Tag: healing process

For Raphael Awen: Happy Birthday! Thank You For YOUR Love…

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

R bday collage 2017

 

Every young part of my heart

ached for the love of a man like you.

A man in quasi-father-figure-ness

also unafraid of his sexuality

and his shadow

who could “see” me/us

with no lecherous intent

however buried.

 

Your love

is like water…

for my rose garden

of young femininity

that is somehow

ancient too.

 

Your capacity

to hold and BE so much

PURE love

comes from so much

work

inner healing

courageous choices

and the deepest feeling spaces

that only a true King

can feel and inhabit

and live in…

 

You pick up where fathers

and mates

have left off

and help me

pick up the pieces

and parts

that have needed love like yours.

 

When my heart says ‘thank you’

to you today,

it knows

I couldn’t be healing all of this

without YOU,

with the YOU that you have cultivated

the YOU that loves so deep

and cares so much.

 

Thank you for being

the jarring voice

of deep masculine love.

 

Thank you for being

the father-surrogate

my youth has needed

in all loves frequencies you carry.

 

Thank you for showing

and demonstrating

how a healing

loving woman

should ask

and wait

and hold out for

the most exquisite overflow

of love

from a mate.

 

And thank you…

most of all…

for being unabashedly YOU,

whatever that means in moments

and however that changes with process

and shifting desire-choices…

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAPHAEL! ❤

 

 

Shelter For The Inner Storms

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

Shelter

 

Cloudy morning feelings

of going IN.

My heart beats through

impending storms

of ‘time’ mixed with LOVE…

 

The land goes through collapsing

timelines

every time the rain pours

and rolling thunder

precedes renewing lightning strikes

of electric and alive possibilities.

 

Ascending hearts meet rolled-over beaches,

ocean waves flushing foreign objects

up to the shore.

Remnants of old phases

needing attention.

 

Weather movements

bring land and sea purges.

Another chance for renewal

that Gaia takes hold of

every single time.

 

And so

the invitation to another this

inside of us

brings us forward

into new places,

lets in more LOVE waves

lightning storms

and churning, renewing

inner selves.

 

Your lighthouse self

grows with every beat

of high ocean tide waves

stirring around

the debris of kicked-up

journey markers

and intensely trodden paths.

 

The light within

is for you to have

be

as the direction of Home

guides you

inside all places

of high pressure patterns

and inner weather maps.

 

For the LOVE of it all

you continue to shine

while collecting windward

clues

and healing cues

for that beacon

you are meant to BEcome…

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Feeling Feminine Stillness In Shifting Times

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

 

stillness in movement

 

In moments like these, with much rumbling and shifting and changing going on, I feel my feminine stillness arising alongside a deepening trust more and more often. I feel my body, heart, soul and mind too, soaking in a pool of still yet steadily flowing water. A paradox, yes, as we all are too it seems, always in motion somehow or other, always moving with some sort of current, finding our new breath on our way out of birth canals. We find our ways to BE with what IS but still find ways to hold the rumbles, trusting that even as parts of us quake in the emergence of NEW, we will find our desires being answered. Without entitlement, I can feel what is coming and that it’s already here too. I can feel the impending life shifts that are coming and the parts of me that are scared. I can feel the humility this offers too, as I allow in these fears just don’t fuse to them as I used to so often, not all that long ago. MY version of arising feminine stillness and deep trust has been an intense journey of forks in the road, sharp turns around jagged corners, and collapses into the processes of NOW.

I feel so much in my heart that can hold just about anything that comes up now… after having processed so much, I feel as if my container has expanded and can hold as much as it needs to. The next step is really letting in the care of this container, feeling what energies are okay right now, what my body and heart need right now, what my parts or Metasoul aspects need right now.

This process… is the one we are invited into as men AND women. It is a going in to find stillness, to bring this gift into our daily life moments, our relationships, any emotional underpinnings that are being unearthed, any spiritual endeavour or discovery. It finds us like the river finds the ocean. It finds a way to breathe outward while going inward. It is paradoxical and yet it is just what IS, without mental framing necessary. It is the ultimate in self-love that will be more felt by women than by men, in themselves at least, yet this stillness holds an offering to men too, to find their portal in it in a mate, in any feminine connection, and inside of them too to the degree that they can let this in and embody it. More paradoxes there, yes. It is endless.

Where the resistance ends, the stillness begins. And the trust your soul has always somehow had, finds its way to your consciously held life structure, whispering to you of new possibilities, and offering to you some NEW pictures of what is to come, if you can do the work necessary to let it all in… ❤

 

Join Jelelle Awen and I at our next SoulFullHeart Virtual Group Call for Women NEXT Saturday, June 15th. We would love to have you! Go here for more details. ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Rediscovering That Creative Heart In Us, Beyond Self Punishment

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

kid_dancing_rain

When I was a teenager, creative outlets ‘saved’ me in a way… especially exploring my creativity in private, or at least as private of a setting as I could find. I was doing regular dance classes and you would think that was helpful too, yet there was something about being in a ‘class’ setting such as this, that stoked the fires of comparison to others for parts of me that I couldn’t feel directly. Perhaps if I could have, I wouldn’t have kept doing these classes, but it’s hard to say. They were helpful for many reasons and yet, they were painful too. It was more often the dancing, singing, performing that I did for invisible audiences (likely higher selves of soul family and maybe star being family and guides too at the time!) who would inevitably adore me and enjoy my performances with no cloaked judgments or making parts of me feel self-conscious, that I thoroughly enjoyed. These parts of me so needed this, growing up in this 3D reality where we are taught to judge others and ourselves for just about everything so soon in our lives, and always, it feels like, because our caregivers and teachers are overflowing with this judgement toward themselves first.

These times in my parents’ basement were so sacred… I even remember buying a headset mic that was meant for a computer, so I could wear it like a pop star! Sometimes I sang, sometimes I lip-synched instead. But it was ALL fun and most of the time, I somehow managed to free myself from self-judgment frequencies because from me to me, I had space to enjoy being with ME.

There’s something about our ways of expressing ourselves creatively that pings for me now, especially as just an hour ago I was singing my heart out a bit, for the first time in a LONG time and I have to say it felt really, REALLY good… my heart wanted to sing out in expression and love. Reconnecting with music that I used to listen and sing to many years ago. I could feel part of me feeling self-conscious, wondering if the whole complex that I live in could hear me singing… and worse yet, that they would think I was awful. And then, I also felt how in these precious moments I didn’t actually care if they did and if they judged. So both were true for me and that’s okay. It felt important to give myself permission to just BE in the music, let something roll out of my heart, have some FUN too. Give myself permission to NOT be perfect or seek perfection in any way. Just sing OUT. I feel there is so something in this for all of us, perhaps especially in this process of ascension that’s happening so quickly for so many of us and can have such intense phases physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc. Where did our creativity go that could carry us through and that was given to us to help life feel like MAGIC again and stoke our imaginations so we can blaze like the LOVE stars we truly are?

As our inner-punishment heals, especially through this work we call SoulFullHeart where we work with and deeply feel the parts of us who hold these frequencies, we can begin to be more in our creative magic again. This feels so important to me, because we ARE creating in every single moment as we really can’t help but do and BE this as human beings! We are creation constantly creating… we shift these frequencies of what this creativity draws when we reclaim our power and see what we’ve been drawing instead of what we actually want.

And so, I know that I hope this is only the beginning of me exploring art forms that once brought my heart out to play, though of course writing like this does that too! We are so meant to sing, to throw our heartbeams outward through dance and movement too, to let our lungs fully expel the old air and invite in the NEW. And to encourage everyone to do the same… without polish or perfection but just our human ISness that wants and aches to come out and play again, create and recreate a magical life again, love ourselves everything about us again and again and again…

❤

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Let’s Fall

Published on by Kasha Rosa5 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

 

7

 

It’s that threshold

before the further step.

 

A feeling that there is something

MORE

if only

we tip over.

 

Let’s tumble down this hill

for a jumpstart

while the edge is right here.

 

I want those scraped knees

and grass-stained jeans.

Those ripped up shirts

that tangled hair.

The one way

to tear down curtains

over those layers

that need revealing.

 

I want the melting heart

knee-buckling feeling

of an opening coming out

from deeper within.

From outstretched arms

held tightly

around an us

that can hold it all

somehow…

find ways to be in it

trusting

that the ways it leads us

often unknown

will show the silver-lined paths

of newly trodden soul circles

leading back to the heart.

 

I want the air of it all

the sea breeze

and the moving shorelines.

I want the ease of connection

worked for

contended for

and loved for.

The commitment from inside

that brings it all out

through these filters

no longer hidden

but now faced

and fitted

and trod out.

I want those memories

pinging between us

of lifetimes

still lived

and seeping through.

 

Yes,

I want a lot.

I want it all.

And when it’s here

that downhill tumbling

heart fumbling

reality of its power

will move all the while

within me

As I walk hand in hand

with you

and we find our way through

together…

 

Let’s fall

and rise back up again

over and over

as we have never done before

and bring it all out

to be felt

held

cherished

in the eyes and hearts of each other

and the Divine

sacred love

that holds every moment

and movement

with ever-expanding hands

and ever-healing souls.

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

Aging UP: Entering A New Life And LOVE Phase On My ‘Birthday’

Published on by Kasha Rosa3 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

Shiloh Sophia Queen of Her Own Heart.jpg

This painting is by Shiloh Sophia

I turn ’30’ tomorrow. A surreal feeling, as age and time have felt less and less important and real to me, except for those phases when it has to somehow. There are still some really important life phases and experiences that seem to happen mostly during certain ages or decades of our lives, so sometimes it IS important to acknowledge ‘age’ though I feel looser and looser about it, especially for myself.

I think I spent most of my ’20’s’ looking forward to turning ’30’. My 20’s felt awkward and strange at times. So much more self-discovery and remembrance happened during this ‘decade’ of my life than in my teenage years, though so much got started then too. Many phases of letting go, learning to let in, surrendering, hoping, wishing, losing sight of magic and wonder and then rediscovering it again, loving a man, moving through relationships, learning to love humanity again even when parts didn’t want to… this is just a taste of where I chose to go, venturing into shadow and light both and facing sometimes very, very humbling mirrors.

The ups and downs were palpable and as I reflect on them, my god, they were all so worth it to bring me HERE to this NEW place inside me that is more compassionate, more overflowing with love, more desirous of mateship inside and outside of me, more desirous to FEEL and HEAL whatever I need to no matter how challenging, and more willing to step into my destined leadership, starting within and moving without. My heart wants to BE and experience feminine stillness and also experience heart-based, vulnerable, transparent leadership happening more and more from inside of me, to serve and BE love, even when boundaries are necessary and conflicts may arise for one reason or another, all in the name of growth and letting in more and more and MORE with less and less shrinking or hiding or cloaking from parts of me who are fused to fear.

Rolling around with a part of me through reactions to ALL of this arising inside me took the place of sleep most of the night last night. In some ways it was the reactions that kept me up and yet it was also new energies coming in, or so it feels like to me now as I reflect on and feel into this all some more. I’m getting ready and being filled up and at the same time being flushed OUT. This morning has been mostly restful for me, despite any ‘plans’ I thought I had… I feel as if I’m trying to expand my container for letting in LOVE and letting it move through me in conscious transaction and relationship with others. There is so much juice coming in now, being offered to all of us actually. This juice can’t come in without us being juiced first! It can feel like a squeeze at times, as reactions surface and sometimes feel overwhelming and hard to track. Sometimes it feels to me like all I can do is surf it all and trust that as I’m feeling it, it’s also moving, and that there’s  a fast track happening. I’m ON the train now, and it’s moving faster and faster.

As I enter this new ‘age’ of my life, it feels inaugural… I feel how much my inner Queen is arising now. She is waiting to be crowned at an official coronation, held inside me with guides and so, so much love. She is who I’ve been waiting and WORKING for, processing for, healing for. She is who gets to lead in my life now, more and more, as my healing continues and my persona parts of me continue to rest. She is the one ascending to her heart throne while also ascending to the throne built for her in the Universe, joining other Kings and Queens that are also showing up there more and more, leading humanity consciously and subconsciously through this phase of ascending with Gaia. She IS Mother Gaia, as we all are. She IS you just as she IS me and she also is a bridge, a platform, a ship, a rocket, a star and light BEing and leader. She is feeling her purity of heart come forward again at deeper and deeper depths as all I’ve healed and am healing helps to create her crown of jewels atop her head. She is my leader, my healer, my LOVEr living inside my heart and soul. And she is waiting along with me, helping me make room for a King to come and dance with her energy in sacred union, sacred sexuality, sacred and conscious duality, and sacred humanity.

As I find my rebirth into this new universe, I feel this birth canal that she is being pushed through by love and desire. She is responding already to what is coming and what is being asked of me and of her. We won’t be perfect together, yet there is no need for that. Many different birth canals await and that’s okay too, for the need for mess in order to grow is not foreign to me! Yet there is also harvest coming and feasts of celebration inside of myself and with others too. AND I look forward to welcoming more of ALL of our inner inter-galactic, inter-dimensional royalty, as we all reemerge and reunite in this way.

From my Queen to yours, or perhaps your King if you’re a man, thank you for being a part of what has created my journey so far. You have taught me and continue to teach me more than you could maybe be aware of really and I feel you… I honour you. I love you.

In arising and ever-flowing love,

Queen Kalayna ❤

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Beauty Of Our Messes: Living Life From The Heart

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

dirtyheart1

Gosh, claiming someone or something can feel like a big leap of faith. It is an agreement to fall in love. It can get to a point where even claiming the next step of the staircase can feel like a lot, like you and your parts know somehow that life as you’ve/they’ve known it is about to change. Some of us are more cautious than others. Some of us dive in head, heart or soul first, no matter the circumstance. There could be a balance here, and yet the whole point, it feels like, is to allow yourself to be ‘out’ of balance. To let something or someone new that’s arising in your life tip you completely sideways and add some new wonder to every fiber of your existence, known or unknown. Parts of us have all sorts of reactions to this and it’s important to feel every one as it arises, paving nothing over, and yet the messiness of it all, even feeling in hindsight what was buried, IS the point! Sometimes our growth edges cannot be planned or deliberately planted, yet stumbled upon. And sometimes this is the only way to find them.

As children, getting messy was easy! It was the way we learned to communicate, the way we learned to play, the way we learned how to BE with others and also with things. We shed tears over broken bones and toys and friendship bonds. Sadly too we also learned how to punish ourselves from the inside and as we learned what was ‘wrong’ and what was ‘right’ we also learned how to judge others for whether or not they followed the ‘rules’ as we learned them. Parts of us or subpersonalities began to form around these traumas, identities and ways of ‘seeing’ ourselves started to develop. We stopped being willing to get messy, sooner or later, for the consequences, which no one could feel us in at the time or offer us heart-centered guidance through, soon became things to avoid, avoid, avoid… it feels like this is when we learned how to stop falling in love, falling on our faces or bums or even our hearts when necessary, whether over a person or a butterfly or puppy, or a flower we just really wanted to run to in order to take it in deeper! We wanted to play, we wanted to learn how to fly, we wanted to experience the whole world with every sense alive in us. AND none of us were born judges or critics or even fanatics… we just WERE.

Our worlds of discovery, uncovering all we wanted to, became answered by knowledge. So many of us eventually began a path of seeking and spirituality in order to find magic in life again, and yet even this has become a place of only seeking knowledge and not actual experience. Not the same experience that falling into and sometimes on top of your heart can offer. It’s not the same as the inherent sense of spirituality we were BORN with, that got snuffed out because we had to go through phases of this. It’s been a tough road of remembrance and so it continues to be sometimes, but this innocence, this heart-centered love of everything, is still there. The healing, the difficulties, the FEELING is all worth it to find this place inside the inside of us again. We are constantly being invited back inward, back to that place where the magic has always been. We can’t return fully to that place where we were as kids, and yet we wouldn’t want to, for all that we’ve gleaned from our life experience has been a gift that’s meant to integrate with this child within, hold it and treasure it too. As we claim each piece of who we are, who we want to be, who we want to be WITH, we find our way back to the pure love we came from, bringing our full treasure chest with us that we always wanted to find as children but needed life to bring it to us.

A childlike claim of the love of discovery, of life, of love itself… the claim of another in romance, the claim of ourselves in pursuit of our deepest healing and experience of self love and reverence and worth… this is all within us and the more we allow in the possibilities of mess but still go IN, the more we seem to grow and the greater our depths of soul and heart seem to BE.

With each firewalk we endure, we find our power again, and realize we never lost it but it was our power that chose it in the first place. With each step into the wilderness, we find that getting lost only means being found in a new way. With each garden bed we till, we make friends with the bugs and learn to love the dirt under our fingernails. And with each fresh beat of our excited hearts, we learn yet again, that even the roughest seas bring us back to the shores of love and the light we’ve always had within. ❤

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

A Part Of Me

Published on by Raphael Awen2 Comments

part of me

By Raphael Awen

A bigger than usual personal piece for me the past few days, even to the point of choosing to not attend yesterday’s scheduled group call of ours, opened out. I felt to share a window of it, even as i’m still feeling a bit wobbly on some new-found legs, around it all.

A few days ago, I felt an energy in me frustrated with the pace of things ‘Why can’t spiritual growth be more instant? Why does it seem so foggy to truly remember who and what we really are? And when we do remember, why does it take so much process?’ I was also curious to have more of a visceral sense of my star-being self, (of who I am outside of this incarnation) as Jelelle and Kalayna have had open out for themselves recently. I felt a different tone to all of these energies and decided to journal with the voice of it that evening. A name came immediately as I did: ‘Rhodes’ which I later learned means ‘opening in the forest’ or ‘rose arden’. Rhodes told me that he was entrusted with keeping the veil of forgetfulness in place to make the whole earth-life thing doable. As I corresponded with him, negotiating with him to allow for a relaxation of this role of his in my life, he softened considerably and told me that I would feel an immediate shift and that I needed to be ready for it, as it can be quite destabilizing he told me. I was surprised by the sense of how much business we conducted in a short single journal session, but felt tired and that I needed to rest to hold what was coming.

That night, I had a dream where some men were sheeting a ceiling on a construction renovation project and it was clumsy as the house was unlevel and off square. A much more experienced guy walked in and offered that backing up and undoing the sheeting, correcting the settling first and starting over would be quite easy and much more effective in the long run. I took from that the guidance to be willing to let go of some ‘progress’ as well as some obvious struggle. Many times deconstruction is necessary in order to construct the life we really want. The valid thing we built before doesn’t fit where we want and need to go now.

The next morning, I had scheduled to take our dog Koda into the groomers for a much needed haircut and relief for the hot season. Between the language barrier and my desire to go through with this, and Koda’s protectiveness, I was left with having to leave him for the day, him maybe having to get a needle to sedate him as he can be bitey to strangers and especially groomers that don’t feel him. The clerk offered me a kennel to put him in and when I did, he resisted and I reassured him after feeling if this is what I should really do or not, and had to force him into the kennel. I then left, with Koda barking like crazy and me feeling quite uneasy about what was supposed to be a couple hour deal now stretching out into an all day affair with Koda having to be taken off site to some special groomers who can handle dogs who may bite. I had planned to hang out up town, but felt so uncomfortable for Koda that I went directly home thinking that Jelelle was going to say ‘You did what? OMG, we have to go and pick him up!’ Turns out Jelelle didn’t feel any of that and felt a trust about it all that I (and part of me) then rested into.

This then brought up the question about ‘why the big reaction in me?’. As I felt it, I was immediately brought back to feeling a visceral sense of moments in my life when I felt forced into a new context that I didn’t feel ready for, and into the pain of incarnation itself. I also recalled my early boyhood years with a dear friend that we used to play for hours alone together out in the woods in northern British Columbia. I recently learned that this area of Canada is known for considerable UFO activity, and I have been feeling into if my friend and I, and my fond memories are actually about a deeper connection with star-beings that were then obviously wiped from our memories. It only took a few moments of letting in all these feelings and i was immediately in tears. Jelelle of course supported me to go into the feelings. I took to my bed to weep out some of the most guttural tears I have ever had. The feelings ranged from anger at the necessary amnesia needed for our human earth-life journey, to realizing that I chose this, to feeling an overwhelming sense of love for the me who was forced into the many ‘kennels’ of human life. Later that evening, I was feeling into what this ‘Rhodes’ part of me was protecting so faithfully and I could feel the visceral sense of my star-being self. I happened to be corresponding with a man named ‘Andy’ that evening on facebook and I recalled how much I’ve always loved that name as ‘Andrew’ means ‘man,’ and it just felt right to call this emerging young part of me ‘Andy’ and see him as my star-being self.

So who’d have guessed that a trip to the dog groomer could bring up so much?! I of course recalled the familiarity of life circumstance coinciding with process and knew that none of this was random. Koda did make it home that evening, and although evidently he had been through alot, he was glad to be home, (although almost completely shaved, almost to the point of being unrecognizable, thanks again to the language barrier).

The next morning, (yesterday), was our scheduled group call and though I felt raw, I felt I could show up for the call as I’ve done lots of life while in process and feeling raw and have been shown how magical it can be to hold an emerging part of myself and take it into life with me as I do. As I lay in bed though and felt Andy, I felt how he didn’t want to show up for anyone, like doing the call would be stuffing him into the kennel. I was able to feel in all of my focus on service this life, particularly around showing up for public speaking, there has been a layer of self-consciousness that another part of me (Rhodes) has had to manage and suppress to keep things intact. This has left a layer of performing and unnaturalness with my service to others (though Jelelle assures me, it’s quite small) that when feeling Andy’s discomfort around people, feels quite big. Jelelle and Gabriel and Kalayna were more than equipped to do the call without me and I suspected there would be some corresponding reason for me not to be there as I chose to take Andy out on a wonder walk through town. (star-beings love to do that with you holding them)

Before heading out with Andy, I had to tend to Koda who had bouts of diarrhea and spitting up all night, feeling more of the trauma that he (and Andy) had both been put through, each on their respective timelines. As I was waiting for Koda to do his business, I looked up at the hillside and for the first time ever in our neighbourhood, I looked up at a mexican pheasant in flight heading our way as it flew into a nearby branch, lodged there a while and then flew again right across our field of vision putting on a little show for us with all of it’s beautiful colors. I knew it was a message and felt the love in it, but decided to google ‘pheasant animal totem’ to see what else might be there. I read about their magical power of attractiveness and pursuing what they want AND that they also know when to pull away and take respite for themselves. Okay, then, another message to pull away and be with myself (myselves).

I’m feeling, as i mentioned on some wobbly, but new legs in the world, feeling a very real aspect of myself, birthed out of the ‘amneasic sac’ of forgetfulness into being re-membered back into my conscious awareness. There’s a lot more to integrate it feels like, but I wanted to share this update as both Andy and Rhodes seem okay with me doing so as they both feel a new me here to hold them.

Turns out the group call went AMAZING without me, or maybe more like ‘with me being right where I was meant to be’.

Okay, back to digesting, …more pieces to put together…Thank you for feeling this with me, and may it give you a window into the magic of feeling your own parts.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to make a donation to support our work at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Unfolding And Transforming Through Emotional Process Work

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

lotus_etsy

This stunning artwork is by Julia Watkins

It’s a phase of unfolding and unfurling. A time of feeling through the constricted, tense places inside that have been protecting the most precious places and parts, the most vulnerable aspects of myself and my soul too. It’s personal and it’s not too. I feel how these new movements that reveal more going on at a deeper stratum inside “me” is also a reflection of the collective. This work builds bridges from me to me and also from me to you, making it so exciting to be with even though there are challenges too! It’s really about uncovering a LOVE bridge, built by and of love. This is a major motivator to keep going IN, remembering that it’s all about love anyways and in that, there can be no harm and no suffering, if love is truly, deeply let in in the process.

I’m venturing into deeper soul territory now, as my 3D emotional/pain body continues to heal. I feel like it’s unfolding like the petals of a flower. Like a lotus, the heart continues to open, growing UP from the mud felt and held and healed within. There is a part of me that I’m beginning to feel very poignantly, who wants to keep a hold on the soul frequencies and pain from emerging fully. She needs me first, it feels like, before much of that can be ventured into, which is fine. There is nothing linear about this process anyways, so it does feel like no matter what, all that I came into this life with the intention of healing, IS healing on a quantum level. Starting from the 3D roots of our humanity here and now, helps anchor us into a seabed that gives us the energy to keep traveling UP. To keep moving UP. I feel a deep honoring of my emotional body, “then” and NOW. I can see the messes and fires I’ve walked through. I can still smell the burning rubber of my inner Maserati, traversing the highways of self at an accelerated pace throughout my whole life so far.

As the intense throes of inner self-punishment and control, frequencies of “needing to KNOW and prove that I KNOW” continue to dissolve from my field more and more, I feel so much humility emerge around how parts of me have held life up ’til now.  It was so easy to slip into arrogance, awakening at a very young age and feeling my soul gifts start to emerge too. Nothing has been more humbling than letting myself NOT know and instead BE. BE with what IS inside of me, and inside of others. BE with others instead of merge with others. FEEL myself instead of cover it all over, which has helped me to actually feel others too. I have always been empathic, yes, yet a big lesson around this is that parts can use empathy to push away and not allow in genuine, heart-based compassion… unless these parts have first been filled up by your compassion for THEM

I feel as if I am “on my way”, whatever that means right now! A brand new life chapter is opening out now and I’m excited to be with all of you on it too…. however, whenever, wherever we connect. ❤

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Journeying Into The Reality Of A ‘New’ Part Of Us

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

 

journal

A sleepy day of process and generally being with myself… the discovery of a ‘new’ part to be with and heal led my day from this morning onward. Entering into the world of parts of us, especially parts we’re just starting to get to know, is a journey of traveling into a whole other dimension inside ourselves! Bringing your pen, journal and heart with you, you venture into your imagination and into the feeling tones of this part’s reality. Their reality can reflect long held memories in our bodies, hearts and souls. It is a place that has no age or time and they have lived there for who knows how long… sometimes they can even tell you! Sometimes there’s a sleepiness in the body and mind that comes into your being, as this journey, especially when just starting to feel a ‘new’ part, can be one of going into long-buried emotional territory and the heaviness is often palpable, somewhat hard to let in and digest.

This process began with an illuminating reflection, a mirror ‘held at an awkward angle’ as we say in SoulFullHeart, yet with love leading the way. This illumination is typically uncomfortable, yet the truth of it was undeniable inside of me… immediate *pings* of connection with this part began to emerge. From there, going in with a curious eye and heart was the invitation as I wandered forward into this now unveiled inner territory.

What amazes me almost every time I go in with a part, no matter how heavy or difficult they might fancy themselves to be, is the amount of relief that comes in just from feeling them, even in these first journal entries. They can heal quite quickly from this effort or sometimes they hold onto their pain for a bit longer. I have a journey with this part that’s unknown for now in some ways, though I can already feel where this may be going.

I wanted to invite you to gaze inside this window of starting a process with a part of you, to see if you can imagine yourself doing this too… there are so many of you who are courageously starting to do this through sessions with us in SoulFullHeart and THAT is incredible! It’s a process that has no limits to the depths that are possible, and all effort, sleepiness, openings and journalings are so, so worth it…

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.