Meet Your Inner Mother Guided Meditation – DAY 24: 33 DAYS DEEPEN W/ Jelelle Awen (VIDEO)

DAY TWENTY-FOUR: DEEPEN 33 Day Video Series – Meet Your Inner Mother Guided Meditation W/Jelelle Awen

This is day twenty-four of 33 in my daily video series called Deepen. In today’s video, I talk about and introduce you to another part that seems to develop in response to 3D life. Your Inner Mother is the energy inside that represents the templating you received from your birth mother (or other important female caregiver.) If your relationship with your birth mother is and has been challenging, difficult, conflictual, etc., this relationship LIVES inside you as well between your Inner Mother and other parts of you (usually the Inner Teenager and Inner Child.)

For women, getting to know and connect with their Inner Mothers allows for more compassionate flow and forgiveness INside….and also in relationships with other women and their birth mothers as well. It allows for understanding and healing of the trauma experienced in this relationship. Integration of your Inner Mother allows the healing of matriarchal 3D energies and arising into your sacred Venus Queen expression.

For men, getting to know their Inner Mother allows for more complete differentiation and individuation from their birth mothers. This frees up the transaction grounds with their female mate from mother projection tones and reactions to embrace a woman as a Venus Queen.

In the meditation today, Mother Mary holds the space for you to meet your Inner Mother. You first connect with your Inner Protector, who expresses to you about how the relationship with this part expresses with other parts of you. Your Inner Protector leads the way to your Inner Mother, who you meet and connect with….starting to get a sense of her world and experience.

Thank you for joining us on this twenty-four day of 33….as we move into Deepening energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

More about parts/Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

You can watch each video in the Deepen playlist on my SoulFullHeart Experience You Tube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist

I will be hosting a group session over Zoom to digest your experience during this series for a $11 USD minimum. The next one will be on Saturday, February 2nd at 11:00am PST. More info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/2189383564650970/

You are welcome to share your experiences of this guided meditation here on FB and I will respond to your sharings.

Jelelle Awen
1:1 bridging and ongoing sessions available with me for women over 25 and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators (Gabriel and Raphael with women/men and Kalayna with woman 25 and under) to deepen this connection with your Protector, Inner Child, Lemurian, and other precious parts/Metasoul aspects! More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

 

 

Lunar Eclipse Supports Feeling Shadow of Polarizations, Invites Unity

By Kalayna Colibri

Last night while witnessing the moon’s eclipse and feeling it hanging very close to my field, I was struck by a feeling of emerging sisterhood in my life and process, yet also the potential for it worldwide.

Yet… the temptation for many seems to still be that the way to unify is in anger. The way to find our common ground is to get pissed. To rage. To march. To condemn the masculine… in men yet also in each other. This is masculine versus masculine in the end, leaving the world inside and outside of us without any room for the sacred masculine AND feminine to unite and make love.

Pointing fingers, protesting, arguing without care of where and how it lands in each other is a phase of our relationship to each other that wants to move into something new. It’s a deep shadow expression of our fear of actually loving ourselves and each other. It’s a fear that the cycles of pain will continue while we continue to become a cog in the wheel, contributing to this cycle with that same fear. Real intimacy brings up a lot more than anger and push-away. It brings up tears and vulnerability, it brings up what’s underneath the rage and presses the heart to open in order to keep giving and receiving nourishment.

This picture of relationship I’m describing is not idealized or impossible… I get to live this every day, I get to be challenged by the presence of others who want to keep this flow going within themselves and with me, I get to feel and meet the challenge of continuing to move through my resistance to love and to keep letting it in… knowing full well that doing so means walking into fires of personal funeral pyres as the old way of approaching life and others passes away, and also knowing that it means getting to experience the heaven of a deeper and easier love flow than I’ve ever experienced before.

Even last night… sharing intimacy with my mate Gabriel, feeling his admiration of myself, my body, my heart and soul, I felt my admiration for his and let his male gaze into every pore. I felt so many tears come up and out like a fountain, feeling the pain of my soul and heart in relating to the masculine in ways that weren’t nourishing on either side and feeling afraid of it. Feeling the pain of a collective of women and what they’ve experienced and also the pain of the men who have not ever been initiated into how to make real love with a woman and what it feels like to be truly met or felt on their side either.

The more energy that’s spent in blame-game shaming and pushing away at each other, the less opportunities we create for the deep healing and nourishing intimacy that’s possible, that wants to bloom and blossom starting between parts of you that are polarized to each other but who want love more than anything else in this world. Starting to see and feel these dynamics within is the best and most profound way to shift what you draw in your outer relationships and what you start to see is really possible with each of them. ❤️

For support as you go into this territory and really feel how it all applies or could apply to you, my beloveds and I hold sacred session space for these explorations and more: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Ascension Energies Amplify And Support Inner Masculine Healing

This inner quest continues. The quest of the masculine to get to know itself. I use the pronoun “it” to denote an energy rather than a gender. This quest is fueled by curiosity and desire. Not a need to overcome, master, or fix. It wants to feel its power, its strength, and courage. It also knows there is the shadow to look at in response to that.

Recently there has been a mainstream appeal to what is being labeled as “traditional” or “toxic” masculinity and its effect on society. This is receiving praise as much as it is receiving ire. There is a masculine voice within some men that defends against a notion it is responsible for the ills of the world. It feels attacked and judged for the actions of certain individuals.

I can feel where this is true coming from a particular perspective, from this part I should say. As we are becoming more aware of what has been happening in the darkest parts of our collective, there is a rumbling that is occurring. There is a network of voices that are coming out to join forces against a very institutional, subtle, and not so subtle, part of our society. The wounded masculine is getting a light shined on it and it is very uncomfortable.

The reactions can come as far as saying that there is a war on men and that boys are going to be turned into weak and feckless adults. When I hear that all I can feel is this masculine’s judgment toward the feminine. Yes, I can see where boys and men are not inhabiting their power and are in need of heart-open initiation that offers them power WITH the feminine and not OVER the feminine. No, we are not all bad guys, but we have unconscious habits and perspectives that do need authentic and curious exploration if we are going to evolve as a society.

This rush to defense, to me, signifies a soul wound that is in deep protection. I think there is a legitimate caution to not create a generalization that takes us in some polarized reaction. I am not “one of those guys”, but I do know as part of the collective male/masculine psyche I do have things to feel into and uncover within myself. That is the next level for all of us to consider when we talk about ascension and healing. It is not a blame game, but a deep and serious look at what is at play underneath our hoods. This is equally true for women.

My desire is to create a healthy dialogue and personal invitation to what this exploration may reveal about ourselves and our nature as men. It is to take us into a new relationship with our masculinity AND our feminity. This is what I feel we are being offered by Love in all Its energy fluxes and activations. This is the year of the arising sacred masculine within all of us.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Inner Masculine/Feminine Balance Guided Meditation – DAY 15: 33 DAYS DEEPEN W/JELELLE & RAPHAEL AWEN (VIDEO)

DAY FIFTEEN: DEEPEN 33 Day Video Series – Inner Feminine & Masculine Balance

Guided Meditation W/Jelelle & Raphael AwenThis is day fifteen of 33 in my daily video series called Deepen. Today, my beloved and SoulFullHeart Facilitator Raphael Awen joins me to talk about inner feminine and masculine balance. Raphael shares about a process that he is holding with his inner masculine and feminine parts/aspects to explore where there is more doing, linear, and power driven masculine rather than a balance of masculine energy with feminine heart presence. Jelelle shares about how this applies to the inner masculine for women (as represented by the Protector.)

Energy Update: Invitation To Connect With Divine Mother/Father Through Personal Sun Chakra

By Kalayna Colibri

Today I feel a mix of energies coming in via our Personal Sun chakras, an Ascension chakra located about a foot above our heads. When I feel and see this chakra, I feel warmth as if I am laying in the sun’s rays at the beach or in a park. I see it swirl with bright white-golden hues and other colours too. Today, it feels very bright and present, offering us downloads and activations but a way to BE with them too.

The masculine energies from Divine Father are grounding and warming today… they are offering illumination through this chakra and also a feeling of being held and protected, while also offering the wisdom of non-action unless necessary, of taking the time to be with each arising moment. This isn’t something I’ve been very good at personally, yet the desire even in my own masculine aspect named Kaius, is to be in each arising moment fully immersed and fully present in heart.

The feminine energies from Divine Mother are spacious and compassionate today… they are offering space to feel the courage and the fear that comes up too when truly seeing all possibilities for ourselves and our relationships, when truly committing to our next steps as they appear before us. She offers, as always, space to be, to feel, to let in love and let go of what isn’t love, and to begin to know the difference as experienced and expressed by our own hearts. I feel my feminine aspect, Kathleen, letting this in today. Her heart is still raw from experiencing a renewed connection with Kaius and the new possibilities for them both in relationship to each other. She is usually very oriented to my outer relationships, especially romantic ones, and she is learning to pull back inward and look to Kaius for what she would normally want from an outer romantic partner.

On that note of sharing about my inner masculine and feminine aspects, I feel how these frequencies from Divine Mother and Father today are also illuminating next steps for the inner sacred union, the one that is most important in our lives, the one that needs the most attention, compassion, and love as well as undying curiosity to keep feeling what’s happening within it. This is what shifts all outer relationships, which can feel scary but exciting, both. The possibilities for new alchemy too is strong once you feel how these two aspects are relating (or not relating) to one another.

Connecting with your own Personal Sun chakra today feels like the invitation… to feel what wants to download to you, what next steps you may need illuminated for your own inner healing process, and to just plain feel how loved you ARE, right here, right now. ❤️

Much love!

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Quest For Soul

I am not sure if every man (or woman’s masculine) feels the draw for a quest, but I can feel that desire inside of me. I remember my friends and I played all sorts of games that sparked the imagination and sent us to far off lands, both fantastically and galactically. Of course, there was always a battle where we would arise victoriously or fall in defeat.

However, the shift has turned inward. The outer battles getting old and tired. The fantasy turned to a hardened reality. I chose to go on a new quest where I wanted to end the battles within and find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. What I have learned is that the quest IS the pot of gold.

There is an epic world and story inside of us comprised of conditioning, beliefs, and experiences that have formed our current perception and feelings toward ourselves and Other. These energies are held as players in our Grand Play. We get to go back to the playground of our youth and use that free imagination to re-member our selves back into Wholeness. However, this quest is full of facing our deepest wounds and our darkest sides, in many realms of our interdimensional existence.

We are not out to battle them, defeat them, or deal with our “shit”. We are meant to outfit ourselves with the power of Love and go find these wounded, scared, angry, and powerful parts of ourselves. They are the real target of our INtentions. We go find their stories and see how they have manifested themselves in our lives. It is a real-life soap opera right inside of us. Though the point is to heal the suffering and eventually end the long-running show.

You are much grander and joyful than you may be currently feeling in this current consciousness. Turning the gaze and quest inward is a remarkable journey that, when leaned into and deepened, can provide the Next Level of your passion, purpose, and both inner and outer romance. As we each make our way, we all make our way.
******

If you have not taken in Jelelle Awen’s 33 Day series, I would highly recommend it. It is the springboard for your own inner quest. It is better than Netflix because you are the writer, director, and star of the show. It can provide a lot of awareness to what may have been hidden or just plain afraid to face. As you follow the journey there will be checkpoints along the way to digest all you have taken in. There are two group meetings over Zoom scheduled for Janurary 12 and February 2. You can access this series on her page or on our YouTube channel here:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvLiLpw1qSOmQE-tsqhGSAD3&fbclid=IwAR0TxtgJfEYn206g83GiaCFctfCk0Z10XxTS0DUPM670JIJZYUpW83IaTHI

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

New Year Energies Offer New Relationship Within

“It is not freedom from pain,suffering, or despair that you seek, but rather a relationship to it.”

This is a reiteration of a message I received last year at this time that has come back to illuminate itself to me once more. In working with others and recalling my own past movements, there were pivotal moments where the merging with the heavy and the dark seemed almost inescapable. We were one.

Fortunately, I had an other heart and soul that stayed connected to me energetically so that I could have the courage and lifeline to just stay one ounce bigger than the feeling itself. It was not about transcending it but rather holding and relating to it as an aspect of myself, one that just felt like it was me.

I just had the beautiful blessing to offer that to another through email and energy exchange. It is hard to feel another in deep need and being asked for some relief. It is obviously natural to want to help the alleviation. However, something sacred is short-circuited in the process.

It is about advocating for this part of us, the Dark One, to be held by our human heart. It is about being okay with not being okay. It is about just trying to feel yourself in the room with it. The more you can show up for it, in whatever capacity, the more they feel willing to let go and lean in.

This is not an easy process. It can feel scary and uncertain. Yet feeling the Love of Other, in what ever form that may take, gives that one ounce separation needed to give rise to this relationship.

The Dark One has a name. It has a story. It has a need and a gift. As the moon energies approach in the month of January, they may illuminate this energy inside. I feel them supporting the connection and the remembrance of this being into your consciousness. It is a brand new way to be WITH the pain rather than merging with it. That is a hero’s journey.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Returning To Divine Mother: A Poem

By Kalayna Colibri

To truly let Her in… you become the poet and the dancer of heart and the deep journeyer of soul.

To truly let Her in… the sword is dropped as you surrender to the embrace of a love and acceptance you’ve forgotten you were worthy of.

To truly let Her move you… means burning away that which doesn’t align as you surrender to the fire of boundary-setting (with care) and the illumination of that which has been in shadow.

This is what it means to be with the Divine Mother in all of her forms and faces… and to begin to understand that you are part of that too.

Much love! ❤️

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Gratitude For Divine Mother In All Her Forms

By Jelelle Awen

Feeling so grateful for my connection with the Divine Mother in this moment. Her steadiness, Her consistency, Her holding of the match when certain configurations in life need to burn…..and Her BEing the balm of comfort afterwards. I have been so blessed to experience these frequencies of Her for many years now, just deepening in experience as I BEcome more Her too.

Divine Mother is my inspiration in this moment as I move through a challenging, yet very growthful phase in my life. She is there in whatever form I need Her whenever I close my eyes in meditation. She is there during the tears that are flowing of sadness, gratitude, and realization. This morning, She was sweet Maggie for me, Magdalena sister of the heart and soul. I have gotten so much comfort from Her as Maggie….feeling like I am part of an important sisterhood that I can always return back to again.

She is my challenger in this moment too in Her Dark Mother/Kali form. She destroys only to allow for the NEW to arise. She reveals what is painful only so that it can move back into love again. She presses only to support the labor pains that are already happening in order to birth the NEW.

She is there as Mother Mary for me and for you….for any parts of you that need the energies of COMPLETE acceptance, forgiveness, and reflection of your innocence in order to heal. Her energy as Mary so often comes through in sessions with women, offering support to the Inner Child and Inner Teenager parts of them in pain, especially those who have experienced sexual abuse traumas. She is the GREAT caregiver in this form and I feel honored in these moments to be her channel.

Divine Mother….in whatever forms you most need…is waiting for your heart cry, your need, and your vulnerability. As you are brave enough (as this is the TRUE expression of power….to surrender to vulnerability) and your Protector/Gatekeeper can drop the guarding enough….then you can let Her in and receive what you are most deeply needing.

And eventually you can BEcome Her more and more….both women and men as fits your soul expression….not as an impersonal Goddess or a fierce female warrior…yet simply AS love that always burns, always grows, and always sustains, expressing through your very human heart and infinite soul.

You can experience Divine Mother frequencies flow through and toward you during 1:1 sessions with me. Sessions are available during this holiday season too and to gift to others for $55 USD min. donation for 90 life changing and heart altering minutes. More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

I received this beautiful testimonial just today from a bridging session that I did yesterday and wanted to share as I feel the Divine Mother had MUCH to do with this result: “Thank you for such a beautiful and uplifting session… It helped me so much. I woke up this morning still feeling the relief and openness in my heart. It feels like my mission can also open up more from now onwards. The session was exactly right and exactly what I needed. Thank you for your Being!” Zureida

Beautiful Divine Mother Image is from Inner Voice Art: https://www.etsy.com/…/1…/the-eternal-feminine-great-mother…

Jelelle Awen

A Bridge To The SOULstice: The Sacred Well Of Our Vulnerability

On this list of reflective explorations that I am feeling into on the way to the SOULstice, I feel that the Heart is the most complex and challenging to go into alongside our social connections. It is the realm of our truth and our deepest desires and passions. It has been the one that I have personally had my biggest challenges with. Being aware of and expressing out what is real in the heart domain.

In the vastness of awakening and ascension transmissions, the heart and emotions can seemingly be covered over as something to transcend or bypassed. There is a deep protection of the Heart and Its Truth due to so much wounding that has occurred in this life and other lives, past, present, and future. Being vulnerable to what we are feeling and experiencing is a maturation process that I feel we are all a part of on this global and galactic journey. We are all in need of growing up in this department, some less or more than others.

The time of the SOULstice offers an invitation to feel what is true inside of our emotional body. The frequencies we dip into in reaction to all sorts of circumstances very much affect our ability to let in and express love. It is the messiness of our truth-telling that opens portals, completes old patterns and creates opportunities for deepening and expansion. It brings us to the edge of what really matters the most…what is the most poignant (thank you, Kalayna).

I am still in the healing and feeling curve when it comes to this one. I feel it is for a lot of men, and the masculine in women both. There is so much that we don’t know about ourselves because we haven’t given ourselves the permission, or feel the safety of, going into the depths of what is our truest North. Parts of us can easily accept the goodness of being content and “better than it was”. This may be a necessary phase in order to heal. But it is also a time to gather strength for the next levels of our truth, the beacon of our own light.

It is a time for exploring and feeling the wounds and protection around your inner voice. During this time of gathering with others, you can become aware of the triggers and reactions within and just notice the mechanisms that keep your truth at bay. There are self-loving reasons for it and those are honored. Then there are parts of the journey in which you begin to express more of what is moving through and in your heart, whether they appear “right” or “rational”.  This is done in negotiation with your Inner Protector. 

Some questions to ponder are:

*How does it feel inside of me when I have a truth to tell that I don’t feel comfortable to express?
*What is good about keeping reactions and vulnerability at bay?
*How was relating to emotions modeled to me in my family and what impact does it have on me now?
*If you are one who is free to speak your truth, what energy do you feel is underneath the truth-telling? Is it compassionate, charged, matter-of-fact?

The emotional body is like an untapped, unexplored well of parts, held by the Inner Protector, and Metasoul aspects that are in deep need of being felt and integrated. The most spiritual people in the world are only as mature as their emotional bodies, hence the news of some leaders being exposed in very unsightly circumstances. Our spiritual ascension is in concert with our emotional ascension. Going into this well certainly provides the fuel for the growth that our souls, beloveds, and star families are longing for us to embody and model for the universe at large. We are the truth we have been waiting for.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  

Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.