows and flourishes freely, pausing only to flood you and help you feel more of where it can’t quite get in. There are stuck places inside you of immaturity, of push-away towards goodness, of disbelief that love actually IS different than what parts of you have been taught it is directly and indirectly. In a pasture that you haven’t yet known, are your deepest, farthest-reaching places of healing and growth. It’s not a mental concept or construct, it can only be felt and experienced and lovingly challenged into being.

Those souls and hearts who have been in this soil before you, want to empower you beyond what parts of you have ever felt possible so far in your life. They want to empower without enabling, without caretaking what needs to be looked at, felt, deconstructed, loved UP… your soul somehow kNOWs the way, understands that it needs to lead and feels how much it wants to. It’s up to your parts, your personas, your willing heart, to feel what needs and wants to shift, what areas of life you especially need help with and illumination for, where love doesn’t seem to be flowing abundance and why love doesn’t seem to feel very nourishing, based on what you’ve lived of it so far.

It takes a lot… it takes a big soul, like yours, to say ‘yes’ to the desire deep within, that wants something different, wants transformation, wants fulfilment in the sweetest way. It takes a capacity to be with what isn’t desired, to find it within your heart to love it for what it was and what parts of you needed it for, and to move on to what awaits you next in the greener pastures of soul family, ever-expanding heart wisdom, and exponential service of love. ❤


Join SoulFullHeart’s Raphael Awen and Gabriel Heartman this Sunday at 11:11am CST for a Facebook and Youtube LIVE stream: https://www.facebook.com/events/1529926353733589

Feel into the process that I am offering to you in this writing and explore the possibility of having a free 30min intro session by visiting this page: www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

We Want To Belong Without Feeling Trapped

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By Raphael Awen

‘But, I don’t want to sign up for your deal!’

While it’s true that by nature, we don’t want to be trapped, it’s also true that we want to belong.

We want to belong without feeling trapped. This however means different things for different parts of us. If you are at a phase in life where your Inner child is showing up in our emotional body, then there’s likely going to be a deep desire rumbling through you to find and maintain a sense of home socially, a family in which to belong. If however, a Protector Part of us is running the show, as they often are, there can be a sizable protest around belonging to anything. The internal civil war we are left with really explains the shut down so many people live in.

I found myself usually wanting to go deeper into the family at hand I found myself in, and then deeply wanted to change it, until that felt controlling or too pushy and then I was left with leaving, without anywhere else to go. Eventually, however, my soul has always brought me to a new place of home and family, even if that meant creating one from scratch.

What I’ve learned for myself is that none of us really get to not be a part of something. Even the choice to be alone and live like a hermit, is a choice to tune into an archetypal frequency, a belonging of sorts to a community of non-belongers who share commonalities.

I like to say that none of us in this way is exempt from belonging to cults and cultures, we only are able to take responsibility for the cults we choose to be a part of. You get to pick your cult(s), you just don’t get to pick whether you will participate in cults or not! ‘Cult’ is the perfect charged word to describe this too, because it gets us to see how deeply the subconscious ways of life we all participate in shape and dictate our lives.

Coming back to the bigger mysterious picture of who and what we are, It’s like we are individual and that individuality also both dissolves and is manifest in every moment through oneness. We are paradoxically one while we are individual. Talk about being roped into something! Belonging! We are all doing something very similar at a deep core level. Hence our needs for often vain attempts at differentiation through labels and brands. It’s only when our higher self shows up more and more that a consciousness awakening to this ‘what is’ can occur, and we can then take responsibility for our innate needs around belonging. If I can’t actually ‘not-belong’, then I can consciously choose and feel all the what’s, why’s and how’s of my belonging.

This is also true on the personal level of our emotional body, as an individual. What we think of as simply us, and feel to be us is actually just the active part of us in any moment thinking and emoting through us, in the absence of any higher us; a healthy parent kind of us to offer real relationship. What we are left with can be likened to a band of teenagers running the household in the absence of any loving and heart open true parental presence. Even these parts of us form a working club or family of belonging, a hierarchy of roles and means to survive complete with valiant attempts at getting needs met. Even the most obviously dysfunctional among us are really amazing multi-dimensional beings who find a way to function where there simply was no way.

‘We’ are also ‘the one’ who is comprised of ‘the many’, who awaits a higher consciousness to arise that can hold an ambassadorship to the outermost regions of our being.

This is our true belonging, where any deal we sign up for, even if it ends painfully, cannot take away from us, but only add to us, as we now live from an emerging true sovereignty of being. Our vulnerability is now returned to us as our greatest gift.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

To Truly Love When We Love Each Other

by Kalayna Colibri

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If we loved each other more… we would let go without fear or tugging.

If we loved each other more… we would empower instead of enable.

If we loved each other more… our words to one another would never be empty.

If we loved each other more… the eyes of love would forever be the ones we wear and we would see each other for who we are.

If we loved each other more… we would recognize the difference between caretaking and caregiving.

If we loved OURSELVES more… we would, ad infinitum, love each other more…

… and in this love, we would find
even more of ourselves
than we ever thought we would ever see,
feel, and heal
before we realized
that loving more
means
we will never know love in the less.

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

How Ready Are You For What You Want?

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By Raphael Awen

You can have what you want. That’s not actually the question.

The bigger question is about being ready to have what you want.

A part of you may readily say ‘oh, believe me, I’m ready! I’m so ready, I’m getting both depressed and impatient waiting to have what I really want.’

But this is only taking into consideration one part of you. Other parts of you can be just off your radar and actively resisting you (or what we call ‘you’) as they are not interested at all in these big changes ‘you’ feel you are so ready for. This resistive part of you is not something you can control, but it is something that you are responsible for, and something that you need to become responsive to.

Then, there is also another aspect of you, that is probably also just off your radar and that is your higher self. Your higher self may have chosen a preferred path of difficulty and going without something that another part of you deeply desires in order to learn and grow through a difficulty. It wouldn’t actually be a growth crucible without this tension between what ‘you’ want and don’t want. Your higher self is also something you cannot control, but it is something you are responsible for and that you also need to become more responsive to.

You are not a victim. Your life as you know it now is shaped by you, and the life you will come to know in the future is also shaped by you.

Your life as it is right now, warts and all, is perfect in the midst of imperfection. You are perfect while growing and learning. All the angst, pain and confusion is sacred. You had so much heaven that you needed to dial up hell in order to grow. Your soul loved the heaven it knew, but it also wanted more, and it knew the path to more was though the tension of less.

Consciously letting go of reaching for peak experiences and instead welcoming your awaiting valley experiences is what your soul may be asking of you. You may have very much needed your awakening experiences that happened through the peak experiences to let you know what is possible and what awaits you. But now, your soul wants you to let go of what a part of you may be be in danger of becoming quite addicted to, in order now to more consciously connect to what you actually came here for.

Whether conscious or not, you can’t escape growth. Growth is built into the DNA of the universe that you are a part of. While you can’t escape growth, you can accept your awakening to what is, and even the need to mourn the loss of your deep night’s rest in the 3D fusion of unconsciousness.

Now, as you are awakening, you are offered a conscious choice that your path up, is a path down. The downward path is a matter of feeling all there is to feel that you were not able to feel while asleep in 3D consciousness.

This will involve feeling crappy on a regular basis for a good amount of time. If this isn’t an option for ‘you’, then you are not yet ready for this deeper more conscious path of healing, but you can be assured, all of us will be invited and re-invited to return here just as soon and we are ready to. It is what we came here for. We came here to ascend with all of us, without any ‘lesser’ parts of us left behind being punished for any insubordination, or for just not getting the program.

Time now to look at what we’ve called ‘spiritual practices’ to feel where they are actually about transcending in the name of ascending, where they are about not feeling, rather than true healing.

We all come eventually to having what we most deeply want, with the fullest and deepest bliss that we can’t quite imagine. We are living our way to being able to imagine it as we feel and heal the parts of us still in deep pain that were covered over with our positive spirituality agendas.

Time now for a negative spirituality agenda that sees it all as sacred.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter: The Sacred Ground Of Being Popped Into And Out Of 5D

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This week’s museletter features Gabriel Heartman’s digestion of calls for help in regards to the pain felt after being popped in and out of 5D frequencies.  It is a set of circumstances that we have heard of before and it felt important to feel it through the SoulFullHeart lens and give it a larger context as well as a compassionate look at why souls may have chosen to go through such an intense experience.

“Now, how it got to be this way can be easily, and understandably, taken as it being done to you by someone else. You could ‘blame’ a negative entity or a teacher/healer’s etheric malpractice happening to you.  Once you have submitted to the status of victim, you have lost your power.  So, first thing, you must take power back.  Realize that this is all being conducted by the Higher Self, not as a punishment, for love doesn’t punish, but as an opportunity to reclaim the buried and lost parts of yourself before taking off into deeper conscious territories of experience.  This is a big one to let in and be with for it grants the courage and conditions to make the next steps.”

We continue our journey into developing a clearer path for the SoulFullHeart process and our writings are beginning to wrap around these clarities.  The importance of the healing of the 3D Self and Emotional Body has felt paramount to the continued maturation of our hearts and souls into higher consciousness.  Included is the very first SoulFullHeart Experience live stream recording that will continue every other Sunday, the next being today at 11:11am CST via Facebook and YouTube. In the recording Raphael and Jelelle Awen talk about the foundations of SoulFullHeart and the parts work process as it pertains to emotional healing.

More teachings, reflections, and digestions from the hearts and souls of Jelelle, Raphael, Kalayna, and Gabriel are on tap for your Sunday morning pleasure. Recordings of writings, the last group call with teachings and meditation about feeling your 3D self, and information on our future live stream events are part of the menu. They are all free for the letting in from our desire to continue to shed light and healing love across the globe.  If you find our weekly compilations a value add to your spiritual and emotional health we are always honored by any donation you feel compelled to offer in exchange. You can go to the following links to make any love donation:

http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations

https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart

Thanks again for taking in our passion purpose and desire to serve love! May your Sunday be real and heart opening.

Here is the link to the museletter:

http://mailchi.mp/94a971be6d49/soulfullheart-weekly-museletter-from-heaven-to-hell-the-sacred-ground-of-being-popped-into-and-out-of-5d

 

‘Time’ Is A Co-Creation Of Love

by Kalayna Colibri

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Our relationship to ‘time’ is changing, and we’re invited to feel this more and more.

It’s not that ‘time’ is ‘evil’. Time, like money, has gotten a bad rep due to projections and the way we hold and relate to it. Aging, for example, can be a frightening concept for a few reasons… our bodies start shifting in ways we can’t control, though parts of us might work very hard to do so. Perhaps you’re one who has over-attached to this concept of aging and maybe the idea of someday ‘running out of time’ has been scary too. It feels like so many of us have come into this life with a sense of soul urgency, mistaking this feeling as a warning that we need to get somewhere (though we may not know where exactly) and fast. Of course we do only have a limited ‘time’ on this planet, yet in another way, perhaps these urgent feelings have been more about an ‘urge’ itself. A drive to keep going, to keep feeling, to keep moving forward while moving inward. It feels like parts of us can sometimes hijack these urges and make them about something else, and of course this is the veil of illusion that we signed up for in 3D anyways and something we are meant to find our way out of. The scene from Labrynth where Sarah is stuck in an illusion and forgets about her original quest to get her baby brother back comes to mind. Though in SoulFullHeart we would hold that she chose this illusion, not that Gareth or any other entity, energy or figure did it TO her.

It’s part of our awakening to realize that time is only as real as we make it and also that it’s needed to be real here on Gaia for many reasons – many of which we have yet to uncover. Time is both a man-made and a Divinely created construction. I feel like it has been offered to us as a container to press us onward into healing. It has given us a well-laid out playground to journey through 3D and find our way through the dark tunnels of 4D. It has made us acknowledge differences in ourselves and each other, contributing, if we let it, to our sense of conscious duality.  Just like money, time is an expression of love and is a mirror too. It is often seen as ‘scarce’ and held by parts and metasoul aspects of us as a source of intense stress. What we’re invited to feel now, is that time is another aspect of abundance and that it, like love, has no inherent ‘lack’, but only more of it to let in.

This may not play out literally in our lives as we know and live them, at least not in this moment on Gaia, but we can trust the infinite nature of it, and that it too was created for and WITH us. It reminds us that we co-created the reality that we now ‘know’ and that in another way, it is as infinite as we are and wants to be a part of our manifestations in this world.

Embracing time as a gift given to us for NOW, can perhaps help us feel a different relationship to it and to so many other concepts parts of us have deemed so far to be troublesome. It’s another invitation to feel that Love has already WON and there is nothing to fight here, only to tap into as it invites us to keep tapping into ourselves and our hearts.

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Emotional Body Portal To 5D Manifestation

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By Raphael Awen

You can work hard to manifest the future you want here in 3D like most people do, OR, you can ‘let-in’ the future your 5D/higher self has for you, or you can have some degree of both.

It’s important though not to see and feel the 3D kind of manifestation as lower or lesser. We all need and needed the time we did, and do, in normal everyday kind of 3D manifestation. After all, as a soul being, that’s what we came here for. We had too much of the 5D kind of manifestation actually. So we embraced the realm of duality, resistance and push-back as a sacred training ground to learn and feel ways of being and learning that we couldn’t experience any other way than we could but here in 3D, as a launching pad into other domains and dimensions, to discover what we actually always were, but didn’t know it.

As we complete some of these lessons, we naturally gravitate back towards the home we are and the home know from our higher self’s perspective.

For instance, we can spend decades embroiled in trying to get ahead financially, or socially, or maybe just really focused trying to be a better person in some way, shape or form. We all know what that looks like. But what would a 5D way of approaching manifestation look and feel like?

The 5D self doesn’t live inside of time or space constraints like our 3D self does. The 5D self can ‘time travel’ quite effortlessly to get a ‘read’ on what our 3D self calls the ‘future’ and ingest the vibe of that vibrational reality into our emotional body. Now, in 3D, your bank balance, let’s say, is still the same, but you can feel, so you know what this 5D bank balance and associated changes to your lifestyle will look and feel like in your future. You have the higher upstream reality in your ‘field.’ As you feel this, you are dialling this reality incubation ally into your feeling and thought patterns. You are experiencing, through what we call creative visualization, the feeling tones of this new and higher timeline. You are beginning to spend less time resistively in anxiety about the future, keeping your 3D generator running full speed and are instead allowing your 5D generator to come more and more to the foreground. As we are multidimensional, we have capacity to run as hybrids (3, 4, and 5D simultaneously) and all of us are doing this to varying degrees. Our 3D reality is a projection of our higher upstream reality of 5D.

As you let in this new feeling toned reality of relating to life, you go on to feel how all this talk of past, present and future are all just concepts to help keep your 3D self from flipping out. You already have your future, and your future is manifesting in and through your present. You can visit your past in the now and feel and heal the happenings there and then feel a relieved you in the present having changed the past! Wild stuff for sure, but I feel this to be what the new frontier of our awakening consciousness is offering us.

The coolest and biggest entry point I can offer you as a portal into this brave new world is through the emotional body. All this bigness I am describing and vibing to you is resonating because it’s already in you, it is you, spring loaded, yet tethered and anchored by the emotional wounding we all carry in our emotional bodies. Emotional body healing through getting to know and feel parts of ourselves naturally releases the charges and lowers the walls that keep our higher dimensional experiences at bay in our lives. This approach to our spirituality and emotionality turns the ascetic disciplinary ‘meditate all day’ approach on its head.

You don’t need to focus on attainments and enlightenments. You get to be deeply with what is, things that actually reconcile you to you, things that let your higher self essence flow more uninhibited into the sacred present domains of your present ‘can’t get any more sacred’ life. The changes you desire are all part of the setup. So are any deep resistive patterns, addictions, and dis – ease in your body…all of it awaiting your intention, discovery and choice.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Loving The Leading And Trailing Edges Of Our Being

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By Raphael Awen

What makes for the funnest fun in life is getting to know what’s on the leading edge of your being AND what’s on the trailing edge of your being, as well as the you that tends to ride the in between middle.

We all know a whole lot more about what’s in the muted muddied middle of our being: not quite sure what we want, boredom, escape, excitement? But when we venture from this not-so-comfortable comfort zone into the unexplored regions of our being where we don’t know what’s going on, and where the radar doesn’t inform us, we enter our true capacity for aliveness.

The leading edge of our being holds our latest discoveries as a soul being, being and doing human life as us. Our trailing edge of our being holds our deepest wounds from this and other lifetimes; our wounded reactivity to life; the stuff in the shadows that parts of ourselves would naturally try to hide from even our awareness.

It’s the tension between the two that makes for the juice in all of our relationships with all aspects of life. In people relationships, it is our leading and trailing edges combinations that make for our deepest co-dependencies as well as our greatest fulfillments. In our relationship with our calling, it is the inclusion and discovery of both the leading and trailing edge where that calling comes to life. It is not the overcoming of the trailing edge, but rather the embracement of it that provides for the unfolding journey of magic.

In our attempts to overcome or transcend our trailing edge of our being, we actually suppress a very necessary energy that wants to provide the necessary movements we seek and want. Parts of us want the middle. Other parts of our being want the edges. We, as an arising healthy parent to these orphaned parts of ourselves, are being invited to show up and negotiate a path in and through.

I know for instance that I feel a great calling to be an outstanding teacher. At 56 years of age, I daydream of being in demand and well rewarded to speak to large gatherings of people, speaking with a compelling charisma that transforms people and audiences to experience something they and we never experienced together before. In my leading edge of being, I can feel this reality as if it were here now. It lives in me and always has. In my trailing edge of being however, I feel a variety of resistances and hesitations about this desired timeline. If I am unable to embrace these outer regions of my leading edge/trailing edge being, I am left with a seriously muted alchemy. If I embrace one edge at the expense of the other, I am left with a weird creation that hurtles through time and space serving at best as a poor example.

What is your biggest dream? Would it embarrass a part of you to admit it? Is it okay with you to leave it de-energized in this muddied middle of your being away from the power of your leading and trailing edges of your being? What choice point is in front of you that feels like a doorway in? (there always is a doorway in if we’re willing to see it)

You’ve got a whole lot more inside of you than parts of you have been willing to admit!

When you own the leading and trailing edges of your being, you get really interesting to the universe, and you open yourself to the highest timeline possibilities for your life.

(Audio of this blog can be found here: https://youtu.be/y7nY5twy90E)

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

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