Category: Emotional Body Healing

Navigating The Confluence Of Change

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment
Just now recovering from one of the worst ‘flus’ in a long time. This tends to occur for me when going through lots of life changes at once. I have also recognized that it was at the confluence of the last 9 days, 9 months, and 9 years. Very catalytic and life-changing cycles all ending at one point. BOOOSH!!
 
It felt like I got hit by a Mack truck with symptoms all over the map, head to toe (including the teeth…a part of me needs to say.) I could feel how much my poor body has held this life and clearly in other lives. I have become more aware of it but this particular convergence really highlighted it.
 
I have come across so much darkness and suffering in myself and my soul over these cycles. I have also found more light & love than I ever expected to be privy to in one lifetime. This can be a challenge for the body to integrate in such a short period of time. I experienced myself differently during the past SFH Equinox gathering in a way that I haven’t fully assimilated yet. This brings up its own shadow/fear/excitement response. It needs to come up if I am going to continue to serve Love those I am meant to serve.
 
I saw my power. My gift. My desire to serve others, crossing territory that, in some ways, my soul has spent a millennia in. I felt the uniqueness of myself as a man, however I choose to define that. I have a sacred role. Not out of a duty but as a passion to create bridges into the New. I felt a growing closeness to and love for my feminine that continues to blossom everyday. I don’t know how I could do this without her.
 
I found a feminine star seed that I am just starting to tap into that I feel as a priceless gift to bestow upon me when the time is ripe. There are codes floating all around waiting for their landing pad. This is an exciting new frontier for all of me. The coming together of the Dark codes and the Light codes. They all have a role to play within us.
 
I am releasing a lot of my past relationship with Kalayna which has been a big catalyst for this rumble. So many gifts that I have been mining from the letting go. One being a revived relationship with my inner teenager and feeling his energetic bind with Mom that needed more purging.
 
On the physical level, a big detox of all the drugs, alcohol, and smoke that I consumed up until I started this journey 9 years ago.
 
Thanks for taking this in with me. I needed to unpack this a bit for myself and yet I felt to share as it may serve in its own way. It is both a personal chronicling and a shared experience.
 
We are all in a time of great change. How we are with those changes greatly influence how we move through them and where we land on the other side.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Moving From Care-taking to Care-giving

Published on by Raphael Awen2 Comments

By Raphael Awen

After raising or changing your frequency, you find and feel old energies present in your relationships that reflect the old you; the old you that doesn’t exist anymore, at least not in the same way, or to the same degree.

A natural tendency is to caretake those friends or family members rather than honestly and integrously bringing your truth, seeing them as kind of ‘grandfathered in’ into your life. Trouble is, grandpa’s dying or maybe even long gone, but you’re stuck with all of his unsorted stuff.

I don’t know of a greater or more effective cap on our growth than this deep rooted conditioning of caretaking.

Seeing to the core of this tendency, we see that the withhold of our truth is actually a withhold of our love; albeit in the name of love. A part of us is defensively caretaking the friend or family member out of fear of loss, out of personal need, rather than heart overflow.

This is why it’s called caretaking – it’s very much ‘on the take’. It’s living out of the absence and lack of love. It’s begging and fighting over scraps and crumbs.

Integrity asks us to be integrated, as in coming from one place, not two. This means purity; of one substance. Here, and only here, as well as magically here, the love that we truly give our selves (parts of us) is the same love; the same in character and kind that we have to give others. Nothing needs to be hidden. Nothing needs to be worked on to preserve the relationship. Relating is real and only real. Real has an energy of its own where the tendency to caretake naturally falls away and diminishes more and more as we integrate.

What truth of yours is wanting to come out into your relationships? What truth have you been disintegrously withholding in the name (and name only) of love? What manifestations of growth is a part of you afraid of while holding onto this shrinking pattern? What stress that is sourced in this hiding have you normalized? What would it feel like to bring your truth?

*****

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Reflections From Our Interconnections: A Poem

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Solais

Digging IN
my heart remembers
what it only can with you.
And what’s always true
is the plan of living
and the exquisite pain
of letting in
while also letting go.

Ecstatically
the heart opens and closes again
echoing thoughts and words within
the pulse of beating hearts
and timelines crossing timelines.

Instinctually
the forbidden mind
starts to mine
the experience of the heart
and integration of lined-up soul pieces
that flow and flee and double-back
into the next full circle
of healing miracles
within.

Reflections, ALL
move inside the current being
now seeing
what couldn’t be seen without them
moving into the heart space and out again
leaving me with more gain
than loss.

No matter the next
and next
and next
reflections and reactions and reactivations
the following places
pace in a dance
that races then recedes
in a way wild
uncontrolled
and absolutely
ALIVE.

~

Art by Rassouli

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Energy Update: Full ‘Harvest’ Moon Supports Recovery/Moving On Process

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Solais

Energy update: DEEP tears last night before going to bed… Felt so fully held in the arms of the Divine, especially Divine Mother, bringing more waves of them to feel and help clear the cluttered heart. Tears of purging and detoxing, rebirth and renewal, they were. Body shaking, quaking, sobbing. This is the state I so willingly went to as I returned last night to my tenderness, femininity, woman’s heart after an intense journey interfacing with this new life phase that seems to be opening up wider this week… and had my masculine activated in a more defensive or protective way than a way that lets my femininity BE and be vulnerable and breathe more too.

Today’s Full Moon is bringing something to full illumination inside. Sometimes these moons bring these tides of tears that aren’t always about pain but simply about rising again for yourself, to yourself. Sometimes parts of us get so backed up in our busyness throughout our work weeks, explorations of connections with others (especially any new connections where parts will likely feel especially self-conscious and reactive), that once the more feminine space within can be accessed, they can burst open again like a broken water pipe, sharing everything they’ve been feeling this whole time, and the Divine is there holding the bucket that catches it all.

Friday the 13th energies feel like a wrap-up and renewal opportunity that also comes with the Full Moon energies bringing pieces to full circle. It’s definitely a time of rebooting. Of completing one phase and beginning another, even just internally. It could be a time for you of ‘harvest’ as this is the Harvest Moon, which brings in energies of encouragement and support to feel who you truly ARE right now after the journey you’ve been on so far.

In all of this deep feeling release that’s possible right now, there is an opportunity to continue to move on, to move UP in frequency and upgrade your desires for more love in all areas of your life too, especially within, because without that harvest, that cultivation of deepening inner love, the deepest and most healing movements cannot be what they most need to be.

Raphael and Jelelle Awen will be co-hosting a very powerful group transmission over Zoom tomorrow. I highly recommend checking it out, especially as a way to explore deeper what could be moving for you now. More info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/1340021326164133/

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Holding Genuine Empathy & Love For Others

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Solais

The conditioning is deep around what we’ve been taught real love and care is and looks like. It’s challenging to feel it in different ways, to take a deep look at how we’ve related to love and how we’ve been convinced we’re supposed to embody it.

So often what we think of as loving or caring can have more of a negative impact on others than a positive one. False apologies, empty promises, tugging and grabbing at others… these frequencies can be obvious or subtle. And in any case, we aren’t genuinely caring about our impact on others, only what parts of us want and are afraid they won’t get or look like on the outside. I so know this one from my own process too, and learning to see and feel even the subtle ways in which this happens is illuminating and invites you to shift these patterns for good.

This is tricky… and hard to feel too. It can be hard to look inward and challenge how we have been holding love and what it means to love another, whether in official ‘service of love’ or in everyday relationships. It’s amazing what it illuminates within though, which is so often an untouched inner reality of how we ourselves, and parts of us, have felt incredibly unworthy of real love, abandoned somehow, and in a void space that has never been filled by genuine self-love and the journey of unfolding that within.

So what does it look and feel like to actually care and love another person?

To me, it feels like giving space for another’s growth without tugging on them to join in on yours. It feels like inviting someone to share with you what they need and want, but not with a commitment from you to make it happen for them. It feels like the overflow of good inner-parenting, of relating to yourself and getting to know your own quirks and shadowy aspects and energies within you as well as your gifts and growth and flowing this energy to another to support their own inner-parenting to grow and blossom too. It feels like being willing to let go even when your heart really doesn’t want to.

It’s a lot to feel into these pieces and truth be told, I’m not sure any of us can truly master this skill of loving another in the purest way… though we can definitely care about this journey and continue to do the inner healing to help us get there. We and parts of us all have understandable investments in relationships of all kinds and hopes that they will last too. We all have desires and dreams and don’t really ever want to feel lonely (though really landing in the loneliness has so many gifts too)… we all have what we want to experience from others and in our lives in general. Yet love asks us to trust… to invest in the process yet divest of the outcome. To feel what we want most and understand that it won’t always come to us in ways we can control, and also, to see it all as a process that can only ever begin within. We really DO have to BEcome the love we want to draw on the outside and share with others too!

Above all, love wants us to remember that it is never against us or anybody else, though it can feel that way at times. It only ever wants us to experience more of it within so that we can share it with others. This flow of love is really all the ‘service of love’ is anyways, though it can be dressed up in many ways and be given many labels and is not always easy to truly embody for ourselves, let alone others.

Much love to you as you continue to experience your own journey into more and more REAL love, and the path of learning to embody love in the most authentic way possible. ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

From Those Who Watch Over Us: A Poem

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Solais

It’s okay if you don’t remember.
We aren’t going to leave you.

It’s okay if you don’t know.

There’s not much to know, just to experience over and over again until experience turns into the page love is written on, not the words of love themselves.

It’s okay if you don’t know who you are.

We don’t care how many carousels you ride, how many spins you take, you will still have your essence in the end.

In the end, the only path that matters, is the path you chose in every moment. And no… we don’t care how you were or weren’t, just how your experiments end. The inconclusive conclusions you come to along your way back to love.

Love.

The only Ground Zero.

The only ground from where you rose, and the only ground on which you fall.
The place where seeds are scattered, and growth happens no matter what.
Yes. All else is an illusion.

But…

It’s the illusion you need.

That holographic something isn’t nothing. It’s the most important thing right now right now and right now.

So… walk, run, fly, dream, make love, make war, make peace, get messy, clean up, climb up, and fall down.

Your sacredness won’t break, for it is not porcelain.

Your birthright to live into all realities remains intact.

Here we sit.
Here we watch. Here we wait for you to remember that the path is love, the game is love, and the light, dark, hard, easy stories are the love you are learning and remembering that you are.

❤️

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Current Activations Help Us See, Feel, Heal Our Deep 3D/4D Matrix Conditioning

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Solais

We have grown up in a 3D society that encourages us to stay feeling full, ‘fat’ and flat.

Over-stimulated and underfelt are the many parts of us who continue to show up in life and relationships to ingest and then digest experiences, trauma, and what we’ve been told is ‘food’ too.

We’ve been taught that compassion is only a sidedish to being empathic rather than the main course if we’re encouraged to be empathic at all growing up or to ask for others to feel us… which happens in 4D consciousness too, where being an ’empath’ is often worn as a millstone around our necks instead of deeply inhabited and responded to.

Feeling ourselves in a heart-open way, let alone feeling others, is not encouraged and is instead told to be buried and covered over by the heavy cement of our education systems, our food industries, mainstream ‘medicine’, our consumption of ‘entertainment’ and even ‘spirituality’ itself.

Parts of us have taken on the role of shaming and shunning what is new and different, what isn’t mainstream, as it blooms inside of us and around us. This is typically an Inner Punisher part, yet other parts of you can be wrapped in this too and Metasoul aspects who are afraid to feel themselves, to digest the trauma of their timelines. In this way, this very much applies to 4D consciousness as well as 3D, as there are still matrices in place, rules to follow, ideas that are more acceptable than others, and ultimately still some expectations of how it all should be and look like.

Trauma should be ‘gotten rid of as quickly as possible’ instead of steadily and heartfully investigated and loved…. this is a popular one in 4D and a meme that relates to all of this deeply seated conditioning inside. This has been detrimental to our growth and our possibilities for deepening self-love and respect as well, as parts of us then go back into hiding where they continue to feel unfelt, unheard, and ultimately unloved…

To unseat these pieces, we have to take the space to feel ourselves with deep honesty… this is the hard part, as we haven’t been shown how to do this. You may struggle with taking time for yourself due to a busy lifestyle that you’ve needed for a phase or a relationship that feels rumbly enough already. I myself have been in a phase of more busyness than normal with exploring different ‘jobs’ and a new social world too. This is what’s reflecting all of these pieces to me and is something I’m going into in my soul… what have been the over-attachments in ME that have kept parts of me reeling and spinning in conditioning that simply doesn’t fit them anymore? What timelines are my Metasoul aspects still living in that are being reflected now, where they have perpetuated this conditioning in their own ways or been victims to it?

There’s so much to glean from all of this inner exploration with parts of you and in your soul too, should the timing feel right to really go into it and INvestigate it all… you can find out more about ‘parts’ and ‘Metasoul aspects’ here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

I really feel we are ALL being encouraged to SEE all of this as well as to feel it. To let the light activations coming in help it all become illuminated for us and with us, to collaborate with us individually on new ways to approach life and love… especially our sense of self-love, from which all capacity to love others stems. We CAN learn to love and appreciate the conditioning we’ve signed up for while also moving through it into something new.

Much love to you, wherever you are on your own journey with this and so much more… 

~

Join Raphael and Jelelle Awen on September 14th for a 4D Matrix Healing Group Transmission! More details here: https://www.facebook.com/events/1340021326164133/

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Healing The ‘Black Sheep’ Archetype

Published on by Kasha Rosa5 Comments

by Kalayna Solais

When you’re a child, you start to learn right away what is expected of you. You’re meeting expectations of when to start talking, walking, even behaving more maturely, whatever definition of ‘mature’ you’ve been taught. You learn, then, about what makes you feel like you’re on track with this and what doesn’t and you take in the impact of that.

As you get older and start to awaken more to your soul but also what your heart really feels and wants, the pain starts to set in… the pain of feeling like you don’t belong and maybe never have. A feeling like you simply cannot ‘win’ no matter what you do or don’t do. Parts of you form to deal with this and find a way to be in the world but you still can’t reconcile your differences; those aspects of who you are that seem to set you apart from everyone else.

In some cases, you may start becoming ‘therapized’ as the only way that your 3D-conditioned parents or authority figures feel they can ‘help’ you. You may be put on medication that numbs and dulls your natural ability to FEEL. Even the anxiety and depression you’ve experienced, which is held by parts of you that are hurting and also feeling on their radar a sense that they really aren’t safe in this conditioning and aren’t being loved the way they need and deserve to be.

You now see yourself as the ‘black sheep’ of the family but also of the culture you’ve been raised in. You may even feel this with your friends or co-workers. I know I have.

In my recent process, I was working with a part of me that always felt she was the ‘black sheep’. We had to go into a scene together where she could line-up her birth family members and feel the lingering judgements and criticisms, the messages of ‘you’ll never make it on your own’ which may not have been directly said but were energized.

Together, we could start to feel their Higher Selves in the room too, and their Higher Selves offered that this wasn’t actually about what it seemed to be about… it wasn’t about me or this part of me being a ‘failure’ (though in a 3D sense it’d be pretty easy to see it that way). It was actually about a wonder they have at the conditioning I’ve been able to say ‘no’ to, the risks I’ve said ‘yes’ to and the trust I now have more and more in my life, even the challenges that sometimes feel like mountains to climb.

In this, I found compassion for them even though I still hold a boundary.

In this, I found a way to truly see and honour myself and my own journey as well as seeing the sacredness of their own.

In this, I could feel how this theme of ‘not belonging’ and being looked down on somehow has played out in all of my relationships in one way or another, even with my soul family and my recent marriage too.

And, in this, I could feel how just about every single one of us who has been on an awakening and healing journey has felt like some form of the ‘black sheep’ and played out this theme countless times, often with angst and restlessness and even suicidal feelings.

On the other side of this process, I could bring this part of me into a new form other than the ‘black sheep’. She was able to shake off the black and the sheep suit came off too. She turned into a young lioness, full of power and presence, yet with heart and vulnerability. She is finding a new home inside of me where she can truly belong and be seen and loved for who she is, even in those times where she is being shown something not-so-easy to see or feel about herself.

You’ve been taught to look outside of you for validation and even for connection to Divine love.

You’ve been conditioned to believe that you’re always supposed to ‘achieve’ and ‘succeed’ even though the goalposts keep moving. This happens in 3D and also 4D in different spiritual groups too where your ‘black sheep’ feelings can become amplified instead of felt deeply, often in the form of ‘tough love’ which is really just outright abuse.

The feelings of not-belonging can be healed as the parts of you begin to unify, one by one, with each other and with you.

Love is the glue that brings your heart and soul back together again to wholeness within that can no longer be severed. Love is the juice that catalyzes the transformation from within. Yours is the love your lost and world-weary parts most need to feel, to remove their own sheep suits… for they were never meant to be ‘sheep’.

They were meant to be ‘lions’.

Much love! ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

Increasing Light Exposing The Dark Knight: Response To Mass Shootings

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

Somehow this is becoming a tragic reality of the unfolding drama within a country. Within humanity. After two back-to-back shootings on the heals of another just days earlier, it becomes clearer that a country is on a verge. I say a country because the US leads the world in these types of events. The mass shooting. The most numbers in one incident happened in Norway, but the volume of incidents and deaths happen in the US. 

It is also by the hands of men. Young men who all had deep emotional issues prior to the event. They have been described as outside the bounds of intimate community with a deep feeling of rejection and disenfranchisement. Yes, they are mostly white, and many have used their own hate as the fuel for their actions. The hate has been both indiscriminate and specific. We are all affected. 

I get that there is a war going on. It is undeniable to me. It is going on in the heart and soul of a populace of men. This saddens me deeply. It has edges of despair and hopelessness at times. These men have faced their own experience with violence and feeling unloved. When a part of them feels rejected, either by an individual or a group, this part needs to find a way to get its power back. It is a dark knight that seeks the throne of attention in any way it can, and being steeped in violence it has the means already at hand. 

This is a Violence Matrix. One that permeates the heart and soul of the wounded masculine. This aspect of men is permeable to influence in order to feel power. They can become pawns in a much larger game going on. They can create useful distractions and reactions that lead toward a specific goal. It is a soul history of being a soldier for The Cause. A 4D matrix that has deep roots. This is where the healing is if we can get there. The one great effect we have as men is to go into this and find out where that wound lives. That disempowerment, that rage, that violence. 

We all have our reactions to this from despair to indignation. When this happens the Rage of Change comes out loud and clear, but until we learn to love our own Dark Knight the cycle seems to keep recurring. As Gaia continues to enter more and more of the photonic light belt, we are going to see increased exposure of what lies deep within our collective shadow. These men are us. If we disconnect from them, we disconnect from a deeply wounded part of us seeking Love. We disconnect from a soul brother that is still in war and in battle. Fighting for his continued right to hate himself above all else. This brings me to tears. This brings me to wanting to love him and give him a home. No gun control legislation can heal this, even if it can stem it. 

We are being given the opportunity to feel something deeper. This is what Disclosure is offering us. It is not pretty. It is not overly welcome. But it is real and we need to face it. Otherwise, the wheel goes around one more time.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

 

Lion’s Gate Energy To Activate And Empower The Inner Masculine

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

This upcoming Lion’s Gate feels like a very activating and empowering portal. We are being offered the support to go in and access where we are still recapitulating dynamics and patterns in our emotional body and Metasoul. These cycles are looking to complete with love and compassion and reemerge into new cycles of higher manifestations and empowered, self-loving choices.

The inner masculine provides the ‘juice’ for this transition transmission. It creates the container by which the healing and emerging can deepen. If you feel like there a block to manifesting or moving into your next phase of growth, there is a part of you that has a resistance to that.

It can be a Protector/Gatekeeper that knows what is possible if that container is created. It means you have the ways and means to get even more intimate with yourself and your shadow. It also means that you have more to ‘lose’ if you are successful at the manifestation of what it is you truly want.

With each portal we are being shown what it is we need to go into to further this ascension process. Subconsciously we have some clue and THAT is what scares us. Going in it is what brings us to the other side, but do we have just enough worth to bring the unworth with us and see what happens?

This is a great time to feel what it is you really want out of life. Put in your Christmas list now as the Universe, and our Sirian aspects, want to give it to us! It is all right here for each of us to grab. Santa’s bag is an Infinite well of goodies! This is where it can feel too good to be true for many parts and aspects of you anchored in the unworth and scarcity.

Tapping into your Sirian guides, your inner masculine/feminine, inner child/teenager, and Protector/Gatekeeper can help bring clarity to what has kept you from fully inhabiting and claiming what it is you really want and believe you can be.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.