Owning And Transmuting The Prison That Lies Within

When one has been denied freedom, whether in the form of prison or being captured, for a very long time, there is something that happens in the mind and heart of said soul. It is like a form of The Stockholm Syndrome where you have identified with the captor/imprisoner in the name of survival. Only, in this case, the bars are no longer in front of you but they continue to exist energetically anyway. They were all that was ever known.

I have been digesting this inside of myself the last couple of days, where I can feel aspects of me that have been used to a particular consciousness, or way of relating to the world both inner and outer. There are goggles that are placed on them that were not put on them against their will, but so that they could ‘deal’ with the very real reality of True Freedom that stands right in front of them. They are not oblivious to this reality. It has been a necessary part of a healing process.

If there is no matrix, or if there was never one to begin with, we are left to address our own ownership of that which we feel like is imprisoning us. We are left to reconcile that we are the captor and the captured both. We are highly efficient and powerful creators that can manifest more than we are able to let in so we can use the power of our projection to devise all sorts of excuses that can buffer us from that reality, that I hold as my personal truth.

As the dawn of the New Era is shining is a powerful Divine light upon us, the shadow of those prison bars is becoming increasingly clear. The truth behind their existence needs to be taken responsibility for or else they will continue to stand right where they are at. I hold that these limitations, these projections, these fears have all been necessary but no longer serviceable. They are held inside by parts of you that have a long and varied history with both persecution and being persecuted. Captor and being captured. Find, feel, and release the chains of these heart and soul beings so that they can be transmuted into the grandeur of love they truly ARE.

******

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

A Love Transmission For These Times Of Chaos, Change, Evolution (Poem)

by Kalayna Colibri

Swirling, changing, 
Ever-shifting sands
Of foundations won and lost,
Forged and fought for,
Brought in on waves of alchemy
And set to sail away again.

The ship of your homecoming
Finds those resonant tides
Of needed and necessary movement
Toward everything
Every part, piece, aspect,
You have, are
And will yet uncover yourself to BE.

Life is a recovery dance
Of unknown,
Magic-pitched pipes
No one has ever played before
And yet they are being played just the same
In every cell of your being
In every dimension of your soul…

Love, catch the wave before you
Or wait now for another.
At every turn
The maybes move
As the drawbridge beckons you homeward.

Beloved, now could be your time
The war is over if you choose it.
The battles fought and won
Are reconciled
In the depths of healing soil
Built to bring more depth within.
Your time to re-anchor in new horizons
Could be now…
Or the next now.
Any now of your choosing
As you cannot help
But engage in the process
Of the healing waves coming
In whatever ways felt into.
You’ll know your time,
Your chance,
Your phase,
In ways your mind won’t grasp
Yet your heart will sanctify
And claim…
You’ll know, beloved,
That it’s your growth moment
And the pulse of new blood
Will be unavoidable.

Yet beloved,
Feel this…
You are loved beyond the love you’ve known.
You are needed beyond the needs of others.
You are held beyond the scope of your beholding.
And you are brought into your power
In every step you take towards more love
More worth
And more beyond all you’ve been taught
Is all you’ll ever have…

Much… much love… ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart co-founder, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Collapsing The Internal Tug Of War: SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter (Sept 10, 2018)

It’s the release of our weekly Museletter! Offering ALL of our writings, videos, events, healing offerings, and audio blogs for the week. Go read it here!

“Is it at all a possibility that an anxious feeling or thought about the future is actually more to do with a fear of letting go of something familiar in the present, a kind of projection onto the future?” ~ Raphael Awen, ‘Collapsing The Internal Tug Of War’

Launching this week’s Museletter is a piece by Raphael Awen, inviting you to feel any fears, anxiety, or push-pull you may have coming up around changes happening in your life, as parts of you whose realities are valuable and important to feel. He poignantly offers:

“When we go in to simply feel each part’s reality, without trying to fix anything, we feel the part that wants to stay in one place forever and we feel the part who has already long left the building. When these parts of us feel the feelings of what it feels like to be felt by us, their reality and energy simply shifts. The internal tug of war collapses, and life and love are free to flow again.”

Raphael and Jelelle Awen offered another Ascension live stream and Q&A this week, for which the recording is available for you to take in. They offered their perspectives on the Ascension process, emotional body/soul healing through parts work, and working with Metasoul aspects from other timelines. They also co-led a guided meditation to connect with high vibe energies and your Inner Protector at around 40 minutes in.

There are many new writings and recordings offered this week by Raphael and Jelelle along with Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri. Feel their perspectives on different energies coming in now and ongoingly and ways to feel the new possibilities for your personal healing and Ascension process.

Raphael, Jelelle and Gabriel offer 1:1 90min Bridging Sessions to help boost and digest your Ascension process and feel with you what your next steps are towards your highest timeline possibilities. These sessions are available for $77 USD min. donation per session. More information can be found here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

We love to share our offerings with you and would enjoy receiving whatever heart donation in the form of money you feel that resonates with our offerings. You can go to our donation page for more info on how to donate: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Way of Life! If you’d like to receive these Museletters directly and automatically in your email every week, you can subscribe on our website at: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/writingmuseletters

Check out the latest Museletter here.

Collapsing The Internal Tug Of War

By Raphael Awen

Is it at all a possibility that an anxious feeling or thought about the future is actually more to do with a fear of letting go of something familiar in the present, a kind of projection onto the future?

If that feels true, then it’s up to you to go find the part of you that holds the fear of loss – feel their reality, as distinct from yours. Feel what they fear losing and why. Find the tears underneath the triggers. Now, a new and self loving new possibility is much more free to arise and flow into your energy, your reality, your ‘life’.

When we don’t feel parts of ourselves and their reality, we are left with a kind of flatlined waveform reality that we call our life, but in reality is an unaddressed tension of living immobilized between the tension and polarity of these parts of ourselves, each of them exerting strong energetic and emotional reality broadcasts across the screens of our lives.

When we go in to simply feel each part’s reality, without trying to fix anything, we feel the part that wants to stay in one place forever and we feel the part who has already long left the building. When these parts of us feel the feelings of what it feels like to be felt by us, their reality and energy simply shifts. The internal tug of war collapses, and life and love are free to flow again.

I’m feeling this for myself in a renewed way again as Jelelle and I are thirty some days away from moving ourselves and a few suitcases of belongings to Canada (Victoria, BC), leaving behind 4 years here in Mexico. The geography change is part of the shifts and changes of livelihood and passion-purpose expression in the world. Anxieties about money (which is really a form of love), or the community building that we feel drawn to do there (another form of love), are really more to do with a fear of having more; of feeling unprepared for that unknown and untried ‘more’, of not knowing how to navigate more – for a part of me, that is, who has become familiar with living in less in some form or another.

Here now, I get to see and feel how anxiety is not a limiting energy on the more that I and other parts of me consciously desire, but rather a portal, and a direct portal at that, to the gold my heart and soul longs for.

What if the anxiety, depression and the long list of other unwanted emotions we work hard to mask and avoid are really supergate portals to the new world, to new earth, Golden earth realities that our hearts and souls know is possible?

If that’s true, then it’s time to let go, (or begin to at least) of letting go of ways of life, spiritualities, relationships, that are really about numbing ourselves to our pain.

Many are finding to their surprise that between them and their trusted beloveds exists an unconscious, but ironclad non-disclosure agreement that states that if either of us break the code of disclosing our real pain to ourselves, to one another or to our world, that we agree to be banned forever from connection. It’s a device that a powerful part of us set in place and cocreated to ensure that we would stay safe and securely small.

What would it be to make new connections in relationship where something like the opposite was true; where people were only in relationship with you for the currency exchange of your realness and radical self-honesty and vulnerability?

We haven’t explored that reality yet very far as a collective consciousness, but I can tell you that I have explored it seriously as a single consciousness, with a small band of ‘others, and find it utterly expansive and a journey like no other. I invite you into this exploration of yourself if it calls to you. I can aid you in making light years of consciousness growth come alive in your world if this is something your heart and soul are ready to undertake.

Raphael Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.Com/bridging-session

Please check into the link above as a decision point of your next steps into life and love in the frequency I speak of today. Thank you for tracking me and my words.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Journal With Nine: Healing The Symbol Projection

I felt inspired to have another go at conversing with the number 9 this morning. I felt a personal connection to its message and felt there was more to feel into with it. There was such an interesting response to it that I wasn’t totally expecting. I have not had a real deep relationship to numbers in my past and I haven’t taken to doing much ‘research’ on the matter. In a way, it keeps it pure and just arises from whatever comes from my heart. I encourage anyone who has a more intimate connection with numbers to do this very same thing and see what arises.

On that note I will check in with Nine and see how it is feeling today and where we might go:

Good morning Nine. Do you prefer the word or the number?

9: That is an interesting question. I guess it all depends on which perspective you want to come from. A more literary and poetic heart space or a more mathematical, paternal place.

Hmmmm….so you have a masculine and a feminine?

9: Well, don’t you?

Yeah, I do. I guess I never really thought of it in regards to a number, but when you put it that way it totally makes sense.

9: It also doesn’t have to make sense either. It is a question that leads us on a quest, just like Raphael always says.

Yeah, I like that. So we are questing. Getting to feel and understand each other and how we relate to each other through this dialogue.

9: Sure. Why not? You gotta hot date with Kalayna?

Well, every moment is a hot date with Kalayna. She is into this too so it is all a part the dance.

9: Yes, a dance. (Good answer with the hot date thing… 😉 That is what this exploration is. You and I are both a consciousness. I get my awareness and aliveness through you and I thus affect you. We can spend a lot of time exploring the technical nature of my numerology and that has its value and purpose, but taking that understanding and diving a bit deeper into how I, as a number, have an effect on a particular heart is a feminine approach.

I was feeling that distinctly yesterday in our conversation. I could feel a part of me wondering if I needed to do some research into what you ‘mean’ and yet I got a whole lot of meaning out of our encounter yesterday. I could feel how others who responded had their own intimate relationship with you that spanned a spectrum of reaction.

9: I do seem to have that effect on people. I am a very intense yet magical number if I do say so myself. I have a lot of stuff going on! Mathematically speaking I have a lot of parts! I house a lot of powerful energy and that be like riding a bucking bronco. So I understand the intense reactions that others have about me showing up in their lives. Or even being identified as me.

Yeah, I wanted to ask you about that. How do you feel about that?

9: Well, of course, there is an honor in it. But there is a lot of projection and over-identification that can arise. There is something that is meant to be understood about the nature of being drawn to a number but it doesn’t mean that one is meant to be determined by it. I only hold the power that one gives to me. If I represent chaos and that is all that one chooses to relate to me as then there is no room for what else I stand for which is the process of moving beyond into the new. This is where the feminine side of feeling wants to come in and hold space for the fear that is backed up in my name. I don’t want to be a reason why people are suffering. That is not what I am about.

Wow. I feel some of your own backed up truth in there Nine.

9: Yeah, I can feel that too, Gabriel. I can feel that for any idea/concept be it numerological, astrological, angelic, etc. We get all bound up in this intense energy that is not the nature of what we are meant to represent. We are change and stability both. Never meant to stay in a rut. I got this yesterday from you when you mentioned my curiosity of what it is like to be 10. I am not a victim to my location on a number line. I am more than that. I am energy. I am a symbol that is not set in stone. I can shift. Hell, turn me upside down and I am a six! How is that for multidimensionality? Thanks for letting me feel that Gabriel. I feel how I may have been holding a lot more than my share of this dynamic. An inner need of mine to be seen as valuable and wanted. I want to feel that in and of myself. And my parts. All 9 of them! Hmmm…9 lives.

I had no idea that we going here today Nine. I still have so many other curiosities about you and maybe we just needed the space to feel into this together.

9: I feel open to where this is meant to go Gabriel. I feel a big release here and that helps me to feel more of my own value as a number in relation to the human heart. Whew!. This is powerful work you are doing, my friend. I think it is time to let this breath and we can catch up tomorrow if that arises. I can feel how all these symbols could use a good cleanse, Gabriel. This could be your thing!

That would be interesting. Not sure I can make a living on holding space for symbols but I am open to what it offers us. You are magical being and I am blessed to have stumbled onto this with you. All in Divine Nining.

9: Hmmm….not sure about that one there, Gabriel. I like the effort, however. Before we leave I did want others to know that having their own personal connection with me would be very healing. I am open to connecting with them through their own hearts and computers. I am good with pen and paper too. Brings me back to the old days.

Ah, that feels like a great invitation Nine. Thank you. I look forward to what arises next in the space between us. We have a whole month in your honor!

9: Oooff! That is a lot of change coming our way. Okay! We got this!

*******

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

9/10 Energies Invite Moving On, Seeing Next Process Steps

By Kalayna Colibri

Today 9 turns into 10… it feels like a double-helix of new beginnings and taking everything you’ve learned and moved through to the next level while the old continues to move. This means applying all that you are now in all of the relationships you have… which could mean completing some, while deepening or even just beginning others.

I feel in myself a new beginning arising inside from much work and dedication to going inward, looking in the books and crannies and rather dark places. This work isn’t over and actually, I don’t want it to be. Yet I’ll take this new platform, this emerging foundation and these brand new wings out for a spin and feel all there is to feel in the process of that.

This is something I feel for many right now. You could be coming out of a deep emotional or physical process or both… I’ve always found that the two are inevitably linked. You could be popping through another ceiling of awakening and trying to integrate what you’ve been realizing and noticing about yourself, your soul, the world, your Star family, etc.

There’s a ton of support coming in, always, to help us feel all of this and more. The way you can let in this support is by feeling the parts of you in resistance to it. Resistance to love can be subtle. We all have resistance in some form or other, yet it’s how we relate to and feel that resistance that matters and has the most opportunity for growth, maturity, and letting in more love.

What reflections is life offering you now of where you’re on deck to go next in your personal process? We need these reflections to see what’s going on with us, as it’s not possible to see everything, every cluttered corner of your heart and soul, completely on your own. Life is a hall of mirrors, always.

As we move into this 9-10 day, let’s remember that we are ALL working to love our shadows and hidden places, feel what needs love inside of us, and that we are also always given a ton of love to help us see and be with this process. Nobody is exempt from this, yet we all get to choose how and if we accept the invitation to dive deeper and fly higher.

It’s your graduation day… just as every day could be. A graduation into your next phase of becoming more love and serving love too!

Much love! 💜

~

My beloveds, Raphael, Gabriel and Jelelle are all very gifted space holders with magnificent hearts that are ready to offer deep support and illumination in collaboration with you, your parts, your own heart and soul. For more information, visit this page: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session ❤️

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart co-founder, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Great Time To Be A Nine! (Oops…Alive!)

I decided to check in with the number 9 this morning as it seems a lot of people will be talking about it today feels like. Hard to not notice on a day like today, it being 9/9/1+8 and all. Here is my chat with this auspicious number:

Good morning, number 9. I was wondering if you would be up for some questions this morning. You are going viral today!

9: Yeah, you can say that. I can feel it in all my chakras! Lots of people talking about me today.

How does that feel to you?

9: It feels good. I don’t get a lot of recognition in everyday circumstances as there is no 9:99 on your clocks. My brethren tend to get the lion’s share of the exposure on that front. It’s all good. I like to be a little mysterious anyway. Kinda show up when you are least expecting me.

Hmmm…interesting. Why is that?

9: Well, I am a number that signifies a lot of change. Endings and completions. I am the death part of the rebirth cycle. That gets a lot of people feeling a little rumbly and nervous. Sometimes when change seems to arrive out of nowhere the only thing one can do is surrender or suffer. The choice becomes adamantly clear. Unless of course suffering is part of the learning and growing. I tend to want to get people to make their way to 10.

Does that feel a little lonely then?

9: No, not really. I have a lot of work to do! So many souls are on my doorstep and in my house Gabriel! This is a magical time to be a nine! Oh, I meant alive…sorry, occupational hazard.

Lol! Yes, I can see that. You feel alive to me even in the rumbles. You live on a tectonic fault line it feels like.

9: Oh my, yes. It has its moments. There is nothing dull about being the number nine. The one thing I love is watching the light of awareness go on when souls see the number 10 on the horizon. That there is a new beginning. They have to move from being one digit to becoming 2! This is a shift in consciousness that takes the time it takes. It means taking the steps to become like a newborn again. A 1 and 0 both. Woah, man. That is blowing my mind again. Sorry, I get this way from time to time when I take that in. What a rush from my perspective.

Wow…yeah. I can feel that strangely enough. I never thought I could connect to a number this way. You are pretty magical yourself there Nine. I actually feel some tears for you watching others move on.

9: Awwww…..that is kind of you, Gabriel. Maybe I need to feel the part of me that feels some sadness around that. I have just done my job for so long I have forgotten what it was like to dream about being 10. Maybe that is my next going-on place too. I guess as long as 8 is ready to take my place we can all find our next places!

Lol! Now you got it! What is the biggest thing you would like to tell others that you have learned in all your days of being Nine?

9: I would say that you were never meant to stay stuck. You were meant to move on. To become a 10. You were meant to say goodbye in order to say hello. Suffering in the fear of falling into Zero is held when you realize there is One right by your side. That One is always in you and never outside of you.

That was pretty profound Nine. Wow, thank you. I want to soak that One in. You just arouse different for me. I honor what you are and what you represent. A lot of goodness that can only arise from feeling the fear and even unworthiness of being a 10. Whew! I think I will stop here and let that be in the space today. I am so grateful we had this time together. Thank you for all you are Nine.

9: I am only that which is reflected onto me so I thank YOU for your recognition and how you have honored your own 9 moments inside of you and your growth. Here is to a new you and a new me as we feel and honor the old, that which is meant to serve something bigger than we can both even imagine.

Amen to that Nine. I love you. 🙂

******

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Re-Learning Love As Sacred Humans: A Poem

by Kalayna Colibri

As we love each other more… we let go without fear or tugging.

As we love each other more… we empower instead of enable.

As we love each other more… our words to one another are not empty.

As we love each other more… the eyes of love are the ones we wear and we see each other for who we are.

As we love each other more… we recognize the difference between caretaking and caregiving.

As we love OURSELVES more… we, ad infinitum, love each other more…

… and in this love, we find
even more of ourselves
than we ever thought we would ever see,
feel, and heal
before we realized
that loving more
means
we will never know love in the less.

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart co-founder, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Introduction To The Parts Of Yourself And Soul: SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter (Sept 3, 2018)

It’s the release of our weekly Museletter! Offering ALL of our writings, videos, events, healing offerings, and audio blogs for the week. Go read it here!

This week’s Museletter features a piece by Jelelle Awen, where she offers the perspective of connecting to different parts of you and invites you into a new reality of feeling them more specifically, even outside of sessions with SoulFullHeart. She describes the benefits of connecting to parts:

“Separation from these parts allows for a collaborative relationship to form. The original traumas and woundings happened in relationship and heal in relationship too. You become a loving, compassionate, and curious higher vibrational frequency of love that can rescue, save, feel, and BE with the parts of yourself and soul that most need you.”

There is a brand NEW guided meditation offering from Jelelle this week as well. A quick one that offers a way to clean and activate your chakras.

Many new articles and several new audio blogs this week from Jelelle, Raphael, Gabriel, and Kalayna. These include digestions of energy updates, feeling your life and your relationship to life, yourself, your parts, your desires, and ways to be with your emerging emotional reality.

Raphael, Jelelle and Gabriel offer 1:1 90min Bridging Sessions to help boost and digest your Ascension process and feel with you what your next steps are towards your highest timeline possibilities. These sessions are available for $77 USD min. donation per session. More information can be found here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

We love to share our offerings with you and would enjoy receiving whatever heart donation in the form of money you feel that resonates with our offerings. You can go to our donation page for more info on how to donate: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Way of Life! If you’d like to receive these Museletters directly and automatically in your email every week, you can subscribe on our website at: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/writingmuseletters

Check out the latest Museletter here.

How To Be The ‘I’ Of Your Inner Storm

I am going back into my writing vault to bring back a series I did about art and my healing journey. It was a time of going deep into the bowels of my pain and using a charcoal stick to bring out what was lying within. Though the subject matter looks and feels unsavory, the light of a new awareness and relationship to myself was unmistakable. It has taken the time it has taken, but it all began with a movement, a choice, and a desire to own and love my pain. What I am now discovering as my inner feminine seeking her place within the court, and core, of my heart.

You don’t need to consider yourself an ‘artist’ to simply draw what you feel. It is energy and energy expresses itself in a multitude of ways that doesn’t always look like something in particular. The stick figures I drew were perfect for what I needed to express what I was feeling. If I let a punishing or critical voice expect something more I would not have gotten to the real purpose of the drawing.

This one specifically centered around the inner critical voice I had at the time. It was one that had been with me for as long as could remember and does come out at times to be felt. This was an energy that I deeply desired to tap into as it created extreme energy drops and reactive fusions. As we awaken to the largess of our being, we inevitably wake up our inner demons and dragons. The way we relate to them is what brings about the deepest change. Here is a guided meditation I did to meet and love your inner critic/punisher:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cTe6ayIAWk

When this energy would come up it would kick up all my other parts inside me and whirl through me like a tornado wreaking havoc. I did not see that at the time but needed the eyes and open heart of another (through Jelelle and Raphael) to reflect that back to me so that I let that in because I WAS the tornado and not the ‘I’ of the storm. If you wish to read more you can go here:
https://soulfullheartblog.com/…/healing-art-day-1-critical…/

Art is a powerful tool to access the nooks and treasure troves of our heart and soul. It is the feminine act of creation and intuition that births the mirror of what it is that we are meant to look at and receive with our heart-eyes. It is not just drawing but any form of creative expression that is the gift of our humanity to cultivate and explore to the depths of our being. If you are curious to feel more into the integration and exploration of your own creative healing journey, please contact me or visit the link below. It is a journey that promises to take you to where you need to go, not necessarily where parts of you may expect to go.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.