Category: Awakening Process

Free Falling Into The Abyss Of Shifting Self Identities During Awakening

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

Many worlds you live in and walk in and BE in. Many versions of you show up for each of these worlds. There are the masks to slip on and wear as needed….each ‘world’ requiring something different in energy, tone, response. Parts of you ‘put it on’, you wear it even as it wearies you more and more to be worn like this. You are like a quick change artist, perhaps shifting without consciousness into new OUTfits many times a day.

All these different worlds leave you stretching over the gaps between who you really are and what they expect you to be. The formfitting happens from parts of you that know so well how to do this and have become experts at conforming in this way. Part of you has become a camouflage creature, able to become just like any environment that you are in. You can become the color of the social scenery around you, blend right in. This was the order of the day to survive; this is 3D life that requires a heightened sense of self preservation that is about not being yourself, yet about being like everyone else.

You start to wake up from your sleep walk. You start to SEE through each of these worlds. You visit the sets and stages. You begin to recognize the props and costumes that you are required to wear. You feel where continual suffering is the badge of entry in and the energy needed to remain. You see the others that were once close to you start to fade from your interest as they stay invested in these worlds and you begin to pull out. They may grab at you and you may go back, in a push-pull and mixed feelings conflictual dance with many things learned on both sides.

Sometimes, you feel like a ghost walking once familiar and comforting hallways that can no longer provide you a place to BE in solid form.

Sometimes, you feel like a bull dozer, purposely collapsing these worlds and your place in them….clearing the way for the NEW.

Sometimes you are a phoenix…rising from the ashes of all this fiery wreckage to BE reborn without constraints or limits.

Sometimes you are a little child, just sobbing in the corner as you wait for a parent to take your hand and show you the way home.

There are no straight lines to follow or linear directional paths to navigate this shifting and sorting out of your worlds. Increasing LOVE for yourself and with others and with the Divine provides heartlines that you can use to navigate in the lost moments. The heartlines disappear at times too, as they are meant to as these are the moments where you inner strength truly grows.

You are free falling into the abyss of lost self identity as the roles fall away, along with the attachments and the rules and expectations too. Yet, you begin to trust more and more that you will land on the soft soil of your own soul’s kNOWing and into the arms of the Divine.

You begin to find your home.

You more often return to love as THIS is the world that offers the most nourishment. And, you start to remember how always will you return, eventually, to the love that you actually ARE!

Love,
Jelelle Awen
1:1 sessions available with me and other SoulFullHeart Facilitators to feel/identity/be with these different energies/parts to move into wholeness. More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about 1:1 individual sessions with her and other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Divine Mother Transmission & Guided Meditation: ‘Discover’ Vlog Series With Kalayna Solais

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

By Kalayna Solais

After yesterday’s Lunar Eclipse there seems to be an influx of Divine Feminine/Mother energies available and supporting us all. She is coming in on waves of love, care, and compassion for us through all of the intensity and the processes we are in individually but also collectively.

I created this transmission and guided meditation this morning to help you feel Her frequencies that are coming in now. Even if you haven’t really felt Her before, this is a great introduction to some of her many faces/energies and to the process as well of awakening/connecting to Her deeper.

I share personally about some of what I’ve been through that has helped me awaken more to Her arms. There is a bit more about this process in a video that Jelelle Awen and I did together during her Deepen series, here:

Much love!

Kalayna ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Digesting Disclosure: Love, Shadow, & Disclosure

Published on by Raianna ShaiLeave a comment

In this episode of Digesting Disclosure, Raphael and Gabriel talk about the deeper shadow that lurks in the disclosure world and how we are meant to feel how our reactions to it reflect our own relationship to exploring the Shadow within ourselves. If Love is the source of All then how does that reconcile with all the evil practices that are waiting to be exposed on a greater scale?

This is meant to get to a wider context of deeper feeling and exploration for each of us individually and as a collective. An upcoming meditation in our next episode will help to begin this connection within to help bridge to this suppressed and hidden part of each of us. With Love by our side, we can offer something new into the space in our rage and/or despair.

Here is a past guided mediation to meet your shadow self previously created by Jelelle Awen. https://youtu.be/4VnfgzhzzjE

For more information on SoulFullHeart Bridging Sessions visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

The Velveteen Rabbit Within Us All

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

Digesting a lot in the aftermath of completion. My heart and consciousness still calibrating to a new reality post-marriage. There are ghost-like sensations throughout the day, things that I would normally have responded to are no longer there. It is a bit of a emotive and cognitive dissonance yet that is the very thing that lands me back into me.

Me.

Who is that even? I am beginning to become aware of who I was and which parts of me were in response to all of the relationship dynamics. I do feel a core self that has been there but the degree to which “he” showed up is still in question. That is the current process. Taking stock of where “I” was and who this “I” even is.

It is not so much existential or judgmental as it is curious with compassion. That is what allows the shadow to come out and be seen and felt. Just hanging outside the cave entrance and letting it know that I am here to be a friend and a caring advocate. Not a punisher or a hunter looking for extradition.

When we go through emotional times like this it can be so easy for a part of us to go into “fix it” mode or into the blame/shame game. Instead there is an opportunity here for us to get to some tender and profound understandings of what make us who we ARE and who we want to be going forward. This makes all our experiences sacred and meaningful. We get to come in contact with aspects of ourselves that are deep need of love and forgiveness.

Through this experience I will find something that may not look “good” or feel good, but if my Higher Heart is leading the way I can guarantee I will find something that will be real and that is what any of us can hope to aspire to. Just ask the Velveteen Rabbit.

******

INtimacy over INvisibility

Published on by Raianna Shai1 Comment

By Raianna Shai

I haven’t written a post in a while as a lot has been shifting and growing in my world. A couple of weeks ago Kalayna and I spent a few days on Salt Spring and just this week we all spent time camping in Goldstream.

One theme that has been popping up a lot for myself as well as my entire community is intimacy in relationships. I have always had this tendency and even desire inside of me to be invisible. I was incredibly shy as a child, I never rose my hand in class, I chose to blend in for any social interaction. I had absolutely no desire to be seen or more vulnerably, to be judged by others.

It’s easy to get into a “mode” in every relationship in your life and it doesn’t take long to establish, even with new people. We find what frequency is most comfortable and what allows us to get along with this other person. What gets hard is when something gets triggered or rubs against something inside of us.

I have found that most people either push away their reactions towards others, judging them as unfair or just not worth it, or they push their reactions on others, without feeling what the impact might be or what’s going on inside of them. Both of these strategies allow us to hide, to put away the deeper and more vulnerable parts of us that go against the already agreed upon frequency that you have established in the relationship.

Parts of me fear that my truth will either end the relationship or deepen it. Both risking being seen for more than my persona. Going against the grain of what is comfortable in relationship is exactly what intimacy is all about.

You tell your truth, as messy as it gets, until one day you are transparent in every moment. Until you have no fear locking you into place and all of your words come from love for yourself and love for other. Until you trust that losing a relationship is okay and deepening a relationship is okay too. Until you are so centred inside of yourself that no level of intimacy can scare you away. Even when fear comes up there is progress and honesty about it all. That is when community can flourish and become something new and never done before.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

The Secret: Feel The Parts, THEN Manifest

Published on by Raianna ShaiLeave a comment

By Raianna Shai

**TLDR; I’m starting a project of reading all of the most popular spiritual books that I hear of to learn about what others are taking in so that I can share my own personal take on them. In “The Secret” I resonate with the idea of manifestation and our capacity to draw whatever it is we want. However, I believe that you have to feel the blocks that are in the way and the parts of you that don’t feel your power. They have very good reasons to feel this way and shouldn’t be bypassed in this process.**

I grew up in a spiritual household for a good portion of my life. The sweet scent of incense, the soothing sound of meditation music, a mother and step father that would talk about their spiritual and emotional explorations. But to be honest, I wasn’t all that into is as something to deeply explore myself as a teenager.

By the time I chose to try SoulFullHeart with my family I still hadn’t had a phase of spiritual exploration that most young people have when newly awakening. Because of this I really just have the SoulFullHeart lens that, while it resonates on every level so far, isn’t something that most people know about. Especially people my own age.

So I decided that in order to truly understand spiritual people my age, I could start by reading the most popular books from the classics to the more modern takes on spirituality. I really want to dive into the heart of someone who has a buffet of spiritual beliefs to dive into and figure out how I feel about it myself. So the next time someone brings up “The Power of Now”, I can have something to digest about it.

————————————————————————————————

The first book I’ve chosen to dive into is “The Secret”. I first saw this documentary on Netflix and tried to watch but couldn’t quite get into it. It felt a bit dramatic to be honest and it energized this feeling that this is something that has been taken away from us to remove our power and make us feel like we can’t change every fiber of our daily lives. I do agree that there is a veil in place that stands in the way of the ultimate capacity of our beings, but I also feel that we chose this and that a big part of why we’re here is to heal enough to dissolve this veil.

For those of you who haven’t read this book, the secret they are referencing is the Law of Attraction. It says that like attracts like – which means that whatever you think is attracted to you. If you think that you are poor, you will be. If you think that you are rich, you will be.

My first reaction from a part of me was that this seems very oversimplified. I feel that we have chosen certain circumstances and while we have the choice to heal them or not, some things are just meant to happen whether we think high vibe thoughts or not.

However, I do resonate with the idea that once we find our absolute joy and become more of our higher selves we will draw and manifest just about anything we want to. I definitely believe in the power of intention and the energy of the universe. I also really like that it encourages you to have gratitude for what you have NOW as a part of it all. Gratitude is such an important part of manifesting something new. Where my feelings differ though are how to get there.

“The Secret” mentions a lot about replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. While that’s a nice sentiment I think it takes something different and some hard inner work for everyone to get to this positive and joyful place. For me, it is parts work and the process we do in SoulFullHeart. For someone else it might be breathwork or shamanism. I feel that if you can get deep enough inside of yourself to reach the parts of you that don’t believe in your power or joy, then it is a fast track to feeling exactly that.

I think it’s a very empowering and expanding practice to picture and energize exactly what you want in your life. It sends a message out to the universe and it will manifest for you. Not thinking of the how or when but knowing that you can have it. But it’s also empowering to feel the parts of you that just don’t believe, that feel like they’ll never get what they want. Without first feeling your blocks to manifestation with love and trust, you will have a harder time manifesting anything. These parts have valid reasons for feeling the way they do and I really don’t believe they should be bypassed.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Energy Update: Big Gaia/Schumann Spikes, Earthquakes Connection To Fall Of Lemuria, 7/7 Codes

Published on by Jelelle Awen1 Comment
By Jelelle Awen
Energy UPdate: Big spike in the Schumann/Gaia resonance today….reaching 110 HZ about four hours ago! WOW! The elevated frequency is still going on at this moment….and it’s 7/7 so more amplified codes/energies are coming IN to be received too.
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The last three days have been higher Gaia/Schumann frequencies which you may have felt in your body….I experienced tightness and some pain in my head, neck and shoulders yesterday. I’m going to the ‘next level’ in my yoga practice so that was some of it, but I also wasn’t surprised to see that the Gaia resonance was elevated too as I have experienced it this way before. It’s as if the body is responding to Gaia’s shifts too….living them out in every cell and muscle.
 
I feel there is a correlation between the Gaia spikes and recent earthquakes in California and here in Vancouver Island. There is much energy released when these fault lines shift. I was offered by my Inner Earth Lemurian sister/guide Trista yesterday that the earthquakes are remnants from when the continent of Lemuria fell and collapsed about 12,000 years ago. The tension and even trauma from this collapse (which was caused by misuse of powers, energies, and conflict between Lemuria and Atlantis) live in these fault lines, which need to expand and stretch at times to relieve the pressure.
 
She said there is sometimes intervention from Inner Earth communities (for which there are hundreds of cities in Inner Earth including Telos, a city under Mt. Shasta, California) to create these earthquakes. Yet it is not for malevolent reasons, but rather to release some of the pressure on the tectonic plates. They choose areas of less surface population whenever possible to do this. It is like a controlled burn in that way. She offered that sometimes what we call “Cabal” or “Illuminati” forces are responsible for a quake, but usually they are either natural or facilitated by benevolent beings.
 
Earthquakes offer an opportunity to feel your Lemurian and Atlantian Metasoul aspects that lived during the fall and collapse of these civilizations. There is a trauma from this experience that I feel underlies much of what expresses as this-life reactivity, conditioned response, and even life choices. There can be a lingering distrust in the Divine and in life, and ongoing tensions about personal safety (usually expressing as anxiety about money) caused by this trauma. Experiencing an earthquake can trigger this trauma in your soul and BEing with it, connecting to your soul fragment that is living it out (usually in a repeated loop) can help to digest it.
 
There is also today, 7/7, offered a sense of your higher timeline self and life can be more easily accessed, providing a bigger context to the current shifts and transitions. This is a guided meditation I did to connect to your higher timeline: https://youtu.be/T0K7Ti68gNo
 
Take care of YOU during these shiftings and changes,
Love,
Jelelle Awen
1:1 sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators available to create bridges to heal traumas from this life and other lifetimes! More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions
Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about 1:1 individual sessions and group transmissions events with her and other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

The Constant Of Change

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

By Gabriel Solais

Change is the one thing that we can count on to be constant. That is the marker of our growth whether that change shifts something inside of us, outside, or both. Invariably they are both occurring simultaneously. The deeper gauge is how we are relating to and digesting that change inside.

My world has felt like it has flipped on its axis over the past couple of weeks. I will be writing more about that in the next couple of days. In this emotional ‘pole shift’ a lot has rumbled and it could feel like a catastrophe to parts of me. Kind of like my own personal Atlantis.

In the course of this upheaval, I have given myself to the surges and purges. The depths of feeling that bring rain and then clearer skies, only to roll with another ‘aftershock’ of reality. I have had the fortunate situation to be able to do so at a rate and pace that felt self-loving and not forced, judged, or ignored.

In the roll, I am finding a rock. A sense of BEing that is not hard, but fluid and flexible. Trusting and forgivable. This rock is a deeper layer of a ‘me’ that I continue to learn about and become more intimate with in Love and Awareness. Some good and some things that need to be loved.

And that is the gift of this journey. To find what is True within the Hidden, even when that seems to get flipped upside down from time to time. The essence and purpose of change. If you are amidst a great shift and change in your life there are those that can help you to navigate that with all the grace and pace needed to get to that ‘other side’ and next chapter. It has been a gift to me beyond these words.

More to come…

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Vulnerability In Relationship

Published on by Raianna Shai1 Comment

By Raianna Shai

I wrote this poem after having just the right day to open up my heart. Whenever this happens every space inside of me that feels like a void fills up with gratitude and appreciation of my environment and the people around me. I was reminded of why I tend to feel guarded around others and how good it feels to be intimate in relationship.

I am very good at being alone. I have always been independent and able to entertain myself quite easily. I thought recently that I would be happier and more opened out living on my own. But the fact that living with others is harder and scarier means it’s probably what I’m meant to be working.

I was feeling how it’s so easy to feel misunderstood or judged by others when you have that living inside of yourself. Whenever my insecurity was high, I found that it was harder to let others in and be vulnerable. I also remembered how much I love physical touch and how important it is to increase the intimacy in relationships. A lingering hug here, a friendly cuddle there. I always saved this for when I was in a romantic relationship because that’s where it felt safe and accepted.

But telling someone what they mean to you and showing physical affection are two things that are bound to be scary. It means you are seeing the other and therefore “risk” being seen yourself. This can bring up a lot of fear if a sense of lack or unworthiness lives inside of you.

I have a big desire to go to the next place in all of my relationships in order to work this push pull inside of me when it comes to intimacy. This poem illustrates the feeling I had of that!

~~~

In the moments that my heart splits open
Gratitude fills every atom of my soul
My body sways with tenderness and care
I want to wrap my arms around every lonely heart
Connecting to oneness and collective love

My fingers trace the edges of my frame
It runs along every crack
Every bump
Every inconsistency
It fills my emptiness with loving energy
It brings out the softness underneath the surface

Soft vulnerability is hard to show
The sweet caress of your own beauty
Uniquely separate from those around you
Yet intertwined in insecurity and fear

I feel overwhelmed by the thought of my loved ones
The way they move through life
The way they see and care for me
When I can’t see myself

You are so brave, dear one
To be a bright green growth
In a grey sidewalk crack
Constantly fearing the underside of passing steps
The shadow side of humanity

I see you, I feel you
I want you, I need you
I feel scared to tell you
That I admire you
And hope you admire me too

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Path To Soul Purpose

Published on by Raianna Shai1 Comment

Your 20s is a strange and confusing time of your life. It’s the decade when you are entering the “real world”. When there are less handrails and more independence. When you have the space and freedom to choose who and what you want to be.

This can be as equally liberating as it is terrifying. So many people I have talked to, including myself, have moments of feeling like they don’t know what they’re doing with their life or where it’s leading.

There’s a new priority these days of fulfilling a soul purpose rather than living out the traditional lifestyle of older generations. However, we haven’t exactly been taught how to find or live out our soul purpose so we have to feel it for ourselves.

It’s easy to see others who look like they have their life “together” and to judge yourself for where you are at. But one thing I’ve learned is that absolutely everyone is going through something. No matter how much of their life is exactly how they want it to be, there are always moments of self doubt, sadness and frustration.

It’s easy to want to hide away from the world because of this. To not reveal yourself or your intentions until you have it figured out. But the biggest thing we can learn from each other is what it’s like to be in process. Vulnerability is about exposing yourself every step of the way in order to let in more intimacy.

We can spend our whole lives trying to be self sufficient and happy on our own but we do this work in order to share it with others. We are not meant to depend on others but we are also not meant for absolute solitude.

We work towards self love in order to feel love for all. We live through peaks in valleys just like everyone else. The best we can do is feel where we want to be, what’s keeping us from being there, and loving ourselves until our shadow can come to the light of day. It is then that we love out our wildest dreams.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.