How Do Parts Of You Relate To ‘Process’?

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

By Kalayna Colibri

Sometimes parts of you are more used to ‘the work’ more so than the reward. And at other times, parts of you may want to skip ahead to the reward without doing ‘the work’.

Energies right now and lately have been inviting us all to feel our relationship to personal process. Is the tendency to hold it with self-punishing energies and an intensity that often feels heavy, or is there a frequency of looking at the processes of others, wishing to only be where they are now without having to walk out your own steps?

I feel like one of the most challenging pieces here is self-embracement, which translates to a seeing and feeling of your parts on all levels. Sometimes Metasoul timeline bleedthroughs happen too, adding an existential element to all of this… and when you add that with some conditioning that love and deep inner healing and movements cannot happen without shame spirals and long-lasting phases of deep suffering and pain, then you have the perfect cocktail for parts of you to try and avoid process altogether.

The invitation to feel and heal is one that allows for all of this and more to come up, held by love. It’s an invitation into a more yin-feeling space of embracing instead of stifling and encouraging healing within instead of forcing it, much like a mother who is encouraging her child to start walking.

Learning to relate to your healing process differently is as important as the healing itself… it’s the choice of the sort of womb you’d like to bake in before your continual rebirth into someone new, even if these shifts feel subtle in the moment.

Much love to you as your journey unfolds with feeling all of this and so much more… and as you continue your own embracement of your process in these newly emerging ways from within. ❤

~

We offer powerful and illuminating Bridging Sessions that offer all of this and more for you to continue to feel into and heal too… http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 35, emoto-spiritual teacher, WayShower, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Re-Anchoring From The 3D Matrix To 5D New Earth

Published on by Jelelle Awen1 Comment

By Jelelle Awen

Re-anchoring is going on HUGE it feels like right now, especially during this mega time of energy shifts and influxes. We are being invited to re-anchor into higher vibrational frequencies and higher consciousness states of New Earth into 4D transitional consciousness and away from the 3D matrix which anchored us into its projected and collaborated reality of unconscious duality.

The 3D matrix dissolving as it is in the now WITH love ‘drops’ people then into their own native soul expressing body frequency and into the discovery of what that actually IS outside of the collective vibe.

The matrix has created a sense of unity consciousness, yet it has the lower vibrational agenda of modulation, conforming, control, following the ‘rules’, and has run on fear-based frequencies of avoiding rejection, unfelt abandonment and unworthiness woundings, power over others, and codependence. It is formed through conformity and fitting in.

As souls, we all agreed to the collaborative creation of this matrix as it helped with the 3D experiment that we all felt was an important one on a soul level and to purge out the shadow in our collective unconsciousness. And so, it has been as we have learned MUCH during it and are continuing to learn so much as it is dissolving.

This matrix is becoming obsolete, no longer needed, and hugely limiting to our soul frequencies now coming into our bodies and emotional bodies. The human species in this current ‘modern era’ timeline is now ready to BE without this matrix on a collective level. The collective emotional body is ready to be healed through the receiving of love frequencies to transform the stuck and blocked places of fear into love. The Reptilian Star BEings who have collaborated and agreed to play the role of ‘suppressor’ and enforcers of this matrix have also now grown beyond it (on their leading edge) and this role. They are in a collective choice point of love over fear, letting in forgiveness from the Divine for all they have ‘done’, which was actually just fulfilling a ‘role’ in the bigger experiment.

As we can no longer anchor into the matrix, there is this collective ‘floating’ feeling as each individual soul finds their new bearings inside of themselves rather than outside of themselves. For some souls, parts of them will be slower, stubborn, or even outright refuse to re-anchor into themselves in a higher vibrational frequency during this current timeline.

They will continue to create a matrix from inside of themselves, pulling from their unhealed emotional bodies and undigested karma from their Metasoul lifetimes too. The ‘hellish’ frequencies of the matrix will still be reality for them as they are free will choosing it. They will remain ‘hooked in’ completely by their own free will choice on a 3D level and, of course, on a higher self level too. They will continue to manifest body illness, dis-ease, toxic relationship patterns, suffering loops…whatever they need to continue to grow and learn. Although it will become increasingly uncomfortable for them to be at this lower frequency and remain on Gaia, so they will most likely leave the body eventually with their Metasoul having sovereignly learned what it came here to learn.

For those of us who are re-anchoring already in a conscious way and maybe have been for many years and have been awakened to our Metasoul frequencies, we will flow along WITH the matrix-free Gaia as She moves UP in frequency. An important aspect of the process for you in this is the 4D transitional phase, the deaths and rebirths, the Dark Nights and the Light Day awakenings, the de-conditionings and the re-conditionings too, the shedding and molting off of so many layers. This re-anchoring into self is the discovery process of what ISN’T your authentic self and what IS.

This unanchoring process is about saying ‘no’ to very many previous beloved ways of being in the world in order to say ‘yes’ to the unknown NEW way that is based in love. It is the process of letting go of 3D anchors that are OUTSIDE of you in ALL areas of our life so that you can anchor INSIDE of you. It is about transforming the traumas that live in parts of you into love. In this phase, you discover and FEEL yourself as a fractal from Divine Source AND as the Divine, both, and let go of the ‘outside of self’ God picture as offered by 3D religious pictures.

The Ascension energies are inviting us to shift from anchoring into another person or person’s/culture’s beliefs, yet rather to begin the process of anchoring in OURSELVES and to the Divine as a source experienced from WITHIN us. As you help parts of you drop anchors to 3D life through healing the trauma connected to them, your soul is freed UP, your heart is opened UP, your mind is expanded UP, and your body is lightened UP too.

The NEW anchors do not weigh you down, yet rather invite you to let IN, grounding you in yet not limiting your consciousness or capping it in any way. The anchors become lost at sea and you are increasingly floating free! And so it IS and so it becomes more and more as you let go in order to let in the NEW.

~

Jelelle Awen
We offer a loving and catalytic support, guidance, community for this re-anchoring process during bridging sessions:soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

Guided Meditation: Meet & Love Your Inner Punisher

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

by Gabriel Heartman

One of the most difficult aspects of our healing can be coming to terms with our ‘Inner Punisher’ voice or what is frequently referred to as the ‘Inner Critic’. This voice is the one that keeps other parts of you in a state of guilt and smallness. There is a very good reason for it and it is usually used as a protection to keep you from getting hurt, as ironic as that may feel.

This part, when felt and given a sacred space to bring out its truth, can transform to a deep ally as your healthy discernment, truth-teller, and boundary-setter. This occurs over a back and forth relationship that develops and reveals over time.

This meditation, written by SoulFullHeart Facilitator Kalayna Colibri and voiced by Gabriel Heartman, takes you to a hallway of doors where you get to meet and feel the presence of your ‘inner- punishing’ energy. You are escorted and supported by your sacred masculine and sacred feminine guides. You will encounter your ‘Inner Protector’ along the way to make sure that this is the time for this meeting. (More on the Inner Punisher here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/protectorpart)

If you have not met your Inner Protector yet, we advise that you do so before this meditation as the entry point into your emotional body. You can find that at:

The music gratefully used in this guided meditation is from Taos Winds Spirit Music Channel:

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Let’s Get On With The Getting On!

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

A tender response from a wonderful bridging session I had with a male soul yesterday:

“I don’t even know how to say how much I appreciate you and the insights you share! It seems like a process that gives a path to experiences I got to feel and bare witness to in visions. It’s like everything you say is complimenting a notion or sense I have in regards to the 3d/4d/5d”

This is it. The time to get on with the getting on. The letting in. You have dug in the soil, spent time in the darkness, and found your truest gift to the world….the desire to love yourself enough to choose real love. To follow the challenges and choice points that lead you to its ever-expanding and all-encompassing playground. Time to love those parts of you that haven’t been able to see past the dark and trust there is a different, bigger, and sexier world that exists in this very moment.

Keep watering your garden. The one you have tended to with much diligence and self-care even when it was hard as hell. It is not part of your destiny to give up now. You just need to find others to water your garden WITH you, not for you. Those that are doing the same in the name of bearing that magical fruit of pure joy and creative power in the name of more Love.

Let your roots find their strength in your ever-opening heart to let in and serve more love. We are an independent community garden that is interdependent on those hearts and souls that have chosen to plant themselves in and near our raised bed. It is time to choose to be loved by others as you have chosen to love yourself in the name of real explosive growth.

Loving yourself is just the beginning. Sharing and serving that love is what comes next. This is your sacred human calling.
******

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Are You In The Void Phase?

Published on by Jelelle Awen4 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

The void phase and space….the space ‘left behind’ when your soul wakes up inside of your 3D life and your consciousness shifts into fourth dimensional (4D) and you make choices to align with your soul frequency. I feel 4D as a consciousness phase of much sorting through, learning and re-education about the ‘real’ world from the one you’ve been taught. It is a phase of seeing the false matrix and understanding WHY it has been chosen and feeling its impact on your reality and unplugging from it. 4D waters your ‘rebel’ and the void is what happens as you push away from 3D.

The void is the space that happens when you let go of something you don’t want in order to let in more of what you do……but the something new hasn’t come quite yet or not consistently. In this void, you are no longer very often the 3D version of who you used to be and yet you are not yet your 5D/higher self coming into your body version that you most want to be either. You are in transition and in between, moving back and forth between the ‘worlds’, and riding the waves of consciousness states related to this.

The void space is what arises as your higher self and soul lead you through the awakening process of deconstruction, dismantling what has been to allow what wants to BE to arise into your life. In this process of deconstruction, you are letting go of 3D beliefs and ideas. You are sloughing off conditionings that no longer fit. This can be a VERY painful process at times as so many parts of you are identified with and attached to these 3D energies. The emotional body purges out all you’ve ingested as you detach.

Of course parts of you are attached to 3D because they have HAD to be in order to survive in the dense 3D experiment that you signed up for to grow and to learn. This attachment to 3D frequencies can especially be felt in ‘long-term relationships’ that have run out of resonant ground, yet continue on from mostly past energies and associations. These relationships can provide an anchor into 3D that feels safe and good to parts of you (especially younger aspects such as the Inner Child and Inner Teenager) as these are the dominant energies that have needed them.

The void comes from completing relationships like this, from moving on from 3D-based careers and businesses, from leaving familiar geographies, from shifting livelihood means. The impact of these choices is your process for quite awhile…the mourning, the negotiating, the eventual letting go. The letting go and more letting go as feelings of isolation, rejection, abandonment, unworthiness, disconnect all come UP from your emotional body to be felt with each movement.

So, then, what is meant to come and FILL this void and this space that has been freed up from all this letting go? When SO MUCH has been let go of…….then WHAT?

This has come up in sessions over the years with those souls who have so courageously given up and completed what hasn’t felt like them as they integrate their soul awakenings into their world. And, then, the ‘now what?’ comes up as a pressing question because they may feel the completion of the lone wolf phase and their cozy cave existence that they have so needed to be in while they went through this 4D deconstruction. However, remaining too long in the void while feeling loneliness or blocked by anxiety about moving on or existential tensions (fear to move into surrender of the Divine) or stuck in scarcity or lack (which comes naturally as you let go especially of 3D secure money earning) may keep you stuck or capped in your growth if it continues on without inner negotiation.

I’m sharing about this as I feel many souls may be at this place in the moment. I WAS at this place of void many times in my awakening journey where ‘now what?’ was the pressing question. Some souls may be here after many years of letting go and the ‘being in two worlds’ reality. Surrendering into what love wants to bring you now and where it wants to bring you comes from negotiation and feeling with the parts of you that are afraid, stuck, tense, anxious about moving out of the void and into the NEW.

Ultimately, we are invited to let go IN ORDER to then let in. Love wants to come and fill this void now. Love wants to move you into your highest reality in all moments. Love wants to fill the void that you’ve created by your soul choices. Love in the form of sacred union relationships with a mate, with sacred friendships, with commUNITY. Love wants to fill the void in the form of service of love in the soul purpose form that you are meant to offer it and then receive abundance in exchange for offering it. Love wants to fill the void in the form of sharing your gifts with the world in the ways you are called to and letting in gifts in return. In the form of giving love and receiving love in transactions that serve love.

Moving into receiving mode AND sharing mode is the next place beyond the void where you are FILLING up again….only, this time, with the most nourishing frequencies of LOVE!!

This is a video I did talking about the void space:

~

Jelelle Awen is a Parts Work/Metasoul & Galactic Aspects/Sacred Union Teacher & Facilitator, and Ascension Guide. She is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life awakening/healing process and community. She has written four books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about bridging and ongoing sessions virtually over zoom and in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, events/retreats, videos, books, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Necessity Of The Deep Dive During Awakening

Published on by Jelelle Awen2 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

Awakening is the eventual and inevitable sovereignly led going into the deep dive….into the places, nooks, and crannies of the emotional body and the soul that previously haven’t been known and cared for and seen. This deeper work can be avoided, bypassed, and diverted for only so long. This is true for ALL of us, it seems, no matter what place we claim as teacher, healer, way shower, etc.

Even those souls long awakening and having done ‘so much work’ are finding that there is still deeper to go, especially into emotional body healing. You are maybe discovering that the previously cherished joy and bliss states are becoming more temporary, fueled by transmissions from other souls perhaps more than being self generated and self empowered.

Eventually, the pain bubbles up again….showing itself as a seemingly unshakable depression or an acute anxiety that can move into panic that feels like it is attacking every living cell. Maybe this pain can be covered over for a time by a Protector part with buoyancy but that can be more superficial, like a smile whose joy never really reaches the eyes.

The vibrational frequency of the trauma calls you back again, over and over, in ways that are sometimes conscious and very often not. It mirrors through situations in your life that recapitulate it…through relationships with others primarily…..asking you to see it. Inviting you to finally FEEL it. Wanting you to relate with it rather than resist or push away.

Leading with curiousity….leading with compassion….being able to create space and separation….you are then able to BE with this pain and the parts of your self and soul that feel it. You are able to relate with the traumas expressed in specific scenes that may loop over and over like ground hog’s day until felt by you and offered to be moved into a higher vibration of light and love. You form relationships WITH these parts and aspects of you in this life and other timelines too…not to fix them, yet, rather, to KNOW them.

Through this inner relationality, soul gifts OPEN up in an authentic way that is led by you, empowered by you….owned and managed by YOU. The initial highs experienced from receiving readouts and intuitions from other healers are fading and the questions of ‘now what?’ and ‘how do I integrate this into my life?’ and ‘Why didn’t knowing that take away the pain?’ are becoming more pressing. The necessary phase of looking outside to others to tell you about your soul is completing as you are being invited to lead your OWN exploration and discover your own answers.

Your Protector/Gatekeeper becomes you main collaborator and guide as you journey together to discover, to bridge, and to transform fear to love in whatever forms and ways it shows up. More about this part and Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

This is the way we navigate the deep dive that the Divine is inviting us into during awakening. This is the way that we’ve found in SoulFullHeart leads to transmutation of trauma and pain back into love again. It is one part at a time. It is one journey and exploration at a time.

The Divine supports beautifully the bravery to go into these deeper places and will always reveal the love that is there if you are willing to look, open to feel, and trusting in the process. ~

Jelelle Awen
I and other SoulFullHeart Facilitators Raphael Awen, Gabriel Heartman, and Kalayna Colibri offer 1:1 90 minute bridging sessions over zoom for $55 USD min. donation to journey into these inner spaces in a safe and supportive environment. I have session openings this week for women over 35 if you are interested in experiencing one! Gabriel and Raphael meet with men and women; Kalayna with women under 35 years of age. PM me on facebook or email soulfullhearts@gmail.com
Go here for more information: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

 

Eclipse Energies Supporting Illumination Of Resistance To Love

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

There are still some residual pieces to feel as the Lion’s Gate energies continue to wan and the eclipse today shines its light… a partial eclipse, so it feels like it acknowledges the illuminating work done so far, yet wants to offer this illumination as a way to see and feel what remains in shadow too. One needs the other, needs contrast, in order to be deeply felt and let in…

It’s always amazing to me, how the capacity of our parts to filter out and resist love too is exactly the same capacity they have to hold the tears of collapse INTO love, into you, into their realities and what’s been bubbling underneath the now glassy surface.

Amazing too, how right in line with this, there can be SO much GOODNESS and LOVE to let in while also feeling the baggage to be claimed within, the places where love still needs to go in order to help you move the residue of old conditioning and the remnants of your deepest pain.

I feel this eclipse today offering this and so much more… that there always is and will be so much more, especially more love in the truest, purest sense. Ideas of abundance seem to be falling away or shifting into something new, something not materialistic at all, yet too, there are new invitations now to revisit even ‘material’ abundance and have a new relationship with it.

I feel this all so much on a personal level – the letting in of deeper and deeper love with others yet with myself and my own parts/Metasoul too. So often for me, there can be a heart-wide-open letting in feeling and experience that is like a Kundalini experience x infinity in moments, while in sometimes the very next wave there is also an experience of fear, of resistance, of self-judgment in parts of me that are trying to put the brakes on the goodness. This happens less and less now, yet it does happen. And, I feel how this is true for so many… the more love there is to let in, the more room we need to make for it.

Infinite love to you on this eclipse day… may you shine bright in your own right, in your exploration of your shadow/suppressed parts, in your deeper and deeper embracement of the love that you are. ❤

If you feel you’re in need of support for your own digestion of these and other incoming Ascension-boosting/supporting energies, check out our offering of very affordable Bridging Sessions… we would love to extend our hearts to you at this time! www.soulfullhearwayoflife.com/bridging-session

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 35, emoto-spiritual teacher, WayShower, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Whatever You Most Need You Can Recieve: SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter (Aug 6, 2018)

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

It’s the release of our weekly Museletter! Offering ALL of our writings, videos, events, healing offerings, and audio blogs for the week! Go here to read it!

This week’s Museletter kicks off with a piece by Jelelle Awen. In this writing, she invites you to feel the message of the Lion’s Gate Portal that we have just walked through:

“The invitation is to increasingly trust that whatever you MOST need in order for your Higher Self/soul coming into your body and higher heart capacity to SERVE love will be offered to you.”

Also from Jelelle this week, we have a new guided meditation to offer you that will help you connect with Star Family. Lean into Jelelle’s voice and energy as she guides you to your heart and into a reunion with your Star Family, whose presence you may or may not already be consciously feeling or that parts of you may be feeling resistant to connecting with.

Many new writings and a few new audio recordings for you to take in this week, as we wrap-up and integrate the Lion’s Gate energies. These writings from Jelelle Awen, Raphael Awen, Kalayna Colibri, and Gabriel Heartman all offer you different ways in which to digest the incoming love waves and energies and what they have been offering you. Different ways to feel your ongoing personal process are also offered.

You’ll find information about our five-day retreat happening here in beautiful, Puerto Vallarta, Mexico in November, 2018. You can read more about that here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/events

We all offer 1:1 90min Bridging Sessions to help boost and digest your Ascension process and feel with you what your next steps are towards your highest timeline possibilities. These sessions are available for $55 USD min. donation per session. More information can be found here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

We love to share our offerings with you and would enjoy to receive whatever heart donation in the form of money you feel that resonates with our offerings. You can go to our donation page for more info on how to donate: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Way of Life! If you’d like to receive these Museletters directly and automatically in your email every week, you can subscribe on our website at: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/writingmuseletters

Check out the latest Museletter here.

You Are Eclipsed Abundance

Published on by Gabriel Heartman4 Comments

Photo by JOE KLAMAR/AFP/Getty Images

You are eclipsed abundance.

The direct 3D experience of life can be used as evidence by a part of us to assume a belief that since A has never, or rarely ever happened, then A is either does not exist or is some random anomaly and therefore should not be assumed as ‘real’ or a permanent fixture of existence.

Take for example….Abundance (you can replace it with Love, Romance, Purpose, etc). If our more limited 3D, or questioning and curious 4D parts of us have had many direct experiences of ‘lack’ (usually defined by these parts as not getting what they want to feel good/comfortable/safe/loved) then the belief that life IS lack is set into the creative programming structure of consciousness and…voila!…life is Lack (whatever that definition is to these parts).

The more the universe brings us that ‘truth’ the more solid the belief and it becomes like quick setting concrete in our consciousness and turning that ship around can be challenging, but not impossible (perceived by these very same parts that created it in the first place, mind you).

Lack is a reflection of our Sacred Forgetting. We veiled ourselves from Abundance to play (experience) in this dimension of This and That, or This NOT That. It is easier for these separated and disowned parts of us to assume this reality since this is the reality they live in. A disconnection from Source and the abundance it IS. So this rush to these quantum judgments and beliefs is always, in my opinion, a protection.

The protection is there to not get too attached to something that is either temporal or just doesn’t plain exist. Fully embodying this ensures that you don’t get hurt, nor abundance. The price of believing in abundance (love, romance, higher timelines, etc) is the pain of not having it, and/or the pain of actually letting it in.

There is an infinite treasure chest buried in the depth of our existential sacred wounding. Feeling the parts of you that are there to keep you from Harm and conversely from Love and Goodness assists in opening this Pandora’s Box. When you understand the Whys? then you can open your compassionate heart to these parts of you and bring them back into the experience of what ‘was’ and actually IS. That you belong in an abundant, infinite, expression of Love. It is not a quick turn around but a process of choosing something new and remembering something forgotten. This takes time, patience, and powerful choices.

This is the message I receive from this alchemical time of year. You are eclipsed abundance. You are the Moon and the Sun both. Give space to that which is veiling and the bright light behind it shall shine.

****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Experiencing Abundance From Within To Draw It On The Outside

Published on by Jelelle Awen2 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

It’s interesting how abundance can work in your life. How it can seem to sneak in at times, as if on a slow drip line that builds up over time. Or, it can gush in on a wave that invites you to ride it, glide it, surf it, and, ultimately, surrender to it.

And, abundance can take so many forms….whatever your energy is going toward, whatever your desire is wanting to draw, whatever you are most needing. The main sense that something is coming from abundance, though, is that it is being offered to you from and with LOVE.

This Lion/Lionness gateway and the upcoming partial SOULar eclipse tomorrow invite you and parts of you to feel into your relationship to abundance as these energies offer a bounty of NEXT level light and love. To feel what receiving this love abundance means to you….what is resisted and what is embraced.

During this Cosmic Christmas gateway, I am experiencing many gifts of abundance…..community intimacy as the five of us spent a few days together eating/talking/shopping and living, increasing service draw and resonance through SoulFullHeart, and, also, a new place to live for the next several weeks. For two years, Raphael and I have lived in a very simple, older, Mexican apartment. It is in a wonderful location, close to the ocean/shops/restaurants with an ocean view. Yet, it has bars on the windows (as is typically here for security), no ability to be truly sound proof, is falling apart in many ways, etc. And, it has been all we could comfortably afford while transitioning our money earning the last few years from a 3D-based painting contracting business to SoulFullHeart & transitionary and flexible teaching English online. And before this place, we lived on a remote, off-grid ranch for close to two years and in an RV before that.

We humbly surrendered to living in this simple place WHILE we dreamt of physical abundance and beauty. Day after day, we would both energize this during our meditations and talks together….WHILE discovering appreciation for the simplicity that we’d been given and understanding the deconstruction that was going on. We came to feel how the generation of abundance needed to happen from WITHIN primarily, from one part of us to another. To strip away the entitlement, the expectation, the normalization, the focus on materialism that happens in 3D life in order to get to the arising gratitude and appreciation that comes when you have let go of everything and are truly in receiving mode.

Then, just last week, we drew an opportunity to stay in a beautiful apartment that is literally just 100 steps from our old one. Yet, it is VERY much a different timeline, with panoramic ocean views, beautiful surfaces, and a very attentive landlord. Going back and forth between the two living spaces has felt like traveling between two timelines…..the old is collapsing as the new is being built and lived in.

I have had some process around this transition, including feeling my masculine aspect named Julian who tenderly felt like he had ‘failed’ me by living in such simplicity and ‘squalor’ (his word) for the last five years. And this part of me feels afraid of our new transitory lifestyle, where we feel to respond to service and offer retreats/group circles in different locations around the world in the next year. I felt his tears, shared them with our community during Lion’s Gate, and then felt his heart open and expand to become in collaboration with me to manifest and activate the next and the next. I invited him to feel how all the internal work we had done was NOW showing up on the outside too and, therefore, we could trust that it would most likely sustain.

Whatever YOUR abundance manifestation looks like, it is ultimately less about how it shows up externally as it is about how it FEELS on the inside for you. Abundance within feels like much less polarization between parts of you and much more unification. It feels like goodness, joy, and acceptance/embracement of the moments and movements that are less than that. Ultimately, though, and most importantly…it feels like LOVE.

Jelelle Awen
1:1 bridging sessions with me or another SoulFullHeart Facilitator to feel into your relationship with abundance and whatever else wants to arise and be felt. More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

Join us for an abundance of love, process, and transformation during a five day retreat here in Puerto Vallarta – November 8 through 12! More info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/611981952495560/

Photos are of our views from our new apartment and recent sunset codes in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico