Tag: parts work process

The Poultice Of Love And The Fear Of Intimacy

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

Wow! What a response the last couple of days to our engagement. Thank you so much to everyone who left your well-wishes and congratulations.

One thing I took away from it all is that one way or another we all seek Love. Maybe there are parts that may feel despair, doubt, or indifference to it, but at our core we love Love. The only thing that gets similar reactions is anything based on Fear. So in some ways, we have parts that love Fear too. Yeah, I know, an oxymoron.

This is the sacred dance though. The two poles of our BEing that seem at odds but are just trying to reconcile each other. As we all continue to heal our Selves with Love and for the sake of Love, we enter a new relationship to Fear. Something shifts in the power structure. The deepening commitment and claim of this romance with Kalayna will certainly bring up another layer of this relationship to fear of intimacy. Deep transformational intimacy that takes us to the core of our deepest traumas and pains that can only surface from the poultice of Love.

So the collective response is saying to me, “YES! Keep going! Keep feeling the edges of this because I want this too!” or “YES! Bring more of this into the world as it adds to mine as well!”. Even if Kalayna and I don’t “make it” in the long run, we are committing ourselves to this deeper healing that has collective and personal consequences. “Success” is only determined if we feel everything we to feel and say everything we need to say while we are engaged in this marriage of Soul and Heart. We are bound by this in desire, not duty.

I feel to continue this exploration of marriage, intimacy, love, and fear through the heart of the Masculine. What is its relationship and desire to those very things? Right now it is about being centered in Heart while exploring the Soul in healing the parts of me still in shadow around intimacy with the Feminine. It is a sacred one that I accept with dedication and passion.

If you are a man or a woman with this rising desire in you, stay tuned for more. I am also available for sessions to support you along the journey of this sacred healing and letting in of Love. Thank you so much again for all the outpouring of support and love for us both. ❤

*****

Painting by Eduardo Rodriguez Calzado

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Thy Queen Hath Come!: A Healing Man’s Journey Of Love

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

My beloved Kalayna is going to be my wife!

Our hearts and souls have been married in this journey of Sacred Union for some time now. We began 6 years ago and in the ebbs and flows of romance and friendship, we have found ourselves in the deeper waters of claim and passion, ready for what comes next in our exploration of soul and service.

As a man, this was also about a deeper claim within myself to honor and engage The Feminine, as well as her feminine. It is also a communion of our masculines as Kalayna’s needed to trust my own in that claim. It has been a process for both of us and will continue to be.

More specifically, I am blessed and infinitely ecstatic to make this a more “official” declaration. It does more than just represent something. It intends. It intensifies. It clarifies. I am in love with a remarkable woman that has spent her life in pursuit of her biggest heart and passionate soul calling. She seeks with great courage the most authentic reflection of herself, even if that reflection is not so easily digested.

It is not through luck that we found each other, but a process of deep inner work and difficult choice points. We have been through several iterations that were no less sacred than the one we find ourselves in now. It is a Love Story. It is our story. We have had moments that were far from ideal and yet the heart and soul kept on. We have been through our suffering phases and now it is time for our Deepening.

To my beloved wife-to-be

You have been the queen, the muse, the one I couldn’t let in

You have traversed the waters and lands within

In search of your Higher Ground

In that space, you set your beacon

Your Love Light shine

The scent of your lavender soul

Wafting across the ocean of stars

Into the vulnerable and readied sails of my heart

I saw you, I see you, I need you

Like I never knew I needed you

I see me, what I am, what I can be

Through you

From you

This once-soldiered soul has found a home

A place to rest and share his heart

His love, His art, His Kingdome Come

Forever blessed, forever changed, forever in pursuit of You

I am honored to be your Husband and King

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

My SoulFullHeart Journey: INvitation To Feel & Heal Through This Work

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

By Kalayna Colibri

When I started to deeply feel parts of me back in 2012, I had that distinct feeling of awakening to something you can’t ever turn away from again. I suddenly had children, inner children, to take care of and take responsibility for. I suddenly wasn’t only the energy of a 20-something and could feel how there were so many other energies, both younger and older, inside of me that were breaking down my heart door in a clamor to be felt!

I quickly met my wounded Inner Child and Inner Teenager. I even met my Gatekeeper/Protector pretty much immediately, as this energy really needed the floor to be felt in all of its years of leading me and parts of me into the fray of ‘seeking’ and never fully finding or being found. This energy needed a ton of mirrors to be able to see it and feel it as separate from me. These mirrors were not always easy to look into… especially with being a ‘20-something’ who had just recently graduated university and shifted outer geographies and was still building a self-image as well as spiritual entrepreneurial ideas.

It’s been nearly 7 whole years since my journey into SoulFullHeart’s version of ‘parts work’ began for me and since then I have met with many different Metasoul aspects of me from other lifetimes, many galactic aspects from different star systems and so on, and many, many different parts of me. This journey was easy to take on, but not always easy to deepen and for different phases I needed to take ‘breaks’ from it, which served to actually help me integrate what I had moved, felt, begun to heal deeply.

Today I am honoured to facilitate this work, to help others open it out inside of themselves and guide them through the sometimes rather rough terrain of really choosing to feel and heal. I get to help others find and feel not only their wounds but their high-vibes too. I get to be a part of this journey alongside them and that is what I treasure!

I hope to see and feel you engage in your journey with this and with us, my beloveds and I, in our wonderful and awe-inspiring community… whether I get to facilitate you directly or just feel you in group sessions online or in person, I look forward to that. I look forward to feeling tears and joys with you and you with me.

For more on SoulFullHeart Healing and our beloved process, visit: soulfullheartwayoflife.com ❤️

Much, much love!

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Scientist, The Sage, & The Artist: Seeking Love Through Experience And Knowledge

Published on by Gabriel Heartman3 Comments

What did your soul come here for? Experience or Knowledge? What did you come here to experience or know?

Healing is a digestion and an integration of this experience into knowledge. I don’t mean the kind of knowledge that you find in books, but the kind that is stored in the depths of our DNA, the unconscious, and our emotional body. Our circumstances are reflections of this inner experiential knowledge data bank and what It is seeking to learn and understand.

The scientist, the sage, and the artist are intrinsically the same.  There is an exploration happening. A reconciliation of an unmet need, an unanswered question, or a prolonged trauma. There is a drive to fix, transmute, understand, or transcend these. Pain is one of those aspects of experience that we try religiously to avoid until it cannot be avoided anymore due to the nature of the Souls journey.

It is hard to wrap our head around why certain people experience certain unimaginable things. It is hard because we don’t really ‘know’ what the soul is needing and wanting to learn and understand unless we get to a place where are deeply curious. This curiosity is what brings the questions that lead us on the quest.

The answers to these questions lie within you. The words of those that have traversed these depths are like guideposts along the way and can provide insight and direction. As a parts work and Metasoul healer, I assist in guiding others to aspects of themselves that hold keys that unlock doorways to places within that hold these answers. They hold the experiences of trauma, depression, anxiety, and dis-ease. By relating to them as parts, and not the totality of who you are or what you are experiencing, you create a space that can bring in context rather than drowning in the content.

The result is a new awareness of yourself as a divine creator seeking to know and experience Love, and often knowing Love is to know Pain until we don’t need it anymore. There is a world of You that you get to become privy to. I call it your YOUniverse because, yeah, you are that damn big and that damn amazing, whether parts of you want to believe it or not. Let’s go find out together.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Energy Update: ‘Peak Fear’ Moves Into Love From Within

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

By Kalayna Colibri

Energy update: the New is here… as much as you’re ready to let it in. Yes, it’s exactly like that song by John Lennon that goes, “war is over IF you want it”… if the parts of you that are ready for the battles to end and the fighting to no longer be their primary filter of reality and relationships are ready to let something new in. A new sense of Love and how it infuses and moves through life without a need for sword and dagger.

It’s not so much a matter of asking us to “turn the other cheek”. As I receive this message this morning, I feel it more as an invitation to advocate for your boundaries as needed, even with charge if that’s real for you, but to be willing to feel the impact of your truth and the impact other’s truths have had on you. It’s an invitation to bring our truth with courage and vulnerability, both. And yes, they both can live in you without conflict, as long as the parts of you that have been hurt and even harmed get felt and are held by a growing YOU of heart, soul, and sacred spine too.

Any energy of being ‘against’ is being flushed up to be seen, heard and felt. Parts of you may be good at finding the next righteous battle to fight or protest to walk with. Anything ‘against’ brings in more of this energy and doesn’t actually break the cycle of harm and abuse. Being with the new reality where this is no longer needed doesn’t relieve us from feeling the cries of the world, yet, what are the cries of your inner world? How are these energies of abuse happening inside of you? Fighting them on the outside becomes a never ending war. If we are to evolve and ascend beyond war being a major focus of our human and also galactic consciousness, we have to start within.

This is absolutely a year to really bring everything inward and continue to work it all in your heart and soul. This invitation has always been here, but now that the time of peak fear is underway, perhaps this invitation will start to ring clearer for so many more of us and more consistently too. ‘Peak fear’ means we are at a huge potential turning point… and that the turn to love as the greatest, most important reality, is here and happening!

Much love… ❤️

~

Photo is of the sunset here in Victoria, BC last night. Taken by https://www.facebook.com/pg/ItkasanImages ❤️

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Bridging Polarity In Service Of Love

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

We exist in a polarized dimension. It is not our essence to be fragmented into this and that, yet here we are. It was Divine choice and will to do so. To be so. When we lost the remembrance of that, it was like a babe being lost in the woods coming out of a dream. We saw and felt separateness in our most primal state. So we constructed, suppressed, and experimented with power in order to shore up the fear of that existential and sacred wound.

Timelines and worlds have been created and destroyed in this grand game of hide-and-seek. Seems almost a cruel joke on some level, yet the pain and suffering were the risks inherent in this desire to truly know and experience Love. The Divine has never been complacent to that fact in my heartfelt opinion.

So then what is the purpose of this trauma? This seemingly tragic consequence of the human condition. For those that have faced it heart-on, there is an awareness of this power of Love that goes beyond words and takes you into a dimension of reverence, strength, and awe that was unknown in Its singular state.

We are all a part of that Grand Choice if you truly believe we are a part of this Grand Design. The two cannot be separate, paradoxically enough. So in this way, we have a huge part in this experiment of experience. We feel. We ache. We cry. We scream. We choose. We surrender.

We become aware of this polarity inside as aspects and parts and we build bridges between them. We become aware of their stories, their experiences, their beliefs. From the wounded child/teenager to the fallen kings and queens of our multidimensional timelines. You are this kaleidoscopic tapestry of being that is the seed and vessel of the Cosmos. You are the lightship of leadership that can take us into the New.

This comes with a great price to parts of us that are seeking safety and/or control. There is pain to feel and responsibility to assume, but that is what leads to the greatest and deepest gift that lives within each of us. The power to feel and spread Love as far as the Soul can see.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Photo by Victorien Ameline on Unsplash

Aligning To Presence And Joy Through Feeling

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

Where would you rather be today? What would you rather feel today?

If you have a ready answer then you may not be in alignment with Presence and Joy. I don’t think many, if any of us, can honestly say they are in that space all the time. It is like an airplane that is on course to its destination is never on a straight line path. It needs to self-correct and readjust. These questions are just reminders to be conscious of what we really want and need in any given moment.

So many things bring us out of this sweet spot of Presence and Joy that seem nearly impossible to parts of us that can ever change. A physical condition, a social relationship, a job, financial concerns, or emotional trauma. These are the things that can feel like an infinite wall to climb, to conquer, or to master. Even using those words put you in a power struggle with the only thing that can move it….deep and honest feeling.

We are hard-wired for Presence and Joy, yet we have the software to take us out of it. Maybe it is our freeware as it is our Free Will. We do choose this life, these circumstances. These choices are a response to so much experience both this and other lives. You are not a simple switch, but a powerful tapestry of wounding and reaction. Whether expressed or suppressed. These woundings are your story and your script if you allow them to continue.

The healing of them is not a simple shift of perspective but a courageous dive into the deep end of your heart and soul. The process of healing leads you to more Presence and more Joy as these energies inside of you get their time to be felt, held, and healed with support. This has been a daily process for me over the last six years that continue to offer the fruit of this divine experience. I am never totally in that space all the time. I am progressing toward More. It is in that progress that I continue to feel what it is I need to feel as it arises in my heart.

That is the hallmark of transformation and ascension. Claim it and courageously walk it out. I am here to walk with you if you need it.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

A Reflection Of Me

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

Birthdays are interesting days. Parts of us have interesting reactions to them. They want to run, hide, enjoy and celebrate. From an essential point of view, every day is a birthing day. We get to arise new into our BEing and make a mark onto the world and into ourselves. We can create, learn, and grow from all our experiences and relationships.

Yet, on THIS day, third dimensionally speaking, we began a quest and a journey where we chose to forget this essential remembrance in order to find our Selves again. We demarcate a point in spacetime to reflect, appreciate, and honor life itself. For me, it is letting in time to love myself and this inner world of parts and Metasoul aspects that are a part of this healing and leading quest that I have chosen. It is also about giving thanks to those that have been an intimate and integral part of it….my beloved soul family and those that have been a part of this wild ride of ascension.

Today I am honored to be in a sacred union romance with Kalayna Colibri, who has been a beacon for my soul and heart for six years now even when we were just “friends”. She is the Queen to my King and for whom I am madly in love with. She has never ceased to call to my bigness as well as seeking her own. A part of me has called her the one he never saw coming, but somehow I knew different.

I have known Jelelle Awen for almost 30 years now, which seems to span lifetimes and dimensions. She is the one that showed me life when parts of me only saw suffering. I have died and come back to life many times from her vision and remembrance of who I am when I was too confused to do the same for myself. She is a mirror of my bigness and that frankly scares the shadow out of me! A true gift to me every single year.

In this quest of the Sacred Masculine, there has been one man by my side in this feminine offering. Raphael Awen has been a template of a father, brother, teacher, mentor, guide, and King. He has gone deep into all relationship with a courageous vulnerability that stirs the heart and defies what we as men are used to seeing from the collective and for that, I am forever changed.

My daughter, Raianna Shai, has shown me that Joy is the natural location of Soul. Her unique soul, ever since she was a wee one, has always been on a course to bring this Joy to others in the world, even when that joy has been met by heartache and challenge. She is far more than a daughter, but a teacher and a reminder of what our essence truly IS.

And then there is all of those that have been a part of this experiment and journey called SoulFullHeart. The courageous hearts and souls that have gone into the Deep and continue to do so. You are inspiring and amazing and I am honored to have you all a part of my life. I have much gratitude for all the people that have been followed my words and been touched by them. Your reflection and letting in is a daily gift to me as well as a joy and honor.

So on this day of a personal Earth birthing, I celebrate you and me together. Now let’s go eat cake on our behalf!!!

Love to you all and thank you again for all you ARE.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.


A Reflection Of You

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

Taking in the lunar eclipse last night I could feel its magic, its uniqueness, and its significance. These are rare occurrences in the span of our lives and the way we take them in says a lot about how we take in ourselves. Do we see ourselves as magical, unique, and significant? There is this awe and wonder that come up inside the collective as these celestial events happen. Many of us take the time to really feel what is being offered to us at this time and we integrate that into our next going on places.

It is easy for us then the next day to go back into the “normalcy” of our daily lives and that feeling of awe and wonder go back into their subterranean holding cells for the next reflection of our grandeur to come around and be reflected to us…maybe in the next 75 years.

But what if you could take that with you? What if that awe and wonder were a daily occurrence and not just predicated on external circumstances? That to me feels like the birthing of a new relationship to ourselves and each other. When you see yourself in the mirror this morning, do you see and feel the beauty, the awesome, and the divine within you? If you don’t, and this holds true for almost all of us to some degree or another, then there is your own eclipse happening inside. It is a sacred eclipse.

This is the part or parts of you that are seeking your attention and love so that they, and you, can start to let in more of this perfection and glory that you really Are. It is the protected places, the hurt places, the unworthy places that cast a shadow of great importance. They are the celestial bodies of your inner galaxy. They are your childhood, your growing years, your relationships, and the karmic timelines of your Metasoul. They are all coming around to be seen and felt once more as a gift and not a burden.

When these start to heal in the warmth or your courageous and compassionate heart, you begin to see that glory and grandeur again. The true you behind the wounded you. Yeah, there you are…power-full, meaning-full, beauty-full.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Lunar Eclipse Supports Feeling Shadow of Polarizations, Invites Unity

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

By Kalayna Colibri

Last night while witnessing the moon’s eclipse and feeling it hanging very close to my field, I was struck by a feeling of emerging sisterhood in my life and process, yet also the potential for it worldwide.

Yet… the temptation for many seems to still be that the way to unify is in anger. The way to find our common ground is to get pissed. To rage. To march. To condemn the masculine… in men yet also in each other. This is masculine versus masculine in the end, leaving the world inside and outside of us without any room for the sacred masculine AND feminine to unite and make love.

Pointing fingers, protesting, arguing without care of where and how it lands in each other is a phase of our relationship to each other that wants to move into something new. It’s a deep shadow expression of our fear of actually loving ourselves and each other. It’s a fear that the cycles of pain will continue while we continue to become a cog in the wheel, contributing to this cycle with that same fear. Real intimacy brings up a lot more than anger and push-away. It brings up tears and vulnerability, it brings up what’s underneath the rage and presses the heart to open in order to keep giving and receiving nourishment.

This picture of relationship I’m describing is not idealized or impossible… I get to live this every day, I get to be challenged by the presence of others who want to keep this flow going within themselves and with me, I get to feel and meet the challenge of continuing to move through my resistance to love and to keep letting it in… knowing full well that doing so means walking into fires of personal funeral pyres as the old way of approaching life and others passes away, and also knowing that it means getting to experience the heaven of a deeper and easier love flow than I’ve ever experienced before.

Even last night… sharing intimacy with my mate Gabriel, feeling his admiration of myself, my body, my heart and soul, I felt my admiration for his and let his male gaze into every pore. I felt so many tears come up and out like a fountain, feeling the pain of my soul and heart in relating to the masculine in ways that weren’t nourishing on either side and feeling afraid of it. Feeling the pain of a collective of women and what they’ve experienced and also the pain of the men who have not ever been initiated into how to make real love with a woman and what it feels like to be truly met or felt on their side either.

The more energy that’s spent in blame-game shaming and pushing away at each other, the less opportunities we create for the deep healing and nourishing intimacy that’s possible, that wants to bloom and blossom starting between parts of you that are polarized to each other but who want love more than anything else in this world. Starting to see and feel these dynamics within is the best and most profound way to shift what you draw in your outer relationships and what you start to see is really possible with each of them. ❤️

For support as you go into this territory and really feel how it all applies or could apply to you, my beloveds and I hold sacred session space for these explorations and more: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.