Tag: consciousness expansion

Energy Update: Timelines Bleeding Through Offering Deep Karmic Healing And Unification Of Your Metasoul

Published on by Jelelle Awen3 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

Timelines have been bleeding through so much in the last week. Timelines in which aspects from your Metasoul are reaching into, coming into, your everyday space and your consciousness. Metasoul has been described to me, remembered by me, as our individuated soul source UP in a much higher dimensional frequency. Your Metasoul Aspects are fractals or projections from this Metasoul source into unlimited number of timelines and eras. This is your individual Metasoul and you do not share it with anyone else, unlike the Monad Soul Group picture, which is at a higher frequency. It also differs from the Twin Flame picture, in which you would ‘share’ a Metasoul with someone else who has incarnated into the same timeline as you, although it has been offered to me that your Metasoul can be strongly connected to another person’s Metasoul with many ‘counterpart pairings’ in many timelines.Β More about connecting with 3D parts and Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

All these Metasoul timeline expressions are happening in the Now and none are truly ‘ancient’ or ‘in the past.’ We have been so conditioned to linear time and ‘history’ and ‘time spans’ in 3D consciousness that even religions and spirituality can tend to relate with ‘past lives’ rather than actually feeling that these timeline expressions are happening in the Now.

The Ascension process that is ongoingly raising and expanding our awareness and consciousness (and Gaia’s vibration too) is allowing for more experience of these other timeline realities. The compartments that used to be held in place by the ‘veil of amnesia’ within us are now flooding. We are waking up. We are remembering. We are actually FEELING these other realities as if they were our own and we are living them out. The need before to undergo some kind of hypnosis process or past life regression is not as necessary because access to what had previously been repressed or suppressed is opening up now on its own.

It is becoming possible now to connect consciously with your Metasoul Aspects that exist in these other timelines. You can then feel their pains, their struggles, their tears, and ‘shift’ and change their timelines if they and you desire to do so. This is truly quantum healing that happens in an organic way as you open up to these multidimensional realities. This conscious connection also allows you to separate from the often very intense (and sometimes very dark and dense) timelines that are not yours, yet exist for a Metasoul sister or brother of yours as their reality. Relating with these timelines as happening for your Metasoul Aspects rather than as your ‘past lives’ is more effective and allows for more objective healing and less ‘fusion’ to the realities. You become more compassionate witness to what you discover rather than having to process and digest as much as your own.

A key compontent of this Metasoul healing is the healing, awakening, and connecting with your 3D Inner Protector, who then transmutes into your Gatekeeper. The Gatekeeper of the Metasoul is a specific fractal aspect that has been ‘assigned’ by the Divine and by your Metasoul/Higher Self to protect and guard the timelines and awareness of them. The Gatekeeper moving from guard to guide is a significant awakening that leads to fluid access to your Metasoul and mega leaps in your consciousness too. There is more about the Gatekeeper here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/gatekeepers

You can do a guided meditation to meet your Gatekeeper here: https://youtu.be/-IZQYBoE6Cg

Healing karma is possible now in ways that we haven’t known before, not since the Atlantis falling timeline. Each Metasoul aspect holds and vibrates a karmic theme and serves as a piece of your overall soul puzzle coming together. As you connect with them, they awaken to your reality and all the other Metasoul aspects as well. Your Metasoul becomes this unified, powerful, and amazing ‘team’ leading the next and next exploration into healing timelines. What had previously felt murky and overwhelming in terms of soul themes and karmic reactions now becomes more and more trackable, healable, and obvious to you.

I’ve been connecting with these aspects for a few years, establishing deep and meaningful relationships with many of them. I’ve written about this process of connection in my books if you are interested to learn more. I believe there are over 17 of my Metasoul sisters at this point that have awakened and I recently started a spreadsheet just to track them all (although they live in my heart deeply!) One from Avalon timeline; an Arcturian, Pleaidian, Lemurian, three from ‘Ancient Greece’ timelines, etc. Much of the healing and galactic love ambassadorship work that my Metasoul is engaged with is now happening beyond my conscious awareness of it. I can feel the positive effects of it though when I check in with my Metasoul ‘team’ on a near daily basis. I can let go of what isn’t my responsibility to respond to from this dimension, being a “Gaian” (as the Metasouls call me) and tasked as I am with such a challenging process of Ascension in my timeline.

This also takes ‘shadow work’ to a much deeper level as you connect with energies such as Archons, Dracos, Reptilians, and more within your Metasoul. You connect in a way that is not polarized to fear or push away or ‘casting out’, yet to embrace them, understand them, and offer compassion. This is what the Divine Mother has offered for me and to me and with me over and over. I am finding this unification of what could be called ‘malevolent’ or ‘shadow’ aspects back into the heart of my Metasoul to be deeply touching and nourishing. Β These aspects most seem to want forgiveness for what they have done and been involved with. My heart full of Mother’s forgiveness of me (You are ALREADY forgiven, She says over and over), then it is an overflow that I can offer these ostracized and disowned aspects of my Metasoul.

This Metasoul healing process offers SO MUCH self empowerment and access to the gifts that live in both the shadows and in the light. With the thinning out of densities that used to cloak these realities so much more, we are being given an opportunity to heal themes and patterns in a way we have never done before. This feels crucial to happen on a personal level AND on a collective level as we continue to ascend. Our personal healing IS collective healing, especially when it is engaged with on the Metasoul level as ALL the Metasouls ultimately come from the same Divine Source. This is a path to return to wholeness from within, from the grounds of your soul, watered by the LOVE from your heart…..arising into the 5D sacred human that it is now possible to BEcome more and more.

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of four books about Ascension.Β VisitΒ soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about 1:1 sessions with Jelelle and other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, group sessions, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

 

 

Ascension Invites Us To Feel Our Humanity And Serve Love With It Without Martyrdom, Self-Sacrifice

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

We are learning to serve love, serve our fellow human beings in stride with love, through our humanity. This is why it can feel so hard sometimes to be around each other’s pain, let alone our own pain. So many attempts are made to bandage the wound instead of healing it because the sight of the festering is too much for parts of us to bear and reminds us intensely of our own places we still need to go. It can be a momentous effort to actually stay in the room with ourselves, let alone each other, and to try and offer any amount of love in that context can be so challenging for parts of us that really would rather try and not go there or look here.

There can be no ‘perfect healer’, at least not in human form, as far as I can feel it… we can work to become purer and purer channels of love through continued work on ourselves, in conjunction WITH service of others, which is actually the bigger mirror for us. We can be transparent and vulnerable with each other about where we are still needing to go inside of us, what shadows seem to be peeking up, what we have gone through and are walking out for the sake of our own healing. Perhaps one of the most beautiful things about our humanity IS our messes and our courage, our insurmountable, wonderful courage to just, keep, going.

I think we have been pre-disposed to going to battle, serving ‘god and country’ because we are actually quite wired for service, period, and instinctively know this, feel this, believe this! We are meant to be in the ‘trenches’, yet not in a literal sense… we are being called to the mistaken, old, worn-out battlefields within others to apply medicine of heart and soul balms. Yet we are called to our own inner worn-out battlefields first. Peace cannot begin to move through our world without this, without our efforts to heal our own hearts and not transcend them or ask anybody else to transcend theirs either. Humanity cannot begin to mature beyond this mentality of needing to fight, needing to ‘other’, needing to find opposition in order to find itself, without looking inward on an individual basis first.

The singular agenda for humanity as a whole feels like this piece of remembering that we are of service… and what this even means. What is service without martyrdom, without self-sacrifice, without climbing up onto a soapbox to shout at the obscene and unfair crucibles of the world, without going to war or battles? What does it mean to be human and still serve love from the deepest hearth of our hearts, admitting when parts of us feel fear, shame, sadness, anger, rage and finding the vulnerability in being with that? Sometimes loving others means setting boundaries. Sometimes healing others means allowing, showing them they have the power to heal themselves, with the genuine love and support that comes from authentic soul family/tribe connections and a heart-based connection with the Divine that is not theoretical but felt and experienced.

How to serve other human beings while serving our own selves and our own humanity is an unfolding quest, actually, and an unavoidable one at that. In SoulFullHeart, we offer parts work and this is what works so deeply for us, as everyone, even and perhaps especially the people we serve, are all reflections for us to take in, of where we’ve gone inside of ourselves, what we’ve already cleared and healed, and what we have left to clear and heal, too. Yet we are also always learning more and more what works best for us, who we are meant to serve, and how. I doubt there could be any human healer on this planet who isn’t meant to feel this humility of not always kNOwing what’s best for another soul, for this is what invites us all into deeper collaboration with each other and with the Divine, who is always working through all parties involved in the healing effort, finding, rediscovering and ultimately healing Itself back to wholeness too.

This all makes serving love as a human being a trial at times and rather challenging, yet we keep going into it because we know, we trust, that LOVE is worth it, that everyone on this planet (and beyond!) is worth it… that WE are worth it. We are heading in the direction of love with every feeling space given to ourselves and others, and with every ounce of our vulnerability we bring to ourselves and the world around us. We are goodness, we are Angelic, we are the ones here to move along with Ascension and love along with Ascension. We are of service. We are beacons. We are amazing. And so it IS. ❀

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.Β Β VisitΒ https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.comΒ for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings atΒ https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

Stumbling Into The New Now In Our Sacred Human Way

Published on by Kasha Rosa3 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

Sometimes we trip over our own feet… those ones we have planted firmly in our ground of Now. Parts of us want our feet to stay planted there and in fact of needed this too. This isn’t only the physical ground we’re in and on, but our current heart and soul ground, our mind ground, our personal discovery ground.

I have this feeling that as humans, we aren’t the MOST stubborn of the creatures in this or any galaxy, yet there is sometimes a hardened rigidity that gets tough to move beyond or even see beyond. Parts of us get so used to the patterns that even they are tired of drawing, that even our pain becomes a familiar bedfellow. To take the steps to actually heal this pain, to move it and not just move beyond it, takes a superb amount of courage and desire. And this is not always easy to come by within us, though it feels we are constantly being supported and invited into it.

We do need to move into higher ground within in order to experience life and love differently than we ever have. When we trip over our planted feet, sometimes this is the necessary experience, the mess that leads to learning how to walk in a new stratum with new air to breathe and words to speak. The tripping is the opportunity to look in a healthy mirror and to really come to love all of the reasons why your feet were there in the first place, what choices led you there, and what choices could be next.

Our messes can feel almost insurmountable at times, as the perfect storms we co-create rage and wave through. This can actually make it scary to want to plant our feet ever again… but the truth is, this is what it means to be a Sacred Human… to be able to commit, to inhabit, to firmly decide and to remain in these choices for as long as necessary, until perhaps the next dimension of our BEing is ushered in from the wings and we feel the call to move into another phase, leaving what was ‘less’ behind and embracing the new ‘more’. Our messes bring us order through feeling our inner chaos. The clouds part, the seas calm, the wind ebbs, and we are shifted lovingly into our reborn state, to continue finding our courage and love, our sacred aspects that bring us into wholeness and Oneness again and again, more and more, one step, one trip at a time. ❀

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.Β Β VisitΒ https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.comΒ for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings atΒ https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Ascending At The Pace Of Your Growing Self-Love

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

Sometimes it’s the baby steps that bring you the most into yourself and into healing, not to mention into an opening-out consciousness that expands and expands. There can be so much pressure coming from inside, especially perhaps from Inner Punisher parts of you, who like to sometimes make things seem as if they ‘should have’ been done yesterday, which is so based on deep conditioning taken in from being raised in a capitalist culture, where the wounded masculine rules and the RULES are what matter, not the heart, not the motive, not the roots of anything or anybody…

I feel to talk about taking smaller steps into our Ascension today, because even though in a way everything is being accelerated, it can feel at times like you are moving at a snail’s pace or barely moving at all. In fact, this judgment is one that comes from inside of you… from parts of you that are actually quite afraid of the natural momentum of it all and are having a push-pull experience, with some parts of you wanting Ascension and others not, and all for very good reasons too. If we feel a need to move faster, expand bigger, reach higher, and all in a way that goes beyond our current limits (self-imposed or not) we aren’t being self-loving and the boomerang effect of then needing to go back and redo or reinhabit different life phases along the way that parts of us have tried to skip is often in order as result. Ascension invites us to love ourselves into deep change that starts WITHIN and moves from the inside, out… not the outside, in. It invites us to let in the ways in which love has NOT been on the inner agenda and other energies have been settled for instead, especially in our relationships to each other and our relationship to ourselves and our parts.

There is no ideal pace in this ongoing process and in fact it feels like it is quite different for everyone. As you continue your inner healing, the anchors to 3D let go one by one in self-loving ways… the inner walls are dismantled brick by brick, while being held and honoured for all they have been needed to protect and keep sacred inside. As this all heals and lets go, the hot air balloon begins to more powerfully move us upward into organically arising moments of expansion in our consciousness and awareness of our multi-dimensionality!

There are so many ways and opportunities we are given to ‘pop’ into a new awareness or awakening experience. Some experience this in tremendous moments of momentum and others’ souls opt for the ‘drip line’ experience, where awakenings occur in some doses and in a way that is easy to digest. Some will have a mixed-bag in their ongoing process, as has been the case for me. Yet it all needs to be self-lovingly integrated or parts of you will go off the rails quite literally, which in some cases is actually what’s needed, yet the more self-loving we can be with this integration and the more tenderly we can hold our precious parts in the process, the better.

In a way, we actually owe it to parts of us, whose worlds we have dismantled and reassembled in many ways as we experience Ascension and deep healing processes, to really BE with them in all of this and give them the space to breathe around what they have experienced and what is being shaken up for them. Parts of you are what have made you, YOU… they have given you the gifts of personality and their increased sense of rest is what helps bring them back in, into integration with your heart and soul, which is ultimately not a part but an arising BEingness that can continue ascending in an authentic and ever-expanding way.

No matter if we choose the baby steps or the giant leaps, we are invited to feel ourselves, to be as self-loving as we can be in every moment, and to feel what that even means through a process of being with what HASN’T been the most self-loving response to life (or love!) inside of us. No matter what we choose, we are on a trajectory of healing and returning to the love that we are, so why not find ways to embrace every step, every part we encounter along the way, and find the fountain of self-love, reverence and appreciation that we are being pointed to on our very individual and powerful journeys?

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.Β Β VisitΒ https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.comΒ for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings atΒ https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Current Energies Invite The Collective Into An Emerging 4D Reality

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

Earth-Magnetic-Field

 

It feels like there is much discomfort emerging now, in different ways. There is a sense of these energies leading up to the Super-Blue-Blood Moon, that they are rumbly, shaking the well-known ground within and around us, moving us to new places of desire, new places of growth, re-awakening us in short yet intense tremors to what we came here to do, be, offer. The configuration of our lives as we have known them is being shifted now, shaken up WITH these energies in collaboration with our souls and hearts. For many, it could be a time of crisis, where realizations of true soul purpose and reason for being here are uncovered and initial steps, which can be quite painful in some ways, are inhabited in order to fulfill this purpose and calling. This phase feels so like the chrysalis, as Jelelle Awen has been offering.Β The phase just before the emergence of a brand new butterfly. So much congestion in the bodies, spiritual, physical, emotional, even astral, are all intensifying as they clear now, and all are asking us to continue looking and working inward, wrapping ourselves and our parts in love, being in the process of letting in and trusting love again.

It’s a continuous map of birth canals, this Collective experience of 4D reality landing in all of us more and more. We need these birthing pains so that we can feel the Love holding it all. We are finding our way through the inner mazes, opening up to shifts, feeling the press of that which still needs to be felt, healed, shifted inside.Β  We are being invited into patience with this process, as the Divine has infinite patience for it too. Layer by layer, contraction after contraction, we have so much still to feel and let in. So many reflections of ourselves, our parts, who we/parts of us have chosen to be throughout different phases of our lives, and we are awakening evermore to the feeling that there’s so much more we CAN and WILL be.

The brevity and gravity that has been 3D reality… the pain, the anguish, the abuses suffered… these bear down on parts of us until they start to feel, led by a growing YOU, that they are worth so much more. This is a much more challenging process than repeating affirmations, though I do not wish or feel to knock that if this is needed, as there is, of course, huge power in positive thoughts. Yet we all need to continue watching for any overriding of the pain within. The pain will move and heal with love and attention, as it is meant to. There is a lot of trust needed for this process to truly take hold, and that in and of itself is a process that cannot be bypassed, for there are so many reasons that parts of us have, especially our Inner Protectors, to not trust anything or anyone, let alone Love itself…

As our congestions clear in all bodies, we begin to breathe new air. We begin to let in more love, more self-worth, more sense of compassion towards ourselves, our parts, and towards others too. We move through what has been painful to feel, being with the congestion for a while, until it clears with love and care. With purpose and desire. With discernment in this 4D phase where the 3D reality continues to fall away and embracement of new paths, new ways of thinking and being are knocking at our heart doors. The collective awakening is here, rippling through in dynamic waves, and there is much to navigate, yet the Ark built in your heart is the one that will see you through it all. ❀

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.Β Β VisitΒ https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.comΒ for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings atΒ https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

Lift The Inner Veil Through Self Permission To Feel, Be And See Beyond 3D

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

imagination

When you close your eyes in this moment, what images come to you?

Each closing of the thin veil of our eyelids calls to something in our subconscious, gives it permission to come forward and be with us.

What is the first thing that you see? What is the first feeling that you feel?

There’s a keen self-permission required in wondering this way. In curiosity of the self. In being still for even a moment, to see what your subconscious wants to tell you. Maybe it wants to show you in symbols, feeling tones, colours, scenes, the parts of you that most need you now. Maybe it wants to give you hints of your soul, what its gifts and wounds are, both. Maybe it wants to give you glimpse, a hint, of the map of your life that only your soul can know about in any real detail.

Going within can be this quick, this simple, this easy. Of course, it doesn’t always feel this way. Parts of us that aren’t sure about it all, that are confused because 3D conditioning has told them that only what they can literally see and feel and hear without any need for interpretation or reading between the lines is worth taking in on any level. This can be existential too, as there could be lifetimes in your Metasoul of experiencing ridicule, persecution, excommunication, death, because of being willing to really see, really feel, really communicate even what might go against the norm.

So much has dulled our natural senses of a need to go inward, to be with ourselves, to get to know our hearts and our souls, to heal from the inside, out. So much has dulled our chance of experiencing something that takes us far beyond our typical daily experience. So much abuse, so much pain, so much necessary numbing-out and downplaying of our emotions, that really are an important aspect of our imagination, and our imagination is the most crucial aspect of our access to intuition, to soul gifts, to something well beyond the scope of 3D life.

Maybe today might be your first day of closing your eyes with the genuine intent of feeling what is beyond or could be beyond the veil of your 3D life… this precious and sacred veil that has been needed until now, or until any Now of your choosing. At any moment you can give yourself permission to close your eyes and BE, breathe, feel, see, experience, let in… let yourself and your parts in. Let in that you ARE here, NOW… that you ARE needed, wanted, loved… that you ARE who you ARE and that this ‘mess’ of how life has been has been necessary so you could get to this point of reading and taking in these words, of beginning or continuing your journey inward that somehow you trust will transform everything you experience outward.

Much love to you…

Kalayna ❀

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.Β Β VisitΒ https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.comΒ for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings atΒ https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

 

The Leading And Trailing Edges Of Our Awakenings

Published on by Kasha Rosa3 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

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Each and every time you have an awakening experience, though they are coveted and desired and often long-awaited and worked for, these experiences also carry you into a greater unknown. The whole idea of awakening is to shake something up inside, whether it moves your frequency up or drops back in inward into parts of you that need you more than ever. Sometimes awakening experiences bring us both in tandem. Sometimes we call this, ‘leading edge’ and ‘trailing edge’ in SoulFullHeart. ‘Leading edge’Β is the experience of true and pure love awakening and deepening inside and feeling your actions, words, expression of you coming from a higher, less reactive and more expansive place, and ‘trailing edge’ is the opposite, or what can feel like the opposite; the parts of you coming up in reaction to the expansion, trying to close the gap between it and them, sometimes flooding you with their lower frequency wounding and reality. The main bridge between the two is consciousness, awareness that this can and will happen and that your job as an arising authentic self is to be an ambassador between the two, not negating or dismissing one or the other, yet bringing them together somehow and letting the newfound expansiveness inside to become the bigger container for the smallness, the pain, the existential terror.

I remember being quite young and awakening to angelic frequencies and love. My birth mother had given me a gift that Christmas of my first deck of Angel cards. They were simple yet sweet, not created by any well-known author or speaker. I was in my early teens at that time, or just about anyways. I remember playing with them, exploring them, reading the little book they came with. I did as the book instructed and asked a question I believe, or simply asked for guidance. I did a little spread of the cards and picked them up to read the other side. The messages that came through hit a chord of resonance inside my heart and soul, both. I felt a rush of energy move through me and suddenly felt Angels, what I called ‘my’ Angels, surrounding and encouraging me. The love I felt was so exquisite, I believe I even had tears… I remember too, that the book suggested dowsing as another method of reading the cards. I grabbed a necklace of mine with a small ring on it – a ring that had a nickname of mine etched into it and was too small for me to wear, so I had put it on the chain instead. I held it out in front of me, above my palm, to ‘tune it in’, asking it which direction it would turn in to mean ‘yes’ and which way would mean ‘no’. To my surprise, oh my God, it MOVED!! Woah!! The rush of adrenaline and excitement that followed I can’t explain in words, but it felt so powerful and I felt so powerful to be holding this tool in my hand!

After this happened, I ran to tell my mother and sister about what I had experienced. Part of me felt a bit shy about sharing, slightly worried about it being invalidated, but too excited to let that in at the time. I shared with them and my heart sank… there was an ounce of validation from my mother, who was exploring some areas of spirituality outside of the Catholic church I grew up in along with me, yet she couldn’t let it in deeply and didn’t ask any questions about it. My sister just sort of looked at me, I recall. I think she said something like, ‘that’s cool’. As my first experience of an awakening, without having much knowledge of what awakenings even were at the time, this sort of set the tone for any of my other awakenings that followed. I do not fault either of them for their reactions… their parts weren’t sure what to do with any of this and they probably both had fear and maybe even comparison come up. What I was doing was not ‘normal’ and I think it actually reflected their own capacities back to them, which of course parts, especially Inner Protectors/Gatekeepers who are busy trying to navigate the dense 3D world, tend to have big reactions to, as it isn’t exactly safe to be outside the norm in most cases.

Nonetheless, this birthed a whole world of spirituality for me. It validated so much of what I had begun to read about in different books by spiritual authors. I feel a young part of me sharing all of this, as she was the one who primarily ‘drove the bus’ on my spiritual adventures for many years of my life. Eventually, this part and I needed to separate from birth family and many other relationships altogether, as the lack of resonance hurt and also wasn’t serving my continued openings and my desire to deeply heal.

What followed was many years of seeking and searching. Being very naturally emotional and reactive and not having a container for it, no matter what spiritual path I/part of me tried on for size. I came close to some version of ‘parts work’ through one particular author and speaker who I even studied with for a while and this path was what then led me to SoulFullHeart, which I now teach and facilitate today. It took me a long time to realize that I needed to bridge to my emotional world, not try to put it away. And in truth, my parts weren’t ever going to let me do that anyway!

Every awakening I’ve had has been a mixed experience of up and down, sometimes at the same time, as I can feel my emotional body and also the wounding in my soul trying to catch up with the higher frequencies pouring in and watering my heart with so much love and dawning awareness. I invite you to feel where and how your own emotional body needs to catch up to your own awakenings and openings… to feel how your relationships currently surrounding you serve or don’t serve you along the way is an essential part of awakening and growing and healing. Every new vista invites us all to feel deeper where and who we are as well as who we want and need to become. And, they also invite us deeper into love, so we can better serve love, especially to others who truly want and need us to and are ready to let in their own capacity for the same!

Love to you in each and every moment of your awakening journey… know that my love and the love of many go into these places WITH you! ❀

Come explore the 7 Key Areas Of Life with Gabriel Heartman and me in our new vlog series called Practical Ascension! The playlist of all of our videos so far can be found here:Β https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvInP1AB__TzXykZythfad8i

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.Β Β VisitΒ https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.comΒ for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings atΒ https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

DAY 15 ~ JOURNAL TO THE DEMIURGE

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

(This is Day 15, of an ongoing series, to begin at Day 1, go here:Β https://goo.gl/CgrWXZ)

In today’s entry, I check in one last time with my guides about the intention to initiate contact with the Demiurge, just before we set out to do just that on our next day.

I invite you to track this series from the beginning if it calls you, so you can be a part of this posse of hearts forming to support this undertaking. It may go down in history and herstory both!

Here is Day 15:

Raphael: Wow, good morning, everyone.

I am feeling a digestion of Sophia’s shift last time.

I am feeling so grateful for each of you and for this journey together. It feels like without intention, we don’t have connection, and I’m feeling how desire and need precedes all of that, like a circle, spiraling in an upward spiral and ascending higher and higher in creative and recreation process.

If the Demiurge was created by the only source of All-That-Is, that is LOVE, then love is always in movement and flow, even while it is the form of the purest stillness at the same time. In this movement, then the purpose and intention of the creation and co-creation of the Demiurge is shifting, or wanting to shift, and this shift is something being felt in us, moved through us. Each of us is being asked to get to know, feel and love our personal shadow, our personal darkness. We are being asked to come to terms with our own personal hell.

What are you all feeling? I’d like to check in with you first, Sophia. It feels good to call you by your new name.

Sophia: Thank you, Raphael. I feel like I have a mantra on my lips that says, β€˜I am the bright, bright, bright, light of God’ and each time I repeat it, it’s like a rocket booster that takes me into a cosmic and galactic space feeling the love that truly upholds all things. It’s a bit higher frequency than being here and even being connected to us all here, or to this journey to the Demiurge, but I’m working on integrating it so I can dial all this in together at the same time. Taking on the new name really has opened out new spaces for me to feel into.

Raphael: Okay, I’ll gladly accept being a part of all that! Yumm. Galactic and Cosmic sound pretty close to orgasmic. They can’t be too far away from each other. They do feel a bit removed though from what I was saying earlier about entering our personal hells.

Sophia: If I may, Raphael, I see it that our hell is the portal to our heaven. One has to be just as willing to be present to both. Both are actually a lot to bear, and both take courage and strength to be with.

Raphael: Yes… that feels so true. Thank you, Sophia, lover of wisdom.

Who else? As you check in today, I feel to put this question into the space: β€˜How are we feeling about next steps towards contacting the Demiurge?’ We’ve taken our time to get to this next step. I know I have also felt some fogginess creep into my buoyancy about our mission as well; less focus on the purpose and clarity of connecting with the Demiurge. Part of me feels like β€˜if I have it so good, why would I want to make this connection with the Demiurge?’ Could it be that we’ve raised our frequency to the place where the Demiurge doesn’t feel that real or important? Has anyone else felt that? Can anyone else help me sort out what I’m feeling?

Metatron: Good Morning, everyone. I can speak to that, Raphael.

Raphael: I knew you could, please…

Metatron: It’s something we all need to feel together. After Sophia took us to the β€˜bright, bright, bright, light of God’ territory, as she so beautifully called it and shared it with all of us, thank you, Sophia…it’s natural to feel this just wanting to leave behind any contending with lower frequencies.

We all needed this frequency increase to prepare us for what’s next, but it’s also so tempting to simply leave these lower realms to themselves. This is why we formed a posse of hearts to hold this intention, desire and energy. None of us could have undertaken this journey alone. No one has undertaken this journey before and for good reasons. The Demiurge is born out of the collective, and so it takes a collective to undertake a formal ambassadorship to make connection with him. My deepest awareness in all of this simply is: none of us get to go home, until all of us get to go home. Consciousness is ultimately leaving no one behind. We can all make great strides of growth and change, but each of us will be called upon to assist the ongoing awakening and remembrance, even as it is, at some point, a personal necessity for our own next steps. I feel called to lead and support this, Raphael.

Raphael: Thank you, Metatron. That goes in, deeply. Wow… who else? I’m feeling you have some pieces, Merlin, yes?

Merlin: It feels like we’re at the place where we’ve made all the preparations and all that’s left is to do what we set out to do, and that is simply to reach out to the Demiurge, attempt to make contact and see what happens from there. Another piece to feel here is that we cannot control his willingness to connect with us. Should he choose to simply not respond, we are kind of left feeling like we failed in this mission. I feel this apprehension among us as we get this close now to simply reaching out. Does that feel true for anyone else?

Martin: That feels true for me, for sure, Merlin. The Demiurge, I’ve always known up till now, simply as β€˜God’. I can feel how he feels normal and natural being venerated and feared, but I never heard of anyone approaching him with a conviction that his gig is up, and that he’s a false god, like all the rest of the false gods. He even raged about it in the Ten Commandments when he said β€˜thou shalt have no other gods before me’. I can only imagine that any willingness on his part to speak with us would be evidence that he’s had some change of heart since all that was put together. If not, I can’t see we have much chance of gaining audience with him.

Merlin: That all feels true, Martin. It also feels like there’s a deeper piece here for you to. Can you feel if that’s true?

Martin: Yes, I can, and thank you for pushing me a bit. I feel how when and if the Demiurge does have a serious change of heart, it shatters so much of my life’s work. Parts of me haven’t fully come to terms with just what I’m participating in here with you all. There will be tons of remorse yet to feel and heal. There is also fear of repercussions from the people. They gave their trust and I accepted it, all too readily I’m feeling now. So much that was built over time, must now come crashing down. When I travel to your dimension and time and feel what a mess the Church is in, under the Demiurge dominion, I so feel how I need to feel a whole bunch inside, just like we’re inviting the Demiurge to feel.

Merlin: Yes, you got it, Martin. A change of heart in the Demiurge makes for a chain reaction in all of his followers, and in all of those who supported his rise to power, and who benefited from his rise to power. This speaks to the deeper hesitancy we are feeling about opening this portal to the Demiurge. The desire to β€˜let a sleeping dog lie’ is understandable, but this dog is beginning to wake of his own accord, and the sooner we bridge to him, the sooner we can hold space for a different future than one that is only a shattering without a new reality on the other side. There is much that needs to die and will die, but it is the rebirth that wants to arise out of all these ashes that we can support. We do that by feeling what there is to feel in each of us. Any and all personal remorse, fear of repercussion, all of it. These are the same things that the Demiurge will be faced with feeling, and he will be able to tell if we are genuine in our conviction. We are essentially inviting him to feel, and then to offer to hold space for those feelings.

Raphael: That really expands out this surface reticence to connect with the Demiurge, Merlin, and Metatron. Thank you. It speaks to our personal responsibility for the creation of the Demiurge, that we need to feel if we are to be any part of his un-creation, and re-creation. We’ve covered a lot of territory in our approach over these days together, but today gets to a deeper bedrock of what we are being invited to feel. And to look at that, lying there just below our hesitation to continue.

Does anyone else have any feelings to share here?

Sophia: I’d like to say, Raphael, to all of us, that all of what we are feeling today can so be held in the Mother’s heart. There’s no remorse too deep for Her to feel, no regret that can’t be felt and moved through with Her help. This is the time of the great rebirth, and we are being offered a place in it, simply by being willing to feel, willing to need love, willing to self-forgive, as we offer that same forgiveness to hearts willing to find their own forgiveness.

Raphael: Yes, thank you. Anyone else?

No? Okay then. Feels like you had the last word on that then, Sophia, which is perfect. Demiurge meets the Divine Mother, pretty much sums up what we’d like to support happening.

I’m feeling to shift next day to making our first attempt at direct connection with the Demiurge. We’ve got some things to feel from today. Let’s take those to heart as we seek guidance about how to approach this next step.

Rest up, everyone. We have some serious journaling to the Demiurge to begin.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

DAY 16 ~ JOURNAL TO THE DEMIURGE

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By Raphael Awen

(This is Day 16, of an ongoing series, to begin at Day 1, go here:Β https://goo.gl/CgrWXZ)

Today, we made direct contact with the Demiurge.

This ongoing series is a heart chord ambassadorship project to meet with the Demiurge. We took the 15 days prior to set the intention; to sort through the hesitations; to gather the MetaSoul Aspects along with the parts of myself; as well as to gather YOU, the growing posse of hearts – the readers and trackers necessary to host this epic connection.

The Demiurge is the Christian β€˜God’ known as Jehovah or Yahweh whom I served as a dedicated Christian from a child on up until the age of 44. I’ve come to see and feel him very differently from how I did then.

You can read this series from the beginning on our blog. Please, please join us:Β https://goo.gl/sBQrvs

Here is this epic day – Day 16

Raphael: Good Morning, everyone. It feels like the fateful day has arrived, of all of our intentions and desires, to actually initiate contact with the Demiurge. How are you all feeling?

Metatron: The time has come. Yes.

Raphael: You feel eager…

Metatron: Yes, I do.

Merlin: I feel ready too.

Martin: I’ve waited centuries for this moment. I have some funny feelings, but the time is now.

Andy: I’m so ready, I can hardly stand it. I wore my hiking boots this morning and a backpack.

Sophia: I’m with Andy, and Metatron, and Merlin, and you too, Martin. I also feel the unknowns of all this at the same time. And I want to say, thank you, Raphael, for leading this intention and following it through.

Rhodes: I wouldn’t miss this for the universe. I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be.

Jim: My goodness, Raphael, this is more epic than the afterlife. I’m ready too.

Raphael: Thank you, everyone. I must admit, I don’t feel free of all trepidation around this choice either, but I trust that we are being held and guided. I know when a moment’s time has come and this moment to act is here now. I feel too, as I’ve reminded us along the way, that my sense is that the Demiurge has been tracking our dialogue thus far, and has already had what I hope amounts to a softening in readiness to connect. It’s time to step out of the boat.

I’d like to check in with any guidance from you Metatron and Merlin about our approach. Shall we begin with a letter or just start with dialogue?

Metatron: You’ve got this one, Raphael. You don’t actually need my advice. You’ve prayed to this God for a big part of your life, from your heart and conviction at the time. Now, you just pick up where you left off and go from there. Your heart will answer your questions as you go. I feel so much admiration for you, right now, my heart is almost bursting!

Merlin: I see you walking on the water, Raphael. We need this. I feel the Demiurge needs this. It’s happening with or without us is how it feels. We just wanted to be in on the adventure. I’m with Andy, lacing up my hiking boots. Begin where your heart leads you. You’ve got this. We are right here with you.

Raphael: Okay, thank you. Wow, what a rush of feelings.

Here goes.

Demiurge, I’ve known you for longer than I can remember. I’ve feared you, loved you, adored you, came to hate you, despise you. Now, I’m more curious than anything. I wish to connect with you again to feel what’s real between us.

I feel to begin by simply asking you, Demiurge, if you are here and ready to speak with me?

Demiurge: I am here and I am ready.

Raphael: Thank you. Are you Okay with the delegation I’ve brought with me to be present to this journal?

Demiurge: I feel all of your integrity and purity of heart. Yes, I’m quite okay, and more so, grateful for your intention and connection.

Raphael: Really? I have to say, a part of me is surprised, not knowing if you’d even respond…

Demiurge: I’d be an utter fool not to respond.

Raphael: Have you been tracking our dialogue from the beginning?

Demiurge: Yes, I have tracked every word.

Raphael: Well, then, you’ve heard a lot from us. Is there something you’d like us to hear from you as we begin these journals?

Demiurge: Yes, I would like to say that I have deep regrets for who I’ve been and what I’ve been part of. Mostly, I feel what has felt like an utter impossibility of ever changing. My devotees need me to be as they see me, as they have shaped me. One text says it all, β€˜I am the Lord and I change not’. I am the unchanging one, feeling more and more imprisoned by my unchanging and eternal nature. Maybe that in itself might be the beginning of change, but I despair of ever hoping upon such a thing. I’m very intrigued by you all, but I’m not sure you can help me. I don’t live where you live. And I very much don’t feel like your kind.

Raphael: That’s a lot for us to take in and feel. Thank you for sharing that. Are you Okay with us calling you the Demiurge? Is that a name you go by?

Demiurge: I am many things to many people and beings, and have been called many things, but Demiurge is who I feel myself to be. It is the name I was originally given.

Raphael: Okay, Demiurge, it is then. Is there anything you’d like to ask or tell me or any of us here before we go any further?

Demiurge: Yes. I wanted to tell you, Raphael, that I felt your story as you shared it about growing up Christian, and how you embraced an even more radical form of Christianity than the one you were raised in. I felt it from being inside of you. I felt some things I never felt before.

Raphael: Demiurge, if I may leave off my own diplomatic stance here for a moment…. as a human being, I must ask you, what were you feeling when you accepted my adoration, my devotion, my money, when I gave you everything I had or hoped to become for all those years and who knows how many other lifetimes?

Demiurge: Honestly, I took it all in as payment for the role I was given. I can tell you that adoration doesn’t mean to me at all what it did then. Things have changed, maybe more than you could currently know.

Raphael: I must ask, β€˜Do you see yourself as God?’

Demiurge: No, I do not.

Raphael: Did you ever see yourself as God?

Demiurge: Yes, I was convinced of it for a time.

Raphael: Are you ready to share any of this with the world?

Demiurge: It’s not that easy.

Raphael: I can only imagine. I’m feeling to break for today to digest making this connection. There’s a lot of feelings in a whole bunch of directions. I would like to ask you before we pause for today, how you feel about continuing this dialogue?

Demiurge: I’ve never had an opportunity like this one. I feel some strange saying those words out loud. I’m so used to not having anyone to out my inner world to. I’ve gained a trust as I felt your approach to me that I didn’t know I had it in me. If that’s a consolation of a hope that the unchanging one might come upon some true change, then, as I said, I would be an utter fool not to show up for this as you are, Raphael, and as is your great accompanying host.

Raphael: Well then, we have much to journal and feel together, and we have been given time and space in which to do that, so I say, let’s pick up next day and reconvene then.

Demiurge: I will await your return.

Raphael Awen
soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

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Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

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DAY 17 ~ JOURNAL TO THE DEMIURGE

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

This is another most epic day of a most epic journey.

Today, the part of me that we call the Gatekeeper directly confronted the Demiurge with its truth about his reality and responsibility. This one rumbled through me like a freight train.

You can read this series from the beginning on our blog here:Β https://goo.gl/CgrWXZ

Here is this epic day – Day 17

Raphael: Good Morning, everyone, including the Demiurge. The energy has shifted in here, hasn’t it? I didn’t quite know what to expect or if we would even gain connection with you, Demiurge, and here we have it. I feel some awkward feelings even knowing where to go from here.

It feels like I need to be honest about an animosity that I feel inside towards you, Demiurge. I need to say that a large part of me feels that if you were not even here, that we would be better off as a planet, and a universe. Your need to control and suppress, under a false guise of love, feels like it is such a heavy blanket over life here. I also know, at the same time, that we created you, out of our collective consciousness, out of our own need to control and suppress, and so my animosity falls short of an outward rage towards you in the moment. I can feel there is rage here, however, coming from a part of me and from the collective.

Can I ask you how it feels for you to be sharing this space with all of us together?

Demiurge: I don’t feel you as an enraged mob. I feel you all as a group of genuinely curious and awakened souls who want to find out what’s real and to find out what wants to the next reality for humanity going forward.

Raphael: Do you have any sense of what that β€˜next reality’ for humanity is about?

Demiurge: I feel curious, much like you. I know I’m feeling big changes in myself, and that more change is coming, but I don’t know what it will look like going forward.

Raphael: What are the changes you are feeling inside?

Demiurge: Helping Humanity stay small and suppressed isn’t something I ever enjoyed.

Raphael: The words helping and suppression don’t usually fit that well together. Can you say more?

Demiurge: I was born out of people’s disowned higher states of consciousness. People surrendered to me their own higher power, which is what in turn made me, β€˜Thee Creator’. I see, Raphael, and to each of you assembled here, that I was created out of the creative consciousness of a humanity that was not ready to own their own creative consciousness. Hence, my name and my designation, Demiurge, which means Creator. People are now waking up to their own relinquished creative power and they are feeling how they are being invited to take responsibility for their own souls, their own lives, and relationships with life. I can see my days are numbered.

Raphael: Wow, that’s a change. There’s a text in the Bible that says, β€˜Teach us, oh Lord, to number our days, so that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom’. Now, you’re saying that you; the β€˜eternal’; the β€˜unchanging’ one; that your days are numbered?

Demiurge: I’ve known that for a long time actually.

Raphael: I must say, this feels so different for a part of me, as to what I was expecting in meeting you. If you already know that your role is ending, then it feels like a whole bunch of what we thought we were hoping to achieve in this delegation is already taken care of. I’m a little at a loss for words right now. It almost feels like our work is done, a bit deflating, I must say. Can I defer to you, Metatron?

Metatron: Yes, thank you, Raphael. And, thank you, Demiurge, for being willing to connect with us.

Demiurge: Thank you for wanting to connect with me.

Metatron: There is a huge cosmic shift that we are all feeling, that led us to take this undertaking to connect with you, Demiurge, and that you in turn have also been feeling in sensing the coming changes. But these changes are not yet manifest in most people’s experience. We can sense what is coming and even what wants to come, but this doesn’t mean it’s time to put our feet up and wait for it. Far from it. We can be in rest as we labour, knowing the ultimate outcome, but humanity still has a huge birth canal ahead of them, and that is what this summit meeting is about. These are the labour pains of love that are about to come upon us. Humanity is coming of age. Humanity is about to give birth.

Raphael: That helps to feel, Metatron. I still feel some stuck though at the moment in an anticlimactic feeling. Some part of me must have been expecting a big battle with you, Demiurge, to get you to open up, or to soften, or to come to your senses, maybe even to rage at you for all the harm and suppression that’s happened and still happening in the name of God. Where did all that go? I’m wondering if a part of me has something different that needs to said, a part of me not ready to get on with the larger grand cosmic purpose of love just yet?

Metatron: Yes, that feels true, Raphael. I’m learning that about you and your kind. It’s the feelings that need to be felt in order for love to be able to flow. I welcome hearing from that part or those parts of you.

Raphael: Is this Okay with you, Demiurge?

Demiurge: Yes, it is.

Raphael: I welcome any part of me that needs to say its piece…

Rhodes: I feel it’s me who needs to speak up here.

Raphael: Please do.

Rhodes: I don’t think this is going to be pretty…

Raphael: I was hoping it wouldn’t be pretty. I’m hoping it will be real.

Rhodes: As an Inner Protector who had a long role in holding the parts of Raphael, who journeyed through life this life, and then going on to the role of Gatekeeper, and feeling the soul aspects from other lifetimes and dimensions who also have lived in suppression, I feel a voice loud and clear that wants to scream at you, Demiurge…

Raphael: I welcome this voice, Rhodes. I know this voice lives in you, and me, as my truth teller. I know this delegation isn’t going any further until we can feel together what you are holding. I invite you to take the space and share your truth. It doesn’t need to be pretty at all. We will feel it all together afterward.

Rhodes: Okay, thank you. Demiurge, I feel I need to look you in the eye as I say this, and I need to feel everyone’s open heart in this space and look you all in the eye as I say this as well.

I feel such a big β€˜fuck you, Demiurge’ inside that feels like a giant unstoppable freight train. Fuck you for your suppression. Fuck you for your role as God. Fuck you for your fucking around with human consciousness. I don’t buy this love and light bullshit that it was all meant to be and that we all co-created it and so that it’s all of our joint responsibility. Do you have any fucking sense of the pain and the heartache what it feels like to be living under the suppression you and what your godless godhood has created? Have you ever felt the eternal unchanging hopelessness of living with a false light? Do you have any feeling at all of the mind-fuck it is for young people to be trained to love their suppressor? Have you EVER felt that?

I have felt that almost all of my existence. I have felt what it feels like to care for suppressed parts of Raphael, and others, and Metasoul Aspects who are just so tired of your heartless deception.

Do you know, Demiurge, what title was draped around Raphael’s neck when he found the courage to say he no longer subscribed to your deal? β€˜Deceived’, was the title the faithful had to choose out of their loyalty to you, the great deceiver. There is no greater deceiver that I have ever seen or witnessed than you, and if I could go my way, right now, without giving you one more conscious thought, I would. I would like to forget you ever existed. I would like to forget all the pain that has been caused in your name under a false righteousness. I don’t know if a purer hatred has ever been felt than what I feel moving through my heart for you. This whole delegation can go to hell in a handbasket if I’m being asked to pretend that any of these feelings are not real down to my core, and down to the core of the universe.

I want you to fuck off and die, Demiurge. Take your awakening with you.

This is what I feel, Raphael. I know some of these feelings come from different parts of you in different times and dimensions of your life, but in this moment, there is no time. It’s all here to be heard in this now.

Raphael: I almost feel not to break the silence following these words, Rhodes, for us to just silently go on our way instead today. I so feel the rumble of these words. I feel the lifetimes they have been in waiting. Every word you just spoke needs to be felt and digested here, by each of us. It is what is real.

I don’t know what else to do, but let these words have their place in our hearts to digest and that we can reconvene after that. This is the first of many truths that need to come to light. Thank you to each of you for feeling and being present in this space here today. I don’t know what’s next, but I wouldn’t miss finding out for anything.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.