Lunar Eclipse Supports Feeling Shadow of Polarizations, Invites Unity

By Kalayna Colibri

Last night while witnessing the moon’s eclipse and feeling it hanging very close to my field, I was struck by a feeling of emerging sisterhood in my life and process, yet also the potential for it worldwide.

Yet… the temptation for many seems to still be that the way to unify is in anger. The way to find our common ground is to get pissed. To rage. To march. To condemn the masculine… in men yet also in each other. This is masculine versus masculine in the end, leaving the world inside and outside of us without any room for the sacred masculine AND feminine to unite and make love.

Pointing fingers, protesting, arguing without care of where and how it lands in each other is a phase of our relationship to each other that wants to move into something new. It’s a deep shadow expression of our fear of actually loving ourselves and each other. It’s a fear that the cycles of pain will continue while we continue to become a cog in the wheel, contributing to this cycle with that same fear. Real intimacy brings up a lot more than anger and push-away. It brings up tears and vulnerability, it brings up what’s underneath the rage and presses the heart to open in order to keep giving and receiving nourishment.

This picture of relationship I’m describing is not idealized or impossible… I get to live this every day, I get to be challenged by the presence of others who want to keep this flow going within themselves and with me, I get to feel and meet the challenge of continuing to move through my resistance to love and to keep letting it in… knowing full well that doing so means walking into fires of personal funeral pyres as the old way of approaching life and others passes away, and also knowing that it means getting to experience the heaven of a deeper and easier love flow than I’ve ever experienced before.

Even last night… sharing intimacy with my mate Gabriel, feeling his admiration of myself, my body, my heart and soul, I felt my admiration for his and let his male gaze into every pore. I felt so many tears come up and out like a fountain, feeling the pain of my soul and heart in relating to the masculine in ways that weren’t nourishing on either side and feeling afraid of it. Feeling the pain of a collective of women and what they’ve experienced and also the pain of the men who have not ever been initiated into how to make real love with a woman and what it feels like to be truly met or felt on their side either.

The more energy that’s spent in blame-game shaming and pushing away at each other, the less opportunities we create for the deep healing and nourishing intimacy that’s possible, that wants to bloom and blossom starting between parts of you that are polarized to each other but who want love more than anything else in this world. Starting to see and feel these dynamics within is the best and most profound way to shift what you draw in your outer relationships and what you start to see is really possible with each of them. ❤️

For support as you go into this territory and really feel how it all applies or could apply to you, my beloveds and I hold sacred session space for these explorations and more: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Ascension Energies Amplify And Support Inner Masculine Healing

This inner quest continues. The quest of the masculine to get to know itself. I use the pronoun “it” to denote an energy rather than a gender. This quest is fueled by curiosity and desire. Not a need to overcome, master, or fix. It wants to feel its power, its strength, and courage. It also knows there is the shadow to look at in response to that.

Recently there has been a mainstream appeal to what is being labeled as “traditional” or “toxic” masculinity and its effect on society. This is receiving praise as much as it is receiving ire. There is a masculine voice within some men that defends against a notion it is responsible for the ills of the world. It feels attacked and judged for the actions of certain individuals.

I can feel where this is true coming from a particular perspective, from this part I should say. As we are becoming more aware of what has been happening in the darkest parts of our collective, there is a rumbling that is occurring. There is a network of voices that are coming out to join forces against a very institutional, subtle, and not so subtle, part of our society. The wounded masculine is getting a light shined on it and it is very uncomfortable.

The reactions can come as far as saying that there is a war on men and that boys are going to be turned into weak and feckless adults. When I hear that all I can feel is this masculine’s judgment toward the feminine. Yes, I can see where boys and men are not inhabiting their power and are in need of heart-open initiation that offers them power WITH the feminine and not OVER the feminine. No, we are not all bad guys, but we have unconscious habits and perspectives that do need authentic and curious exploration if we are going to evolve as a society.

This rush to defense, to me, signifies a soul wound that is in deep protection. I think there is a legitimate caution to not create a generalization that takes us in some polarized reaction. I am not “one of those guys”, but I do know as part of the collective male/masculine psyche I do have things to feel into and uncover within myself. That is the next level for all of us to consider when we talk about ascension and healing. It is not a blame game, but a deep and serious look at what is at play underneath our hoods. This is equally true for women.

My desire is to create a healthy dialogue and personal invitation to what this exploration may reveal about ourselves and our nature as men. It is to take us into a new relationship with our masculinity AND our feminity. This is what I feel we are being offered by Love in all Its energy fluxes and activations. This is the year of the arising sacred masculine within all of us.

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Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

The Sanity Of Your INsanity

The thinning of the veil is elucidating your most hidden places. The ones you thought you had under control or weren’t even aware of. The contentedness is slowly losing its hold on your emotional reality. What I want to offer here is that there is a life-line. It is to actually go INsane. Which in this way means to go “into the healthy”. In our fear-based consciousness, we have turned away from going into the deep emotional as the Holy Grail of our greatest gift to ourselves.

These energies have been called our inner Demons. They have felt like a haunting to some. An intense barrage of thought and emotion that have been medicated by all sorts of prescriptions, whether drugs, or sex, or anything else that has aided as a distraction. Some may just be living with it trying to “get by” as best they can. I want to give a voice to these “demons”, for they are actually your unheard and unfelt angels. They have a message to deliver to you and you just haven’t had the means to be able to actually hear without being overwhelmed.

You are not crazy. You are becoming very sane. You are being gifted with your soul’s calling and the messengers of Love. You can choose what messages to take in and when, for you are the leader in this new world you will have created for yourself when you have taken the first step to go in and feel all the parts of you that have a voice, and that need you.

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Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Inner Masculine/Feminine Balance Guided Meditation – DAY 15: 33 DAYS DEEPEN W/JELELLE & RAPHAEL AWEN (VIDEO)

DAY FIFTEEN: DEEPEN 33 Day Video Series – Inner Feminine & Masculine Balance

Guided Meditation W/Jelelle & Raphael AwenThis is day fifteen of 33 in my daily video series called Deepen. Today, my beloved and SoulFullHeart Facilitator Raphael Awen joins me to talk about inner feminine and masculine balance. Raphael shares about a process that he is holding with his inner masculine and feminine parts/aspects to explore where there is more doing, linear, and power driven masculine rather than a balance of masculine energy with feminine heart presence. Jelelle shares about how this applies to the inner masculine for women (as represented by the Protector.)

Each Moment As An Invitation To Self-Love

Each moment is an invitation to love yourself in a way that is beyond what a part of you has ever believed was possible or acceptable. The courage to get real with yourself is what leads to vulnerable choice points. The kinds that change the trajectory of your life to what this part of you ever felt worthy of.

It is the getting to the brass tacks of what we truly feel inside that offers us our next steps IF we choose to feel the fear, doubt, and impossibilities that undergirds each one. The trust that is needed is found in space between you and this fear of getting harmed on the other side.

Get to know and feel all your truths, even as they contradict themselves. Which ones are based in fear and which ones in love? There is really no confusion other than what we choose to be afraid of feeling. Feel that and there is only action on the other side. No longer stasis. Hurt may be a part of the equation but you are no longer the same. You are alive and living. You are becoming aware how much you missed yourself.

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Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Energy Update: Invitation To Connect With Divine Mother/Father Through Personal Sun Chakra

By Kalayna Colibri

Today I feel a mix of energies coming in via our Personal Sun chakras, an Ascension chakra located about a foot above our heads. When I feel and see this chakra, I feel warmth as if I am laying in the sun’s rays at the beach or in a park. I see it swirl with bright white-golden hues and other colours too. Today, it feels very bright and present, offering us downloads and activations but a way to BE with them too.

The masculine energies from Divine Father are grounding and warming today… they are offering illumination through this chakra and also a feeling of being held and protected, while also offering the wisdom of non-action unless necessary, of taking the time to be with each arising moment. This isn’t something I’ve been very good at personally, yet the desire even in my own masculine aspect named Kaius, is to be in each arising moment fully immersed and fully present in heart.

The feminine energies from Divine Mother are spacious and compassionate today… they are offering space to feel the courage and the fear that comes up too when truly seeing all possibilities for ourselves and our relationships, when truly committing to our next steps as they appear before us. She offers, as always, space to be, to feel, to let in love and let go of what isn’t love, and to begin to know the difference as experienced and expressed by our own hearts. I feel my feminine aspect, Kathleen, letting this in today. Her heart is still raw from experiencing a renewed connection with Kaius and the new possibilities for them both in relationship to each other. She is usually very oriented to my outer relationships, especially romantic ones, and she is learning to pull back inward and look to Kaius for what she would normally want from an outer romantic partner.

On that note of sharing about my inner masculine and feminine aspects, I feel how these frequencies from Divine Mother and Father today are also illuminating next steps for the inner sacred union, the one that is most important in our lives, the one that needs the most attention, compassion, and love as well as undying curiosity to keep feeling what’s happening within it. This is what shifts all outer relationships, which can feel scary but exciting, both. The possibilities for new alchemy too is strong once you feel how these two aspects are relating (or not relating) to one another.

Connecting with your own Personal Sun chakra today feels like the invitation… to feel what wants to download to you, what next steps you may need illuminated for your own inner healing process, and to just plain feel how loved you ARE, right here, right now. ❤️

Much love!

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Passage To The Deep Masculine: Connecting With The Inner Feminine

“The passage to the deep masculine is through, and with, the deep feminine.”

This was a quote I read once form a book about the sacred masculine. It was new I formation, but at the time it landed in me profoundly. Made more sense in my heart than it did in my head. It comes back around today as I continue on this deepening inner quest of my own sacred manhood.

The eclipse energy provided a softer tone in my inner environment. I could feel a contrasting presence from my experience yesterday. She lives in the forest and communes with the animals. She sings and glides gently from place to place. Swirls of energy dance around her as she seems almost etheric or misty in vision.

She used to feel like an angsty and irritated energy inside of me not knowing exactly how to feel or be in a man’s world and body. It was fusion to this energy that can be a confusing space for both the man and his inner feminine. A battle of sorts. I have also felt a suppression and a judgement of her as well. This is what gets highlighted in their presence. The shadow of our relationship to Her.

But as a man begins to connect and learn from her from this deep feeling place, he begins to see and feel life from a much different vantage point. There is a reconciliation that starts to happen and the layers of judgement, shame, guilt, control, and rage find their rightful place and we can then be with them in a real way. In a vulnerable way.

The inner feminine is like a catalyst of the healing process within each of our masculine hearts. She helps us to see the broader picture and feel the poignancy of each moment. The beauty of the Now. The flow of being that gives our doing a sense of magic.

On my journey she is like a beacon and a poultice of all the places I need to go to heal this one man’s heart and soul. She is the Yin to my Yang that will deepen over time and into a union that sparks more of my leadership and my creativity. She is the object of an inner romance that amplifies and deepens my outer one. This is the passage to what I believe takes Man-kind to its next level of its human maturation and evolution.

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Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations

The Quest Of The Sacred Masculine: Healing The Inner Teenager

On my current quest of Soul, I found myself on the other side of a ravine having just crossed a bridge that was inspired by one of Jelelle Awen’’s meditations a couple of days ago. Alongside me is my Protector/Gatekeeper named Rogan. He is feeling like the Lewis to my Clark for all you American history buffs. Or the Marco to my Polo. However you want to relate to it. We are a team, and he is there to help me access the areas in my emotional and spiritual body that is in need to be felt or related to for any reason.

This morning I had a hit in my heart from an old part of me that I have worked with in the past that goes by my birth name Chris. He was the part of me that related to life before awakening. More of a 3D interface at times, but now feels to hold a more 4D inner teenager energy. I felt just to go with the intuition and check in with him.

There were some remaining tears about the way he lived life and wish that it could have been different. Not really regret or shame, but just a sweet remorse. Leftover remnants that needed to be felt apparently as I continue this journey. I then felt his longing and ache for a father energy that was different than what he was raised with. This felt really tender and very poignant as a man delving deeper into soul and heart.

What I got from this experience is that as we heal in order to ascend (it does not happen with some effort), there are layers in the emotional body that need our attention. As a man, one of the more sacred layers is that of our inner teenager and his relationship to his father. This feels true for women as well. The wounded teenager holds so much of our relationship to all sorts of life be it sacred or mundane. It wanted and needed so much for sacred initiation by a masculine that had his own healing and quest of soul as a priority. Unfortunately, many of us did not get that. What we can feel is that we got the best they could give us even if it wasn’t much or quite a bit.

I felt the Divine Father come into our space together offering Chris his heart and an invitation to be held and supported by Him. We would co-lead an initiation together and heal the remaining reactions to a life that is increasingly in the rearview. Tears flowed at the possibilities to heal and experience what he had always wanted. This is the hallmark of transmutative healing from the inside out.

So now Chris is on this epic quest with me as I continue to retrace my steps back to Self, Soul, and Service. He remains an integral part of my inner world, as do all inner teenagers. As a man, this will open out into a deeper connection with inner masculine guides that will all be a part of the awakening and arising sacred masculine within us all.

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Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

The Quest For Soul

I am not sure if every man (or woman’s masculine) feels the draw for a quest, but I can feel that desire inside of me. I remember my friends and I played all sorts of games that sparked the imagination and sent us to far off lands, both fantastically and galactically. Of course, there was always a battle where we would arise victoriously or fall in defeat.

However, the shift has turned inward. The outer battles getting old and tired. The fantasy turned to a hardened reality. I chose to go on a new quest where I wanted to end the battles within and find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. What I have learned is that the quest IS the pot of gold.

There is an epic world and story inside of us comprised of conditioning, beliefs, and experiences that have formed our current perception and feelings toward ourselves and Other. These energies are held as players in our Grand Play. We get to go back to the playground of our youth and use that free imagination to re-member our selves back into Wholeness. However, this quest is full of facing our deepest wounds and our darkest sides, in many realms of our interdimensional existence.

We are not out to battle them, defeat them, or deal with our “shit”. We are meant to outfit ourselves with the power of Love and go find these wounded, scared, angry, and powerful parts of ourselves. They are the real target of our INtentions. We go find their stories and see how they have manifested themselves in our lives. It is a real-life soap opera right inside of us. Though the point is to heal the suffering and eventually end the long-running show.

You are much grander and joyful than you may be currently feeling in this current consciousness. Turning the gaze and quest inward is a remarkable journey that, when leaned into and deepened, can provide the Next Level of your passion, purpose, and both inner and outer romance. As we each make our way, we all make our way.
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If you have not taken in Jelelle Awen’s 33 Day series, I would highly recommend it. It is the springboard for your own inner quest. It is better than Netflix because you are the writer, director, and star of the show. It can provide a lot of awareness to what may have been hidden or just plain afraid to face. As you follow the journey there will be checkpoints along the way to digest all you have taken in. There are two group meetings over Zoom scheduled for Janurary 12 and February 2. You can access this series on her page or on our YouTube channel here:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvLiLpw1qSOmQE-tsqhGSAD3&fbclid=IwAR0TxtgJfEYn206g83GiaCFctfCk0Z10XxTS0DUPM670JIJZYUpW83IaTHI

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Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

New Year Energies Offer New Relationship Within

“It is not freedom from pain,suffering, or despair that you seek, but rather a relationship to it.”

This is a reiteration of a message I received last year at this time that has come back to illuminate itself to me once more. In working with others and recalling my own past movements, there were pivotal moments where the merging with the heavy and the dark seemed almost inescapable. We were one.

Fortunately, I had an other heart and soul that stayed connected to me energetically so that I could have the courage and lifeline to just stay one ounce bigger than the feeling itself. It was not about transcending it but rather holding and relating to it as an aspect of myself, one that just felt like it was me.

I just had the beautiful blessing to offer that to another through email and energy exchange. It is hard to feel another in deep need and being asked for some relief. It is obviously natural to want to help the alleviation. However, something sacred is short-circuited in the process.

It is about advocating for this part of us, the Dark One, to be held by our human heart. It is about being okay with not being okay. It is about just trying to feel yourself in the room with it. The more you can show up for it, in whatever capacity, the more they feel willing to let go and lean in.

This is not an easy process. It can feel scary and uncertain. Yet feeling the Love of Other, in what ever form that may take, gives that one ounce separation needed to give rise to this relationship.

The Dark One has a name. It has a story. It has a need and a gift. As the moon energies approach in the month of January, they may illuminate this energy inside. I feel them supporting the connection and the remembrance of this being into your consciousness. It is a brand new way to be WITH the pain rather than merging with it. That is a hero’s journey.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.