Tag: parts work process

Global Events Illuminating Shadow During This Equinox Passage

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

The heart is feeling heavy with this latest news coming from New Zealand. A place that represented some last bastion of civility and kindness in the world to many parts of us. Not that it has lost such distinction but I could feel a bubble being burst in the collective. Almost like a heinous act being carried out in Disneyland. I admit I do not know New Zealand very well but it is the projection I am working with. I do know it has a relatively small crime rate…and then this.

With that backdrop, the events that happened in Christchurch are amplified. Deep despair flourishes. Ignited rage and seemingly unsolvable questions. Again the reactions are all understandable and necessary. They are part of the grieving and digestion process. How these tragedies can be prevented is a much needed discussion, but in my heart and soul the sadness lies in our human condition. Within the family of our humanity. If we focus on condemnation, persecution, litigation, and legislation I feel we are missing a deeper layer to this story. We are missing the message being sent to us via the lives of 49 souls.

These human brothers and sisters are connected to so many others in the world of atrocity. So many that go unheard yet happen everyday all over the world. Too many for us to let in the depth of. The world of social media has opened this Pandora’s Box of our collective shadow and also our collective heart. It tells our story even as it is hard to read many days. We are compelled as much as we are repelled. The rush to censure it really represents our fear of what lies in this shadow. We can’t put the top back on it. It is here and we are being drawn to face it with all the love we can muster so that we can heal it.

The radicalization of hate is reaction to a deep existential fear. A fear of losing identity, of sovereignty, of control. It is a well of unworth and a need to feel powerful when a large population is feeling powerless and scared. Love is highlighting where it has been held at bay out of this fear. A survivor of the shooting even said, “A part of me wants to kill him”. Of course it does. It was taken from and seeks something to make it feel better even when in the end justice can’t heal the pain of the tragedy. So the hate lives inside us all. Still. It is just coming out through those that are closer to it.

We cannot ignore what is plainly in front of our faces. The darkness still has work to do. We are being shown that we need to go into our own shadows as we grieve, react, and propose solutions. The energies of the Equinox are here to shed light on that which has been in the dark. Hidden and suppressed. It is guiding us to harness this light so that we can really see…everything. Not just what parts of us want to. This is the real grit of Ascension. It is not all rainbows and unicorns. It is not all hell either. It is our messy way toward embodied light and love.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

The Crucibles And Gifts Of Sacred Union

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

by Gabriel & Kalayna Solais

It’s in what we see in each other’s eyes. It’s alive in the touches of mutual nourishment and softness. It’s present in the sometimes fervent moments of conflict or advocating for each other or ourselves. We see each other as each other and yet as very different beings too, each with their own path and their own healing crucibles, riding alongside this mutually claimed healing crucible of being in Sacred Union… which we claim for its depth not its length.

A ‘successful marriage’, to us, means a commitment of heart, soul and body that has found all the depth it can in this current lifetime and phase too. It’s not about staying together ‘forever’. It’s about being in this exploration of a deeper bond with each other while feeling all it pushes up and yet helps heal too inside of each of us as individuals.

This is not a perfect process. We engaged in romance on a few occasions so that we could see deeper into ourselves at each turn. The blind spots, the shadow, is revealed in the dance of intimacy. At times they moved us to new places and new ground between each other, and at others they took us to a completion that sent us on a more singular quest of self-understanding and growth. Each one leading us to new awareness and new desires…..sometimes for others and eventually back again.

In this current revolution of our Usness (the bond that lives between each of our sovereign beings), we have chosen to go deeper into this soul pairing. We have felt parts of ourselves that relate to each other’s parts in different ways. Many of our differences and conflicts arise from the meeting of these parts and Metasoul aspects. This is the quantum healing that is possible inside of this kind of conscious union. We are not together to ‘ride it out’, but to go deeper into our growth and soul edges. We both have masculine and feminine parts relating to each other, soul contracts to feel and resolve, lifetimes of joy and pain to integrate together. We have felt our kings and queens, soldiers and maidens, priests and priestesses, and galactic counterparts.

~

Gabriel: The journey of Sacred Union with Other begins with Self. What we feel and see about ourselves is reflected in those we relate to, especially those we are most intimate with. The ache for Other that may reside within is in large part an ache for Self. As a part of this journey with my beloved wife Kalayna, it was a process of falling in love with me. My parts. My parts loving themselves and being loved by me. One big Me love fest. It is that love of self and selves that beacons and draws that which is alive on the inside.

~

Kalayna: When I look at Gabriel, most of the time I can see him on all of these different levels and layers of who he is. Yet, he arises as a mystery to me. Also, there are moments and days where the soul isn’t seen right away, where he is a body in a space shared with my own. These moments though, I’m grateful and happy to say, are few, because of the degree of mutual respect and reverence we have for each other that still continues to deepen.

At the end of the day, I’m grateful for every moment spent with him and every moment that this relationship has helped reflect to me my next places to go inside, even if this is the last day we have together in this romantic bond. I feel my parts pinging off of and interacting with different parts of him in this this-life dance we share. I also feel, especially during love making and moments of deepening together, the other-life dances our souls share, sometimes unbeknownst to us yet ever present somehow. I desire for more depth with him, to venture off into many sunsets with this man, riding this horse called “Sacred Union”, trusting the unfolding of the path we share.

~

Gabriel: We know each other well in some respects, but are a complete mystery in another. Kalayna has continued to arise as a woman and blossoming feminine leader whose scent gets sweeter and succulent each time. Her passion and shadow reflect mine. She activates and triggers what needs to as part of my own growth and response to my own leadership. This has happened both in and out of romance, but this Sacred Union calls something forward that is part of each other’s crucible of Love’s ambassadorship. It is us and more than us at the same time.

~

Kalayna: Love is always here with all of us, inextricably part of us yet also making up our whole being. We cannot be ‘left’ or ‘abandoned’ by it, though the imprint of feeling this way in the trauma of separation from Divine love especially has made it feel to parts of us like sometimes love really does ‘leave’. In past relationships, even in past phases of romance with Gabriel, I’ve felt parts of me cling to him as to a liferaft. I still feel where I need to go with parts of me in their sometimes over-attachment to him and the comfort and natural solace he brings to the relationship, in order to help them find that more with me than with him. This feels so important for any and all relationships in my life actually, and is what the main process is sometimes for me… to keep bringing it all back to me, back inward, to find, cultivate, and nourish the ultimate source of comfort and love there and with the Divine as well.

~

Gabriel: There have been times of complete overwhelm and resistance and other times of ecstasy and bliss. The in-between is what we navigate daily, surfing the realness of heart even if it risks an ‘end’. In reality, there is no end, but rather a moving on place. This is the crucible of my process as a man to be as vulnerable and real as I can and to feel and love the shadows that arise from such a difficult place for a part of me. This is the Real Deal. It is the Big Time. We both signed up for one of the most catalytic experiences in life. True conscious Sacred Union. I am excited and scared as hell at the same time. Who we will be and become are unknown and yet ready to be born. I couldn’t imagine doing it with anyone other than Kalayna.

~

Old ideas and conditioning that say that romance is really supposed to offer a ground of having someone to come home to who will love you unconditionally are still very much alive in our culture and embedded in our hearts and souls too from many different lifetimes of feeling abandoned especially by romantic love. The new sense of Sacred Union though, feels so different… it feels as if it wants to come from the transaction ground between two lovers who are in a mutual healing and maturation space, meaning that this cling to each other for reasons of quelling wounding for a while wants to move into something new, some new ground of relating that is based much more on health rather than dis-ease within. This is the sense of Sacred Union that we commit to with each other now… and we cannot know how deep this will go or how long it will last. Yet, to treasure what we have right now in this moment, even in this moment of writing this piece together, feels important and desired.

Much love to YOU and with YOU as you continue to explore your own journey of these Sacred Union grounds within… and possibly with an Other too, either in this moment or another moment to come. ❤

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

     ***
Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 30 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.



The Rise And Balance Of the Mental Body During The Equinox

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

I think therefore I am.

This was an invitation to go beyond what we “knew” about the world around us and dive into the world that resides within us. A philosopher’s creed. There was so much to think about in regards to the nature of existence and our place within it as humans. This heightened sense of cognition and curiosity led to so many discoveries in the mathematics of life. Pythagoras finding God in geometry. The inevitable rise of knowledge leading to power.

A mental grid blanket formed over the heart. Efficiency, productivity, invention, and progress became the engine of modern civilized industrialization. The masculine drive lost touch with its counterpart of intuition, cooperation, trust, kindness, and decency. It is not they do not exist, but they do struggle to find balance and a place at the table of humanity.

Even religion and spirituality can have its mental overlays that keep it “out there” rather than right “in here”. In the heart. In the now. It is not an attack on the mind, but rather a much needed and desired relationship to it. The unbalanced and unfelt masculine has been at war with itself and the world around it.

There is a sacred energetic poultice that is occurring here on Gaia during this Equinox. This mentalized and scared sacred part of ourselves is coming to the surface to be loved. To be felt in its protection, in its need for control, and its fear. This part has a lot of discernment and can be very unsentimental which is needed in certain situations. But it can be at the sacrifice of something quite innocent and tender inside of us.

This “mental body” has a name and a story. It has a deep purpose as a guide and a manifestor. It can be an Inner Protector, Inner Punisher, Inner Matriarch/Patriarch. Yet, when left unfelt it can create blocks to our emotional and spiritual bodies.

Raphael Awen and I will be discussing this (with both heart and mind) in our next Sacred Masculine video. We will seek to connect to this part of us to feel what it has to say about all the doing and thinking that has kept many of us from truly feeling and experiencing the kind of joy and expanded consciousness that is right there waiting for us to embody and experience beyond the mind.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Sacred Romance; Sacred Ceremony

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

Wow.

What a magical day it was yesterday. The weather could not have been more ideal (well, maybe a tad warmer, but not complaining!). Jelelle and my daughter Raianna wove a stunning tapestry of love for the ceremony with decor and an altar in honor of our Usness. Jelelle’s holding of the space was truly beyond words. Her words invited depth and spirit and could feel the multitude of being and lifetimes in the room with us.

Kalayna was just stunning in her dress and radiated and glowed with the love she came into this world with. I felt rather dapper in my thrift store finds (in full disclosure). We carried the love to the ocean where we felt The Divine grace us with jubilance and fanfare. Raphael spoke eloquently of feeling the mourning as well as the celebration which lets in the poignancy of the sacred moment. We commit ourselves not to its length but to its depth.

We were joined by a new friend to our intimate circle, Annie, as a heart and soul presence that so sweetly took in and reflected our love. Raianna brought us to tears with her words and guitar playing.

We are so blessed with everyone’s love and well-wishes in this new phase in our growth and service of love. We look forward to serving its overflow to the individual and the collective.

Much love back at you all,

Gabriel & Kalayna Solais (pronounced So-lay-is)

It is pronounced Solish in Irish/Scottish but we felt to be phonetic as it is easier. It means light and soul.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Addiction As A Portal Into The Heart And Soul

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

“What is gripping you as an addiction is actually a profound invitation and portal into what your heart and soul came here to learn.” – words from my teacher and partner Raphael Awen this morning.

Addiction is something anyone can be struggling with regardless of spiritual awareness. It is actually a portal INTO your spirituality that addiction can take you. At the root of this painful loop, is a feeling, an experience, a part of you that is in deep need to be felt. They can range from an inner protector/punisher, inner mother/father, teenager, child, or multidimensional self that is struggling to be and resonate in this dimension of existence.

For men, these addictions can range from alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, pornography, over-working, sex, unhealthy relationship, politics, news, depression, anxiety and even things that are intended to be positive such as spirituality itself. For women it can be closely related yet with differences. It is not the thing one is addicted to that is at question, but rather the relationship we have to it.

What is it that lies under the need for the thing itself? What is it that it is so very much wanting us to steer clear of? By accessing the inner world of parts can you then feel the one that is using the addiction as a safety net, or in many cases an blowhorn for your attention.

YOU are not the addiction. When one can find space between himself and the part that is addicted a whole consciousness comes into view that can lead to a healing relationship that is internally generated and held with support along the way. This part can begin the journey of receiving its needs through YOU, the centered heart, and not the object of the addiction. It can receive Love from the Divine and other spirits through this channel of You.

It is an ongoing and sometimes difficult journey that can only start with one question that leads to feeling. What is it that you need that you are not getting from the inside?

Raphael and I will be discussing this topic in our next sacred masculine live stream this Wednesday. Time to be announced, but it will be in the afternoon Pacific Time. The recording will be shared on our feeds and on our SoulFullHeart Experience channel. We are looking forward to hearing from many of you who are moving, or have moved through difficult addictions.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Dare To Lead With Love: A Message From Archangel Michael

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

Son Day. Sacred Masculine activation and Divine Father connection day. I felt an invitation from Archangel Michael this morning to step into a deeper relationship and partnership with him. An invitation for all of us, both man and woman, to feel him differently. He wants us to feel and see him as a bridge and ambassador to the Father Divine. He wants us to lay down our swords and shields so that we can feel the masculine in a whole new way. To remember it back into our hearts.

He says:

“The war is over. There was never really one to begin with. It has always been, and ever will be, within. A need to reconcile the separation from Mother/Father/Source/Love. I cannot, nor will not, protect you from your own shadow. I can support you, guide you, and co-create with you, but I cannot stand in the way of what it is that you were meant to experience by your soul’s choosing.

The masculine is in need of a reboot and a reframe. A return to His nature as a magistrate of the Will of Love to replace the Rule of Law. To embody and integrate the Yin to His Yang. To heal His own relationship to the Feminine and The World. A new archetype is ready to emerge from this courageous journey of vulnerable surrender mixed with impassioned action. A steward of conscious embodied evolution rather than a warrior for peace and justice. For in any war there is no peace and no justice only more separation.

True change begins with your own reflection. See it in its entirety. Feel where Love has been kept at bay by your own understandable protection. You are a leader, my brother. You are an agent of change by the very light you shine to yourself and then to others. Dare to be kind. Dare to be decent. Dare to be truthful with an open heart. Dare to make mistakes yet not be ‘wrong’. Dare to believe that Love will hold it all. I will be there with you every step…if you dare.”

*****

AA Michael painting by Christie Martin

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

333: ‘Divine Align’ Higher Timeline Opportunities, Next Steps INvitation

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

By Kalayna Colibri

It’s 333 Day today! A powerful time to feel where you truly are right now, to acknowledge yourself for where you’ve been, and to see the illumination of where you’ve yet to go… it’s a day for conscious creativity, to see how your creativity has expressed, and to feel your intentions for your creative flow from now on.

‘Divine Align’ comes to mind and heart right now, but of course this can be much easier said than done… the journey into this alignment is truly one of exploring and refining your integrity, feeling parts of you that are afraid of being vulnerable and truly admitting when they are out of integrity, and being courageous enough to take those steps into the deeper truth of this.

We are creative beings. We can’t stop creating. There are new opportunities to create and recreate starting from inside of us in every single moment. We have infinite choices in this world of infinite possibilities. We are choosing, always, whether or not we are ready to take the next step into our higher timeline and if we are truly ready to align with the Divinity within. I feel reassurance today that there are no setbacks and there’s no way to really go ‘backwards’ even when parts of you feel like they have.

Your Inner Protector may especially feel like they’ve ‘failed’ you, failed their ‘mission’ to protect you from hurt, harm, and even love when love is catalytic and feels like a tidal wave coming in to shake up your entire world. Yet, even this very powerful part of you does not have the ultimate say as to what unfolds for your soul and the bigger picture of your life…

If you’re up for meeting your Protector today and feeling their story with them, here’s a powerful video and guided meditation from Jelelle Awen that you can take in:

I have felt many times with an Inner Masculine part of me, which once expressed as an Inner Protector for me too, this fear of ‘failure’ and have felt very tenderly, with many tears, all the ways in which they feel they’ve ‘failed’ or ultimately let you, or (sometimes especially) ‘God’ down. It’s a relief to them when you can let some air into the room and remind them that they haven’t…

Today, with this ‘333’ Divine alignment of numbers, it’s another invitation to let in Divine love in this way and let this love rumble even your most defended parts of you, to help you shift from fear to love on a deeper level, aligning you with clarities about your personal service-of-love expression if it’s truly time for that, and bringing you a sense of empowerment in your life that may show you an array of choices you’re invited to feel into.

The Divine truly celebrates YOU today and always… and is inviting you, without a doubt, into your next co-creative steps with It as you become ready to deeply embrace them. ❤️

Much love!

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Inevitability Of Rebirth

Published on by Gabriel Heartman3 Comments

Rebirth has a way of finding you.

No matter the life circumstances or situations, as we choose ascension we chose death and rebirth. It is purely unavoidable. The things that once seemed so true become untrue until they are meant to be true again, but in a whole new way.

The habits, geopgraphies, relationships, and livliehoods all come a moment of sacred rumble. It is the permanence of impermanence that guides this path of growth and authentic alignment. What you continue to hold onto that doesn’t fully align with where you are heading as an individual, will always be highlighted by the Divine time and again until you get that it is finally time to take a deep hard feel into what is real and aligned…and what is not.

Rebirth isn’t always about letting go. It is also about going INto. Into the fire of passion and purpose. Into the sacred dance of romance and service. Into the shadow and into the light. Into fear and into Love.

The emotional and spiritual bodies hold the keys to unlock these ‘heart spots’. The ones that have been hard to see or just not wanting to be addressed due to the understandable fear of death…OR is it the rebirth that parts of you fear more?

What does rebirth mean? What does it look like and feel like? Who with be there to keep it all afloat? It is an empty canvass and YOU are the artist. YOU are the one that responds to love instead of fear. What would life be like to no longer respond in the old way?


These are the voices that come from within. Your Protector, your inner child, your teenager, your Metasoul timelines. The network of parts that make up the network you call You. These are the parts to hold and feel that help midwife this scary yet alive New.

The solar activations and geomagnetic storms are sending these canaries out of your heartmine. Hear them. Feel them. Hold them. Love them into this new birthing one courageous day at a time. Support is here and now.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Painting by Delawer Omar



Being In All That The Moment Has To Offer

Published on by Raphael Awen3 Comments

By Raphael Awen

Using ‘being in the moment’ as a way to not feel something a part of you doesn’t want to feel isn’t being in the moment at all.

It’s being in something else, quite removed from the moment actually. No wonder another part of us hasn’t really gotten on so well with all the ‘be in the moment’ advice.

What if really being in the moment is more to do with a simple willingness to feel all that is moving through in any given moment …..even if it isn’t peaceful, or centered, or loving? Centered, loving and peaceful can only be real if it begins with an acknowledgment of what it isn’t.

After years of doing emotional work and feeling tons of shifts, movements, and corresponding life changes, I still feel the challenge that wants to ‘get to’ the good feelings and skip over what’s actually in front of me. Maybe it’s something built into our DNA that gravitates us towards order out of chaos. But then, order emerges out of and is born from chaos. Chaos is the soil that bliss and order gets its’ definition from, we could say.

We go through our hells to find and live in our heavens. Again and again.

Choosing to become an Ambassador to all that’s really inside of us is the invitation that we are now being invited into. The parts of us that make up our inner being are very keen to feel if this Ambassadorship we are mounting in our lives is an Ambassadorship of true love, or, instead, just another agenda of control and domination in some new shape or form (like duty and obligation, for example).

Another big one, for those of us who have chosen awareness of what we are actually feeling, is readying ourselves for the life changes that our awareness will lead us to. Our Inner Protector will shut down our awareness if that awareness is causing us to cycle in suffering; to get stuck in our hell, rather than finding traction out of the suffering.

All of this is what makes up a Love Ambassadorship. Feeling all there is to feel, not accepting any domination and control agendas (whether they originate inside of us or outside of us) and moving into our higher timelines.

How could any of that really happen if it wasn’t for a true love Ambassadorship inside? Ascension without this Ambassadorship only makes for more undigested trauma to be felt at a later date.

How cool is it to be lessening rather than adding to the ‘trauma to be felt’ list? Then, and maybe only then, can we, as the love that we are, more fully be in the blissful moments we are all wired to crave and gravitate towards.

Raphael Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.Com/bridging-session

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

Telling Your Truth With Both Strength And Compassion

Published on by Raianna ShaiLeave a comment

By Raianna Shai

Telling your truth can be a multi-layered and surprisingly complicated process. It’s rare that we are taught how to truly and lovingly set boundaries, speak honestly, and be vulnerable in our relationships. In order to tell your truth from love rather than fear, there’s a beautiful blend of both the masculine spine and confidence and the feminine heart and compassion.

I’ve been learning a lot about my own process when it comes to telling my truth and I’ve realized how compartmentalized it has been for me. I’ve never been all that confident with telling people how they affect me or what I’m really feeling. I am very open about what is going on in my life but when it comes to anything that could cause conflict, hurt, or harm, part of me avoids it like the plague.

One way that I tell my truth is solely from my unhealed feminine heart. This can be beautiful and soft – but without a more masculine holding of it, it can come out meek and small. This is when I will share how someone made me feel but then follow it up quickly with “but it’s not your fault!”. I have this desperate need in parts of me to make people feel safe and comfortable. But this way of being allows people to think that what I have to say isn’t important. That I don’t need them to see or hear me because it’s my responsibility to take care of it and heal. When sometimes, it really is the other person and their energy that isn’t okay for me.

Wrapping conflict in layers of padding and protection, trying to keep it from exploding or becoming real – this isn’t actually loving to anyone. This hinders rather than supports real growth. Being able to tell someone that something they have said or done hurts you brings you that much closer together. It gives you the opportunity to get to a deeper place around it and actually deepen your bond. It doesn’t have to be something that deeply offends or hurts them, it can actually be a way to show them that you care and that you want MORE of them not less. You just want more of who they really are, not more of the walls or protection that allows them to do or say things that hurt you.

Another way of sharing your truth is through pure, unhealed masculine unsentimentality. This is a powerful part of us that can see the bigger picture and make decisions not based in attachment or codependency. But when I’ve shared my truth from this place alone, I have been able to really hurt another person. It makes people feel judged and small and not cared for at all. It does not allow space for the other person to grow because there is no heart there to really feel them in it. Why would a flower want to bloom in the desert?

Then we look at a blend of these two energies. A part of us that has the spine to make hard decisions that is best for everyone and a loving part of us that can create a compassionate space for hurt to arise, be felt, and potentially move in to something new. Without the heart, there is very little room for anything to shift or change in the way that you want. Without the spine, there are rare moments when the heart is really heard and felt.

I have been feeling the consequences of this compartmentalization lately but I have felt so much gratitude for being able to discover why it’s there inside of me and what was even going on when it happened. Now I can learn and grow from my experiences and offer loving boundaries to anyone I encounter next. These strategies simply came from fear for me. A fear of getting really close to someone, of being seen for who I really am, of shattering an image of perfection, of potentially hurting someone else, and so much more. We all have our reasons for being this way – all we can do is learn, grow, forgive, move on and love as fully as possible!

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.