Embrace Rather Than Resist: Nothing Inside Of You Is Truly Negative, Dark, Or Evil

Published on by Jelelle Awen6 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

The pain comes from what has been resisted inside of you rather than embraced. The suffering comes from continual loops that pit one energy inside of you against another one. Resistance is feeling anything as ‘evil’ or ‘dark’ or ‘negative’ inside. Resistance is judging without love your body, your behaviors, your choices, your experiences.
 
Resistance is labeling things as ‘negative entities that attack you’ and then going to battle with them or to war with them (even with ‘light’) or trying to cast them out. Such a long legacy of this approach with roots in exorcisms, some Shamanism that now takes the form in New Age spirituality as ‘implant removals’. This feels like fear trying to fight fear with more fear. This only seems to produce MORE fear inside of you and in response to the outside world.
 
To embrace rather than resist is to BEcome curious, to BEcome loving, to BEcome your own ambassador to ALL the energies inside of you. To see all of what has felt like outside that is ‘doing something bad to you’ as actually coming from INside and that it has been necessary to be there. Each of these energies has stories to tell you, pieces of YOUR puzzle to offer you. While you resist them, while you label them as bad or wrong, while you disown or reject them, while you hold tension and panic in your body, while you respond in flight or fight…..you cannot create and hold the loving space to find out and discover what they are here to offer you. You cannot experience the GIFTS that these energies actually have to offer you.
 
These energies arise from often very intense unhealed polarities from one part of you to another; a dominating masculine and a repressed feminine; a dominating matriarch/inner mother and a repressed sensitive masculine; an inner mother/matriarch or inner father/patriarch and a very sensitive yet rebellious inner teenager. One of the usual dynamics is a rather ruthless feeling Punisher part of you and the corresponding shame/unworthiness that comes up in the inner child and inner Teenager in response to it. Another polarization can be the 3D Self parts that are trying so hard to remain anchored into 3D to be ‘safe’ there and the 4D awakening parts and Metasoul aspects that just want to ascend and yet don’t know how to be a bridge. Aspects from other timelines/lifetimes can be hugely polarized against your reality and everyday ‘modern’ living. More about parts and Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts
 
To embrace rather than resist is to BEcome a bridge to all of these polarities. To BE in the middle of them with love, to recognize where the source of them comes from, and to provide love to BOTH sides without actually taking sides. This ambassador YOU is watered by the Divine, who never takes sides, who never sees anything or any BEing or any energy as ‘evil’ or ‘truly negative.’
 
All energies serve a purpose in their creation…..until they are ready to move back into love again for which they are being constantly invited by the Divine to do so.
 
This ambassador YOU is your Divine Self, your Higher Self coming into your body. Your Divine Self can offer a brand NEW reality of acceptance and forgiveness to ALL dynamics and polarities and inner relationships that it finds and discovers. Your Divine Self feels when someone else’s unhealed polarities and fear are being projected onto you. When a healer or teacher has not undergone the deep dive into their emotional body and soul field to heal and feel their own polarities, it is difficult for them to offer you a truly uncharged and loving energy in response to yours. Their unhealed fear inside projects onto you and triggers the parts of you that are also in fear. I have seen trauma created from this in seekers and in teachers/healers that are innocent in one way in perpetuating this unfelt cycle with each other.
 
I know this sounds simple in some ways. Embrace rather than resist. Yet, what is challenging about this is that we haven’t been given the language to describe these dynamics. We haven’t been given a model for how to BE this way with ourselves and ALL parts of ourselves. Instead, we have been fed, bred, and served clashing polarities in our governments, in our parents and families relationships with each other and with us, in our religious and spiritual groups, in our professional and cultural societies. This has been 3D going into 4D, to experience this clash of separation, isolation, competition, contention, insecurity, scarcity, distrust, and lack of surrender and to accept it as ‘normal’ and even necessary.
 
ALL of us have received this conditioning as we have chosen to be here during this phase of Ascension with Gaia. To battle and to fight is ingrained in our Metasouls, where multiple and many timelines are playing out these very inner polarities expressing on the outside. To pick up the sword, to lash out in words, to take sides….this has been our dominant experience in 3D and even going into 4D as well.
 
You have probably put down the swords that parts of you used to take up towards others. You probably have forgiven others in a deeply genuine way.
 
Yet, now, is the turning inward and offering to yourself and ALL parts of you what you have extended to everyone else. Now is self forgiveness and self compassion that FLOODS all parts of you with love that transmutes, that transforms, that brings HOPE and infinite possibilities to every cell in your BEing and every remaining trauma and pain in your emotional body. Now is to BEcome your own love ambassador and bring diplomacy and peace to any warring factions that remain inside your BEing.
 
Now is to embrace rather than resist….inviting it all by love and with love to BEcome love once again.
~
We provide support for the arising/rememberance of your ambassador self and a bridge for your connection to all aspects of yourself (led by you) through sessions. More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions
Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation…more information here. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Subtle Energy for Beginners Series ~ Day Three ~ Spirit And Matter Are One

Published on by Raphael Awen1 Comment

By Raphael Awen

Are you starting to see how we’ve made energy experiences into something they are not; how we’ve elevated them to some false definition, a false separation of ourselves from the world of energy that then excludes us from seeing and feeling ourselves as energy? We created our own reality where we only experience the third dimension and mainstream reality perception as real.

(Go here to find all the posts in this series: https://goo.gl/WqWXXb)

My more literal conditioned mind doesn’t quite grok the ‘fish in denial of water’ analogy. I don’t deny the air around me. It’s right here. I can feel it in my lungs and in the breeze. However, when I ‘feel’ air on a far more subtle and energetic level, I feel how this vital source of energy is energizing every cell in my body, every moment of every day – most of which, I don’t usually give a second thought. I ‘take it for granted.’ I minimize it, or I’d be walking around awestruck and quite dysfunctional to any task at hand.

This points to the whole challenge of ‘reverence’ vs. ‘taking for granted’ and this challenge is at root of our ability to embrace the reality of ourselves as energy. Taking something for granted is just that, owning it as yours by right of having been granted it, rather than receiving it with gratitude. One is entitled and shut down. The other is reverential and in awe and wonder.

We have nothing that didn’t come to us by way of a gift. It wasn’t ours to begin with, so it is reverence and gratitude that acknowledges and possesses the ability to truly receive and enjoy the gift. I enter or exit the world of energy by my willingness to enter the world of gratitude and reverence. Gratitude and reverence are the keys to the portal of the world of subtle energy.

This again so puts willingness above ability as the portal to experiencing energy. We’ve made it about some kind of exotic ability as part of our resistance to change, choosing to perceive some people as unusually gifted, and ourselves, not so much.

There are credible reasons about what would incline us to exclude ourselves from the world of energy in this way, as well as to segregate ourselves into a perception of our materialistic expression being different from our spiritual expression.

We are on a deep soul level, from our original birth as souls, predisposed to an understandable ingratitude and irreverence and that has to do with a soul-birth-trauma reticence of not wanting to re-experience the pain of deep change and loss with another shape-shift into seemingly entire new worlds of being. We’re like the screaming child not wanting to leave its parent’s side to enter school or to be left in the church nursery.

Gratitude and reverence are keys that unlock more change and we’re far from sure that’s any good thing. Parts of us hold a reticence to expand while other parts of us ache to grow.

Our birth as souls out from the Divine was a huge alteration of the reality (energy) that we once were into a new one, and this required a forgetting and a veil for it to be true enough for us to receive the benefits we intended. This is the same veil we wrestle with when we try to come to terms with our reality as energy. It is a homesickness so deep in our souls that we are not ready to feel for fear that to feel it would surely cease our existence in our more familiar domain. We are caught between these two worlds, one known subconsciously in our essence, the other known experientially in physical form. We want to remember and we don’t. Both are true, and both need to be felt and honored if we are to make any real entrance into the deeper world of the subtle energy that we are.

We perceive energy as malleable and shifting, whereas the physical we perceive as solid and unchanging. So we desire to deny any other reality as an alien one, to protect the domain we have now. We know all too well, on a soul level, the pain of the deep loss of our original estate. We say we’ll believe in energy when we ‘see’ it, denying the deeper sense of vision we all innately possess as the energy beings we are. Even stranger, we say we’ll believe in energy when we see it, denying that physical sight IS energy!

If you are willing to admit that you are energy, then every experience you are having is an experience of energy and its flow or current. This sets you on the edge of new and infinite frontiers of experience. This also makes you your own authority on what’s real and what isn’t.

It’s your world and you are making it all up as you go. Accepting this, you can begin to really love the parts of you both hungry and hesitant to enter this new and unknown definition of being. You embrace and feel each part of you and the energy they hold and you introduce them to the energy of one another and the energy of your awakening heart to all that is.

Now you are forming your very own anti-gravity device that isn’t bound by time and space constraints like the world we’ve created here in the third dimension. You are opening yourself to all that is.

You are a true beginner, beginning new worlds that are way ahead of everything else! Welcome to your real world where spirit and matter have no dividing line. Spirit and matter are one. When you accept this as what is, you deconstruct a huge wall that was previously constructed between you and the world of subtle energy. Your natural capacities for clairvoyance, clairaudience, and clairsentience arise like an infant learning to walk adapting to the physical world, first toddling, then walking, then running.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

FREE PDF of Jelelle Awen’s book, Under The Bloated Banyan, available today!

Published on by Raianna Shai2 Comments

Jelelle is sharing today as a FREE GIFT PDF her spiritual memoir called Under The Bloated Banyan: My Journey From Awakening To Disillusionment Within a High-Demand Spiritual Group.

“Banyan covers a six year span of time starting in December 2003 where I began my awakening journey through parts work process in earnest. It also shares my courtship and dating and eventual marriage with Raphael after we both left the group together in 2008. None of my soul family friends and teacher would talk with me after this time and I also gave up my livelihood as a facilitator of the work. This was such a bittersweet time. Falling in love while it felt like so much of my life and who I felt that I was connected to the group falling apart. I learned so much during and after this time about myself, parts of me, my Metasoul legacy, and what kind of leader/teacher/healer I wanted to be and NOT be.

The content in Banyan (I first published it for a couple of years in 2013) was once controversial and very vulnerable for parts of me to share this story as many people still in the group (and once my beloved soul family) judged and criticized me for sharing it. Now, the group has been dissolved for a few years, so there is less charged sense about sharing it again. This phase of my journey now feels like a movie, something that happened to someone else in some ways, an alternative timeline. I can feel the parts of me that have since healed from being so self conscious, anxious, drawn to dysfunctional and even abusive relationships. Yet, still, it lives in my heart as very real and, of course, my sacred union connection ground with Raphael began in these soils.

It feels timely to share this story too as the collective moves from spiritual/religious codependency models such as the guru-devotee to the sovereign “I” experiencing Unity Consciousness within a community with healthy leadership. I think you will find this story interesting if you have been curious about what it is like to be in an intense high-demand group and esp. If you have drawn this experience yourself this life or just are curious to feel and know more about my personal journey. Plus, ultimately, this is an inspiring story about love and how it prevails and is often revealed during the most dark and difficult circumstances!”

You can purchase this book in e-book and print editions too, as well as her other three books here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/books

You can read an excerpt here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/under-the-bloated-ban…

 

~

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation…more information here. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Our Nine Years Anniversary Of Sacred Union Grounds Together

Published on by Jelelle Awen3 Comments

By Jelelle and Raphael Awen

This is the beautiful anniversary video that Gabriel Heartman made for us!

By Jelelle ~

Nine years ago, I joined my intention in marriage with Raphael’s….in the moment and for all moments that followed that would be in mutual desire and resonance. On some level, it all felt like a whirlwind….we started dating in July and were married by March (after knowing each other for a couple of years). We had already moved through two major geography changes finally just getting settled in Canada when we married. We also went through the collapse of our whole social and spiritual world by leaving (being asked to leave, told to leave or not be together because we were deemed to ‘codependent’ although only together three weeks!) the spiritual group we had both been part of for a few years.

I am sharing today on March 28th as a FREE PDF, on the anniversary of our wedding, the memoir I wrote of the six year period that includes my awakenings and disillusionments within the spiritual group, first dating and falling in love with Raphael, AND the recovery period after leaving the group together. Most of the writing is from actual journals that I kept during that time! It is called Under The Bloated Banyan and you can receive it by emailing us at soulfullhearts@gmail.com.

Banyan shares the story of our courtship, which was the highest highs of desire moving through, my body calibrating to what it feels like to REALLY be wanted by a man and my heart letting in what it feels like to REALLY be cherished by a man. AS I was also going through a Dark Night of letting go of ALL the souls and my previously beloved spiritual teacher that I had been close to for more than five years in the group. Ups and downs, bittersweet, and yet, always was Raphael there for me, over and over, in complete devotion and utter eagerness to be together.

Those ups and downs have settled over the years as Raphael and I found our way together through many changes and transitions yet, always, arising our way through it in union. We took our wedding rings off two years ago, feeling like it had been other parts of us (going by our birth names Wayne and Jillian) who had exchanged those rings even as the core of us was there. We felt so different after years of parts work, being in the crucible of sacred union together that had burnt away so many layers, letting go of incomes and geographies and just about everything there was to let go of other than each other.

We even felt that the significance of this day was a memory from the past and we were arising in the NOW together. Yet, I do feel in my heart a tenderness for this day, this anniversary, and where we were at that time and who we have been through the years and who we are arising into now as Raphael and Jelelle.

Our usness keeps expanding as we do and keeps vibrating at a higher frequency at all levels and in all areas – sexually, emotionally, spiritually. We are more and more connecting other lifetimes together (energizing NOW) such as in Atlantis, Lemuria, and also our star BEing aspects from other galaxies. Very little conflict between us any more and when it happens it has a Metasoul/other lifetime root cause, fewer words needed, more soul connection deepening and collaboration in our service of love together purpose through SoulFullHeart…

I feel we are Counterpart soul mates to each other, which I prefer to the twin flame paradigm. Counterpart soul mates share many pair bondings with each other in many timelines together, usually with one partner choosing female and one choosing male most often. This pairing is agreed to by the Higher Selves to heal karma together, to experience sacred union together, to become One yet not the same together.

I can feel how our relationship could feel like a fantasy or idealized, yet it is not, it IS very real. We have had to go through the dark together to illuminate the light and the love yet that was always there. We have had to say, ‘no’ to anything that was less than this love or didn’t serve it. We have had to commit to awakening and to our own personal process OVER everything else, including the relationship.The goodness overflow in a relationship can only deepen and grow if the partners are committed to their OWN growth first.

So I celebrate a love today that I am SO BLESSED to experience and have been so blessed to experience for these 9.5 years…..thank you Raphael…..my king, my BEloved, my co-creator, my love for sharing this life of serving love together and ALL of the phases and spaces our love has taken us!

~

By Raphael –

I’ve been married to Jelelle Awen for nine years today!

The marriage itself in 2009 was a tiny affair with about a dozen people including the officiant inside of a studio apartment and was necessitated by the need to make Jelelle a legal resident in my Canada ASAP. A month earlier, I had just gotten banned at the US border for hiding that we were engaged. With Jelelle’s California now off the list, and us taking up residence in Vancouver, we feared being told by another government that we couldn’t be together. We half joked about moving to Mexico in order to be together if need be. Our hearts simply wanted to go all in.

Jelelle entered my life very unobtrusively via email one day back in 2005. She was the manager of the business coach I was doing weekly sessions with trying to get myself free of my little painting contracting business. My coach had told me his manager would be in touch to arrange a phone call as he had decided to leave the company and I would be getting reassigned to another coach. A few days later, as expected, I received an email from Jill (Jelelle’s name at the time).

You’d have thought I was a 14-year-old boy seeing a naked woman for the first time or something if you saw me that day looking at my email. It was a very strange reaction indeed that left a part of me looking at myself with a weirded out look. ‘Are you Okay?’

As my life was at some really big turning points that year, I was drawn to check into the spiritual group my coach was a part of before I lost contact with him and so, some months later, I had driven down to Oregon to attend a seminar being offered. I had forgotten about Jill until a few days before the seminar when I found an article she wrote on the groups website. ‘Well, I guess, I’ll kind of know two people at the seminar’, I thought to myself, ‘my now former coach and Jill’, his former manager who I did end up speaking with for a few minutes a few days following the ‘weirded out’ email.

Jill and I greeted one another on the first day of the seminar and acknowledged the phone call from several months earlier. She said ‘I still recall on my notes from the call I had written and circled three times “someone I can connect with” [in regards to whom I’d like as a new business coach] as you repeated that so emphatically’. That pretty much said it about me then and it still does today.

What happened next is a long and amazing story (about 286 pages worth) and you can read that for free if you’d like as Jelelle mentioned we are offering her story of our beginnings today. PM or email me your email address at soulfullhearts@gmail.com and I will send you the free PDF of Under The Bloated Banyan.

Three years after meeting Jill that first time, we finally became a couple. (I say ‘finally’ because it was my third time to bring an attraction. Life took off like a rocket, even more than it had three years prior when I left behind a stable marriage of 23 years and my Christian faith along with my entire social world as I knew it. Our much beloved spiritual group and its leader gave us an ultimatum to choose between dissolving our relationship or leave the group. It was abusive and we had the courage to admit what we’d been avoiding. It was time to go, but where? Jill and her daughter (Raianna) lived in California, and my little fine tuned livelihood was situated in Canada.

Wait, I’m telling the whole story again aren’t I? Like, I said, get the book.

What I’m really wanting to say today is something more vulnerable. I felt Jill was the biggest prize in this entire group and entering a relationship with her was so off the charts to everything I had dared imagine. Yet, I had done just that in the months prior, allowed myself to dream of a new life with the mate of my dreams before I could see her on any horizon of my life. Now, that I was in a relationship with Jill, it was a very good thing I had consciously chosen this and wanted this so deeply with everything in me, because the relationship called me to show up for what I wanted and tested everything in me. Our relationship got us kicked out of our beloved group and, then, the United States! Geographies, careers, families, all of it rumbled deeply to make room for what our souls had brought us to.

I entered a very socially secluded space in life where our relationship was not only at the center of everything, but was almost everything. The spiritual group was gone. Other than the grief of that loss to process, there was no social world we were a part of, other than Jelelle’s 15 year old daughterRaianna Shai and a few employees in my painting business, with whom we were friendly, but not friends. That in itself wouldn’t be that unusual, but what made it so bizarre was having a romance that was so utterly amazing with no place or people to digest it with or see its reflection, other than with each other. Each day seemed to take us to new places in connection, in heart, in desire, in sensuality and sexuality. This gave me the strange feeling of trusting the relationship more while also heightening the fear of losing it at the same time. The trust was more conscious I’d say and the fear more subconscious.

The one surviving piece being redeemed for us from the spiritual group we were a part of was awareness of parts of ourselves. I could see, feel and track the parts of myself and their needs in relation to all this unfolding. At times, I would go for a walk alone in nearby forest and have tears of amazement and appreciation at these amazing parts of me who could show up ongoingly for such an adventure, with so much change.

I still don’t know what I fell into. I’m still falling actually. Nine years later,…. looking for the handrails. Today, I will reach for the handrail of gratitude for the being named Jelelle this life, who I live and breathe with, where our average physical distance apart is about 11 feet.

Thank you, Jelelle, for BEing with me, with your exquisite BEing, for BEing in this adventure with me of love, of risk, of discovery and of service!

~

Photo was taken on our wedding day nine years ago in a small studio apartment in West Vancouver….Ah newlyweds, although we are STILL like this!

Jelelle and Raphael Awen
soulfullheartwayoflife.com

Subtle Energy for Beginners ~ Day Two ~ You Are Energy

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

Thank you for joining me for this ongoing personal exploration into the world of subtle energy. This is Day two. Go here to read this series from the beginning: https://goo.gl/WqWXXb

Here is Day Two:

I was standing near the counter in a crystal store about 8 years ago looking at some of the goodies under the glass counter when a porous looking and feeling fellow around my age came by and we greeted one another. I asked him about his relationship to crystals and energy and he said, as he tapped his finger on the chrome edge of the display counter, ‘It’s all energy. Everything is energy.’ I recall being so intrigued by his words and wishing him to go on. I knew he was correct, my mind just wanted to become more fluent to get it, to be able to explain it. I knew we are all coming more and more to see that the world of spirit and the world of matter are not separate as we imagined them to be AND I knew I had a long ways to go in opening out this awareness.

I still do. We all do.

We get to reinvent our understanding and our experience of life. If part of you honestly doesn’t like life as you’ve known it, this may be for very good reason. This part of you knows that life as you’ve known it, and as you were sold it, is missing something huge, and that something has been hidden in plain sight.

This Subtle Energy For Beginners series will set out to open out and expand that conversation at the crystal store that day. I want to revisit it from ‘beginner’s mind’. I want to begin again and see where in my previous beginning I made certain assumptions about the nature of reality and see if those assumptions are ready to be challenged. I want to re-create my world with a new set of assumptions and try them on for size.

Subtle energy has to do with the ability to track, to feel and even transmit energy fields. Whether it’s a Reiki energy session or a prayer line of a charismatic church service, many are awakening to this world in recent decades, but it’s still quite in its infancy for us collectively, more of a sideshow or a therapy than it is a deeply ingrained natural way of life.

Things like clairvoyance, or ‘clear-seeing’, the ability to see beyond what physical eyesight can see; Clairsentience, or ‘clear-feeling’, the ability to deeply empathically and intuitively feel what the physical five senses cannot; clairaudience, or ‘clear-hearing’, the ability to hear beyond what the ears can hear; all of these are waiting to be integrated into our normal everyday waking reality.

Why is it that this entire world of subtle energy is discredited, disputed and disbelieved by mainstream culture and science?

Why are many who are convinced of subtle energy as being real are conflicted over what is ‘from the dark side’ and what is ‘from the light’?

Why is it that those who do believe in subtle energies struggle to enter and experience this domain abundantly for themselves personally?

I’m going to offer that the answer for all of the above questions has to do with the very same thing; it has to do with the fact that we are energy.

We are energy. We are not the physical body. The physical body is a downstream expression or a manifestation of the energy that we are. Our conditioning so doesn’t get this, and actually doesn’t want to get this either. We are actually afraid of our energetic reality and how seeing ourselves as energy will change our relationship with all of life as we’ve known it up till now.

Our conditioning instead sees the opposite, that the body and its biological physicality are the highest order of reality, and then this conditioning goes on to include, exclude, and measure everything it encounters or aspires to, through that lens.

If it is true; that what we actually are is energy, this takes us back to revisit the question of ‘what is energy?’

The dictionary offers these words to help us understand energy: vitality, vigor, life, liveliness, animation, vivacity, spirit, spiritedness, verve, enthusiasm, zest, vibrancy, spark, sparkle, effervescence, ebullience, exuberance, buoyancy.

At the moment, I like combining all of the above into the words ‘current’ or ‘flow’, kind of similar to how we understand electricity as energy.

We are flow. We are current. Current flows from one polarity to the other. Flow flows ‘from’ and ‘to’. Energy flows by invitation, or by need, we could say.  

What’s current in your life is a current. You are an ever flowing stream called you. You are life force. You are God as God can be.

We’re left in awe and reverence, and opened out to curiosity, with the mind in more unknown than in the known. We don’t really know what we are. We are on a quest with the greatest of questions, seeking to know.

Maybe the best metaphor we have to address this inability-to-know is the familiar one of the fish trying to get a handle on what water is. What we are submerged in, we normalize, we minimize, take for granted and no longer ‘see’ or experience, with any deep reverence.

As we begin to thaw out this frozen awareness of the self perception of being the physical body and begin to start believing, seeing, and feeling subtle energy, we do it from the vantage point of our more familiar sense of physical reality. We naturally make it about having physical experiences of ‘paranormal’ phenomena. Seeing a ghost with your physical sight is naturally thought of as a superior experience to that of ‘sensing’ a ghost; a deeper proof if you will. We have the idea that our supreme five physical senses will become even more supreme with this expanded capacity to see the supernatural. This is a big part of our being limited to grow into our essence as energy.

These persuasions are founded on there actually being a difference between the physical and the energetic, a split between spirit and matter. There isn’t actually a split here, other than the one we imagined, and in turn made seem all too real. It’s time now to uncreate our previously created reality.

Let me ask for a moment, ‘If the physical is energy, that means the five physical senses are also energy, so isn’t smelling a flower also an energetic experience at the same time it is a physical experience?’ So then, it’s all energy – whether seen through the physical eyes or seen through the third eye of intuition. What we’re left with is not so much a question of which is superior, but rather a question if we are ready to live by our expanded perceptions or not. Are we ready to self-validate the world we perceive and see in all of our enlarged capacities?

Let’s stay with our segregated perception of the world between the material and spiritual for a bit longer to help see what we are trying to invite the mind and body into. Where would we experience something, if it didn’t happen in the physical? What would we call that? My sense is to call it whatever you want, but call it something as you are going to need a language and a name to venture any further into this new world we are letting ourselves into.

You could say, you experienced it metaphysically, etherically, or in your mind’s eye, or in your third eye, or in your imagination, all of which are as good a starting place as any.

Keep in mind though, that this delineation about the physical over the metaphysical; or of spirit over matter, isn’t really real, as all of it is energy, just in different forms. It’s all one. There’s no actual difference and there’s no actual hierarchy, except in our conditioning. We’re just delineating it here to try and pry the mind open enough to begin to open up to the energy we are.

Let’s take a field trip in the imagination for a moment to the ice cream shop. Instead of an actual trip to the ice cream shop, let’s imagine one in our minds. Which ice cream shop are you choosing and where is it? What flavors do they have there, and how are they served? Which flavor are you choosing today? Really see this and feel this in your mind’s eye for a moment with as much detail as you can. How does it feel to you to be eating this ice cream? It isn’t long before your body begins to have the physiological reaction of your mouth beginning to water. Your imagination is triggering a deeper experience making it feel more and more real, even tricking the mind, blurring the real from the imagined.

However we file this experience, we have to admit we went somewhere, where even our body and pleasure reactions etc. got activated WITHOUT actually going anywhere physically.

We see that entering a metaphysical experience isn’t nearly as strange as we’ve made it out to be. In fact, all of us do it all the time in so many ways. Where ‘is’ someone, when they are bored in school or in a meeting and we say, ‘they’re here, but not here’? Their body may be present, but their attention (energy) is somewhere else.

Ask any man if they ever had an intense experience looking at pornography. Ask any woman if they ever had an intense experience reading a romance novel. These experiences are powerful energy experiences, so powerful in fact, that they form strong alternative-reality addictions for us as a species, where we want and are vulnerable to something we don’t currently have. And all of it is going somewhere energetically and emotionally in the imagination.

The imagination is a portal in this way. You are energy and you always were. Open up now to the energy that you are.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Ascension Love Energies Invite Healing Of Contention In Our Parts And Metasoul Aspects

Published on by Kasha Rosa3 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

The illuminating LOVE waves cascading over us now and always, are shedding light on the knotted places inside. The places that, when touched, send ripples of what have become knee-jerk triggers flowing through our hearts and bodies. Feelings of defeat or a need or contend, feelings of loss or a need to over-compensate for what has been lost, feelings of needing and wanting to “fight” – for revenge, for retribution, in defense, in anxiety – ultimately, out of fear on some level. Contention and the temptation towards it that parts of us and Metasoul Aspects have is the BIG one, it feels like. It has been the main default for when we feel reactions. It’s either time to go to war, or it’s time to hide. And the middle ground doesn’t often get navigated, for even to claim to be a ‘light” or “love warrior” still throws down the gauntlet and invites a battle of some kind.

Love, because it is SO powerful when it’s in its purest, most real form, has the power to elucidate this reactivity and does draw out the desires in parts and Metasoul Aspects to fight in some way, often against it actually, because genuine love is a challenging energy to let in and presses on all of the unworthiness within us. Sometimes we need to walk this out and obviously as a species, human beings have been attached to this sort of play out in conflictual situations for a long time now. We cannot fault or blame the parts of us or others who have embodied this, as we’ve all co-created it in so many layers and sometimes even in subtle ways, and, these parts have NEEDED these energies. Especially in the harsh reality of 3D where there is competition, abuse and violence on MANY levels, socio-pathic ferocity without consideration of its impact, and misguided use of power, so often rooted in an intense need for more self-worth and love within.

At times, contentious energies seem to pop out of us, sometimes unsolicited, sometimes fully invited. These energies and emotions, like any others that come through us in waves, sometimes need to take the floor. Choosing to make space for this, to own it and feel it and get curious about it too, opens to the door to much, much healing on this ground. To the degree that we have contention still brewing inside of us, quite often from part to part or very much alive in a timeline (or many) of our Metasoul Aspects, we will draw it, even look for it, on the outside.  In this incredibly complicated world that has been so violent and painful at times to face and be part of, reclaiming our power IS to go inward and become the loving parent to parts of us that so need a humble adult heart to lean into. We’ve all felt the distrust that arises and the lostness feelings of needing to claw our way up and out of the wells we’ve found ourselves in. Contention has so often been the only way that parts of us could grab onto to help themselves out of the well, often exacerbating the situation instead of resolving it, especially within where the real contention is and has always been…

With these Ascension love codes helping us feel all of this now, comes an invitation to continue feeling our next places and especially where those more contentious triggers within us are still living. We get to be with these energies as they live inside parts and Metasoul Aspects of us and help them find and feel a NEW way that lives in and from true self-love and an overflow of abundant compassion and love from us to the world and back again. This is the way of drawing the new day of the New Earth into our Now, not as an event to wait for, but a reality that emerges from within and contagiously and courageously flows outward.

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Whew!! Coming Through The Powerful March SOULar Activations Passage

Published on by Jelelle Awen6 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

What an INtense couple of weeks it has been during this March Equinox 2018 passage! The sacred masculine activations through SOULar winds, geomagnetic storms, and waves have been near constant for close to two weeks. They ebbed and flowed and ‘hit’ you depending on how consciously you were meant to feel and track them. You may have become more aware during this time of how cosmic energy is not really ‘out there’, yet how much it can impact your inner cosmos. These energies are meant to catalyze and support our ongoing arising into sacred humanity. We became more attuned to how we ARE energy and everything we experience on the emotional and spiritual and physical levels is a reflection of energetic shifts and changes from both ‘outside’ and INside.

Also, linear time dissolved from our mental tracking that much more. There was often just the moment of Now with more multidimensional awareness of timelines overlapping and merging and collapsing around us. There was so often an inability to track with the mind at all and eventual surrendering to the Higher Self and our higher dimensional aspects/guides that seemed to kNOW what was going on. A trust that the whole process was being held, guided, and supported from our Higher Selves was more palpable as parts of us HAD to lean in more and let go of controlling.

These activations seemed to bring in, MARCH in…. Bliss Mess experiences with ups and downs. The SOULar wind currents could take you from intense joy to acute pain to sweet surrender……all within the same day! They could offer tastes of New Gaia 5D states of self love and compassionate love for ALL sentient BEings with deeper awarenesses that we are ALL meant to come along during the Ascension process. Kundalini awakenings and dripline surges of Divine Feminine and Masculine frequencies created NEW pathways of consciousness for the inner and out experience of TRUE sacred union within the body. Clarities and callings and calls to action connected to your highest timeline manifestation here downloaded through messages, images, visions, dreams, and synchronicities. You may have experienced a deeper embodiment of your Service of Love Self/5D Self and the next choice points that lead to MORE of this BEing state.

There were the physical body reactions of muscle pains and tensions, dizziness and even vertigo, ears ringing and singing, head and neck aches, nausea and appetite shifts, sleeping pattern changes (SO sleepy and foggy sometimes) and WIDE awake too at new times. Activation of our light bodies went to a NEW place, an accelerated invitation to the densest aspect of our physical expression to keep crystallizing through detoxification and clearings on a cellular level. Previous illnesses/injuries/diseases, denser choices in food and deathstyle habits came up and out to clear the way for MORE light to come in. Your Higher Heart activation is connecting you to the cries of the world and a place where killing frequencies can no longer be digested, supported, or ignored.

Where your body stores emotional congestion and karmic wounding vibrated through to express as voices from parts of you that still hold self punishment, self consciousness, self doubt, shame, over protectiveness, and guilt. These parts of you are coming UP now to be seen, heard, and felt by you, to be offered loving self space holding. These parts of you want to transmute their energy from judgement to discernment, from self consciousness and self doubt to self acceptance, from shame to innocence, from protectiveness to guidance, from guilt to forgiveness. These fragments and pieces of your 3D Self (your Protector, your Punisher, your Inner Teenager and Child, your Inner Mother/Father) are ready to come back into wholeness with you again and find a soft place to land in your heart and soul. More about parts here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

The EQUInox energies illuminated polarization from inside of your masculine and feminine aspects. This may have showed up in clashes and sudden relationship issues with others. The standoffs and conflicts with others escalating so that you can complete, resolve, and respond with NEW frequencies of love. The Higher Heart activations make abuses unable to be accepted, both as they occur inside and with others. Even what you define as ‘abuse’ is shifting to a higher criteria for yourself and with others. Repressed sexuality based on this life abuse trauma and Metasoul/other timelines is getting your attention and healing so that you can BLOOM into your gender sexuality with maturity, with self love, and within your embodied humanity.

The necessity of connecting with and becoming conscious of your chakras in a NEW way downloaded during this passage too. Ascension Chakra Vortexes became more clear to me during this Equinox passage as the next place of expansion in our relationship with our chakra bodies to help with INtegration of these cosmic energy activations. We are being activated to have a consciousness of our chakras in a deeper way, in a less linear way, and in a more intimate way. This happens through activation of our 5D violetprint through connection with our Personal Sun Chakra Vortex, our Higher Heart Chakra Vortex, and our Gaia Chakra Vortex. This is the guided meditation that I did to offer this: https://soulfullheartblog.com/2018/03/20/activate-your-personal-sun-higher-heart-and-gaia-ascension-chakras-guided-meditation-video/

Our service of love offerings through SoulFullHeart were ignited during this time….as yours might have been too. I am now offering 1:1 bridging sessions with me over zoom for $55 USD for up to 90 minutes for men and women with more information here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session. We felt guided to offer more activations of Unity Consciousness through sharing our community Merkabah during a group session for members of our PREP and DEEP programs, a livestream where we responded to your questions, and a Unity Meditation call (our biggest group call yet.) We are now feeling to offer a free Unity Meditation call every ten days or so, corresponding to cosmic energy events and happenings. Our next ones are on April 4th and 14th with more information here: soulfulllheartwayoflife.com/events or https://www.facebook.com/pg/soulfullheartwayoflife/events/?ref=page_internal

The social body has been activated to move from over dependence models such as guru-devotee or overly independent such as in being a lone wolf to interdependence within conscious community. This means the continual revealing and healing of the shadow expressions of our previous cult-ural group experiences. I am re-releasing tomorrow a memoir about my Dark Night and Awakening experiences within a high-demand spiritual group and my courtship/falling in love with Raphael that led to us leaving that group. It is called Under The Bloated Banyan and we’ll be giving that book away as a FREE PDF tomorrow March 28th (which is also our ninth wedding anniversary!) with details about that coming soon. You can also purchase that book and all my books as PDFs, ebooks, and print editions here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/books

ALL of these processes activated during the last two weeks offers a VERY palpable acceleration of Ascension that continues with this new year of 2018. These are ongoing processes, of course, with the invitation for all of us to deepen, expand, and embody continuing on into the next days, weeks, months, and years. YOU are the event you’ve been waiting for and these are the happenings both INside and outside that create our NEW world based on LOVE in this NOW.

To read all of my energy updates go here: https://soulfullheartblog.com/category/by-jelelle-awen/energy-updates-with-jelelle-awen/

~

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation…more information here. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

March For Our Lives: A Movement Of New Earth Co-Creators And Leaders

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

Saturday… This past Saturday was the day of the March For Our Lives rally. Drawing hundreds of thousands of young men and women, some barely even teenagers, to march, to walk, to stand-up for something NEW. This movement isn’t just about an end to gun violence and a determination to elect an American government that will create stronger gun laws. It’s about something much, much bigger…

This is the generation that is here to end the cycle of violence and co-create a new world, with those of us who are willing to collaborate with them. These are the seeds of the NEW New Earth. The one that guides us even further out of 3D cycles of bloodshed and hate crimes based in power struggles, based in profound inner-wounding and self-hatred, based in collective unworthiness of love. This generation is bringing the love, just as my generation, made-up of many Indigo and Crystal souls, has tried to, yet often still with too much of a “warrior” mindset and heart cry and too much of an outward focus, not really going within.

The hearts of these ones who decided to rally are not unlike those who rallied in the Occupy movement or the Vietnam protests. It’s all based on a desire for change… deep change. The sort of change that doesn’t just happen overnight and indeed needs to come first “from the mouths of babes”, literally. So here it is… their proposal and desire for BIG shifts in our consciousness. Rainbow and Crystal souls, many of them. Ones that actually came here to do this, be this new wave of Sacred Human from their youth on upward. It is as much a press for anyone willing to listen to actually stop for a moment and FEEL… to feel the world, the needs of ourselves, the needs of our parts within that so ache for love and change. That so desire a world that is different, more welcoming, starting within.

I might not be standing with these powerful souls in person, yet I feel my heart and soul supporting them, welcoming them to their missions here on Gaia, joining my tears with theirs for the violence, starting ALWAYS from within, has gone on for so long and now is moving into completion. I feel their souls lighting up at this opportunity to move into being a part of a world that they feel empowered to co-create and co-lead, too. And it won’t matter really who is “in office” so much as how they are continuing to feel, inhabit and live from their own hearts. ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

 

The March Of Your Life Starts Within

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

Yesterday, the March For Our Lives movement demonstrated an arising timeline in the US. I have not spent a huge amount of time reading but enough to feel a dynamic in my heart. There is a new wind blowing in the outing of a “done-ness” that a generation is having with the old guard. A consciousness of fear that has used fear to perpetuate a right to fear.

I remember it all too well. It is a terribly bleak view of the world that does what it can to use the power of data and interpretation of the law to not FEEL what is happening. Feeling is not accepted as a legitimate data point. The experience of those that have been emotionally and physically terrorized are not quantifiable so therefore inadmissible. I get that this edges on a debate. Yes, I get there are a lot of facts out there. I don’t think I could “win” them. I am only here to feel and bear a heart presence to what is wanting to shift in our consciousness around the violence in our midst.

This violence IS a consciousness of fear and separation. There is a pain that lies at that heart of it all that can only come out in collision. It is rumbling through the poetic words of a generation that is tired of sitting quietly. The heart of this Voice is seeking a Unity. A unification that highlights the polarization of a population. It is a macrocosm of what is happening in the soul of a nation, within each heart of the players in the drama.

It becomes an issue of lives lost vs. lives saved. Rights vs. Rights. Money vs. Voice. A lot of ‘versus’. But this feels like a part of the Awakening. The Arising. The question is does it fold into the ‘Violence Trap’ or the ‘Violet Heart’? Where does this movement hold its center? That center must be held withIN. Love can only come out on top of this one if it has any hope of waking others up, if it is meant to do so.

This is the human heart facing itself. Coming to terms with itself. We are One. We are Individual. How does that reconcile Itself in the depths of our passions, purpose, and experience? I feel we are being INvited into our own narratives. What stories are we holding onto and for what reason? What story wants to be explored beyond what we have allowed parts of ourselves to be stuck with? A revision is being sought on a national and global scale, yet the biggest revision occurs when the movement happens within.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Loss Of Our Original Estate

Published on by Raphael Awen3 Comments

By Raphael Awen

A wave of some really deep tears moved through for me yesterday.

The feelings began with some initial feelings of missing people and places from my past, but didn’t linger long there, as it seems I’ve felt so much of what needed to be felt in those domains. It was like passing through a small town, and before I knew it. I was coming out the other side.

What was on the other side was deeper feelings of a deeper missing. I could feel that I came from a Star family, and that it was connection and exchange with this family that I was missing on a deeper level.

My life here on Gaia was and is a chosen journey intended for certain benefits. The requirement however to be able to be here to complete the journey was and is however a necessary forgetting. Like an anesthetic or a freezing procedure when going to the dentist, we needed to forget our deeper identity in order to inhabit a lesser identity. We call this forgetting the veil.

Through waves of tears, I felt an ache to see and live beyond this veil. The ache felt intense, yet I could feel I was being asked to let in as much of the ache as I could comfortably bear. As I opened my third eye for a moment, I felt an entire surround of ‘alien’ beings, looking at me, curious about what I was feeling, with me likewise, curious about them. This necessary forgetfulness veil I could sense had a lot to do with us coming up with the conviction that we are the only ones out here, as well as our selection and use of the word ‘alien’, denoting others who don’t belong.

The tears filled a couple of hours and I was wanting to find the outbreath of comfort for what I was feeling. I asked for help from the middle of this cloud of ache, and the fear of not ever finding my way back home.

A deeper awareness filled me then. I was made aware that this ache to remember is what is at root of all of our differences and animosities with each other, even all war and conflict, with self and with other. This ache to remember also has to do with all of our so called ‘attachments’. It all comes back to a cellular kind of memory of a feeling of having deeply lost an even deeper family than our Star family, stemming back all the way to the loss of our original estate. (More on this below, it’s a bit hard to be linear in the moment)

We attach to lesser states for fear of recapitulating (triggering) this loss. We feel that to feel this loss would surely be the loss of us, so we busy ourselves with protecting and building a lesser estate, to keep the roof patched from the rain of remembrance from dripping through,…this lesser estate hopefully assuaging the pain of the loss of our original estate, that we aren’t ready to feel.

Then, I was given an awareness that this source of all our conflict also happens to be our deepest common denominator. We conflict in order to avoid further loss and to avoid feeling where we actually came from.

What we are as beings is an alteration of a higher reality. We are real as real can be, but we are an alteration of a parent reality. We long to know and feel that parent reality intimately. This is the truth of every one of us Gaians, with all of our differences. It’s also true of everyone of the multitude of other Star families, with all of their differences. We are all alterations of a parent reality, and therein lies our suffering.

These were the deeper tears, the great collective tears I was invited into the aching room somewhere near the heart of the universe to feel.

When we feel this profound commonality that we share with all being, and the veil of forgetfulness that necessitated our inhabitation of this alteration and seeming departure from our parent reality, we see our oneness with all being.

We even see that the bullies on the playground are actually seeking the very same things we are, just going about it differently.

Then I was given a great sense that we are all, every last one of us, from every last domain, all finding our way back home simultaneously. No one gets ‘left behind’. This came as a great comfort to the parts of me and my Metasoul who still hold the fear of just that: not finding my (and their) fullest return to Source.

Somehow, some way, for specific beneficial reasons, we choose this, and we are all suffering from the same loss, and enduring the same awakening.

After a nights sleep to digest, I feel about as born again as I ever have, being invited into a vulnerable and brave new world.

It’s not that there still isn’t lots to be remembered. It’s that I get to savor each morsel of remembering with less fear of having to rush through the meal.

I never actually lost an ounce of the sacredness of my being, it has only felt that way. There are no ‘aliens’, but only others who at core, share the same core identical fears and desires as I. Wow!

Thank you for reading. Thank you for feeling.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.