Vulnerable Sharing From A Moment Of Deep Tears

by Kalayna Solais

Crying in the moment and I can’t 100% track it, what’s going on behind the tears… but, I thought I’d share and see what is coming through my heart in this moment. Take you along with me. 

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Sometimes there is just so much sadness that comes up in me. It’s not always linked to what I’ve gone through or am going through now. It’s not always connected to an inner process.

Sometimes it just IS. And there are so many layers to it… some of them mine, some of them not so much.

The deeper I feel it… the more I feel the sadness of a part of me coming up, but a sadness in my soul in a ‘Cries of the World’ kind of way, too.

My empath has been becoming even more sensitive than ever lately. The sense of needing the same masculinized protection inside has been healing for years. It’s time to have a more exposed, feeling, feminine heart that doesn’t need protection but needs to vulnerably share and deeply feel.

Beginning new things is always something sensitive for the younger, very feminine parts of me that care so much about being liked, being accepted, doing well… and also care SO much about others, about helping others heal, about having resonant relationships where there is genuine care, and about seeing this world we live in becoming more gentle, more open-hearted and caring, more compassionate, and ultimately much, much safer to live and breathe and emote and LOVE in.

There’s still a lingering sadness in my feminine that my last relationship is over. There’s still a way that it’s just HARD to see the growth that couldn’t happen while we were together. And there’s still so much confusion as to why this has been true. I can feel this aspect’s confusion though… her pain around relating to men in general that some of it stems from and how this relates to her relationship to my masculine inside.

When it comes to men, it’s just been SO hard to try and become what she isn’t in order to get loved, feel wanted, and belong to the man’s world. Often this has meant sacrificing something of herself for the sake of the relationship and keeping it kosher. And over the last couple of months of inner process between her and my masculine aspect(s) I’ve become more awakened to how this dynamic has lived inside of me. How he has caretaken something in her which has kept her small and how she has not been able to vulnerably invite him to actually feel her and meet her halfway in any area so that they can feel each other and really, genuinely BE together in collaboration, mutual respect for each other’s bigness, and LOVE.

So there’s that going on in this ‘now’ moment. And it doesn’t need solving or resolving… just more feeling. There’s definitely some other layer of this inner relationship coming up for me to tenderly feel with these aspects, more push-pull towards each other.

Some of the tears aren’t mine, so there’s that layer too. I don’t mind moving the ‘Cries of The World’ through my heart though. I actually feel honoured when I feel them and when I feel others and their genuine pain. This doesn’t plague me or bother me. The ‘Death Doula’ inside of me can be with the mourning and the sadness and even the frustrations. The frustrations through, because I don’t have many of my own anymore, especially in my masculine aspect, quickly move into the more vulnerable feelings of sadness that are beneath them.

Questions of “Why isn’t there more love flow in this world yet and heart warmth too?”; “Why are Disclosure people so intense still and not seeing how any focus on warfare exacerbates the problems instead of moves it all into new territory?”; “Why aren’t more souls choosing to REALLY go inward yet?”

As I feel my heart ask these questions, I know the answer already… “It’s not yet time… but it will be eventually. And the only thing YOU can do is keep going inward, keep feeling, keep sharing, and keep growing and healing, as you also respond to those who ARE ready”.

So, there it all is… different raw layers coming up on this early, EARLY Friday morning. 

I don’t often share this way because it seems to draw caretaking from others sometimes. I’m sharing this today to show how I process, the different layers I feel going on in so many moments of deep feeling, and I trust that what is meant to resonate and support your own process, will. 

Thank you so much for taking this in as you feel to for yourself. 

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Inner Feminine Guided Meditation/Intro To Women’s Group Call W/Jelelle Awen (Video)

By Jelelle Awen

This is a brief video that I recorded this morning to offer a guided meditation to connect with your inner feminine. This is a taste of what will be a deeper exploration into the sacred feminine during my Sacred Arising Feminine Exploration (SAFE) women’s group call over zoom on Sunday, September 29 at 10:00am PDT. Women over 18 can attend this call live or receive the recording.

The exploration of the sacred feminine is very often feeling the layers of the false, the wounded, and the inherited that have covered over the authentic essence of her. This meditation offers a locating of what energy your inner feminine is most presenting as right now….whether wounded inner child, angry inner teenager, etc. or if she is quite protected by your Inner Protector too. This serves as a good prep to the deeper waters that we will explore during the call.

More information about joining us for a $15 CAD energy exchange via our website shop or paypal here: https://www.facebook.com/events/93396…

or here: https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.co…

I also offer many guided meditations to connect with parts of yourself in this 33 Day video series called Deepen: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list…

The time for the arising of the Sacred Feminine is NOW…leading to a deeper embodiment of the Divine Mother within us all to offer profound healing and balancing to the Sacred Masculine.

Love,

Jelelle Awen

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Surrogacy W/Kuan Yin Offers Compassion, Forgiveness, And Stillness

By Jelelle Awen

For the last month, I have been experiencing a surrogacy with Kuan Yin (or Quan Yin), an aspect of the Divine Mother that holds a non-dualistic space and bodhisattva energy. A surrogacy with the Divine Mother is a visceral, daily connection space for a phase of time where you are letting in the specific tones that She is offering through whatever ‘form’ of Her that you will be most responsive to in the moment.
 
Kuan Yin is a beloved teacher for me, yet She is also a mirror for me. Her repeated mantra to me is often, “I am you and you are me.” This is an invitation to move beyond comparison, beyond feeling that I am ‘less’ than Her, beyond separation and into Unity. It also serves as a reminder that I am a Divine Spark in human form (as we ALL are.)
 
This latest round of surrogacy began as I started fasting and wanted to bring more prana/chi/life force energy into my body. I showed up in Kuan Yin’s etheric space, which is a beautiful oriental garden temple in the mountains of Japan. Kuan Yin connected me to a helpful mantra of “OM” (on the inhale) and “Ma” (on the exhale), which allows my mind and body to fill up with prana and then release it into my own energy field and the space around me. Om Ma is letting in the Divine in its Universal Form and exhaling Divine Mother’s expression.
 
I have also been connecting with a Metasoul aspect of mine named Lau, who is a disciple of Kuan Yin’s. As I have calibrated to the soft, gentle, delicate, and still nature of both Kuan Yin and Lau, tears have come up in moments. The tears have been about a mourning for a soft and compassionate feminine energy that I did not have or know with my own birth mother. There has also been hurt coming up for Lau in her relationship with her mother in her timeline that mirrors mine around not being seen for my soul gifts, my Divine presence, or my essence by my birth mother nor any of these gifts watered or initiated in me by her.
 
What I experienced of the feminine (as true for so many of us) was a matriarchal energy from my birth family line that had tones of control, manipulation, fear, and anxiety in it. There was little stillness, little love transacting, yet rather much frenetic energy that ‘filled the space’ and left no room for the authentic feminine to arise.
 
Over many years of processing this reality with parts of myself and having a very necessary phase of no contact with my birth mother, much of this wounding has healed. A healing that has been deep enough to allow a genuine flow of love and compassion from my heart to other women, especially those I serve in session space.
 
Yet, also this love transacts between me and my own daughter Raianna Shai at a rich and meaningful way, free from the angst, competition and controlling energies that I experienced as a daughter. When I started my healing journey many years ago, I knew that I could not authentically serve the arising of the sacred feminine in others nor be the kind of mother I wanted to be if I did not focus deeply and with complete intention on healing the difficult and painful experience I had myself this life and other lifetimes with the wounded feminine.
 
Kuan Yin’s energy offers a template for a feminine that is still, that is oriented first to BEing, that can feel the cries of the world without becoming them. I am so grateful for the Divine Mother and the many faces of Her that have been such a loving balm to all the parts of me that have needed them. And, it is Her energy that overflows to others in service of love so often when parts of them most need to feel forgiving, nurturing, and non-judgemental energies.
 
Kuan Yin reminds us that we are deeply loved for our essence….always and in all ways. We are Her and She is us.

~

Here is a guided meditation to connect with Kuan Yin and other faces of Divine Mother with Kalayna and me: 

 

I am also offering a new women’s group starting on Sunday, September 29th at 10:00am PDT over zoom for women over 18. I am honored to dive into the depths of sacred arising feminine exploration based on my experiences in my own process and serving other women for over 15 years. I am sure that Kuan Yin and other faces of Divine Mother will be joining us to hold the space for this sacred work! There is more information here if you’d like to join me live or to receive the recording for a $15 CAD donation: https://www.facebook.com/events/933962383622792/

or here; https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/womengroupcalls

 Love, Jelelle Awen

Soulfullheartwayoflife.com
Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Energy Update: Full ‘Harvest’ Moon Supports Recovery/Moving On Process

by Kalayna Solais

Energy update: DEEP tears last night before going to bed… Felt so fully held in the arms of the Divine, especially Divine Mother, bringing more waves of them to feel and help clear the cluttered heart. Tears of purging and detoxing, rebirth and renewal, they were. Body shaking, quaking, sobbing. This is the state I so willingly went to as I returned last night to my tenderness, femininity, woman’s heart after an intense journey interfacing with this new life phase that seems to be opening up wider this week… and had my masculine activated in a more defensive or protective way than a way that lets my femininity BE and be vulnerable and breathe more too.

Today’s Full Moon is bringing something to full illumination inside. Sometimes these moons bring these tides of tears that aren’t always about pain but simply about rising again for yourself, to yourself. Sometimes parts of us get so backed up in our busyness throughout our work weeks, explorations of connections with others (especially any new connections where parts will likely feel especially self-conscious and reactive), that once the more feminine space within can be accessed, they can burst open again like a broken water pipe, sharing everything they’ve been feeling this whole time, and the Divine is there holding the bucket that catches it all.

Friday the 13th energies feel like a wrap-up and renewal opportunity that also comes with the Full Moon energies bringing pieces to full circle. It’s definitely a time of rebooting. Of completing one phase and beginning another, even just internally. It could be a time for you of ‘harvest’ as this is the Harvest Moon, which brings in energies of encouragement and support to feel who you truly ARE right now after the journey you’ve been on so far.

In all of this deep feeling release that’s possible right now, there is an opportunity to continue to move on, to move UP in frequency and upgrade your desires for more love in all areas of your life too, especially within, because without that harvest, that cultivation of deepening inner love, the deepest and most healing movements cannot be what they most need to be.

Raphael and Jelelle Awen will be co-hosting a very powerful group transmission over Zoom tomorrow. I highly recommend checking it out, especially as a way to explore deeper what could be moving for you now. More info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/1340021326164133/

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Falling IN Love

Photo by Everton Vila on Unsplash

By Raianna Shai

In the past few weeks I have been trying to find the space and time to write a blog post, finding that I have struggled to “force” something profound and meaningful out of me when sometimes just living is as profound as you need to be in any moment. I have so much desire to serve love to others and to share what I learn on my awakening journey. Even now, I have many ideas of what I could write about but the words aren’t flowing as easily as they have in the past.

So as I sit here with an open heart, energy and time, I decided just to write about where I am currently in my life. That is what’s most authentic and flows from my heart with ease.

Right now I am falling in love. With myself, with other, with my life and family. I am falling in love inside and outside. I am growing and changing and facing my fears as much as I possibly can to continue letting in all of this love.

My inner process has been focused on a feminine and masculine part of me who are also learning to fall in love. They both have desires, needs, boundaries and fears. My feminine part, who I am calling Shai, is emotional and passionate and a true romantic at heart. My masculine part, named Michael, is discerning, intelligent and has a gift of holding 3D tasks. Together, they are balanced and full of love. Apart, they are opposite forces working against one another creating fear, anxiety and projection onto others.

Because of the abundance of goodness in my life right now, I have been focusing on these two parts in order to be able to continue letting it all in. It’s easy for parts to get scared when things are going well. In a dimension where things tend to “go wrong”, we can make predictions ahead of time of what may not work or what we might lose. In that, we lose the moment. We lose what we have in the present and we don’t get everything out of it that we could.

I’m working on not expecting the worse. On not bracing myself for the impact of something bad. But first, I feel the parts that do expect the worst and discover why that is. The more that Shai and Michael vulnerably share their fears with me, the more they will fall in love and fall in tandem with one another. That’s when their gifts can shine and that love can be shared with others.

We talk about inner sacred union a lot for a reason. It’s so important to start within. To grow the glow of love so brightly that it shines through every pore and into those around you.

*****

I found this poem from almost two years ago that I thought was fitting for this! It’s from my masculine too my feminine:

I always thought I was different than the other men

More sensitive

More emotional

More mature

 

I thought I was protecting you from the other men

Giving you edges

Hiding your feelings

Numbing your reactions

 

I thought you’d be hurt by the other men

They would crack you into pieces

They would scratch your porcelain skin

They would break your fragile heart

 

But now I see your strength as a woman

Your compassion

Your empathetic prowess

Your stillness and energy, both

 

I thought I could hide you as a woman

Under formless clothing

Under quick-witted comebacks

Under disinterest in romance

 

Maybe now I can support you as a woman

Become the mind to your heart

Become the here to your now

Become the pot to your plant

 

I’m not meant to be your guard,

But instead your partner

Your partner in this dance

Few know the steps to

 

Where our rhythms match,

Our hearts unite

And our souls release the energy

Of every star in the nighttime sky

*****

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Increasing Light Exposing The Dark Knight: Response To Mass Shootings

Somehow this is becoming a tragic reality of the unfolding drama within a country. Within humanity. After two back-to-back shootings on the heals of another just days earlier, it becomes clearer that a country is on a verge. I say a country because the US leads the world in these types of events. The mass shooting. The most numbers in one incident happened in Norway, but the volume of incidents and deaths happen in the US. 

It is also by the hands of men. Young men who all had deep emotional issues prior to the event. They have been described as outside the bounds of intimate community with a deep feeling of rejection and disenfranchisement. Yes, they are mostly white, and many have used their own hate as the fuel for their actions. The hate has been both indiscriminate and specific. We are all affected. 

I get that there is a war going on. It is undeniable to me. It is going on in the heart and soul of a populace of men. This saddens me deeply. It has edges of despair and hopelessness at times. These men have faced their own experience with violence and feeling unloved. When a part of them feels rejected, either by an individual or a group, this part needs to find a way to get its power back. It is a dark knight that seeks the throne of attention in any way it can, and being steeped in violence it has the means already at hand. 

This is a Violence Matrix. One that permeates the heart and soul of the wounded masculine. This aspect of men is permeable to influence in order to feel power. They can become pawns in a much larger game going on. They can create useful distractions and reactions that lead toward a specific goal. It is a soul history of being a soldier for The Cause. A 4D matrix that has deep roots. This is where the healing is if we can get there. The one great effect we have as men is to go into this and find out where that wound lives. That disempowerment, that rage, that violence. 

We all have our reactions to this from despair to indignation. When this happens the Rage of Change comes out loud and clear, but until we learn to love our own Dark Knight the cycle seems to keep recurring. As Gaia continues to enter more and more of the photonic light belt, we are going to see increased exposure of what lies deep within our collective shadow. These men are us. If we disconnect from them, we disconnect from a deeply wounded part of us seeking Love. We disconnect from a soul brother that is still in war and in battle. Fighting for his continued right to hate himself above all else. This brings me to tears. This brings me to wanting to love him and give him a home. No gun control legislation can heal this, even if it can stem it. 

We are being given the opportunity to feel something deeper. This is what Disclosure is offering us. It is not pretty. It is not overly welcome. But it is real and we need to face it. Otherwise, the wheel goes around one more time.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

 

Lion’s Gate Energy To Activate And Empower The Inner Masculine

This upcoming Lion’s Gate feels like a very activating and empowering portal. We are being offered the support to go in and access where we are still recapitulating dynamics and patterns in our emotional body and Metasoul. These cycles are looking to complete with love and compassion and reemerge into new cycles of higher manifestations and empowered, self-loving choices.

The inner masculine provides the ‘juice’ for this transition transmission. It creates the container by which the healing and emerging can deepen. If you feel like there a block to manifesting or moving into your next phase of growth, there is a part of you that has a resistance to that.

It can be a Protector/Gatekeeper that knows what is possible if that container is created. It means you have the ways and means to get even more intimate with yourself and your shadow. It also means that you have more to ‘lose’ if you are successful at the manifestation of what it is you truly want.

With each portal we are being shown what it is we need to go into to further this ascension process. Subconsciously we have some clue and THAT is what scares us. Going in it is what brings us to the other side, but do we have just enough worth to bring the unworth with us and see what happens?

This is a great time to feel what it is you really want out of life. Put in your Christmas list now as the Universe, and our Sirian aspects, want to give it to us! It is all right here for each of us to grab. Santa’s bag is an Infinite well of goodies! This is where it can feel too good to be true for many parts and aspects of you anchored in the unworth and scarcity.

Tapping into your Sirian guides, your inner masculine/feminine, inner child/teenager, and Protector/Gatekeeper can help bring clarity to what has kept you from fully inhabiting and claiming what it is you really want and believe you can be.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Getting Sirius About Unworthiness With Love & Compassion

It is genuinely feeling our worth that leads us beyond what we have currently set up for ourselves in our experience, both externally and internally.

It is easy for our unworth to accept the environment that we have settled for, as attempting to go beyond that means we would have to feel like we deserved it to harness the power to change it. So many excuses to living a truly magical life are ways in which our unworth is telling us that it is afraid to feel the depth of this wound.

The power to manifest lies in our worth. It is the what opens the door to turning our dreams into reality. Mundane into the Sacred. It what pulls us out of the dark and into the light. But the act of letting in our worth is found in feeling the part of us that holds our unworth.

To be able to just separate that out means you have enough worth to take another step. To feel another possibility. Making the next choice while your worth holds your unworth through the doorway and into the next layer of your power and self-love. Each time you hold this unworthiness through its cycles, it surrenders more and more and you get bigger and bigger.

The experiences can be very difficult. The unworthiness, expressed in so many different ways, can win out at times. It does have an immense power, but since it was ultimately created by us in the first place means we must have the power to be hold it and love it.

This core wound will arise in times when you find yourself on your way to accessing your greatest gifts and your deepest love. It is ironically a sacred road sign that was planted by you before you even realized it. So antithetical to a rational mind bent on avoiding pain. It is easy to find ourselves being in stasis in order to not go into it. But when you are ready, when your soul and guides and soul family are there to back you up when needed, it will come to you.

It says, “I trust you and I need you.” Your unworth is your sacred treasure to the magic you have always been.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

On ‘Mary Magdalene Day’: A Celebration Of Her Love & Frequencies

Art by Tanya Torres: https://www.artbytanyatorres.com/single-post/2016/08/01/The-Mary-Magdalene-Celebration-Dancing-With-the-Magdalene

By Kalayna Solais

She is the sound of drums in the dance of ritual.

She is the beating heart of a woman falling in love.

She is the robes and cloak and flowing silks of the softening feminine,

Strong yet soft in frequency and determined to offer healing and love to others

As she continues to love and heal herself.

She is the red of garden roses, the pink of blushing female cheeks, the connection of hotness between lovers exploring their hearts, souls, and bodies in committed connection and Sacred Union dance.

She is the rhythm of the heart that sings within me

That reminds me to be embodied and embracing

Of everything that makes me uniquely ME.

She is Mary Magdalene. Magdalena. Mary of Magdala. Beloved ‘Maggie’.

For me, She is the ongoing inspiration for service and the beacon of what’s possible to BEcome as a fully human woman, especially a human woman with a mate within and without, offering healing and love to others alongside him and sometimes on Her own too.

With me, She dances in moonlight and firelight, honouring the gift of living on Gaia, growing in breadth and depth as I do in this lifetime and others.

She offers me and others sisterhood in a healing form that goes beyond competition and toxicity, that promises the possibility of vulnerable connection and where that can take all of us in new waves of intimacy, deepening love, and appreciation of each other’s gifts.

Today and all days I honour Her in Her unique form and face of the Divine Mother/Feminine. Today I am reminded that She is here with me, guiding me, offering love exchange with Her as I learn to see myself in Her and Her in me. As I heal any unworthiness that keeps Her from entering more fully into my body and heart.

And together today we share these words to bring the energy home to YOU, to invite you into deeper feeling and connection with Her, as Her arms are always open and Her music is always playing… waiting to be danced to… whether you are a man or a woman.

With much love today and all days, and a hope that today you find space to dance in your goodness and celebration in the goodness of the love that surrounds and flows within you,

Kalayna & Maggie ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Divine Mother Transmission & Guided Meditation: ‘Discover’ Vlog Series With Kalayna Solais

By Kalayna Solais

After yesterday’s Lunar Eclipse there seems to be an influx of Divine Feminine/Mother energies available and supporting us all. She is coming in on waves of love, care, and compassion for us through all of the intensity and the processes we are in individually but also collectively.

I created this transmission and guided meditation this morning to help you feel Her frequencies that are coming in now. Even if you haven’t really felt Her before, this is a great introduction to some of her many faces/energies and to the process as well of awakening/connecting to Her deeper.

I share personally about some of what I’ve been through that has helped me awaken more to Her arms. There is a bit more about this process in a video that Jelelle Awen and I did together during her Deepen series, here:

Much love!

Kalayna ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.