Category: Divine Feminine / Sacred Masculine

Ahimsa: Healing The Inner Violence To Feel Our Non-Violence

Published on by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

Ahimsa. It is a Sanskrit word that means “non-injury” or “non-violence”. In my recent process of diving into sexual and emotional trauma as a young boy and teen, I have been able to access the more innocent and essential aspect of me.

This In-Essence, I am calling it, is so very sensitive yet strong and enduring. When I tap into it, I feel how much violence I have learned to be with this life, and many others. This is true for all of us when we get to this very kernel of our Being. When I go outside, I am aware of the violence all around. Things that I would not have deemed as violent before. Sounds, words, actions, thoughts, energies, etc.

Now, going down that awareness road could lead me to just hold up in a cave somewhere and never come out. Of course, that is not what I want (well, maybe a part of me would be okay with that for a short time). What I want to feel is how I can practice Ahimsa in each moment with myself, with Other, and with the World.

The first thing for me is to be aware of the violence within and hold it with compassion. From a SoulFullHeart perspective this violence can come in the form of an Inner Punisher and/or our inner unworth. One parcels out the violence the other acquiesces to it. Holding space for both brings them into relationship, into forgiveness, and into healing.

The more we can heal the violence and unworthiness within, the more we become aware of what is not Ahimsa for us in each moment. That which did not seem violent yesterday may seem much more so tomorrow. The thoughts we have, the things we eat, the way we eat, the way we have sex, the way we talk, the things we say, the feelings we have, the expression or suppression that ensue. The list goes on.

It is Consciousness loving Itself in the most subtle of ways. Compassion is the bridge that takes us there. We cannot find ourselves in a vacuum devoid of violence but we can choose what we are a part of and/or how we respond to situations. Ahimsa becomes a momentary mediation on Love, just as much as holding the part of us that doesn’t feel it has ever really known it or deserves it.

Take a moment to be still and feel Ahimsa. Feel what is not. There the healing begins.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

In The Darkness The Queen Is Born

Published on by Deya ShekinahLeave a comment

By Deya Shekinah

It’s hard to share and write as much when I am in the depths of feeling darker emotions and shadow aspects of myself. It feels so vulnerable for my parts to show the depth of grief, unworthiness, self loathing and entitlement they are feeling. For younger parts it can feel dangerous to show these feelings, as they are so conditioned to be good, nice and keep quiet. Yet to show up as the woman I know I am, this process of welcoming, owning and revealing the darkness feels like a key part of maturation and embodiment.

As I danced this morning with the darkness, I could feel how alive and juicy it feels to dance, feel and express these darker emotions. There is a power within them, that feels so connected to embodying and stepping into my Queen. To push intensity and darkness away, to hide from it and make it ‘not ok’, I feel like I am pushing away essential parts of myself as a woman. My passion, my pleasure, my joy, my purpose are all being suppressed along with them. 

There have been times these past weeks where my parts feel like they are drowning in the darkness, like they will never find their way through. To be honest that can still feel like the only reality as I, Deya, am still growing my capacity as a space-holder for my parts, and am still becoming the container that they can rest into and feel held within, rather than becoming them.

I don’t think I have ever felt so shaky in my life. Even as I feel a strength in sharing these words in the moment, once they are out in the world, the unworthiness, fear and anxiety will surely arise as they keep doing. The more I am choosing to step up and shine, to be more authentic, to follow my desire to be in service to Love and to be in intimacy with others, the more these shadows are being revealed.

It feels like there are now no other options, no more hiding places; there is no way to go but IN. To be authentic, to serve and to live in joy includes all of the uncomfortable emotions, to Love and be in intimacy with myself, with life and with others includes them all too. To be a Queen means being willing and brave enough to face the shadows. To be a Queen means to lead by example with a loving, empathetic heart to the feelings of others, because she is in a deep, real and intimate relationship with her own and knows the challenges that will be faced on this journey through her own lived experience.

Love,

Deya x

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

Reclaiming The Lost Boy Of Our In-essence

Published on by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

As a sensitive boy growing up, I could feel so much around me yet had no real guidance on how to interpret, digest, and integrate it all. This is really true for most if not all of us. The biggest piece I am revisiting now is the depth of my sexual trauma as a boy moving into manhood.
Confronted with so many images, energies, and conditionings around sex and sexuality, this boy in me found himself between a rock and a hard place (pardon the pun). There was the desire for innocence to be the name of the game. To dance with the essence in both the boy and the girl. Like a journey of discovery and playfulness.

Instead it was about fitting in to the dominant culture of woundedness. Girl became an object of my need to be validated as a man in the world. Her yoni a portal back into the womb of The Mother. But Girl was wounded too. She was looking for her own needs to be filled…so to speak
Now Boy is caught between fulfilling the needs of both the wounded masculine in his power over the feminine and the wounded feminine in her need to feel some hook into the masculine. Both invulnerable and unable to really see each other in their innocence or in-essence.

I reconnected with that boy in me again and replayed those days while feeling the innocence in contrast. The pain of what this boy packed away in order to survive in that world was heart-wrenching. I could feel the toxicity and pain swelling in my cells. All of the trauma that I never categorized as trauma because men don’t do that in what is just ‘those teenage years’.
If, as men, we were to really feel where we lost our innocence, we would really get to a core of who we are as a man. Why we have done, and to some degree still do, the things that we do. If we can ‘come to Jesus’ with this Lost Boy inside of us, we would find the root and beauty of our masculine innocence. Something we packed away a long fucking time ago.

In that innocence we also find the warrior who has fiercely protected him. The warrior who has both shadow to heal and truth to tell. Between them both is the Man who has a vulnerable heart and a willingness to call bullshit when he sniffs it. He is willing put his heart on the line but not his power. He is willing to seek forgiveness but not condemnation.

There has been no greater process for me than the one I am currently in. This Lost Boy in found again in my heart. I am loving him with every once of it that I have access to. It is my current sacred bromance. It is this process that activates and unearths more of my King or Sacred Sovereign Masculine Self. It is this process that leads me to more self-love and ability to see, feel, and relate authentically to the feminine within and without.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Dearest Daughter: A Loving Message From Divine Mother To Heal The False Mother

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

Dearest Daughter,

I am inviting you now

to feel your legacy, your lineage, your leanings

that lovingly bond you to ME.

Within all this potential,

all this capacity,

all this inheritence,

all this birthright

is ALL that you need to become

the embodiment of ME.

As you heal the false mother,

that you have been misled to follow

that you have been conditioned to template

that you have been required to model….

so then you can let ME into your heart,

into your soul, into your body, and into your BEing

as a nurturing, catalytic, unconditionally loving

Mother to all parts and aspects of you.

You, my daughter, have always been wanted

never actually been rejected

never truly been separated

never completely been orphaned

from the home of MY heart.

You are an expression of my likeness,

just ripe to arise

into your unique version of ME.

I am here,

in all my numerous faces and figures

holding the infinite possibilities

of your ongoing embodiment

as Infinite Love

in Sacred Womanly form.

My love awaits your reclaiming!

love,

Your Divine Mother (With Jelelle Awen)

~

Join me for a special Sacred Feminine arising women’s group call event over Zoom on Sunday, July 5th at 10:00am PDT to attend live and/or receive the recording. I’ve been in surrogacy and ongoing embodiment connection with Divine Mother for over ten years and I’ll share about my process of healing from false mother and healing the motherhood wound to let in Divine Mother. I’ll also be providing a guided meditation with Divine Mother to connect with the part of you that needs the healing and create a bridge to your Divine Self as an embodiment of Divine Mother. You’ll also have space to personally share and take in sharings by other women on the call. You can attend by offering a donation of ANY amount at soulfullheart.org/shop or paypal.me/jelelleawen. More info here: soulfullheart.org/womengroupcalls

The false mother is the wounded feminine (usually has quite a lot of wounded masculine expression) that we’ve all experienced in some form in our daughter experience. False mother can also be a distortion presented by religions from a patriarchal lens or the Goddess paradigms that distance and don’t create an intimate and personal connection to the Divine Mother that we can then feel as an embodiment of ourselves. As we experience more of Divine Mother, we feel ourselves what has been ‘false’ and what has been true.

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Divine Feminine Bridge/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical/mental levels. For information about a free consultation call and 1:1 sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators Raphael Awen/Gabriel Heartman/Kalayna Solais, virtual group call and in person events, writings/books (including Jelelle’s latest Free To Be 5D), and videos, visit soulfullheart.org.

Loving The Spiritual Warrior Into The Spiritual Ambassador

Published on by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

Since the Solstice/Eclipse I found myself flying high in the sky to then falling toward the ocean like Icarus in the Greek myth. An outer trigger that constellated another layer of my wounded masculine and feminine.

It illuminated the ways in which they are both still working out their relationship to each other. As my own ascension and maturation process continues, I reach more subtle areas of my wounded and shadow selves. Then the subtle becomes more obvious and like an elephant in the room.

The awareness I felt was that parts of me still look outbound for validation rather than inbound and from me and the Divine. Before this SoulFullHeart work, I would respond to this awareness by trying to ‘improve’ myself or take care of my ‘shit’. This only brought in more frequencies of self-judgement rather than self-compassion.

Through connecting to my inner world of parts and Metasoul aspects, I have become more clear about who I, Gabriel, is as the ‘eye of the storm’ sort of speak. I am becoming more clear of my Essential self, that Me that is the spark of the Divine.

As I connect to that energy more, I can start to see the architecture of my wounding more and be able to hold the parts of me in vibration and pain. I am the Ambassador of my own ascension. My trailing edge wounds are a part of who I am. I cannot go very far without them. Their ascension is my ascension.

So in I go. Feeling. Reflecting. Compassionating. Loving. Owning and Growing. This is the path of Spiritual Ambassador, not the Spiritual Warrior. Even the warrior is held in Love and not in spite. It has enumerable gifts that are the fuel of our devotion to Love for all humankind and for ourselves as human souls.

For more on this topic of 4D Warrior to 5D Ambassador I highly recommend today’s call with Raphael and Jelelle Awen. They will be bridging these energies through teaching and a guided meditation to bring in more compassion, forgiveness, and self-love. It will be available as a recording as well. To get the details go to soulfullheart.org/freetobe2.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Energy Update: Solstice/Eclipse/’Father’s Day’ Sacred Masculine Codes Illuminating Shadow Masculine

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Solais

The Solstice/Eclipse energies coming in are super activating and A LOT to let in, especially as it feels like they are mostly coming from the Divine Father/Sacred Masculine. Plus, on top of that, we have a blend of the shadow masculine and sacred masculine energies coming in on ‘Father’s Day’. None of this is accidental, of course, and I definitely get the sense that we’ll need to ‘buckle up’ a bit for what is being illuminating and what wants to move within.

As Divine Father/Masculine energies come through, you’ll feel illuminations of your own shadow masculine expressions in this life and others. You’ll likely feel the grab at old relationships to others, to soul purpose work as well that your masculine has needed for a sense of ‘worth’ in the world. You’ll feel the outrage of your masculine and even masculinized ‘warrior feminine’ coming forward in some cases, wanting to set fire to everything in your life and to the 3D systems still collapsing.

None of this is ‘wrong’ to feel and all too often the necessary waves of rage, which is really passion when felt in its leading edge, get put down or therapized instead of heard and deeply felt. These are necessary pieces to feel as the world continues to shift and change and your parts/aspects are figuring out how to respond to it all. Do they conform to what the popular opinion or action-taking is, or do they rebel against it? Do they feel to stay in a polarized position and argue, fighting to convince others of their side… or do they choose to go inward, to drop the sword, to have their truth validated by YOU as a growing and healing ‘self’, and feel their vulnerability in it all?

When the Divine/Sacred Masculine moves through our heart spaces, it penetrates. It pierces through the din within. It creates a poultice because of the potency of its love, to draw out the parts of you that need love and that are convinced that the outside world has to change first before they can feel loved. It’s an energy that shows you its truth and helps you feel your own. It’s an energy that wants you to be empowered yet invites you to heal any need to seek power over anyone or anything else.

This weekend is going to be VERY powerful! It’s a potent time to go inward, connect with the Divine Father face/expression that most resonates for you, and to connect with your own Inner Masculine and what may be rumbling within him/them as well.

Here is a meditation led by Jelelle and Gabriel to help you connect with the Divine Father: https://youtu.be/QTWxFux2KA4

Much love! ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Free Consultation Calls With Gabriel Heartman

Published on by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

So many rumblings and reactions happening right now. So much shadow coming to the surface to be met with love instead of fear. This can be a lot to hold with all of the energies swirling and popping.

In SoulFullHeart we feel all the parts of us that are in pain, reaction, and/or confusion. We feel the Metasoul aspects that may be bleeding through at this time and needing your attention and care.

This is very catalytic work that can be attested to by those that are currently in session space with us. It does require a real desire for change, not just temporal relief. Yet, there is a self-loving way to be with the change that is knocking on your door.

I, along with Raphael Awen and Kalayna Solais, offer a free consultation call to feel with you what your presenting pains/fears/frustrations are and see how the process can navigate you to deep, transformational change. Moving out of the old way of being and into a new way of seeing and feeling yourself and the world. An invitation to the community within you and our community on the outside.

There is support during these times and I would love to help feel how I, and we as a group, can support that. I have been in this process for 8 years now and I have gone from very dark days to a deep and profound connection to myself, to others, to the world, and the Divine. I want to share and serve that to others who are in the space I was back then.

“After only a short time of sharing Gabriel was able to help me identify aspects of my gatekeeper and protector that have been currently activated, and now I can build a relationship with them. Gabriel’s feedback clearly comes from deep listening, to his facilitant and to his own deepest self. I felt seen, and seen through, safely with great compassionate understanding. What I’m feeling is so special about this work is how embodied it is.”

For more about my story you can visit: https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/about-gabriel

For more information on SoulFullHeart Consult Calls and Sessions visit:
https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

You can email me at gabriel@soulfullheart.org or PM as well.

Sending you much love and grace during these shifting and rumbling times.

Feeling The Fears Of Deepening Intimacy In Sacred Union

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

by Raphael Awen

When we hide and compartmentalize our deeper truths to ourselves and others, we are rolling a stone up a hill, that gets larger and larger with time. Eventually, that stone gives way and demolishes those compartments, and reveals much about our fears, our shadow, as well as our light.


I have found this as a pattern that has shown up in my earliest relationships this life, and also in my Metasoul family as well. It came up yesterday (again) in my deepening intimacy with Jelelle, where even the finer attempts at compartments falter sooner and sooner. Ultimately, those compartments are about the fear of intimacy, and strangely (or maybe not so), even a fear of a deepening and proven intimacy.


To a part of me and in my Metasoul, it is still like the deepening intimacy is the stone being rolled up a hill, rather than the withheld truth. Then ‘the truth’ can be used as a threat in an attempt to return back to safety, to manage the fear, which gets into control and manipulation.

I was churning on all this last night and got out of bed to digest with Yeshua and Magdalene as well, being the perfect guides for a gender and Sacred Union need. They both assured me that this is the growth edge of the masculine and feminine now to lead with their vulnerability and their truth, in that order. They were also kind of amazed that I would seek to first find that reality inside as the source of the outward manifestation, as this wasn’t the deeper conscious reality in their lifetimes here on Gaia.
They also energized so much gratitude to me for being willing to walk this out, which spoke deeply to the remorse and almost shame I felt for causing hurt or blocks to intimacy in all of my relationships, regardless of the degree.

This I feel is the new playground ‘I Am’ being invited into, one my soul has always craved and longed for – truer and truer Sacred Union within and without.

~

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

The Suffering And Healing Of The Inner Teenager

Published on by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

Tomorrow in our next SoulFullHeart Free To Be group call, we will be diving into the Inner Teenager part of us that has a lot of wounding, BUT a ton of power and creativity. Right now the Inner Teenager may be coming out in a rebellious nature toward some of the ‘rules’ that are being implemented right now. There may also be a compliance as well. I know I had both in me in my teen years and struggled in the conflict between the two.

This conflict showed up as a desperate need to do well in school while being heavily into alcohol and smoking. I had a lot of mom/sister issues that showed up in my relationship to young women my age. It felt like an all-round hell zone for him in many ways. Trying like hell to fit in but not knowing which ‘in’ was really his.

As I feel him (his name is Chris, my birth name) from this vantage point, I can feel a soul that was winding down the 3D experience and struggling to reconcile that. Until of course he met Jill (aka Jelelle Awen) in college and the journey of self-discovery and authenticity began. It was a lot for him to let go of all that he thought he identified with (family, friends, relationships, conditioned ideas, etc).

He is very much into art and creativity and this too was a conflict as well with deep perfectionism that caused a lot of suffering. A battle between the masculine and feminine waged within. I feel him much more rested in with my inner teenage feminine and they seem to be in much more balance and harmony together.

In him there is a rebellion that just wants to go his own way without a fight. He doesn’t need to get angry anymore or judge others as this was always a judgement of himself. I feel a relief in him for no longer being in those days while still honoring all the process. There were lots of good times among the suffering. Those are what are now left in the memory banks when we look back.

Still much to heal around romance, intimacy, and sexuality but those are on their way with each passing day. Working with Chris in the early stages of my process was one of the most touching and healing parts of my journey. You don’t realize how much you are our teenager until you start to work with them.

If you are interested in connecting with and knowing more about your Inner Teenager, please join us for the next group call tomorrow at 10am PST. You can find out more info here:
soulfullheart.org/freetobe2 or purchase the link and soulfullheart.org/shop

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc. 

New Moon In Gemini: Releasing The Trauma Bond

Published on by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

What a new moon portal today! The last few days have been intense to say the least. I have become aware, through my deep dive sessions with Raphael, of a particular trauma bond that has existed inside of me between me and my sister even as I have not been in contact with her for over seven years.

My sister and I were born very close apart. When many people met us they thought we were twins at first glance. What I am realizing is that this twin recognition came from an energetic bond between us that I am learning has visitation and abduction trauma built in, as well as many lifetimes in one form of relation or another.

I have come to the realization that this bonded trauma created a pairing between us. A contract that we would forever be in each other’s life so that we would not feel the depths of the trauma. Well, I broke the physical contract years ago, but the etheric contract remained.

I was offered to connect to my sister’s higher self and let her know that I was no longer going to hold my end of the bond anymore as it is time for me to go into the galactic and soul wounding that had kept us in a bind. I have recognized how much of this has effected my relationships with women, as it served as a protection and a projection of wound and care-taking.

I have been so focused on healing the Mom wound that I finally found the more subtle sister layer that was out of my awareness due to the depth of the trauma that it was founded on. I am reaching the edges of my galactic wounding that has alluded me for most of this life until this came into view.

What came to me is that this may be true for many of us at this time. Not so specifically from brother to sister, but any bond between two people that has deep roots in trauma. This can be especially true for twin flames. The New Moon energies in Gemini feel to be highlighting this twin dynamic for those that are meant to see it right now.

The trauma bond is something that is hard to let go of as it has such a long history. I had deep tears that I couldn’t place many times today but I could get a sense that this trauma bond was leaving my field and it is almost like losing an essential part of your being that you didn’t really know was there!

The release and detox of this bond feels like a shedding of a skin. It can be a hard process, but when held in sacred space it feels like the most important part of our ascension. I can feel during this time how there is a collective trauma bond exhibited by the fear of this virus. As we clear our own inner trauma bonds, the less energy is added to the collective and thus helps to move the needle one more step toward Love.

I also feel how this will help me to let in sacred romance on a much deeper level that I have not previously been able to transact due to this energy in my being. Quite a remarkable ride the last couple of days. I hope that this provides some insight into your own relationships to see where there may be these contracts that may need a deeper release in order to bring in the Love that we ALL are here to experience.

Much love on this New Moon evening.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.