Seeing, Feeling, Healing The ‘Past’: Mother Mary Transmission

By Kalayna Colibri

This came through this morning as I connected with Mother Mary… a face of the Divine Mother that is key to helping us become love ambassadors to all parts of us and all beings around us. I felt this for myself, as a way to forgive what has been and move forward into more of what and who I want to be, and I felt to share it, because Mary offers so many beautiful frequencies of love and forgiveness that are so so needed now and always. ❤️

“To you, and all parts and Metasoul Aspects of you:

Starting from a young age in this very lifetime, you’ve only ever done the best you could with what you’ve been consciously and unconsciously taught by birth family, close friends, your pursuit of love and intimacy, and your pursuit of spiritual fulfillment, too.

You’ve been invited to fire-walk through the shadows, the challenging phases of figuring out what was theirs and what is actually yours in your heart and soul and BEing… a necessary and sacred process of death and rebirth, and sometimes a very painful one.

You are forgiven for all expressions of not-love you’ve had to walk out towards yourself and others in this process… beyond ‘forgiven’ actually, as you are infinitely and intimately loved by the Divine that holds you and is within you.

You’ve needed to push, to grapple, to tumble and fall. You’ve needed these messy times of awakening and realizing what you want and don’t want, sometimes without much explanation… sometimes hurting or maybe harming others in the process of feeling and finding your boundaries, or even in the holding on to relationships that are no longer resonant.

You’ve led yourself to this very place you are in now, and if this is not a place of deep fulfillment, you’re invited to feel this, to feel the discomfort, to feel the loneliness, to let all of this alchemize your next steps inward and outward. You’re invited, always, into your next steps, which are always leading you home: to the heart and soul that holds you, and the love that is always surrounding you.

Your next choices are arising now… they are small or they are big, yet the impact is the same. You can choose to feel and be felt, to arise and become real, and you can choose to feel and heal the past so you can live in your new present… the one that will always arise as you do, as you pursue it from inside, as you feel the seeds of what you most truly want being planted in the nourishing soil of feeling and healing.

With much love for you, your journey, and everything inside of you…

Mother Mary ~ “

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Being An Ambassador Of Love To The Wounded Masculine

“Three percent of men aged 18-24 felt that the term ‘masculinity’ meant kindness. One percent felt it meant respectfulness, honesty or supportiveness.”

This was from a report shared in Men’s Health magazine in the UK (thanks, Andy Bowker). It signifies how the current Man Meme as had an impact on the health of men in both the UK and US. One can extrapolate out to other countries as well just by feeling the conditions and geopolitics of other regions. It revealed how a disproportionate number of men commit suicide before the age of 45, and beyond that the largest cause is heart dis-ease.

The inaccessibility to our deepest feelings, under the rage, depression, and anxiety, has caused a schism in the well-being of the collective male heart and soul. The allegiance to a particular set of ‘norms’ has created a swell of unfelt emotion that eventually has its unfortunate consequence.

The term ‘toxic masculine’ has made its way into the narrative and there has been a backlash that has only fueled a sense of attack against manhood. I frankly do not like the term as it only serves to create more divisiveness.

What I want to feel is what prevents/influences this healthy need to express our feelings as men. For me, it was a fear of being seen as weak, girly, or gay. As I sought to heal this pain inside of me, I needed to confront the wounded masculine parts of me that held these judgements toward myself. A collusion between an inner protector and inner punisher. I needed to act as an ambassador to these parts of me that eventually led to my wounded feminine.

When you dig down deep enough as a man, you eventually get to her. She is alone, afraid, and tired. This inaccessibility and suppression of her can lead to some pretty unfortunate health consequences. As men, we cannot continue to ignore this innate side of our human nature. This is the balance we need to find so that we can feel more free in our masculine humanity and less confined to a fear loop.

Raphael Awen and I will be talking about this and more sacred masculine topics in our upcoming Facebook live stream this Wednesday at 2:22pm PST. It will be available on my feed afterward as well as on our YouTube channel, SoulFullHeart Experience. We look forward to your participation and engagement about this journey of the sacred masculine awakening.

For more on the sacred masculine with myself, Raphael, and Jelelle, you can check out this video: https://youtu.be/X6ueoUK4aDo

I am honored to be on this journey with all the courageous hearts and souls that have chosen to go within.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Removing An ‘Implant’ With Love

By Kalayna Colibri

I laid on the table my beloveds had set up for our energy healing practice, feeling in my heart that something was getting ready to move. Something emotional and spiritual too that was impacting my physical body as just the day before I was laid up in a deep self care space nursing intense head pain on the right side of my skull. I felt in moments like my skull was being split down the middle or like I had just been bludgeoned in the head. I could feel now that the pain had mostly subsided, some of the more emotional reasons for it could surface and I knew I had the sacred space to let that surface and be felt.

Gabriel saw the object first. He was holding his hands behind my head, giving me his soothing energy that I know so well now… and as he felt into my head pain, through his 3rd eye he saw an object sitting on it. Jelelle contributed then, offering that she saw a visor of some kind. I immediately could see it too and felt the weight of it on my temples. We felt together that it had become somehow more activated on the right side, my masculine side, but was shorting out, hence the pain. I felt how this visor was made of steel, was kind of rusty, had served its original purpose of filtering incoming Ascension codes when I needed it to but that it wasn’t needed any longer and I was now big enough to hold and integrate what wanted to come in.

We invited my Gatekeeper, Seerah, to come forward then. She immediately offered insight, validation, and was fully ready to help remove it, agreeing that it was time to move on without it. Together, Gabriel, Jelelle, Seerah, and I, unlatched it from behind my head and took it off. In that same moment, all of my head pressure was gone. I felt much clearer, lighter, and ready to let in — whatever that could mean going forward.

This object, some would say, was an ‘implant’. We could call it that, because that is essentially what it was, but I don’t relate to implants or objects in our fields or bodies as bad… they have had their purpose and have been there for a reason. Your own 4D Gatekeeper aspect or 3D Inner Protector part of you has kept these objects in place because it was the most loving thing to do. I needed for some reason to temper my own capacity to download the many light and love codes that wanted to come in and integrate, to help me embody them not just know about them in a mental way. I had to be in a place when my Gatekeeper felt it was time and that I was ready for that visor to come off. And so it did… with love and appreciation.

During phases of 4D awakenings and realizing what has been lurking and operating behind the curtain of 3D life (or the ‘Matrix’) often so much fear is understandably stirred up. This fear breeds judgements, a feeling of something being done TO you or parts of you, without consent or freewill choices or even your awareness at all most of the time. It’s intense to wake up to the reality that there are these objects or ‘implants’ in your field that have been influencing or impeding your awakening and in some cases your deepest capacity to heal. Yet the timing of even awakening to them is sacred and comes when it comes, as does the time to remove them. Every time I have removed an object from my field or body, I have felt first the reason it was there… felt the parts of me that have an aversion to it, and still found a way to love it for what it once offered even while loving myself into the next going on phase without it. I’ve found that doing this sort of process this way keeps me from feeling kickback physically or emotionally, as every step to removing the object is felt and held with love, not anguish, anxiety, or fear.

Becoming an ambassador of love even to these things that arise as you continue to heal is practice for the bigger picture of being a love ambassador to the many shadowy pieces inside and in the collective. It’s part of the bigger invitation to keep shifting from fear into love and to continue to feel the release and surrender into love as the bigger container and reason for everything you’ve walked out and been through… even and especially during those times when this feels like the hardest thing to do. ❤️

Much love. ❤️

This photo is of Gabriel and me removing the object, starting from behind my head.

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Sacred Masculine/Feminine Balancing Act

2/22…

A beautiful number in and of itself. It emanates grace and balance like two dancers in a divine synchronistic union. It feels like a day where we want to stop and smell the roses for a while. Get in touch and in tune with ourselves and others. Connect within and without. I feel that today we are meant to become more aware of the polarity that exists in our sacred heart. The masculine and feminine in both men and women alike.

Coming out of the Supermoon energies I feel the sacred feminine is seeking more balance with Her counterpart masculine. For women, this can be in the form of what we call the Inner Protector. An energetic consciousness that was formed to help fit into and guard against a wounded masculine dominated world. This Inner Protector can be felt in this role and given the heart space to heal and allow the natural and authentic feminine energy to flow and express.

For men,however, the relationship to the masculine can be a bit more complicated ironically enough. For those that have found themselves to be more drawn to the feminine pole throughout life as I have, the feminine within holds a key to embodying and balancing the masculine within.

I know! Let that one in!

Through our sensitivity, our proclivity toward women as friends, lovers, and romantic partners, and even a felt resistance to anything too feminine, i.e. girly, we are actually feeling this feminine consciousness inside of us. We came here with it. We chose it as a means of understanding and experiencing this polarity. Not all men chose this. Others chose to go more into the wounded masculine for that brand of experience. Either way, the feminine is still a big part of this divine balancing act.

Next Wednesday, February 27, Raphael Awen and I will be holding a livestream event where we will be touching on this and other themes related to the sacred human man and his healing journey. We will talk about how these aspects of us are connected to, felt, and integrated to offer us a more holistic understanding of us as divine masculine beings. Women are very much encouraged to join and participate as your perspectives and desires are beacons in this process. We will post more in the days to follow.

In the meantime, I highly recommend taking a rest stop in your daily routine today to just sit, take a walk, or take a bath.

Yes…even you guys!

Listen to some music or take in one of Jelelle’s numerous meditations to connect with your inner world. Many blessings to you on this Day Of Two.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Loving Others Is A Sacred Opportunity

by Kalayna Colibri

Loving others isn’t a mandate. It’s not something we are required to do. Nothing can magically force us to love each other… and the truth is, we actually can’t fully love each other until we have love overflowing from within.

Loving others, then, is a byproduct. It’s something we will organically feel flowing between us the more we love ourselves.

Loving ourselves is not a mandate either… but an open and constant invitation that we can choose to accept and journey into, or choose to walk away from.

There are many ways we can learn to love ourselves so we can love others deeper with more genuine appreciation and respect, even reverence. One way is to be with and love deeply ALL parts of you. There are so many in there, waking up and wanting love. They may have some funny ways of asking for love, such as through self-ridicule, criticism, depression, or anxiety… but they want love just the same.

If you can learn to love them, in everything they are, you WILL come to love yourself… and then, in this same frequency and consistency, you WILL come to love others in ways never taught or imagined before, even when the relationship ground can’t transact or find mutual nourishment and you need to love them with healthy boundaries in place.

Even though the path to deeply loving myself is challenging sometimes, I have always found it so worth it… it’s worth all that you’re asked to feel by and with love… it’s worth looking at the darker parts or the ones that can express with darkness where they don’t care or have much compassion for others or, firstly, for themselves. It’s worth it, because in my experience, the possibility of transacting and being IN deep love with others who are also on this journey is incredible. Unreal! Nourishing beyond what you’ve thought of as nourishing. Every time my heart opens more to myself, I feel it open more towards others. And that feels much better than any past efforts made to falsely love others or love them only for what I or parts of me could get from them.

Such is the depth of healing possible. Such is the way of true and real love. And these are the possibilities for deeper unity and love transaction in our Sacred Human family. ❤️

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Supermoon’s Invitation: “Just Feel”

By Raphael Awen

The best advice I can find for myself in navigating these Supermoon energies is ‘just feel’.

My whole life journey can be seen from a perspective of seeing what I might call my ‘pre-feeling’ era, my ‘feeling’ era of all that was backed up and denied, and then to now, my ‘living in feeling’ era. Sometimes, those patterns repeat themselves in a current week or even a day, so it’s not like it’s a watertight completion of any phase, but I can say, for me, that my life is very different having moved through these phases of orientation to life.

I recall sharing with a trusted space holder during my intense phase of deep feeling about an attraction that I was feeling to a woman and what feelings were being pushed up because of it. He took all I shared into his heart and replied ‘just feel it’. That advice rings in my heart today as the most valued words he ever shared with me. It might sound a bit diminutive at first, but really, the opposite is true. Oftentimes, we mentalize a mountain of possible scenarios, reactions, even talking about feelings, while we are still on our way to actually feeling that something.

I can say from where I live and breathe today, that I’ve given my whole life to wanting to really feel all there is to feel. Leaving the once treasured shores of my pre-feeling era, I found like Job said in the Bible, ‘that which I greatly feared has come upon me’ meaning that, there was good reason behind my era of not-feeling. To open myself to feeling was to tear down my constructed life as I knew it, subjecting myself to all manner of unpredictable change. I found however that the waves were self-lovingly manageable, that somehow feeling had its own super intelligence built in to hold all chaos that was pushed up in the process, even while in the middle of any meltdowns. It actually finally felt really good to feel, even if the feeling was a kind of hell.

The Supermoons offer an amped up portal to our feelings. If someone is in a pretty much watertight place of not-feeling, they’ll drift through the phase without much awareness, and just see it as random circumstance – ‘good days, bad days, we all have ‘em’ kind of picture. For those who’ve let go of their own personal not-feeling orientation to life, then these energies push up a what can feel like a ‘shit-ton of shit to feel’ as a reactive part of us might put it, feeling some victimized by the waves, possibly resenting the loss of the good old days where life just was, without all this chaos of feeling.

As I earned my stripes, bumps, and bruises in this lifestyle choice of feeling first, I found that the advice to just feel, can be applied to any and every reaction along the way. I found I could feel the part of me in mourning for the loss of what it felt were better less conscious days, if that’s what came up to feel. I found I could feel and be conscious of any wave of anxiety or depression moving through any part of me and feel what was underneath it. I can feel today the part of me asking questions about what this Supermoon of energy has yet to open me out to.

Whether it’s intense body pain reactions, huge rumbles in relationships, career careening out of control, or anything else it feels like the Supermoon is throwing at you, I believe we are simply and foremostly being asked to just feel.

‘Just feel’ will take us where we need to go with all the self loving debriefings and digestions right on time.

Jelelle Awen and I will be live streaming today at 1:11 pm – Vancouver City Time (PDT) on our SoulFullheart page: https://www.facebook.com/soulfullheartwayoflife/

Raphael Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.Com/bridging-session

Photo courtesy of Jeffrey Eisen on Unsplash

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

Blessings Of A Supermoon

She illuminates, activates, agitates
The hidden, the forgotten, the feared, and the remembered
Her pull and presence bubbles it all up into our awareness
No matter how hard our protection tries

She invites us to see with our heart eyes
To hear with our mind turned inward
To speak with our voice aligned
To act with risk and trust
To move with the grace and flow of our intuition and desire

She is a microscope peering from above
A portal into our deep ocean of fractured selves
She is the lighthouse above
Directing us to claim and love these darkened doves

The fear, the anger, the hurt, the anxiety
The mother, the father, the child, the love
The hate, the betrayal, the rejected and abandoned

“Come to the light my beloved bandits
Seek to be known, remembered, and healed
You, the children of the ages,
The guilded towers of Atlantis,
The lush and majestic fields of Mu
The ancestors of Pleiades, Sirius, and Cygnus too.

You are all a part and the Whole Divine
It the human that seeks your remembrance,
Your wisdom
Your power
Your integration
No matter what you feel you have done, you are forgiven in Love”

She invites us to take this time to breathe, to feel, to reveal
All the parts of us that are seeking to heal
To return to a place of truth, of real, and of grace
This is no small task, but a journey of infinite discovery beyond suffering.

Bless this Supermoon energy and may it provide you with the clarity and courage to seek your Super You.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Supermoon Energy: Self-Acceptance/Love While Soberly Looking Within

by Kalayna Colibri

“With masks down, I walk, talking to the moon, to the neutral impersonal force that does not hear, but merely accepts my being.” – Sylvia Plath

The moon supports life on earth. She represents the Divine Mother while the Sun represents the Divine Father. They move in concert with each other, both bringing us into life, both very much with all of us as we walk through life. Both offer us codes, frequencies to integrate, vibrations of love that help us see ourselves and where we need to go next, as well as how far we’ve already come.

This Supermoon today brings us this message of love. Of a self-embracement and growing sense of self-love and appreciation for where and who we are right now, for this place, this being, is not where or who we’ll be forever. We all have more layers to see that need healing, that need our sober eye to look at them, but that need our love more than anything else. Loving others isn’t a mandate, it’s an opportunity that arises from the love we have within.

The Supermoon always feels intimate to me. It’s Mother giving us more illumination of our shadow, but the biggest piece that I think is always in our shadow, is the denial of love from ourselves to ourselves. The lens that tells us that love is scarce and that we have to do an awful lot to really earn the right to be loved and to feel loved. We are being invited to feel how love for ourselves has been conditional and to start feeling how destructive and harmful this is… not just because it harms parts of us that need us, but because it is does ultimately impact everyone around us too. The seeds of love have to be planted in the heart-garden within. Then we can show up with love for and with each other form the flourishing harvest that results.

“Can you start to love what has felt unlovable? Can you take care of all you’ve been given, all challenging situations, all parts of your heart and aspects of your soul, all areas of your sacred human body? Can you begin to see how you’ve withheld love and care for others because of insecurity, a feeling of lack of love within? Can you, will you, begin to look at what’s been neglected, even the harsh voices and parts within you, that need you more than anything else? More than more yoga, more than more food, more than more of anything material or physical or mental you could offer to help it feel temporarily better?” These are the questions I feel these energy waves offering today… these are the places I feel we are being invited to go within, to start the open-hearted investigation into who we all are in this now… and to begin to feel who and how we most want to be going forward, especially with ourselves.

This is going in very much on a personal level for me too in the moment, feeling appreciation for where my journey has led me and what is yet to open out. A new phase of Queen is arising as I move into ‘married life’ on a soul and heart level with Gabriel. I feel this Queen energy arising in relationship to my body, to service of love through SoulFullHeart, to Gabriel my beloved, to my other beloveds and most intimate relationships, to any crucibles that come my way in my own healing process. I feel how the Supermoon energies support King and Queenness to arise more through this process of deepening self-love for all who are ready to let that invitation in. It’s very much a time for deepening personal process yet the process of connection with others and service of love too in this collective we are all a part of.

Much love to you as you feel all of this with your own heart and parts!

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Just Give Up And Give In

Just give up…

Give up the knowing to feeling

Give up the doing to being

Give up the doubting to claiming

Give up the suffering to healing

Don’t give up on the parts of you that still need these to identify with. Feel them in the need to know. Be with them in the push to Do. Claim them when all they can do is doubt. Offer them healing when all they have known is suffering.

Then just give in…

Give in to your delusion of grandeur

Give in to the desire and dream

Give in and surrender to the power of love that aches to bloom

Give in to just being a singularity and embrace your multiplicity.

This is the journey of the human soul. Give it all you got.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Boys Will Be Boys…And Sensitive Too!

This is a question that was asked in response to my recent post about my engagement to Kalayna:

¨I am wondering if uncovering the sensual/sensitive part of the masculine is a deepening in your masculinity and if it is asking you to be more feminine than you are comfortable with?”

This was a very intriguing question to me and one that I feel is a part of any man’s sacred human journey. This journey is an exploration, uncovering, and integration of both poles of our being. These energies are a part of our Divine nature and in search of a dance of balance.

As a boy and young man growing up, I always felt different than many of my other friends when it came to such things as playing sports, construction, conflict, and girls to name a few. My emotional body just seemed different too. A bit more sensitive and was attributed to me being more of a mama’s boy rather than seeing it as a closer relationship to my feminine. So in a way, the sensitive side of my masculinity was always there, just not recognized as such.

As I am connecting more with a feminine part of me, I am beginning to see where she was always trying to be ‘one of the guys’ while not really feeling comfortable with it as it approached the more shadow edges of masculinity. (I prefer not to use the term ‘toxic masculinity’ as that seems to undermine and judge this part of us as bad or unwanted. More on that in a future post). Yet, to ‘fit in’ I assumed many conditioned behaviors to adjust and be more of what was considered a culturally acceptable male.

So, there was a conflict between my traditional masculine part and my feminine part looking for a way to feel safe and authentic in the world. Until this process of differentiating between the two, the conflict was a bit maddening to both of them. Now that I have cultivated a relationship between both of them, I can begin to feel myself as a bridge to them in my daily experience.

I am learning to feel less concerned about how that femininity expresses and how it is perceived. My traditional masculine is learning to feel the gifts of the inner feminine and how much healing and beauty there is in her. My feminine is beginning to feel safer in the outward masculine leadership and the showing up as a masculine presence. There is more to activate in my masculine that I realize has been shielded by my feminine. This is what I feel leads to a deepening of both poles of my being.

Raphael and I will be addressing this and many other topics for men and spiritual ascension in upcoming videos that we hope to begin today. A woman’s perspective is also very much encouraged to give us reflection and direction as well. We look forward to taking in comments and suggestions as we explore this very important topic to both of us, and to help bridge the inner parts exploration with guided meditations.

To hear more about masculine healing check out these videos from Jelelle Awen’s 33 Day series where Raphael and I were guests:

Inner Masculine/Feminine Balance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvi_m4i1KvQ&list=PLNmrHdaQSAvLiLpw1qSOmQE-tsqhGSAD3&index=17&t=0s

Healing The Sacred Masculine: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6ueoUK4aDo&index=30&list=PLNmrHdaQSAvLiLpw1qSOmQE-tsqhGSAD3

Photo by Michael Prewett on Unsplash

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.