Tag: spiritual healing

The Humility Of Really Feeling Our Emotions: Indigo, Crystal And Rainbow Souls Blog Series

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

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There’s a certain amount of sanctity and sanity we preserve by NOT feeling, at least until the layers on top of our true feelings begin to give way and dissolve because of pressing life circumstances and swelling emotional reactions – THEN it can become insane-feeling, as chaos is created outside of us, pushing these feelings up even more as they call out for our attention. This is true for ANY soul ANYwhere. The piece here for Indigos, Crystals and Rainbows is much the same as for any awakening soul and heart – NOT feeling how we really feel becomes the much crazier choice than actually letting ourselves in. Yet too, there is something here that may be time-bomb-baked inside of us when we are in these soul groups, alerting us to this need for changes INSIDE of us at a much younger age because we are here to do so much work as leaders and healers.

I don’t hold any elitist sort of feeling around claiming I’m an Indigo. I actually feel it kind of lightly. For me it feels like a bridge and also a helpful explanation as to why I care so much about my growth and living into my soul purpose when I’m only just turning 30 this year. I became a “seeker” at age 14, which led me to a desire to serve others and feel my capacity to do so. However, this came in with some shadow pieces like arrogance and self-righteousness too and even in my already-cultivated self-awareness, I still wasn’t quite touching these and others, like entitlement, and narcissism, to name a few. This has been a part of the soul package I came wrapped in and some big things to work this life. I signed up for SoulFullHeart at age 24 because I wanted to work these things… taking breaks between then and now so that I could humbly go into life without consciously holding a process from time to time, which only illuminated more for me in the end. Once you sign up for the bullet train of deep healing, there really is no going back, try as parts of you might… 🙂

It took many reflections, some very hard to take in, for me to truly feel humbled, or rather, for parts of me to truly feel humbled and really start to feel what was really going on for them. There are soul wounds and also this-life, human wounds to feel too. These words of “arrogant”, “entitled” and “narcissistic” did NOT go in easily and there has been a lot of pain in even having to see myself in this light. What has been harder is feeling how  TRUE these words have been for parts of me who haven’t been challenged on their ways of being in life before! Until meeting Raphael and Jelelle Awen, I hadn’t had a single relationship with another teacher, healer, parent or friend who could bring these pieces to me and if they did, it wasn’t with love and compassion, but judgement from the parts of them who are the same way. I can’t explain to you the difference between these two experiences. It’s really something to feel for yourself. ❤

Feeling our shadow and what’s underneath it is an important aspect of the process of going within. What has appeared to be “in shadow” inside of us is actually a whole lot of pain that wants to surface and be healed. There are immense gifts on the other side of all tears shed when feeling our shame, hurt and even rage. As our layers of inner and outer protection melt away because we are finally safe enough to really feel ourselves and our parts, we feel these movements and realizations come to us with fluidity on waves of love that come from outside and inside of us too. It is a humbling process, to unravel deeper and deeper knots and layers protecting the precious yet strong vulnerability of the Sacred Human seed inside… the seed that is meant to grow, flourish and serve love to so many others!

Parts of me have needed to be how they’ve been – there is so much to push away from in our cultures and birth family conditioning and understandably, there is also a lot to protect ourselves from…until there isn’t, that is. Being emotional is still not a fully-embraced thing inside of many, though arguably it’s becoming more and more so as more of us awaken and can no longer deny how we really feel about anything or anyone, dark or light, or while in chaos or stillness or somewhere in between. During this ascension process, this is all being pushed up as light codes and astral influences constantly invite us to really SEE and FEEL ourselves in a much deeper way, illuminating the places where we still need healing and more authentic love flow. If you sign-for some help with this from SoulFullHeart, everywhere you need to go with become illuminated and we get how hard this can be to feel through. It is a deep healing practice and while there is so much joy, there is also much sobriety as the transformation it offers you really does start within and flow outward to every other area of your life.

Indigos, Crystals, Rainbows and the like are at an advantage age-wise and also soul-wise. We signed up to wake up early and to draw to us the paths that would help with that. Becoming more and more humbled to where our paths are taking us and that we DON’T truly know ourselves in earnest until we’ve really felt our shadows be challenged by someone holding up a mirror with LOVE behind it, is so important if not critical if we are really here to help awaken and lead others. We must first awaken to OURSELVES, let alone ascension, let alone Gaia, star beings, or anything spiritual. The heart truly is where the journey deeply begins and where all legs of it ultimately return to. And there is no other path quite like the one that really embraces and supports an ongoing exploration of our inner worlds, without an “end” place where you can declare ourselves fully-healed, and with plenty of juice for the journey inward and upward. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Loving And Healing Our Inner Punisher To Love Life Again (and MORE!)

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

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I’ve been feeling layers of inner-punisher frequencies inside myself for years now. They come and go, seem to fade away and then come back stronger, usually when I am inhabiting more of my soul gifts and bigness. These parts, when left unfelt, can tend to throw wrenches in the newly-greased wheels of forward movement and this can express as sabotage of our jobs, our relationships, etc. As their energy wells-up inside of us it can overflow outward to others, even during times when we feel we are serving love. It’s not that there isn’t ANY love available in those moments, yet if we are offering discernments and reflections to others that come with heavy judgments too, this is  a frequency springing from judgments INside, from us to us. It can be subtle to most people, which is why the reflections from life, love and others who have been there are SO important. Once you really start recognizing and working with these frequencies inside of you though, that’s when you notice this happening and can really learn to be with it as it heals and transmutes into something new inside of you.

So what is the actual gift of connecting with these parts of us?

This layer of “punisher/shame” (shame comes up as the underbelly of this part and often has very strong frequencies too) that I’m working with right now, I was able to really feel in a session with Jelelle and Raphael yesterday. This layer represents a lot of my conditioning as a woman and also a human being, coming from my upbringing, culture and birth family. This part also represents and holds a ton of power, which is really my personal, creative and alchemical power. It is power that has been misguided in its use and purpose, choosing to fixate on what is going wrong or could go wrong, versus all of the wonders and wonderfuls that are happening at the same time and that COULD SO happen in the near “future”. This revelation came as a surprise in some ways, and yet made so much sense. Inner-punisher frequencies are powerful, yes, and play out in so many ways in our lives, yet finding a love inside of us that can love this misuse of power, forgive it and then guide it to use this power for something GOOD and love-focused, THIS is life-changing.

I have felt before how possible it is that the two most deeply transformative parts of us to connect with are the inner-punisher/critic and the magical or inner child… there is a very strong need to connect with the protector as well in order to access these frequencies fully. Yet, when it’s the phase for it, working with these two parts of us illuminates so much about us, the timelines we have subconsciously chosen and lived in so far and all of the choices we’ve made that have placed us in the life circumstances we’re in now. It truly is a journey to finding, feeling and reuniting with our purity and our astounding power, to connect with these and any other parts of us that come forward. Feeling the heaviness that comes with this package DOES open out into something so much better than we have yet imagined… or maybe we have but have had trouble really buying it as a possibility with these unfelt parts denying that there is any space for that inside of us (even though THEY want the lovely outcomes too!).

Work with these energies inside of us seems to only happen on a deeply transformative level if we can allow ourselves to be humbled by it and let in reflections from others who have been there. These energies can play out in so many subtle ways that it becomes very hard to really track it all on our own. After all, these habits and ways of being are so ingrained in many of us that it really just feels like who we ARE. I want to offer though that these frequencies are NOT us at the core of our being and with some courage, dedication and tons of love, we can move them, heal them, and become more and more of who we ARE, creating the timelines we actually want and living a life that we genuinely love. ❤

We are so here for you if you would like some help shining light on this complex matrix inside of you where your own inner-punisher is possibly living. This really CAN and WANTS to heal inside of you with some earnest love and care. Visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more information about sessions with a SoulFullHeart facilitator. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Fellowship of the Kings of Heart

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

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I have a continued calling and desire to keep writing and inviting others to feel this archetypal King energy inside the hearts of all men.  This is even true for women, as they have their own inner masculine energy that has protected their inner femininity from fully blooming for the most noble of reasons.  They too can be healed to a King that helps to become to a counterpart to her arising Queen.  For men, it becomes one portal into our deepest essence as a sacred human in masculine form.  

I can’t help but to feel a loneliness that exists in the Heart of Man.  An authentic desire for deeper connection and resonance.  So much of our connection can be in the mental body,and if it does transact in the emotional body there can be some deep resistances to becoming too intimate.  There is a dearth of authentic, intimate templating that we have been exposed to, at least in my past personal experience.  I always felt more comfortable being more emotional with women than with men, but seemed to find more heart sensitive men to have relationships with when I did.  But there is another level of vulnerability that we never seemed to cross.  We stayed in a contracted frequency that had some nourishment but not a lot of growth.  

As we find ourselves on ever-changing timelines and raising frequencies, we are being exposed to our deeper needs, desires, and the pains that follow them. We are being moved into experiences of remembering more of who we ARE in our most authentic Truth.  As men, I feel how their is a desire to share this within community that can find itself to lean more toward mental digestions.  Or there is a heartfelt ache to connect in heart space but there may be no one around to really understand what is moving through you.  Or you may be blessed a beautiful sweet spot and are desiring more to join you.  

I feel that we are being called back into our most heart-open leading edge of service and leadership.  One that starts square in our hearts to feel all the places where we feel alone, forsaken, guilty, unworthy, confused, or in doubt.  There are many different textures and levels inside of us that desire to be felt and for some it can be a lot to hold.  The heart is seeking feeling and to be reunited with its soul.  Its King.  It seeks to be made whole and then expanded out into the Cosmic Heart of Humanity.  To lead others into the glorious NOW of our deepest gifts and magic.  To fly in the jetstream of Golden Consciousness with an untethered mind free of the energy that kept it in the dark spaces of our pain.  This is what I feel we ache for.  I least my heart and soul does.

And I wish to do this with other men in a fellowship of leadership.  We have such a huge part to play in this arising new golden era of consciousness.  To help heal the All by going into our One.  To reclaim our brilliant kingdom within full of passion, vision, and creativity.  We permit ourselves to live the lives of the Kings that we ARE and encourage and challenge each other lovingly to this grand place of masculine relationship.
I have experienced this with my good friend Raphael Awen and so much want to share this experience with other men.  I loved my male friends dearly, as brothers of heart.  I found myself on a new timeline, but feel them at times in my heart.  

This is a show of desire to be in a bond of like-hearted souls that have chosen to fully inhabit their desire for growth, healing, and building an Empire of Love.  I feel a new care and expanded heart for men everywhere, regardless where we are at on our quest.  I would love to serve the hearts of those so drawn to this fellowship and leadership of Heart.  I claim this inner kingdom for myself and long for you to do the same.  

Gabriel Heartman is a teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Springing Of A New You

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

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We are on the cusp of another equinox.  Leaving the longer, darker nights of the      winter´s season.  The phase of our cycle that had us going in.  Into our more darkened corners.  It was a time in many cultures when not much could happen externally due to the cold weather.  So it was a time of reflection.  It was also a time of destruction.  Life itself was taking a long slumber.  Letting go of all that had been alive and returning it to the earth.  Much was dying in order to be reborn.  

But now after much darkness and stillness, the light itself is finding its way back to a fuller state.  It brings with it more awareness and a warming balm.  That which was uncovered in the shadows becomes the seeds for new growth, new possibilities.  The days are longer in radiance and there is a renewal and clarity in the air.  Rains may come and go to bring the love needed for the integration and sowing to take hold.  You are being born again, and this time the roots are bigger and stronger.  More closely aligned with your truest nature.  

These inner cycles can occur at any moment and at many times.  They occur in an hour or over the course of a year.  With each passing turn of the wheel, something deeper arises in you.  Some more determined.  You are done with what used to be considered ¨usual¨ and are moving into a new season of authentic.  Or another layer of authentic.  A more You than you ever thought you possible because you now hold the key.  The willingness to see where you have been compromising and permitting.  To not hold judgement but compassion for why, but now no longer need or desire.  

You see the 3rd dimension in the rear-view, the sun setting on this old way of seeing and BEing.  The old connections and patterns that no longer serve.  It was the winter of your unconscious heart and now the birth of new life inside sees a new vision of how it could be, how it was always meant to be, and currently IS.  New life is blooming inside and the rains give way to the freshness of air, the clarity of sight, and the magic of rainbows.  There is a kNOWing that all will never be the same.  There is a birthing of new relationships, new geographies, and new sense of inner fullness and peace.  Storms come and go but the roots are firmly in the ground.

The High Summer of our New Earth lives inside you.  Being showered with LoveLight daily as you clear that which has blocked your leaves from its sustenance.  Your RISE higher, with each influx of saying NO to that which no longer serves, and YES to that which fuels desire and dreams.  It is the Love that you are made of that now imbibes you with the will to BE HERE NOW.  Flowing with the winds of your lover´s heart the tune of your galactic symphony.  
The cycle will soon no longer be for you will have entered a new river of existence.  A previously forgotten world of divine inspiration and circulation.  The time of No Time and the swirl of pastel colors among the sea of a starlit stage.  A time of Love´s eternal grace that recognizes it never began and can never end.  It the dawn of a new season of the Sea of Sun.  

Gabriel Heartman is a teacher, facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Feeling What We Really Want In Our Social Worlds As We Awaken

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

 

by Kalayna Colibri

our social worlds

On a Saturday night, I gaze among the busy social streets and walkways, humming with activity and energy and alcohol and friendship… sometimes coupled with drama and pain and backed-up emotional outbursts. During these party times, you can feel the buzz in the air that will soon be in every body, not just from substances taken in, but from the high of socializing, being among peers, perhaps finding love, sex or making new friends. There are grounds here that are healthy to explore and some that aren’t really in a sense, and yet it’s all sacred and it’s all ultimately a path to self-discovery and remembrance, even if this isn’t made conscious in the moments these selves, these individuals, these human BEings are in.

While young, being spiritual can find its place in you if this is what you’ve signed up for… exploring consciousness can sometimes happen with your peers, while at other times it won’t or just can’t. For a phase this journey with them can only go so deep and that’s fine with you for a while, but beyond that phase when that was enough, it’s not quite enough anymore. This is when values shift along with ideas of life and how to live it consciously and more fully. This is where certain areas of focus, ways to find pleasure, and paths to feeling a togetherness with others all rumble beneath your feet and in front of your eyes. This is where your life begins to turn itself upside down in countless ways as you begin to feel the need to push away, sometimes dramatically, sometimes subtly, but always in a way that reminds you, you are your own person and you have your own sense of what energies you need and want to be around as your self love heals and deepens.

There can be a fear arising then, for some… that no one will ever really “get” them or may judge them for walking away from the relationship. Parts of them form and begin to strategize to either stay alone out of fear of having and then losing intimacy at any level, or choose to merge in with whatever group of people they are around or whatever situation they are in, becoming one with all around them and not much of an individual in most ways. There is tension and yet also relief as you find your ways to take care of and love YOU as your number one priority. There is sometimes also flatness, as managing these ups and downs (that are hormonal, sure, but also a genuine awakening to soul and heart pain) can be a challenging crucible to hold and handle and be with. So much depends on who you choose to be around and talk to and lean into for support. This shopping around, seeking, searching experience is one that can be incredibly mind and heart-opening, fascinating, and ever-arising too, as resonance moves in and out in very necessary growth phases. This again changes the social circle you choose to be part of and certainly affects the one you currently have as you continue to awaken to the love you are and the love you want to experience between yourself and others. There are so many different dynamics that are possible here and that play out in different ways, with many possible outcomes… yet the risk is always the same – if I don’t stay the same and they do, I will be friendless again or even for the first time…

The strong soul-pull to discover and remember our purposes is something that is happening more and more with people of all ages and soul groups, especially right now with ascension processes accelerating for everyone, yet when it comes to indigo, crystal and rainbow souls, for example, these social awakenings can come very early in our lives as we came in with a powerful, mission-based focus that is natural for us to feel, yet not so natural to “know” exactly what to do with. It can be very challenging to finds ways to fit in with others in our peer group, not because we are victims to this (though parts of us understandably feel this way sometimes) but because we chose for this to be the case… after all, if we actually DID feel as if we totally, fully, completely “belonged”, where would our sense of mission and awakening to our soul gifts have room to happen, take hold and start manifesting in our lives? To not suffer around this, means going IN and feeling ourselves with reflections from teachers and mentors who have also been there and can help us learn to navigate it, often much better than our birth parents ever could – not necessarily because they didn’t want to try, but because in some ways they weren’t actually meant to be the ones to lead you onward and into this.

Throughout the majority of my life to date, having and keeping a thriving a social world was very challenging. This is partly because I was always very much IN my emotional states and didn’t have templating for how to actually BE with them and hold them… no adult around me could help with this and my peers had a hard time relating to me most of the time, plus it eventually became a tool for parts of me to actually push and keep others away. Then there was spirituality and the deepening of THAT for me… and now I am on a very powerful and ever-expanding path that spans both my emotional AND spiritual inner realities and THAT is rare, though it seems that more and more people, as they awaken, are realizing how connected these two realities are and that they need healing in both in order to fully embrace and live into ascension. In my experience and observation both, I can see and feel how this ground of being naturally very emotional and also spiritual has been and continues to be a tough crucible for many of us… awakening does come at a cost, yet is intended to invite us out of suffering while holding the parts of us who cling to suffering as a way to be in life. One of these ways in which we seem to choose to continue suffering, is by surrounding ourselves with relationships that do not have a deeply resonant ground. Our social worlds collapse and expand as we continue to grow… but not without love leading the way and guiding us to our next places inward that then draw our next circumstances outward.

Not having a full social world to ground you can be hard for some souls, yet for others it won’t be and that poses its own challenges. Choosing the path of the lone wolf is also hard and even though parts of you may be working to bury the loneliness somehow, it is still there. These parts can be held, worked with and healed deeply, allowing us to feel how we really, genuinely feel, what it is we most deeply want and who we actually want to be around and spend time with. Our loneliness is sacred and alchemical… it is creative. It is a space where we can feel our deepest aches and desires for mateship, for companionship, for a community of people that continually arise for us as we arise for them. Being afraid of feeling our loneliness is expected and normal, but holding these parts of us who feel this way teaches us so much about ourselves and offers us much healing when it is held in our hearts FOR us and WITH love and Divine guidance and company too… we are never really alone, though this can be hard to feel and let in. Yet sometimes alone-ness can be a grace, a place to genuinely feel what we need to feel, and an oven to bake our arising desires in.

Perhaps you are part of a social world right now that may be running out of ground for you, as your awakenings are helping you feel pictures and energies of the sort of love you want to feel from you to you and flowing from you to others and vice versa… in the end, the choice is yours as to what steps to take next, and there is no wrong answer or true misstep along the way. Even our biggest messes seem to offer us many gems of learning, growth and self-discovery. Letting go can be painful and hard, yet in the end, true service to a relationship of any kind starts with feeling what you genuinely want and need, while holding all relationships with an open hand and heart. This becomes a grace to you and your parts, and them and theirs too, as everyone is then free to go along their own path, however they see and feel it unfolding for them.

I would love to serve you and help you navigate this terrain that can be so challenging and yet hopeful too. You are meant to become more of your essence, your light, your soul purpose and mission. You are meant to lead and BE a big part of ascension and we all need each other more than perhaps we ever have before!

You can visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more information on session space.

Sending you lots of love and support… ❤

Kalayna

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Healing The Heart of Man From Inside Out

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

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As more news about war comes into my awareness, as I do not read much anymore, I felt a ping in my heart and a desire to write about the nature of this and its relationship to the wounded masculine.  It was also inspired by an experience that Jelelle had that she will be sharing later.

In Heart of Man there wages a battle between so many different facets of himself.  The need for control over the desire to surrender, the will to resist over the will to live, the self-punishment over the self-compassion.  The Heart of Man is at a crossroads.  A place where the Soul of Man is to be claimed or refused.  So much of this inner struggle is playing out today in the Theater of the Wounded Masculine.  An ever present theme of triumph and tragedy.  Domination and aggression.  Withdraw and hiding.  This is all happening within.  If we truly want to be a part of another timeline we must first be willing to go inside and face our own inner battlefield.

Those that are in a position of ¨power¨ are mere projections of what lies in our shadow.  We must be willing to feel that if we are to truly change the energy that persists ¨out there¨.  These wounded expressions in male form are but uninitiated boys with deadly toys.  But they all have a higher self that is fully aware of this.  This is why it is so important to connect with your own as they represent a fractal of the larger sacred masculine energy in the universe.  When you feel your own unhealed inner boy and its reigning punisher, you can then begin to feel compassion for those who are in positions of power.  If we throw our angst and hatred at them we are really only doing it to ourselves.  The only power that heals is Love.

In the wounded boy lies his relationship to both the masculine and the feminine represented by his mother and father.  This plays out both this life and other lives.  The templating received by Dad in what masculinity is has a huge impact on his worldview.   The relationship to Mom and her feminine templating determines to a large extent how the feminine lives in Man.  This becomes an inner relationship inside of us that, unless becomes conscious, can have many unhealthy consequences.  This relationship to the feminine that resides within is a portal into our true masculinity and continued arising soul growth.  

Among the boy though, I feel a fallen King that has forgotten his true essence as a God.  Something happened that collapsed this union with the Sacred.  He split off from Source and there is a sense of longing, guilt, abandonment, and rage all swirled together.  When I visit a sacred grove of Sequoia trees that is my personal soul space I can feel many of these fallen Kings there.  They are wanting to be connected to and felt in their pain.  They represent a more subconscious energy that feels to inhabit a more lower 4D frequency. They know what is up but feel powerless and even worthless to do anything about it.  I felt tears for them as I have felt my own fallen king and continue to do so.  

But right behind them are our High King/ Angelic presence.  The bridge to our true essence as Love´s co-creative force.  The rightful heir to our Throne of BEing.  We ARE already that.  They are watching us and aching for connection, to free ourselves from the chains of our own making. One´s that can only be shed with Love and Compassion.  The more we can feel and connect with them the more of our true power we can embody.  The more self-love we can manifest and send back to the collective with open hearts.  

So when I hear of tidbits of news from 3D, I go into my heart and feel myself.  I feel the war raging inside others and send them as much love that I have to offer from my own well.  I feel each one as a sacred brother on their own journey of lesson and discovery.  With each new opening of love within myself ripples itself out into the Heart of Man.  Connecting to other High Kings to serve this love is my calling and purpose in whatever way that shows up, whether through my own journeys, writing, or spaceholding.  I feel the true masculine is a beautiful and powerfully creative expression of Divinity.  He so much more than we could ever imagine and  as we go into our own hearts and face our shadow, the true essence of Man is revealed in all His glory.  And a new timeline emerges….

Gabriel Heartman is a teacher, facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  You can learn more about him at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com.  Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

No More Waiting To Live

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

51

When I awoke today, suddenly nothing happened

But in my dreams, I slew the dragon

And down this beaten path, and up this cobbled lane

I’m walking in my old footsteps, once again

And you say, just be here now

Forget about the past, your mask is wearing thin

Let me throw one more dice

I know that I can win

I’m waiting for my real life to begin

from Waiting For My Real Life To Begin by Colin Hay

 

These words found there way to me through an interesting route that is so feminine in its nature.  Seemingly random thoughts and exchanges that landed a song into my dock.  I was feeling into what I wanted to write about today and this song hit a chord and I felt to play it and see what tune it sings.  

For those that are in more 4D consciousness, whether just entered or are seasoned veterans (interesting choice of words), there can be this sense that something hasn´t quite shifted on the outside to reflect the growing awareness of what feels true on the inside.  There can be this feeling of looking toward the horizon waiting for something to happen.  In the song, he also uses the words `I have a plan` and `times are just lean`.  There is an externalization, a projection onto life, that it is not on our side or we need to take control in someway to create a desired outcome that hasn`t arrived yet.  That the passion and desire inside are conditional to some set of external circumstances that have to occur in order to be set free.  

I remember this well in my own journey, feeling stuck in a `good career`. Trying to seek many different ways to make it all okay even as I was still `walking down the same ol` cobblestone streets`.  What was needing to happen was what the song suggested and that was to be in the moment and go into your heart. Feel what was really trying to be felt and expressed.  Nothing on the outside could make that any better.  It was I that had to make the journey in and listen to my soul.

The waiting was just a suffering.  A denial to really feel what was evidently true but a part of me was afraid to admit.  A more wounded masculine need to control something in order to resist what was true.  By going more still and surrendering to the feelings, I could allow these feelings to arise and be held in space created by a more solid me and the much needed support of another to hold that truth until I could do it on my own more regularly.  Feeling the fears and resistances to claiming my own power from with.  True empowerment.  Not control.  

Being in a more Yin space helps to feel how parts of us are so afraid of actually letting go of a conditioning or a relationship that is keeping us stuck and in state of suffering.  There many that have done that for themselves and there are those, like myself, who needed support. It is not a sign of weakness but of strength.  Leaning IN order to raise UP.  Support and guidance comes in all forms.  The key is to seek it so that you may help heal it.  I can feel how this can be more difficult for men than for woman but that may be shifting as more men continue to find the value of going in and feeling all there is to feel to stop the waiting and start the living.  
That is what I wanted.  Tired of the mask.  Tired of pretending. Tired of the waiting.  Because there is no time than NOW.  But I hold so much gratitude for that suffering because it brought me to a more authentic place of BEing and living.  It made the alleged comfortable very uncomfortable, so that there were only two choices…and then really only one.  Let go and Go IN.

Gabriel Heartman is a teacher, facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  You can learn more about him at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

INside Starts The “Day”

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

ying yang beach

THIS is the Yin-in time

before the penetrative sun

blazes high and hot

giving heat and depth to activations

of all who keep from blocking it

out.
 

This is the “time”,

the phase of a “day”,

when waves are gentler along the beach.

As we rise from sleep

We feel our first rumblings

of a day blessed

and starting from withIN.
 

How will we choose

to begin our inner “day”

“today”?
 

Sand love, ocean love, pigeon love,

SELF love…

ALL surrounding as I enfold myself

in me and in Gaia.

BEing in quiet…

except for the writhing and steady ocean waves

(the Yang needs to be here somehow

and so does the more penetrating aspect of Yin).
 

Words float in

on the wings of fluttering feelings.

An opening out of heart

after a few “days”

of cave-IN process,

BEing and FEELing some buried-ness

inside.

Providing a Yin nest for thrashings

wailings

tiring, running-out-of-ground

life strategies,

old, beating, relationship to self

that must be burned away now

to let in the balm

that was always waiting

with soft, warm blankets

and silk pillows.
 

I feel MY love.

I feel HER love

and HIS…

and I dream of a “his” love

that’s on its way

as he continues to find love

in himself

and me

in myself.
 

We wake up every “morning”

yet we wake throughout each “day” too…

in triggers

joys

ups, downs, flatness, no-thing-ness…

sleepiness, weariness, nappy-ness,

LOVE-ness…

ALL BEing-ness!
 

Invitation and love and ness

and THRIVAL beyond SURVIVAL,

sharing intimacy THROUGH self

WITH others.

No victims,

only powerful choices

with outcomes

and INcomes…

welcome and not

yet always, ALL ways

frought

with all we need

to enter a new birth

of renewed life

and rediscovered

recovered

LOVE! ❤
 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

Holding Space For The Blocks To PURE Love To Heal

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

by Jelelle Awen

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The Universal flow and glow of life inviting you to let go into it….to ride the waves of PURE love that are surrounding you at all times. Feeling, being with, holding space for the blocks and the layers that act as a ‘suit’ around your field to resist and repel these love frequencies at times and in certain ways. These blocks and layers have energy, they have story, they have feelings. They can be directly connected with and embraced with love and curiosity. They fall away and dissolve and heal AND integrate into the WHOLE you, higher self you, fractal of Divine Source YOU.

Direct connection with these defenses, these protections and projections, these wounds and bruises is what allows them to move and heal. These karmic playouts and results of so much energy building up without release inside of your soul and your soul group in all its expressions happening NOW as there are no past lives in that way…..These karmic playouts and unhealed emotional frequencies cycle over and over and build up in intensity influencing you in so many ways that the conscious mind cannot track yet the heart and soul feel the impact of them.

The symptoms of these playouts show up in so many ways – in dysfunctional and sticky relationships, in ill physical health, in emotional reactivity, in inability to manifest, in blocking of PURE love, in repeated patterns of suffering, in unworthiness, in shame, in anxiety, in SO MUCH suffering really.

Yet, in your tears are the answers for the healing as to feel them, to allow them, to be with flow from your heart and your soul is a washing away and a release of the built up energies. Your tears are the language of your heart that are telling you where your love is needing next. Your tears are the language of your soul sharing the story of your bigness and what you are missing in connecting with it and ALSO releasing reunion grief when the remembering and reconnection HAPPENS in response to your tears.

The light and the PURE love from the Divine, from Angels, from star family, from soul family connections….this love is water for your growing sacred human self, your becoming embodied 5D self, who holds the space for this exploration into the shadow, who allows the tears to flow, who offers a possibility end to the suffering cycles.

In SoulFullHeart, we offer space holding sessions for this PURE love to flow. We offer a template of a growing and learning sacred human within a conscious community of individuated and awakening souls all connected to the same process and values resonance. We offer a space for the tears to be with another heart and soul to feel them AND to feel your sense of innate goodness about yourself growing organically and the light body growing and your soul gifts expressing more and more TOO. We ARE in this process too as it is our way of life that we live and breath every day together and so we are WITH you in it as you are leading it with your higher self more and more coming through. So many possibilities of where this might lead next and so much love available to hold and respond and BE with it all!

Make room and space for this transitional pain to move through, for the tears to offer you the story of your heart and soul, and love will be the response every time.

~~~

Jelelle Awen is a writer and co-creator/teacher/group facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions with her, online group calls and circles, community, videos, and more.

 

We Are Movers Of Love

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

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We are beloved movers of legacies and conditioning, called upon to go into our own as souls and human hearts, but also to serve others in doing the same. We are ultimately movers of LOVE.
We are many generations of soul-light broadcasters and love-light healers. Each phase has offered another layer of exposure of what needs to be healed and even another layer of healing in the same sacred breath. We are all healers with LOVE.
Today I feel invited to let in that so much of what we move through as we heal is not just what belongs to us, but what belongs to All, for we cannot be separate though we also individuate for what can feel like long, necessary phases before reuniting with this All-ness consciousness in heart, body and soul. The hardest part, in my experience so far, is learning to love this…
We are bridge builders from ourselves to ourselves and ourselves to each other. We are connected, sometimes by chasms, but the more bridges we can build with love and care, the more supple the skin beneath the rashes of reaction becomes. This is what it means to be in relationship and to be a healing balm to ourselves and one another. This is what it means to be in conscious commUNITY.
Claiming our roles in the creation of the worlds that we live in, both inner and outer, is the opportunity at the doorstep of our hearts. We have the capacity to feel it, heal it and transmute it ALL in the way that love wants to partner with us in doing so!
May this next moment of life be one filled with and focused on love for every single reaction, desire, disappointment, joy, and angst, for even if it isn’t always from ourselves, it is from somewhere, and pushing away is what has perpetuated the more negative, lower frequencies in the first place and also what has not let the joyful moments in to do the work and transformation they have wanted to do. We do not have to become anything we don’t want to, but we CAN feel it through to its roots and love the soil it was planted in, for the ultimate source and co-creator has really been LOVE all along…

~~~

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com