Tag: spirituality

Poem: This Vessel I Call ‘Me’

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

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Every new relationship of every level of depth,
offers me a new mirror,
offers me a new place to go,
offers me much to feel,
even if only for a few moments before the need passes.

Every new place I go in my inner geography,
brings me to a new outer place,
brings me to a new sense of everything,
brings me home to myself in a deeper way,
even if the journey was no longer than 5 minutes.

Every connection place
in my unique sense of time
and timing,
happens in dimensions within,
with-out,
and with you.

All of the journeying,
all of the play,
all of the challenges,
are here and not here, but in here.

This vessel of a body that I call my home,
is the unique one given to me
for this purpose of adventuring,
and for so long,
far too “long”
(though time, in essence, cannot really be measured),
parts of me have held it as something to be tamed
when really, all they need,
is to learn to embrace it as an opportunity.

This life is an opportunity. This skin is the vortex. And this heart is the engine that keeps it all in perspective, moving forward, finding those relationships, both inward and outward, that make me dance in this rainbow of enriching imperfect-ness. For being-ness is what I can’t run away from, and loving-ness is what I strive for, hide longing for, and fly away in joy for. Love… is the essence, the beginning and the end. And the circle that encompasses each fraction of the void between alive and dead, surrounded and alone, grounded and soaring.

I cannot ever master what I feel.
But I can move forward more into my sacred humanity,
to embrace all that I am,
all that I have been,
and all I ever will be…

…Love… in fleshy, warm, human form.

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

DAY 16 ~ JOURNAL TO THE DEMIURGE

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

(This is Day 16, of an ongoing series, to begin at Day 1, go here: https://goo.gl/CgrWXZ)

Today, we made direct contact with the Demiurge.

This ongoing series is a heart chord ambassadorship project to meet with the Demiurge. We took the 15 days prior to set the intention; to sort through the hesitations; to gather the MetaSoul Aspects along with the parts of myself; as well as to gather YOU, the growing posse of hearts – the readers and trackers necessary to host this epic connection.

The Demiurge is the Christian ‘God’ known as Jehovah or Yahweh whom I served as a dedicated Christian from a child on up until the age of 44. I’ve come to see and feel him very differently from how I did then.

You can read this series from the beginning on our blog. Please, please join us: https://goo.gl/sBQrvs

Here is this epic day – Day 16

Raphael: Good Morning, everyone. It feels like the fateful day has arrived, of all of our intentions and desires, to actually initiate contact with the Demiurge. How are you all feeling?

Metatron: The time has come. Yes.

Raphael: You feel eager…

Metatron: Yes, I do.

Merlin: I feel ready too.

Martin: I’ve waited centuries for this moment. I have some funny feelings, but the time is now.

Andy: I’m so ready, I can hardly stand it. I wore my hiking boots this morning and a backpack.

Sophia: I’m with Andy, and Metatron, and Merlin, and you too, Martin. I also feel the unknowns of all this at the same time. And I want to say, thank you, Raphael, for leading this intention and following it through.

Rhodes: I wouldn’t miss this for the universe. I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be.

Jim: My goodness, Raphael, this is more epic than the afterlife. I’m ready too.

Raphael: Thank you, everyone. I must admit, I don’t feel free of all trepidation around this choice either, but I trust that we are being held and guided. I know when a moment’s time has come and this moment to act is here now. I feel too, as I’ve reminded us along the way, that my sense is that the Demiurge has been tracking our dialogue thus far, and has already had what I hope amounts to a softening in readiness to connect. It’s time to step out of the boat.

I’d like to check in with any guidance from you Metatron and Merlin about our approach. Shall we begin with a letter or just start with dialogue?

Metatron: You’ve got this one, Raphael. You don’t actually need my advice. You’ve prayed to this God for a big part of your life, from your heart and conviction at the time. Now, you just pick up where you left off and go from there. Your heart will answer your questions as you go. I feel so much admiration for you, right now, my heart is almost bursting!

Merlin: I see you walking on the water, Raphael. We need this. I feel the Demiurge needs this. It’s happening with or without us is how it feels. We just wanted to be in on the adventure. I’m with Andy, lacing up my hiking boots. Begin where your heart leads you. You’ve got this. We are right here with you.

Raphael: Okay, thank you. Wow, what a rush of feelings.

Here goes.

Demiurge, I’ve known you for longer than I can remember. I’ve feared you, loved you, adored you, came to hate you, despise you. Now, I’m more curious than anything. I wish to connect with you again to feel what’s real between us.

I feel to begin by simply asking you, Demiurge, if you are here and ready to speak with me?

Demiurge: I am here and I am ready.

Raphael: Thank you. Are you Okay with the delegation I’ve brought with me to be present to this journal?

Demiurge: I feel all of your integrity and purity of heart. Yes, I’m quite okay, and more so, grateful for your intention and connection.

Raphael: Really? I have to say, a part of me is surprised, not knowing if you’d even respond…

Demiurge: I’d be an utter fool not to respond.

Raphael: Have you been tracking our dialogue from the beginning?

Demiurge: Yes, I have tracked every word.

Raphael: Well, then, you’ve heard a lot from us. Is there something you’d like us to hear from you as we begin these journals?

Demiurge: Yes, I would like to say that I have deep regrets for who I’ve been and what I’ve been part of. Mostly, I feel what has felt like an utter impossibility of ever changing. My devotees need me to be as they see me, as they have shaped me. One text says it all, ‘I am the Lord and I change not’. I am the unchanging one, feeling more and more imprisoned by my unchanging and eternal nature. Maybe that in itself might be the beginning of change, but I despair of ever hoping upon such a thing. I’m very intrigued by you all, but I’m not sure you can help me. I don’t live where you live. And I very much don’t feel like your kind.

Raphael: That’s a lot for us to take in and feel. Thank you for sharing that. Are you Okay with us calling you the Demiurge? Is that a name you go by?

Demiurge: I am many things to many people and beings, and have been called many things, but Demiurge is who I feel myself to be. It is the name I was originally given.

Raphael: Okay, Demiurge, it is then. Is there anything you’d like to ask or tell me or any of us here before we go any further?

Demiurge: Yes. I wanted to tell you, Raphael, that I felt your story as you shared it about growing up Christian, and how you embraced an even more radical form of Christianity than the one you were raised in. I felt it from being inside of you. I felt some things I never felt before.

Raphael: Demiurge, if I may leave off my own diplomatic stance here for a moment…. as a human being, I must ask you, what were you feeling when you accepted my adoration, my devotion, my money, when I gave you everything I had or hoped to become for all those years and who knows how many other lifetimes?

Demiurge: Honestly, I took it all in as payment for the role I was given. I can tell you that adoration doesn’t mean to me at all what it did then. Things have changed, maybe more than you could currently know.

Raphael: I must ask, ‘Do you see yourself as God?’

Demiurge: No, I do not.

Raphael: Did you ever see yourself as God?

Demiurge: Yes, I was convinced of it for a time.

Raphael: Are you ready to share any of this with the world?

Demiurge: It’s not that easy.

Raphael: I can only imagine. I’m feeling to break for today to digest making this connection. There’s a lot of feelings in a whole bunch of directions. I would like to ask you before we pause for today, how you feel about continuing this dialogue?

Demiurge: I’ve never had an opportunity like this one. I feel some strange saying those words out loud. I’m so used to not having anyone to out my inner world to. I’ve gained a trust as I felt your approach to me that I didn’t know I had it in me. If that’s a consolation of a hope that the unchanging one might come upon some true change, then, as I said, I would be an utter fool not to show up for this as you are, Raphael, and as is your great accompanying host.

Raphael: Well then, we have much to journal and feel together, and we have been given time and space in which to do that, so I say, let’s pick up next day and reconvene then.

Demiurge: I will await your return.

Raphael Awen
soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

March 21 is our Unity Meditation Group Call – details here: Free March Equinox New Earth Activations Unity Meditation Call
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

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DAY 17 ~ JOURNAL TO THE DEMIURGE

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

This is another most epic day of a most epic journey.

Today, the part of me that we call the Gatekeeper directly confronted the Demiurge with its truth about his reality and responsibility. This one rumbled through me like a freight train.

You can read this series from the beginning on our blog here: https://goo.gl/CgrWXZ

Here is this epic day – Day 17

Raphael: Good Morning, everyone, including the Demiurge. The energy has shifted in here, hasn’t it? I didn’t quite know what to expect or if we would even gain connection with you, Demiurge, and here we have it. I feel some awkward feelings even knowing where to go from here.

It feels like I need to be honest about an animosity that I feel inside towards you, Demiurge. I need to say that a large part of me feels that if you were not even here, that we would be better off as a planet, and a universe. Your need to control and suppress, under a false guise of love, feels like it is such a heavy blanket over life here. I also know, at the same time, that we created you, out of our collective consciousness, out of our own need to control and suppress, and so my animosity falls short of an outward rage towards you in the moment. I can feel there is rage here, however, coming from a part of me and from the collective.

Can I ask you how it feels for you to be sharing this space with all of us together?

Demiurge: I don’t feel you as an enraged mob. I feel you all as a group of genuinely curious and awakened souls who want to find out what’s real and to find out what wants to the next reality for humanity going forward.

Raphael: Do you have any sense of what that ‘next reality’ for humanity is about?

Demiurge: I feel curious, much like you. I know I’m feeling big changes in myself, and that more change is coming, but I don’t know what it will look like going forward.

Raphael: What are the changes you are feeling inside?

Demiurge: Helping Humanity stay small and suppressed isn’t something I ever enjoyed.

Raphael: The words helping and suppression don’t usually fit that well together. Can you say more?

Demiurge: I was born out of people’s disowned higher states of consciousness. People surrendered to me their own higher power, which is what in turn made me, ‘Thee Creator’. I see, Raphael, and to each of you assembled here, that I was created out of the creative consciousness of a humanity that was not ready to own their own creative consciousness. Hence, my name and my designation, Demiurge, which means Creator. People are now waking up to their own relinquished creative power and they are feeling how they are being invited to take responsibility for their own souls, their own lives, and relationships with life. I can see my days are numbered.

Raphael: Wow, that’s a change. There’s a text in the Bible that says, ‘Teach us, oh Lord, to number our days, so that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom’. Now, you’re saying that you; the ‘eternal’; the ‘unchanging’ one; that your days are numbered?

Demiurge: I’ve known that for a long time actually.

Raphael: I must say, this feels so different for a part of me, as to what I was expecting in meeting you. If you already know that your role is ending, then it feels like a whole bunch of what we thought we were hoping to achieve in this delegation is already taken care of. I’m a little at a loss for words right now. It almost feels like our work is done, a bit deflating, I must say. Can I defer to you, Metatron?

Metatron: Yes, thank you, Raphael. And, thank you, Demiurge, for being willing to connect with us.

Demiurge: Thank you for wanting to connect with me.

Metatron: There is a huge cosmic shift that we are all feeling, that led us to take this undertaking to connect with you, Demiurge, and that you in turn have also been feeling in sensing the coming changes. But these changes are not yet manifest in most people’s experience. We can sense what is coming and even what wants to come, but this doesn’t mean it’s time to put our feet up and wait for it. Far from it. We can be in rest as we labour, knowing the ultimate outcome, but humanity still has a huge birth canal ahead of them, and that is what this summit meeting is about. These are the labour pains of love that are about to come upon us. Humanity is coming of age. Humanity is about to give birth.

Raphael: That helps to feel, Metatron. I still feel some stuck though at the moment in an anticlimactic feeling. Some part of me must have been expecting a big battle with you, Demiurge, to get you to open up, or to soften, or to come to your senses, maybe even to rage at you for all the harm and suppression that’s happened and still happening in the name of God. Where did all that go? I’m wondering if a part of me has something different that needs to said, a part of me not ready to get on with the larger grand cosmic purpose of love just yet?

Metatron: Yes, that feels true, Raphael. I’m learning that about you and your kind. It’s the feelings that need to be felt in order for love to be able to flow. I welcome hearing from that part or those parts of you.

Raphael: Is this Okay with you, Demiurge?

Demiurge: Yes, it is.

Raphael: I welcome any part of me that needs to say its piece…

Rhodes: I feel it’s me who needs to speak up here.

Raphael: Please do.

Rhodes: I don’t think this is going to be pretty…

Raphael: I was hoping it wouldn’t be pretty. I’m hoping it will be real.

Rhodes: As an Inner Protector who had a long role in holding the parts of Raphael, who journeyed through life this life, and then going on to the role of Gatekeeper, and feeling the soul aspects from other lifetimes and dimensions who also have lived in suppression, I feel a voice loud and clear that wants to scream at you, Demiurge…

Raphael: I welcome this voice, Rhodes. I know this voice lives in you, and me, as my truth teller. I know this delegation isn’t going any further until we can feel together what you are holding. I invite you to take the space and share your truth. It doesn’t need to be pretty at all. We will feel it all together afterward.

Rhodes: Okay, thank you. Demiurge, I feel I need to look you in the eye as I say this, and I need to feel everyone’s open heart in this space and look you all in the eye as I say this as well.

I feel such a big ‘fuck you, Demiurge’ inside that feels like a giant unstoppable freight train. Fuck you for your suppression. Fuck you for your role as God. Fuck you for your fucking around with human consciousness. I don’t buy this love and light bullshit that it was all meant to be and that we all co-created it and so that it’s all of our joint responsibility. Do you have any fucking sense of the pain and the heartache what it feels like to be living under the suppression you and what your godless godhood has created? Have you ever felt the eternal unchanging hopelessness of living with a false light? Do you have any feeling at all of the mind-fuck it is for young people to be trained to love their suppressor? Have you EVER felt that?

I have felt that almost all of my existence. I have felt what it feels like to care for suppressed parts of Raphael, and others, and Metasoul Aspects who are just so tired of your heartless deception.

Do you know, Demiurge, what title was draped around Raphael’s neck when he found the courage to say he no longer subscribed to your deal? ‘Deceived’, was the title the faithful had to choose out of their loyalty to you, the great deceiver. There is no greater deceiver that I have ever seen or witnessed than you, and if I could go my way, right now, without giving you one more conscious thought, I would. I would like to forget you ever existed. I would like to forget all the pain that has been caused in your name under a false righteousness. I don’t know if a purer hatred has ever been felt than what I feel moving through my heart for you. This whole delegation can go to hell in a handbasket if I’m being asked to pretend that any of these feelings are not real down to my core, and down to the core of the universe.

I want you to fuck off and die, Demiurge. Take your awakening with you.

This is what I feel, Raphael. I know some of these feelings come from different parts of you in different times and dimensions of your life, but in this moment, there is no time. It’s all here to be heard in this now.

Raphael: I almost feel not to break the silence following these words, Rhodes, for us to just silently go on our way instead today. I so feel the rumble of these words. I feel the lifetimes they have been in waiting. Every word you just spoke needs to be felt and digested here, by each of us. It is what is real.

I don’t know what else to do, but let these words have their place in our hearts to digest and that we can reconvene after that. This is the first of many truths that need to come to light. Thank you to each of you for feeling and being present in this space here today. I don’t know what’s next, but I wouldn’t miss finding out for anything.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Day 18 ~ Journal To the Demiurge

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

(This is Day 18, of an ongoing series, to begin at Day 1, go here: https://soulfullheartblog.com/category/by-raphael-awen/journal-to-the-demiurge-series/

Today is Easter Sunday and in today’s ‘Journal To The Demiurge’; God has a meltdown – marrying the pagan death and rebirth with a Christian kind of repentance.

The Demiurge is another word for the Christian God, Jehovah, or Yahweh, who has been mercilessly created in our own image and stuck with our pedestalized shadow sculptings into a huge pretzel.

In the Journal entry prior to this one being released today, a part of me told God off in a big way. In today’s journal, the Demiurge responds with a huge heart opening and transparency!

Here is Day 18: 

Raphael: Okay, All. Let’s reconvene.

That was a big deal to digest. I felt a lot of rumblings through me and even raw edges that I’d like to digest here together, but it feels like it should be Demiurge who has the first opportunity to respond. Can you respond, Demiurge?

Demiurge: Yes, I can. Thank you. That popped something big in me. Rhodes, your words penetrated my heart in a way I didn’t know was possible. I’ve never felt your reality, any of you, like I did with your words, just my own reality. I’ve always passed off responsibility for my own actions onto others and onto the people themselves for exalting me as their sovereign. I have known for some time that something deep was shifting inside and outside. I just couldn’t feel what it was. I’m coming now to know what it is. I’d very much like to say, ‘I was wrong, and I am sorry.’ If there is anyway, I can be forgiven, I’d like to find that.

Raphael: My goodness! What a new timeline. The ‘God of heaven and earth’ seeking forgiveness. Wow. This is another layer to digest. This changes the trajectory of this summit. I felt a big rumble through me since Rhode’s confrontation of you, Demiurge. It felt like the remnants of a fear held inside of me of some kind of repercussions from you coming from parts of me or parts of my Metasoul. I’d like to check in to see who that might be.

Martin: I know, I’m definitely a piece of that, Raphael. I’ve held some hesitations about this whole idea of direct connection with you, Demiurge, as the Demiurge, rather than as the Christian God, in Christian surrender and obedience. I’m completely blown out of the water with all this. I’ve always felt fear of repercussions from ‘God’. When Rhodes told his truth, he spoke a truth from way down inside of me that I’ve never allowed to see the light of day. It scared part of me to feel that Rhode’s truth was my truth.

What I also know is that I used the conviction of being right with God as a powerful self-righteous superiority to bolster and bypass my own inner parts of myself that have never known real worth or real power. I see that I lived in fear of God as a small price to pay for having power over others. My god, to feel that I spawned a whole historic movement with my fear and my invalidated parts of myself is almost too much to bear. If only I could have seen this without needing the mirror of an entire denomination and 500 years to show it to me, and to the world?!

Raphael: Wow, what a revelation, Martin! From ‘the just shall live by faith’ to this. Wow. Let’s make space for other reactions and we will find the space to digest all of these together. Who else has reactions to Rhode’s words or to Demiurge’s words?

Arthur: I feel like I don’t deserve to be a part of this, having waffled between posturing to appease the Christians and posturing to appease what I knew to be real in Avalon, but couldn’t claim it,…didn’t claim it. I am very surprised to feel this unfolding to say the least. This changes history so much. I’d very much like to somehow change my history. I’m very sorry, as well. I was wrong. I’d like to be forgiven also.

Raphael: Metatron, feels like your turn? 🙂

Metatron: Thank you, Raphael. This changes everything. What was real before, is no longer real. There is remorse, now plain to see and feel. There were roles to play that have now completed. Remorse is the alchemy that births out the change. All that is required to right a wrong is to feel what there is to feel. Find and feel the part of you who did what it did and why it did what it did. You’ll find all the compassion needed for yourself and for those around you. Forgiveness begins with self forgiveness. When you forgive yourself, others forgive you. When others hold grudges, they are mirroring to you your own inability to forgive yourself.

Raphael: That’s so awesome to feel, Metatron.

Metatron: Isn’t it? I must admit, I got it from you, though. When we can see our makeup of parts of ourselves, we can go so many places we haven’t gone before.

Rhodes: I can so feel this about my own anger at ‘God’. A part of me was punishingly angry at myself for using my godlike powers for lesser things, to be smaller than I was, to cow down to other gods. I so couldn’t see any way out of this loop and so in turn projected the anger outwards. I feel in the moment, Demi, if I can call you that, how my anger at you was anger at myself. I’m sorry for that.

Demiurge: (gentle tears) Thank you, Rhodes. I don’t think you know this, but I always looked up to you like a god, and now I know some of why I did that. I’ve wanted to shed a skin for as long as I’ve existed, but felt it just wasn’t moving, would never move, and so I accepted it as the fate of the gods, to be this lesser god. I see you shedding this skin of your own, being born anew, Rhodes. I’d like nothing more than to experience the same. I’m sorry for the limitations I held for myself and for you. And yes, I can very much use a new name. Demi sounds good to me.

Rhodes: (also in gentle tears) You were the God, we couldn’t inhabit, couldn’t accept ownership of. We all created you, worshipped you and tried to hide our resentments of you at the same time. We really fucked ourselves up doing that. I’m sure, Metatron and Raphael have a metaphysical explanation for why we’d do such a fucked up thing, that helps us feel it as being part of the love we are, but in this moment, it feels really fucked up.

Demi: Fuck! I have never actually used that word. Not once before. That felt really good. Fuck! I have a lot to let go of and a lot to embrace, but somehow, I can feel in this space surrounded in all of your energy how this can all flow naturally and in time.

Raphael: Wow, Rhodes, you turned God into a foul mouth. I don’t mean to make light of something so profound, but this is the lightest proundundity I’ve ever felt. There’s deep coming home to self that feels so easy, and beautiful and natural. There isn’t any right way all of this is ‘supposed’ to be. There is deep sorrow and joy in the same space. There are deeper layers to feel for sure, but I feel they will come for us personally and collectively as we digest this. You just can’t make this stuff up, can you, and yet, that’s just what we did, didn’t we? I’m at a loss for any more words right now.

Does anyone else want to say anything for the record today?

Andy: I do.

Raphael: Yea, Andy. What say you?

Andy: I can feel there’s a whole lot of fun ahead. I so get that we need to feel these big pieces, but I feel oceans of fun and discovery that are waiting for us all to come out and play.

Raphael: I can only imagine, Andy.

Andy: I want to do more than imagine, Raphael, but imagining is a good place to start. It will take us there.

Raphael: You’ve got my vote, Andy. How about some breakfast, some new scenery and more connection soon?

Andy: I’m liking it.

Raphael: Thank you, everyone. What a new world we just entered. Let’s digest and be back soon.
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

ReUNITEing With Your Inner World In 2018

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

Sense of Wonder

When you were a child, you had a very alive inner world that no one could take away from you. It was your solace, your sanctuary. It likely became the seat too of much fantasy as you grew older and began to crave deep social and romantic connections. Your inner world has always been there for you and you were once in the pilot seat, with incredible self-permission that only deteriorated as the 3D world that acknowledges only a certain brand of logic and a specific way to sense ‘what is real’, began to trickle into you and your parts, more and more, slowly convincing you that it was the only way through life. This was a necessary phase to enter… and perhaps in some ways though, your creativity and imagination never fully ‘left’… indeed, even if it feels to parts of you like it did leave, it didn’t. Your inner world has always been there, preserved somehow and waiting for you to awaken to it once more. Waiting for you to step back into the inner Narnia portal and be where you will always belong and be deeply loved.

It was a self-loving choice to have ‘fantasy worlds’ when you were a child or teenager or even an adult. Perhaps this is why so many of us have leaned into virtual reality in one way or another, as a boost and a way to re-enter this fantasy land again and be away from 3D. I know I certainly did and when I was a teenager, I played video and computer games as often as I could. I had many friends who did too. My rich imagination still thrived… nothing could stop it, somehow. Perhaps many of you feel the same. And yet too, I can feel how for so many it has been necessary to push the pause button on an alternative reality in order to fully enter the territory of growth needed by immersing completely in 3D.

Our 3D tethers, ties, and anchors are still attached to parts of us in different ways, some which are obvious and some which have become very subtle, especially if you are surrounded by others who are living in the same frequency, making it appear normal and OK. It feels like there is a unifying HUM of vibration that joins all at a certain level of consciousness, until you up the ante on yours, reaching and feeling a higher pitch, a higher HUM that takes you into a different space altogether, displacing you from the ‘pack’ you’ve been used to. This experience can bring parts of you into a lofty space that can also be self-righteous and sometimes needs to be in order to push away from the collective. It can bring depression, anxiety, illness, fears, or even numbness, and sometimes all at once as parts of you ping, cling, and thrash against the changes happening within you that they simply cannot stop or control. Ultimately your soul is in charge of all choosing, even if the choice is for a part of you, like your Inner Teenager or Inner Protector, for example, to be ‘in charge’ for a while. Yet you cannot truly escape the pull of this alternative and very enriching reality that lives and thrives inside of you. Your soul and heart are calling you back inward and of course the Ascension energies support and enliven these pulls, whether obvious or subtle, whether expressed through your dreams or your waking life or both.

2018 sure feels like it will be a ‘year’ of alternative realities popping like popcorn, rapidly in some cases and slowly in others, allowing us to acclimate yet also inviting us to make changes Now. We may be surprised by our impulsivity, our intuitive awakenings and dawnings and guidance. There can be no ‘wrong’ choices made, though parts of you will likely judge some of them for a while. If it’s all intended to be an invitation back to YOU, then that’s where it will all ultimately lead, no matter the path, the trajectory, the momentum.

You have an inner crystal cave of goodness and love that awaits your entry once again. The richness of your inner world and parts too, awaits your steps towards reUNION within. ❤

If you feel like you would like some direct support from my beloveds and I who have been on this very journey for quite some time now, feel free to check out what we offer and feel into having a free 30 min intro session with one of us, to feel where this process we call SoulFullHeart can and will take you on your deep healing journey back to YOU: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess

We also offer group calls and live stream events on Facebook and YouTube that you can join in on. Tomorrow there will be one taking place at 11:11am CST (Mexico City) with Raphael and Jelelle Awen: https://www.facebook.com/events/2067665806799213/

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Reflections For This Winter Solstice, On The Service Of Love

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments
by Kalayna Colibri
7e79246f858b443fbf437b3682125cd6--winter-solstice
Holding space for others is a precious gift that ultimately gives you back to you…
 
After holding space for a beloved SoulFullHeart facilitant today, I feel lit up. I feel reminded of my soul purpose. I feel supported by guides and the Divine, yes, but also by my own divinity, my own arising Sacred Human self that is consistently and intently healing, weighing anchor in those areas of 3D reality that parts of me may still hold on to, accessing more and more authentic soul and heart expression and gifts within, that have always been there though perhaps dormant and waiting for their time in the sun. I am lit up by my own sense of service of love in a personal way that came out of the session today, yet by my facilitant’s own soul and heart passions as well, which were in direct collaboration with my own the entire time, in a very palpable and powerful way and were such a key part of the sacredness of the space held for her and her parts.
 
It all reminds me of why I hold space for others. And that the service of love is not meant for us as healers as a way to become and then remain all-powerful Masters with all of the answers, no matter how high we may ascend or what frequencies we may have the blissful pleasure of accessing. I offer this healing path because I too am on it and in it. I too am healing. I too, on some level, need the frequencies of my facilitants as much as they need mine. I need the reflections that service of love offers to me and I take them into my heart, trusting what they offer. Trusting that they offer just as much as any current Ascension energies, kick-ups, upgrades, or integrations.
 
Who are we if we aren’t serving others to realize their own gifts, their own access, their own awakenings? Who are we to each other, if we aren’t feeling deeply those parts of us who want nothing to do with ‘people’, who resent others, who compare and criticize partly as a way to keep you small, but also to diminish the power of love within others too? I feel reminded today, of the importance as a healer, Facilitator, WaySHOWer, teacher, to continue going IN as the number one priority and to continue making and holding space for that…. and then, sharing that space too. It’s as important to cultivate the love within as it is to share it, not for validation (though sometimes parts of us need that) yet because it’s MEANT to be shared in the name of the exponential service of love.
 
Maybe it’s just perfect to be feeling this and offering it too on this day of Winter Solstice… a day that feels like it offers us all a reminder to go inward, to continue to feel, to BE with ourselves as we desire to BE with each other. There’s a portal in the hearth of your heart today, that is inviting you to feel the service of love you are called to and the steps to embodying that, which may sometimes be messy, yet are also bliss-y on the other side of all of the sacredly held feeling spaces where parts of you can Metasoul Aspects too can finally land and become as real as they are ready for and need to become. ❤
 
 
If you feel ready to explore the different parts of you and to take the next step of your journey into deeper service of love, starting with YOU, my beloveds and I are here to serve and support and you can book a free 30min intro session with one of us if you feel ready for that: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions If you are interested in sessions with me, at the moment I am serving young women around and under the age of 30.

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Day 19 ~ Journal To The Demiurge

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

I set out to connect with the Demiurge (as an Archetype of the Christian God, or Jehovah as he is known, in the Old Testament sense) some days back. Today’s journal entry penetrates the false world of the false God we created out of our need for separation and then, rememberance with the love that we are.

Some very tender tears and feeling points emerged today.

You can read this entire series from the beginning on the blog here: https://goo.gl/CgrWXZ

Here is Day 19:

Raphael: Good Morning, everyone. Everyone…, as in here in this immediate circle, yes, but also in ‘the many’ in the emanating circles flowing out from this one – Good Morning to you. ‘God Morning’ to you. A new day is dawning and it is as full of God as God can be.

When I feel what has moved for us in this journey, it so feels like a very wide and open space has opened out for us, creating a palette that awaits our imprint. I feel like I don’t know where to begin. The landscape is of fresh fallen snow so pristine. Can anyone help me out here?

Demiurge: In the silence just now, I thought for sure it would be Metatron who would speak for us all, but after waiting, I feel it is supposed to be me. I’m not sure I can speak, but I feel compelled to at least try. All of your intention and action to undertake connecting with me has opened out a place in me that I didn’t even know was there. I feel a gratitude that feels as large as what I can only describe as an ocean of falseness inside of me. Being the projection of everyone’s disowned power makes one look powerful, even feel powerful in moments, but underneath it all, I have felt like people’s disowned smallness and impotence, and fear. I have had official duties to carry out to keep the charade in place, but all of it is so far from real.

Raphael: Thank you, Demi. I like calling you by your new name. You don’t feel like the Demiurge to me any more. Maybe, Demi won’t even feel like a fit before too long at the rate of change you are living into now. This feels so tender what you are admitting and feeling today.

Demi: Thank you, Raphael.

Raphael: I want to ask you what it was that prevented you up until now from admitting the falseness you admit to today.

Demi: That question feels so large inside of me right now. The relief that I feel flooding into my being to make this admission so begs the question why I couldn’t or wouldn’t have done this sooner. I know it has to do with being literally fused to my reality, to not being able to see that there even was any options available to me. I don’t mean to say by that, that I don’t bear any responsibility, because I do. I know I accepted the projections the people put on to me, and I didn’t have to. I accepted that role as something at the time that seemed just too good to pass up. I wanted to be God, the creator and the destroyer of worlds. I was captivated by the role for a long time. But then, that captivation began to change, slowly, but with an unmistakable back pressure.

Raphael: To witness you, Demi, in a true alchemical midlife crisis is just so amazing to me in this moment, even beyond a midlife crisis really, stepping out into something new.

Demi: I can so feel the part of me that wants to curl up and die, to go away, to not face anyone. I need to feel that part of myself, and I also feel I need to accept responsibility for what I created, to feel what I avoided feeling, to feel people’s honest reactions.

Raphael: Well, in my book, if you are feeling all of that, at the same time, you are a true king of hearts.

Demi: I’d really like to ask your advice, Raphael. I know you asked my advice on so many occasions, under the false pretenses that are falling as we speak. I humbly ask you for your help and guidance. I want to live. I want to love. I want to fully accept my responsibility for what I’ve done, but I don’t want to live forever in punishment if at all possible.

Raphael: (tears) I am humbled by your humility. Looking in your eyes and feeling you, seeing you, come to terms with your remorse moves the entire universe, Demi. This is an act of your true Godhood. My advice is simply to feel us all feeling in this moment. Feeling what there is to feel while it is being felt is what transmutes everything that is awaiting transmutation. I’m so honored to share this moment with you.

Demi: I literally don’t know, what planet I’ve entered now.

Raphael: Metatron, maybe you could help us a bit here. What planet are we on? I’m not so sure myself.

Metatron: This is all the planets, Demi and Raphael. This is what holds together all matter and all spirit. This is what answers the heart cry of creation itself. This is the homecoming of love to itself.

Love birthed out of its oneness, a twoness, and in that was a great potential for relationship on one hand, but also, and fearfully so, was also a potential that this twoness would remain outside of the oneness in its experience, separate from love. Love seemed given to reckless abandon to do it anyway, prizing the gift of relationship over the fear of loss. What we are feeling today is loves vindication. Love has won. Love is winning. And, love still has much winning that has yet to occur. All of these are true. Love is out to marry its essence with all of experience.

Raphael: My goodness, Metatron! That is so wild. I thought you were going to help us locate ourselves a bit here. I feel more lost than I did before, but in a good way. Wow.

Metatron: Get used to it, my man! There’s a few more steps on this staircase awaiting the tread of your feet. You’re the one speaking about things awaiting to be felt. This is what creation itself is waiting and wanting to be felt.

Raphael: I recall that familiar verse in the Bible that says ‘the whole earth, or cosmos, groans in travail, as in birth pangs for the manifest sons of God’, and this moment reminds me of that.

Metatron: And what, Raphael, are the manifest sons of God? What do they do, what ‘be they be’ that makes them the manifest sons of God?

Raphael: I’d defer that question to you if I thought you’d let me, but I can tell you want my answer. Hmmm, what makes a manifest son of God? No pressure or anything, just the question at the heart of the universe wanting to be untangled. I’d say that has to do with feeling. Everything that is both right and wrong in the world has to do with what is felt or unfelt in the world. Sonship and daughtership is a relationship, an opportunity that begs feeling, a fireplace for the fire. When feeling what there is to feel is repressed, we create monsters of destruction that ultimately serve to take us back to our common need for love. Sons and daughters feel. Feeling takes us back to love. Even the monsters of our own creation are gifts that remind us of the love we are and always were, even as we individuated out from God, as a son or a daughter. I am a son and I am God. Both are true. How’d I do, Metatron?

Metatron: You’re rockin’ it man. You’re more metaphysical than I am sometimes!

Raphael: I think I need some ‘mega’physical about now. What say we take in some sun and surf to let in this piece? I know Andy wants to play, and I want to play too. Let’s rest up, digest and continue soon. We have a few more pieces left to feel together it feels like. Thank you, everyone.
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Galactic Alignment Energies Align ‘Past’ With ‘Present’

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

past-life-memories

 

The Christmas season, it feels like, is one of the most nostalgic phases of the ‘year’. It has magic and wonder and even love frequencies that have been difficult for many to access other times of the year. It can be and often is also a reminder of painful experiences. This year we have a big galactic alignment happening on top of the usual Christmas season frequencies, adding to the usual reactions and responses from parts of us during this ‘time of year’. I feel as if there is a ‘ping-pong’ ball being created by the current wave of energies, bouncing around, ‘pinging’ this memory and that memory and then ‘ponging’ us back to the present. If we feel this with a more expanded heart-lens though, we can feel how this pinging and ponging is becoming more feverish, more rapid and more solid too, quickening the pace of ‘memory’ downloads from this timeline and others, giving us the opportunity to feel how nothing is actually ‘in the past’, but that it’s ALL alive in the Now – this ‘time’ we are living in that we know as ‘the present’. These memories can be a mix of happy and sad… they can be about this life and/or other lives, including our galactic origins. It is a mixed bag of emotional reactions and realities, especially as we reflect on the year that has passed that we have been calling ‘2017’, and we feel how even what we feel being stirred up inside of us now is a reflection to us of something(s) that have been left unfelt, unheld, unhealed.

The energies of this currently activated galactic alignment feel to be helping us align with what isn’t actually in the ‘past’ as all, as so many of us have held it. Our emotional body does not ‘see’ painful or even joyful memories as ‘past’ at all and instead feels them as if they really are happening now. You may also be finding that memories you forgot you even had, especially of abuse or anything severely traumatic including Star BEing abductions, are surfacing now too, creating major waves in your body, your heart, your life… This-life wounding (and beyond) is surfacing, as many of us are experiencing, reminding us of what we have still to feel and heal, which is so important for the inhabitation and activation of our Merkabahs that are wanting to take us to NEW heights, places, dimensions, multi-verses. There is no overnight or quick fix, and the more space we can make and hold for all of this to surface, the better. Feeling these pinging and ponging pieces that are coming up now is what gives us our springboard to new heights and horizons. New soul discoveries, pains, patterns, etc are coming up now too, often linked to our this-life pain anyways, as this is how it is for beings as multi-dimensional as ourselves… everything is connected.

We are not alone in any of this, and in fact, we are so supported by guides, Metasoul aspects (including our various galactic aspects, too), and Divine love. We are being supported to continue asking for the help we need and responding to the love parts of us are needing and aching for. In SoulFullHeart, we are here to serve love with you… we feel how challenging and sometimes difficult it can be when parts of you come up to be felt, sometimes for the first time ever… my beloveds and I continue this inward journey, feeling and cultivating this process within ourselves and we really do love to be with others in it as well. So much moves in session space and group space with us, and it’s always surprising what comes up and how much inner wisdom we actually already have, just waiting to be tapped into through this healing work. I personally desire to serve more and more young women around and under the age of 30 and my heart would like to invite you to check us out deeper: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

 

❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Surrender To Personal Process And Divine Timing

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments
by Kalayna Colibri
Divine Light by BARON ARILD ROSENKRANTZ
Painting: Divine Light by Baron Arild Rosenkrantz
This feeling of going and BEing inward… a place of ‘active’ rest in moments right now, yet restful nonetheless. This the place where feelings can rise and be felt. Feelings that are coming from parts of you and Metasoul Aspects too. They are feelings but more so, they are experiences… they are situations that rose and fell and broke us open, or wanted to. They are tumults, storms, upheavals, and they are love spells and aired-out rooms too. And, all of this feeling is only leading you to more of everything… but especially love… and love comes in so many ways, waves and forms.
 
To be honest, in some ways, I’m still letting these words in for myself, even. I have been working with my Gatekeeper, the aspect of my Higher Self that has been responsible for so much of my soul awakenings and desires and yet has had wounding of her own and wounding she has become fused to from my soul too. She is in a big, deep process right now, that runs for fathoms below what my life looks and feels like on the surface. She is epic in the truest sense of the word, yet, she is a simple concept to in another way. Epic yet simple… “yup”, she says, “that pretty much sums up ALL matters of the soul in some way, it seems…”.
 
One piece I’ve been feeling with her, is that it’s humbling to feel how nothing is really up to us. We have ‘free will’, yes, and that free will is intended to allow us to walk freely into our most indelible paths of learning and awakening and healing. We get to choose if we want to approach life and love in this way or that way. If we want to go inward or go outward, or both. If we want to live primarily in 3D consciousness or conditioning or try something new. Or, too, if we want to live solely from kNOwing or kNOWing. There are more choices I could list here of course, but these are the first ones that come to mind and obviously some of the most relevant ones to my own personal process. These are choices I still make every day and in more and more trackable ways the more parts of me I engage with and Metasoul Aspects too. The more I engage with my Gatekeeper, the more clarity I feel about these questions and when and how ‘I’ am choosing to answer them and walk those answers out.
 
What I meant by, ‘nothing is really up to us’ is that no matter what we feel our ‘soul purpose’ is, it isn’t up to us how, when or even why it plays out. We get to inhabit it, piece by piece and step by step, in tandem with our own personal healing paths and what these paths need. Our intention alone to serve love is enough to get this ball rolling on down the hill and is enough to push what needs to be pushed up in order to keep it rolling on and on… offering us more opportunities and space in which to serve love as our highest calling and timeline.
 
Today and all days are an opportunity to be with the DIvine Feminine offerings of BEing… feeling, seeing, and perhaps, if necessary, restfully activating our highest timelines. I know this is MY personal focus today… and of course, there is a sweet invitation here for you too. ❤ Meet you in that meadow of alchemy and restful BEingness? I’ll be there with bells on!
Love,
Kalayna
P.S. My beloveds and I offer much writing and many feeling and healing tones similar to what I share today and beyond too. We are also available to connect with through SoulFullHeart sessions, which are genuine soul and heart food. We offer a free 30min intro session to orient you to the process and feel with you where we would go together: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Energies Invite You To Open Up The ‘Love’ Spaces In Your Life

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

by Bhaskar655 On Deviantart

Opening up spaces… this is always our choice, how much space we want to take or give… be in or offer. So much can take up ‘space’, including parts of us that need us, relationships to people or anything really, space in our living spaces and even our bodies. In a way, there can never really be ’empty’ spaces, only pregnant pauses, as each moment of what seems or feels to parts of you like ‘nothing’ is actually chock-full of something.

We are being invited to open up more space, allow more air in, widen the aperture, lengthen and strengthen the opportunity for MORE to come in, to fill us up in more spacious ways… no more cramping or cramming or cutting to fit. No more agony as parts of us twist themselves into human pretzels in order to fit into small, very specific expectations of culture, birth family, friendships, romances. Belonging fully to the self and finding a you-shaped space in the collective too in a healthy way, that allows still for air, breathing, BEing, envisioning, loving. And then, draws the relationships that fit and support this… to food, to soul family, to a Sacred Union mate/mates.

Yoga or other physical practices that extend beyond a self-image based focus on the body, invite more space into the body for the movement, healing, upgrading that is necessary and imminent. Consuming foods that support high vibrations of more light, love and air to enter and live in the body, is a way to nourish the spaces and indeed, create more space within the body. Meditation offers space for the parts that are stuck in the mind, in 3D and sometimes lower 4D churnings of trying to ‘figure it all out’. Breathing into your life, making space for money-making that doesn’t stress, strain or harm you or parts of you in any way, allowing for realization and development of your true soul-purpose path while having the space to go inward and continue healing… which is what truly brings it about and draws those who you need to serve and support into your life as well as who you need to support and reflect you to you in the interest of your own ongoing healing path.

Space within your heart is what is created when you choose feeling and BEing over doing. You create the space to feel and be with parts and Metasoul aspects of you so that you can then have and offer more space to others. This creates more space within your soul too, and allows for more conscious creation and being able to draw timelines you most desire.

‘Love heart, Love body, Love mind, Love soul, Love life’, as I have taken to saying recently. All the Love you need, all of the time, in ALL ways, coming from ALL of YOU. INspiring love, calling it into the spaces and crevices claimed and felt. Not consciously creating this space for yourself and your parts and Metasoul Aspects too asks life to create it for you, and often this can manifest in ways that are less than favorable. Life will press you back inward, as the ultimate facilitator of your healing. Life is love and love is life, and love wants you to have more love, be more love, serve more love WITH love. It has its own agenda, as does your soul, and your soul, like a magnet, wants to help you and every part of you, return to Love consciousness again.

Breathe into the spaces for more you to grow, see what’s there and what’s waiting for you while you are in the process of discovering and uncovering the you that you’re meant to BE. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.