Category: Ascension

More Questions Than Answers: The Sacred And Necessary Journey Through 4D Into 5D Consciousness

Published on by Kasha Rosa3 Comments

Painting: ‘Unknown Terrain’ by Andrew Hem

by Kalayna Colibri

As we continue to move through 4D and find our way into 5D reality here on Gaia, there are so many more questions than answers, and there is a knowingness inside that hindsight truly is 20/20… meaning, sometimes we don’t and can’t know exactly what’s going on or where we’re heading until we’ve gotten there. There is a surmounting, ever-unfolding journey we are undertaking, fraught with mystery and entwined with conundrums. You find and claim one answer after another, only to ’round another corner and find another existential crisis awaits…

This is the experience of parts of us on this Ascension path. This is the experience within our Metasoul too and perhaps especially since there is so much karma held there, so many stories of other timelines and even galaxies and the happenings there. What is felt and experienced to be ‘the truth’ in one moment is then negated the next because of new discoveries within and in the world at large, too. There is so much mystery in this process of moving and ascending UPward, so much we cannot understand with our limited human energetic and verbal vocabulary, as it is right now. No wonder so many attempt to ‘figure out’ answers based in what their minds can learn. The heart though, the sacred, awakening and arising human heart, which is at the epicenter of our Ascension as a species, cannot learn through books and teachings alone and needs to experience… needs to feel… needs to let in and let go, too. So many answers are being revealed, starting from the inside, yet they need to be encouraged and supported from outside sources as well. Others who are walking this path alongside you. This is not meant to be an entirely lone wolf-based phase, this time of our Ascension. We are meant to do this together, be this together, find and feel the answers together, even if/when there is contention along the way, often held by parts or Metasoul Aspects of us not ready to let go into their truest vulnerability yet.

There is so much to learn. And are parts of us OK with not knowing our way through to this learning? This has been tricky to feel in this still predominantly patriarchal-based world and dimension, as the mind has been a prized possession and trophy, a sign of worth and power, for men and women alike. Over-reasoning has led parts of us down paths of deep hatred and fear, or a complete bypassing of much emotion at all. And then sometimes the mind gets a bad rap altogether, instead of being loved UP like any other part of our being and brought into our Ascension picture along with us. The mind is still needed, just perhaps not so relied upon, as its scope of the truthiest truths is limited at best.

The truth of Ascension lives at a personal level. It starts there like a seed, only to germinate with the right about of air, space, love. It grows with the questions, the navigation of choppy lower-4D waters, into the upper-4D flowing seas. It sways in the winds of new directions to go in, new places and parts to feel within, new physical geographies to inhabit. It is forever shifting, just as we are and are meant to. How we enter these phases of deep questioning and discernment is a show of active choice points and a foray into the unknown wilds of our human hearts which are at the core of our deepest healing processes and enlightenment/enHEARTenment opportunities.

And so, onward and UPward we continue, with all of our questions still burning brightly in the headlights and fuel tanks of our personal Merkabahs, somehow shining the way  and moving us along still, even if we can’t ever be totally sure where we are going… though it seems too, that as we inhabit even these difficult states of 4D-being and the reality of this for parts of us and move into 5D more and more, the questions become less important than the pure remembering that in the end, the details and ‘answers’ to our questions and quandaries matter far less than the return to our pure and deep understanding and kNOWingness, that we are now and will always ever be LOVE embodied in Sacred Human form. And reaching this state (even if it only lasts for moments at a time at first!) makes all of the journeying, all of the prior perplexed-ness so completely worth it. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Going Yin: Writing A New Constitution From Within

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

So much unhealed masculine taking front stage in the collective. Maybe no more or less than in the past. It is just becoming so obvious in all the geopolitical rhetoric and turmoil. The Right vs. The Wrong. The Ahead vs. The Left Behind. The Truth vs. The Fake. It is wreaking its own havoc in the emotional and spiritual bodies of all that participate. I used to be so deeply involved in the daily mill of the Info Wars. I used to listen to talk radio programs that would send out a barrage of rage and abomination. I would end my days in my own swirl of undigested fear and anger.

This could have only happened because it reflected something in me. I was attracted to the war which parts of me were waging inside. In my disgust of all things political, there was the same disgust going on in me. This was one of the single biggest awakenings for me in my journey.

I needed to meet my inner Bully Pulpit led by the Majority Whip known as my Inner Punisher. They all existed in me…and if you feel a rage against the machine, they exist in you as well. This is an ongoing process of feeling your own personal shadow that leads to a shift in the inner workings of your emotive governance. Pulling out of the din of the 24 news cycle was a much needed Motion that allowed me to feel the reality of this landing in my consciousness and heart.

I write this as the wounded masculine finds Itself a prime candidate in a presidential role. For this is actually a gift. We get to stare right in the face of what is left unhealed in our collective heart. This is exemplified not just in the U.S., but in many countries around the world. It is a spiritual thermometer, and we have a fever.  

As those on the leading edge of a Great Shift, we have an opportunity to help heal this one by taking responsibility for our own healing. Our own rewriting of an Inner Constitution that raises the bar on what it means to have power WITH and not OVER. These power struggles all occur on the inside first. They are tender and delicate in their root. They are an abused and neglected child. A son or daughter in desperate need for a father who could love them and initiate them into a world of integrity and vulnerability. This rewrites HIStory and merges with HERstory.

Going Yin is as much a political movement as it is a spiritual journey.  It invites all of us to feel our own roles, our own misappropriations, as well as a compassion for ourselves and others. It invites us to heal ourselves out of the old and into something not new, just forgotten. We have access to our own Higher Council that lives on a completely different ground yet the same floor. I choose to be a part of this new masculine reLOVEution in the spirit of what it means to be kings of a sacred humanity.  I hope you will join me.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Energy Update: Gaia’s Energies Calling For Geography Shifts To Reflect Your Inner Transformations

Published on by Jelelle Awen2 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

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Gaia is broadcasting BEacons out at all times. Gaia is a grounded frequency of Divine Mother that is just in our DNA and in our cells, easily activated because we are so naturally tuned into Her as our ‘home’ bandwidth. The tones and frequencies of these broadcasts land in your heart and soul at the right time of Divine Align for you as navigated by your Higher Self. In this current phase of Divine Feminine energy upgrades, Gaia is one of the MAIN ways that these are being delivered to us…along with moon activations.

As Gaia’s planetary consciousness ascends truly out of 3D and into 4D and beyond, Her energy lines or ‘ley’ lines vibrate higher…..just like our chakras and energy centers do too. She unanchors from the lower frequency grids connected to our collective consciousness and into the crystalline grids. Where She before has been hostess to our 3D experiment together, She is now shifting her home playing field to a higher frequency.

There is a deep invitation from Gaia to us to come WITH Her. It is not that she is ‘shaking us off like fleas’ as others have offered, yet, rather, She invites those souls who are in readiness and alignment to ascend with Her. She is not against us…..if you have experienced the sense of being deeply held by nature (especially during deep emotional movements), then you recognize this sense of Her complete support for your awakening into your Higher Heart. The ‘damage’ and abuses to Her from so much 3D density expression from humanity’s shadow are forgiven already……and were ultimately Her choice to experience as well. Now, we are being invited to rise above this abusive and polarized frequency that comes from INSIDE ourselves, so that we can then treat Gaia too with the respect and reverence that She deserves.

Her forgiveness is expressed in the offering of connection to Her geographies that most serve us as we show the way and lead the ascension process for ourselves, firstly. We are invited to ask ourselves: which geographies most support my soul growth? Which geographies are a reflection of my Higher Self coming into my body? Which geographies allow me to truly SERVE LOVE as my highest purpose here?

As you tune into these questions, the answers may surprise you. The answers may come in dreams, in synchronicities, during meditations, through connections with sacred union romance and soul family. The answers come, ultimately, in LOVE….meaning, LOVE is the very best reason there is for changing your geography. If you are falling in love with someone and it feels like a sacred union and they currently live far away from where you do…..love may be asking you to move to be with them to serve the love between you and for yourself. If you are drawn to a particular soul family community or spiritual group and their geography is different from yours, love may be asking you to eventually move to be near them to receive the huge GIFTS that come from being near and in a resonant community. If you have repeatedly been drawn to vacation to a particular place for many years, love may be inviting you to live there as your daily reality now that you have acclimated to its higher frequencies through visits.

It can be an interesting exploration to feel into WHY you are in the current geography that you are in. Is it tied to previous connections to birth family or 3D based relationships that you are no longer as drawn to? Is it about convenience, safety, and remaining in comfort zones? Is your Inner Protector wanting to keep you ‘safe’ in a lower frequency geography to limit your awakening process because they are concerned about the next places that you might open up to and remember and inhabit? Are parts of you tied into 3D ideas of mortgages, and ‘set’ geographies out of fear? Is remaining in your current geography keeping you in a romantic relationship that no longer resonates with your heart and soul and vice versa? What does your current geography REFLECT about you and parts of you?

Sometimes people feel that they are guardians over a particular piece of land, to serve Gaia, and decide to stay there even if they are consciously unhappy there. This can feel and be a form of self sacrifice that is actually unnecessary on another level. Gaia has offered to me that She is JUST FINE….meaning, She doesn’t need us to anchor anything at all for Her sake. If we choose to connect to particular geographies and grids that is about us and our process (such as exploring the questions I raised above) rather than about serving Her.

In our SoulFullHeart Community, we are being called to relocate from Mexico to the Glastonbury, U.K. area in the next six months. We’ve been connecting with Avalon as a fourth dimensional timeline for a few years, so the heart chakra energy of the Tor and other spaces is very familiar and comforting. I write about the shamanic visits that I engaged with to Avalon in my book, Keep Waking Up! soulfullheartwayoflife.com/books. Europe as a whole calls us to explore, to experience geographies that trigger Metasoul/other lifetime timelines, to feel and to heal with Gaia as the loving catalyst for it, to offer retreats and seminars serving love through SoulFullHeart there. It feels like the money, means, sorting out details will find its way as our desires for this shift bake inside us as a group……creating a group merkabah fueled by love and desire that allows us to ‘travel’ there.

Our external geographies are a reflection of our internal landscapes. As our inner shifts so, then, will our outer. This may lead to an even more nomadic life phase that is about being ‘called’ to certain places for your own healing process that allows you to serve more love…..and then moving on to the next. Being drawn to spaces that bring out your service of love self and support your energetic growth. Being around other souls in community that resonate with you too. Being on landscapes, inside and out, that reflect the love that you ARE.

~

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Re-Discovering And Loving The Buried Parts Within

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

Many years ago… I could not have told you that ‘becoming more feminine’ was my goal or intention. I grew up with an older sister who rebelled against femininity and wanted to be like her. I wanted to be friends with the guys that weren’t attracted to me, so at least I could have some way to be close to them regardless, to experience a connection with the opposite gender. I say ‘I’ here because before I was aware that I had ‘parts’ of me running the show of my life, ‘I’ was all ‘I’ had as a reference point for the dramas and desires and pain.

When I was very little, however, I wanted only to wear dresses. I liked big frilly ones with flowers. I liked my pretty shoes and white tights. I especially loved going to ballet class as a 5-year-old and being able to wear the pink skirt that represented my level over top of my leotard. I loved being called a ‘lady’ and would have fantasies about being in ‘princess training’. This was all before messaging of ‘being a girl means you’re weak’ or ‘incapable’ started to leak in and take over. This was before parts of me started to form as a casing, an ever-hardening shell over my natural sensitivity and blooming pre-womanhood. The dresses got put away. The tights could no longer be worn without holes being made in them almost immediately – a symbol, I’m realizing, of my young torn-ness between gender expressions. Skirts didn’t fit or feel right either, and I felt very self-conscious in them. Something was shifting out of wanting to be a girl to wanting to be related to, to be made friends with, to be able to somehow find comfortability in any social situation even if that meant being more like a ‘boy’ in some ways. I stopped feeling ‘pretty’ when I was quite young and thus I stopped trying to be, at least until high school.

I remember all of this in this very moment, especially as I feel a part of me that is my Inner Masculine. I feel how this is a story from him about how he came to be and how he began to form as an Inner Patriarch, coaching and teaching my other parts how to become more masculine in order to survive if not thrive in this world of 3D. I feel the tears of my suppressed, albeit quite young aspect of my Inner Feminine, who it feels like has some pain coming up in response to this… these feelings of being ‘girly’, which was more in my true nature, being deemed ‘not good enough’ so early in my life.

I share this story today because it feels like the story that belongs to so many of us… a story of genuine self-expression, of authentic sensitivity. Unless and until we can begin to feel the parts of us that have (had to) come up in response to life and more often than not, bury or try to dismiss what is actually TRUE about us, it doesn’t really feel possible to feel the layers here and to get to exactly what has been buried for so many ‘years’.

I feel like this extends far beyond authentic gender expression, so much as just what is authentically in our hearts. I feel the richness of a genuine experience of what the sacred masculine and feminine ARE, that can only really be experienced from within, not from other people’s ideas of what it is or is not… in either case when it comes to the masculine and the feminine, we are having to re-learn so much and deeply feel much more.

We have the courage to venture deeper into our own healing, ever-discovering more and more of what has been suppressed within our most inner caverns of what has always wanted to show us the most authentic us we have been waiting and working to BE… and it’s up to us when and if we are ready to lead him/her/them out of the shadows and into the light where they can breathe and play and be themselves again… and this time, without anyone telling them they have to stop being who and what they truly are. ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Ascension Process Reveals Hollywood’s Shadow, The Pain, And The Potential Healing

Published on by Jelelle Awen2 Comments
 By Jelelle Awen
I didn’t watch the Oscar’s last night as I don’t have television and haven’t for many years. I was tracking it though as these kinds of events are a good marker and sign of how the ongoing disclosure and Ascension process is playing out in mainstream consciousness. I’m not sure if Hollywood is really ‘mainstream’ though as it feels more like 4D….in a ‘bubble’ of pretended realities, alternative dimensions made up by the imagination/third eye, isolated and insular with wealth and influence that most of us can only imagine. It has felt like a castle up on a hill shrouded in glittery clouds that us ‘common people’ get to go visit on ‘special’ occasions when the King and Queen allow.
Part of me used to track celebrity gossip, relationships, behind the scenes dynamics for many years. I feel it was a replacement for a sense of lacking glamour in my own life. It was a way to project onto ‘celebrities’ all the ways that parts of me felt ordinary, boring, and my daily life to be unglamorous. It was also an anchor to a lower 4D reality that I was increasingly moving out of. I also have always had a very rich imagination and third eye capacities to create scenarios and communicate with spirit guides and Higher Selves, so I would project scenes and play them out in my bedroom during my childhood….just as I feel actors do too.
Actors may mostly be pre-awakening, and yet, too, they are not exactly anchored to 3D reality in so many ways. Their acted-out scenes probably feel more ‘real’ to them than everyday reality. Their characters represent parts of themselves that may be in shadow or more suppressed. They bring in and channel Metasoul frequencies from other timelines to play the archetypal roles of the King, Queen, and Warrior. I think parts of me could relate with this torn-ness, sensitivity, and desire to transcend the ordinary. I could relate to these feelings that what is imagined is more REAL than what is presented as reality….and it seems many people can too.
3D is ultimately dissatisfying to the soul. It is MEANT to be, as a temporary experimental consciousness that we are ‘trying on’ for awhile to see how it fits us. For those of us awakening out of it, 3D reality has never been ‘enough’ and we’ve found ways to compensate for that…sometimes in ways that are healthy for us and many times in ways that may not be. Hollywood feels to me like a big compensation for 3D……a lower 4D reality with its own play outs of heavens and hells. Its own versions of Dark Nights and Awakenings. Not just on the big screens either, yet, now, dramas and traumas in the back rooms and the boardrooms and the ‘casting couches.’
The aura of Hollywood glamour and seeming ‘untouchability’ has been permanently pierced with the Metoo and Time’s Up movements. The emotional immaturity and polarization between the masculine and feminine (that exist in our collective consciousness and within each of us) is revealing the underbelly of itself in increasingly bright lights. The veil is lifting to show the inner monsters that need our love and forgiveness. The spotlight is shifting to illuminate the pain that can no longer be ignored. And even those who have been more pretenders than authentic are HAVING to get more real as outrage replaces complacency; honesty replaces politeness; uniqueness replaces conforming; feeling replaces suppression.
Some actors (such as in the photo) are now becoming more ‘famous’ for what they are willing to be vulnerable and honest about in their real life experiences than what they have portrayed on screen. That THIS is becoming more interesting and touching to more people is a good sign of our collective ache to FEEL. This is a phase of outrage and anger, yet, eventually, it feels like it will move inward to compassion and forgiveness of the wounded masculine that abuses, punishes, and manipulates inside of us and therefore expresses on the outside.
What is shaking up in Hollywood feels to me as a sign of the ongoing Ascension process. It may not be as obvious as what is transforming in your inner and outer worlds as a soul who is in a further along phase. Yet, it still shows that ALL of us are being impacted by these influxes of love and light energies….even those seemingly so removed from it all in their isolated and seemingly more superficial worlds. ALL of us are being invited to be real, to feel, and to heal with love available to support the personal and the collective disclosures that are necessary to move into the NEW.
~
Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Day 6 ~ Journal To The Demiurge

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

Journal To The Demiurge with Raphael Awen Day 6

By Raphael Awen

(This is Day 6 of an ongoing series, to begin at day 1, go here: https://goo.gl/CgrWXZ)

Raphael: Hello again, Wow, Day 6 all. Upward and onward to the Demiurge, Shall we?

Metatron: We shall.

Raphael: Any check ins, anyone?

Jim: I’ll go.

Raphael: Perfect.

Jim: I was listening and taking in deeply the sharing of your story, Raphael, over the last few days. At times, I was just so overcome with a deep sadness for what I wasn’t able to begin to see or feel with you as it was happening, as you were growing up, or entering adulthood, while I was the one you called ‘dad’. I can so feel now how your draw to the Demiurge came in as a placeholder for what you and I couldn’t find together, and for what your heart needed. I need to say again how deep that sorrow feeling goes. I am so, so sorry, Raphael. You deserved more, and I so short changed myself as well with what I could have known and experienced with you.

Raphael: Thank you, Jim. That goes in, again. Must still be some pieces for us to feel there together. Infinite healing, I guess we could call it. Aside from any labels though, I feel the genuine heart chord you are vibrating at right now and it feels so good. Marvin gets now that I chose all of this on a soul level, but it still touches deeply the wounds felt in 3D. And it opens the heart more too, to feel any and all remorse as often as it comes up, till it’s done, if it’s ever done.

Jim: When I grow up, I want to be like you, Raphael. Thank you everyone for feeling me this morning. I hope I’m not too much, it’s just a bit of a task helping out from the other side.

Raphael: You are never too much, Jim. I’m glad you checked in. Who else is feeling something?

Rhodes: I’m feeling something…

Raphael: Please, Rhodes…

Rhodes: I guess… I’ll just recap what we felt together earlier today, Raphael?

Raphael: I know I’d love to hear it in your words, Rhodes, and it feels so important to this journey we are all undertaking. And to those still catching up with our story, Rhodes is my personal Gatekeeper, who resonates at a much higher frequency than 3D, and holds access to other dimensions. We all have one, or more maybe, and I’m very glad to have Rhodes!

Rhodes: Okay, so, yesterday, what was really coming up for me was a despair, of not feeling that excited about the next evolution in Raphael’s life. This was hard to admit, and I don’t think I’ve ever really let myself feel that before. Anything to try and stay positive. I wasn’t able to hide that feeling though this morning as it got really pushed up while Raphael shared about his journey this life. I can call it ‘his’ journey now, but that’s another recent development too. It has felt like my journey for as long as I can remember up till recently. As I was saying, this despair came up strong and Raphael asked me to just feel it together. I was able to feel, and to even admit that the next big discovery, or realization, which I’ve always been attached to in the past, just felt aimless to me now.

I know we have a God hunger, or a divine hunger, I should call it, that still lives inside, well on the other side of the Demiurge variety that is so much more alive, and so much more meaningful, but I just wasn’t into it somehow. I couldn’t quite feel why, when Raphael said, ‘Maybe, being with me in the way you have been isn’t where or how you’re supposed to be?’. He meant that I’m to be vibrating at a higher, more native frequency, not so invested this intensely in what’s happening or not happening in Raphael’s life. I just let out a great big bunch of heartache tears about then. I’ve been a bit jealous feeling Wayne and Andy take up residence in Golden Earth, coming back and forth as they please, and I know I’m meant to be there and beyond too. It landed in me that there has been a big mission accomplished here that I couldn’t see.

I hope I’m not taking up too much space with all this.

Raphael: We can take up the next four years with this, if we want to Rhodes. The Demiurge has been around a long time and isn’t going anywhere. And what we feel and heal together rumbles all the way, even to the big old pain the Demiurge is carrying around.

Rhodes: That feels good to feel…

Raphael: Actually,.. or maybe I should ask Metatron for input here, instead of trying to channel him. Metatron?

Metatron: Actually…, I was feeling a rumble, Raphael, and Rhodes, what an epic movement and celebration, wow! This is the real deal. This is the quantum healing we’ve been waiting for. My goodness, so many directions to go in at once. Let me take a moment….

The Demiurge has been born of consciousness, as were all of us, you, me, each and every part of us going through an awakening process, being re-membered back to love as you like to say Raphael. Before the awakening and remembering though was a separation, or what felt like a separation, an unavoidable soul birth trauma as Divine allness or oneness became two. All fear has its roots in this experience of what could only be felt at the time as separation from the Divine. All the world’s religions and every spirituality to this day exist in an attempt to address these fears one way or the other, some legitimately, many questionably.

Consciousness expanded itself into duality, from oneness into twoness. Prior to that, there was no such thing as ‘other’. What we are learning now however, and taking all the time we need to in that learning, is that though we were given individuality, or as we were ‘otherized’ into existence, you could say, there still is nothing that is ‘other’ to the divine. Not even the Demiurge for that matter. There is only that which is still awakening to the oneness that was retained in the separation. It’s separation without losing oneness if you can grok that somehow.

Okay, I’m going a bit ‘meta’ here I realize, but that’s my name, Meta-tron. Rhodes, how’s this landing in you? Is it bridging to what you are feeling?

Rhodes: It does, Metatron, on a high level bridging for sure. As I dial it down a few levels, I feel how all of our life dramas are connected to this soul birth trauma as you are calling it, as well as the subsequent awakening and remembering processes. I’ve already been able to feel some pretty big aches in the Metasoul that were bleeding into my reality, and I’m feeling that some of this despair is about wanting to be in my native frequency as I said, but other pieces of it are about unfelt despair in some of my and Raphael’s Metasoul brothers too. It’s going to get interesting feeling and distinguishing all that. So, the situation report for the moment is that I don’t think I am, or necessarily need to be as disinterested in Raphael’s life as I said I was feeling, AND, I still want to spread my wings to much more of my multidimensionality going forward.

Raphael: I’m feeling you have a perspective on all this Merlin…

Merlin: I do, a really nice warm and fuzzy one, that has enough clarity for my liking at the same time. I’m feeling this process for you, Rhodes, is perfectly on time with the journey at hand.

The Demiurge long ago took to reigning in these lower dimensions, but it so doesn’t feel like he is having fun doing it, or that he is in his native frequency being here. I mean, beings that are having fun don’t need that much control, or duty and obligation to keep their deal afloat. It’s so obvious that we are dealing with an unhappy camper who doesn’t know anything different, but wants to, possibly,… at least, I’m hoping that ‘want to’ is dawning on him; that a new deal is possible and his own deeper desires are coming into his awareness. If that’s true, then your awakening, Rhodes, mirrors his, and is just what’s wanting to move through consciousness now.

Raphael: Wow, like even the Demiurge is going through an Ascension process…?

Merlin: …like even the Demiurge is ascending, yes, or being offered Ascension is actually more accurate. Nothing happens outside of free will, but the window for it is ripening big time.

Raphael: Then, I’m feeling how we can’t offer anything that we aren’t deeply experiencing ourselves.

Merlin: Bingo! And if we are picking up on the bigger rumble, that the Demiurge is getting close to being done with his Heavenly Father persona, that’s the only way this ambassadorship will achieve anything. Timing is everything as they say, for us to approach him while we are in possession of something he longs for. Ambassadorships work through beneficial mutual exchange. We can only expect to gain audience with him if we possess something he wants. Your journey, Rhodes, is an excellent example of coming free, breaking ancient chains, smelling very fresh air, outside the prison doors, overlooking the beautiful inviting valley.

Raphael: Okay, well that expands the picture here again this morning. We’re inviting the Demiurge out of his prison for the first time…. Holeeee!

I know this is all pure blasphemy of the highest order to those still under the Demiurge’s reign, but hopefully, we won’t encounter too much of their resistance. We can just quietly sneak up, unlock their prison doors too, and split. Let them figure it out when they’re ready and we don’t take any buckshot in the process.

I think all this could use some settling and baking time inside all of us, and assuming the Demiurge has us on speed dial now, and is listening and up to speed with everything we’re up to, then I’ll bet, he could use a bit of acclimation time too, right?

Andy: So let’s take out the Merkabah for a Galactic spin then. There’s some galaxies we could visit that are not too far out of our own solar system. There’s major cool stuff there, and no Demiurge.

Raphael: Andy, we so need all that and more, but I’m wondering how that could jive with me taking the time to share more today of our this-life, this-dimension story in Christianity?  

Andy: Okay, How about if we all pile into the Merkabah and I can dial up some scenery then as we do?

Raphael: Sounds Perfect, Andy. I know I can use some higher Starseed frequencies to help going back to reliving some of this stuff. I’ll bet there still is some undigested pieces to feel, or I wouldn’t be drawn to retell the story.

Where was I?

Jim: You said that wasn’t the end of the airport coincidences that day in the airport.

Raphael: Right, let me launch back in there then.

So, Mar-yam and I and our two daughters are making our way across the Pacific at 35,000 feet digesting this wild coincidence, or in our books, a miracle, that happened just before boarding. I didn’t know the word ‘synchronicity’ at the time, or relate to them the way I do now. It gave us a warm feeling to digest an obvious ‘supernatural’ sign of God’s blessing or approval on the mission ahead, and on ourselves if we could feel it as that.

We landed for our short stopover in Tokyo, where we have to switch planes. Seats are in short supply when we check in, so I end up sitting one row ahead with Mar-yam and the girls just behind me on this final leg with a four or five hour flight into Manila.

My desired window seat is a great place to be alone with my thoughts and feel a whole dimension of something that I so rarely get to feel, so I settle into my own cocoon. As the flight begins its descent into Manila, the people on board naturally begin to stir, and I make a motion to greet my seat mate for the first time on my left, a middle-aged Asian man. We did the usual by asking where each other was headed after landing in the capital. I again recited the name of the province we were very soon to be headed by bus. He smiles and says, ‘Oh, that’s where my family is from, but we live in Manila now.’ He of course asks, ‘What city?’, I tell him, and his smile grows wider, he responds, ‘That’s where my family is from.’ I don’t know if I could take this anymore at this point, and luckily, he didn’t personally know of the Pastor I was going to visit, but he did know the family name.

Wow, I was just digesting one coincidence and got another one stacked on top of it. The question of ‘what are the chances…?’ didn’t even enter my mind as I so felt this was outside of the realm of mere chance. It was a personal confirmation of God being in this.

We landed and crowded our way off the plane as I shared this story with Mar-yam, without much time to digest it, making our way through the luggage and customs gauntlet. If I didn’t get the message with the first coincidence, I was given another to make sure I got it. I did get the message, yet I struggled to know what it’s deeper meanings might be.

Within a day of arriving, after another long ride, this one by bus, we met with Marben and Amy, the Pastor couple, along with their family and very welcoming congregation.

Given their esteem for us; along with all of our cultural and logistical bridging needs in a very foreign country; in an out-of-the-way town; our daily travels etc.; we formed a tight knit feeling of bond and community together that we all hoped would naturally extend well into the future with many comings and goings between us as well as our churches.

A few days after arriving, I did meet Marben’s brother and gave him the note I had for him from the Filipino man I had sat beside while boarding in Seattle. He smiled lightly at the coincidence, and simply read the note and stuck it in his shirt pocket. I recall feeling a bit disappointed that it wasn’t somehow anything more significant, or supernatural.

One day, I recall disappointing Marben badly by wearing my overseas footwear of choice; flip flops; while setting out to speak with a large group at a city wide gathering. We found our way through the cultural differences sufficiently to grow deeper and deeper over the short period of time, with a mostly natural ease.

Nearing the end of our time together however, a troubling growing awareness of some huge disintegrities arose that Marben seemed to be keeping well under wraps. It appeared that he was involved sexually somehow with the pretty and vulnerable Bible School students that the church led; that he was also not detached from the local communist party like he claimed he was; and also that church finances were going sideways off the books.

The other leaders from our church group had left a week earlier and had chickened out from addressing any of this, hoping I would surrender to the usual default same face-saving charade and just ‘cool off Marben’s way’ after a ‘nice’ church send-off service. Voila.

I knew all that Marben and we had talked about in regards to ongoing deeper involvement and being overseas ‘sister churches’ was off the table. There was no way we could go home and support any of that now, with what we suspected.

What I couldn’t bring myself to do though was to play the charade card. I knew an extra special send-off service was planned for us the following weekend and so the pressure to keep nice was about as strong as it could get.

The next day, when Marben dropped by as usual, I found my courage and told him about the 3 questions about him that had arose, which left unresolved would hinder all that we had hoped to share together going forward. I made it as easy as possible on myself and rolled it all into one sentence. He let me finish, pierced his eyes like daggers along with his forefinger and said, ‘That’s right, you don’t know’, and headed for the door. Our next time to see him was him smiling warmly as usual for the send off service where the locals piled us high with flowers and even received a love offering to help send us on our way.  

The last thing I did before boarding the return flight home was to find a mailbox in the airport to mail him a letter I wrote him confirming that we would not be continuing with any of the plans we had made until when and if things got resolved.

It was a tough one to digest going from feeling all of this ‘supernatural confirmation from God’ through the coincidences at the outset of this trip to this kind of a death on the way out the door.

Returning back home to our church, the fellow Elders and Pastor weren’t interested in debriefing any of this in any kind of a relational way as it was just an embarrassment, and ‘a bit of spiritual warfare to put behind us’ so the real work of God could go on unhindered.

The again default pattern of not facing and feeling real relational issues inside of our personal and leadership relationships was reaching a boiling point in me. Mar-yam and I had lamented it ongoingly now for years. I knew I wasn’t about to rip anyone’s head off, but I sure as hell couldn’t remain in this kind of a charade forever.

I sadly gave myself to the finding and diving into the next painting contract. In the world of contracting, we made a promise and kept it, and that somehow felt like a balm of integrity in the face of the game playing we did in church, that more and more and more, I was on the edge of losing my stomach for. I wasn’t aware of any misgivings towards God, but we, as his people, were sure a sad pathetic sight is how I felt about it at the time.

Metatron: Wow, Raphael, what a universe!

Raphael: I know, huh. It’s like I’m right back there at the moment, feeling myself as Marvin so looking for a way through the jungle, while being afraid to feel how much of a jungle it was at the same time. What do you make of it all, Metatron?

Metatron: I get it, Raphael. As being part of the church, you were all fired up to take God’s truth to the far flung places on the planet. You had thee instruction guide for meaningful relationships, and this was the best you were able to come up with. That has got to be maddening.

Raphael: That was maddening for sure. But what was even more maddening was the unwillingness to admit any of it. Truth was, and this took me some more years inside of all this to feel, is that there was a lot inside of myself I wasn’t willing to face, that I needed to keep hidden. It wasn’t as glaringly obvious as chasing women, or dipping into church finances, but it was stuff I was subconsciously very geared to not feel or face.

Part of me was using God and the hopeful focus of really making my life ‘count for God’ as a way to not feel what this part of me so wanted to escape feeling, believing that feeling that would be the end of me. At the time however, I couldn’t feel any of that hidden subconscious stuff. I could however feel very clearly that the key to finding our way through the jungle was to get real, to get real with each other, to get real with God, with whatever we could feel as real.

The admission I made in the elders circle, and resignation letter that I mentioned last day, came within months of returning home from this trip. I needed to take my own medicine and get real with myself. Mar-yam and I soon left our beloved all-in church behind, and went on to join one where we had no knowledge of the inner workings. I simply didn’t want to know, and feared that if I did, I wouldn’t be able to hang out there either.

I see now, that it was at this point that my belief and intense focus on the Bible as ‘thee deal’ lightened some, even if I couldn’t admit that either at the time. I opened myself back up to non-Christian music and reading, which I had been conditioned deeply to feel as backsliding. Who’d have guessed, for instance, that a Mormon, a decidedly deceived person, in our particular staunch Christian mindset that is, like Stephen Covey, could write such a grounded and genuinely helpful book like 7 Habits Of Highly Successful People without threatening hell, or sounding like a street preacher?

I knew two things instinctively at the time. One was that ‘God was for us’ and the other was that ‘He needed us to reach for the help we sought.’ I reached for the self-help aisle in the local bookstores and checked in from time to time to see if any Christian authors in the Christian bookstore had got real in the meantime.

It was a journey from this point over the course of the next 14 years, of slowly, but surely, thinning out one ‘pillar of the faith’ after the other. I did come across a small group claiming to still be true Christians, but had dispensed with many of the popular Evangelical claims, teaching a very alternative message. I dove deeply into two particular teachers in that movement for a good while. Mar-yam found it a breath of such fresh air as well, and we were even surprised to find two couples in our circle of long standing friends that were ready and hungry for a similar shift in focus. It allowed us some personal quiet breathing room, to feel into more of what we believed and why, while not jeopardizing our claim to being Christian, at least to ourselves.

A big one came around the halfway point of that stretch coming to the conclusion, as well as to the admission, the latter being the harder part, that I no longer held the Bible as the ‘inerrant, inspired, God-breathed, Word of God’. My intuition was pinging on all cylinders telling me that the only point of an ‘inerrant book’ was simply control, and that any ‘God’ out for control, was no ‘God’ at all. I had to adjust my picture of God and the Bible to a more progressive one in order to continue for the time being and that’s what I did.

This was the point though where Mar-yam became quite uncomfortable with where I was going, realizing that without that conviction, as liberating as it admittedly felt on one level, there also was no guarantee on anything, including our marriage. Our close friends interest in this new message and movement dried up at this time too.

Andy, I’m thinking a break-point is in order soon, can you dial us in an address to park this Merkabah for a bit?

Andy: Got the perfect spot in mind, Raphael. There’s a black hole super portal in our vicinity, and then just a mere 12 million light years from there, so we’re good. I’ll have us with our feet up in no time. Hold tight everyone, you might feel a bump or two.

Raphael: You are thee best, Andy! I’m thinking there’s some more digesting we need to do, but I’m a bit tired from the reliving of all this, and I know there’s more to feel, that I’ll need a nights sleep or two along with Andy’s galactic stay to digest this all, and what we’re fixing to do, from an elevated perspective, we could call it…

Anyone have anything they need to share before we take a pause?

Merlin: Pausing’s good.

Rhodes: I’ll say…

Raphael: Until next day then, everyone. What a day’s Journey this was. Many, many thanks again!
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.

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The Beauty You See In Me Is The Beauty That You ARE: Message From Mother Gaia

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

I spent 18 months at a remote, off-grid ranch here in Mexico where there were more natural surroundings than man-made ones, many more sheep than people. This experience almost two years ago now dropped me into the ‘lap’ of Gaia in a way I had never known before just taking walks in nature everyday or going camping occasionally. I felt myself BEcome Her and our mutual reverence together as I gardened for hours each day, built a house of mud/cobb, swam in the river. Now that I live in town, I mostly connect with Her through an amazing ocean view, visits to the beach and nearby river park, living on a jungle hillside…..it is not as immediate a connection, yet She lives INside me always.

This is a Message from Mother Gaia, who is often the Divine Mother form that people can most easily relate with and let in:

The beauty is you. The beauty you see in me is as beautiful as YOU are. I show you my beauty so that you may see your own. Always, I have been here to provide this for you. Always, I have wanted you to see that you ARE beautiful too.

You come to me. You take me in. You pause to let me in. You swim in my waves. You sit on my sand. You lay on my beaches. In the experiences of this outer places, you find reverence. You feel reverence toward me. You pay much of your ‘money’ to live near this expression of me.

Yet, I want to tell you, as I am a form of Mother to you and as my embrace holds you and supports you…….I want to tell you that the reverence you feel toward me is but a re-minder of the reverence that you ARE.

And, this reverence I reflect back to you. I reflect reverence for YOU in my waves, in my trees, in my mountains, in my breezes, in my landscapes. I offer this beauty of me so that you might finally SEE and FEEL your own.

You who are reading this, taking in these words, you feel the exchange of beauty, the exchange of reverence between us. You pause. You reflect. You walk mindfully on my grounds. My lands are your chapels and your sacred places. My trees are your witnesses and shores your portals. You do not destroy. You are the keeper souls of my energy, my stewards. You are the hope and possibility that burns bright and shines and beacons to others of your species.

It matters, your reverence for me. And it matters even more your reverence for yourself. It matters; it makes a difference; it propels forward the immense changes that are happening now. It propels our Ascension together forward as reverence is the substance of grace, appreciation, acknowledgement of worth.

I offer you many gifts of rejuvenation, nourishment, connection to ALL, connection to cosmos, connection to No-Thing-Ness, connection to my animal children. I offer these with reverence WITH you.

All I ask as you accept these gifts is to feel your reverence in response. I offer you these gifts so that you might see that you have access to all of these frequencies already, that they live inside of you, that they ARE you…..and that I AM YOU too.

I am raising myself UP because it is time for me to do and be so. It is my phase of UPness. I invite you to come along, those of you in reverence and appreciation and goodness for me, all living BEings, and yourself.

I invite you to come along with me into this exploration of your sacred humanity and the expression of the BEST of what your hearts and souls can express in those human bodies.

I invite you to come along on the next phase of this journey together to experience the expression of New Earth Or Golden Earth Or Golden Gaia.

I invite you to come along with the deepest feeling of appreciation and love, from the depths of my inner groundings to the heights of my orbit crowded with star being friends.

I invite you to come with reverence for the beauty expressed by me and that lives inside of you already, just waiting for the water of more LOVE!

Much much love to you my BEloveds,
Mother Gaia

~

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Going Yin: Claim Your Gentle AND Your Power, Man!

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

What does it mean to be a gentleman?

This came up for me this morning as I was digesting a post by Jelelle yesterday. She was advocating for the energy of gentleness in our lives, in the way we relate to ourselves, others, and the world around us. There is so much going on that has abrasive and abusive energy to it, even as it is coming in the name of ‘love’. I could feel where there are edges still inside of me that still feel a defense and a need for contention at times. I can feel a wound and a hiding of power. One in need of healing, one in need of claiming.

To be gentle does not necessarily mean soft or nice. There is a way in which we can bring our truth that holds a compassionate directness and an openness to be challenged otherwise with respect and goodwill. But this is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves as men, and as the masculine in women.  For some, the Gentle Man is a buried part. Put in shadow due to life experience that told him it was weak or unsafe to be so. For others, the Nice Guy comes out as a way to ward off the hidden anger and inner jackass that has been suppressed out of fear of harming and guilt. An inner rage that is in deep need to be felt and heard. In either case, a big part of what what being a true gentleman might be is tucked away in the recesses of our wounded masculine heart.

Our gentleness is a gift and a strength. It is a sensitivity not just to women in general, but the feminine within. There is battle that wages inside, and collectively, around the balance of our gentleness and our power. In our soul’s HIStory, we have much to atone for and be willing to own. This is a lifelong process of choosing to claim our own shadow and to heal that which has been hidden away out of fear and guilt. There is great Protector and Punisher that has had its reasons for being the way they have been. It is responding to these parts with our gentle hearts that brings the balm of healing to our conscious reality and transforms them into guides and lovers.

Under the wounded outbound expression of our power resides our truth, discernment, and passion to love and create in unison with the feminine. It is a strength and a force that is responsible to its consequence yet steadfast in its resolve.  The IN-fighting becomes an INviting with open heart, clear boundary, clear intention, and INtegrity. The Gentle Man is not push-over or a bully. He is an enigma to himself yet knows what it feels like to be both, and refuses to be either.

There is no badge to be earned. It is a process of choice and desire. It is about being real with all the parts and aspects of you that are tired of the battle and the inner war. It is about choosing something new where the warrior, knowledge-seeker, and unworth get to rest in the bosom of your sacred gentle heart. It is being reborn and remembered back into the true sacred power of your masculine BEing one truth, one claim, one tear at a time.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart

Information Is An Invitation

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

We are always downloading, integrating, feeling through information coming in, data parts of us area seeking, answers to questions that may or may not be the ‘right’ ones, but are answers for now, at any rate. Parts of us and Metasoul Aspects too, are searching and finding, seeking and hiding. We are feeling this in every moment as we move through life, embody our Ascension, and heal our way to a higher vibrational way of BEing in life (and in LOVE).

What we read, hear, digest, can only ever be an invitation. The mind looks for doorways and the soul seeks out the paths, sometimes even those that aren’t well-worn at all, yet have some sort of signposts showing a direction or two that can be taken. All of this though, this is all in invitation. And it’s up to us how, when or if we ever choose to wander in wonder through these openings.

There are so many who write and speak of what they feel they ‘know’ and with an energy of ‘this IS THE truth’ and ‘if you don’t believe this, you are doomed’ or worse yet, ‘you are one of THEM…’. It’s not the information or download itself that is in question, for we are all given data to digest one way or another, yet it is the charge with which we offer each other our insights and downloads that bears some transmuting from within.

I checked in with myself about this in meditation this morning. I checked with the Divine Mother too, my beloved guide and source of undying, absolutely infinite love and holding of my worth. She offered this piece about everything always being an invitation, for nothing can be forced. We cannot force each other to follow along with what we’re feeling and being, we can only invite and let go. We can only go inward if we feel something other than invitational energy coming from us towards others. This has been a big part of my personal process over the last several years, and I think for most if not all healers, this is a deep and necessary place to go. We are all gifted, so much so, and have such amazing abilities to tap into and share much that is based on what we are feeling, being downloaded, and above all, experiencing. To really take a sober look at where we are coming from when we do all of this, takes courage, a great deal of self-love, and a desire to deeply and truly love all of humanity.

“It can only ever be an invitation”… I feel these words ring so true and warm inside of me. I feel the freedom they offer, that She offers, from feeling confined to the knowingness of others. I feel the permission to lean into those teachings I feel are resonant, which for me means more and more that these teachings must come from a source that has done much inner work in order to truly and deeply ring true inside of me, and, I feel how this permission is really about an invitation to lean into myself, to feel more trust in my own ‘sources’ of information inside of myself, that are always available if I ask and intend to hear and feel them.

May all of this go into you and your own parts as an invitation, not a mandate. Wow, so this is basically an invitation into an invitation… that feels enlivening! ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Our Greatest Strength Lies In The Gentleness Of Our Heart

Published on by Jelelle Awen1 Comment

By Jelelle Awen

Someone thanked me recently on one of my energy updates for my “gentle explanations that are so helpful.” What was most touching about that for me was their use of the word, ‘gentle’. I will take ‘gentle’ over ‘accurate’ or ‘convincing’ any day. Gentle allows for the message to be received as an invitation rather than seemingly force fed onto anyone as an assertion. Gentle allows for personal resonance that comes from a place of sovereignty and empowerment. No one is bowled over with gentle….or disrespected or made to feel bad or wrong.

It has actually taken MUCH personal work for me (and parts of me) to be more gentle in my energy. To allow feminine energies of kindness and compassion to sooth wounded masculine frequencies that didn’t remember how to BE this way. These masculine aspects in me (and in the collective) only knew how to be forceful, how to fight, how to be a warrior.

It has taken much personal process to be gentle with my truths and insights. For parts of me to not judge myself so harshly that self consciousness keeps me from sharing my truth at all. For parts of me to shift from this intense self judging into loving discernment, heart-based and soul-based wisdoms that can be offered WHILE being open to alternative viewpoints and others realities. It has taken much inner process with parts of myself to offer my wisdoms that come from my own experiences without being contentious toward others.

Are you being contentious or are you being invitational? This is the question that I’ve been asking myself and parts of me for years now. Parts of me definitely had phases of being more contentious, of being just plain ANGRY…..especially when injustice was perceived or experienced. As these parts healed and relaxed and rested into compassion, then could they let go of the contention as it was just rooted ultimately in unworthiness, in shame, in distrust. They could let this go as they let go into love with ME (the Higher Self Me, the embodiment of Divine Feminine Me).

To be gentle is so undervalued in our 3D culture. To be gentle is the healing feminine in us all. The embodiment of the Divine Feminine’s gentleness that comes from a deep well of compassion for Herself, for others…..for YOU.

What place does gentleness have in your life and in your heart space? Are you gentle with yourself? Do you feel parts of you (especially what we call in SoulFullHeart The Inner Punisher) that are harsh and contentious with you? Do you feel gentleness toward others or do parts of you tend to get more charged and outraged?

To BEcome gentle requires trust that this softer frequency will be enough. To realize that gentleness actually HAS tremendous power in it. The power comes from being based in the openness and willingness to be vulnerable; to be seen; to be heard even with soft voice or soft heart leading.

I ache for our world to become more gentle….and I lead with this frequency in whatever ways I can. And I invite you too as well, as I feel the Divine Feminine inviting us ALL into Her gentle heart to receive Her modeling and to facilitate our own remembering.

 

~

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings athttps://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.