Art As A Mirror And A Doorway Into The Heart And Soul

Bringing outside what lives inside can be the beginning of a vast exploration of the myriad energies that make up the wholeness of You.

The picture below was done during a time (around 2014 I think) when I was feeling a deep depression that felt almost immovable. While I was in it I feel like I needed to get it out rather than letting it envelop me. I can remember the feeling of barely getting the paper on the table and grabbing the charcoal stick. It needed to be charcoal because it looked just like I felt. Dark and grey.

I remember having no clue what I wanted to draw and just let the feeling travel from my heart to my hands and it translated to a swirl of grey in the center. I was swirling on the inside so it matched. Then it got darker and darker. I smudged the charcoal because that is what I felt like too…smudged. As I stared at the picture a began to feel how I was in this tunnel like environment, on the inside looking out. Wanting to feel something different than what I was feeling. Wanting to feel lighter. Freer. Less confined and dismal.

Then as I felt this energy leaving my being and bleeding its way onto the paper, I felt to draw the figure sitting on the floor of this tunnel staring out. Looking…watching…waiting. I could feel this being as different than me at that moment. He was me and not me at the same time. He was a part or aspect of me that felt this way. He was looking for someone to connect with him so he didn’t feel so hopeless. This is when the depression became not who I was, but held by a part of me that had a story and a reason.

This act spurred on other pictures that were not all that detailed. They were simple yet had emotional substance and a reality held by something inside of me that was not all of me. It became less about depression and more about self-discovery. The sunrise of curiosity was breaching the infinite ocean of despair and I had a relationship to it….to him, or maybe it was always Her. My hidden and disowned feminine wanting to be claimed by her King. Either way, it changed my relationship both emotionally and physically to my depression.

Even if you don’t fancy yourself an ‘artist’ the act of moving something on paper, canvass, or computer screen, can open a doorway to your heart and soul that invites a relationship, a curiosity, and a compassion. This is more than just art therapy, but a beginning to discovering the lost and hidden aspects of what and who you really are in both the shadow and the light. It moves from the paper back into You in a whole new way that doesn’t just provide relief but a new consciousness that can lift you into new technicolor timelines.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Feeling Your Desires, Letting Go Of ‘Settling’

By Kalayna Colibri

I’ve never felt very personally drawn to the sense that eliminating all of your desires is the path to true happiness. It’s in genuinely feeling our unhappiness because we don’t quite have what we desire that we set ourselves up for our next process of embodying the change we want to experience. Feeling desires does not have to feel like torture, though parts of you may relate to it that way. It’s not about over-stretching yourself into a pretzel to try and “make” something happen, either… though a phase of feeling yourself do this may be necessary for you.

This process doesn’t eliminate the need to feel gratitude. It’s actually a marriage of gratitude for what you’ve had and experienced and even letting in a mourning process of what you’re feeling to let go of, and a sense that you’re ready to move on now, that becomes the process of drawing in your next timeline.

As Raphael Awen has said many times, “the way you leave is the way you enter”. This lands quite deeply for me as I choose my next desires to pursue and let them land deeply in my heart too. There are things that I want, but more importantly, there are experiences of myself and also of others that I want, that are driving me onward into letting in more of what I truly want at this time.

I know so well the rumble that feeling the gap between what you want and want you have now creates in your being and your life. I have experienced over and over again the process of letting go while also holding on to that picture and feeling-experience that lives inside of you that tells you want is truly possible and invites you to feel all there is to feel about that.

This can become a scary process, especially if it is your first time navigating big changes or shifts, or if you’ve been through big changes before but want to move through it all differently now. It takes great courage to move through your timelines and into the unknown. This may feel natural to some parts of you, but completely unnatural and maybe undesirable to other parts of you.

If Ascension is anything though, it’s a letting go of the need to know and feeling all reactions there are to the not-knowing. We cannot ‘know’ our way through this Ascension process, only be with the unknowns of it and feel ourselves walking all of that out. This is the invitation of change and inner-rumble… this is the path to that which you’ve been most deeply aching for.

What are the desires you have for your experience of yourself, love, life, Ascension? What are you willing to move through in order to have and embody what you desire? Can you feel the parts of you that have a push-pull around letting that in?

It IS possible to hold what you want with a growing maturity and willingness to stumble through some darkness… and it IS imminent, that your desires are leading you to the happiness you crave beyond any previous ‘settling’ you may have been ok with for a while, and the fulfillment of everything your soul has signed up for. ❤️

~

My beloveds, Jelelle, Raphael and Gabriel all offer exquisite space holding sessions if you’re curious to ride this unknown horse of your desires more deeply into the next sunrise of your life: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session ❤️

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart co-founder, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Exploring And Feeling The Wounded Feminine Within A Man’s Heart

I feel a sacred journey arising for myself in a renewed journey into my emotional body, more specifically around my inner masculine and feminine polarities. There is a depth of wonder and wound that is at the heart of it. To not go there in my opinion and personal experience, is to miss something profound in our evolution as humans. The emotional body houses our human experience, the ‘data collector’ of our soul’s exploration.

Currently, I am feeling my inner feminine in relation to my inner masculine energy. To fully engage in this relationship as a Man with this Woman can be a bit of a roller coaster. It turns things on its head in regards to how She has related to parts of my life. Was She part of the early rage I experienced as a child? What did She feel about my family, my friends, my jobs, my mates? What does want and need from me as my inner feminine? Who She is and what She wants is a huge part of who I am as a man. Really? Yeah, man, I feel it deeply.

There is a huge elephant in the collective room between the masculine and feminine as expressed in the physical between men and women. There are fascinating mirrors all around us when we engage in this aspect of shadow work that is meant to illuminate, heal, and integrate. This IS spiritual work. This is a deep, powerful awakening into our sacred humanity. The polarity can only be made truly whole by feeling the poles in their wounds and needs.

The feminine in men and women alike is like a genie in a bottle. It has been repressed, suppressed, sequestered, and protected. It holds the imprint of so many those that have been the most intimate to us in our lives such as mothers, sisters, relatives, friends, mates, etc. I am connecting to my feminine through the template of my sister that I have not explored deeply before. It is a fascinating exploration that is illuminating so much about my relationship to life, love, and relationship to others.

For men and women, this offers a profound brave new world that has effects in all areas of our lives. Most intimately it is the relationship we hold within ourselves where this is illuminated the most. As men (as well as the masculine in women), we have tended to negate our inner sensitivity and beauty which is really our inner feminine feeling that of herself. She holds that gift and has not been fully able to feel that from our masculine heart to hers. As her story unfolds, and her needs met, we are given a new look into what makes us truly masculine (and feminine too!). I will continue to write more about what I experience as well as what I get from the beautiful souls that I am serving that are on their own inner gender healing quest. Stay tuned…She is ready to be heard and seen.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Healing Your Relationship To Depression: SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter (Aug 27, 2018)

It’s the release of our weekly Museletter! Offering ALL of our writings, videos, events, healing offerings, and audio blogs for the week. Go read it here!

This week, SoulFullHeart teacher and Facilitator, Gabriel Heartman, penned a piece about relating to what you may have been calling your ‘depression’ for many years now, in a different way. He offers that working with the parts of you that feel and hold the depression gives you a new way to feel about it and a profound way to heal it deeply:

“It is time to treat it as an ally and a guide. A dynamic that is happening inside of you. Not ignoring it, but de-energizing the power of the word itself. It is a series and sum of feelings that have been balled up into a density that is extremely heavy. But when related to differently and with a willingness to feel those individual parts of it, will you then be able to get beyond its gravitational pull and into what it is meant to offer you.”

A few new writings are offered this week from Raphael and Jelelle Awen, Kalayna Colibri, and Gabriel Heartman, that digest current energy waves, sacred community, the ways in which we can relate to ourselves and our parts, and different ways to think about your spiritual and healing path.

You’ll find several new audio blog recordings as well.

Raphael, Jelelle and Gabriel offer 1:1 90min Bridging Sessions to help boost and digest your Ascension process and feel with you what your next steps are towards your highest timeline possibilities. These sessions are available for $77 USD min. donation per session. More information can be found here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

We love to share our offerings with you and would enjoy to receive whatever heart donation in the form of money you feel that resonates with our offerings. You can go to our donation page for more info on how to donate: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Way of Life! If you’d like to receive these Museletters directly and automatically in your email every week, you can subscribe on our website at: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/writingmuseletters

Check out the latest Museletter here.

Masculine Ascending: The Journey Of Finding Our True Man’s Heart

I have been spending some time taking in some deep reflections about my relationship to my own emotional body and its effect on my personal ascension process. Before I began this inner work, my emotional body would move from Zen-like peace to bouts of inner punishment, depression, and anxiety followed by a fifth of Scotch. I was the guy with “so much potential” in relationships and never fully getting what that meant.

As I have come to realize over the years, it was always and ever about being real with what I was feeling, expressing what my truth was regardless of where it came from. So many castles built on sand and a part of me (my protector) trying like hell to maintain that he was on solid ground. Of course, the tides of real love are always there to remind us of this precarious situation.

As a man, this relationship to the emotional body is what I truly feel is the ground of our healing, maturation, and ascension. I can feel how parts of me could use the spiritual ascension as a romantic escape from the real work of going into the heart of my humanity, even the core of my soul in its darkest moments. As men (and I include the masculine in women), we have a collective knack of holding a lot of deep pain in the recesses of our heart. The true man is the one that is willing and desiring to face his stuff, treat it with compassion, and let in the depths of his impact, or even lack thereof.

I am still on that True Man journey. Moving through one fear, resistance, vulnerability at a time. We are all in different stages of that journey, none any more or less than the other. We have others to look toward as models and reflections of what it is we feel we want and can be. They are not ‘ahead’, just doing the work. Even as that work can feel like a black hole at times, the strength of our manhood is not found in a desire to escape, but a willingness to FEEL. A knowingness that the hole is not who we are, but where we come from. It is a sacred part of what makes us humanely divine.

Men have a much different process than women in regards to emotional ascension. We have experiences and legacies that have their own unique variables and responses. We hold a collective piece of all that is manifesting in the world and we hold the key to that Great Change that our inner warriors are fighting for, or even running from. I offer my heart in service to that True Man journey through this inner work called SoulFullHeart. I have crossed my own rubicons and met my own fears. I continue to do so as an infinite unfolding, not as a suffering loop. A much different perspective energetically. The power of being in a one-to-one, and one-to-many relationship that forges a new man, a true man, and a heart man.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

The Letting Go’s And Letting In’s Of Birthing Your Highest Calling

When you make a claim for your highest calling, the universe conspires in your favor. However, that doesn’t always mean that favor will be easy for parts of you. On the path and journey to that highest place within, we will inevitably be asked to feel things we have been avoiding to feel. To let go of things that we have been afraid to let go of. And let in the love that parts of us are not used to or prepared for.

If being and serving Love is our highest calling then we are meant to be challenged in ways that don’t resonate with what a part of us has been attached to. We may be called to question our motivations, our habits, our relationships, and even our dreams. This is a very deconstructive process that reconditions us into a new altitude of experience that can be very hard to acclimate to. These parts of us, the energy in us that is still understandably attached to a story or picture, are being asked to let go of all that has been held sacred and comforting. There are no sacred cows left untouched in this process. It is ongoing until we have made the choices that reflect this higher calling on a consistent basis and it becomes a way of life to keep choosing, keep feeling, keep healing.

Every choice creates the life circumstances we are needing to feel, learn, and grow from. Those choices are made by the prevailing winds inside of us, be it fear or love. The question for some can be, what is the difference? That can be a muddied one if we don’t feel the differing energies inside of us and have a way to separate from them in a conscious way. This is the process of parts work and the gift that is bestowed in helping to sort out that question.

If you feel these rumblings, contortions, and differing energies inside of you, they are messages from your Higher Self to feel and heal these lower energies so that they may transmute and integrate into your most joyous and purposeful timeline on New Earth. They are birth pangs and they can hurt like hell. They can be scary and really overwhelming. This is the Quickening and you are being called to answer and choose. It is challenging but also very self-loving when we let the process take us where we are being asked to go. Only your authority will direct you there when you are ready

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Healing Your Relationship To Depression

The words that are used to describe our emotional states can be held by parts of you as a way to actually not feel the very thing that the words are meant to express. Take “I am depressed” or “I have depression”. If words are waveform energy, then there is a collective binding to that word. You are not only experiencing a parts relationship to depression but the depression of all of those that have used that word. Of course, a part of you wouldn’t want you to feel all of that! Or the word can be used to judge or confine true and real emotion, which is can be a masculine part doing that to a feminine part, both in men and women.

Positive affirmations are meant to act as a refocusing, however, the feelings and parts that are associated with the ‘depression’ are then just moved to the side or sequestered/banished into shadow again. Letting go of the word for a moment and just feeling what those feelings are all about, with curiosity and compassionate understanding can lead to a whole new world inside of you. This is a negotiation with what we call the Inner Protector. It has a lot to say about going into this Depression. The images that come up with that word can be quite epic and overwhelming. There are layers of things to feel that make up the totality of this word.

It is time to treat it as an ally and a guide. A dynamic that is happening inside of you. Not ignoring it, but de-energizing the power of the word itself. It is a series and sum of feelings that have been balled up into a density that is extremely heavy. But when related to differently and with a willingness to feel those individual parts of it, will you then be able to get beyond its gravitational pull and into what it is meant to offer you.

It holds your creativity, your muse, your lost/forgotten connection to the Divine, and your inner Sacred Union. This is a negotiated process that has no silver bullet other than opening your heart, feeling what needs to be felt, one part at a time. My beloveds and I offer ourselves as guides in that exploration when you are ready to turn the depression into something new.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Full/New Moon Brings Divine Feminine Healing Balm

By Kalayna Colibri

Since this year’s Lion’s Gate portal event and all of these eclipses, it has seemed as if some things have become a bit more chaotic than usual, maybe. At least for some. It’s the chaos of life intensifying in some ways perhaps, in order to reflect the chaos inside. It’s the flurry of sudden life changes that are either desired or not, that reflect to you where you truly are in your healing and Ascension journey.

This last full moon has felt like a coming full-circle around inner process and understanding outer conditions and circumstances… why you’ve drawn what you have and chosen what you’ve chosen, consciously and unconsciously. The energy of this moon has felt like a welcome healing balm from the feminine. A chance to feel the dust settling now amidst the upturning of so much… a chance to feel how you truly are a phoenix now rising humbly from the ashes of all that has had to burn and be let go of.

The process of feeling the layers of who you’ve thought yourself to be is forever a humbling one and yet an activation too. Peeling back the layers of window-dressing, self-image concerns and construction, and finding who you are in your heart is a process of feeling the parts of you that have been invested in the hiding of your truest light. In this discovery of another authentic layer of you, there’s an automatic and unavoidable activation of your 5D/Service-of-Love Self. This is something that can’t be put on or certified, but lived and loved into.

If you find yourself and parts of you looking around at what has crumbled or has been in the process of crumbling recently in your life, the invitation from these feminine healing balm energies is to feel and trust how this process has been and is necessary… that nothing you are meant for can ever be truly lost, though this is so hard to feel in the middle of it all. The feminine can be felt through any face of the Divine Mother that resonates for you, and She in any and all forms is holding you now and always, making space for you and inviting you to make space for Her, for You, for Love.

Much love to you as you continue your own journey on this path into and through your deepest awakening experiences, which can feel like a fire in your living room… you are yet alive, you are always loved, and you are meant for all of those “mores” you have ever dreamed of… ❤️

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart co-founder, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Remembering With Love The Sacred Forgetting

Vision is the remembrance of the reality of infinite possibility. Love is what gives it life.

This past week has been a rumbling inside of me. A soupy pretzel of parts and Metasoul aspects that are coming to the surface to be felt and held. Another layer of healing and self-realization occurring as ascension waves continue to ‘bear’ down on us (pun intended). It can be a bit to be with at times but when you have a way to be with it, then it is all about giving love and space to what needs your attention the most, one felt day at a time. The wounds that arise as we ascend are like bubbles that come from the cracks in our heart and soul. They are the way home to our essence of BE-ing, our wholeness.

I took in two movies with my beloved Kalayna and felt a deep awareness inside of myself that was heartache and revelation both. The photo below signifies what I was feeling after watching the new Christopher Robin and a surprising Tomorrowland. I felt another layer of my own remembrance of childhood and how, especially with the masculine, so much was hidden away and forgotten about the magic of innocence. Coupled with the parallel Earth in Tomorrowland, and its message of imagination over knowledge really hit home of how much we have all been living with something that is of our own making.

The two tied together for me my own relationship to my star family wounding and how embedded it is in the childhood/teenage years. The emotional body holds the pain in the Now. It never went away, just like Winnie and Gang never left Christopher Robin, or Tomorrowland was always right there for those who were willing to dream beyond what was considered ‘possible’.

There is a significance in it for me as I continue to unfold, heal, and arise anew into a masculine that is willing to feel all there is to feel on the way back to our sacred leadership. What we have all been willing and able to deal with and accept energetically is a gift from our protectors, but there also lies a sadness that it had to be that way. To feel this sadness as deeply as it lives in us, and offer it the space and love necessary to transmute into joy, wisdom, and the courage for our next steps is the sacred reason why we are here.

We all have the gift of vision. Of sacred sight as a birthright. It lets us see beyond what we are and what we have been. We have the gift of heart to feel the depths of what kept us in the dark which in turn gives life to the very things parts of us never imagined we could ever be and have. This is the alchemical process of coming home to yourself as a bridge between worlds. I send an invite for you to join me on that journey.

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Pole Shift Happens Within

What seemed right-side up is now becoming upside down, and what was outside-in is now becoming inside out. This is the inner pole shift happening to our emotional and spiritual consciousness.

In the process of healing, growth, and awakening there is a flipping of all that we had once held so dear. That which made sense is no longer feeling that way anymore. Something else is in its birthing yet it has not totally popped into our waking reality. As our inner shift is tuning into the planetary and galactic shift, there is some rumbling of the inner tectonic plates of our being we call parts and Metasoul aspects. It is like a marble jar is being flipped upside down and they are colliding with each other.

This can be actually consciously held and even instigated on purpose. Right now the biggest shift seems to be happening with relationships with other as you may be experiencing an exiting of an old orbit and entering a new one, yet not sure of the textures and ‘rules’ of the new one.

Feeling the attachments both energetic and emotional from parts of you, you can begin a new relationship to yourself that is meant to usher in a new inner calibration to a world that is far different than the one you are in or leaving. One that is closer to the You that you thought you were or could ever imagine yourself to be. This does not occur without major changes happening. The question is whether we are going to consciously and self-lovingly aid in the process, or do we go through it in suffering.

In the process of parts work, you can feel where the upside-down is really your right-side up and by turning your INside out through intimately getting to know your inner world and how they experience this ongoing ride called Ascension.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.