Tag: consciousness

Healing Relationship Cycles And Stories

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

wooden-hearts

Our relationships can feel like an endless circle, and run in infinite circles too… cycles of pain, of this and that being faced, brought up, fought over, over and over again, while inside of you, you feel as if you ARE the relationship and have a hard time sensing where it ends and you begin.

The same stories are told in countless ways. Stories about the friendship, the romance, the family holiday when you were 5. Some of these stories are told outright, while some are told unconsciously through the ways you’re used to being and interacting with each other. So much of this is accepted by part of you, as being just ‘the way it is’ and perhaps the way it has always been. The relationships you see around you don’t challenge this mind and heart-set of yours either, as they are stuck in the same or very similar loops and cycles. There are certain questions that are never asked about the health of it all and the degree to which it’s self-loving or not, to remain in these stories. Sometimes the Pleasantville experience of it all isn’t so pleasant, yet you remain and aren’t encouraged to ask why… and often the answer to the ‘why’ is that there are fears and more unanswered questions about how life would look without these relationships in place, or at least in the same place they’ve always been up ’til now.

To remain fully involved in all relationships around you without a chance to go inward and discover YOU leads to a world of intense defenses and protection instead of healthy boundaries. It asks parts of you to blend-in, merge, become the relationships instead of feeling what they feel. It asks you to put a stopper in your own growth and the growth of others too. There is so much more to be discovered within you, if you can find a way to take the space you need… and to listen to that voice within, that wants to help clarify for you what you need and want most and what you are most worthy of experiencing in relationship with yourself and others.

To go into YOU… this is risky for these relationships. It does ask them to change as you change, and often it seems that others aren’t willing to come with you. They have a choice to go inside too, to join you on your path or find their own. There is nothing wrong here, there is only what is real… which is perhaps the hardest thing to trust. What is real is what heals and is also what grounds you into the new soil your roots of heart and soul are aching to grow in – the garden bed of a budding ‘self’ that wants to flourish in its self-ness and explore relationships with others from a new place of worth and love that flows deeply on the inside of a YOU that you are now coming to know and become.

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Tomorrow at 11:11 CST, there will be a live stream taking place on Facebook, with Raphael and Jelelle Awen. They will be talking about SoulFullHeart, the 3D self, and anything else they feel to share. Please stop by and feel free to ask questions, comment, or just give them some love! https://www.facebook.com/events/1273156469462294
 
In SoulFullHeart, we offer an ongoing process where you feel parts of you as well as your 3D/4D/5D selves.It is an in-depth healing process that forever deepens and expands. If you are curious to know more and/or may wish to sign-up for a free 30-min intro session, please visit: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Spirituality And The 3D Self

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

seed

 

 

The 3D self says,

“I don’t always believe in ‘god’… unless of course, it’s a literal god, one who has very black and white ways of punishing or rewarding us as humans and has given us very clear rules through people we don’t question. Sometimes I feel punished or rewarded for goodness or badness. Sometimes I don’t feel much of anything and just want to be left alone… because ultimately, I do feel alone. I don’t get a visceral sense of ‘god’ or ‘god-ness’ and I usually feel drawn to compartmentalizing god too… leaving ‘him’ to when I attend church on Sundays or at Christmas, for example. Sometimes I like retreats because they don’t challenge me to live with the spirituality every day and the 4D self can at least be sort of satiated for a while by them, or at least it can seem so. Letting in the Divine scares me because I don’t quite know or understand what that means, and I really feel mostly like it would mean losing everything I’ve built or bought or earned – relationships, career, things, etc. I don’t feel or find anything ‘spiritual’ or purposeful in the every day, and most of the time this suits me just fine… if god doesn’t bother me, I won’t bother ‘him’. Life seems like an uncontrollable thing at times, and yet totally controllable in others… or at least, I’ve convinced myself I have control when I really don’t. And if I truly let that in, I would crumble – or at least I’m afraid I would.

I live in systems made of my fears and the fears of others, that are led and maintained by the most afraid members of society. God is unknowable and unseeable, but money is and relationships are, and family is too. I can see and touch and smell material things and food that I want. I can’t see or touch who made them or harvested them or at least not often, and I don’t want to look that far into anything. I want what I want in this moment and beyond that, I don’t care. To truly be in touch with ‘god’ would mean having to see more than I do now. I don’t think I want that.

You’re born, you live, you die. I don’t think much about what happens after that. All I care about is where my next fun is coming from, in the form of food, sex, or something material that shows me I’m worth something. How does ‘god’ have a chance to enter that, and why would I want ‘him’ to?”

Sometimes, as we walk into and through different chapters of 4D awakening, where spirituality then becomes a subject fraught with questions and soul rebirth canals, we inhabit a 3D reality which is essentially ‘god-less’, at least in the sense of having a daily, visceral experience of god or the Divine in different forms and energies. You may feel yourself weaving in and out of a more 3D reality of the ‘god picture’ along the way, sometimes feeling as if life is wonder-less, and that you don’t have much sense of the Divine in your life right now. This can feel really dense and as if there is a ceiling over you and sometimes you may even have physical reactions to this reality, like intense head pain, along with some emotional reactions from parts of you to different situations in your life where things don’t seem to be going the way you or part of you wants them to. As we awaken, we begin to separate out from this ‘self’ that would rather not hold a personal sort of ‘god’ experience and also the different parts that hold this as their only possible reality. The 3D self doesn’t seem to vanish, however, though it does heal more and more and gradually integrates into our daily reality and our being in a different way. Our 3D self represents ‘this-life’ wounds and pain, though it may not always feel that consciously or if it does, it may seek therapy or some form of self-help that won’t ultimately reach the deepest aspects of what needs to heal. It needs us, inside of our 4D or 5D selves, to help bridge it to something deeper and actually be with it there too, not trying to suppress or abandon it, which we can’t really do anyways.

The 3D self can sometimes make itself hard to love. It has a way in which it has built formidable walls and can feel unreachable in the sense of feeling it deeply beyond a surface-level sense of success, failure, loss, gain, happiness at getting what it wants, sadness when it doesn’t. It very seldom holds a deep compassion towards itself or others. This may not be true of all 3D selves, but for most of them, this feels like what needs to be felt, held and reconciled within each.

Ascension, in my sense of it, means inviting the 3D self to come along, loving it the whole way. This love can’t be false because this ‘self’ won’t buy it if it is, or might pretend to for a time but in the end, it won’t be deeply moved by anything you offer it. It is so often an energy of protective disbelief. Loving it begins with feeling one part of you at a time, and feeling your way into the love that wants to flow into and through you and wrap around it too. From this place, comes our deepest, purest sense of spirituality, which has always been there somehow, though the days and moments come when we feel it has left us or isn’t accessible. These phases are as much a part of our journey as the highest heights are, and every bit as sacred.

To learn more about working with and healing your 3D self, you can visit our website, http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for a sense of how we hold the process and what the SoulFullHeart process is in and of itself. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

‘Time’ Is A Co-Creation Of Love

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

time-1890294_960_720

Our relationship to ‘time’ is changing, and we’re invited to feel this more and more.

It’s not that ‘time’ is ‘evil’. Time, like money, has gotten a bad rep due to projections and the way we hold and relate to it. Aging, for example, can be a frightening concept for a few reasons… our bodies start shifting in ways we can’t control, though parts of us might work very hard to do so. Perhaps you’re one who has over-attached to this concept of aging and maybe the idea of someday ‘running out of time’ has been scary too. It feels like so many of us have come into this life with a sense of soul urgency, mistaking this feeling as a warning that we need to get somewhere (though we may not know where exactly) and fast. Of course we do only have a limited ‘time’ on this planet, yet in another way, perhaps these urgent feelings have been more about an ‘urge’ itself. A drive to keep going, to keep feeling, to keep moving forward while moving inward. It feels like parts of us can sometimes hijack these urges and make them about something else, and of course this is the veil of illusion that we signed up for in 3D anyways and something we are meant to find our way out of. The scene from Labrynth where Sarah is stuck in an illusion and forgets about her original quest to get her baby brother back comes to mind. Though in SoulFullHeart we would hold that she chose this illusion, not that Gareth or any other entity, energy or figure did it TO her.

It’s part of our awakening to realize that time is only as real as we make it and also that it’s needed to be real here on Gaia for many reasons – many of which we have yet to uncover. Time is both a man-made and a Divinely created construction. I feel like it has been offered to us as a container to press us onward into healing. It has given us a well-laid out playground to journey through 3D and find our way through the dark tunnels of 4D. It has made us acknowledge differences in ourselves and each other, contributing, if we let it, to our sense of conscious duality.  Just like money, time is an expression of love and is a mirror too. It is often seen as ‘scarce’ and held by parts and metasoul aspects of us as a source of intense stress. What we’re invited to feel now, is that time is another aspect of abundance and that it, like love, has no inherent ‘lack’, but only more of it to let in.

This may not play out literally in our lives as we know and live them, at least not in this moment on Gaia, but we can trust the infinite nature of it, and that it too was created for and WITH us. It reminds us that we co-created the reality that we now ‘know’ and that in another way, it is as infinite as we are and wants to be a part of our manifestations in this world.

Embracing time as a gift given to us for NOW, can perhaps help us feel a different relationship to it and to so many other concepts parts of us have deemed so far to be troublesome. It’s another invitation to feel that Love has already WON and there is nothing to fight here, only to tap into as it invites us to keep tapping into ourselves and our hearts.

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Ways Our 3D/4D/5D ‘Selves’ Experience The World

Published on by Kasha Rosa3 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

multidimensional

“I want to focus on how I look to others and try and control what they think of me. I want success and I want peace. The world is mostly black and white to me… ugly or beautiful, full or empty, alive or dead. What I want more than anything else is to be satisfied with life just as it is. And if I’m never quite ‘satisfied’, well, that’s okay. No one else seems to be living the life they really want to anyway! Why ‘take the road less travelled’ when this road is so paved and comfortable?” Says the 3D self that doesn’t think much about dreaming of more for itself, though the longing may be there for a different way to see itself and to experience life in a more expansive way. Yet, it finds contentment sometimes in simple content that doesn’t necessarily satisfy but does keep basic needs met at least. It is a simpler approach to life and one that less and less people are able to inhabit anymore these days.

“I want to fix and focus on the world outside of me… everything is falling apart or needs to fall apart. I can see the possibilities for the future and it all pretty much looks and feels like Hell. The world is anything but simple and it seems to be getting more complicated every day, with the lies that are told and the awful stances that most are taking! Wake up, world!!!” Says the 4D self, awakening more and more into an awareness of the turmoil, angst and outrageous circumstances in this world of ours. Feeling that everything happening on the outside is what needs addressing and that doing and battling is how to ‘win’. It is hard to feel satisfied by life in any way… or that there is much hope left for this world of ours.

“I want to keep going in, to find the parts that still need integrating. An act that changes the world within and can’t help but change the world with-out too! I have so much energy for it all… from where I am, the world does need help, and it IS moving toward something much better, much bigger, all on its own and also in tandem with all of those who are willing to go within. To me, there is not only hope available, but love has already won.” Says the ever-present (somewhere) 5D self that acts as more than a cheerleader for our growth and expansion, but also as a beacon, a reminder that life really can be good, that we really can heal, and that in the end, there is a much brighter way for us all to shine.

Multi-dimensional you, reading this… I’m willing to bet that you resonate with all three of these points of view, that each ‘self’ of your own is standing up, saying, ‘I totally get this!’. Every stage of awakening is sacred, and yes, you do likely move between these 3 ‘selves’ quite often, depending on triggers or what’s happening in your inner and outer worlds. The ways in which you see and feel the world is expanding, contracting, moving… sometimes from simple pleasures to hope, to despair, to grief, and then maybe back to joy and bliss again. There is so much to trust and feel in each moment of this. It is all finding its way… YOU are finding your way!

Some days it can feel like there is something intense going on within… different ‘selves’ trying to edge each other out to take centre stage and to get your attention, let alone the attention of those around you. Much is being shaken up within. Much is wanting air, breathing, movement. You’re on your way, even with each intense wave of feeling, doubting, hoping, loving.

There’s a way that the world outside of you wants to press on you to feel each of these ‘selves’ and the parts of you that they’re made of. The 5D self is more like a ‘no-self’ in a way, actually, with no parts, yet it is eager to create a greater, more loving container for the other parts of you. Sometimes it can feel like such a stretch to reach for these energies of expansive holding and high-vibe breathing that somehow gets to this place of loving and Divine frequencies without transcending or losing touch with the parts that need to be felt. To be able to live more in 5D is the dream for the near future and the invitation in the NOW too!

There is so much going on within you… and it is all somehow feeling its way, learning its way., finding its way to a greater centre inside of you that feels, trusts, knows that love has already won and so have YOU… ❤

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

A Love Poem From Your Emotional Body

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

emotional body poem

 

I dance on the edges

of the insane.

 

I notice what others

refuse to.

 

I bring out that which is deemed

illogical

irrational

crazy

by a mind conditioned

to a way of seeing

hearing

sensing life,

using only the 5 physical senses.

 

I cry aloud

inside the body,

in organs abused

and a skin misused.

I ring the alarm

of

‘I’ve been here before’

in ways

that aren’t always caught

in the net of the mind.

 

I want all that love

I know is there…

and in here.

 

I want to be seen

but more so to be felt.

 

I want to be heard

Not simply dealt with,

and I want to float with you

not be buried below you.

 

You can transcend me

but only until

my cries for your love

become louder than the medicine

you’ve taken so diligently.

 

I am not delicate

though I am sensitive.

I am a rose

but the thorns are from you.

I want to be touched

and held by the ready,

and I want to be raised up

with all you’ve pretended

I’m not part of…

 

Take me with you,

make me beloved to you,

for I am a powerful force

that wants not to overpower

but to cleanse and clear

all of the unhealed

unclaimed

soul and heart luggage

of your nomadic and wandering

wonderings.

 

I am that emotional body

you hear about

but seldom see

as anything that needs you.

I hold those parts of you

that absorb it all

and store the data within

that decodes your most sovereign path

to the healing and enlightenment,

enHEARTenment,

you most deeply,

profoundly

seek.

If you take me with you

in me you will find

all of the love

you’ve ’til now left behind.

 

So please,

feel it all

and bring it all back inward

to that place

where I can become as sacred

as your sweet times of exploration

in all other domains

of your amazing

emotional

physical

spiritual

incredible

being.

 

Let’s dance together

on that edge

where life makes no sense

and love makes all the sense

you may never have thought

you were worthy of before.

before.

 

Let’s create a new ‘now’

well beyond the known

and what was once ‘real,

to enter a new reality

of wholeness

only ever dreamt of

in dreams most others

have a deep fear of having.

 

In infinite love,

Your sometimes hidden

but always present,

Emotional Body.  ❤

 

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

Awaken To The Love And The Life You Didn’t Know You Were Missing

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

dream landscape

 

How do you know how you want to feel if you haven’t felt it yet, and if all you’ve felt so far hasn’t quite touched something unnamed inside of you, and hasn’t ‘clicked’ in a way that is beyond the mind? How do you know the love frequency that is the most authentic, thorough, challenging, healing, and far-reaching into the depths of YOU, if you haven’t experienced it yet?

New experiences… this is why we seek them. Because we don’t know what we want until we experience it, until we notice it, get tastes of it, see it, hear it, smell it. We know, somehow, that what we have now, or have had so far, isn’t ‘it’, though most of the time, it’s so hard to know what ‘it’ even is…

How do you know how deep your healing can go, if part of you has already declared that you’re ‘done’ and there’s nowhere else to go? How do you know what it really feels like, to surrender to the burgeoning humility that burns you up like a sacred fire inside and wants nothing more than to inspire you like you’ve never been inspired before? A burning inferno of incredible self-love and care that sets boundaries with others when needed, makes bold choices, lights your life up, feels all incoming changes and invitations for change, and lets it ALL in to be felt, heard, held. An embracement of every single part of you and aspect of your soul, wounded or not, that absolutely grips you, makes you want to experience more of yourself, more of life, more of relationship, more of LOVE… this is what’s not only possible but so imminent, all you need ‘do’ is open up that heart of yours and let it in, which does take work, courage, and desire.

This is a call not ‘to arms’, but to heart. This is the call that brings you home, to that place inside that you didn’t realize WAS home, because ‘home’, you were taught, was something you made outside of you, something you settled for, sooner or later, because it’s what your parents and friends did and are doing. You burn with more than this inside you. You blaze with visions that seize your chakras and dance in your dreams. You wake up in the morning with divergent feelings, polarities, taking you in different directions, bringing you to different focuses that don’t always reflect what it is you actually want in life or feel in your soul that you are meant to be and have.

If you want to experience something new in your spirituality, in your emotionality, because spinning around in the same dance isn’t enough for you now and maybe it never really was… In SoulFullHeart, we have a heartfelt and deeply experienced answer for you that may actually be the one you’ve been looking for, that you didn’t realize you were missing… until you let yourself feel it for the first time.

http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

You can try a free 30min intro with Raphael Awen or Gabriel Heartman. Email soulfullhearts@gmail.com or contact one of these men directly through Facebook.

❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

 

When The Heart Understands

Published on by Kasha Rosa3 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

heart-608787_960_720

It’s that ‘heart click’ time. Things that can’t be explained or broken down mentally are coming in now. It’s intuition that opens out from a deeper trust and also a feeling of faith in the lessons that come. This trust is bred from within, from feeling parts that don’t trust you or themselves but want to.

Click.

These moments when something dawns in the sky of your heart hold so much meaning. It is the opening of your compassionate understanding, starting with something finally making sense inside of you. “Oh… so that’s why I’ve felt this way for so long” are words are that will sometimes come to you on these waves of new found inner wisdom and self-discovery.

Click.

Parts of you have tried so hard to live life the way they’re used to, and this isn’t as possible anymore. They are getting tired. Some persona inside of you is wearing thin, wants a break, wants to rest, and may be having a hard time dropping its sword and all its very good reasons for having been there all this time. The outrage and resistance and sometimes also transcendence that you thought was ‘yours’, you can start feeling as belonging to a part or parts of you.

Click click.

These words about ‘parts’ may be starting to ‘click’ now too. This is that ‘heart click’ again, where something just feels true. It just feels like, yes, something inside of you is done with the weight it’s been carrying and probably burying too at times. This whole universe inside of you where many different parts ping in their beautiful though sometimes shadowy constellations of reaction and reticence, is somehow starting to make heart-sense now. Self-forgiveness arises, as you feel these parts in their reality and understand why they’ve been there, why they’ve chosen what they have as YOU, why they’ve acted or felt the way they have until now.

Click.

The love you feel for these parts of you now is the love you feel deepening for yourself as a whole. This love you feel can extend towards others more so now too. You can actually start to feel others without reticence for it. Your compassionate heart is naturally opening because you are regularly giving your own parts and heart what they need. You understand the need for healthy selfishness and you trust more that what is best for you will ultimately be what’s best for others too, even though ‘hurt’ may happen along the way. ‘Hurt’ is a roadmap and part of the sacred journey within. It’s a necessary piece in order to feel the parts that are in pain and have been in pain for a long time, though they may have found some pretty powerful ways to avoid feeling it and what’s at the core of it.

Click click click.

Judgements of others begin to lose their charge and fall away as you feel why they were there in the first place and also the parts that held these judgements start to rest around it all. You are morphing and changing and shifting. More ‘heart clicks’, more Ascension. It’s all coming, it’s all happening, and it’s a lot to let in. In moments of awakening inside, the ‘clicking’ feeling can be so powerful that it rushes through the bodies… emotional, spiritual, physical, social… astral. A lot is downloading as the mind races to grasp what it actually needs the heart to understand first.

And understand, the heart does. One ‘click’ at a time.

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Eclipse Energies Bring A Renewed Sense Of The Sacred Masculine Dance

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

 

solar-eclipse-clouds-man-light

The Eclipse energies are bringing out something NEW in the masculine. It is trying to birth a new sense of what the ‘sacred masculine’ is, which has felt elusive and puzzling, not to mention hard to define. Any definitions we’ve tried to say are ‘it’ have tended to fall short most of the time, for it is still being rediscovered, along with the sacred feminine. It calls for men who are able to embody its messiness of heart and truth on this path of rediscovery. It calls for women to feel it within themselves as a counterpart to the budding inner feminine. The wounded masculine is alive within us all to some degree, until it has really been felt for the protection it has wanted and needed to offer and the tiredness it is feeling more and more as it realizes it IS wounded and does need our love and healing…

This healing can and does happen, the more we hold the desire for it too. It is so much of what needs to be felt and healed in our world as we ‘kNOw’ it today. It is expressed in the ways we claim to ‘know’ what we cannot in many ways, mental approaches to spirituality that do not ask us to embody it and feel it deeply inside of our hearts as arising sacred humans, and it is our okayness and also thirst for war and battles in any way, shape or form. It is expressed too, through our outrage, through our self-image creation and maintenance, through our push-aways from our hearts and the hearts of others, through the walls parts of us have built around us, wanting to contain and protect was is precious within, wanting to keep itself from being felt for what it truly is.

We see and feel it in our leaders and our leadership inside of us too. We feel it in our sexuality, our desires for dominance (though as woman, perhaps this is more subtle or takes a different form than it does for men), our pushing and action-based lives we’ve led. It is something that shows up often in our daily lives, especially when we have not begun to really see it and feel it.

Perhaps this current Eclipse will help bring in more illumination of this inside of you and inside of others. I am feeling it for myself today and these words are what I want to offer the masculine inside of me, inside of you, and inside of all men…

~

To the renewing, emerging, strengthening Sacred Masculine, within AND outside of me…

I invite you into a dance. A dance less structured than a waltz, and as passionate as a tango. I want to fill my dance card with the names of men (and eventually, only ONE man) who feel the pull, the desire, for themselves, for me, for us. I want unchoreographed, spontaneous steps, sometimes in alignment with each other, at other times not. I want the mess of the self-discovery that has us at times wondering how on Earth we’re going to navigate this one, though we both have the gumption, the desire, the courage to keep going inside as the only option.

I want something I can grab a hold of, without tugging or being tugged on. Something that is concrete yet has breathing and fluidity and room for what IS along with what could be and what we both want, starting with what we want inside of ourselves.

The games of old, those ones we never wanted to play anyway, they are being asked to crumble inside of us. They are being set to fall away in avalanches of pure love and sacred union codes coming in, that so do not resonate or match the currently embraced picture of romantic relationship, which is steeped in much emotional and spiritual immaturity and unrealness.

I want to let it all, all we’ve thought we ‘knew’, fly away with the wind in poignant moments of sorting through this from that within each of us and within ‘us’ too. I want to unlearn and relearn it all with you. I want to feel it all bubbling up and bursting within me and within us, and play it all like notes and chords on piano keys, bringing it all to the fore of our relationship ground, that place where it’s safe to do so and yet the precipice of where it could all fall apart (and in phases, needs to) is always there too.

I see you, I feel you, I know you… I trust the heart that is arising and reconciling inside of you, sometimes with contention and male ‘UMPH’. Ugh. YES. The line of abuse cannot be reached by a heart that is working towards its purity and holds deep reverence, respect, love, care, for itself and me too.

I want any resistance that’s here within you, within me, to BE pushed up, to be felt, to be held, to be loved, to be ultimately moved. I do not want the resistance to become the relationship, the reason to slow it all down. I want our parts to know, feel, understand that you are there for them, for your own, that I am there for them, for my own.

I want the genuine, the real, the incredibly HOT sacred masculine that arises from deep within the shadows and caves of the real, the soulful, the heartful, that doesn’t caretake, the penetrates in all the ways it needs to, that mates and creates and brings its truth, even if its truth isn’t polished or perfect or even UNDERSTOOD fully. I want the shit storms. Yes. The masculine in ME wants that, wants to be pressed up, pushed on, noticed, healed, moved, so that the feminine that so wants to dance with it and with YOU can arise more and more as the climate shifts to one where it can, where it is safe to, where it isn’t expected to battle, to be an Amazon, to outrage, but to encourage, to be, to heal, to offer

I want the ‘shit storms’. Yes. The masculine in ME wants that, wants to be pressed up, pushed on, noticed, healed, moved, so that the feminine that so wants to dance with it and with YOU can arise more and more as the climate shifts to one where it can, where it is safe to, where it isn’t expected to battle, to be an Amazon, to outrage, but to encourage, to be, to heal, to offer healing, to LOVE, to have her stillness that is born from an elegant blossom grown in mud and fun too. I want those portals the masculine and feminine are meant to create together, to bring out from each other, to step into in love that is made in the physical and other levels too. And you’ll know if you can do this, by your reaction to these words, that yes, I do feel are coming from a masculine AND a feminine inside of me too. Somehow, I trust that if you’re meant to, you’ll get this. Your maturity will resonate with it and your heart and soul that desire to FEEL and to HEAL and to make genuine, heart open love that travels to the Cosmos and back again with a woman is what you’ll feel now.

This is not coming from a woman who has solely been burned, been victimized, been abused, though of course that lies in this woman’s heart and body’s history with men who haven’t embodied the sacred masculine before or really even tried (save one, who to this day I still heal with consistently and we help each other move a lot, even just as dear friends). My stories of these experiences are not an attachment, though they also live in my Metasoul as well as my emotional and physical bodies. Nothing inside of me is asking you to heal it for me. Nothing inside of me needs you to be something you’re not, for what you ARE, IS the journey for me and for you.

I feel ready. I feel ready to take on something new. I feel ready for what can only move and heal in monogamous, romantic relationship. I feel a new relationship arising to my own inner masculine that wants to become more of the sacred masculine too, and at the same time, I feel my feminity wanting to arise more and more, to be in the space with me more, to feel safer there than she ever has. To share this with a man, who is also feeling inside of himself a feminine counterpart that wants to arise and heal and be, along with a masculine that wants to do the driving, to lead himself to more healing on a REAL level, to be in deep sacred union mateship with a woman that he sees and feels as body, heart, AND soul and wants to claim with all of his being as she claims him with all of hers, THIS is the dream, this is the desire that is bursting from me today. And this is the ongoing invitation, perhaps right now more than ever before with these Solar Eclipse energies coming in and illuminating, shifting, driving us to more and more healing on levels that maybe we could not have imagined before.

My inner masculine and feminine, who are trying to reconcile something with each other in this moment, it feels like, thank you for taking this in right now. They thank you for welcoming their passion, their unknown about themselves that they are looking to discover, their desire to feel it all. Thank you… and I welcome you into this powerful sense of passionate discovery and rediscovery for yourself too.

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

In The Humble Service Of Love, We Serve Ourselves Too

Published on by Kasha Rosa3 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

Blonde Girl Flying with Butterflies

As I hold space for others, so I hold space for myself.

As the journey unfolds with a facilitant and within my relationship with this facilitant, I feel more ‘me’ that arises and surprises too. I feel teachings escape my lips, coming from a place higher than where it has felt that maybe my head and heart have been in recent hours, minutes or days. I feel offerings full of love that move within me, sometimes bringing me to tears as I feel my beloved facilitant’s tears too. Together we feel the magic of the moment, of the movement stirred within her, that is somehow stirring within me too. I feel her, I feel me, I feel how we are connected to each other, yet also to something bigger, something ‘ahead’ yet not ‘above’ us, that dances in collaboration with our hearts and souls in this sacred space we call ‘SoulFullHeart sessions’.

We pilgrim to this place, this Mecca within and held too in community group spaces together, dining or checking in or both. We journey here through the heart, with the mind, engaging all facets, all aspects, all parts of our being. We bring all we are to the table, we work to build this altar of inner ‘god/goddess’ worship through many tears, many words written down, many feelings deeply felt. All awakenings along the way are markers, big or small, of where we have gone and where we are continuing to go. All birth canals are just that… deep breathing that allows for contractions within our being, bringing about new meanings, new places to see and feel the world from, new ways to see and feel ourselves and the magic of our inner worlds. The shadows have magic in them too. They help to show the light, they illuminate where the love still needs and wants to go, they bring in more of what we need to feel MORE loved, MORE ‘up’.

I am always humbled by what comes when I hold session space with another who is engaged in this work. I am humbled by their journey that is unfolding, unearthing before me, within them, in my presence, in the presence of the Divine, of curious Star Beings, of Archangels, of Metasoul Aspects, of as-yet undiscovered parts who are waiting in the wings for their moment to hold center stage in this healing place of inner worship and love. Wow. Nothing beats this… nothing compares to all that is learned through this. Here there is no kNOwing, only feeling. Sometimes pure feeling, without words. Pure spaces of really letting in love, sometimes for the first time, or what can truly feel like the first time.

I keep learning as my facilitants learn, about themselves, about the world, about spirituality, about what it means to be human, but most of all, what it means to be THEM. They keep leaning as I do, into me, into my experience that has placed me ‘ahead’ of them for this phase at least, into the Divine, into an arising heart that is growing and healing and expanding inside of them and inside of me too.

I am blessed to be in this place, holding this space with others walking and feeling this out. I am blessed to share it as a process for me too, just as it is a process for them. The crucible of leading, of teaching, of serving love, is a deep calling that flows inward and outward, both, like the most sacred river you will ever feel, ever find, ever kneel before and drink from with the most reverence you have ever felt in your life. I have the honour of serving love, of feeling more of the love that I am, and getting a front row seat to witness that unfold inside of another.

For me, this is what it means to serve love in this phase of my life. To wear my humble robes of experience, to wade through the self-doubts that surface from parts and Metasoul aspects of me that actually need this crucible in order to heal. Incredible. Divine. Sacred. I am in love… and more and more, I feel like I AM love.

Another corridor awaits and at each turn there is more.

And here we go, into it ALL, with it all, loving it all, and then some. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Multi-Dimensional Dance Of Soul And Heart Maturation

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

flying heart

It’s an odd dance for me today and lately, of feeling both here and not here, both overwhelmed and as if I am in abundant joy to the point where I want to yell in some sort of orgasmic ecstasy… this push-pull sensation between the unknown and the known. The sort of acquaintance I have had deep in my soul with being a ‘young adult’ and taken care of by many though there was always an ache to be independent of this too. It’s a polarization of wanting to mature, to have my heart grow and open and beacon OUT in the service of love and a tug on the inside that still wants to stay small, stay ‘young’, find a mom and maybe a dad too to take care of all of my major needs. At times this ‘parent’ on the outside has been drawn through a boyfriend or a best friend. Sometimes it has pulled on aspects of my beloveds too, needing challenges that would come from a parent shaping their child, wanting to be guided in all choices instead of seeking the guidance within and getting messy when necessary. I think some of the more chaotic phases of my life have come as a result of this polarization, this feeling of both wanting to BE so much more of who I AM and am becoming, and yet being content on some level to find my smallness again too through circumstances and relationships and even jobs as well.

I’ve had plenty of ‘adulthood’ templates cross my path. Many of which parts of me have rebelled against, wanting to find their own way. At times it has been a relief to feel that someone has been wherever I am at a given moment before and can offer me wisdom from the place of having walked through it. And yet, at other times, the relief has not come as then these moments seem to ‘rob’ a part of me of being able to experience it all on my/her own too. To prove that maybe there IS another way that it can all turn out… inevitably, we all have to walk out our own circumstances in a way that fits with our soul and heart maturity level. This is supposed to shape our destinies in different ways than maybe we’ve ever seen or noticed before. This is daunting and empowering, both.

Some of this is the ‘Indigo dilemma’ it feels like, or at least this is what I feel to call it in the moment. It’s this inner drive to change pretty much everything about how the world works or has worked until now. It often comes out as a desire to set fire to systems and sometimes even leaders themselves… maybe not literally, but I can definitely own that in my shadow there have been moments of wanting to at least spit fireballs at leaders through a few well-chosen words. Even as I write and digest this, I can feel different Metasoul aspects of mine that live in different dimensions and eras but have been a part of some major moments in the world’s history, including wars and also the co-founding of different dimensional mystery schools such as Avalon or at least its early stages… at any rate, this spitfire way of approaching what’s happening and has happened globally feels like it actually comes from a much deeper core wound inside of my Metasoul that I and I’m sure many other Indigos are actually working at this very moment. It’s this feeling of, ‘I have to grow up (‘ascend’) HERE? In THIS place?? Where no one really listens to each other, let alone what I have to say?’ It has a bearing on our self-worth, a ring to it that hurts to feel as it hits deeper and deeper. We are feeling collective pain and angst and also our own. All souls everywhere, or at least those awakening now, have seen, felt,  experienced much through their own Metasoul experiences, let alone this life (which can be a loaded cannon for many too, in and of itself). To feel OUTraged is actually quite easy, but to bring it back inward and feel what’s going on at deeper levels of our being, THAT is the challenging part…

I feel that some of this global maturation process is about embracing our multi-dimensionality and our parts too. It is about really looking at ourselves, even and especially when tempted to blame someone or something on the outside of us. Transformation is an inside job, really. It is a course of owning that we aren’t quite ‘there’ yet in terms of being completely healed, feeling humbled enough to drop the self-righteousness and LOOK at what still needs the waters of self-love to be nourished and keep on growing up and opening out. I do feel this up and down feeling of being at times in a rapidly moving elevator heading one direction or another yet mostly UPward, is a necessary crucible for embracing deeper abundance and love. There is a pending expiration date on our smallness, a time when the toddler clothes or teen clothes just don’t fit anymore… it’s a time to keep moving into the more ‘adult’ skins that may feel as if they hang loosely for a while until they are fully grown into my our purifying and growing sacred human hearts. I’m still not quite sure what it means to truly ‘adult’ in this world, in an authentic way for my ‘age’. Yet more and more I can feel what it is not or does not feel to be at least for me and the stage I am at in my process and growth.

Maybe somehow, someday, it just all clicks into place. Maybe it never really does, or at least not for long. I’m okay with the unfolding mystery of that. I’m okay with even feeling this tension of the unknown, as I so trust there is another side to it AND I feel how the Divine doesn’t really know either. I feel in this with you too, you taking this into your own heart and soul, feeling it for yourself perhaps. We are creating all of what we want more of in every moment we choose to do so and in that, we are already inhabiting more and more of who we are truly meant to be and become too!

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.