Category: Change and Transformation

Invitation From Our Higher Self and The Divine As We Awaken

Published on by Jelelle Awen4 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

Invitation From Our Higher Self and The Divine As We Awaken:

To find the light in the darkest corners of the self….to trust that light MUST be in there somewhere even when the absence of it seems so real.

To bring hope to the cries of despair….to trust that the feelings of ‘this pain is never going to end’ can be answered with love.

To hold onto the bigger picture of ongoing Awakening……to understand that the personal Dark Nights and the collective Hell spaces are temporary, necessary phases of the process.

To connect with the Divine holding and purpose in it all…..to surrender control, attachment, and knowing of outcomes with trust that it is ALL coming from love.

To feel with deep compassion all that exists INside of you…..to not cast away or out, or see as ‘evil’ what only needs love and forgiveness to return to its essence of love.

To remember that you are MUCH bigger than the human body….to merge with expansive, galactic consciousness states that activate your multidimensional access.

To tap into an energy of co-creation and collaboration….to recognize that you are not a victim to your journey, the Divine, or to anyone else.

To honor your personal experience as it aligns and defines the collective one……to experience Unity Consciousness within the soul spark of your individuality.

Ultimately and inevitability……to BEcome and serve love in sacred human form.

~
I feel MUCH love and support for you and me and our BRAVE choices to respond to this invitation with an ever evolving, yet consistently arising ‘YES!’

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation…more information here. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Let Your Inner Tension BE Your Path Through 4D Ascension

Published on by Kasha Rosa4 Comments

Painting by Cristina Bernazzani

 

by Kalayna Colibri

There is no “wrong way”… there is only the way in front of you and inside of you. There is no way or path that is more correct, more aligned with you than what you are currently walking out. The flow you’re already in wants to bring you to your next places of growth and healing, as is inevitable on this Ascension journey where SO much is going on at all times.

It can be especially hard, as you walk out 4D-ascension specifically, to really let this in. To hold that you and parts of you are OK. 4D holds the container for so much churning, so many storms, so much turmoil inside as buried pain surfaces on heart AND soul levels. It isn’t comfortable and it often expresses as messes, conflicts, contention, feelings of being twisted around inside of you into a really uncomfortable pretzel as your Higher Self continues to try and find its way closer to your being. The Higher Self coming into the body causes reactions that aren’t just physical… the emotional reactions, oh, those intense emotional reactions, are all part and parcel of the bigger picture of what needs to be purged, felt, healed. The parts that surface can really inhabit the intensity of this. Parts represent so much of our old ways of being in the world and with ourselves, which is a result of our wounding and conditioning too from culture, birth family, friends, the education system, the medical system, the “Matrix” in general if you want to call it that. The ‘Matrix’ is a charged word and concept for all of the pushing away from it that is happening… it can be held by parts of you as another representation of their pain and anguish, what they want to push away from and forget about. Yet there is still a Matrix within, a very intricately-wired set of responses to life and above all, to love. This is what is being pressed upon the most when we feel this intense birth canal that IS 4D awakening and movement. And of course this is HARD… this is what has been so normalized, so accepted, yet so painful inside of all of us.

In the 4D scramble for answers, it can be understandably hard to find stillness and calm and a place within that is an undying oasis of infinite love… a place that truly believes in and trusts love. This oasis of self-love and worth is worth working for, is worth burning-up from the inside for… and is the passageway to our more consistent 5D moments and eventually whole lifestyle of 5D consciousness and breathing and being. And, though it can be so hard to feel this when the burning and purging is happening, there is SO much love holding it ALL, always and in ALL ways.

For more support and to gather at an oasis of self-love process and experience of infinite unified love with the world, you are welcome to join us at our Unity Meditation gathering happening virtually over Zoom tomorrow and for many other days and times to follow! Please join us and lean into the web of love that has been created and continues to be re-created by each amazing soul that joins in and leans in too. ❤ Go here for more info: www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/events

And, if you want to go deeper, we have 2 process programs that we offer in SoulFullHeart, ranging in price from $33/mo to $222/mo. Check out www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more info! ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

The Great Alchemy Of REALizing Our Selves

Published on by Gabriel Heartman4 Comments

There is a moment in life when a realization occurs. Almost a realization of a realization. All that you have experienced has been a grand set up for a shift. A propulsion pack that is filled with charged emotional energy that is meant to rumble and crumble the ground upon which you currently walk. Really it is the ground a part of you has created in order to survive the trauma and the drama.

Your voice may feel as if it has been cut off, your lungs constricted, your truest heart and spirit kept in another room, another dimension for safe-keeping. You have known this to be true. It was always a niggle, but now it is becoming an unignorable knock on the door. Your soul, your Service of Love Self, is asking to come home. Home to your heart, your mind, and your body.

Your galactic family is reaching out. Sending dispatches in your dreams, your intuition, your activating DNA. Switches and levers are in a ready-state for you to say YES to. YES to the New. YES to the clearing. YES to firewalk of healing and remembering. You ARE that YES. An open-hearted, passion-filled, star-bound lover of light and truth. Not just truth of mind, but truth of being.

To get to the YES, there needs to be a time of NO. NO to the lying to yourself. NO to the relationships that no longer serve the YES. NO to the inner punishment and fear. It is saying YES to the parts of you that hold the fear, the protection, and the pain. It is saying YES to claiming your own power back, claiming your scattered selves back. This is not a battle to be waged but a felt-through process of sober reflection and compassion for self and others. There may need to be raised voice, a charged response, an outward stretched palm to hold the boundary.

You are reconstituting what it means to be alive and real. No more will you accept what had been acceptable. No more will you hold the needs of others more than the needs of your own. No more will you forget what was always meant to be re-membered back into your sacred human consciousness. Your feminine and masculine heart.

This is the journey of the Inner Work. The Great Alchemy. There is a family within to bring back to your heart. A family in the heavens to seek connection with as integrated equals. You are far from alone but the choices you make are yours alone. Each one held in deep sacredness with the courage of your deepest truth, even when those truths can hurt like hell. It is trusting and feeling that Love is always waiting on the other side.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Day 3 ~ Journal To The Demiurge

Published on by Raphael Awen1 Comment

Journal To The Demiurge with Raphael Awen Day 3

By Raphael Awen

(This is Day 3 of an ongoing series, to begin at day 1, go here: https://goo.gl/CgrWXZ)

Raphael: Good Morning team. Pardon me, I realized that I’m the only one on the team that needs to sleep…, well, me and the posse of hearts here too.

Metatron: Sleep is good, Raphael. You feel awake though.

Raphael: I so do. The past few years have felt challenging to parts of me having as much free time as I do, quite an adjustment from the busyness of life that I knew in other settings and times. But this journey before us is rumbling through me with a passion and an excitement. It’s 4:30 in the morning as I sit on the patio in the predawn thumbing away again on this iPad. Thank you for this joint mission.

Metatron: What do you feel about that on a deeper level?

Raphael: hmmm. I’m feeling how all my life, I, or the part of me living my life as me at that time, sought mission and purpose. God forbid, pardon the pun, that I would lead a meaningless life. This part of me, so wanted to escape boredom. I still feel I have aspects of my Metasoul that want to heal and feel that one through my present life story to this day. This was so much a part of the draw to Christianity, getting approval and purpose from thee creator, thee God, with a capital ‘g’, thee God of everything. Where this all lands in me in this moment is that I still feel we play a big role with our intentions and choice points about how we are going to relate to life.

Metatron: What’s your intention for today, for now?

Raphael: I feel, and I like starting my intentional statement with the words, ‘I feel’,… I feel I want to be intentional and conscious of everything I’m feeling as I’m feeling it. Am I feeling everything that’s moving through me and giving love to any place of fear, giving curiosity to any place of tension or hiding? Am I showing up for myself?

Metatron: Wow, there’s a new universe, right there! And certainly doesn’t sound like one ruled by the Demiurge!

Raphael: Yes! I still very much want aliveness, and juice flowing through my veins, but I want a different relationship with all of that inside of me. I get to feel, I like to say.

Metatron: We said we’d like to talk about your Christian journey and the events that led to its demise in you. This feels like a good time to get into that. The journey to the Demiurge will need us all being brought up to speed on some of this for sure.

Raphael: Okay. I get to story tell some. I like that. There are still parts of me that have pieces to feel and heal around all of this and so sharing is an opportunity to feel them, and this journey then gets to re-create the whole deal as well.

As I said, I so wanted purpose and mission. As a teen, I wanted to escape the aimlessness I felt around me and even in my family’s version of ‘Christianity light’, as I saw it at the time. I left the family denomination at 19, where I was already an active youth leader, in one fell swoop, decided to renounce my infant baptism, by choosing adult baptism, joined another non-denominational church and signed up for the full time Bible School they hosted. I had become really drawn to miracles, signs and wonders. I wanted something real, that I could feel. I felt how the longstanding family history in a denomination felt dead to me, culturally stuck, and sooo eternally  and damnably boring. I had sat through 2 church services every Sunday since I was a week or two old, and about the only thing I hated more was the dentist.

I recall as a young boy, around 5 years old, as spring had sprung and the snow had receded in northern British Columbia, the neighborhood boys were rounding up a group to go play baseball. I looked high and low for my treasured ball glove, but couldn’t find it. After I had looked everywhere, it dawned on me that ‘God knew where my ball glove was’. I paused and prayed to God to help me find my glove, then opened my eyes, resumed my search, and boom, there it was. ‘God’ was just a given in my reality.

At 17, I ‘knew I wasn’t living right’, and that ‘I would go to hell if I died’. The pot smoking and wanting to get my hands up a girls shirt were things that had to go. I was also living with a self diagnosis of suffering with a big ‘inferiority complex’ and depression. This was the moment I made my first cult switch, as I dropped my circle of friends overnight, and jumped into my family’s Christianity. I again bargained with God ‘that unless he delivered me from my inferiority complex, I wouldn’t amount to anything’ which is kind of funny now as I feel it. I kind of told God that he needed to cough up or he wasn’t going to get any goods out of me. The crazy thing though was about 3 weeks later, while out driving my dads car, it dawns on me that I had not had any deep depression feelings for that whole time. I sincerely believed that God had answered my desperate prayer and heart cry. My energy field shifted and it wasn’t long and I was President of the youth group at our church, and the inferiority subsided.

Merlin: Wow, Raphael. I think it would have been better had you managed to get your hands up more girls shirts.

Raphael: I know! right? Merlin, thanks for jumping in here. This can all use some breathing. Part of me so was afraid of my sexuality and my desires for mateship as well, that ‘giving it all to God’ felt like ‘the right thing to do’. Again, I pawned off onto God for safekeeping what I was afraid of, just like I was afraid of my inferiority and depression and needed to use God as a way to escape it.

I met a young woman at this time through some church youth volunteer mission work, and we found our way into a romance and I felt like my life went instantly from a 2 to 9.5 on a scale of 10. Sex was being ‘saved for marriage’, and this was any kind of ‘sex’ other than kissing. When she broke up with me 11 months later, I knew it had to do with me wandering from the family faith that we were both deeply a part of, and looking to greener pastures of more exciting forms of Christianity, even the dreaded Charismatic Movement. The day following our break up, my family was away on a weekend camping trip and I sat in the black lazy boy chair in the empty living room with the house to myself, and the well of tears wanted to come, but I was able to hold them, and the depression at bay. I called a friend instead to arrange to go for coffee. Something in me ‘knew that I knew’ not to go to that ocean of tears. I again called on God to deliver me from this pain. I managed to walk away unscathed on the surface. It would be not until 19 years later that I re-encountered my depression, finally able to self lovingly let it arise to the surface to begin feeling it. Wow, talk about an effective suppression strategy, and ‘God’ was at the center of it.

How am I doing Metatron? We felt to go to me sharing about the demise of my Christianity, and I’m taking the long road  to get there…

Metatron: You’re doing perfectly. How are you feeling as you are sharing this?

Raphael: I’m feeling a ton of compassion for the me who managed and lived all of that through, for the reasons I did. I can feel another version of me who could have been able to weep all those tears at that time of the deepest conscious loss of my life; the me who is here now. And that feels good.

Metatron: Your sharing feels good too. Please…

Raphael: So, then is about when I was preparing to jump ship again and trade in everything I had for the Charismatic Movement in Christianity. I so wanted to be able to ‘speak in tongues’ as they called it. I felt this was proof of the real power of God. I knew I was ‘saved’, and my fears of hell were well behind me now in the rear view mirror, but I so wanted to feel this miracle kind of experience. It was a bit of a long journey finally arriving at the moment where in response to a church altar call, I was essentially coached into being able to access prayer language, but what a glorious moment it was feeling this miracle of prayer language flow through me in all kinds of dialects and intonations that I could play with at will. I went home that night and prayed for another hour. I knew I was at a turning point.

After a few more months of logistics and gathering the courage, I knew it would have to be a tear-the-bandaid-off kind of approach. My father had said a few months prior that if I left the church, or got adult baptized, I’d have to move out of the house. I sat him down one evening and told him in one breath and one non-stop sentence, that I was leaving the church, resigning from my youth group presidency, joining the Charismatic Church I’d been visiting, attending their full time Bible School in the fall as well as getting adult baptized. He said nothing, looked away and asked my mom for an aspirin as his headache had flared up just then. He came down to my room later that evening and told me, quite surprisingly, that he felt that if I felt my Heavenly Father was guiding me, then who was he, as my earthly father to stand in the way.

It’s interesting I’ve managed to connect with my dad, Jim, as a guide, since he passed away close to 10 years ago now. He died a few years after me jumping ship yet again, leaving Christianity, leaving a 23 year marriage, and admitting I no longer held Jesus as my personal savior. My last memory of him in this life was him in a hospital bed looking so weak a few weeks before he died, as I felt my inner boy part of me looking at him in his weakness, recalling his admiration of his dad’s once strong body. My dad garnered his energy to sit up and tell me with his forefinger pecking at the roll-away bedside eating table that ‘God said in his word that we are to honor our father and our mother, and that He ‘instituted’ family.’ We were miles apart and I chose not to go back to sit again in that energy for any more of that disconnect.

I can so feel his new energy now and feel to let him pop in here, as I’ve energized him by speaking about him.

Jim: Thank you Raphael. I love your new name. It so rocks. We gave you the name Marvin, but you chose Raphael. I’m so sorry I fed you the horse shit pile called Christianity that I was fed. I didn’t find the courage to stand up to it like you did. I know we agreed to these roles before acting them out together, but I still feel sadness that you felt pain. That was some tuff shit we agreed to. And I want to say that the Bible is the biggest horse shit pile of them all, some really attractive horse shit mind you, but shit none the less. I don’t feel afraid of God from where I am today, but boy, did I ever in my life with you. I always thought I wasn’t a coward, standing up to bullies, but you are standing up to the biggest bully of them all. I’m so proud of you.

Raphael: There you have it! Thank you Jim. That changes the energy doesn’t it!? Your voice and presence feels so accessible and I’ll count you in as another guide on this journey. Big horse shit piles! Wow. Part of me is remembering all that doctrine just now about omnipresence, omnipotence, and a few other omni’s, like omniscience.

Merlin: Sounds to me like Jim got over his God-fearing ways, and I say we sniff out the same horse shit. If God had to prattle on about his Omni this and Omni that, it sounds to me like he never had it to begin with. We gave that to him as a sacrifice of our own divinity, borne out our insecurity and unfelt wounds. We’ve been eating horseshit ever since and calling it dinner. Fucking no more!!

Raphael: Okay, and now a swearing Merlin on our hands. You usually come off so wise sounding and even-tempered Merlin…

Merlin: There’s some things that really need some fire,… earth, wind and fire, yes and Amen, if that sounds any better…

Raphael: It’s all perfect, and I need to pause for today and pick this up right where we’re leaving off if I may. I feel juiced about the opportunity to share more of my story and feel your digestions of it as we go. Metatron?…

Metatron:  I’ll need the day to take in Jim and Merlin, ‘fucking no more!’ I love it. Where did we ever this morality horseshit about what’s right, wrong, and proper, instead of feeling what we feel. So yes, I’m good and I’ll be ready when you are.

Raphael: Thanks everyone, and a big salute again to the growing posse of hearts joining this journal and journey. Same time, same channel, manana.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Embrace Rather Than Resist: Nothing Inside Of You Is Truly Negative, Dark, Or Evil

Published on by Jelelle Awen6 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

The pain comes from what has been resisted inside of you rather than embraced. The suffering comes from continual loops that pit one energy inside of you against another one. Resistance is feeling anything as ‘evil’ or ‘dark’ or ‘negative’ inside. Resistance is judging without love your body, your behaviors, your choices, your experiences.
 
Resistance is labeling things as ‘negative entities that attack you’ and then going to battle with them or to war with them (even with ‘light’) or trying to cast them out. Such a long legacy of this approach with roots in exorcisms, some Shamanism that now takes the form in New Age spirituality as ‘implant removals’. This feels like fear trying to fight fear with more fear. This only seems to produce MORE fear inside of you and in response to the outside world.
 
To embrace rather than resist is to BEcome curious, to BEcome loving, to BEcome your own ambassador to ALL the energies inside of you. To see all of what has felt like outside that is ‘doing something bad to you’ as actually coming from INside and that it has been necessary to be there. Each of these energies has stories to tell you, pieces of YOUR puzzle to offer you. While you resist them, while you label them as bad or wrong, while you disown or reject them, while you hold tension and panic in your body, while you respond in flight or fight…..you cannot create and hold the loving space to find out and discover what they are here to offer you. You cannot experience the GIFTS that these energies actually have to offer you.
 
These energies arise from often very intense unhealed polarities from one part of you to another; a dominating masculine and a repressed feminine; a dominating matriarch/inner mother and a repressed sensitive masculine; an inner mother/matriarch or inner father/patriarch and a very sensitive yet rebellious inner teenager. One of the usual dynamics is a rather ruthless feeling Punisher part of you and the corresponding shame/unworthiness that comes up in the inner child and inner Teenager in response to it. Another polarization can be the 3D Self parts that are trying so hard to remain anchored into 3D to be ‘safe’ there and the 4D awakening parts and Metasoul aspects that just want to ascend and yet don’t know how to be a bridge. Aspects from other timelines/lifetimes can be hugely polarized against your reality and everyday ‘modern’ living. More about parts and Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts
 
To embrace rather than resist is to BEcome a bridge to all of these polarities. To BE in the middle of them with love, to recognize where the source of them comes from, and to provide love to BOTH sides without actually taking sides. This ambassador YOU is watered by the Divine, who never takes sides, who never sees anything or any BEing or any energy as ‘evil’ or ‘truly negative.’
 
All energies serve a purpose in their creation…..until they are ready to move back into love again for which they are being constantly invited by the Divine to do so.
 
This ambassador YOU is your Divine Self, your Higher Self coming into your body. Your Divine Self can offer a brand NEW reality of acceptance and forgiveness to ALL dynamics and polarities and inner relationships that it finds and discovers. Your Divine Self feels when someone else’s unhealed polarities and fear are being projected onto you. When a healer or teacher has not undergone the deep dive into their emotional body and soul field to heal and feel their own polarities, it is difficult for them to offer you a truly uncharged and loving energy in response to yours. Their unhealed fear inside projects onto you and triggers the parts of you that are also in fear. I have seen trauma created from this in seekers and in teachers/healers that are innocent in one way in perpetuating this unfelt cycle with each other.
 
I know this sounds simple in some ways. Embrace rather than resist. Yet, what is challenging about this is that we haven’t been given the language to describe these dynamics. We haven’t been given a model for how to BE this way with ourselves and ALL parts of ourselves. Instead, we have been fed, bred, and served clashing polarities in our governments, in our parents and families relationships with each other and with us, in our religious and spiritual groups, in our professional and cultural societies. This has been 3D going into 4D, to experience this clash of separation, isolation, competition, contention, insecurity, scarcity, distrust, and lack of surrender and to accept it as ‘normal’ and even necessary.
 
ALL of us have received this conditioning as we have chosen to be here during this phase of Ascension with Gaia. To battle and to fight is ingrained in our Metasouls, where multiple and many timelines are playing out these very inner polarities expressing on the outside. To pick up the sword, to lash out in words, to take sides….this has been our dominant experience in 3D and even going into 4D as well.
 
You have probably put down the swords that parts of you used to take up towards others. You probably have forgiven others in a deeply genuine way.
 
Yet, now, is the turning inward and offering to yourself and ALL parts of you what you have extended to everyone else. Now is self forgiveness and self compassion that FLOODS all parts of you with love that transmutes, that transforms, that brings HOPE and infinite possibilities to every cell in your BEing and every remaining trauma and pain in your emotional body. Now is to BEcome your own love ambassador and bring diplomacy and peace to any warring factions that remain inside your BEing.
 
Now is to embrace rather than resist….inviting it all by love and with love to BEcome love once again.
~
We provide support for the arising/rememberance of your ambassador self and a bridge for your connection to all aspects of yourself (led by you) through sessions. More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions
Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation…more information here. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

FREE PDF of Jelelle Awen’s book, Under The Bloated Banyan, available today!

Published on by Raianna Shai2 Comments

Jelelle is sharing today as a FREE GIFT PDF her spiritual memoir called Under The Bloated Banyan: My Journey From Awakening To Disillusionment Within a High-Demand Spiritual Group.

“Banyan covers a six year span of time starting in December 2003 where I began my awakening journey through parts work process in earnest. It also shares my courtship and dating and eventual marriage with Raphael after we both left the group together in 2008. None of my soul family friends and teacher would talk with me after this time and I also gave up my livelihood as a facilitator of the work. This was such a bittersweet time. Falling in love while it felt like so much of my life and who I felt that I was connected to the group falling apart. I learned so much during and after this time about myself, parts of me, my Metasoul legacy, and what kind of leader/teacher/healer I wanted to be and NOT be.

The content in Banyan (I first published it for a couple of years in 2013) was once controversial and very vulnerable for parts of me to share this story as many people still in the group (and once my beloved soul family) judged and criticized me for sharing it. Now, the group has been dissolved for a few years, so there is less charged sense about sharing it again. This phase of my journey now feels like a movie, something that happened to someone else in some ways, an alternative timeline. I can feel the parts of me that have since healed from being so self conscious, anxious, drawn to dysfunctional and even abusive relationships. Yet, still, it lives in my heart as very real and, of course, my sacred union connection ground with Raphael began in these soils.

It feels timely to share this story too as the collective moves from spiritual/religious codependency models such as the guru-devotee to the sovereign “I” experiencing Unity Consciousness within a community with healthy leadership. I think you will find this story interesting if you have been curious about what it is like to be in an intense high-demand group and esp. If you have drawn this experience yourself this life or just are curious to feel and know more about my personal journey. Plus, ultimately, this is an inspiring story about love and how it prevails and is often revealed during the most dark and difficult circumstances!”

You can purchase this book in e-book and print editions too, as well as her other three books here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/books

You can read an excerpt here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/under-the-bloated-ban…

 

~

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation…more information here. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Subtle Energy for Beginners ~ Day Two ~ You Are Energy

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

Thank you for joining me for this ongoing personal exploration into the world of subtle energy. This is Day two. Go here to read this series from the beginning: https://goo.gl/WqWXXb

Here is Day Two:

I was standing near the counter in a crystal store about 8 years ago looking at some of the goodies under the glass counter when a porous looking and feeling fellow around my age came by and we greeted one another. I asked him about his relationship to crystals and energy and he said, as he tapped his finger on the chrome edge of the display counter, ‘It’s all energy. Everything is energy.’ I recall being so intrigued by his words and wishing him to go on. I knew he was correct, my mind just wanted to become more fluent to get it, to be able to explain it. I knew we are all coming more and more to see that the world of spirit and the world of matter are not separate as we imagined them to be AND I knew I had a long ways to go in opening out this awareness.

I still do. We all do.

We get to reinvent our understanding and our experience of life. If part of you honestly doesn’t like life as you’ve known it, this may be for very good reason. This part of you knows that life as you’ve known it, and as you were sold it, is missing something huge, and that something has been hidden in plain sight.

This Subtle Energy For Beginners series will set out to open out and expand that conversation at the crystal store that day. I want to revisit it from ‘beginner’s mind’. I want to begin again and see where in my previous beginning I made certain assumptions about the nature of reality and see if those assumptions are ready to be challenged. I want to re-create my world with a new set of assumptions and try them on for size.

Subtle energy has to do with the ability to track, to feel and even transmit energy fields. Whether it’s a Reiki energy session or a prayer line of a charismatic church service, many are awakening to this world in recent decades, but it’s still quite in its infancy for us collectively, more of a sideshow or a therapy than it is a deeply ingrained natural way of life.

Things like clairvoyance, or ‘clear-seeing’, the ability to see beyond what physical eyesight can see; Clairsentience, or ‘clear-feeling’, the ability to deeply empathically and intuitively feel what the physical five senses cannot; clairaudience, or ‘clear-hearing’, the ability to hear beyond what the ears can hear; all of these are waiting to be integrated into our normal everyday waking reality.

Why is it that this entire world of subtle energy is discredited, disputed and disbelieved by mainstream culture and science?

Why are many who are convinced of subtle energy as being real are conflicted over what is ‘from the dark side’ and what is ‘from the light’?

Why is it that those who do believe in subtle energies struggle to enter and experience this domain abundantly for themselves personally?

I’m going to offer that the answer for all of the above questions has to do with the very same thing; it has to do with the fact that we are energy.

We are energy. We are not the physical body. The physical body is a downstream expression or a manifestation of the energy that we are. Our conditioning so doesn’t get this, and actually doesn’t want to get this either. We are actually afraid of our energetic reality and how seeing ourselves as energy will change our relationship with all of life as we’ve known it up till now.

Our conditioning instead sees the opposite, that the body and its biological physicality are the highest order of reality, and then this conditioning goes on to include, exclude, and measure everything it encounters or aspires to, through that lens.

If it is true; that what we actually are is energy, this takes us back to revisit the question of ‘what is energy?’

The dictionary offers these words to help us understand energy: vitality, vigor, life, liveliness, animation, vivacity, spirit, spiritedness, verve, enthusiasm, zest, vibrancy, spark, sparkle, effervescence, ebullience, exuberance, buoyancy.

At the moment, I like combining all of the above into the words ‘current’ or ‘flow’, kind of similar to how we understand electricity as energy.

We are flow. We are current. Current flows from one polarity to the other. Flow flows ‘from’ and ‘to’. Energy flows by invitation, or by need, we could say.  

What’s current in your life is a current. You are an ever flowing stream called you. You are life force. You are God as God can be.

We’re left in awe and reverence, and opened out to curiosity, with the mind in more unknown than in the known. We don’t really know what we are. We are on a quest with the greatest of questions, seeking to know.

Maybe the best metaphor we have to address this inability-to-know is the familiar one of the fish trying to get a handle on what water is. What we are submerged in, we normalize, we minimize, take for granted and no longer ‘see’ or experience, with any deep reverence.

As we begin to thaw out this frozen awareness of the self perception of being the physical body and begin to start believing, seeing, and feeling subtle energy, we do it from the vantage point of our more familiar sense of physical reality. We naturally make it about having physical experiences of ‘paranormal’ phenomena. Seeing a ghost with your physical sight is naturally thought of as a superior experience to that of ‘sensing’ a ghost; a deeper proof if you will. We have the idea that our supreme five physical senses will become even more supreme with this expanded capacity to see the supernatural. This is a big part of our being limited to grow into our essence as energy.

These persuasions are founded on there actually being a difference between the physical and the energetic, a split between spirit and matter. There isn’t actually a split here, other than the one we imagined, and in turn made seem all too real. It’s time now to uncreate our previously created reality.

Let me ask for a moment, ‘If the physical is energy, that means the five physical senses are also energy, so isn’t smelling a flower also an energetic experience at the same time it is a physical experience?’ So then, it’s all energy – whether seen through the physical eyes or seen through the third eye of intuition. What we’re left with is not so much a question of which is superior, but rather a question if we are ready to live by our expanded perceptions or not. Are we ready to self-validate the world we perceive and see in all of our enlarged capacities?

Let’s stay with our segregated perception of the world between the material and spiritual for a bit longer to help see what we are trying to invite the mind and body into. Where would we experience something, if it didn’t happen in the physical? What would we call that? My sense is to call it whatever you want, but call it something as you are going to need a language and a name to venture any further into this new world we are letting ourselves into.

You could say, you experienced it metaphysically, etherically, or in your mind’s eye, or in your third eye, or in your imagination, all of which are as good a starting place as any.

Keep in mind though, that this delineation about the physical over the metaphysical; or of spirit over matter, isn’t really real, as all of it is energy, just in different forms. It’s all one. There’s no actual difference and there’s no actual hierarchy, except in our conditioning. We’re just delineating it here to try and pry the mind open enough to begin to open up to the energy we are.

Let’s take a field trip in the imagination for a moment to the ice cream shop. Instead of an actual trip to the ice cream shop, let’s imagine one in our minds. Which ice cream shop are you choosing and where is it? What flavors do they have there, and how are they served? Which flavor are you choosing today? Really see this and feel this in your mind’s eye for a moment with as much detail as you can. How does it feel to you to be eating this ice cream? It isn’t long before your body begins to have the physiological reaction of your mouth beginning to water. Your imagination is triggering a deeper experience making it feel more and more real, even tricking the mind, blurring the real from the imagined.

However we file this experience, we have to admit we went somewhere, where even our body and pleasure reactions etc. got activated WITHOUT actually going anywhere physically.

We see that entering a metaphysical experience isn’t nearly as strange as we’ve made it out to be. In fact, all of us do it all the time in so many ways. Where ‘is’ someone, when they are bored in school or in a meeting and we say, ‘they’re here, but not here’? Their body may be present, but their attention (energy) is somewhere else.

Ask any man if they ever had an intense experience looking at pornography. Ask any woman if they ever had an intense experience reading a romance novel. These experiences are powerful energy experiences, so powerful in fact, that they form strong alternative-reality addictions for us as a species, where we want and are vulnerable to something we don’t currently have. And all of it is going somewhere energetically and emotionally in the imagination.

The imagination is a portal in this way. You are energy and you always were. Open up now to the energy that you are.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

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Ascension Love Energies Invite Healing Of Contention In Our Parts And Metasoul Aspects

Published on by Kasha Rosa3 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

The illuminating LOVE waves cascading over us now and always, are shedding light on the knotted places inside. The places that, when touched, send ripples of what have become knee-jerk triggers flowing through our hearts and bodies. Feelings of defeat or a need or contend, feelings of loss or a need to over-compensate for what has been lost, feelings of needing and wanting to “fight” – for revenge, for retribution, in defense, in anxiety – ultimately, out of fear on some level. Contention and the temptation towards it that parts of us and Metasoul Aspects have is the BIG one, it feels like. It has been the main default for when we feel reactions. It’s either time to go to war, or it’s time to hide. And the middle ground doesn’t often get navigated, for even to claim to be a ‘light” or “love warrior” still throws down the gauntlet and invites a battle of some kind.

Love, because it is SO powerful when it’s in its purest, most real form, has the power to elucidate this reactivity and does draw out the desires in parts and Metasoul Aspects to fight in some way, often against it actually, because genuine love is a challenging energy to let in and presses on all of the unworthiness within us. Sometimes we need to walk this out and obviously as a species, human beings have been attached to this sort of play out in conflictual situations for a long time now. We cannot fault or blame the parts of us or others who have embodied this, as we’ve all co-created it in so many layers and sometimes even in subtle ways, and, these parts have NEEDED these energies. Especially in the harsh reality of 3D where there is competition, abuse and violence on MANY levels, socio-pathic ferocity without consideration of its impact, and misguided use of power, so often rooted in an intense need for more self-worth and love within.

At times, contentious energies seem to pop out of us, sometimes unsolicited, sometimes fully invited. These energies and emotions, like any others that come through us in waves, sometimes need to take the floor. Choosing to make space for this, to own it and feel it and get curious about it too, opens to the door to much, much healing on this ground. To the degree that we have contention still brewing inside of us, quite often from part to part or very much alive in a timeline (or many) of our Metasoul Aspects, we will draw it, even look for it, on the outside.  In this incredibly complicated world that has been so violent and painful at times to face and be part of, reclaiming our power IS to go inward and become the loving parent to parts of us that so need a humble adult heart to lean into. We’ve all felt the distrust that arises and the lostness feelings of needing to claw our way up and out of the wells we’ve found ourselves in. Contention has so often been the only way that parts of us could grab onto to help themselves out of the well, often exacerbating the situation instead of resolving it, especially within where the real contention is and has always been…

With these Ascension love codes helping us feel all of this now, comes an invitation to continue feeling our next places and especially where those more contentious triggers within us are still living. We get to be with these energies as they live inside parts and Metasoul Aspects of us and help them find and feel a NEW way that lives in and from true self-love and an overflow of abundant compassion and love from us to the world and back again. This is the way of drawing the new day of the New Earth into our Now, not as an event to wait for, but a reality that emerges from within and contagiously and courageously flows outward.

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Whew!! Coming Through The Powerful March SOULar Activations Passage

Published on by Jelelle Awen6 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

What an INtense couple of weeks it has been during this March Equinox 2018 passage! The sacred masculine activations through SOULar winds, geomagnetic storms, and waves have been near constant for close to two weeks. They ebbed and flowed and ‘hit’ you depending on how consciously you were meant to feel and track them. You may have become more aware during this time of how cosmic energy is not really ‘out there’, yet how much it can impact your inner cosmos. These energies are meant to catalyze and support our ongoing arising into sacred humanity. We became more attuned to how we ARE energy and everything we experience on the emotional and spiritual and physical levels is a reflection of energetic shifts and changes from both ‘outside’ and INside.

Also, linear time dissolved from our mental tracking that much more. There was often just the moment of Now with more multidimensional awareness of timelines overlapping and merging and collapsing around us. There was so often an inability to track with the mind at all and eventual surrendering to the Higher Self and our higher dimensional aspects/guides that seemed to kNOW what was going on. A trust that the whole process was being held, guided, and supported from our Higher Selves was more palpable as parts of us HAD to lean in more and let go of controlling.

These activations seemed to bring in, MARCH in…. Bliss Mess experiences with ups and downs. The SOULar wind currents could take you from intense joy to acute pain to sweet surrender……all within the same day! They could offer tastes of New Gaia 5D states of self love and compassionate love for ALL sentient BEings with deeper awarenesses that we are ALL meant to come along during the Ascension process. Kundalini awakenings and dripline surges of Divine Feminine and Masculine frequencies created NEW pathways of consciousness for the inner and out experience of TRUE sacred union within the body. Clarities and callings and calls to action connected to your highest timeline manifestation here downloaded through messages, images, visions, dreams, and synchronicities. You may have experienced a deeper embodiment of your Service of Love Self/5D Self and the next choice points that lead to MORE of this BEing state.

There were the physical body reactions of muscle pains and tensions, dizziness and even vertigo, ears ringing and singing, head and neck aches, nausea and appetite shifts, sleeping pattern changes (SO sleepy and foggy sometimes) and WIDE awake too at new times. Activation of our light bodies went to a NEW place, an accelerated invitation to the densest aspect of our physical expression to keep crystallizing through detoxification and clearings on a cellular level. Previous illnesses/injuries/diseases, denser choices in food and deathstyle habits came up and out to clear the way for MORE light to come in. Your Higher Heart activation is connecting you to the cries of the world and a place where killing frequencies can no longer be digested, supported, or ignored.

Where your body stores emotional congestion and karmic wounding vibrated through to express as voices from parts of you that still hold self punishment, self consciousness, self doubt, shame, over protectiveness, and guilt. These parts of you are coming UP now to be seen, heard, and felt by you, to be offered loving self space holding. These parts of you want to transmute their energy from judgement to discernment, from self consciousness and self doubt to self acceptance, from shame to innocence, from protectiveness to guidance, from guilt to forgiveness. These fragments and pieces of your 3D Self (your Protector, your Punisher, your Inner Teenager and Child, your Inner Mother/Father) are ready to come back into wholeness with you again and find a soft place to land in your heart and soul. More about parts here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

The EQUInox energies illuminated polarization from inside of your masculine and feminine aspects. This may have showed up in clashes and sudden relationship issues with others. The standoffs and conflicts with others escalating so that you can complete, resolve, and respond with NEW frequencies of love. The Higher Heart activations make abuses unable to be accepted, both as they occur inside and with others. Even what you define as ‘abuse’ is shifting to a higher criteria for yourself and with others. Repressed sexuality based on this life abuse trauma and Metasoul/other timelines is getting your attention and healing so that you can BLOOM into your gender sexuality with maturity, with self love, and within your embodied humanity.

The necessity of connecting with and becoming conscious of your chakras in a NEW way downloaded during this passage too. Ascension Chakra Vortexes became more clear to me during this Equinox passage as the next place of expansion in our relationship with our chakra bodies to help with INtegration of these cosmic energy activations. We are being activated to have a consciousness of our chakras in a deeper way, in a less linear way, and in a more intimate way. This happens through activation of our 5D violetprint through connection with our Personal Sun Chakra Vortex, our Higher Heart Chakra Vortex, and our Gaia Chakra Vortex. This is the guided meditation that I did to offer this: https://soulfullheartblog.com/2018/03/20/activate-your-personal-sun-higher-heart-and-gaia-ascension-chakras-guided-meditation-video/

Our service of love offerings through SoulFullHeart were ignited during this time….as yours might have been too. I am now offering 1:1 bridging sessions with me over zoom for $55 USD for up to 90 minutes for men and women with more information here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session. We felt guided to offer more activations of Unity Consciousness through sharing our community Merkabah during a group session for members of our PREP and DEEP programs, a livestream where we responded to your questions, and a Unity Meditation call (our biggest group call yet.) We are now feeling to offer a free Unity Meditation call every ten days or so, corresponding to cosmic energy events and happenings. Our next ones are on April 4th and 14th with more information here: soulfulllheartwayoflife.com/events or https://www.facebook.com/pg/soulfullheartwayoflife/events/?ref=page_internal

The social body has been activated to move from over dependence models such as guru-devotee or overly independent such as in being a lone wolf to interdependence within conscious community. This means the continual revealing and healing of the shadow expressions of our previous cult-ural group experiences. I am re-releasing tomorrow a memoir about my Dark Night and Awakening experiences within a high-demand spiritual group and my courtship/falling in love with Raphael that led to us leaving that group. It is called Under The Bloated Banyan and we’ll be giving that book away as a FREE PDF tomorrow March 28th (which is also our ninth wedding anniversary!) with details about that coming soon. You can also purchase that book and all my books as PDFs, ebooks, and print editions here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/books

ALL of these processes activated during the last two weeks offers a VERY palpable acceleration of Ascension that continues with this new year of 2018. These are ongoing processes, of course, with the invitation for all of us to deepen, expand, and embody continuing on into the next days, weeks, months, and years. YOU are the event you’ve been waiting for and these are the happenings both INside and outside that create our NEW world based on LOVE in this NOW.

To read all of my energy updates go here: https://soulfullheartblog.com/category/by-jelelle-awen/energy-updates-with-jelelle-awen/

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Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation…more information here. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

The March Of Your Life Starts Within

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

Yesterday, the March For Our Lives movement demonstrated an arising timeline in the US. I have not spent a huge amount of time reading but enough to feel a dynamic in my heart. There is a new wind blowing in the outing of a “done-ness” that a generation is having with the old guard. A consciousness of fear that has used fear to perpetuate a right to fear.

I remember it all too well. It is a terribly bleak view of the world that does what it can to use the power of data and interpretation of the law to not FEEL what is happening. Feeling is not accepted as a legitimate data point. The experience of those that have been emotionally and physically terrorized are not quantifiable so therefore inadmissible. I get that this edges on a debate. Yes, I get there are a lot of facts out there. I don’t think I could “win” them. I am only here to feel and bear a heart presence to what is wanting to shift in our consciousness around the violence in our midst.

This violence IS a consciousness of fear and separation. There is a pain that lies at that heart of it all that can only come out in collision. It is rumbling through the poetic words of a generation that is tired of sitting quietly. The heart of this Voice is seeking a Unity. A unification that highlights the polarization of a population. It is a macrocosm of what is happening in the soul of a nation, within each heart of the players in the drama.

It becomes an issue of lives lost vs. lives saved. Rights vs. Rights. Money vs. Voice. A lot of ‘versus’. But this feels like a part of the Awakening. The Arising. The question is does it fold into the ‘Violence Trap’ or the ‘Violet Heart’? Where does this movement hold its center? That center must be held withIN. Love can only come out on top of this one if it has any hope of waking others up, if it is meant to do so.

This is the human heart facing itself. Coming to terms with itself. We are One. We are Individual. How does that reconcile Itself in the depths of our passions, purpose, and experience? I feel we are being INvited into our own narratives. What stories are we holding onto and for what reason? What story wants to be explored beyond what we have allowed parts of ourselves to be stuck with? A revision is being sought on a national and global scale, yet the biggest revision occurs when the movement happens within.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.