Tag: Intimacy

Emotosomatic Healing: The Deep Roots Of Parts Work

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

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My recent back and neck pain has found a home in my heart. What I mean by that is that through a deep emotional movement and process with my beloved Kalayna, and energy sessions with Jelelle, the intense spasms and stiffness got felt in a deeper emotive root. The part of me that was using the pain as a protection and a way to get my attention was able to surrender into vulnerability and trust in the open hearts of both myself and my mate. It was an experience that demonstrated the power of our emotions and intimacy to transmute and heal.

Though the term “psychosomatic” is more commonly used, we feel that it is the emotional body that is ‘upstream’ of the mental body. Our emotions are energy in motion that translate into thoughts that have their own waveform and power. So, yes, what I was thinking was having a huge impact on my body, but what I was thinking was stemming from an emotive ground. So more specifically our physical ailments are “emotosomatic”, as coined by Jelelle.  This is an agreeably mental distinction, but it feels important to highlight how physical pain is framed in SoulFullHeart without a claim that we have THE answer. It comes from our experience. One that is very evident to me.

The original source came from waking up one morning, after Kalayna and I had decided to move in together, with slight neck and back pain. This grew in intensity without an experience of an outside event such as a fall. It grew so fast and so intensely  that it rendered me on the couch, as even walking in the neighborhood felt painful. Kalayna and I were not able to really be close to each other as the pain found its way between us. While it is easy for our 3D self to take it at face value and just deal with the reality at hand, if we are to truly embody that what we experience IS a creation of our own power and making, then what was the suffering and pain all about? This is the place to go in curiosity and true self-awareness.

A part of me was using the severity of the pain as a way not to really feel the deeper root underneath it all. I found myself fusing to the pain, meaning I wasn’t able to see outside of it. For those that have major chronic pain, it is understandable and I get it. BUT, if we are to truly get through the pain it needs be gotten under. This is where conscious intimacy, especially romantic, can have such a powerful effect. Kalayna, and a part of her, had to be honest with its impact on us and her.

It was hard to feel that, and not feel the impulse to be defensive and resort to a state of powerlessness. In the tears, we felt our romantic past and how a pattern was repeating itself. I could begin to feel the difference between me now and me then and how much I, Gabriel, needed and wanted a sacred union but another part of me was in resistance for various reasons.  Using her gift of intuition, she helped me to feel some other dimensional layers that resulted in a vulnerable holding of an aspect of me that has been in isolation for so long. The touch of another brought significant tears that held the energy of trauma and loneliness.

The next day I found myself in a dramatically different physical space and was even to go out to dinner and enjoy some walking around town. Totally unimaginable the day before, as I could barely get off the couch and walk around the apartment. More poignantly, I am feeling this aspect of me in my heart and not in my spine any more. The pain was felt at its root and is now a process in my heart that I can  be with consciously. A deepening occurred between Kalayna and myself and we can now start to feel what else is there for us to feel with the pain out of the way. It brought us to a vista of what lies between our hearts and souls to heal.

I felt very inspired to share this personal experience to demonstrate the power of parts work and the nature of pain as based in the emotional body. There is so much to learn about ourselves and what lies in between us and real love. There are souls that have taken on huge physical challenges that are meant for their own growth in ways that can only be illuminated by going into the heart and feeling the hidden pain that lies in the deep emotional and spiritual roots.  What is it that your soul is wanting you to finally heal? Ask your pain. Ask for help.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Letting In Joy That Comes From INtegration And INtimacy

Published on by Jelelle Awen2 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

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Just feeling much joy in the moment, goodness about my life and where ALL this is headed….even when it is hard, dark, challenging, necessarily painful at times. THIS return to joy, the natural bubbling up of it that especially comes when you have gone in and through something difficult inside of yourself….it creates this sense of trust that it will be worth it to GO IN. To feel. To BE. To connect.

The veils continue to be so thin between other lifetimes that going in is doesn’t even seem optional at this point…esp. for those of us awakening. I have been in that inner process this week with a new Metasoul (‘past life’/other lifetime) aspect of mine from an ‘Ancient Greece’ timeline…that has been quite a bit to navigate at times. Feeling her tears and her fears…and in connection with a Metasoul counterpart from the same timeline of Raphael‘s which he shared about yesterday in his beautifully vulnerable posting about his process. These two Metasoul aspects had angst, power plays, are lovers and yet had little intimacy as they both tend to push it away. None of this feels like it is in the past or actually ‘ancient’ so these energies are strong and influential. As we bridged to them inside of ourselves, we then created a NEW bond between them….including beginning the process of changing a tragic outcome to their timeline.

The presence of these two Metasoul aspects of ours was around as we made love in the early morning, and I could feel them taking in the goodness, pleasure, heart connection, and soul connection that Raphael and I experience together. It is interesting to have Metasoul aspects ‘witness’ in this way, especially during love making, and it def. brings a wonderful, multidimensional frequency, a soul richness to it! And sometimes tears come as soul pain and karmic binds are washed out by love. It feels like such a blessing to have a partner go into these grounds with me, in the flesh, navigating all these dimensional realities and in life too.

The void can be an aspect of this process and may even be a necessary one for you, as I wrote about yesterday……yet, too, inviting self intimacy into your life with genuine joy and loving presence when you are ready then ALLOWS for intimacy to come with others in ways that are so nourishing, intimate, deep, and meaningful. These new textures of intimacy help wash away the trauma and pain from the previously dissatisfying experiences of relationships. Connecting with the parts of you that resist this intimacy, that want to protect you from getting hurt, that guard your heart, I feel is SO important to experiencing this intimate self relationship and with others too….it certainly has been for me and my Beloveds. You can read more about the process we offer around parts work/Metasoul connection and integration here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess

Raphael and I will be hosting a live stream in about three hours….at 11:11am CST on our SoulFullHeart Facebook Page and You Tube Channel….you can ask us questions in the moment about ascension, spirituality, emotional body healing, parts work, the SoulFullHeart process, 3D/4D/5D selves, sacred union, sacred sexuality, connection with Guides/Metasoul aspects, disclosure. Ask in the moment or you can offer your question here and we’ll respond to it during the livestream, which will probably last about an hour:https://www.facebook.com/soulfullheartwayoflife/?pnref=lhc

We’ll also be hosting a SoulFullHeart group call on November 11 at 11:11am CST (couldn’t resist that lovely repeating number energy) offering teaching, guided meditation, and personal sharings for a $11 min. donation/energy exchange:https://www.facebook.com/events/124047068285647

WE’d love for you to join us in the joy, the radical realness, the GIFTs and the learning….in the LOVE.

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond.

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

We Are A Mysterious Love Story

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

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Love stories captivate us because we can feel so much of our own desires and reflections in them. They represent our deepest yearnings and lived-in experiences. They help us to feel what it is that lies underneath that which is underneath. We ache for connection so that we can see and feel ourselves in ways we have hard time seeing on our own. So the story is also about us. Our own desire to feel the love within us that is solely about us. As this is cultivated through much inner work, the story seeks to hear itself through the heart of another.

We live in a love story. We are writing it everyday. How we run from it, dampen it, hide it, surrender to it, and dance with it. There are parts of us that are working extra hard each and every moment to keep from really feeling it because of its capacity to change everything in an instant.  The current stories we are living in other dimensions have a huge impact on how we are weaving this one together. Are we recapitulating some of the same themes over and over, or have we chosen to consciously rewrite the script to match what our highest timeline wants for us? What it is we ultimately want, but are too afraid to just ask for and pursue. There is a lot at stake for the part of us that has been keeping the story rolling just fine the way it is, even if it is suffering over it.

There is a timing of it all too.  The Divine, I am learning, truly knows best even if we haven’t the faintest clue of the whys. It is the work of feeling our inner world, going into the depths of our story consciously to see why we wrote it the way we did and if that is the way we want to continue writing it. We see things when we need to see them and when something else in the plot has shifted first. Not a minute before or a minute after. It is all perfect and all we are doing is giving it a little boost along the way by choosing to participate in this actively and with the awareness that we are in a mystery.

I write this as I have found my heart in a state of joy after really letting in the woman that has been in my life for the last 5 years, Kalayna Colibri.  We began as facilitants in SoulFullHeart, then had a few incarnations as mates, had months of non-contact, and then reemerged as close friends but always with that deep care that seemed to follow us where ever we were.  We could not go back into another romance for our inner stories had not been ready for it.  Other plot pieces needed to weave in and out, and we needed our own time to actively engage in healing the chapters of the “past”.  As we began to feel more of our own uniqueness and our own self-love could we begin to see each other in a new way than before.  We could feel how the love that was always there just needed to be put in a special place so other story lines could take their place.

I suppose the lesson in this for me is that you never really “know” what the Divine has in store for you or what blind spots you are given until it is time to be seen. What is true is that those blind spots are only removed as we continue to go into our own inner stories. As we begin to heal all the ways in which we continue to keep love at bay. It is through rereading our 3D story with all its cast of characters that allows us to really see what it is that we are truly needing to heal in order to let in more of the love that is sitting right in front of us. And for that I am infinitely grateful and amazed to be a part of this new chapter in our lives together.

More writing to come from a brand new sacred romance taking flight.  🙂

If you are curious to reveal your own mysterious love story we offer free 30 minute intro sessions to see if the SoulFullHeart Way of Life healing process is part of that unfolding. More information can be found here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions
This Sunday at 11:11am CST, Raphael Awen and I will be discussing more about the overall process and what space-holding sessions are all about and how they guide and inform your awakening and healing path. More info here:

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

This Creative, Love-Flowing Time Of Day!

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

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Early morning is my favourite ‘time’ of day… this time of creative flow even though I’m still sleepy and full of ‘work’ with my online job. My life is incredible, it really is. There were so many years when I couldn’t imagine that I would be living this way, yet I so wanted to. I couldn’t possibly have envisioned exactly how this would go or what this life lived in service of love would look and feel like. There was always a fantasy of living amongst others who shared my level of consciousness and challenged me to keep expanding it. Retreats and spiritual conferences were great but not enough – I needed and wanted to make spirituality my life.

This time of day (early morning) is also when my beloveds in my community of SoulFullHeart and I start dialoguing over Google Hangouts. We live in the same building, more or less, yet this is our way of staying in touch and also being in our own sacred spaces. The love exchange is there underneath all correspondence, even if reactions are being shared and processed or guidance is being held and given as to where we need to go next inside of ourselves and inside of our relationships to one another. It’s something I could try and describe to you, yet it’s just a unique experience that extends well beyond ideas of ‘unconditional’ love. We love each other deeply but are so willing to let go, let be, let arise, without unfair expectations, at least after this much time and process and this many phases together. We are a close-knit group but we have done a lot of personal work to have this level of intimacy. My place in this community has had its ups and downs and times of turning sideways too. Every single minute of tension and exhilaration has been so worth it though, to be able to transact love in this way, and to FEEL so much love for myself AND for them! There is nothing I can compare this to. It is the closest thing to ‘Golden Earth’ I have ever experienced in THIS life, where love is the container, the contender, the artist and the canvas too.

I’m being moved to share this experience in this moment, because of love overflow I feel from nourishing time with Jelelle yesterday, feeling the love and care from Raphael as he helps me clean, paint and fix-up my new suite I’m moving into soon (same building, just a bit bigger for my dog and I), and the ongoing love I feel between Gabriel and I, my best soul friend who I have been through so much with. I am brimming over with gratitude and love for them and for ME too… so much so that tears are coming. I have been intensely immersed in a new chapter for myself, training and doing practicums for a new online job that will pay better and have better hours than my current one. And it’s all happening in the name and flow of love and serving love too, as this means more money to share with my community and more space in my day to serve facilitants and also through my creativity, wherever it wants to take me.

It has taken a lot of process to really see, feel and let in what I have in SoulFullHeart – the work itself, my parts, the people, and most of all the LOVE. Gratitude and appreciation of been a long time coming, and this genuine, heartfelt flow of it that I can now feel is one that truly brings tears and the warmest feeling in my heart that I have ever experienced. It is a true feeling of being held by the Divine, by my own heart and self-love and also by the love I am IN with OTHERS. There is nothing that compares to commUNITY. At least nothing I’ve experienced or can speak from!

There is nothing I want more than to share this with more people. To have more of you jump in with us, though of course this is challenging… the hardest part is the awakenings within, the stirrings of arising process, realizations that you have much to heal as a human AND a soul and that it ALL changes you and your life in big ways, though the changes may feel subtle at first in some cases. Yet, it is so worth it and that worth and reward can only be experienced personally. ❤

We are holding another group call over Zoom (online) tomorrow at 11:11 am CST (Mexico City) if you’d like to join us. You’ll be able to immerse with us for 2 full hours and even be given the space to share if you wish. Silence is okay too. It’s a lot to take in. We are a lot to take in. This ‘new’ frequency of LOVE is a lot to take in! Here is the link to the event if you are interested in learning  more: //www.facebook.com/events/271320303342295

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Gifts Of Exploring Conscious Romance

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

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Our intimate relationships are sacred grounds of getting to feel and see ourselves.  We GET to experience what is rumbling inside of us that has been kept at bay in our subconscious.  These parts of us that have been living is a safety zone of incognito through the protection of our comfortability.  When our deepest desires begin to ring out into the cosmos, the mechanics of manifestation begin to offer their services.  But when they do, it is meant to bring up what is needed in order to let in what is wanted.

We aren’t completely aware of what lies in the space between what we feel consciously and what is in our unfelt wounding until we enter the arena of conscious relationship.  In unconscious unions, there are many reactions and emotions that are left untouched and unexpressed in our part’s desire to maintain image and safety.  These are sacred unions in there own right as they are meant to serve us into a new dimension of relationality when we have chosen that other sacred journey of growth and deepening.

These conscious relationships will manifest in ways that may or may not come in the ways or forms parts of us may have expected.  They come to us to help elucidate the woundings and projections that are still residing inside of us that, when held in conscious relationship inside of us through parts work, can bring us to new depths of both inner and other intimacy.  However, there can be a LOT to feel and integrate along the way.  There can be a tendency for parts to exit, to go back to what was more comfortable to them before.  This is a point where, if true growth, self-love, and intimacy are the ultimate desire, we hold these parts within us and feel what the fear is truly about.  What experiences in this or another life are contributing to the need for retraction?  These can be difficult yet necessary to feel if we are to continue on our way to more authentic, conscious, and intimate transactibility.  The way to Love!

Our vulnerable truth in any moment is our guide in this dance.  There is no guarantee we won’t step on our partners toes and cause some pain.  We aren’t meant to be perfect or “right” in the way we reveal ourselves.  In these moments, we cross bridges previously left uncrossed to change the timelines of the old and create something new.  It may not be pleasurable, yet it could lead to something more pleasurable than what parts of us were expecting or ironically afraid of in the first place.  For if the bond deepens and rises, what more is there to experience and how far might we fall as it keeps going?  This is what is really at stake for these parts of us.  Being left with the pain of being hurt once again.  Yet with a true sense of an authentic, centered self, we are big enough to feel and hold our way through the process.

Conscious romance is the next frontier for our evolution as a species.  Both inner and outer. It starts inside of us first and extends outward.  It is why we are here in many ways.  To explore this deepening and expanding that can create a new world of possibility, creativity, and aliveness.  Whatever happens in the process you can be guaranteed that you will experience and discover more about You and what it is you really want from Life and Love.

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We will be teaching more about sacred union, offering a guided meditation, plus space for individual sharings during a Sacred Union Group call this Sunday at 11:11am CST if you would like to join us for a $11 min. donation:www.facebook.com/events/275463096260878. If you can’t join us live, we’ll be sharing a recording of the teachings and meditations here on FB.

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

A Fireplace For Your Fires In These Ascending Times

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

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So many intense reactions can be surfacing during these ascending times.  You may be conscious of their root, and possibly not.  They may live on the inside as repressed truth, or may find themselves playing out dramatically on the outside.  Either way fires are being lit as Love’s match stick makes its way into our lives.  It wants to burn away and spark UP.  Shed and renew.  Find out what is really going on in that Human heart of yours.  I see an inner landscape of multiple flames that range in small bush burnings and others as 4-alarm blazes.  This is the geography of our emotional body when left out of our own INtrospection and exploration.

Heaven knows how much I remember that.  I could feel it viscerally and was in so much desperation to find that inner fire extinguisher.  It was too smokey to see the writing on the wall that said, “In Case Of Emergency…FEEL”.  Back then, to feel meant to get burned.  It meant to go through some intensity that was not part of the desire of just maintaining some false sense of  “this too shall pass”. Not truly understanding that this was all part of the way to get to something more peaceful and less flammable.  What I really needed, and did realize it, was a fireplace to contain it all.

I am expanding on an analogy that has been used in SoulFullHeart before.  Not sure where it originated but it felt like and apt reminder to all that is happening on an energetic level.  The fireplace is the process of parts work and the intimate community that supports it.  As these fires arise and burn, the process itself is activated.  It lends a safe place for the fire to burn AS its energy is felt and released.  The fireplace can be a space-holder, a sacred relationship, your authentic self, and ultimately Life and the Divine Itself.

It is having the trust ground form withIN yourself that life is not out to get you.  That you are not a victim and that we are ultimately creating our circumstances to reflect what needs to be felt to make room for more.  It is wrapping a context around the content of the fire itself.  We suffer when we stay too long in the contents of the blaze until we become consumed by it.  We will get burned.  That may be unavoidable.  But within this container there is a time and space for this healing.  It doesn’t burn your house down.  Rugs may get scared, couches get discolored but you are left intact with another lesson, and more room to let the love that you ultimately want in the door.

We have spent so long without this environment to let our parts feel the safety and importance of this alchemical burn.  It was just too scary as we have hurt and been hurt in the process of forgetting and remembering.  It takes time to get used to for sure.  To convince the protective part of you to really feel it is safe enough to explore these fires and even light them on purpose.  To feel trust enough that regardless of the hurt and pain that may arise, a healing balm of Love is right at our disposal.  This happens in negotiation and making one courageous leap of faith at a time until it is just the way you live your life and the fires turn into passion, not pain.

If you feel interested in feeling into this fireplace called SoulFullHeart and what it can offer your deepest needs and passions, visit here.  There are so many energies coming in that having someone to feel it with you along the way provides a sane and safe place to digest it.  It is also a call to create a large community of love-hearted souls to expand this family and bring in even more frequencies that we could possibly imagine on our own.  We are going to need to do some serious remodeling of our heart space, and the fireplace that lets it all in.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Healing Our Way To Sacred Romance

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

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There are times when we need love to not be so ¨nice¨ and instead be very direct and real. Matter of fact, true love shuns nice, as that is only a cover to something that is trying to avoid what is real and protects self-image. Love can be compassionate and gentle, but that is not the same as nice. When offered a mirror with direct love and advocacy of self and other, we are able to see what lies unseen and unfelt by our very own heart eyes.

It is an awkward moment and can press on a lot of other buttons that can only serve a shut down. When this reflection is held within a larger container of a desire to grow and let in more love then we can be with that reaction in a way that moves us from closed to open. From fear to more love.

As a man exploring and choosing to inhabit sacred romance, the layers of what holds resistance come to the surface in a way that is no longer avoidable if you no longer want to continue doing the same things that have kept real love from entering your kingdom. We have to be willing to face some hard reflections but how we are with those reflections are what set us in a new direction of openness instead of contraction. It is the old way of how the patriarchal parts of us have related to intimacy. As each one of us chooses to go in and heal that part or parts of us, then we in turn heal the patriarchy itself.

I do not come at this with judgement toward myself or others. That only continues the cycle. I hold this with an open heart and a desire to let go of what has, and no longer does, serve my desire to heal and see my inner King. I am very grateful to the women in my life who have helped me to see this and to the one man I have met that has so boldly gone where most men fear to tread. This is a new day for me as I go forward into the deep waters of what Love was always meant to be like.

Today I AM in a sacred union mateship with another beautiful female soul that has the courage and passion for the same. And THAT is what I have been calling for. Time to let that in and see how much fun can be had beyond what parts have believed is possible.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Entering Conscious Intimacy

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

122

Entering into new intimate relationship, whether romantic, soul friendship, or with a community, there is an immediate rush of excitement and healthy fear.  There is an awareness that life as you now know it will not be the same.  Our soul knows this and advocates for this as it is never meant to stay in stasis.  We may have been praying for this for a long time consciously, or sometimes it just hits us out of the blue (at least to our conscious self anyway).  When it does and when it is something that is truly meant to be a game changer, there is inevitably a rumble that enters the emotional body that brings up layers of resistance even among the excitement and curiosity.

For some this is a time to walk along the river bank, noticing its terrain, and its taking in the rivers’ waters.  Stepping on each stone with reverence and caution.  Maybe at some point one hits that certain stone and just slips right in and away they go!  For others it is a full-on dive into the unknowable and letting each twist and turn arise with what they need next for their growth.  Either way something sacred is being entered into and will assuredly change us in ways that we can never fully know.

The guide here is our own vulnerability.  That is the life vest.  It keeps us current of each step, and of each turn.  The more we are able to bring our fears and resistances, the more we are able deepen our relationship to ourselves and others.  To be in a process ground and community like SoulFullHeart, you are given handrails and heart support all along the way.  This is through both human and ethereal relationship.  It is a brand new paradigm for our protectors to let in that we are not in this alone.  That even in the fear of losing everything, the greatest gift is feeling that all the way to its core to find the You that is holding it.

This new conscious intimacy that makes way for more ground of deepening and expanding is a magic in itself.  Those that have started this process can attest the epic ways in which life has been forever shifted and changed.  Those that have just begun can tell that this is unlike anything they have ever encountered and are taking each new step as they come.  And there are those who walk along the bank waiting for that moment when it feels safe enough to enter.  All is part of the process set in motion long before we had any awareness of it.

I felt to take stock of what this conscious intimacy has been leading in my life and the life of others as we enter other unknown group call. What new depths will others become aware of?  What new connections will be made?  Who will be guided to answer the personal call for healing and community?  Or who will be enjoying the rushing waters of the SoulFullHeart energy and feel for themselves what their next steps are?

This all part of the dance of intimate relationship and how it has the power to make great changes no matter how far one ventures to walk.  It is Love that is leading the way and what ultimately happens is all in service to that Love we find ourselves so aching to feel.

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Feeling What We Really Want In Our Social Worlds As We Awaken

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

 

by Kalayna Colibri

our social worlds

On a Saturday night, I gaze among the busy social streets and walkways, humming with activity and energy and alcohol and friendship… sometimes coupled with drama and pain and backed-up emotional outbursts. During these party times, you can feel the buzz in the air that will soon be in every body, not just from substances taken in, but from the high of socializing, being among peers, perhaps finding love, sex or making new friends. There are grounds here that are healthy to explore and some that aren’t really in a sense, and yet it’s all sacred and it’s all ultimately a path to self-discovery and remembrance, even if this isn’t made conscious in the moments these selves, these individuals, these human BEings are in.

While young, being spiritual can find its place in you if this is what you’ve signed up for… exploring consciousness can sometimes happen with your peers, while at other times it won’t or just can’t. For a phase this journey with them can only go so deep and that’s fine with you for a while, but beyond that phase when that was enough, it’s not quite enough anymore. This is when values shift along with ideas of life and how to live it consciously and more fully. This is where certain areas of focus, ways to find pleasure, and paths to feeling a togetherness with others all rumble beneath your feet and in front of your eyes. This is where your life begins to turn itself upside down in countless ways as you begin to feel the need to push away, sometimes dramatically, sometimes subtly, but always in a way that reminds you, you are your own person and you have your own sense of what energies you need and want to be around as your self love heals and deepens.

There can be a fear arising then, for some… that no one will ever really “get” them or may judge them for walking away from the relationship. Parts of them form and begin to strategize to either stay alone out of fear of having and then losing intimacy at any level, or choose to merge in with whatever group of people they are around or whatever situation they are in, becoming one with all around them and not much of an individual in most ways. There is tension and yet also relief as you find your ways to take care of and love YOU as your number one priority. There is sometimes also flatness, as managing these ups and downs (that are hormonal, sure, but also a genuine awakening to soul and heart pain) can be a challenging crucible to hold and handle and be with. So much depends on who you choose to be around and talk to and lean into for support. This shopping around, seeking, searching experience is one that can be incredibly mind and heart-opening, fascinating, and ever-arising too, as resonance moves in and out in very necessary growth phases. This again changes the social circle you choose to be part of and certainly affects the one you currently have as you continue to awaken to the love you are and the love you want to experience between yourself and others. There are so many different dynamics that are possible here and that play out in different ways, with many possible outcomes… yet the risk is always the same – if I don’t stay the same and they do, I will be friendless again or even for the first time…

The strong soul-pull to discover and remember our purposes is something that is happening more and more with people of all ages and soul groups, especially right now with ascension processes accelerating for everyone, yet when it comes to indigo, crystal and rainbow souls, for example, these social awakenings can come very early in our lives as we came in with a powerful, mission-based focus that is natural for us to feel, yet not so natural to “know” exactly what to do with. It can be very challenging to finds ways to fit in with others in our peer group, not because we are victims to this (though parts of us understandably feel this way sometimes) but because we chose for this to be the case… after all, if we actually DID feel as if we totally, fully, completely “belonged”, where would our sense of mission and awakening to our soul gifts have room to happen, take hold and start manifesting in our lives? To not suffer around this, means going IN and feeling ourselves with reflections from teachers and mentors who have also been there and can help us learn to navigate it, often much better than our birth parents ever could – not necessarily because they didn’t want to try, but because in some ways they weren’t actually meant to be the ones to lead you onward and into this.

Throughout the majority of my life to date, having and keeping a thriving a social world was very challenging. This is partly because I was always very much IN my emotional states and didn’t have templating for how to actually BE with them and hold them… no adult around me could help with this and my peers had a hard time relating to me most of the time, plus it eventually became a tool for parts of me to actually push and keep others away. Then there was spirituality and the deepening of THAT for me… and now I am on a very powerful and ever-expanding path that spans both my emotional AND spiritual inner realities and THAT is rare, though it seems that more and more people, as they awaken, are realizing how connected these two realities are and that they need healing in both in order to fully embrace and live into ascension. In my experience and observation both, I can see and feel how this ground of being naturally very emotional and also spiritual has been and continues to be a tough crucible for many of us… awakening does come at a cost, yet is intended to invite us out of suffering while holding the parts of us who cling to suffering as a way to be in life. One of these ways in which we seem to choose to continue suffering, is by surrounding ourselves with relationships that do not have a deeply resonant ground. Our social worlds collapse and expand as we continue to grow… but not without love leading the way and guiding us to our next places inward that then draw our next circumstances outward.

Not having a full social world to ground you can be hard for some souls, yet for others it won’t be and that poses its own challenges. Choosing the path of the lone wolf is also hard and even though parts of you may be working to bury the loneliness somehow, it is still there. These parts can be held, worked with and healed deeply, allowing us to feel how we really, genuinely feel, what it is we most deeply want and who we actually want to be around and spend time with. Our loneliness is sacred and alchemical… it is creative. It is a space where we can feel our deepest aches and desires for mateship, for companionship, for a community of people that continually arise for us as we arise for them. Being afraid of feeling our loneliness is expected and normal, but holding these parts of us who feel this way teaches us so much about ourselves and offers us much healing when it is held in our hearts FOR us and WITH love and Divine guidance and company too… we are never really alone, though this can be hard to feel and let in. Yet sometimes alone-ness can be a grace, a place to genuinely feel what we need to feel, and an oven to bake our arising desires in.

Perhaps you are part of a social world right now that may be running out of ground for you, as your awakenings are helping you feel pictures and energies of the sort of love you want to feel from you to you and flowing from you to others and vice versa… in the end, the choice is yours as to what steps to take next, and there is no wrong answer or true misstep along the way. Even our biggest messes seem to offer us many gems of learning, growth and self-discovery. Letting go can be painful and hard, yet in the end, true service to a relationship of any kind starts with feeling what you genuinely want and need, while holding all relationships with an open hand and heart. This becomes a grace to you and your parts, and them and theirs too, as everyone is then free to go along their own path, however they see and feel it unfolding for them.

I would love to serve you and help you navigate this terrain that can be so challenging and yet hopeful too. You are meant to become more of your essence, your light, your soul purpose and mission. You are meant to lead and BE a big part of ascension and we all need each other more than perhaps we ever have before!

You can visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more information on session space.

Sending you lots of love and support… ❤

Kalayna

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcFKlEHwmc4

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Letting in what we really want

Published on by Raphael Awen1 Comment
By Wayne
Without realizing it, we configure life and relationships in such a way as to only get part of what we want, and to try to leave the rest of what we want off our radar.  Just enough to feel safe. Having more fulfillment than we are used to doesn’t feel safe at all. Drawing what we really and most deeply want in life is not the impossibility, or the matter of chance as we’ve made it out to be.
Drawing what we really want is difficult because it starts with letting ourselves have the want, admitting to ourselves and others that we are not happy with what we have, and seeing how we have played a huge role in setting up and maintaining the unfulfilling picture, and then taking steps towards what we really want. And then even though today is a continuation of yesterday in your life’s configuration and situation, you’ve changed direction, and you’ve changed the air quality, and you’ve changed the energy.

And those closest to you will likely not like it. If the friendship or relationship got it’s good start around an unspoken agreement to be a coping mechanism for the lack of fulfillment in your life, then the bond needs to hold to that in order to survive. Loyalty is often held up here as the greatest of all virtues.

I feel this consternation at times with Jillian. We both regularly reach out for more with each other. But we hit a wall inside of ourselves to let in what we discover. If Jillian finds more of herself and her fulfillment in life, how will that affect her desire towards me? If we find levels of fulfillment together that were before off our radar, how do we expect to maintain that? How do I expect to find that again if I were to lose Jillian? It pushes up a big performance piece for a man. If I held the space of passion and leadership, and did my part for this to arise, and it worked somehow, how do I expect to keep that happening? As a woman, she will probably let herself want that more than I am ready to as a man.

Sex is a really good place to see this vulnerability.  A man can dream of being with an attractive and sexual woman and all without feeling how he would never let himself truly have that as it would be crazy on many levels to be around.

Having more of what you really want is way more about letting it in, than finding it.

It starts with finding and getting to know the part of ourselves that resists letting in more.