Practical Ascension: 7 Key Areas Of Life– Mental Area- Personal Process

In this second video on the mental area of life, SoulFullHeart Teachers, Facilitators and Sacred Union mates, Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri, offer their unique perspective that is based on their own personal processes in this area. The mental area can play out differently for men and women, yet similar in many ways too. Gabriel and Kalayna’s sharings help to illuminate what it can look and feel like on both sides of the coin of gender expression, including the process of working with the Inner Masculine in women, which can typically be quite mental and intellectual and at times very controlling and/or punishing, yet becomes so beloved (and eventually, ascended) just the same!

Parts of us all have different attachments to different areas of life. This area, in particular, is one that tends to have a lot of charge as there is so much emphasis placed on it in our schools and general upbringings. Parts of us have responded to this conditioning, often with a fierce attachment to intelligence, kNOwingness, kNOwledge, and tend to be uncomfortable with unknowns, trusting intuition, trusting their arising emotional reality and that of other parts, etc. Ascending from this 3D-conditioned focus on mental capacity and training into 4D and higher, can through parts of you into a tailspin, where they may actually start grabbing for knowledge of spiritual topics to help “explain” what they are going through in this phase of Ascension. So much begins to happen, especially as you awaken into lower 4D consciousness, that cannot be tracked by the mind and therefore, much emotional reaction can come up in response to it all.

Ascending into 5D consciousness, as Gabriel and Kalayna share, means entering into more “loose mind” or Kundalini-based experiences, where the mind’s conditioning is loosened, allowing your experience of life to arise into each moment. This is what is possible as the parts who are overly-attached to the mind are felt in their reasons for that and they begin to rest.

This video is a digestion of Gabriel and Kalayna’s personal experiences of Ascension in this area through feeling and being with parts of them and Metasoul Aspects too. May it be a beacon and a bridge for you and your own inner process, offering some journey markers and a way to feel something beyond the mind – which really is a key part of the Ascension process, anyways!

If you have any questions or comments, you can leave them in the comment thread here on Youtube or find us on Facebook (just look for Kalayna Colibri and/or Gabriel Heartman and/or SoulFullHeart Way Of Life!). You can also email soulfullhearts@gmail.com.

Donations are so appreciated and received with gratitude as an energy exchange in the offering of this series for free through PayPal: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations or the SoulFullHeart Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart

 

More links you may wish to visit for more information on Kalayna, Gabriel and SoulFullHeart:

Blog site:  https://soulfullheartblog.com/
Website:  http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/

Gabriel’s bio: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com…
Kalayna’s bio>http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com…

An Island Unto Yourself: The Loneliness Of 4D Awakening And Ascension

Ascension and awakening can be a lonely process. Even when surrounded by others there may be a feeling that you are not really there. Not totally present to what is really being said or to the minutia of the day. It can feel like you are in another person’s body, in someone else’s life. All that made sense at one point fails to make much sense anymore. New information, new feelings, new awarenesses are arising. They are coming to the surface by drip or by flood. Though they are not really new….you are just beginning to remember the nature of your BEing.

As you have walked through our conditioned world, the one you subscribed to either fully or partially, you created a world of relationship that matched that conditioning. But as this arising awareness has begun to fill your days there is this visceral chasm that begins to be felt between you and those around you. You may feel like an island unto yourself. This is where you feel the self, or part, that was created to exist in that past environment. Like a special suit that is needed to walk on a distant planet.

This can be hard on the YOU that is in that suit, looking behind those eyes. Feeling behind those words. A tiredness may be coming through. An awareness that you feel like a there is a charade going on. Or you keep bringing your truth only to find it falling short of resonance or curiosity. There is a part of you that may be okay with being introverted. Okay with just being alone. That may be better than all the acting. All the interfacing in a rear view mirror.

It important to feel that this YOU is not alone. There are many that are in similar circumstances and situations. The words may be different but the story is the same. There is a world of resonance INside of you when you find the time and desire to explore. There are a family and community of parts of you awaiting your Higher Heart to come and take them home there. An abundance of resonance that lies in the stars and in the heavens.

There is also family and community HERE. On Gaia. In your frequency. In the State of Authenticity that wants to connect and feel with you. Soul brethren and tribe. While it may be necessary to be alone, with the loneliness, to feel the depths and gifts of it, you are also in need of being seen. Being revered. Being heard. Being challenged to become more and more that which you can feel coursing through your veins. You are never alone in many ways and it can be a hard one for a part of you to truly let in and trust. That is the ground to go into what protects you from diving deeper into that pain and coming out the other side with new vision and new conditions.

This is a reminder from all the guides, ancestors, animal spirits, light beings, and angels that surround us at any given moment. It is also a reminder from one human heart to yours. The journey of awakening is the journey of connecting…one part, one heart, one soul at a time.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Subtle Energy for Beginners ~ Day One

By Raphael Awen

Ever felt left out of the picture when it comes to experiencing something beyond your five physical senses? I know I have. I could tell the people around me were experiencing something, and yet I couldn’t feel, track or transmit it like they could.

It was maddening. I didn’t doubt it was real; I just couldn’t feel it like I so desperately wanted to.

This ongoing series of blog posts is a love letter to that part of me who was stuck in a perception of being excluded, of being less-than somehow.

My truth today is that we are all energy workers. We are all energy healers. We can all channel. We can all receive and transmit energy. We can all be clairvoyant, clairaudient and clairsentient. We are actually doing these things all the time, but many of us just don’t realize it. In this series, we’re looking to REAL-ize this reality; for you; for the part of you who doesn’t get it; and for those around you.

We’re going to pause on looking to the ‘experts’ for fear of falling prey to the expert mentality; that you need an outside bigger-than-you source. I’m not an expert and don’t ever wish to be one. I’m a beginner and hope to remain that way. I am willing to share with you what I’ve learned thus far, that I think you will find quite profound, but that doesn’t make me an expert. It makes me someone you have authorized to reflect your Higher Self reality so that you can integrate it into your everyday experience. Did you catch that? The authorization comes from you, not me. You are the authority here. Experts don’t like you to know that as it often undermines their need to keep you small and dependent on them. I want you to be big, and I want to be big along with you. In fact, I need to share what I have, and I need to find those interested in what I have to share, in order to keep on growing into my own infinite bigness.

I’ll take that over expertise any day.

We’re going to find that the world of subtle energy isn’t nearly as far removed from us as we’ve been led to believe by our conditioning. It’s all around us in this very moment. We think we lack the ability to tune it, or track it, or transmit it, when what is far more accurate, is that the real lack is not so much in the ability, as it is in the willingness. That’s good news, because willingness is something much more accessible and immediate than ability. Ability admittedly has to do with practice and learning, but what precedes ability is a willingness to try. I think you will be amazed at what meets you as you step out into the captivating world of a genuine childlike willingness to try.

I’ll explore that point more as we go, but suffice it to say for now, that it is how you begin a thing that determines how you finish a thing. We’re beginning with beginner’s mind; the world of not-knowing, where even what we think we already know can be redeemed into the world of utter awe and wonder. From there, we can sail magically deeper and deeper into the unknown. I do suspect however, that while we will grow immensely, we will never reach any coveted certified place of expertise as each new level of discovery and experience causes us to feel an increased sense of NOT how much we know, but instead how much we don’t know.

If you are beginning with a pain of how much you don’t know; how much you don’t experience; how much you long to know and experience something deeper in your everyday waking reality, then you are at the true precipice of creation. You are filling your gas tank for the journey ahead. You won’t get anywhere on an empty tank. The gas is made up of the admission of your desire and your frustration, both of which are sacred, and allowing that to create momentum inside of yourself.

There’ll be resistances to feel and parts of yourself to negotiate with as they fear your departure from consensus reality, and all that could entail in your current relationships with people and life as you’ve known it. This is another good thing. You won’t need to railroad any part of you into some spiritual discipline that turns you into a freak show at the expense of the part of you who likes what it likes in your current life. You can feel and negotiate each change as it unfolds to make room for deeper energetic and emotional experience of a profoundly changing and magical journey into changing the unknown into the known and cycling ever deeper into the unknown.

You get to feel it all as you go. You get to embody and reclaim all of your unique sacred humanity as you go.

Join me for this ongoing series and share with others in the room what you are feeling and experiencing. Let’s take the quest of our deepest questions into the space with the heart and mind of a curious child. Let’s forget what we think we know long enough at least to open our hearts and minds to deeper layers of reality, and then deeper layers yet, beyond those newly discovered layers.

For today’s beginning, let’s remember that there is no greater true expertise than being in and at the beginning. Life and energy is always beginning again, moving and taking us somewhere we haven’t yet been. If we claim any expertise, let it be about knowing how to surrender to not-knowing in our quest to know.

Beginners only need apply. No experience necessary.

Raphael Awen
soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

March 21 is our Unity Meditation Group Call – details here: Free March Equinox New Earth Activations Unity Meditation Call
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Love Of MU Is Within YOU: A Poem

Painting: Lemurian Dreams by Tania Marie

It definitely feels like Lemurian energies are here strongly at this time… to support and offer guidance too during this phase of March Equinox energies that promise to last all month, or pretty much. I have recently felt my Lemurian Metasoul Aspect emerge, appropriately for them, during love-making with my beloved, Gabriel. Their sensuality and sexuality is passionate and deeply loving as well as devotional. There is a maturity they possess that is unique to anything I have felt in a Metasoul Aspect before. I am just getting to know my own aspect, who calls herself Misheeki. She offers frequencies of Divine Feminine, sunshine-love, and tropical springtime air. She has raw, tribal energy, coupled with ageless wisdom and depth. I am still trying to work out what her wounding is or could be, honestly, though I’m sure there is some pain, somewhere, though unlike my other Metasoul Aspects I have met and felt so far.

If you’re new to the concept of the Metasoul and Metasoul Aspects, you can read this for more info: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

The following poem I just wrote with Misheeki. It was actually quite challenging to let words come in with the energies she was imbibing (doesn’t help that they love speaking Light Language and not English!), yet hopefully, there is some bridge here that you can walk on to help you feel your own Lemurian aspect if the connection time is ripe. And if it isn’t time to connect with them, then perhaps there is no better time to connect deeper with parts of you that need you right now, while so much is being pressed on, pushed up, activated and upgraded. ❤

~

by Misheeki (Lemurian Aspect of Kalayna Colibri)

Arising…

the sun of the Self is arising.

Loving.

Feeling.

It is a time of great rebirth into a new dawn of a lighted day,

sung like a beacon

to the ethers of All.

 

Hum, dum, drum, dum…

The singing of the call surrounds the heart

of the beast that sheds its skin

for the nakedness of New Earth birth.

For naked shall All be

in all the glory

of a babe in the arms of the loved-up ones…

 

Bringing in the vastness

of YOU…

the bigness of the soul that bears the light

the sound

of a call to the heart

and the bridges built by ropes of wound-up dreamings.

 

So many… so many awakening

So many calling

So many learning, unlearning…

leaning, not collapsing…

The Divine of Love wants

needs

the Divine of All

to remember…

thrum, dum, drum, dum…

to remember the pulse-beat of Its hero’s heart

courageous and moving

feeling and seeking.

 

To feel in this light

is to move mountains inside.

To fear the mountains

is to avoid the climb.

To climb the mountains

is to honour their creation

as essential parts

of a freshly re-unified whole.

 

Know that Mother MU is with you…

during these times of transition and transformation.

Feel that She is not a place

yet a space inside of your being, heart and soul-scape.

Breathe, beloved…

She is with you,

now and always,

and Her Sun is yet still Hers

Though the light is offered through His frequencies

for the up and in and out

of every single spark of NEW, here

and NEW still to come…

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Learning To Surf The Equinox New Earth Ascension Energies

Woke up at 1:11 this morning. I felt myself restless. I could feel a part of me wanting to presence itself and another part wanting to just go back to sleep. I get up at 3:30 in the morning to prepare for my online English teaching gig. These are the moments when there are inner conflicts and frustrations. Yet with feeling these divergent parts of me I can take space for them that allows me to honor both and negotiate a bit.

I can feel how these current energies are just that. A current, or flux, of activation. They don’t really take stock of what our 3D conditioning has been. “Don’t you realize I need to be up in two hours?”

“I don’t live in Time. Sorry. Well…not so sorry. Just what IS.”

Just what IS indeed. I did a Practical Ascension video yesterday with my beloved Kalayna and we talked about the mental body and its relationship to ascension. I have been feeling this inside myself along with my inner masculine, both of which are so closely connected. This mental masculine feels a press and a frustration with this ISness. It doesn’t always just “go with the flow”.

By that I mean He doesn’t quite know how to surf these Ascension waves sometimes. When there are things to “do” they can just plain get in the way! But this is what these energies are supposed to help us feel. They are activating something beyond our usual and normal. Turning things downside up and inside out. There is an emotional churning that is invited into a conscious feeling space and it is my responsivity (feels less rigid than “responsibility”) to show up for the popcorning going on inside.

These intense energies are meant to shake something up that is in stasis within us. “Busy-ness as usual” is not the order anymore. It is a time to feel what IS. What is your body needing? What are parts of you feeling even in their polarity…especially in their polarity? What truth is rumbling that needs expression as it is being simultaneously repressed? Ascension energies are not just about feeling good, they are about feeling what is real…and sometimes what is real doesn’t always feel good.

This may be a time of cross grain energetics of 3D, 4D, and 5D. Taking the moment to go in and conduct a heart scan of the emotional and spiritual bodies is the call of the day. The mental masculine is in need of the flowing and circular feminine to help assist in this ongoing Equinox UPshift. Feeling what is occurring beyond the mental veil and in our converging Metasoul timelines can bring more clarity to all that may be rumbling inside. This is done through direct negotiation with what we call the Gatekeeper… the doorman, guard, and guide of the veil.

Learning how to surf may be a precursor to learning how to fly. I feel a gratitude for this at the moment even as the eyes are getting heavy and the alarm goes off in an hour. My parts are feeling okay about it as they felt the context and my heart. I can serve love to young children without feeling frustrated. Now there is a movement that feels significant in its simplicity.

There will be a March Equinox Activation New Earth Unity Meditation with Raphael and Jelelle Awen on March 21st at 2:22pm MT. You can find more info and register at this link:
https://www.facebook.com/events/455929834824560/

Painting by Elena Khomoutova
You may find it here for purchase at https://lightfromart.com/catalog/3

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

PRACTICAL ASCENSION: 7 KEY AREAS OF LIFE – MENTAL AREA INTRO

In this video, SoulFullHeart Teachers, Facilitators and Sacred Union mates, Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri, discuss the mental area of life and how we can relate to the mental body from a point of view of love, respect, and spiritual and emotional healing and evolution.

There is so much energy placed on the mind and mental-based reality filtering is lauded and rewarded in our 3D reality, often over any other sort of pursuit or endeavor. Our five senses are the accepted gateway to taking in and understanding our world and the parts of us that make up our 3D Self, including our Inner Protector, Teenager, Mother/Father, and Punisher. As we ascend and awaken into more 4D frequencies and experience of life, sometimes there is a grasping at mental-based spirituality and filtering of spirituality in order to understand what’s happening in the individual and the world too, and why. This can step on the deepening emotional and embodied spiritual experience of awakening and is often a fear-based reaction from parts who are not ready for the awakening or are afraid to let go of 3D reality.

Kalayna and Gabriel also share about the awakening 5D Self, whose reality is more about visceral experience and moving with emotions as they come up rather than rationalizing or filtering them through mental-based conclusions or reasoning. Throughout Ascension, there is more fluidity that is invited, starting within, as the healing and unification of the Self continues and more oneness/non-dual experiences that are well beyond the mind can be had.

They offer too, that the mind is meant to ‘come with us’ during this process of Ascension and not to be left behind as many other spiritual paths offer. It is a crucial aspect of helping us find and visualize what’s possible for us and what our meditation journeys want to offer and show us. Eventually, perhaps the mind as we have known it is not needed anymore, and that alone can leave parts of us feeling anxious about what that reality could mean or be like, especially as the mind and thinking has been so over-emphasized and over-energized in 3D life.

If you have any questions or comments, you can leave them in the comment thread here on the blog, on the Youtube video itself, or find us on Facebook (just look for Kalayna Colibri and/or Gabriel Heartman and/or SoulFullHeart Way Of Life!). You can also email soulfullhearts@gmail.com.

Donations are so appreciated and received with gratitude as an energy exchange in the offering of this series for free through PayPal: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations or the SoulFullHeart Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart

 

~

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. 

 Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

 

 

Going Yin: The Healing Gifts of Our Relationship to the Feminine

Today is International Women’s Day. Now, of course, every day is Women’s Day, and vice versa. It is a reverence that just IS. It resonates and harmonizes with the feminine inside the masculine. It is clear that the 3rd-dimensional matrix upon Earth (I use Gaia for its 5D reference) is that of a patriarchal energy. Why else would there be a day to celebrate women? It feels important to let in what the feminine means for all of us men and to feel where our personal shadow may be in relationship to Her.

Since our “fall” from a more balanced union with the feminine there has been a force within the collective wounded masculine that has sought to dominate the feminine in one form or another. It has shown up in personal/social relationships, religious texts or their interpretations, the need to gain control over nature and consume Her resources. In this, I feel a deep fear of separation. The feminine has had a much stronger connection to Source, possibly due to their ability to give birth. It just understands creation and is a vehicle for that in a much more visceral way. I can feel this existential territory the collective masculine has navigated. In this fear of the unknown and unknowable, of which the feminine is so intimate, it seems likely that this need to control would play itself out. It also feels true that the masculine was more influenced by these darker energies and that this “influence” was coded into the DNA/meme of the masculine blueprint. Again, playing here, but something feels true here. The main point to me feels like, as men who have more of the masculine energies in us, that we are a part of that coding and it has had influence.

To truly ascend into what we are calling our Sacred Humanity we must feel any blocks or denser energies that can anchor us into 3D, or wounded densities. Our relationship with women is psychospiritual and has many gifts even in the shadow. By going inward (I call in going “yin”) and feeling the parts of us that hold more “negative” feelings about women, rooted in our relationship to mother and other important influences, we can begin to see what lurks in the background operating system of our projections. Our mothers/female caregivers hold a huge part of that reflection. What was the dynamic between mother and son and how does it play out in our current relationships and perception of the Divine Feminine? I know it is a bit Freudian but it is extremely important. I don’t feel it can be glossed over in regard to ascension.

The era we find ourselves is requiring us to inhabit a more Feminine frequency. We can not control this thing. It is a surrender to Love Spirit that cannot be contained but seeks a container to move with and through. That is tough knuckles for the wounded masculine energy that wants to control and issue its own parameters. I feel it in my being as the days progress. I am still working with it on some level as the Light is shining more on what needs healing. That is why I am being guided write this. But the gift of going in and feeling our relationship the feminine we are given the gifts and guidance needed to make our way into our more natural expression as a Sacred Masculine Human.

We are blessed with the ability to dance in the unknown and the aliveness that that brings to our present experience of life. We are opened in our hearts to let in more of this exquisite love juice that is lapping up on our shores every second of infinity. We are delivered into union with Her impeccable sensuality and sexuality as a portal to the All That Is that careens this magical energy all up and down our chakras. We see with heart eyes with reverence for all of life in all its bountiful and beautiful expressions both of, and outside, this world. There is an unlimited capacity for imagination and creation that sends beyond the machinations of our limited consciousness. She is the Queen of our King.

Gaia is looking for her Kings of Heart to arise out of the necessary ashes of 3D and embody the truly majestic essence of our being. We need to do our due diligence of feeling all there needs to feel in relation to Her and the Feminine. There is a correlate in women as well, but I will leave that to my feminine counterparts for that discussion. I am exploring this with an open heart and I don’t claim to have any definitive truths. I feel the heart says it all and is willing to feel more. Thank you for taking this in today and a special Love shower to all the women, feminine etheric/galactic BEings, Gaia, and Divine Mother on this day. I am in awe and reverence of YOU.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Going Yin: Writing A New Constitution From Within

So much unhealed masculine taking front stage in the collective. Maybe no more or less than in the past. It is just becoming so obvious in all the geopolitical rhetoric and turmoil. The Right vs. The Wrong. The Ahead vs. The Left Behind. The Truth vs. The Fake. It is wreaking its own havoc in the emotional and spiritual bodies of all that participate. I used to be so deeply involved in the daily mill of the Info Wars. I used to listen to talk radio programs that would send out a barrage of rage and abomination. I would end my days in my own swirl of undigested fear and anger.

This could have only happened because it reflected something in me. I was attracted to the war which parts of me were waging inside. In my disgust of all things political, there was the same disgust going on in me. This was one of the single biggest awakenings for me in my journey.

I needed to meet my inner Bully Pulpit led by the Majority Whip known as my Inner Punisher. They all existed in me…and if you feel a rage against the machine, they exist in you as well. This is an ongoing process of feeling your own personal shadow that leads to a shift in the inner workings of your emotive governance. Pulling out of the din of the 24 news cycle was a much needed Motion that allowed me to feel the reality of this landing in my consciousness and heart.

I write this as the wounded masculine finds Itself a prime candidate in a presidential role. For this is actually a gift. We get to stare right in the face of what is left unhealed in our collective heart. This is exemplified not just in the U.S., but in many countries around the world. It is a spiritual thermometer, and we have a fever.  

As those on the leading edge of a Great Shift, we have an opportunity to help heal this one by taking responsibility for our own healing. Our own rewriting of an Inner Constitution that raises the bar on what it means to have power WITH and not OVER. These power struggles all occur on the inside first. They are tender and delicate in their root. They are an abused and neglected child. A son or daughter in desperate need for a father who could love them and initiate them into a world of integrity and vulnerability. This rewrites HIStory and merges with HERstory.

Going Yin is as much a political movement as it is a spiritual journey.  It invites all of us to feel our own roles, our own misappropriations, as well as a compassion for ourselves and others. It invites us to heal ourselves out of the old and into something not new, just forgotten. We have access to our own Higher Council that lives on a completely different ground yet the same floor. I choose to be a part of this new masculine reLOVEution in the spirit of what it means to be kings of a sacred humanity.  I hope you will join me.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Re-Discovering And Loving The Buried Parts Within

by Kalayna Colibri

Many years ago… I could not have told you that ‘becoming more feminine’ was my goal or intention. I grew up with an older sister who rebelled against femininity and wanted to be like her. I wanted to be friends with the guys that weren’t attracted to me, so at least I could have some way to be close to them regardless, to experience a connection with the opposite gender. I say ‘I’ here because before I was aware that I had ‘parts’ of me running the show of my life, ‘I’ was all ‘I’ had as a reference point for the dramas and desires and pain.

When I was very little, however, I wanted only to wear dresses. I liked big frilly ones with flowers. I liked my pretty shoes and white tights. I especially loved going to ballet class as a 5-year-old and being able to wear the pink skirt that represented my level over top of my leotard. I loved being called a ‘lady’ and would have fantasies about being in ‘princess training’. This was all before messaging of ‘being a girl means you’re weak’ or ‘incapable’ started to leak in and take over. This was before parts of me started to form as a casing, an ever-hardening shell over my natural sensitivity and blooming pre-womanhood. The dresses got put away. The tights could no longer be worn without holes being made in them almost immediately – a symbol, I’m realizing, of my young torn-ness between gender expressions. Skirts didn’t fit or feel right either, and I felt very self-conscious in them. Something was shifting out of wanting to be a girl to wanting to be related to, to be made friends with, to be able to somehow find comfortability in any social situation even if that meant being more like a ‘boy’ in some ways. I stopped feeling ‘pretty’ when I was quite young and thus I stopped trying to be, at least until high school.

I remember all of this in this very moment, especially as I feel a part of me that is my Inner Masculine. I feel how this is a story from him about how he came to be and how he began to form as an Inner Patriarch, coaching and teaching my other parts how to become more masculine in order to survive if not thrive in this world of 3D. I feel the tears of my suppressed, albeit quite young aspect of my Inner Feminine, who it feels like has some pain coming up in response to this… these feelings of being ‘girly’, which was more in my true nature, being deemed ‘not good enough’ so early in my life.

I share this story today because it feels like the story that belongs to so many of us… a story of genuine self-expression, of authentic sensitivity. Unless and until we can begin to feel the parts of us that have (had to) come up in response to life and more often than not, bury or try to dismiss what is actually TRUE about us, it doesn’t really feel possible to feel the layers here and to get to exactly what has been buried for so many ‘years’.

I feel like this extends far beyond authentic gender expression, so much as just what is authentically in our hearts. I feel the richness of a genuine experience of what the sacred masculine and feminine ARE, that can only really be experienced from within, not from other people’s ideas of what it is or is not… in either case when it comes to the masculine and the feminine, we are having to re-learn so much and deeply feel much more.

We have the courage to venture deeper into our own healing, ever-discovering more and more of what has been suppressed within our most inner caverns of what has always wanted to show us the most authentic us we have been waiting and working to BE… and it’s up to us when and if we are ready to lead him/her/them out of the shadows and into the light where they can breathe and play and be themselves again… and this time, without anyone telling them they have to stop being who and what they truly are. ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Going Yin: Claim Your Gentle AND Your Power, Man!

What does it mean to be a gentleman?

This came up for me this morning as I was digesting a post by Jelelle yesterday. She was advocating for the energy of gentleness in our lives, in the way we relate to ourselves, others, and the world around us. There is so much going on that has abrasive and abusive energy to it, even as it is coming in the name of ‘love’. I could feel where there are edges still inside of me that still feel a defense and a need for contention at times. I can feel a wound and a hiding of power. One in need of healing, one in need of claiming.

To be gentle does not necessarily mean soft or nice. There is a way in which we can bring our truth that holds a compassionate directness and an openness to be challenged otherwise with respect and goodwill. But this is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves as men, and as the masculine in women.  For some, the Gentle Man is a buried part. Put in shadow due to life experience that told him it was weak or unsafe to be so. For others, the Nice Guy comes out as a way to ward off the hidden anger and inner jackass that has been suppressed out of fear of harming and guilt. An inner rage that is in deep need to be felt and heard. In either case, a big part of what what being a true gentleman might be is tucked away in the recesses of our wounded masculine heart.

Our gentleness is a gift and a strength. It is a sensitivity not just to women in general, but the feminine within. There is battle that wages inside, and collectively, around the balance of our gentleness and our power. In our soul’s HIStory, we have much to atone for and be willing to own. This is a lifelong process of choosing to claim our own shadow and to heal that which has been hidden away out of fear and guilt. There is great Protector and Punisher that has had its reasons for being the way they have been. It is responding to these parts with our gentle hearts that brings the balm of healing to our conscious reality and transforms them into guides and lovers.

Under the wounded outbound expression of our power resides our truth, discernment, and passion to love and create in unison with the feminine. It is a strength and a force that is responsible to its consequence yet steadfast in its resolve.  The IN-fighting becomes an INviting with open heart, clear boundary, clear intention, and INtegrity. The Gentle Man is not push-over or a bully. He is an enigma to himself yet knows what it feels like to be both, and refuses to be either.

There is no badge to be earned. It is a process of choice and desire. It is about being real with all the parts and aspects of you that are tired of the battle and the inner war. It is about choosing something new where the warrior, knowledge-seeker, and unworth get to rest in the bosom of your sacred gentle heart. It is being reborn and remembered back into the true sacred power of your masculine BEing one truth, one claim, one tear at a time.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart