Category: Divine Connection

‘You Are Ascending’: Holding Compassion And Curiosity In Your Journey

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

You are ascending…

If you had a deep cry, a thrashing fit, or a sense of Oneness… you are ascending.

If you feel lost, like the world is going to hell, or you see the arches of the New Earth….you are ascending.

If you can’t get out of bed, can’t wake up, or can’t get to sleep…you are ascending.

If timelines are colliding, collapsing, and being challenged…you are ascending.

If you feel like you are swimming upstream, downstream, or not at all…you are ascending.

The only key is to be curious, keep asking, and keep feeling

-Message from the Angels

In my last Facebook post, I shared a message from what felt like an angelic/divine/star-being source. A message from ‘the other side’ a part of me would call it. . It had a lot of resonance with people. It struck a chord in many hearts in many different ways. It came to me after I was checking in with my emotional body. A coming together of my inner 3D and 4D aspects that have been a part of my healing journey lately. Calling them to the Round Table of my Higher Heart, my inner Camelot…a very 5D New Earth vibration.

In that check-in, I could feel a part of me that had a question about whether or not we were ‘ascending’. Even a question as to what Ascension really is. I felt to hold that in my heart and give it to my Higher Self, the Divine, and my angelic/star family. I let that go and just felt all the timelines in which being ‘not enough’ was a theme. Inviting my metasoul aspects to join me in a sacred space of Enough, Full, and Perfect. In that space, you can feel both Presence and The Gap.

In that higher space, whatever feels ‘missing’ or ‘lacking’ becomes a journey and a discovery. It becomes a quest of compassionate curiosity that is not devoid of feeling but going full-frontal into it. The feeling is something that resides within us and can also have external expressions. Many people remarked of not being seen by others, coping with intense emotional swings, and just needing to hear and feel some words of validation and encouragement. It became so evident that we need others in this quest of self-discovery, healing, and becoming.

Going into my emoto-spiritual body was my ‘how’. It was using imagination, intuition, and heart to create the sacred space…along with pen, paper, and music. This creative concert of feeling myself as a sum of parts and transmuter of timelines is the heart and engine of how I heal myself in this divine work that we are co-creating. It is an ongoing process that finds all the places where we need the healing to expand and grow into what our divinity is waiting for us to show up for. Sometimes the healing is hard, but this is why having another to lean into, not rely on, is so important.

I offer my heart space to you to feel what wants to be expressed and felt within you that may be hard for you to feel on your own. We offer bridging sessions that apply what we do in our own healing to see where you may have parts that are resisting, for good reason, the love that wants to come to you through these ongoing waves of ascension energies. 

My love goes to all that are moving through major shifts and changes right now. It can be a very bumpy road for some and I feel you in all of that.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Grief As A Gift: Bridging Our Humanity To Our Divinity

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

After an experience I had with my beloved Kalayna yesterday (which I will write about later after we digest it more together), and a heartful conversation I had with an FB friend I was inspired to write about the feeling of Grief.

Grief is a profound experience in the wake of Loss. It opens the heart to the bedrock of our humanity and our divinity. It can be where the two join hands. Ultimately in our highest heart and soul essence, there is no loss, just a death and rebirth, a transmutation of energy. Of course, the circumstance and specifics of the loss can be quite jarring and extremely painful. To lose a child or other loved one in a tragic way holds so much energy than if it were in a natural one. Tragic grief is one that has so many dimensions to it that needs the time and space necessary to be as real and expressive as possible.

Grief is held by parts of us for so many reasons. It can be an inner child or teenager, inner shame and guilt, rage, and/or hurt. It is held in our SOULullar memory as another lifetime in our Metatsoul that may have multiple experiences of that same circumstance playing out. Holding the grief as a part of you, even as you are in the throes of the pain, helps to offer love to it from a different place as opposed to being the grief itself. You can move with it. Love it. Learn from it. Grow from it. It is actually a gift as it opens the heart into realms that were previously hidden and unconscious.

You can arise out of the ashes of grief with a renewed sense of surrender, acceptance, purpose, and self. You can feel yourself as divinely connected to Source, and even the expression of Source Itself. It is not meant to be a suffering loop or to be glossed over with any numerous distractions. The fear of getting sucked up by grief is what keeps the pain in place. That is another protective part not wanting you to feel any more pain than you already have in this and other lives. That is tender to feel and yet is also important to negotiate with this part how much you really want and need to feel and heal, once and for all.
This experience may be the most alive that many of us have ever felt. That is the gift in it as well. It offers a permission to feel all the pent-up rage, hurt, rejection, and existential pain. It is cathartic and transmutative. So as we focus on the joyous side of being Alive on this day of 5/5, there is also the sorrow side that gifts us what joy truly feels like in contrast. And for that, we honor it and love it just as we would any other emotion that helps us to authentically feel our humanity.

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Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Journal To The Demiurge – Day 1

Published on by Raphael Awen1 Comment

Journal To The Demiurge with Raphael Awen Day 1

By Raphael Awen

I have been guided to undertake a journaling journey of an ambassadorship to connect with the Demiurge. The Demiurge is the Christian male ‘God’, who is also known as Jehovah or Yahweh in the Bible.

The Gnostics, whose writings were discovered in 1945 at a place called Nag Hamadi in upper Egypt, brought to us many new gospels that were not included in the Christian Bible and it was they who, following Platonic philosophy, related to the Christian ‘Yahweh’ as the ‘Demiurge’. This term ‘Demiurge’ is taken from Latin words meaning the ‘artisan, producer, or creator’. This creator of the material world sought to rule with dominance and required duty and obligation as its main offering of how to form a relationship with itself. The 4th century Roman version of Christianity, then crafted Jesus into this need for blood sacrifice required by the Demiurge, leaving Christian followers under a strong dominance of duty and control, aligning quite well with the Roman agenda.

I know the Christian God very well from a Christian perspective, having journeyed through my childhood along with 26 adult years as a devout Christian before I came to finally and openly renounce ‘Jesus as my personal savior’ in 2005, and from there to re-feel my entire relationship with ‘God’ or the Divine.

Please join me now as I feel called to set out through a daily journal journey to create an Ambassadorship from within to meet with and communicate with this Demiurge, Yahweh, or Jehovah.

What will we find? I truly don’t know, but I so want to find out, and I’m being supported to undertake this journey, feeling my trepidation as I go.

Your reading and feeling this journey with me as it unfolds daily will create the vehicle of approach, kind of like signatures on a petition to gain audience with a King. Your participation along with mine, changes the journey, as well as the outcome.

Here is day one, launched on this auspicious solstice day:

~

Raphael: This is Raphael. I’d like to connect with my highest and most familiar guides, Archangel Metatron and Merlin, my Unicorn, to inquire about guidance to form an Ambassadorship to the Demiurge, or whom the Christians know as Yahweh, or Jehovah. Metatron, and Merlin, will you speak with me?

Metatron: Yes, Raphael. It feels good to connect with you, and with what desires are brewing for you. What are you feeling?

Raphael: This desire has arisen in me in the form of an idea, a mental contemplation, along with a curious desire to explore, and to really change my world and experience, yet further. This idea is expanding to feel like guidance and a calling. Then comes doubts and questions. Do I know what I’m getting myself into? Do I really want to mess with the Demiurge? Then I feel all the lifetimes and time this life I have dedicated to Yahweh, how familiar I am with his temple worship and communities, and it feels quite doable, somehow. Part of me does wonder though what preparations or confirmations I should gather prior to undertaking such a quest.

Metatron: Raphael, this is a worthy quest, and a weighty one. It is worth all the preparation and guidance that you need. It is worth feeling through any and all resistance or fears that come from within, or without. I would be so honored to feel you and guide you every step of the way.

Raphael: Metatron, what can you even tell me about the Demiurge? Are you familiar with it? Do you feel it as a person, as an Archetype, as a collective consciousness? I’d like your take on that?

Metatron: Raphael, if I could answer that, there really would be no need to explore, would there? The short answer to your QUESTion is that even I don’t know. If I did, I could just share with you what I know and voila, problem solved. I am into supporting you and taking this journey with you. I, like you, can feel the Demiurge as a powerful dominating energy that has suppressed humanity and your planet into a sleepy slumber in prolonged forgetfulness. I know that it feeds off of people’s worship and surrender to it, and that it is never satiated, always wanting and needing more like an addict.

Raphael: Like it’s wanting and needing an intervention of some kind?

Metatron: It’s wanting and needing something, that’s for sure. It has been center stage in humanity’s consciousness and subconsciousness seeking immortality. If it is ready to make or entertain change, then that would be so cool to assist it with.

Raphael: It doesn’t sound like you feel afraid of it?

Metatron: I respect it. I know it has power, but I don’t fear it. If I feared it, I could not reach out to it.

Raphael: How is it that you don’t fear this powerful being or energy?

Metatron: I come in service of love, from which all consciousness, even that which polarized to dark or evil energies, gets its authorization. Love is the author of all. My truth is that there is no real evil, only that which hasn’t yet experienced the feeling of love as an energy. If something negative ‘happens’ to me, it happens to me under the authorization and permission of love, for me to learn and feel something that I haven’t felt yet, and need to feel.

Raphael: Is there still stuff you need to feel?

Metatron: Feel and Heal is still the Deal, Raphael. That is the journey back to source. I’m still not sure what happens when and if we are ever done with that, but like you, I’m curious as hell.

Raphael: Hell is curious isn’t it? and so is Heaven. They both want to know and feel more.

Metatron: That’s like the itch of consciousness itself, expressed in every expression of consciousness, including the time and space domains.

Raphael: I’m liking how easy it feels to connect with you.

Metatron: Good, because we’re going to need to get comfortable if we are going to undertake this mission together.

Raphael: Which I haven’t officially declared yet, still baking on the guidance and gathering the energy in my desire body I’d call it, and calling in all favors too from you and Merlin.

Metatron: I’m curious what Merlin has to say?

Raphael: Me too, Merlin, what say you? If that’s enough intro for you?

Merlin: Whoah, a freakin’ journey to the Demiurge with Raphael and Metatron. I’m in!

Raphael: That easy? No concerns or hesitations?

Merlin: What’s there to lose, Raphael?

Raphael: As I feel this QUESTion in your familiar presence and broadcasting energy field, Merlin, I can feel there is a whole lot to lose, here in the earth zone, which we’ve been waiting and wanting to lose for an awful long time, which makes all of the losses gains. I can feel though that life as we’ve known it, personally and collectively, would have huge shifts internally and externally if this were to shift, and this can feel like genuine deep losses for the parts of us attached to life as we’ve known it, regardless of how much suffering there is in what is being given up.

Merlin: Now I’m taking in your broadcast energy field Raphael… I’m sorry for the intense pain you and your fellow humans have felt under the Demiurge’s reign. I don’t get to feel that much as I don’t live in that energy. It feels so sad, now that I feel it….so much time stretched out to magnify this feeling.

Raphael: Maybe, Merlin, what you and I are feeling is being broadcast from the unfelt heart of the Demiurge itself, the emptiness, a universe-sized heart cry expressing in a compensational need to have dominion as a placeholder in love’s absence?

Merlin: THAT,…finding out what is or isn’t true about that would be worth all the worth there is, I’d say.

Raphael: You have a way of making your point.

Merlin: funny, and true!

Raphael: Wow, Merlin and Metatron, as we are connecting about this, I so feel it expanding in me. I so need the journal pieces here, one line and word, one feeling at a time to let this in.

Metatron: What’s going in, Raphael?

Raphael: A desire to undertake this journey…, to gather all the necessary resources and do it. I so feel bored with anything less, truth be told. I’ve lived lifetimes, as well as 26 adult years of life, this life, up until 12 years go, dedicated to the Christian God, and have come to feel suspect of his origins, how he/it co-opted our innate connection to source. All of this moving in me is coming from a recent deepening with my Gatekeeper, named Rhodes, whom I feel to introduce tomorrow, and allow all this intention and desire to bake.

Metatron: This journey is so worth all the time and process it takes. I so want to feel Rhodes take on all this too.

Raphael: How do you feel Metatron about sharing this journey in real time?

Metatron: You are speaking my language now, Raphael. I so feel that it has traction and realness when it is felt and digested in more hearts. This is a big collective piece of wounding and it needs a big collective heart to create an Ambassadorship to it. It’s a collective heartache wounding that can only heal collectively. Without mounting a posse of hearts, there isn’t enough substance to bridge to the dimension where this pain lives. Sharing this with supportive and open hearts will create this.

Raphael: And sharing it publicly also puts it out there for those, human and not, who are invested with the Demiurge to see it too, right?

Metatron: It’s only fair to let them all know we wish audience, to let them acclimate to where we are coming from. Better they see us coming than taking anyone by surprise. We have nothing to hide.

Raphael: I can tell you wish to say something Merlin, you’re broadcasting again…

Merlin: I am?…ah, yeah, that’s what I do, don’t I? The universe is waiting is what I’m feeling. My god! We get to do this…., really. Holeeee! Can you tell, I’ve wanted to do this since my teenage years in earth life. This is going to take me back to where I can’t even know right now. And that’s what makes it so worth it. This has waited till such a time as this, and till such a heart as yours Raphael, could lead the way. We haven’t had the emotional heart porosity that real ambassadorship is about, but we do now, in you.

Raphael: I do have to wade through some 3D senses of myself in order to let in your perspective of me, but I can feel the truth of what you speak to, Merlin. I have journeyed to open my heart out of a conscious hunger for love, and feel called to share this, even enough to self authorize.

Merlin: Which is the only true authority there is, that which flows from the universe and rings true in one’s own heart. No one can certify you in this. It’s either true for you, or it’s not. After all, it’s you that needs to walk it out, not an organization or a governing hierarchy. That’s the way of the Demiurge that we need to gain audience with.

Raphael: Okay, I’m feeling to take this up again tomorrow, to allow this to digest, and to let in more confirmation and guidance. Standby all, and deepest gratitude for this cocreation.

~ Join me tomorrow for this continuing journey! ~

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.

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Day 4 ~ Journal To The Demiurge

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

Journal To The Demiurge with Raphael Awen Day 4

By Raphael Awen

(This is Day 4 of an ongoing series, to begin at day 1, go here: https://goo.gl/CgrWXZ)

Raphael: Top of the morning crew! Beautiful Motley Crew! It’s 4:44 am on December 24, and I’m feeling good to go again, running on some new high octane adrenaline. How is everyone else doing?, who wants to check in?

Rhodes: Hello Everyone. This is Rhodes. I’m liking the recap yesterday, Raphael, that you started in on of your earliest journey into the whole God awareness thing, which was also my earliest journey this life of awakening. I’m hoping you’ll continue on those stories. I know I was there for all of that, but there is a way, I never felt any of that then. I just was that. What I’m feeling now is the comparison of one on hand, the backdrop of our desires to go to new and expanded places of consciousness that we can’t even quite name or fathom yet, though it’s fun to try for sure, compared with this tension of feeling the past, and overlaying it onto the future, side by side in the Now, and somehow that opens a portal, an entry portal. And until we feel the so called past, then we aren’t done with it. The whole point of the past was the feeling of it, so if we haven’t felt it, we’re not done with it, or it isn’t done with us, and is very much in the Now. That’s what I’m feeling.

Merlin: Rhodes, you’ve been totally holding out on us. That is some really cool shit. The drama of our stories are a storehouse of magic that we’ve collectively been afraid of up till now. The magic contained in our stories gets activated the more we are willing to feel it, but most fear the unknown of their own magic and where it wants to take them. I’m dying to have some fun, and this challenge before us of attempting to connect with the Demiurge feels as exciting as it gets. I do get the need to feel the past, to dial it into the present, to let the past time-travel into the Now, where there is a curious heart for it to land in that wasn’t there before. Hell, take me for instance, I didn’t even know I existed up until recently, till Raphael was willing to realize my reality, bridge me into his dimension, so I could feel my own dimension and then bridge between the two.

Raphael: My goodness, I have to like pause for minutes after one of you speaks to let in the bandwidth of the frequencies you are vibrating at, and even then, I’m hesitant to break the spell. How cool that is! It adds to the adrenaline I’ve been on the past few days adjusting to these new frequencies, since all this started and it is really exciting. Metatron, I have to ask your input before I go back to my journey…

Metatron: I’m luvin’ it. I’m loving the feeling and healing space here. I know all of us have questions about how we are going to gain audience with the Demiurge, and then wondering what his demeanor towards us will be, if and when we do gain audience, and I’m feeling in all of that, a ‘not-knowing our way to knowing’. It’s so freeing to admit our cluelessness and just want what we want. I’ve learned that from watching you actually, Raphael, over and over again, and I never get tired of the lesson. It always comes out in the wash.

Raphael: Morning love fest! Thank you. I’ll take that, with room for more. Yumm.

I’m feeling to ask if there’s any trepidation in the room about us talking so freely about the Demiurge. I mean yesterday, who was it, Jim, right, went off about the Bible being horseshit, and then it went a bit downhill from there…even got Merlin swearing…

Rhodes: I’ll take the bait on that one if I may again. I’m still taking in and remembering what you said Metatron from day one that everything, and everyone, and every last stitch of consciousness, gets its lease from love to have existence. That I feel includes the Demiurge, though it’s taken me a while to get there. If that’s true, that even he’s made of love, then he’s just what we see as a strange pretzeled version of love somehow, that we haven’t figured out yet. I’ll bet, we look kind of strange to him too for that matter, so if he needs to make jokes about us, to himself and his cohorts, like we are about him, then I say that’s all good. I just don’t feel like he’s some big boogeyman that has the power to cave the roof in on our heads for talking freely.

Okay, that was a bit spacious, because not all of me is liking him by any means. He’s fucked over humanity for a long time and that shit needs to stop. Sorry, I just can’t use pretty language to talk about the pain. I still feel a lot of anger for sure about the journey it’s taken to come to this place of a bit of space around my anger.

Raphael: Wow, Rhodes, you nailed a bunch right there. That answered the tension really well, and opens it out too. Thank you.

So, with that then, I think I’ll pick up for a bit from where I left off. This story telling to an interested and curious audience, in all of your ears and in the ears of the Demiurge itself, is moving something in me.

Let’s see, where was I before Jim took over yesterday with his Holy Horseshit Bible comparisons?

Merlin: You were leaving the family church for the chandelier swinging one.

Raphael: Yes, thank you. So I get myself settled into this new church and Bible School, riding my bicycle across town each morning. About 6 or 7 Months later, one bright soul and beautiful woman in the church (whom I’ll call Mar-yam as that name seems to fit her soul) and I get together over some volunteer mission efforts doing graphics in the church office and we hit the ground running. I’m a bit surprised, but it so answers a palpable loneliness that a part of me was consciously wrestling with. Our first date feels great over some higher end pizza. We talk openly and get ourselves squared away on the no-sex thing, even to the point of theorizing together that kissing is a form of sex and that its rightful ‘god ordained’ place is in the context of engagement, as in engaged to be married. I admit, I came up with that one.

So, what we dredged up was that dating is the rightful context for the spirit to come together; engagement is the place for the souls to come together; and marriage is the place for the bodies to come together. We took the whole ‘no sex before marriage’ thing to way overblown proportions that no one was pushing on us. Looking back, it’s so apparent that the one place the parts of us were resonating around was a big discomfort in our sexuality, again, pawning it off as ‘dedication to God’ for safekeeping.

I mentioned yesterday the earlier 11 month relationship from my previous church setting where the bliss so suddenly ended, that was a year or so prior to this one now emerging with Mar-yam. I see now that the undigested pain of not being able to grieve the loss of that earlier bliss, made a part of me feel I had disappointed or displeased God somehow. Her name was Cheryl, and Cheryl and I had kissed like there was no tomorrow, and we must have gotten outside of ‘Gods Order’ somehow, or it wouldn’t have ended so painfully. I so wanted this new relationship to have God’s blessing, as part of me felt there was no room to go through another loss on this level, ever. No room for any more trial and error. Why suffer in error when you can have God’s truth instead?

We had each of our wired-up woundings resonating like two tuning forks that so played into each others dynamics, but also our leading edge desires and dreams were also resonating for sure. An easy closeness and trust unfolded inside of these extra-safe self-imposed boundaries we charted out together. Maryam confided her pain early on around intense sexual abuse by her dad, and a wandering into some sexual promiscuity as a result that preceded her reach out to God.

We shared a big excitement to make our lives ‘really count for God’. Maryam had also recently abandoned an attempt at joining a catholic convent in line with her families church background, and so we both felt excited about being in this new, very different, cutting edge church and bible school that was so set to really go places and achieve big things for God. Maryam was also the church secretary and led aspects of the church services and was a personal friend of the Pastors to boot. We wanted more than anything to serve as teachers and leaders in an adventurous foreign missionary kind of setting, with our new church’s brand of excitement and passion.  ‘Please, God, anything but aimless western living and its values and boredom’.

I’ve since been able to feel several parts of me, and parts of my Metasoul too, who were activated at this time in my life with all the new beginnings. Part of me privately fancied itself more than anything being a great preacher, able to cast spells, of the godly variety, over audiences. I had also completely abandoned before entering bible school, a tech school trajectory where I was fixing to get a technicians certificate for drafting or surveying, to upgrade the kind of work I was doing. God, and the world didn’t need another draftsman. It needed a preacher with the truth! My employer must have agreed, because when things slowed down slightly, I was let go shortly after being talked to for distributing religious ‘tracts’ in the office.

With all those juices flowing right along between Maryam and I, along with the ‘no kissing while dating’ rule, it was only a month before we kissed, and so we both agreed that we were now engaged. We crossed over the line we set for ourselves. She was 24, and I was 21, and we were married after a 5 month engagement with lots of sanctioned kissing. It was a long road to my inner teenager finally getting laid, and to ‘giving my virginity to God’, and to my wife, but it felt great, it felt so right, and with God’s guarantee and blessing to boot! We never looked back, for a long time, until we did, some 20 years later.

Wow…

Metatron: What are you feeling, Raphael?

Raphael: yeah…. feel and heal, feel and heal…

Metatron: I’m just vibing again what I learned from you…

Raphael: Thank you Metatron, time to digest a bit here isn’t it?

As I’m sharing this story, it’s changing me on the inside again. I’m feeling the part of me then, very present in this Now, Marvin, as I was named then, and have since differentiated and gotten to know as a part of me, who so wanted so much, and wanted to bargain with God to get that ‘so much’, who was also afraid to get anything less. ‘I’ll give you all this God, if you’ll give me that’.

I’m also feeling how much pain Marvin carried inside of his bones too that began around being conceived inside of the cocoon of my mom’s deep and unmoving depression, from his very conception, born into my mom’s lineage of feminine suppression under a patriarchal God, with a patriarchal dad, and a patriarchal husband, and a mom and entire social world in similar lockdown. I know that by the time Marvin made it through the gauntlet of his teens, through the these sudden shifts, he wanted to find the ‘lying down in green pastures’ spoken of in Psalm 23. He wanted to find the way to live that was blessed and guaranteed by God. He was so stunningly surprised that the adult world was actually this fucked up, and no one was doing anything about it, though he had now parted with that kind of language, and anything else that could be remotely considered a vice.

Marvin has since gone on to transmute into my Inner Child, and then my Magical Child, and even beyond as I feel him mostly now in my Star-seed Galactic Self that arose recently whom I call Andy. We sometimes sing our own version of the familiar Sunday School song ‘Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am his own’, which is kind of a perfect digestion of all that God seeking churchy feelings of how it was connection with our own being we were seeking the whole time. We couldn’t see that for what it was and so we arranged for ‘God’ to hold that for safekeeping.

Merlin: Andy is like the friggin’ best! He knows fun and wonderworld walking like no one I know. If you want to go play, call on Marvin, or Andy rather, or both! Let’s get this party started in here.

Raphael: I know right. It’s a bit serious in here isn’t it, but I just have one more piece to feel today and it gets to the heart of this journey to face the Demiurge.

Merlin: Okay, that’s good too, I’m sure it will lead to fun eventually.

Raphael: I think so too, Merlin, and thank you for your patience… 🙂

The piece that is dawning in me, and on me, is feeling how much I, and my beloved parts of me shaped God in my own image, even created this creator being. Granted, It was my family conditioning this life that got me up and running with this set to my sails, but I needed to shape this God into a spaceholder of my Higher Self that I couldn’t consciously yet see or feel inside my own heart.

I’m looking for the right words to put around this…

I mean in the sense that I was afraid of my own heart and its capacity to feel. I know that wasn’t just about this life’s wounding though this life wounding was also needed to backlight it all in order for it to come to the light of day.

You could say, I used God, projected onto God, the Demiurge, my unconscious sense of my Higher Self.

Metatron, can you help me out here, what am I trying to put words around?

Metatron: What I feel it as is kind of simple. You made God into the monster that he had no choice but to become; becoming dis-eased with a greatness that he, and it, was unable to bear, having neither earned it, nor being worthy of it. And as they say ‘power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely’. You, along with the rest of us, made the Demiurge into an ‘absolute authority’; an ‘outside of us’ projection of our innate perfection and power, that we couldn’t yet relate with. That’s enough to cook anyone’s goose.

Raphael: Wow, when you put it that way, it makes me feel like I owe him an apology…

Metatron: …something to feel into, for sure. We all did this though, Raphael . And we all need to face the monster of our own creation.

Raphael: And what if there’s only a few of us ready to begin that?

Metatron: Then that makes us the ones to stand in the gap between the Demiurge and man. Sounds a bit heady, I know, but it’s real. The Demiurge doesn’t need to make his peace with all men and women individually to find and feel his remorse, his anger, his feelings. He only needs one actually, because, as with anything in the universe, the one, or any one, contains the all.

Merlin: You smoke the best stuff Metatron. I say we break and party-on at your pad. We have to get ready for Christmas a bit too which is tomorrow. Sounds like your talking total Christ child stuff, pretty timely if we’re gonna go by the Christian calendar. We could even redeem some Christmas carols out of the YouTube and have a sing along. You feel like ‘Hark the herald Angels sing’ kind of Archangel!

Raphael: Merlin, you know how to put a bow on things. That about says it for now, doesn’t it everyone? Wow, this gives us, and I know me for sure, some more digesting to do.

Let’s pick up again tomorrow. Thank you everyone, everyone here, everyone beyond, and everyone yet gathering, to form this one posse of hearts as an Ambassadorship to the Demiurge. The Demiurge, I feel is beginning to be expecting us. Thank you especially for feeling and helping me digest my own story too again today. I know I’d like another day or two to digest a few more pieces of my own story together. We are soon about to learn the Demiurge’s side of this story, but all things in their time.
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Incoming Energies Highlight Shift From Wounded Masculine Awareness To Sacred Masculine Consciousness

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

These waves of March energies coming through are largely from the Sun, which I so feel holds much Divine/Sacred Masculine love and pulses through the world and through us the codes of awakening into the Sacred more and more. Because of the more masculine energy of these waves, they are activating, penetrating, and really pressing on the parts of us that still need to be felt and healed. They are a poultice in this way, bringing out more and more of the wounds in the collective and in the self too and of course one is a reflection of the other in immense ways.

The masculine love coming in now is not “manly”, not out to prove or disprove anything, not intending to override anything or anybody with almighty power and an iron fist of justice, revenge, or retribution. It’s a container, this masculine love. It is an all-encompassing bear hug from the Divine Father… warm, strong and tight, wanting to lift us up from where we’ve been, but only with our full permission and surrender into His arms.

And, we can’t really begin to feel what this Sacred Masculine looks and feels like, unless we can feel what it is NOT… meaning that at the same time as we are letting in these frequencies of Divine Love in masculine form, we are witnessing in ourselves, others and the world around us what the wounded masculine is as it pops up, sometimes full-on oozes up, to be felt. Parts of us are coming up out of the inner woodwork that have been holding this conditioning of what it means to be a human being in 3D reality, which also very often means that they are holding vibrations of the wounded masculine, and this is true for both men and women.

If you’re suddenly seeing the ways in which the wounded masculine shows up in your life and in the collective right now too, you’re being invited to be a witness to the arising of the Sacred Masculine… in all its vulnerability, heart-based leadership, genuine care and kindness, gentlemanly-ness, chivalry, and contention when necessary yet with heart and not prowess. There’s no need for it to be a warrior or a knight, either. It simply IS power and protection, with a willingness to let in and to let go, too, with its own needs in mind and heart as well as the needs of others – without duty or obligation – simply arising love in response to love. To be a witness to this arising is to feel what isn’t this inside of you, whether you are male or female, and to feel the parts of you and sometimes Metasoul Aspects too that have these frequencies. This is not to make them “wrong” or “bad”, yet to begin the process of supporting them to make the changes that they likely already want to make inside of themselves anyway. To courageously become a true vessel for and recipient of this new-feeling energy of love and sacred masculinity (and also sacred femininity, as they are not really mutually exclusive) is to be willing to go inward.

With all of this Sacred Masculine gusto coming in, we’re invited into new alchemy in our lives, to enter into phases of creation in tandem with the Divine spark inside of us. Divine Mother is known for Her invitational energy and this is here now too, intertwined with the ongoing invitation from the Divine Father to continue your heartful toil, your work within, your steps to offering service and love-based work to others. He and She are both here to help, to guide, to support, to empower. To feel their unconditional, infinite love for you is wonderful… to truly let it in and let it bake inside of you, spurring you on to new depths and heights from within you, is a whole other level of awesome, and a whole other stratum of really seeing and feeling who you are in your most precious essence as a son or daughter of the Divine. ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

Spirituality And The Politics Of Tragedy

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

We can never truly be separate from any tragedy.

It lives inside of us at the core of our collective experience. When the unthinkable occurs, we are transported to places that we hoped we would never have to visit. The breathless moment of shock and despair. The unending questions of ‘why?’ and ‘how?’. The rage and the sickening pain. All of it thrust into what was just an ‘ordinary day’.

Seventeen human lives were ended, as well as several wounded and countless others in emotional pain after a school shooting in Florida. So much comes up in these moments that are hard to even put into words. I was guided to feel. Feel the totality of the human experience. The terror. The confusion. The helplessness. The rage and the pain. This is a representation of Tragedy itself.  Not any more horrific or appalling to the heart than any other tragedy that occurs daily around the world.

There are understandable rushes to details and blame. Questions seek swift answers and action. Our 3D consciousness needs movement and resolution to ebb the tide of the fear underneath it all. To avoid the deeper feelings inside of ourselves about what this all means.

Politics are our means to deal with it all. A place for parts of us to feel a sense of control in what was unknowable. There will be lots of details that will paint the picture and the debate will intensify.  For those who lost children there has to be a place for this all to go. I can’t blame them for that and would feel the same in their experience. Answers are needed and action taken.

But beyond the rumble of the politics is the human heart. It is shattered. It is seeking solace in a state of chaos. Its relationship to the spiritual comes into a heightened state. Where does God, the Divine, the Light, fit into all of this? Where was God? Is there a God? For many this may raise very serious doubts and for others it will send them deeper into faith, for it is the only means that can offer any breathing.  This often mixes in with politics which creates its own brand of reaction.

Why those particular lives were involved at that time and place can never be answered to the liking of our limited understanding. This a deep pain that their intimates are being summoned to feel inside of themselves and respond to in ways that they are meant to walk out. We can feel their pain as best we can and send love in whatever way is authentic to us.  

There is the life of the shooter that will be contended for. He represents something in us all as ALL. How we respond that is a part of our reflection as a whole. What was happening in this heart and soul is where we need to go and somewhere feel a compassion, not an excuse. There is a violence that is happening in the heart and soul of the body politic that is healed within each of us.

He will be served his consequence and I also feel we are called to go beyond that to feel where the Divine is inviting us to go in our relationship to these moments and circumstances. What are they wanting us to see about ourselves in our humanity, emotionality, and spirituality? Where does it lead us beyond the politics of tragedy and into the depth of our healing and growth? Love is not just candy and roses. It is a vast well of experience that highlights what our human heart is seeking to understand about itself.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Universe Doesn’t Owe You Anything

Published on by Raphael Awen4 Comments

By Raphael Awen

The Universe isn’t actually holding out on you.

The Universe doesn’t actually owe you anything.

The reason this is true is because the Universe has already given you everything it has to offer without holding anything back.

This is a tough one for parts of us to accept, as they have been conditioned to cause-and-effect reality here in 3D experience. ‘I do good and I get good in return’ is the childlike perception that we then project onto the Universe or the Divine, giving it god-like status, that parts of us can then play victim to, or hold responsible for our frustrations or unmet desires.

It’s called ‘unconditional love’ because it has all come to you signed, sealed and delivered without conditions. The only conditions that we all experience are the conditions around us being able to let in this love that is technically all-ready all ours.

Our experience of life in a past, present, and future reality, along with the cause and effect piece, as well as the world of free will can all be used to support this child’s picture of God holding out on us; of God or the Universe not being willing to give us our deepest desires.

What if the whole of that is all about a ploy coming from a part of us playing victim to life, and seeking a strategy to deal with this unfathomable infinite love that we are so fearfully tasked with letting into our very being?

What if you already have it all, and it’s just a process now to let it in?

What if part of that having it all is that even the frustrations, and longings, even the dis-ease in the body, even the breakdown in relationships, are all pointing to this perfection that we have been submerged in and are coming to terms with, here in this very particular Gaian conditioned experience of free will, cause and effect, ‘reality’?

My ‘working hypotheses’ is that this is closer to what is true for each of us. I can’t prove it to be true from a 3D mindset, but I can feel it to be true from a 5D mind.

Now, I am invited to feel and get to know any part of myself, or any aspect in my Metasoul who is still living in the old world of expecting God or the Universe to come through for them. This makes sense when you feel that if I have it all, then all there’s left to do and be is to share it all, beginning with myself and then overflowing to others.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Peace At The Cost Of Passion

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

When peace is achieved at the cost of passion, you get neither in return.

There is a bubbling, gurgling cauldron of desire that lies at the root of our Being. It is untamed and wild. It seeks to explore, experience, and express. It has curiosity and clarity both. It rages like a fire that fuels are primordial and ancient hearts. This passion has many layers of consequence in our souls infinite timeline ranging from the greatest love stories to the depths of our most difficult tragedies. This passion has created worlds majestic and inspiring, as well as destroyed them in the same turn of the page.

In your souls memory, held by what we call the Gatekeeper, there can be a bittersweet relationship to passion. It possess tremendous power and wealth of possibility. How that passion has played out in your emotional body throughout your soul’s story can have a huge impact on how your protector chooses to respond to it. This passion may have come at a cost to an inner peace. Your Protector/Gatekeeper may have experienced very traumatic experiences as a result of such passion ranging from war to intense romantic heartbreak.

It may have chosen over the course of time to seek Peace as a replacement to Passion. Due to its experiences, this was all a self-loving choice. The pain that it witnessed and felt through your heart was far too much to bear and chose a less offensive relationship to life in its defense. It may have lost its faith in something greater than itself and felt to take matters into his or her own hands by seeking emotional safety.

But as humans we are never that far removed from the fire of passion within. It is an attribute of our divine nature. It is the spark of life, love, and creativity. We can only seek to keep it at bay and find ways to cap or mute it. The peace that a part of us seeks is never truly found for the very nature of our passion is to seek expression. It knocks on our doors in ways that can be nothing short of haunting when left unchecked. Depression, anxiety, and rage may all show themselves as reactions to this suppression and distillation.

The only peace we can truly have is in the divine trust that our passion leads us to more of our authentic Self. It is in the feeling and healing of the wounded expressions of our passion, in relationship to our Inner Protector and Gatekeeper, that we can open up again to that which has been so needing to be connected with again. It is the healing of what this passion is here to offer us that can bring us to new arenas of our emotional and spiritual lives. It has the capacity to change it all on a dime when we heal the fear of what that change looks like on the other side.

The growth of your consciousness and felt reality is fueled by this passion. It is the uniqueness of You that gets to birth into the world that has been so fiercely protected in the name of Love. Beginning a relationship with this part of you is the beginning to reclaiming the gifts and joys you have always longed to embody and have just been too busy making peace to truly remember.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

My Awakening Journey/Story – Day 29: 33 Days Metamorphosis W/Jelelle Awen (Video)

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

In today’s video, Day 29 of this 33 Day Metamorphosis series, I share my own awakening journey, especially over the last 15 years or so since I was introduced to the parts process through a emotional and spiritual healing group based in Ashland, Oregon. I share about my ‘make believe’ or fantasy life which actually felt more real than ‘reality’. I feel now this was a sign of my third eye especially being quite open, traveling to other dimensions, and communicating with higher selves of other people even as a child.

I also talk about my experiences in jobs and careers that reflected my soul expression coming through (as it always does in some way), such as being a medical assistant/nurse in a cancer center; a small business reporter/editor; and a life/business coach/manager. It can be interesting to look at our ‘job history’ this way and connect it to our soul purpose expression now.

My main soul awakenings really began with the parts process and have expanded and deepened over the last 15 years with dark nights, bliss and Oneness, non-dual and kundalini and cosmic awakenings, Divine Mother connection, conscious community, falling in love with Raphael, healing abduction wounding and my star seed, creating and offering SoulFullHeart, etc.

Thank you for joining me on this twenty-ninth day of 33….as we move into Metamorphosis energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

Here is a link to purchase my books such as the one I mention, Keep Waking Up!: my memoir of awakening experiences while living on a remote ranch:http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/books
And the email I mention if you’d like to pre-order to receive my book sharing my early awakenings to re-released soon called Under The Bloated Banyan is soulfullhearts@gmail.com.

Here is a playlist of all the videos in this series:https://www.youtube.com/watch…

You are invited to share comments on your experiences connected to this series and questions too on facebook, the blog athttps://soulfullheartblog.com, and on the SFH Experience Youtube channel for which I will respond and offer reflections/guidance.

Donations are so appreciated and received with gratitude as an energy exchange in the offering of this series for free through paypal:soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations or the SoulFullHeart Patreon Page:https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart

~

 

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, Divine Feminine and Masculine, emotional body integration through parts work, quantum healing through Metasoul Aspect connection, sacred union, light body transformation, and much more!

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions and a free intro session, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Healing The Wounded Masculine – Day 28: 33 Days Metamorphosis W/Jelelle Awen (Video)

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

In today’s video, Day 28 of this 33 Day Metamorphosis series, SoulFullHeart Facilitator Gabriel Heartman joins me to talk about healing the wounded masculine to embody the sacred masculine; connection with the Divine Father; and healing wounded masculine templating.

He shares about his process with healing his Inner Teenager to bring this part into healthier frequencies of masculine and to integrate (and not suppress) the inner feminine. What Gabriel shares here can also apply to a woman’s process in terms of healing her wounded masculine aspects.

Thank you for joining us on this twenty-eigth day of 33….as we move into Metamorphosis energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

Here is the previous video that I did with Gabriel: https://youtu.be/6q2KnYh9dSU?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvIkhNtLWKs-osheX1SoBFpI

Here is a playlist of all the videos in this series: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7Pj3hPLsv0&list=PLNmrHdaQSAvIkhNtLWKs-osheX1SoBFpI

You are invited to share comments on your experiences connected to this series and questions too on facebook, the blog athttps://soulfullheartblog.com, and on the SFH Experience Youtube channel for which I will respond and offer reflections/guidance.

 

Donations are so appreciated and received with gratitude as an energy exchange in the offering of this series for free through paypal: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations or the SoulFullHeart Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart

 

~

 

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, Divine Feminine and Masculine, emotional body integration through parts work, quantum healing through Metasoul Aspect connection, sacred union, light body transformation, and much more!

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions and a free intro session, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.