How To Be The ‘I’ Of Your Inner Storm

I am going back into my writing vault to bring back a series I did about art and my healing journey. It was a time of going deep into the bowels of my pain and using a charcoal stick to bring out what was lying within. Though the subject matter looks and feels unsavory, the light of a new awareness and relationship to myself was unmistakable. It has taken the time it has taken, but it all began with a movement, a choice, and a desire to own and love my pain. What I am now discovering as my inner feminine seeking her place within the court, and core, of my heart.

You don’t need to consider yourself an ‘artist’ to simply draw what you feel. It is energy and energy expresses itself in a multitude of ways that doesn’t always look like something in particular. The stick figures I drew were perfect for what I needed to express what I was feeling. If I let a punishing or critical voice expect something more I would not have gotten to the real purpose of the drawing.

This one specifically centered around the inner critical voice I had at the time. It was one that had been with me for as long as could remember and does come out at times to be felt. This was an energy that I deeply desired to tap into as it created extreme energy drops and reactive fusions. As we awaken to the largess of our being, we inevitably wake up our inner demons and dragons. The way we relate to them is what brings about the deepest change. Here is a guided meditation I did to meet and love your inner critic/punisher:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cTe6ayIAWk

When this energy would come up it would kick up all my other parts inside me and whirl through me like a tornado wreaking havoc. I did not see that at the time but needed the eyes and open heart of another (through Jelelle and Raphael) to reflect that back to me so that I let that in because I WAS the tornado and not the ‘I’ of the storm. If you wish to read more you can go here:
https://soulfullheartblog.com/…/healing-art-day-1-critical…/

Art is a powerful tool to access the nooks and treasure troves of our heart and soul. It is the feminine act of creation and intuition that births the mirror of what it is that we are meant to look at and receive with our heart-eyes. It is not just drawing but any form of creative expression that is the gift of our humanity to cultivate and explore to the depths of our being. If you are curious to feel more into the integration and exploration of your own creative healing journey, please contact me or visit the link below. It is a journey that promises to take you to where you need to go, not necessarily where parts of you may expect to go.

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Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

You Are The Law Of Attraction In Motion

By Raphael Awen

The dawning realization that we are the creators of our own realities, leads us to accepting response-ability to and for that created world. It’s both a made up world and a very real world at the same time. (What reality is there that isn’t ‘made up’?)

Many people attempt to jump from this realization to the idea of creating the world that a part of them really wants, usually made up of externals like things or relationships that make them feel good – a seeking of a kind of medication to numb their deeper pain. The law of attraction teaching comes to mind. Good truth for sure, but in service of what, is my question?

What about instead seeing that your present reality is already been perfectly created by you and parts of you, very much including the things you, or parts of you, like or don’t like.

The law of attraction isn’t something any one of us needs to ‘get working’ in our lives. The law of attraction explains our lives. We are the law of attraction in motion.

‘Real’izing this, we get to accept response-ability for what we have created, rather than seek to use the law of attraction in an ill fated attempt to pave over what we have created.

In facing and loving the unlovable is how we go on effortlessly to create new worlds that didn’t exist before.

Raphael Awen

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Photo by Dave Poore on Unsplash

Being Sourced In Love

By Raphael Awen

Until you accept that every want and every desire is coming ultimately from love, you are unable to see the forest for the trees.

Even the so-called ‘evil’ desires for self-gratification, power, control, destruction are all part of love’s reality that provide contrast and comparison for love to be seen and known for what it is.

Our deep rooted fears of imprisonment in a matrix that we cannot escape from stem from this staggering oneness in love that we are inescapably embedded in.

Our collective and personal attempts at hate, evil and greed are only escape attempts from this essence we are. Existentially, we have a need to press the boundaries, test the edges, and to see what actually is or isn’t. We simply cannot believe the immensity and power of love that we are informed from and with.

Looking at the big trees standing so strong before us of our separation, our tendency for war, our corporate greed, etc. only obscures the forest of love that these trees have their place and rightful lease in; the forest of love. There is only one forest.

This picture is equally true inside of you. You wouldn’t claim to be ALL love as far as every motive and act is concerned, would you? There are the parts of us who are in conflict with other aspects of ourselves who must control, suppress, dominate, obscure, hide, lack integrity, and manipulate with an agenda. There are other parts of us who would of course work hard to keep these aspects hidden even from our own acknowledgment, let alone being called out by others.

But these very aspects of our being are also sourced and rooted in love. There is no other essence in the universe for them to be coming from. They are only doing and being what made perfect sense to them to find their way in the service of love to protect, to manage, to survive in the context of life as they know it and experienced it. Our being chose the experience of the convincing illusion of not-love as a way to come to terms with the love that we are.

The war is over. Love has already won. It wasn’t really a war actually, as there was only one Sovereign behind this war playing both sides to the middle; the center of everything; the center of love. Parts of you just don’t know it yet.

And herein lies the meaning of what we call life.

Life is simply a story of you, me, along with every last bit of super intelligence finding this out for ourselves; for our varied selves; the parts of us marooned on distant islands, loyal to their posts, hunkered down for the long haul who never got the memo that the war is over; that the war was never even a bona fide war in the first place.

Love is knocking on your door today, official signed and sealed memo from on high in hand. You are inescapably and completely love. The post war reality is now to embrace every part of yourself for whom this is not yet true and find ways to accustom them to this new reality as they are ready, willing and wanting.

Raphael Awen
soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

I open my heart to serving you to choose your next growth places. What is next on your heart and soul trajectory? What are your desires and frustrations trying to tell you? Please check out the link above, and be in touch soon.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Routine Is An Illusion

By Raphael Awen

Routine is an illusion created by aspects of our being. A very real feeling illusion for sure. Real enough to create despair and longing, and herein lies the power of this illusion called routine.

Routine is living our lives on autopilot, feeling little, if anything, going through motions that ensure we are being good enough humans despite our being checked out, checked out of our hearts and deeper desires.

But in a super intelligent universe of which each of us are totally a fractal part, even this disconnect from our hearts is purposeful. We go through despair which re-opens us to the innate courage of our own hearts and souls.

We subconsciously choose paths in life because we think that path will spare us from ever having to choose ever again. We go all in, our passion surrendered not to choice, but instead to fully embracing what we chose; to the idea that we won’t ever again be troubled with such grand choices. Commitment, duty, obligation, ‘married for life’ now take up the space where adventure, discovery and true journey once lived.

This however is also a powerful expression of our power to choose, even if it is expressing currently in an attempt to avoid our choice and power. The more we shut down, the sooner we are faced with potent despair and longing, the stuff which our souls are made of, that lead us on to our next places; our goodbyes and our hellos.

My guess is that your life and desires in a whole bunch of areas of your life are rumbling like you hadn’t quite imagined they would. Part of you feels like everything is falling apart. I offer that you are right where you need to be, right in the midst of rumbling routine, with new choices being backlit for you to see and embrace.

I offer a process of finding your own internal guidance through these places and more in a Bridging Session. More here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session I’d love to help – that is if your choice is leading! More T the link above.

Much love, and I so hope to meet you in the journey of courage and adventure that you are!

Raphael Awen

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Art As A Mirror And A Doorway Into The Heart And Soul

Bringing outside what lives inside can be the beginning of a vast exploration of the myriad energies that make up the wholeness of You.

The picture below was done during a time (around 2014 I think) when I was feeling a deep depression that felt almost immovable. While I was in it I feel like I needed to get it out rather than letting it envelop me. I can remember the feeling of barely getting the paper on the table and grabbing the charcoal stick. It needed to be charcoal because it looked just like I felt. Dark and grey.

I remember having no clue what I wanted to draw and just let the feeling travel from my heart to my hands and it translated to a swirl of grey in the center. I was swirling on the inside so it matched. Then it got darker and darker. I smudged the charcoal because that is what I felt like too…smudged. As I stared at the picture a began to feel how I was in this tunnel like environment, on the inside looking out. Wanting to feel something different than what I was feeling. Wanting to feel lighter. Freer. Less confined and dismal.

Then as I felt this energy leaving my being and bleeding its way onto the paper, I felt to draw the figure sitting on the floor of this tunnel staring out. Looking…watching…waiting. I could feel this being as different than me at that moment. He was me and not me at the same time. He was a part or aspect of me that felt this way. He was looking for someone to connect with him so he didn’t feel so hopeless. This is when the depression became not who I was, but held by a part of me that had a story and a reason.

This act spurred on other pictures that were not all that detailed. They were simple yet had emotional substance and a reality held by something inside of me that was not all of me. It became less about depression and more about self-discovery. The sunrise of curiosity was breaching the infinite ocean of despair and I had a relationship to it….to him, or maybe it was always Her. My hidden and disowned feminine wanting to be claimed by her King. Either way, it changed my relationship both emotionally and physically to my depression.

Even if you don’t fancy yourself an ‘artist’ the act of moving something on paper, canvass, or computer screen, can open a doorway to your heart and soul that invites a relationship, a curiosity, and a compassion. This is more than just art therapy, but a beginning to discovering the lost and hidden aspects of what and who you really are in both the shadow and the light. It moves from the paper back into You in a whole new way that doesn’t just provide relief but a new consciousness that can lift you into new technicolor timelines.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

The Death And Rebirth Of Your 3D Self

By Jelelle Awen

Has the death aspect of ascension been validated enough? The necessary process of letting go of the old, the dying, and the mourning that accompanies it? I feel this aspect of the process deeply in myself as I have experienced it so often over the years/lifetimes, in my own Metasoul, and as connected to the Universal soul/Divine Source too. Rebirth CANNOT happen without death, as nature and Gaia show us and remind us. Just wanting the rebirth and the ascension without the necessary death process is to limit the infinite possibilities that TRUE transmutational alchemy brings.

More and more recently souls (and their 3D selves) are just needing to share with me that they definitely feel like their worlds are collapsing, their lives are changing so much, and it feels like they are dying. And, I feel this with a deep compassion as the Divine has offered to me so many times….not able to take the pain away, yet validating that YES, this is the process and you’ll ultimately be OK.

In a VERY significant way, our/your world IS collapsing…..the 3D world anyway and the 3D self that has formed in so many fragmented aspects is too letting go, unanchoring, and this feels hugely like dying as the energy transmutes to a higher frequency.

What has previously been and felt alive….what has been kNOwn as a LIFE…..is going through death throes as the soul’s higher frequencies come through, shine through, and rumble through. These parts of you feel sad and lonely and like no one else in your world ‘gets it’ because, in many ways, they don’t. Those people so beloved to you in your 3D life (and even to your 4D transitional self too) are suddenly not able to resonate on the same ground as you. You are speaking now a foreign language and are forgetting the one you used to be so fluent in. You are compelled to attend inner funeral services that they don’t see the reason for. You are becoming a ghost to them even as you become so much CLEARER to yourself.

I am shown by the 3D Self/Protector aspect esp. scenes of rubble falling from previously solid ceilings…..ash thick in the previously clear air…..blazes lit to clear the excess away. The 3D self wants to be felt in all this letting go and change and it NEEDS to be. You can provide so much comfort to this part of you as it falls and tumbles and loses so much. As your 3D self is negotiated with and felt by you, it can so much more easily let go with MUCH less resistance and fear. More love can flow within your BEing to hold space for this process!!

The beautiful thing that seems to be happening right now is that the gap between the dying and the rebirth is shorter and, in some cases, happening in the same now. The old is being let go WHILE the new is coming in and there is very little ‘time’ left then to mourn. This also seems to be true the more 5D self or higher self coming into your body that you have within you AND the more you have surrendered to the death and rebirth process and already let go of so much of what needed to be let go of. Then, trust grows inside of all of your parts that whatever is being released will be replaced by something better that is based in love and reflection of your soul and service of LOVE here!

Jelelle Awen
In SoulFullHeart, we offer sweet comfort and connection to your 3D self and help you to form a bridge inside with this energetic frequency through 1:1 and group sessions: more info here: Soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Photo by Blake Cheek on Unsplash

Jelelle Awen is a Parts Work/Metasoul & Galactic Aspects/Sacred Union Teacher & Facilitator, and Ascension Guide. She is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life awakening/healing process and community. She has written four books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about bridging and ongoing individual/group sessions over zoom with her for women and other SoulFullHeart Facilitators with men and women, events/retreats, videos, books, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Feeling Your Desires, Letting Go Of ‘Settling’

By Kalayna Colibri

I’ve never felt very personally drawn to the sense that eliminating all of your desires is the path to true happiness. It’s in genuinely feeling our unhappiness because we don’t quite have what we desire that we set ourselves up for our next process of embodying the change we want to experience. Feeling desires does not have to feel like torture, though parts of you may relate to it that way. It’s not about over-stretching yourself into a pretzel to try and “make” something happen, either… though a phase of feeling yourself do this may be necessary for you.

This process doesn’t eliminate the need to feel gratitude. It’s actually a marriage of gratitude for what you’ve had and experienced and even letting in a mourning process of what you’re feeling to let go of, and a sense that you’re ready to move on now, that becomes the process of drawing in your next timeline.

As Raphael Awen has said many times, “the way you leave is the way you enter”. This lands quite deeply for me as I choose my next desires to pursue and let them land deeply in my heart too. There are things that I want, but more importantly, there are experiences of myself and also of others that I want, that are driving me onward into letting in more of what I truly want at this time.

I know so well the rumble that feeling the gap between what you want and want you have now creates in your being and your life. I have experienced over and over again the process of letting go while also holding on to that picture and feeling-experience that lives inside of you that tells you want is truly possible and invites you to feel all there is to feel about that.

This can become a scary process, especially if it is your first time navigating big changes or shifts, or if you’ve been through big changes before but want to move through it all differently now. It takes great courage to move through your timelines and into the unknown. This may feel natural to some parts of you, but completely unnatural and maybe undesirable to other parts of you.

If Ascension is anything though, it’s a letting go of the need to know and feeling all reactions there are to the not-knowing. We cannot ‘know’ our way through this Ascension process, only be with the unknowns of it and feel ourselves walking all of that out. This is the invitation of change and inner-rumble… this is the path to that which you’ve been most deeply aching for.

What are the desires you have for your experience of yourself, love, life, Ascension? What are you willing to move through in order to have and embody what you desire? Can you feel the parts of you that have a push-pull around letting that in?

It IS possible to hold what you want with a growing maturity and willingness to stumble through some darkness… and it IS imminent, that your desires are leading you to the happiness you crave beyond any previous ‘settling’ you may have been ok with for a while, and the fulfillment of everything your soul has signed up for. ❤️

~

My beloveds, Jelelle, Raphael and Gabriel all offer exquisite space holding sessions if you’re curious to ride this unknown horse of your desires more deeply into the next sunrise of your life: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session ❤️

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart co-founder, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Exploring And Feeling The Wounded Feminine Within A Man’s Heart

I feel a sacred journey arising for myself in a renewed journey into my emotional body, more specifically around my inner masculine and feminine polarities. There is a depth of wonder and wound that is at the heart of it. To not go there in my opinion and personal experience, is to miss something profound in our evolution as humans. The emotional body houses our human experience, the ‘data collector’ of our soul’s exploration.

Currently, I am feeling my inner feminine in relation to my inner masculine energy. To fully engage in this relationship as a Man with this Woman can be a bit of a roller coaster. It turns things on its head in regards to how She has related to parts of my life. Was She part of the early rage I experienced as a child? What did She feel about my family, my friends, my jobs, my mates? What does want and need from me as my inner feminine? Who She is and what She wants is a huge part of who I am as a man. Really? Yeah, man, I feel it deeply.

There is a huge elephant in the collective room between the masculine and feminine as expressed in the physical between men and women. There are fascinating mirrors all around us when we engage in this aspect of shadow work that is meant to illuminate, heal, and integrate. This IS spiritual work. This is a deep, powerful awakening into our sacred humanity. The polarity can only be made truly whole by feeling the poles in their wounds and needs.

The feminine in men and women alike is like a genie in a bottle. It has been repressed, suppressed, sequestered, and protected. It holds the imprint of so many those that have been the most intimate to us in our lives such as mothers, sisters, relatives, friends, mates, etc. I am connecting to my feminine through the template of my sister that I have not explored deeply before. It is a fascinating exploration that is illuminating so much about my relationship to life, love, and relationship to others.

For men and women, this offers a profound brave new world that has effects in all areas of our lives. Most intimately it is the relationship we hold within ourselves where this is illuminated the most. As men (as well as the masculine in women), we have tended to negate our inner sensitivity and beauty which is really our inner feminine feeling that of herself. She holds that gift and has not been fully able to feel that from our masculine heart to hers. As her story unfolds, and her needs met, we are given a new look into what makes us truly masculine (and feminine too!). I will continue to write more about what I experience as well as what I get from the beautiful souls that I am serving that are on their own inner gender healing quest. Stay tuned…She is ready to be heard and seen.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Healing Your Relationship To Depression: SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter (Aug 27, 2018)

It’s the release of our weekly Museletter! Offering ALL of our writings, videos, events, healing offerings, and audio blogs for the week. Go read it here!

This week, SoulFullHeart teacher and Facilitator, Gabriel Heartman, penned a piece about relating to what you may have been calling your ‘depression’ for many years now, in a different way. He offers that working with the parts of you that feel and hold the depression gives you a new way to feel about it and a profound way to heal it deeply:

“It is time to treat it as an ally and a guide. A dynamic that is happening inside of you. Not ignoring it, but de-energizing the power of the word itself. It is a series and sum of feelings that have been balled up into a density that is extremely heavy. But when related to differently and with a willingness to feel those individual parts of it, will you then be able to get beyond its gravitational pull and into what it is meant to offer you.”

A few new writings are offered this week from Raphael and Jelelle Awen, Kalayna Colibri, and Gabriel Heartman, that digest current energy waves, sacred community, the ways in which we can relate to ourselves and our parts, and different ways to think about your spiritual and healing path.

You’ll find several new audio blog recordings as well.

Raphael, Jelelle and Gabriel offer 1:1 90min Bridging Sessions to help boost and digest your Ascension process and feel with you what your next steps are towards your highest timeline possibilities. These sessions are available for $77 USD min. donation per session. More information can be found here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

We love to share our offerings with you and would enjoy to receive whatever heart donation in the form of money you feel that resonates with our offerings. You can go to our donation page for more info on how to donate: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Way of Life! If you’d like to receive these Museletters directly and automatically in your email every week, you can subscribe on our website at: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/writingmuseletters

Check out the latest Museletter here.

Masculine Ascending: The Journey Of Finding Our True Man’s Heart

I have been spending some time taking in some deep reflections about my relationship to my own emotional body and its effect on my personal ascension process. Before I began this inner work, my emotional body would move from Zen-like peace to bouts of inner punishment, depression, and anxiety followed by a fifth of Scotch. I was the guy with “so much potential” in relationships and never fully getting what that meant.

As I have come to realize over the years, it was always and ever about being real with what I was feeling, expressing what my truth was regardless of where it came from. So many castles built on sand and a part of me (my protector) trying like hell to maintain that he was on solid ground. Of course, the tides of real love are always there to remind us of this precarious situation.

As a man, this relationship to the emotional body is what I truly feel is the ground of our healing, maturation, and ascension. I can feel how parts of me could use the spiritual ascension as a romantic escape from the real work of going into the heart of my humanity, even the core of my soul in its darkest moments. As men (and I include the masculine in women), we have a collective knack of holding a lot of deep pain in the recesses of our heart. The true man is the one that is willing and desiring to face his stuff, treat it with compassion, and let in the depths of his impact, or even lack thereof.

I am still on that True Man journey. Moving through one fear, resistance, vulnerability at a time. We are all in different stages of that journey, none any more or less than the other. We have others to look toward as models and reflections of what it is we feel we want and can be. They are not ‘ahead’, just doing the work. Even as that work can feel like a black hole at times, the strength of our manhood is not found in a desire to escape, but a willingness to FEEL. A knowingness that the hole is not who we are, but where we come from. It is a sacred part of what makes us humanely divine.

Men have a much different process than women in regards to emotional ascension. We have experiences and legacies that have their own unique variables and responses. We hold a collective piece of all that is manifesting in the world and we hold the key to that Great Change that our inner warriors are fighting for, or even running from. I offer my heart in service to that True Man journey through this inner work called SoulFullHeart. I have crossed my own rubicons and met my own fears. I continue to do so as an infinite unfolding, not as a suffering loop. A much different perspective energetically. The power of being in a one-to-one, and one-to-many relationship that forges a new man, a true man, and a heart man.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.