The Poultice Of Love And The Fear Of Intimacy

Wow! What a response the last couple of days to our engagement. Thank you so much to everyone who left your well-wishes and congratulations.

One thing I took away from it all is that one way or another we all seek Love. Maybe there are parts that may feel despair, doubt, or indifference to it, but at our core we love Love. The only thing that gets similar reactions is anything based on Fear. So in some ways, we have parts that love Fear too. Yeah, I know, an oxymoron.

This is the sacred dance though. The two poles of our BEing that seem at odds but are just trying to reconcile each other. As we all continue to heal our Selves with Love and for the sake of Love, we enter a new relationship to Fear. Something shifts in the power structure. The deepening commitment and claim of this romance with Kalayna will certainly bring up another layer of this relationship to fear of intimacy. Deep transformational intimacy that takes us to the core of our deepest traumas and pains that can only surface from the poultice of Love.

So the collective response is saying to me, “YES! Keep going! Keep feeling the edges of this because I want this too!” or “YES! Bring more of this into the world as it adds to mine as well!”. Even if Kalayna and I don’t “make it” in the long run, we are committing ourselves to this deeper healing that has collective and personal consequences. “Success” is only determined if we feel everything we to feel and say everything we need to say while we are engaged in this marriage of Soul and Heart. We are bound by this in desire, not duty.

I feel to continue this exploration of marriage, intimacy, love, and fear through the heart of the Masculine. What is its relationship and desire to those very things? Right now it is about being centered in Heart while exploring the Soul in healing the parts of me still in shadow around intimacy with the Feminine. It is a sacred one that I accept with dedication and passion.

If you are a man or a woman with this rising desire in you, stay tuned for more. I am also available for sessions to support you along the journey of this sacred healing and letting in of Love. Thank you so much again for all the outpouring of support and love for us both. ❤

*****

Painting by Eduardo Rodriguez Calzado

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Thy Queen Hath Come!: A Healing Man’s Journey Of Love

My beloved Kalayna is going to be my wife!

Our hearts and souls have been married in this journey of Sacred Union for some time now. We began 6 years ago and in the ebbs and flows of romance and friendship, we have found ourselves in the deeper waters of claim and passion, ready for what comes next in our exploration of soul and service.

As a man, this was also about a deeper claim within myself to honor and engage The Feminine, as well as her feminine. It is also a communion of our masculines as Kalayna’s needed to trust my own in that claim. It has been a process for both of us and will continue to be.

More specifically, I am blessed and infinitely ecstatic to make this a more “official” declaration. It does more than just represent something. It intends. It intensifies. It clarifies. I am in love with a remarkable woman that has spent her life in pursuit of her biggest heart and passionate soul calling. She seeks with great courage the most authentic reflection of herself, even if that reflection is not so easily digested.

It is not through luck that we found each other, but a process of deep inner work and difficult choice points. We have been through several iterations that were no less sacred than the one we find ourselves in now. It is a Love Story. It is our story. We have had moments that were far from ideal and yet the heart and soul kept on. We have been through our suffering phases and now it is time for our Deepening.

To my beloved wife-to-be

You have been the queen, the muse, the one I couldn’t let in

You have traversed the waters and lands within

In search of your Higher Ground

In that space, you set your beacon

Your Love Light shine

The scent of your lavender soul

Wafting across the ocean of stars

Into the vulnerable and readied sails of my heart

I saw you, I see you, I need you

Like I never knew I needed you

I see me, what I am, what I can be

Through you

From you

This once-soldiered soul has found a home

A place to rest and share his heart

His love, His art, His Kingdome Come

Forever blessed, forever changed, forever in pursuit of You

I am honored to be your Husband and King

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

The Scientist, The Sage, & The Artist: Seeking Love Through Experience And Knowledge

What did your soul come here for? Experience or Knowledge? What did you come here to experience or know?

Healing is a digestion and an integration of this experience into knowledge. I don’t mean the kind of knowledge that you find in books, but the kind that is stored in the depths of our DNA, the unconscious, and our emotional body. Our circumstances are reflections of this inner experiential knowledge data bank and what It is seeking to learn and understand.

The scientist, the sage, and the artist are intrinsically the same.  There is an exploration happening. A reconciliation of an unmet need, an unanswered question, or a prolonged trauma. There is a drive to fix, transmute, understand, or transcend these. Pain is one of those aspects of experience that we try religiously to avoid until it cannot be avoided anymore due to the nature of the Souls journey.

It is hard to wrap our head around why certain people experience certain unimaginable things. It is hard because we don’t really ‘know’ what the soul is needing and wanting to learn and understand unless we get to a place where are deeply curious. This curiosity is what brings the questions that lead us on the quest.

The answers to these questions lie within you. The words of those that have traversed these depths are like guideposts along the way and can provide insight and direction. As a parts work and Metasoul healer, I assist in guiding others to aspects of themselves that hold keys that unlock doorways to places within that hold these answers. They hold the experiences of trauma, depression, anxiety, and dis-ease. By relating to them as parts, and not the totality of who you are or what you are experiencing, you create a space that can bring in context rather than drowning in the content.

The result is a new awareness of yourself as a divine creator seeking to know and experience Love, and often knowing Love is to know Pain until we don’t need it anymore. There is a world of You that you get to become privy to. I call it your YOUniverse because, yeah, you are that damn big and that damn amazing, whether parts of you want to believe it or not. Let’s go find out together.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

‘Peak Fear’ Moves Into Love From Within: SoulFull Heart Weekly Museletter (Jan 28, 2019)

It’s the release of our weekly Museletter! Offering ALL of our writings, videos, events, healing offerings, and audio blogs for the week. Go read it here!

This week’s Museletter launches with an article by Facilitator Kalayna Colibri, who offers some insight into current energies moving through. She invites you to feel the phase we are in now as a phase of ‘peak fear’, meaning that all of the fear reactions and fear-based ways of living and relating to life are coming forward and being flushed out. This also means that we have the opportunity to see how this is playing out within us and move into a new way of living starting there:

Parts of you may be good at finding the next righteous battle to fight or protest to walk with. Anything ‘against’ brings in more of this energy and doesn’t actually break the cycle of harm and abuse. Being with the new reality where this is no longer needed doesn’t relieve us from feeling the cries of the world, yet, what are the cries of your inner world? How are these energies of abuse happening inside of you? Fighting them on the outside becomes a never ending war. If we are to evolve and ascend beyond war being a major focus of our human and also galactic consciousness, we have to start within.

Tomorrow, Feb 2nd, at 11am PST, Jelelle Awen will be hosting a virtual group session and digestion over Zoom, for those who have been taking in her ‘Deepen’ series and wish to have some dedicated space to share what they’ve been experiencing through it. Attendance is by donation ($11 USD minimum). More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/events

Raphael and Jelelle Awen will be facilitating an in-person group session on March 9th from 10:00am to 5:00pm PST in Victoria, Canada for $111 CAD minimum donation. The group session offers resonant soul community, individual process digestion space, and high-vibration connections.

Many new articles to take in this week from Jelelle Awen, Raphael Awen, Gabriel Heartman, Kalayna Colibri, and Devon Heart Star. Energy updates, new ways to feel and take in your own process, and many ways to bridge from your heart to parts of you are all here for you to receive.

Lots of Sacred Feminine and Masculine love and vibes to let in during this week’s ‘Deepen’ videos! Jelelle also shares about healing deep trauma, accessing other lifetimes/timelines, meeting your ‘Veil of Amnesia’, and more.

Raphael, Jelelle, Gabriel, and Kalayna (Kalayna is available to serve women 25 and under) offer 1:1 90min Bridging Sessions to help boost and digest your Ascension process and feel with you what your next steps are towards your highest timeline possibilities. These sessions are available for $55 USD minimum donation per session. More information can be found here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

We love to share our offerings with you and would enjoy receiving whatever heart donation in the form of money you feel that resonates with our offerings. You can go to our donation page for more info on how to donate: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Way of Life! If you’d like to receive these Museletters directly and automatically in your email every week, you can subscribe on our website at: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/writingmuseletters

Check out the latest Museletter here.

Sacred Masculine Healing Guided Meditation – DAY 29: 33 DAYS DEEPEN W/ Jelelle & Raphael Awen & Gabriel Heartman (VIDEO)

DAY TWENTY-NINE: DEEPEN 33 Day Video Series – Sacred Masculine Healing Guided Meditation W/Raphael & Jelelle Awen & Gabriel Heartman

 

This is day twenty-nine of 33 in my daily video series called Deepen. In today’s video, SoulFullHeart Facilitators Raphael Awen and Gabriel Heartman join me to talk about healing of the sacred masculine. Both of them share their experience of working with parts of themselves, such as the Inner Teenager/Child, Inner Protector, etc. to heal trauma from lack of initiation and invalidation that men receive. Healthy initiation and validation becomes possible through connection with the Divine Father, integration of these parts of self, and karmic healing from other timelines/lifetimes.

Raphael and Gabriel also talk about sacred masculine sexuality and healing of the lingam from non-vulnerable penetrative energies to open hearted and vulnerable sexual expression. Feelings of inadequacy and powerlessness are also issues that they feel lead to the expression of woundedness in men.

In the meditation today, Gabriel and Raphael lead you into an exploration of a sacred masculine roundtable. Your wounded masculine aspects parts receive love and healing in the roundtable as you take in frequencies of Divine Father and supportive brotherhood frequencies.

Thank you for joining us on this twenty-nineth day of 33….as we move into Deepening energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

More about parts/Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

You can watch all the videos in the series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist…

I will be hosting a group session over Zoom to digest your experience during this series for a $11 USD minimum. The next one will be on Saturday, February 2nd at 11:00am PST. More info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/2189383564650970/

You are welcome to share your experiences of this guided meditation here on FB and I will respond to your sharings.

Jelelle Awen
1:1 bridging and ongoing sessions available with me for women over 25 and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators (Gabriel and Raphael with women/men and Kalayna with woman 25 and under) to deepen this connection with your Protector, Inner Child, Lemurian, and other precious parts/Metasoul aspects! More info here:soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

 

 

 

Gabriel: Rebirthing And Arising King Of Heart… Happy Birthday!

by Kalayna Colibri

I don’t think we will ever fully understand this unraveling mystery of us… our connection that somehow keeps opening out, even with moments of tension, fear, and remembering the poignancy of what we have together. We have walked out many crucibles individually and as a couple too, including years of moving through different forms and depths of connection in our relationship together.

I feel how far we’ve come… how far you’ve come as a leader, a King-man, a lover, and heartist, and how that keeps everything alive! You’re in a new phase of really wearing your crown and showing up as the WayShower through the shadowland that you ARE. I have never met anyone who loves their shadow more than you, beloved. You have been so courageous and willing to keep going in and not faltering in that quest. I deeply admire and love you. I feel my parts appreciating your light and your encouragement, overflowing from the ways in you love love and encourage your own parts to keep showing up and keep feeling. Your beacon is lighting up… your inner space is broadening to let in more of those you’re meant to serve through this being that you are and keep becoming more of every single day.

For you… ❤️

Built on impermanent sands this castle is

Phase after glorious phase

With frolicking roses and the tallest trees,

Fertile ground for fruitful bounty

Of where lovers hearts can go together.

Foraging love from each bush and channel

Each shadowed branch

From seeds unknown

Brings new mystery to this USness

We have only just discovered

Has more depth

Than we could have known

In previous lifetimes in THIS lifetime!

With expanding wings,

glistening crown,

And elaborate shell,

Your eagle King

And turtle monk

Serve love with you

In all moments

And each turn of your heart-light

Toward the new and renewed.

I am honoured

And in deep admiration

Of the man that is you…

Thank you…

For all you are

All you will be

And all you call for me to see in me too.

I love you! ❤️🔥

Happy Birthday!

Love,

Kalayna

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Lunar Eclipse Supports Feeling Shadow of Polarizations, Invites Unity

By Kalayna Colibri

Last night while witnessing the moon’s eclipse and feeling it hanging very close to my field, I was struck by a feeling of emerging sisterhood in my life and process, yet also the potential for it worldwide.

Yet… the temptation for many seems to still be that the way to unify is in anger. The way to find our common ground is to get pissed. To rage. To march. To condemn the masculine… in men yet also in each other. This is masculine versus masculine in the end, leaving the world inside and outside of us without any room for the sacred masculine AND feminine to unite and make love.

Pointing fingers, protesting, arguing without care of where and how it lands in each other is a phase of our relationship to each other that wants to move into something new. It’s a deep shadow expression of our fear of actually loving ourselves and each other. It’s a fear that the cycles of pain will continue while we continue to become a cog in the wheel, contributing to this cycle with that same fear. Real intimacy brings up a lot more than anger and push-away. It brings up tears and vulnerability, it brings up what’s underneath the rage and presses the heart to open in order to keep giving and receiving nourishment.

This picture of relationship I’m describing is not idealized or impossible… I get to live this every day, I get to be challenged by the presence of others who want to keep this flow going within themselves and with me, I get to feel and meet the challenge of continuing to move through my resistance to love and to keep letting it in… knowing full well that doing so means walking into fires of personal funeral pyres as the old way of approaching life and others passes away, and also knowing that it means getting to experience the heaven of a deeper and easier love flow than I’ve ever experienced before.

Even last night… sharing intimacy with my mate Gabriel, feeling his admiration of myself, my body, my heart and soul, I felt my admiration for his and let his male gaze into every pore. I felt so many tears come up and out like a fountain, feeling the pain of my soul and heart in relating to the masculine in ways that weren’t nourishing on either side and feeling afraid of it. Feeling the pain of a collective of women and what they’ve experienced and also the pain of the men who have not ever been initiated into how to make real love with a woman and what it feels like to be truly met or felt on their side either.

The more energy that’s spent in blame-game shaming and pushing away at each other, the less opportunities we create for the deep healing and nourishing intimacy that’s possible, that wants to bloom and blossom starting between parts of you that are polarized to each other but who want love more than anything else in this world. Starting to see and feel these dynamics within is the best and most profound way to shift what you draw in your outer relationships and what you start to see is really possible with each of them. ❤️

For support as you go into this territory and really feel how it all applies or could apply to you, my beloveds and I hold sacred session space for these explorations and more: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Ascension Energies Amplify And Support Inner Masculine Healing

This inner quest continues. The quest of the masculine to get to know itself. I use the pronoun “it” to denote an energy rather than a gender. This quest is fueled by curiosity and desire. Not a need to overcome, master, or fix. It wants to feel its power, its strength, and courage. It also knows there is the shadow to look at in response to that.

Recently there has been a mainstream appeal to what is being labeled as “traditional” or “toxic” masculinity and its effect on society. This is receiving praise as much as it is receiving ire. There is a masculine voice within some men that defends against a notion it is responsible for the ills of the world. It feels attacked and judged for the actions of certain individuals.

I can feel where this is true coming from a particular perspective, from this part I should say. As we are becoming more aware of what has been happening in the darkest parts of our collective, there is a rumbling that is occurring. There is a network of voices that are coming out to join forces against a very institutional, subtle, and not so subtle, part of our society. The wounded masculine is getting a light shined on it and it is very uncomfortable.

The reactions can come as far as saying that there is a war on men and that boys are going to be turned into weak and feckless adults. When I hear that all I can feel is this masculine’s judgment toward the feminine. Yes, I can see where boys and men are not inhabiting their power and are in need of heart-open initiation that offers them power WITH the feminine and not OVER the feminine. No, we are not all bad guys, but we have unconscious habits and perspectives that do need authentic and curious exploration if we are going to evolve as a society.

This rush to defense, to me, signifies a soul wound that is in deep protection. I think there is a legitimate caution to not create a generalization that takes us in some polarized reaction. I am not “one of those guys”, but I do know as part of the collective male/masculine psyche I do have things to feel into and uncover within myself. That is the next level for all of us to consider when we talk about ascension and healing. It is not a blame game, but a deep and serious look at what is at play underneath our hoods. This is equally true for women.

My desire is to create a healthy dialogue and personal invitation to what this exploration may reveal about ourselves and our nature as men. It is to take us into a new relationship with our masculinity AND our feminity. This is what I feel we are being offered by Love in all Its energy fluxes and activations. This is the year of the arising sacred masculine within all of us.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

The Sanity Of Your INsanity

The thinning of the veil is elucidating your most hidden places. The ones you thought you had under control or weren’t even aware of. The contentedness is slowly losing its hold on your emotional reality. What I want to offer here is that there is a life-line. It is to actually go INsane. Which in this way means to go “into the healthy”. In our fear-based consciousness, we have turned away from going into the deep emotional as the Holy Grail of our greatest gift to ourselves.

These energies have been called our inner Demons. They have felt like a haunting to some. An intense barrage of thought and emotion that have been medicated by all sorts of prescriptions, whether drugs, or sex, or anything else that has aided as a distraction. Some may just be living with it trying to “get by” as best they can. I want to give a voice to these “demons”, for they are actually your unheard and unfelt angels. They have a message to deliver to you and you just haven’t had the means to be able to actually hear without being overwhelmed.

You are not crazy. You are becoming very sane. You are being gifted with your soul’s calling and the messengers of Love. You can choose what messages to take in and when, for you are the leader in this new world you will have created for yourself when you have taken the first step to go in and feel all the parts of you that have a voice, and that need you.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Inner Masculine/Feminine Balance Guided Meditation – DAY 15: 33 DAYS DEEPEN W/JELELLE & RAPHAEL AWEN (VIDEO)

DAY FIFTEEN: DEEPEN 33 Day Video Series – Inner Feminine & Masculine Balance

Guided Meditation W/Jelelle & Raphael AwenThis is day fifteen of 33 in my daily video series called Deepen. Today, my beloved and SoulFullHeart Facilitator Raphael Awen joins me to talk about inner feminine and masculine balance. Raphael shares about a process that he is holding with his inner masculine and feminine parts/aspects to explore where there is more doing, linear, and power driven masculine rather than a balance of masculine energy with feminine heart presence. Jelelle shares about how this applies to the inner masculine for women (as represented by the Protector.)