awareness – Page 2 – Divine Self Embodiment Blog (Formerly SoulFullHeart)

Physical And Emotional Tensions Are Invited Into Feeling And Healing

Published on November 16, 2017December 10, 2017 by Kasha Rosa3 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

There is so much within you that may be on edge now, consciously or unconsciously. There is tension being called up in the physical and emotional bodies, ready to defend and even offend when necessary in order to preserve something that is being ‘threatened’ by what now wants to move into you through you too. There is much waiting to be expressed, but the conditioning against it must be felt first. Each challenge of BEing, wants to be lived into instead of avoided altogether. Synchronicities are leading you to your next steps and it takes sometimes only an ounce more of awareness before you can fully arrive there.

Your arrival at a place of less conditioning, of unlearning, of new and unknown territory leading to wonder and letting in more so then reacting and defending… this comes from a journey inside. This comes from letting it seep into you. Inspiration in-spiriting, seeding inside of you. The experiences parts of you have had in this life have been trying, difficult, challenging. This doesn’t change and they need to be felt in why they are the way they are. And as the arising sacred human learning to hold and be with them, you are being invited into a room of reflections, which can only happen in relationship.

The Divine offers us much when we are on our own, yet relationships are what truly bring us to our next inward places. To fully inhabit, appreciate and love your own growth this life requires the witnessing from others who are ALSO journeying with resonant values. They may not be who is with you your whole life, yet they are here now and they are exactly who you need, until it is complete… or until this present ground is complete, bringing your relationship and you both to the next level, where there is more ground to travel, more edges to explore. This could be unending or it could end, yet there will always be more who need to be in this territory with you. This is where love lives… in the exchanges of hearts on a journey.

To truly feel the tension of letting this in, is to let the parts of you in that have held case after case against this possibility of being around and with others. These parts have good reasons for this, so it is not about interrogating and trying to ‘release’ them from these roles or this conditioning, but feeling them and simply being in the muck with them… showing them how to build castles with it all, alongside you. Showing up to be with them instead of them showing up to BE you. They have done nothing ‘wrong’… they have only ever done what they felt was the most ‘right’ thing.

My beloveds and I in SoulFullHeart are here and we are eager to help you feel your tensions and parts… to be able to let in more love, to remember the love you are made of in a non-transcendent way that holds ALL of you and loves ALL of you. There are whole universes inside of you to discover through every single doorway of resistance and deep-seated/seeded conditioning that have never truly been YOU. For more information on what we offer, please visit: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess and feel if there may be a synchronicity in taking this in right now, for you. ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

These Truth-Telling Times

Published on November 9, 2017November 9, 2017 by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

throat chakra opening

There’s a grace sometimes

in ungraceful gumption.

A sticking-to

of worth, love, and desires.

There’s a power in mistaking

then heartaching

and finding the remorseful sigh

of a feeling claimed in hindsight.

So much importance

in letting in and letting go,

letting burn

letting fly…

And even in the times of haste

with parts clinging to parts

shutting away, out or in,

the porosity of heart can remain

in the levels of being still intact and shining onward.

No perfect anythings in this ground of you,

only more truthings, discoverings, uncoverings

of where more love can bring in

the tides of times

yet undigested

still bringing the more

along with the less.

The lesson can be learned

in the contrast of it all.

The dance that no one thought they were watching

can continue until it’s next in-breath,

keeping pace, moving inward, outward

UP,

launched, sung, held by all truths

now finding their way

into the illumination of the now-times sun

of all you’ve never

really

left behind. ❤

***

Feeling Your Protective Layers As Downloads Rain Inward – 11/11 Gateway Invitation

Published on November 7, 2017November 9, 2017 by Kasha Rosa3 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

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https://youtu.be/f_z3Y5mPNwU

NEW inspirations are downloading for you now. Sometimes they trickle in like a light rain from bloated rainclouds. It depends on what you’re ready for and what parts of you are opening up to. Your Gatekeeper, who is another layer of your Inner Protector, gages and siphons off these downpours and INpours of INspiration that want to come to you, to move you into new places in your life, to help you see and make those tough choices and take those challenging steps to reclaim, re-energize and reignite the flame of self-empowerment and love.

The energies leading up to the portal of 11/11 this weekend feel like a soft caress and rock music, all at the same time… there is understanding and love from the Divine and the Multi-verse, and there’s a strong invitation to shake off the dust and awaken to where love is flowing in your life and where it may not be. It’s not a violent shake, yet for some parts of you it may feel that way in moments, as the awakenings come in and take hold of your consciousness, or at least try to. Doorways, portals opening, yes, as they have been continuously, and the most powerful one imaginable is the one that begins to open up to a wider aperture inside of you. This is the one that truly invites in more energies, more upgrades, more loving ways to be in this world. It brings in desires to tread gently yet powerfully, acknowledging how this can seem like a paradox to those who haven’t experienced that you can hold both of these frequencies at once without violence or outrage or wounded masculine expressions of toil and strife, or battles and martyrdom.

If you feel ready for the downloads coming in, you can ask for them, but you cannot bypass what needs to be felt before they can integrate in the way they need and want to. For them to truly go in with love takes a lot of conscious and ongoing holding of the parts of you that don’t want them to or aren’t sure it’s okay. Your Gatekeeper, who I mentioned earlier, is the main aspect of you that is used to holding and blocking so many threads of your potential awakening that they haven’t deemed you to be ready for quite yet (and that they haven’t been ready to let in themselves, either).

My own Gatekeeper, who I first came to know as a defensive Inner Protector or Guardian, is offering to me that my readiness is ripening after what has now been several months of working with her, yet several years of working with parts of me that were dominant aspects of my personality. She says, “the soul and heart maturity level need to match with the maturity level of the arising, conscious Sacred Human, who is striving for spiritual consciousness, not in a mentally-based way, and is deeply exploring their heart and wanting to know more, FEEL more, about who they are and why, who/what the Divine is and why, as well as who they could be destined to become in conscious and empowered co-creation with the Divine… It is important to let in the process AND the downloads, to not simply try and open floodgates that are meant to and need to be there… for now. And too, the Gatekeeper needs to feel this relationship with you as your healing Sacred Human self, to trust the Divine through and with you, as so many (myself included at times, in some layers…) still feel very consciously and unfairly separated from the Divine and therefore, from the powerful force and trance of love that wants so much to flood into you and them too.”

It is a major process to feel into, this acceptance of what is being brought in, and there are many understandable defenses that want to keep it out or filter it in a way that is perhaps more digestible for now. There is nothing that can truly be missed out on here though, as each opening within you does create this ever-widening and expanding portal of access to YOU and to the Infinite Love that is the Uni and Multi-verse we exist in and through.

So perhaps the greatest invitation and inspiration being extended to us all with this 11/11 portal, is more of the same of what comes in with all of them… to continue to acknowledge and deepen the work within, to let it be and arise and take a stronger, more self-loving hold on your heart and soul. To invite in a reality that is heart-based, that works with the mind and not against it, and with the soul in a more sober way. There is so much still to feel and on the other side of that, so much more to just keep letting in as we continue our paths of deep inner transformation that continuously transform and upgrade our entire world as we kNOW it and rediscover it, today. ❤

***

Illumination And Disclosure Through Crisis And Chaos

Published on October 19, 2017October 20, 2017 by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

photo-1454817481404-7e84c1b73b4a

https://youtu.be/eLpKehMQBvI

Disclosure is happening on all sides and inside too… the thing with crisis is that we have needed it. We have needed it in order to illuminate what’s been happening inside of us and also in our relationships and the people around us. There is nothing like a death in the family, for example, to bring to light the true colours of parts within each family member – how you respond to each and every event in your life, is a chance to look into a mirror, no matter how extreme or intense the event is. What parts of you would rather pave over, pretend isn’t there STILL, even though it is staring you in your very eyes, is a choice that often leads to more drama, more crisis, more chaos. It’s not about going down the road of self-punishment, either… so many do this, often without realizing this is what’s happening on some level of their being. Often this inner response is so ingrained that it just feels normal.

This response is what spills over into a lack of genuine compassion for others who are walking out the crisis too. This response is what keeps you from feeling others AND yourself in a deeper way.

Whether you feel you are a lightworker or not, there is so much to let in around what real compassion looks and feels like. Anything that is dismissed as ONLY ‘victim mentality’ or ONLY anything else, is a black and white conclusion that does not serve love in the way your most genuine heart intends to. Others are suffering and their parts need to be felt inside of the pain before they can heal the victim within. Spill-over of self-punishment and criticism frequencies is something very powerful to watch and feel for, happening in the wildfire raging within, coming from parts that feel the crisis environment and aren’t sure how to be with it…

There is so much to be discovered within, within, withIN… there has been so much need for drama and crisis as more disclosure takes place and there will likely need to be some more because the light it casts into the darkness is the most powerful gift we could be given during these times. It does feel like eventually we won’t need this chaos anymore, and indeed we will draw it less individually if the chaos is felt and heard and healed within… one felt step at a time.

To have space held in love WITH you, is an essentially part of going inward, feeling personal disclosure, and digesting the experience with a heart-open other. We offer free 30min intro sessions and hold them with the intention of helping you go where you cannot go on your own and without direct support from someone who has been there. Visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more information. ❤

***

The Journey To New Pastures Of Growth And Love

Published on September 28, 2017September 30, 2017 by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

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There is a new ground wanting to ripen for you now. It’s calling your roots out of hiding, inviting you to plant them firmly in new soil. ‘New’ only in the sense of not having been lived in by you before… yet not ‘new’ at all, for there are others who have tilled it for themselves too for so long.

Out beyond everything parts of you have expected of themselves, well passed the flat expanses of ‘normal life’ that have held you in stasis, is a reality you’ve only begun to imagine for yourself… a reality where love flows and flourishes freely, pausing only to flood you and help you feel more of where it can’t quite get in. There are stuck places inside you of immaturity, of push-away towards goodness, of disbelief that love actually IS different than what parts of you have been taught it is directly and indirectly. In a pasture that you haven’t yet known, are your deepest, farthest-reaching places of healing and growth. It’s not a mental concept or construct, it can only be felt and experienced and lovingly challenged into being.

Those souls and hearts who have been in this soil before you, want to empower you beyond what parts of you have ever felt possible so far in your life. They want to empower without enabling, without caretaking what needs to be looked at, felt, deconstructed, loved UP… your soul somehow kNOWs the way, understands that it needs to lead and feels how much it wants to. It’s up to your parts, your personas, your willing heart, to feel what needs and wants to shift, what areas of life you especially need help with and illumination for, where love doesn’t seem to be flowing abundance and why love doesn’t seem to feel very nourishing, based on what you’ve lived of it so far.

It takes a lot… it takes a big soul, like yours, to say ‘yes’ to the desire deep within, that wants something different, wants transformation, wants fulfilment in the sweetest way. It takes a capacity to be with what isn’t desired, to find it within your heart to love it for what it was and what parts of you needed it for, and to move on to what awaits you next in the greener pastures of soul family, ever-expanding heart wisdom, and exponential service of love. ❤

Join SoulFullHeart’s Raphael Awen and Gabriel Heartman this Sunday at 11:11am CST for a Facebook and Youtube LIVE stream: https://www.facebook.com/events/1529926353733589

Feel into the process that I am offering to you in this writing and explore the possibility of having a free 30min intro session by visiting this page: www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Ways Our 3D/4D/5D ‘Selves’ Experience The World

Published on September 2, 2017September 3, 2017 by Kasha Rosa3 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

“I want to focus on how I look to others and try and control what they think of me. I want success and I want peace. The world is mostly black and white to me… ugly or beautiful, full or empty, alive or dead. What I want more than anything else is to be satisfied with life just as it is. And if I’m never quite ‘satisfied’, well, that’s okay. No one else seems to be living the life they really want to anyway! Why ‘take the road less travelled’ when this road is so paved and comfortable?” Says the 3D self that doesn’t think much about dreaming of more for itself, though the longing may be there for a different way to see itself and to experience life in a more expansive way. Yet, it finds contentment sometimes in simple content that doesn’t necessarily satisfy but does keep basic needs met at least. It is a simpler approach to life and one that less and less people are able to inhabit anymore these days.

“I want to fix and focus on the world outside of me… everything is falling apart or needs to fall apart. I can see the possibilities for the future and it all pretty much looks and feels like Hell. The world is anything but simple and it seems to be getting more complicated every day, with the lies that are told and the awful stances that most are taking! Wake up, world!!!” Says the 4D self, awakening more and more into an awareness of the turmoil, angst and outrageous circumstances in this world of ours. Feeling that everything happening on the outside is what needs addressing and that doing and battling is how to ‘win’. It is hard to feel satisfied by life in any way… or that there is much hope left for this world of ours.

“I want to keep going in, to find the parts that still need integrating. An act that changes the world within and can’t help but change the world with-out too! I have so much energy for it all… from where I am, the world does need help, and it IS moving toward something much better, much bigger, all on its own and also in tandem with all of those who are willing to go within. To me, there is not only hope available, but love has already won.” Says the ever-present (somewhere) 5D self that acts as more than a cheerleader for our growth and expansion, but also as a beacon, a reminder that life really can be good, that we really can heal, and that in the end, there is a much brighter way for us all to shine.

Multi-dimensional you, reading this… I’m willing to bet that you resonate with all three of these points of view, that each ‘self’ of your own is standing up, saying, ‘I totally get this!’. Every stage of awakening is sacred, and yes, you do likely move between these 3 ‘selves’ quite often, depending on triggers or what’s happening in your inner and outer worlds. The ways in which you see and feel the world is expanding, contracting, moving… sometimes from simple pleasures to hope, to despair, to grief, and then maybe back to joy and bliss again. There is so much to trust and feel in each moment of this. It is all finding its way… YOU are finding your way!

Some days it can feel like there is something intense going on within… different ‘selves’ trying to edge each other out to take centre stage and to get your attention, let alone the attention of those around you. Much is being shaken up within. Much is wanting air, breathing, movement. You’re on your way, even with each intense wave of feeling, doubting, hoping, loving.

There’s a way that the world outside of you wants to press on you to feel each of these ‘selves’ and the parts of you that they’re made of. The 5D self is more like a ‘no-self’ in a way, actually, with no parts, yet it is eager to create a greater, more loving container for the other parts of you. Sometimes it can feel like such a stretch to reach for these energies of expansive holding and high-vibe breathing that somehow gets to this place of loving and Divine frequencies without transcending or losing touch with the parts that need to be felt. To be able to live more in 5D is the dream for the near future and the invitation in the NOW too!

There is so much going on within you… and it is all somehow feeling its way, learning its way., finding its way to a greater centre inside of you that feels, trusts, knows that love has already won and so have YOU… ❤

https://youtu.be/HQIHoVzEbEM

***

In The Humble Service Of Love, We Serve Ourselves Too

Published on August 11, 2017September 30, 2017 by Kasha Rosa3 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

Blonde Girl Flying with Butterflies

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pnx07GCboLo

As I hold space for others, so I hold space for myself.

As the journey unfolds with a facilitant and within my relationship with this facilitant, I feel more ‘me’ that arises and surprises too. I feel teachings escape my lips, coming from a place higher than where it has felt that maybe my head and heart have been in recent hours, minutes or days. I feel offerings full of love that move within me, sometimes bringing me to tears as I feel my beloved facilitant’s tears too. Together we feel the magic of the moment, of the movement stirred within her, that is somehow stirring within me too. I feel her, I feel me, I feel how we are connected to each other, yet also to something bigger, something ‘ahead’ yet not ‘above’ us, that dances in collaboration with our hearts and souls in this sacred space we call ‘SoulFullHeart sessions’.

We pilgrim to this place, this Mecca within and held too in community group spaces together, dining or checking in or both. We journey here through the heart, with the mind, engaging all facets, all aspects, all parts of our being. We bring all we are to the table, we work to build this altar of inner ‘god/goddess’ worship through many tears, many words written down, many feelings deeply felt. All awakenings along the way are markers, big or small, of where we have gone and where we are continuing to go. All birth canals are just that… deep breathing that allows for contractions within our being, bringing about new meanings, new places to see and feel the world from, new ways to see and feel ourselves and the magic of our inner worlds. The shadows have magic in them too. They help to show the light, they illuminate where the love still needs and wants to go, they bring in more of what we need to feel MORE loved, MORE ‘up’.

I am always humbled by what comes when I hold session space with another who is engaged in this work. I am humbled by their journey that is unfolding, unearthing before me, within them, in my presence, in the presence of the Divine, of curious Star Beings, of Archangels, of Metasoul Aspects, of as-yet undiscovered parts who are waiting in the wings for their moment to hold center stage in this healing place of inner worship and love. Wow. Nothing beats this… nothing compares to all that is learned through this. Here there is no kNOwing, only feeling. Sometimes pure feeling, without words. Pure spaces of really letting in love, sometimes for the first time, or what can truly feel like the first time.

I keep learning as my facilitants learn, about themselves, about the world, about spirituality, about what it means to be human, but most of all, what it means to be THEM. They keep leaning as I do, into me, into my experience that has placed me ‘ahead’ of them for this phase at least, into the Divine, into an arising heart that is growing and healing and expanding inside of them and inside of me too.

I am blessed to be in this place, holding this space with others walking and feeling this out. I am blessed to share it as a process for me too, just as it is a process for them. The crucible of leading, of teaching, of serving love, is a deep calling that flows inward and outward, both, like the most sacred river you will ever feel, ever find, ever kneel before and drink from with the most reverence you have ever felt in your life. I have the honour of serving love, of feeling more of the love that I am, and getting a front row seat to witness that unfold inside of another.

For me, this is what it means to serve love in this phase of my life. To wear my humble robes of experience, to wade through the self-doubts that surface from parts and Metasoul aspects of me that actually need this crucible in order to heal. Incredible. Divine. Sacred. I am in love… and more and more, I feel like I AM love.

Another corridor awaits and at each turn there is more.

And here we go, into it ALL, with it all, loving it all, and then some. ❤

***

You Can’t Steer A Parked Car

Published on August 4, 2017 by Raphael Awen2 Comments

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By Raphael Awen

The reason your next steps may not feel so clear is that a part of you has been resisting the natural movement, the flow, the direction.

An all too common way parts of us do this is to focus on the ‘impossibility’ of the big step as a way to not take any small steps. Big steps are just a series of small steps.

You can’t steer a parked car and a parked car cannot take you anywhere.

The small steps are crucial to confirming guidance, building trust and being en-couraged to take the next steps. Big movements are always a process, rather than an epic end-of-life-as-you-know-it, mammoth, swallow-you-whole kind of choice that a part of you may be amping it up to be.

If life is in fact facing you with a life or death kind of choice, I venture to say that that is what a part of you has created by resisting the many small choice points along the way. Life never gives you what you cannot bear, but the opposite can sure seem true when we haven’t been paying attention. Parts of us then can play victim to life and change in a seemingly all-too-real reality, hiding the fact we created that reality.

A decision to leave a partner or a marriage shouldn’t be what stops you from beginning to bring your truth, both to yourself and to your mate. Start there and see where that leads. What changes can you embrace in your career while feeling and not denying the desire to leave that career?

Life at its core is about change. Trying to be in life with a resistive relationship with change is like trying to stop the wind. You can resist change, but you only end up resisting yourself and where change wants to take you.

When you don’t change, you become more and more uninteresting to yourself, others and even to life itself too. You are contributing less to the community you are a part of and so naturally you feel less safe and less trusting that life will reciprocate and meet your needs. Your anxiety becomes palpable and obnoxious as you demand that others look after the fallout of your resistance to life, and the dis-ease that you are manifesting around you and in you.

If you are allowing me to speak this straight to you today, I can feel that it is because you really do want to take responsibility to change your relationship to change, and return to actually being in life.

You bring huge air into the room when you do that. You water the souls of everyone around you, which includes all of us, because we are all connected and we are all one as well as individuals at the same time.

Talk about a high spiritual calling, like no other, just living your life, to the fullest!

I felt a need to speak this straight today as I am gathering my own courage again for my next steps, and I so want to be around, up close and personal with this kind of very exciting life giving energy.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Can You Come Out To Play?

Published on August 2, 2017August 1, 2017 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

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By Raphael Awen

What would it take for you to come out and play again?

I know deep down, you really want to. But something has you to itself right now.

Is it a sadness that the joys you once had so much fun with are gone now?… And you don’t know how you could ever have that much fun again?

Or is it that you can’t see who would want to be with you and have your kind of fun?

I’m not trying to figure you out. You’re way too big of a being to be figured out. I just want you to come out to play again when you are ready to.

I do feel something for you, if you’d let me share it with you?

I can feel that life as you once knew it changed somehow, and you knew some really cool joys in that old life, but that life dried up and went away. You found something really, really cool, and now it’s gone. Now, you’re sad, and that’s okay.

I think I know something else too that I’d like to share with you if you’d let me. And that is that when people lose things like you lost, they don’t actually let themselves feel what they lost and how sad they actually are. They keep their tears inside. I did that for a long time. It’s like we don’t arrange and attend the funeral. I think I know something too about why we tend to do that, that it is about how we are afraid the tears will swallow us somehow, and we will be no more.

If that’s true, then it means people do actually want to come out and play again, I mean, if they are afraid of being no more, right? Because being no more, would mean never to ever play again.

What if life is trying to bring you your next kind of play that really is your kind of funnest fun, but you aren’t sure you are ready to risk losing again?,…because you haven’t seen how losing isn’t as sad as it seems, if you let yourself be sad, then the sadness moves, and you get to come out and play again…

You didn’t have to find the play that you once loved so much. It found you, and fun is trying to find you again.

I think that’s just the way it is. People are afraid to be sad because they aren’t sure they are ready just yet for their next fun, their next play.

It’s okay if you don’t think so. That’s just the way I do. I can be sad with you, if you’d like me to…., to feel what you lost and then maybe we can share tears together, which is one kind of play I like to have whenever I need to.

I’ve lost lots of things, but I always find that new things are wanting and ready to come in.

(From the beloved younger part of me called Marvin)

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. You can make a one time donation to SoulFullHeart at https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

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