Energies Invite Us Into A New Kind Of ‘Strength’ From Within

by Kalayna Colibri

Alessandro Sanna

Painting by Alessandro Sanna

Our self-doubts run deep within a river of rejection fears and wounds. This river rises more and more as these energies swirling around us come in to shake it up, bring it up, flush it out. Having days that feel like everything inside of you is against you is part of this process… there are parts of you that want you to feel them, finally, in their turmoil. They want to be loved in spite of their spiky armor and seen for more than just the pain they hold. They want you to show up for them, to show them that they have worth so that in your very being, you can feel this worth deeply, inhabit it, live by it, and never compromise it again. So much inside of you wants and aches for your advocacy from you to you, to stop the madness for each part of you and Metasoul aspect too.

The image of the ‘Heart Warrior’ is another superhero that parts of you want to lean into, yet it too is an archetype of invulnerability that pushes away love. Yes, there is a ‘hero’ inside of you that shows up somehow to feel YOU for the first time in the form of these precious parts of your being, heart, and soul, and yet the famed ferocity is for naught. It is only a picture of what is needed to cut through the din within, but not the sword of love. Love needs no sword. Love comes in anyway, sneaks under your fence posts, doesn’t need to shield itself and certainly doesn’t need a weapon. Love will win the wrestling match, even though parts of you try to prolong it for years, decades, centuries on end, pushing aside its mirrors, following only the habitual flow back into patterns of old that have yet to bring you the joy and fulfillment you’ve wanted.

There wouldn’t be a way to feel all there is to feel without a strengthening happening within – an energy that cannot be broken by any outside force and eventually no inside one either. It is a way to feel that all you’re feeling does have purpose and that the gauntlet you’re walking out is the training ground you need. This is a strong metaphor, yes, because this is what it feels like to truly be in process in these moments where so much is surfacing. It feels as tough as it is, as it has had to be. Parts of you have built walls to keep the flood waters of feeling out, yet here they are blowing apart your inner dams and bringing you to a new surface above it all where none of it is transcended, yet held, owned, taken responsibility for, and healed over different phases of life.

We are not only being cleared out by Ascension energies, but we are being strengthened, toned, given new legs to stand on too. What is moving needs to be replaced, not only by crystalline cells but also by a new stance, a brand new way of standing with a strength that doesn’t need battles to prove itself, only a continual advocacy for and with love. It’s an ongoing invitation to no longer seek and find reasons to go to war,  yet to feel and love the parts of you that want to and have become very good at it over the years.

It’s time to flow into the inner rivers of pain and wounding, to find yourself on a new shore, renewed and more alive than ever before. To let it all surface takes more strength than burying it and you can so trust that it’s all leading you somewhere safer, LOVElier, better.

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Pausing On ‘Doing’ To Feel And ‘BEcome’

by Kalayna Colibri

thepowerofthepausewhyyoushouldjustbe

Sometimes you need a break to reevaluate, to take stock, to go IN. The ‘charging ahead’ is too often fuelled by something that can ultimately leave you feeling unfulfilled, like all you do is put out energy and get what can feel like ‘nothing’ in return. And then sometimes you feel this consciously and other times you don’t… your conditioning may run so deep in relationship to ‘doing’ and ‘productivity’ in one way or another, that the ‘time’ and space to actually feel into how this is affecting you and those around you is challenging to find.

It can be so subtle too, this drive to ‘forge onward’ even though you feel tired and the need to recuperate can become buried by parts of you that are addicted somehow to the race of it all, the adrenaline, and the way in which it keeps you from feeling them. Overriding the need for rest is an act of violence towards the self, with suppression as the priority. Also, without the time for you, the time put out for others can be in-genuine and fuelled by something other than authentic love, care, and reverence.

The hardest part in this, is feeling the vulnerability underneath the desire to ‘keep going’… for parts of me and Metasoul aspects of mine too, it has been a fear of becoming invisible, irrelevant, like suddenly I won’t exist in people’s worlds if I don’t keep showing up despite needing time just for me, to become more visible to myself first.

How can someone else take me in if I am not taking myself in?

I get that in some ways, this is easy to manufacture… that is, until it isn’t. There are plenty of strategies out there for us to learn and adopt for ourselves, to make sure we are seen, heard, noticed. Yet, if this is all really about just a sincere ache for love deep within us, then why is the external still so leaned on as something more important than the internal, which is really the only place where we can find the love we MOST need? This is an ongoing question that I hold for myself and the answers are always unfolding, sometimes into deeper process around the core wounding underneath it.

I feel that somewhere inside of each of us, there is likely a core wound that is similar to this one, where parts of us don’t feel qualified to receive love unless we have a certain amount of output and engagement happening outside of ourselves. There seem to be so many layers to this and it’s intense to feel through, but the other side of it ultimately means more love than we have imagined so far, all coming from a place within that cannot run dry.

This writing today is a form of output, yet coming from a place inside of me that needs to share and wants to share… that wants to serve the love that I’m being served too, to keep the flow going. I can see and feel the difference inside of myself now, more and more. In some ways, I can still feel how there is a layer here of ‘I want to write something so that I don’t get forgotten about’ and yet even sharing that feels important for me and for you. I get to see this reflection as I write and share and you get to see and feel into it for yourself too. Ultimately my intention is to help create a world with more open-hearted love flow. A universe with more transparent, vulnerable leadership that can feel itself while also feeling and guiding others from its own well-spring of self-love first. I want to co-create with you, a world where wounded layers like this can be brought out to receive the ointment they need, without them staying buried in a place deep inside where they can’t be touched and can’t be reached by the love that wants to reach them…

There is a lot to do, a lot to show up for, but ultimately there is – even more – to be and become… and the ultimate ‘becoming’ is LOVE…

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Acknowledging, Feeling, Honouring And Healing Our Narcissism To Feel Real Compassion

by Kalayna Colibri

Look-Within

There are phases of very necessary self-focus. It’s good to dedicate a lot of time to personal process that has to do with YOU as your number one priority. Some of us don’t do this enough, some of us do it too much, and the balance of giving and taking is somehow very challenging to find and live into. Eventually, these phases of needing to go inward have a healthy sense of self-focus that has more of a balance of where the focus goes and comes from a growing emotional and spiritual maturity as we heal and allow in mirrors that help us map out where to go next. This takes a dedication though and the process of it all has not been shown to most of us before, so there is a lot to discover and rediscover as we go, allowing ourselves to get messy and sometimes trip along the way as the best way to learn.

Within our birth families, many of us have been the ‘black sheep’. Parts of us never felt understood and found ways to rebel. This took an enormous amount of self-care and focus, the best parts of us could conjure at the time, and necessarily so – these self-made nests of bedrooms and cozy family basements became our stages for self-exploration. We needed our forays into writing, artistic explorations, fantasy worlds, and eventually spiritual seeking and finding. We needed these phases of pushing away from the collective, from birth family, maybe even from peers and the church and/or education systems, we were wrapped up in. Parts of us started to refuse to go deeper into it… or decided to go in as deeply as possible, following along with another flavour of rebellion that may have meant following the rules only to one day snap and burn it all away. This took whatever ounces of love we could muster and find in our inner and outer worlds, drawing friendships and romances that were (and are), in the end, reflections of how we ultimately felt (and feel) about ourselves.

In order to push away from what we could feel was very much NOT us, or not what parts of us wanted to be, we had to encase ourselves in some degree of HEALTHY narcissism. This encasement may even have stretched well into our adult years, or, we had parts of us that decided to suddenly flip a switch and go far into the other direction, feeling ourselves as deep empaths that can quite powerfully feel others. Even in this though, is a layer of narcissism. There is a layer here of blaming ‘other’ for how and what you feel. There is a fixation on how ‘you’ are being affected by something or someone or somewhere, without truly feeling how and why others may be affected and that you may or may not have a part to play in this too.

Feeling and realizing this shatters our mirrors held up by our own hand, that only show us our self-made goodness, yet not the deeper, more compassionate goodness within that has true innocence and purity of intention. Our narcissism in our years of needing to rebel, needing to find an ‘us’ that could hold life, needing to navigate a spiritual path that we hope will open out to serving others, has been mostly about us and not actually about serving the world or the people in it. This is HARD to look at and feel. This is probably one of the toughest reflections of ourselves and how we’ve operated in this world to take in. True compassion, in my experience, can’t really come unless we are willing to see this piece inside of our shadows. Feeling all of this also frees us from our victimhood that again parts of us have rightfully needed to hold onto… We cannot truly find our power within unless we are willing to go here.

In terms of our Ascension, it could be that this is one of the biggest pieces for us to look at and heal with deep sobriety and dedication. If there is no interest in doing so, there is something to look at with that too, as it’s natural for our deep knowledge of our goodness to not want to have to go here, yet our ‘goodness’ can be a story that parts of us tell, meanwhile they don’t deeply feel they ARE good, until they have been able to feel the reasons why this is… the reasons why they hold this wounding. There is so much unworthiness within that this process brings us to. There are many layers here and each one brings us closer and closer to our higher hearts, our genuine Christ Consciousness, where we can and do shed tears for others, for the world, and then can bring it back inward in a healthy way too, to digest it all in authentic Divine connection and love, and in genuine soul and heart connection with others too.

Being real about not being able to feel or even care for others in a given moment, actually helps parts of us relax and can bring us almost immediately to a more compassionate place within. It also claims our responsibility and our desire to heal this block to serving and giving love. We have not had adequate modeling of how to truly be compassionate in this world. So much of it has been put on for the sake of self-image, it feels like. This has not been ‘bad’ for us though, we are just entering a phase of being invited deeper into it, to question it and ourselves more, and to really heal what we need to in order to be in LOVE in the truest sense. We already have all of the goodness inside of us that we need so as to truly feel and love this aspect of us that again has served us so well for so many years.

There is so much love on the other side of this mirror. So much love that wants to reach you, to flow to and through you. Love that wants to show itself in all of your relationships, in whatever ways it can. It is a love that is ever-purifying and incredibly deep, if only we can start to let it in and allow it to do its work. ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Restless Energies Within And Moving Into New Timelines Physically, Emotionally, Spiritually

by Kalayna Colibri

moving on

 

Forgotten, long-lost items are found once again. Finally coming around to cleaning those nooks and crannies where dust and old energies have gotten stuck. Moving on from one space and into another is a process for sure, one that happens with many emotional reactions as we let go of one phase and embrace another. There are physical body reactions too as we enter a new space where old energy needs to be cleared and we feel the clearing too of our ‘old’ space that once held our energy to the brim and beyond. It is a shakedown of sorts, loosening up and releasing something that no longer fits us on a deeper level, though in many cases parts of us may still have attachments to what we moving on from. Sometimes this ‘letting go’ is and needs to be an ongoing process for a while, or a process that ebbs and flows, may seem to be over, but eventually comes back around again. On a soul level, it is natural to want to move on from one place to another, especially as we discover and desire to be in more of our soul bigness, purpose, and power.

This journey of packing up, leaving behind, exploring the new, is something we’re all experiencing now in different waves and on different levels. Some of us are stepping into the new, having many reactions we can’t quite seem to sort through, and then retracting, trying to go back into an old space that has now expired for us in many ways. The picture that comes, is of a growing toddler trying to wear his or her baby clothes again because they were so comfortable once upon a time! This is such a tough process and letting go is never quite as easy as some make it sound, especially if you’ve signed up to truly feel yourself in every moment along the way.

These last two weeks have been full of movement for me personally and this movement process has taken place on a personal, soul, and even physical level. It has been a phase that started with saying ‘yes’ to several new possibilities, trusting that they would take me somewhere new and good, despite the challenge of inhabiting this. Sure enough too, after the ‘yes’ came reactions and a part of me wanting to contract and maybe collapse it all in a way, though she also felt how this would all open out eventually, even with her level of tension. This is a part of me I got to reunite with, actually,  like something that got buried under the bed or dresser so long ago that you only find it when you’re moving somewhere new! She surfaced and I could feel her reactions with her and as the dust settles around the ‘new’ still, I am continuing to feel her around it all – her fears, her joys, and her vision of possibilities too. It has also been a couple weeks of letting go of certain connections with other people which is probably the hardest aspect of this phase to be with.

I feel as if we’re living in a restless, boisterous phase globally in the moment and it does feel challenging to find our stillness within while walking it all out. It is an exciting time while so much is being revealed to us and inside of that are also some hard-to-swallow truths. It is a time where we are being energized to really create the new as we go and not wait for permission from outside of us to take the steps we need to in order to really be in this. It is a time of trust in life, ourselves and the Divine, which is, of course, a process in and of itself while we learn what real trust even is… making it so important to take as much personal space as necessary, to breathe and digest and check-in with what we’re feeling on every level of our being.

If you’re feeling the energy of needing to create new timelines and being in your creativity in whatever capacity comes to you, you’re so not alone and the restlessness is actually there to serve you. It would be hard to not feel restless right now and it may come in waves for you, as it seems to be doing for me. We can all rest assured though, that we ARE being moved to something new that we are co-creating constantly, consciously and unconsciously, and this is becoming revealed to us more and more in each moment we say ‘yes’ and claim the next step.

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

The Sacred ‘Mess’ Of Your Healing Path

by Kalayna Colibri

follow me, find your mess

“Come follow me, and you will find your mess” – a biblical quote reframe, as offered to me by Yeshua

~

There’s a light up ahead, held by someone who has done much work. Someone who beams a beacon of hope and love and possibility. Their energy invites you in and also invites you to follow them. They don’t energize being ‘better’ or ‘holier’ than you, they only seem to energize that they are somehow ‘ahead’ and want to vulnerably lead you into more possibilities, healing and growth for yourself.

Maybe you choose to follow because the warmth of the heart cord between you is incredible and familiar and not like anything you’ve ever felt before in this life. You want to be near this person, relate closely with them, and yet you can’t quite relate to them yet. They feel ‘close’ to you in a sweet sense, yet they almost feel like something that isn’t from this world. How could that be? They certainly seem human enough. You conclude that somehow they ARE human, just living in a different sort of dimension than you’re used to. Wow. THAT’S interesting because the dimension you’ve been living in feels old, stale, essentially loveless to you more and more these days as you continue to awaken to the universe within and outside of you.

As you continue to follow this person up ahead, you feel the infusions of light and love that they offer. You feel too, the realness they hold about their personal reality – how they or parts of them feel or are reacting in given moments. You can feel them holding this reality as sacred, though sometimes the energy feels intense to parts of you that you haven’t fully felt yet. What they offer to themselves and to you seems like ‘love’, but it’s a different love than you’ve experienced, as most of the time those around you refuse to be ‘real’ or current with what they’re feeling or experiencing. Or, on the other hand, they dump energy and emotion on you and in the space they hold with you, feeling like a victim and playing a victim’s role, effectively and skillfully drawing up a case that backs up their claim to perpetual victimhood. You’ve never had this contrast be illuminated for you before and it stirs something inside of you. Parts of you may start to feel victimized to this new frequency of love that is so illuminating, as it shows you too the ways in which you have been and held this same energy of co-dependently being in relationship with others and not deeply maturing emotionally, though you may ‘seem’ mature to most others in your life. You are experiencing how this love is holding up a mirror for you, and wow, there’s actually quite a bit of shadow there to feel!

This being you chose to follow encourages you to keep feeling it all. WHAT?! I have to FEEL it all?! You begin to feel a part of you is getting overwhelmed by the volume of what there is to feel, and you feel a bit surprised by what is still there that you thought you had healed by now. You feel the weight and the mess of it all… the entanglements within your relationships, past and present, the knots living inside of your heart and soul, the shadow pieces and parts of you popping up now to be witnessed, felt, held, healed. It’s a lot. Sometimes it feels like ‘too much’… and your new leader invites you to just ‘hold on tight!’ while the winds whip by and through you, inviting you to step into them despite the swirling chaos inside of you.

This is what it means to be on a path where you find that ‘mess’ within. That ‘mess’ that you learn to love as you trust that it’s leading you somewhere NEW. Amidst the mess, you get to decide whether or not you want to continue walking into it. You get to decide in every single moment, what you want next. And you get to decide whether or not you really trust this process and are ready for it.

~

In SoulFullHeart, we don’t hold a grandiose or lofty picture of who we are as spiritual and emotional teachers, leaders and facilitators. The work we’ve done and continue to do is challengings and sometimes downright hard to be in, though the payoff is incredible, as the growth and consciousness expansion is exponential. If anything we are here to guide you if you can lean into what we offer and embody.

Choosing to be around us in any way or form offers some sort of challenge to your being, just because of this way of life we embody. Choosing to be with us here in community, well, that pushes up even more… yet your readiness is something you get to gauge in every moment, even as ‘mess’ comes up from within and seems to be playing out outside of you too.

Following any sort of spiritual and/or emotional healing path should push up quite a bit inside of you. Even if you are not drawn to SoulFullHeart, whatever path you may choose will very likely give you a lot to feel and heal. There is no way, in my experience, to avoid or fully transcend what we signed up to heal in this life. Embracing our messes, no matter where we are in our path or what teacher(s) or leader(s) we may choose to follow or learn from, gives us this gift of finding our way to deeper and deeper decisions about the playout of our lives and how and who we most want to be.

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

You Are Anything But Separate – with Archangel Metatron

by Kalayna Colibri

connected to universe

Feeling this incoming message with Archangel Metatron has been a sweet way for me to step into my latest crucible(s). I’m finding myself in the thick of simultaneously going in deeper with SoulFullHeart and also going in deeper to another online teaching job that is more challenging and requires more planning and presence than the one I’ve had for over 2 years now. He reminded me the other day, that even though this is taking up a lot of energy right now, that it is STILL connected to the Divine and ultimately to SoulFullHeart and my soul and heart calling too… he offers that it’s important to let in that no matter what we’re doing or being in any sort of role or job, we are still connected, somehow, to our hearts, souls and the Divine.

~

Even if you tried, you couldn’t separate from your Divinity and your built-in drive to ascend higher and higher.

Even though you’re working at a ‘job’ that feels unfulfilling, undesirable, you ARE connected to your heart and soul purpose and your soul IS working it all out in every moment. You can’t help but move on when it is time to. You may even opt to leave soon. No matter the choice made, you are held, you are connected, you are moving forward.

So much angst, so much anxiety, so much depression, it all comes from the walls you’ve built against feeling connected, and the walls you’ve inherited from cultural and birth family conditioning. You are NOT these walls, these strong reactions, this intense pain. You are here and now because somehow you need to be, though that can be hard to really let in and feel. You need to be here until you don’t, until you decide it’s time to move on, until your parts are ready to lean into you enough that you can lead them into something NEW.

The love that you are draws experiences you need like a magnet. It wants to experience MORE of itself, letting in MORE love flow to and from others and to and from self. It wants to hold you in and to that self-made (soul-made) promise that this would be your ultimate and highest quest, leading you to genuine service of love with others. It is inevitable… love can ONLY return to love, for the umbilical cord is always connected to that ever-unfolding life force and ultimate source of soul and heart nutrition.

At times love needs you to express it and YOU through your 3D jobs, your 3D focusses…. it is a gift to help show you how you can still inhabit this density without losing touch with your heart in the process. With enough practice, you bring in the higher frequencies of 4D and 5D and beyond, integrating them, not leaving them or separating from them, no matter how hard it all feels to let in (and understandably so!)

WE believe in you and we are here with you. We are cheering you on, we are buying tickets for the front row seat to watch how it all unfolds for you. We reach out and touch your heart in every single moment and maybe you feel it in some moments and not others. This is okay. This is still an expression of what you need. And sooner or later these moments of letting in become far more frequent, no matter what you are doing, thinking, saying or BEing!

There is much love here for you, always and in ALL WAYS.

With the deepest, widest, most profound love,

Archangel Metatron (and co.)

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Weathering The ‘Perfect Storms’ Of Life

by Kalayna Colibri

 

heart storm

 

The perfect life conditions offer us the ‘perfect storm’ to feel what we need to feel.

Parts of us pop-up like pop tarts in a hot toaster, when life offers us the right circumstances, the necessary temperature, for them to come up and out. If parts aren’t ready to ask for you to feel them, you won’t be able to tap into their reality. It’s like waiting for apples to ripen on the tree before you can pick them. A premature picking of unripe fruit does not encourage the digestive system to flow. So too with the digestive system in your emotional body…

This perfect storm of emotional reactions surfacing that were once well-buried or ‘handled’ differently (or not at all), are a tidal wave that can feel like overwhelm and craziness, yet sooner than you realize you wash ashore on a new beach, where you feel and meet a NEW you and feel more joy than before, more settled inside of yourself than before, though your heart may still feel raw for a time. It’s a process of becoming BIGGER than the fears and the resistances, by going through them, feeling them, being with them, not BEING them or all-out transcending them.

You couldn’t have come here to this place of intense feeling inside of you without life lining up the path for it. Even when you feel knocked off balance and like everything is akimbo, this is actually the perfect gift to get to know something deeper inside of yourself, to love yourself more on the other side of deep-seated tension and reactivity. There is a trust that is built inside of you, that can weather these storms and in fact may jump wholeheartedly into them, trusting where they are taking you next.

During these intense waves of feeling as if we aren’t in control, that something or someone else is driving the bus, you might want to write it off as an ‘entity’ or it being imposed on you by ‘bad energies’ or ‘Archons. It’s not that these things and beings and energies don’t exist, but they can be used by parts of you as a scapegoat for something you need to take responsibility for inside of you and something that actually wants and needs you to go IN and feel what’s going on on the inside, not on the outside…

Life’s ‘perfect storms’ rock the boat in a huge, impactful way, and yet even when parts may feel shipwrecked, it really is just another path to your ultimate wholeness and healing and your triumphant return to the love that you are. ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Gifts And Challenges Of Life-Changing Energies Coming In

by Kalayna Colibri

butterfly sunset

It’s okay to let go of your handrails…

In fact, it may be time to do so. The love you have waiting for you is what you’re letting go into now. The unfamiliar will become familiar, will become more known to you as you move forward. The fall is not long once you’ve let go. Parts of you anticipate and think it will be, but that’s not the plan at all. There is so much more to let in once what parts of you grip hard to is let go of. It may be a process of moving one single finger at a time as the grasp loosens and the next step forward into the changes coming in is stepped into. This may be what’s needed and that’s fine… charging through change can create more chaos than you may need right now, but in another way, that may be just what you need too.

These foggy changing times bring momentum but invite us to stay in the moment… these energies coming in now are supporting us to feel our next choice points and to feel all there is to feel in the process of making these choices, inhabiting these changes, and finding our way into this newly emerging life phase and overall timeline. It seems these shifts can be subtle at first, but then once that first step is taken, it can feel suddenly like you’re riding a roller coaster or even a speeding car. I should qualify that and say that parts of us feel it this way, while our soul actually has a deep trust that is leading us. There can be a difficulty in the surrender to it all… there are attachments on different levels of our being and in different parts of us, to how things have been up ’til now, whether or not our life’s circumstances are ideal in many (or any) ways.

We do NEED change. It offers us grist for more self-discovery and healing process and celebration of how far we’ve come too. It offers us more ground for growth, especially if we seem to have ‘mastered’ the old ground, to the degree that we can feel how maybe we’re outgrowing it now – it has become too comfortable and kNOwn, perhaps. You may feel consciously that you are a big fish in a little pond too. Change presses what’s uncomfortable, wounded, in distrust, in pain, in separation, up to the surface to be felt and held. It has a way of creating a chaotic windstorm at times, that can be made much more intense by parts of you that are in a panic and either don’t want to be felt or cannot be felt by you for some reason. Change is really the best catalyst to encourage us to feel ourselves. The smoothest transitions in life usually come when there is a whole lot of surrender to a lack of ultimate control, while still paying attention to and moving along your own chess pieces in each step, though even doing this very thing can still bring up surprises and more to feel.

Trusting the rumbles that love wants to send through our life and our current relationship to people, geography, ourselves, the Divine, and even life and love itself, is the biggest invitation and the hardest to inhabit for parts of us. This is when a process becomes so valuable, as we allow in these energies that want to move us into our next places and phases of growth and expanding LOVE consciousness… we cannot always control the depth of change that is being invited into our lives, but we can control the degree to which we are willing to look at the whole picture, to feel all elements of it, to be with the challenges and the bonuses, and to find our way through by allowing ourselves to be IN ourselves and our hearts around it all.

These times of feeling like a whirlwind has picked you up and it’s hard to tell where you’ll land, are some of the toughest phases and also the biggest opportunities for expansion of our consciousness and our overall scope too, it challenges how we see and inhabit life and also how we see and inhabit and love ourselves. There are many gifts here, though the reality of the challenge needs to be felt deeply too. In fact, one feeds the other and when they are allowed to dance inside of us in this way, that is when we pop out the other side, feeling so sacredly different than we ever could have before. We’re on our way, no matter what, to a higher dimension in every way.

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Arising Journey Of Opening Your Heart

by Kalayna Colibri

heart-opening

When your heart first starts to open, you can feel the edges. You can feel the aperture widening, letting more light out and in, moving love to and fro in waves and perhaps in stops and starts. You can feel the emotions that come up as part of this sacred process, the protests inside from parts of you that may have fears about your heart opening and the ride this will take them on. You will begin to FEEL your parts, maybe for the first time, and all of the storms they’ve weathered in the name of ‘love’ as they’ve ‘known’ it to be or thought it to be, or assumed it to be based on their conditioning and experience. They may be unsure that love can be clean, can be pure, can be something that keeps flowing without end.

As your heart opens more, you feel the healing that allows it to do so. You feel a celebration of the work you’ve done to get here, though it may also feel as if you have pretty far to go, especially as more oil is brought up from parts of you to be felt deeper still. You begin to trust this process more and that this flushing out is important for you and your life yet also for the world too. Your higher/Cosmic heart, your Christ Consciousness starts to become activated in this way, though it may still remain somewhat out of your reach, especially as reactions bubble up not only in your heart but in your very soul. The sacredness of this can be felt, though maybe not strongly just yet, for so much of this pain you’re feeling through can keep the programming of ‘mess is NOT sacred’ alive thriving within your being, still. This is the hardest part in a way, because the mess is what you need and on some level you surrender to that, though consciously you feel as if your world is turning upside down and you’re questioning so much about who you’ve been so far in this life and how you’ve related to everything and everyone in it. This is your emotional awakening phase, even though spiritually you may have awakened long ago. The bridge between these two strata of being can start to be made conscious, yet the lines seem stark in contrast because you are having to FEEL so much in YOU that may have long been buried and even covered over BY the spiritual…

Then the aperture of your heart widens still more… you begin to notice that your ‘messes’ created by parts of you that are needing them in order to be felt more fully and deeply, make way for more joy and that the joy seems to last longer and longer before more oil comes up to be felt and moved through, if not healed. The sacredness in every millimeter of process is becoming more obvious to you and allowing yourself to be IN process feels like the best sort of ‘me’ time you can give yourself the space to have. You feel celebrations as your movements inside of you begin to shift the world outside of you. You draw relationships that are more aligned with who you are and are becoming, though maybe these relationships don’t feel totally like ‘soul family’ just yet… or maybe they do and you’re drawn to go in deeper with them in conscious community or at least sacred bonds. They’re likely doing the same work you’re doing, feeling parts of themselves, healing deeply, taking the time and space needed in order to breathe, be, become, and above all, feel, heal and grow. You could also be drawing potential romantic partners along the way, with more heart and soul resonance with you than you’ve experienced thus far.

These new relationships are the end to your ‘lone wolf’ phase, though you still need and want the time for YOU and your parts and soul aspects that have now become so beloved to you and you to them. As you say ‘yes’ to community and intimate bonds with others, you feel this begin to widen your heart even more, sometimes to the point where it feels about to burst with colour and light and LOVE. You feel oil come up still, yet this time it feels different, because you’re noticing it more consciously, being with it sooner, and you have these relationships around you with so much powerful love transaction between you that their reflections of you go into you and really help you see where to go next inside of you at a manageable rate and pace that before this time, may have been overwhelming in moments. Sometimes the hardest processes are actually about letting more love in from and with others in this space you’re in now. You’re connecting with yourself, with guides, with your beloveds regularly and your spirituality integrates more and more with your daily life, lighting you up with soul purpose and soul gifts that have come alive for you in a new way. This leads you to more oneness experiences, that you now get to feel through a greater sense too of Conscious Duality and why we need both the dual and non-dual as our awakenings open out and our growth keeps moving forward. Ascension becomes not a struggle, but an embraced and beloved process too, intertwined with all of this, this entire process and all you ARE.

The journey never ends from here, though it always deepens as new phases of BEing open up and move you through challenges. You have become the sacred human you’ve always wanted to become, somewhere inside of you. And you wouldn’t trade this journey for the world, for it has become so YOURS to claim and you do so with a love flow in your heart that couldn’t have come to you before. Feeling and claiming your sacred YOU space brings you back to you, your true home and the one place you can ever fully belong. The one place where it ALL can heal, and where your former sense of separation and abandonment wounds can be transformed, transmuted, healed. Welcome home…. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Wants, Desires And Needs: Essential Aspects Of Our Ascension

by Kalayna Colibri

desires

My ever-healing heart and the energy of Mary Magdalene, want to share this invitation with you today…

You are so beloved…why are you afraid to desire?

You are created for adventures… why have parts of you, soul aspects of you, decided that it’s safer, cleaner, not to claim your needs and wants?

Do you, arising sacred human heart, feel how this is what keeps you from entering the processes you most need and want to, in your soul? Those sacred upheavals of emotion and soul bursts that show you what you need to feel and heal next? These feelings of ‘I will never get what I want’ are actually a shout crowding a gentler whisper that says, ‘I’m afraid I actually might get what I want…’.

Want. Desire. Need. These are loaded words, oft kept in a box, labeled ‘danger!’ and rightly so… this Pandora’s Box is a life changer, the love you eventually can’t ignore though parts of you may try so hard to do so. There is nothing wrong with the delay of feeling what you most want, for you are wired to want MORE anyways. You are in gratitude for what you have, yes, yet this gratitude needs more space for breathing too, for expanding into a bigger heart container that also holds desires for more depth of relationship, a more suitable geography, an impeccable soul and heart romance, soul friendships within conscious community, challenges to just keep going, moving, healing, diving in… Gratitude cannot really be used to suppress your desires, but can instead be used to enrich and enliven them.

Your most sacred terrain of change is in your healing heart. No true and lasting changes can be made on the outside without the inside leading the way. New wants, needs and desires rise up from process, as an aspect of feeling parts and soul fragments of you, as something to keep you heading along your path. They are meant to shift and change as you are, yet this shifting and changing need not be a dulling of your sharpness of wanting, your ability to create and co-create. If anything, it sharpens you further, clarifying with greater depth and breadth what it is you most deeply want NOW and NOW. If you are feeling yourself, if you are in a healing process, you need not worry about your desires being over-indulgent or false or harmful. As your heart heals, so do your motivations in every area of life, until life has no ‘areas’ or ‘segments’ or especially ‘compartments’ but is one life lived in and according to LOVE… where does LOVE want me to flow today? What does it want to illuminate for me in this phase, in this very moment?

The deeper fears of desiring and wanting, live under the resistance to feel them… they are the vulnerability of feeling that nothing in life is guaranteed and yet if your heart truly wants it, the path aligns to make it happen WITH you, not for or to you. The desire is the beacon, the light at the end of the sometimes long, long tunnel. It is the picture, the double-vision you can hold fast to while walking among hot coals of sometimes shadowy process grounds. It is the warm voice beckoning you to keep moving onward by turning inward, seeing for the first time that this voice is yours.

We are full-up of expectations from others that have somehow become our own. We are passed down legacies of withdrawal from life and ultimately from LOVE. We are given only the tools necessary to keep being safe and sound and secure, not loving ourselves through vows of cherishment and self-awe. This means deflecting that which doesn’t match a much duller picture, sacrificing dreams for ‘knowns’. Gratitude comes in the moments we realize that we are exactly where we need to be while on the path of the adventure to what we most deeply want. Gratitude is covered by inherited brambles when we wait alongside the path and don’t choose to step out onto it. Synchronicities send over invitations to keep walking, moving, remembering, letting more love in, yet we will only accept the invite if we are ready to recognize that this messenger is who we’ve been waiting for.

What is it that your heart most desires and needs for you and from you in this moment, on this day? Feel this, bring it inward to your heart with curiosity and love, as a parent to a growing child or a gardener to a blooming rose. Let yourself be taken, fascinated by your wants and needs. Allow in some moments of feeling all there is to feel and see what new places, on this very next step of your burgeoning, ever-ascending life, open up for you next. ❤

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.