9/10 Energies Invite Moving On, Seeing Next Process Steps

By Kalayna Colibri

Today 9 turns into 10… it feels like a double-helix of new beginnings and taking everything you’ve learned and moved through to the next level while the old continues to move. This means applying all that you are now in all of the relationships you have… which could mean completing some, while deepening or even just beginning others.

I feel in myself a new beginning arising inside from much work and dedication to going inward, looking in the books and crannies and rather dark places. This work isn’t over and actually, I don’t want it to be. Yet I’ll take this new platform, this emerging foundation and these brand new wings out for a spin and feel all there is to feel in the process of that.

This is something I feel for many right now. You could be coming out of a deep emotional or physical process or both… I’ve always found that the two are inevitably linked. You could be popping through another ceiling of awakening and trying to integrate what you’ve been realizing and noticing about yourself, your soul, the world, your Star family, etc.

There’s a ton of support coming in, always, to help us feel all of this and more. The way you can let in this support is by feeling the parts of you in resistance to it. Resistance to love can be subtle. We all have resistance in some form or other, yet it’s how we relate to and feel that resistance that matters and has the most opportunity for growth, maturity, and letting in more love.

What reflections is life offering you now of where you’re on deck to go next in your personal process? We need these reflections to see what’s going on with us, as it’s not possible to see everything, every cluttered corner of your heart and soul, completely on your own. Life is a hall of mirrors, always.

As we move into this 9-10 day, let’s remember that we are ALL working to love our shadows and hidden places, feel what needs love inside of us, and that we are also always given a ton of love to help us see and be with this process. Nobody is exempt from this, yet we all get to choose how and if we accept the invitation to dive deeper and fly higher.

It’s your graduation day… just as every day could be. A graduation into your next phase of becoming more love and serving love too!

Much love! 💜

~

My beloveds, Raphael, Gabriel and Jelelle are all very gifted space holders with magnificent hearts that are ready to offer deep support and illumination in collaboration with you, your parts, your own heart and soul. For more information, visit this page: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session ❤️

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart co-founder, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Great Time To Be A Nine! (Oops…Alive!)

I decided to check in with the number 9 this morning as it seems a lot of people will be talking about it today feels like. Hard to not notice on a day like today, it being 9/9/1+8 and all. Here is my chat with this auspicious number:

Good morning, number 9. I was wondering if you would be up for some questions this morning. You are going viral today!

9: Yeah, you can say that. I can feel it in all my chakras! Lots of people talking about me today.

How does that feel to you?

9: It feels good. I don’t get a lot of recognition in everyday circumstances as there is no 9:99 on your clocks. My brethren tend to get the lion’s share of the exposure on that front. It’s all good. I like to be a little mysterious anyway. Kinda show up when you are least expecting me.

Hmmm…interesting. Why is that?

9: Well, I am a number that signifies a lot of change. Endings and completions. I am the death part of the rebirth cycle. That gets a lot of people feeling a little rumbly and nervous. Sometimes when change seems to arrive out of nowhere the only thing one can do is surrender or suffer. The choice becomes adamantly clear. Unless of course suffering is part of the learning and growing. I tend to want to get people to make their way to 10.

Does that feel a little lonely then?

9: No, not really. I have a lot of work to do! So many souls are on my doorstep and in my house Gabriel! This is a magical time to be a nine! Oh, I meant alive…sorry, occupational hazard.

Lol! Yes, I can see that. You feel alive to me even in the rumbles. You live on a tectonic fault line it feels like.

9: Oh my, yes. It has its moments. There is nothing dull about being the number nine. The one thing I love is watching the light of awareness go on when souls see the number 10 on the horizon. That there is a new beginning. They have to move from being one digit to becoming 2! This is a shift in consciousness that takes the time it takes. It means taking the steps to become like a newborn again. A 1 and 0 both. Woah, man. That is blowing my mind again. Sorry, I get this way from time to time when I take that in. What a rush from my perspective.

Wow…yeah. I can feel that strangely enough. I never thought I could connect to a number this way. You are pretty magical yourself there Nine. I actually feel some tears for you watching others move on.

9: Awwww…..that is kind of you, Gabriel. Maybe I need to feel the part of me that feels some sadness around that. I have just done my job for so long I have forgotten what it was like to dream about being 10. Maybe that is my next going-on place too. I guess as long as 8 is ready to take my place we can all find our next places!

Lol! Now you got it! What is the biggest thing you would like to tell others that you have learned in all your days of being Nine?

9: I would say that you were never meant to stay stuck. You were meant to move on. To become a 10. You were meant to say goodbye in order to say hello. Suffering in the fear of falling into Zero is held when you realize there is One right by your side. That One is always in you and never outside of you.

That was pretty profound Nine. Wow, thank you. I want to soak that One in. You just arouse different for me. I honor what you are and what you represent. A lot of goodness that can only arise from feeling the fear and even unworthiness of being a 10. Whew! I think I will stop here and let that be in the space today. I am so grateful we had this time together. Thank you for all you are Nine.

9: I am only that which is reflected onto me so I thank YOU for your recognition and how you have honored your own 9 moments inside of you and your growth. Here is to a new you and a new me as we feel and honor the old, that which is meant to serve something bigger than we can both even imagine.

Amen to that Nine. I love you. 🙂

******

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

How To Be The ‘I’ Of Your Inner Storm

I am going back into my writing vault to bring back a series I did about art and my healing journey. It was a time of going deep into the bowels of my pain and using a charcoal stick to bring out what was lying within. Though the subject matter looks and feels unsavory, the light of a new awareness and relationship to myself was unmistakable. It has taken the time it has taken, but it all began with a movement, a choice, and a desire to own and love my pain. What I am now discovering as my inner feminine seeking her place within the court, and core, of my heart.

You don’t need to consider yourself an ‘artist’ to simply draw what you feel. It is energy and energy expresses itself in a multitude of ways that doesn’t always look like something in particular. The stick figures I drew were perfect for what I needed to express what I was feeling. If I let a punishing or critical voice expect something more I would not have gotten to the real purpose of the drawing.

This one specifically centered around the inner critical voice I had at the time. It was one that had been with me for as long as could remember and does come out at times to be felt. This was an energy that I deeply desired to tap into as it created extreme energy drops and reactive fusions. As we awaken to the largess of our being, we inevitably wake up our inner demons and dragons. The way we relate to them is what brings about the deepest change. Here is a guided meditation I did to meet and love your inner critic/punisher:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cTe6ayIAWk

When this energy would come up it would kick up all my other parts inside me and whirl through me like a tornado wreaking havoc. I did not see that at the time but needed the eyes and open heart of another (through Jelelle and Raphael) to reflect that back to me so that I let that in because I WAS the tornado and not the ‘I’ of the storm. If you wish to read more you can go here:
https://soulfullheartblog.com/…/healing-art-day-1-critical…/

Art is a powerful tool to access the nooks and treasure troves of our heart and soul. It is the feminine act of creation and intuition that births the mirror of what it is that we are meant to look at and receive with our heart-eyes. It is not just drawing but any form of creative expression that is the gift of our humanity to cultivate and explore to the depths of our being. If you are curious to feel more into the integration and exploration of your own creative healing journey, please contact me or visit the link below. It is a journey that promises to take you to where you need to go, not necessarily where parts of you may expect to go.

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Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Feeling Your Desires, Letting Go Of ‘Settling’

By Kalayna Colibri

I’ve never felt very personally drawn to the sense that eliminating all of your desires is the path to true happiness. It’s in genuinely feeling our unhappiness because we don’t quite have what we desire that we set ourselves up for our next process of embodying the change we want to experience. Feeling desires does not have to feel like torture, though parts of you may relate to it that way. It’s not about over-stretching yourself into a pretzel to try and “make” something happen, either… though a phase of feeling yourself do this may be necessary for you.

This process doesn’t eliminate the need to feel gratitude. It’s actually a marriage of gratitude for what you’ve had and experienced and even letting in a mourning process of what you’re feeling to let go of, and a sense that you’re ready to move on now, that becomes the process of drawing in your next timeline.

As Raphael Awen has said many times, “the way you leave is the way you enter”. This lands quite deeply for me as I choose my next desires to pursue and let them land deeply in my heart too. There are things that I want, but more importantly, there are experiences of myself and also of others that I want, that are driving me onward into letting in more of what I truly want at this time.

I know so well the rumble that feeling the gap between what you want and want you have now creates in your being and your life. I have experienced over and over again the process of letting go while also holding on to that picture and feeling-experience that lives inside of you that tells you want is truly possible and invites you to feel all there is to feel about that.

This can become a scary process, especially if it is your first time navigating big changes or shifts, or if you’ve been through big changes before but want to move through it all differently now. It takes great courage to move through your timelines and into the unknown. This may feel natural to some parts of you, but completely unnatural and maybe undesirable to other parts of you.

If Ascension is anything though, it’s a letting go of the need to know and feeling all reactions there are to the not-knowing. We cannot ‘know’ our way through this Ascension process, only be with the unknowns of it and feel ourselves walking all of that out. This is the invitation of change and inner-rumble… this is the path to that which you’ve been most deeply aching for.

What are the desires you have for your experience of yourself, love, life, Ascension? What are you willing to move through in order to have and embody what you desire? Can you feel the parts of you that have a push-pull around letting that in?

It IS possible to hold what you want with a growing maturity and willingness to stumble through some darkness… and it IS imminent, that your desires are leading you to the happiness you crave beyond any previous ‘settling’ you may have been ok with for a while, and the fulfillment of everything your soul has signed up for. ❤️

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My beloveds, Jelelle, Raphael and Gabriel all offer exquisite space holding sessions if you’re curious to ride this unknown horse of your desires more deeply into the next sunrise of your life: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session ❤️

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart co-founder, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Exploring And Feeling The Wounded Feminine Within A Man’s Heart

I feel a sacred journey arising for myself in a renewed journey into my emotional body, more specifically around my inner masculine and feminine polarities. There is a depth of wonder and wound that is at the heart of it. To not go there in my opinion and personal experience, is to miss something profound in our evolution as humans. The emotional body houses our human experience, the ‘data collector’ of our soul’s exploration.

Currently, I am feeling my inner feminine in relation to my inner masculine energy. To fully engage in this relationship as a Man with this Woman can be a bit of a roller coaster. It turns things on its head in regards to how She has related to parts of my life. Was She part of the early rage I experienced as a child? What did She feel about my family, my friends, my jobs, my mates? What does want and need from me as my inner feminine? Who She is and what She wants is a huge part of who I am as a man. Really? Yeah, man, I feel it deeply.

There is a huge elephant in the collective room between the masculine and feminine as expressed in the physical between men and women. There are fascinating mirrors all around us when we engage in this aspect of shadow work that is meant to illuminate, heal, and integrate. This IS spiritual work. This is a deep, powerful awakening into our sacred humanity. The polarity can only be made truly whole by feeling the poles in their wounds and needs.

The feminine in men and women alike is like a genie in a bottle. It has been repressed, suppressed, sequestered, and protected. It holds the imprint of so many those that have been the most intimate to us in our lives such as mothers, sisters, relatives, friends, mates, etc. I am connecting to my feminine through the template of my sister that I have not explored deeply before. It is a fascinating exploration that is illuminating so much about my relationship to life, love, and relationship to others.

For men and women, this offers a profound brave new world that has effects in all areas of our lives. Most intimately it is the relationship we hold within ourselves where this is illuminated the most. As men (as well as the masculine in women), we have tended to negate our inner sensitivity and beauty which is really our inner feminine feeling that of herself. She holds that gift and has not been fully able to feel that from our masculine heart to hers. As her story unfolds, and her needs met, we are given a new look into what makes us truly masculine (and feminine too!). I will continue to write more about what I experience as well as what I get from the beautiful souls that I am serving that are on their own inner gender healing quest. Stay tuned…She is ready to be heard and seen.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Masculine Ascending: The Journey Of Finding Our True Man’s Heart

I have been spending some time taking in some deep reflections about my relationship to my own emotional body and its effect on my personal ascension process. Before I began this inner work, my emotional body would move from Zen-like peace to bouts of inner punishment, depression, and anxiety followed by a fifth of Scotch. I was the guy with “so much potential” in relationships and never fully getting what that meant.

As I have come to realize over the years, it was always and ever about being real with what I was feeling, expressing what my truth was regardless of where it came from. So many castles built on sand and a part of me (my protector) trying like hell to maintain that he was on solid ground. Of course, the tides of real love are always there to remind us of this precarious situation.

As a man, this relationship to the emotional body is what I truly feel is the ground of our healing, maturation, and ascension. I can feel how parts of me could use the spiritual ascension as a romantic escape from the real work of going into the heart of my humanity, even the core of my soul in its darkest moments. As men (and I include the masculine in women), we have a collective knack of holding a lot of deep pain in the recesses of our heart. The true man is the one that is willing and desiring to face his stuff, treat it with compassion, and let in the depths of his impact, or even lack thereof.

I am still on that True Man journey. Moving through one fear, resistance, vulnerability at a time. We are all in different stages of that journey, none any more or less than the other. We have others to look toward as models and reflections of what it is we feel we want and can be. They are not ‘ahead’, just doing the work. Even as that work can feel like a black hole at times, the strength of our manhood is not found in a desire to escape, but a willingness to FEEL. A knowingness that the hole is not who we are, but where we come from. It is a sacred part of what makes us humanely divine.

Men have a much different process than women in regards to emotional ascension. We have experiences and legacies that have their own unique variables and responses. We hold a collective piece of all that is manifesting in the world and we hold the key to that Great Change that our inner warriors are fighting for, or even running from. I offer my heart in service to that True Man journey through this inner work called SoulFullHeart. I have crossed my own rubicons and met my own fears. I continue to do so as an infinite unfolding, not as a suffering loop. A much different perspective energetically. The power of being in a one-to-one, and one-to-many relationship that forges a new man, a true man, and a heart man.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

From Living Room To Loving Room: Celebrating Sacred Group Process Space, Community Shifts And Changes

By Kalayna Colibri

At first glance, our living room is a mess, yeah? Well, if you could vibe yourself here to be in this room right now, the mess wouldn’t matter… this is the best room in Gabriel and I’s house right now. The warmth as I sit here and digest what moved between Gabriel and I as well as within us individually and within the hearts and souls of my other beloveds in this space today, I feel the warmth of the love container that held us all… the love energies coming from our hearts to our parts, our hearts to each other and each other’s parts. It’s a powerful energy to be in and around and not one that comes without cost, without constant and consistent choice, without courage and a deep trust within that love is carrying us to our next layers within and within relationship to each other too.

This was one of our last group healing spaces together before Jelelle, Raphael and Raianna go back to Canada, where we all came from 4 years ago, nearly to the day. It was a beautiful weekend of connection and process. It was a time of bittersweet celebration and abundance of love… digestions of our journey together so far and how much we are going to miss each other too.

We are choosing this next phase of separation so that Gabriel and I can build our kingdom together as a Sacred Union couple, an arising King and Queen. Jelelle and Raphael have their next phase of leadership too, moving on from this geography to be in a new phase of grist for their own processes and also to continue expanding our community. Raianna will be making connections of her own back in Canada too. In all cases, the intention holding all of it and all of us is to serve love… to ourselves, between each other, and with others. We ultimately want more of YOU to be able to access and experience what we experience together… the gifts and growth crucibles of soul family connections and the catalytic nature of this work.

So, a messy living room to some… but a warm LOVING room to me. And you’re all invited to take part in your next steps, feeling how they may even connect you more to us in the ways you’re ready for.

Follow along on all our Facebook feeds, our website (soulfullheartwayoflife.com) our blog (soulfullheartblog.com), our YouTube (SoulFullHeart Experience), and/or sign up for our free weekly Museletter on our website.

I wish you much love… from my heart to yours. ❤️

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart co-founder, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Letting Go’s And Letting In’s Of Birthing Your Highest Calling

When you make a claim for your highest calling, the universe conspires in your favor. However, that doesn’t always mean that favor will be easy for parts of you. On the path and journey to that highest place within, we will inevitably be asked to feel things we have been avoiding to feel. To let go of things that we have been afraid to let go of. And let in the love that parts of us are not used to or prepared for.

If being and serving Love is our highest calling then we are meant to be challenged in ways that don’t resonate with what a part of us has been attached to. We may be called to question our motivations, our habits, our relationships, and even our dreams. This is a very deconstructive process that reconditions us into a new altitude of experience that can be very hard to acclimate to. These parts of us, the energy in us that is still understandably attached to a story or picture, are being asked to let go of all that has been held sacred and comforting. There are no sacred cows left untouched in this process. It is ongoing until we have made the choices that reflect this higher calling on a consistent basis and it becomes a way of life to keep choosing, keep feeling, keep healing.

Every choice creates the life circumstances we are needing to feel, learn, and grow from. Those choices are made by the prevailing winds inside of us, be it fear or love. The question for some can be, what is the difference? That can be a muddied one if we don’t feel the differing energies inside of us and have a way to separate from them in a conscious way. This is the process of parts work and the gift that is bestowed in helping to sort out that question.

If you feel these rumblings, contortions, and differing energies inside of you, they are messages from your Higher Self to feel and heal these lower energies so that they may transmute and integrate into your most joyous and purposeful timeline on New Earth. They are birth pangs and they can hurt like hell. They can be scary and really overwhelming. This is the Quickening and you are being called to answer and choose. It is challenging but also very self-loving when we let the process take us where we are being asked to go. Only your authority will direct you there when you are ready

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Navigating These Times Of Change And Upturned Feelings Inside

By Kalayna Colibri

During these days and moments of so much coming in and going on, the constant invitation is to surrender to the tornado of reflections and changes, trusting that you WILL land somewhere soft and grassy… these times of upheaval actually press us upward AND onward, while encouraging us to go inward.

The preciousness of parts of you can be forgotten in the everyday shuffle and the ongoing dreamings of what you want to experience, be, have next. The need to see and actually be with what is now can be challenging. The emotional and spiritual pain and distrust that parts of you hold can become buried, even in a life that is genuinely good. The gift of these ‘tornado times’ is that this pain can surface and be felt again, made space for, healed deeper, brought with you to that new place the Divine so wants to take you and IS taking you, even if you can’t feel the surrender or see the ground beneath your feet at the time…

This is the ongoing offer, invitation, love we are granted and flooded with.

As hard as it can be and often is in these moments of poignant and pure feeling, there is always a Divine hand being held out for us to grasp onto, that encourages the authentic YOU to hold a hand out for the parts that are struggling in their fears and suffering in their pain, seeing and feeling the worlds – their worlds – that are collapsing in so many ways, while they reach out for a ‘more’ that they need reminding is not only possible, but already here…

In this bittersweet time of movement… of upswing and downturn… we learn to shift the gears into place, taking all of our precious cargo of self and soul with us. Bringing it all to that ‘Promised Land’ within, that does want to take us to all that we most deeply want and work to feel worthy of.

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My beloveds offer powerful session space for you to lean into if you’d like support through any changes going on and pain coming up: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart co-founder, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Healing Your Relationship To Depression

The words that are used to describe our emotional states can be held by parts of you as a way to actually not feel the very thing that the words are meant to express. Take “I am depressed” or “I have depression”. If words are waveform energy, then there is a collective binding to that word. You are not only experiencing a parts relationship to depression but the depression of all of those that have used that word. Of course, a part of you wouldn’t want you to feel all of that! Or the word can be used to judge or confine true and real emotion, which is can be a masculine part doing that to a feminine part, both in men and women.

Positive affirmations are meant to act as a refocusing, however, the feelings and parts that are associated with the ‘depression’ are then just moved to the side or sequestered/banished into shadow again. Letting go of the word for a moment and just feeling what those feelings are all about, with curiosity and compassionate understanding can lead to a whole new world inside of you. This is a negotiation with what we call the Inner Protector. It has a lot to say about going into this Depression. The images that come up with that word can be quite epic and overwhelming. There are layers of things to feel that make up the totality of this word.

It is time to treat it as an ally and a guide. A dynamic that is happening inside of you. Not ignoring it, but de-energizing the power of the word itself. It is a series and sum of feelings that have been balled up into a density that is extremely heavy. But when related to differently and with a willingness to feel those individual parts of it, will you then be able to get beyond its gravitational pull and into what it is meant to offer you.

It holds your creativity, your muse, your lost/forgotten connection to the Divine, and your inner Sacred Union. This is a negotiated process that has no silver bullet other than opening your heart, feeling what needs to be felt, one part at a time. My beloveds and I offer ourselves as guides in that exploration when you are ready to turn the depression into something new.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.