To Truly Love When We Love Each Other

by Kalayna Colibri

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If we loved each other more… we would let go without fear or tugging.

If we loved each other more… we would empower instead of enable.

If we loved each other more… our words to one another would never be empty.

If we loved each other more… the eyes of love would forever be the ones we wear and we would see each other for who we are.

If we loved each other more… we would recognize the difference between caretaking and caregiving.

If we loved OURSELVES more… we would, ad infinitum, love each other more…

… and in this love, we would find
even more of ourselves
than we ever thought we would ever see,
feel, and heal
before we realized
that loving more
means
we will never know love in the less.

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Role Of Your Inner Protector

by Kalayna Colibri

caspar-david-friedrich-the-wanderer-above-the-sea-of-fog

Artwork: The Wanderer Above the Sea of Fog by Caspar David Friedrich

A voice inside that tells you to be careful, and may even encourage you to have your guard so ‘up’ that relaxation feels impossible. A feeling of complete or nearly complete distrust of anyone, maybe even without much explanation or logical reasoning. A heightened sense of needing to protect yourself, that in some ways you may be so used to feeling that it becomes unconscious when it comes up and it comes up so automatically most of the time. A sense that there is a lot ‘out there’ to be wary of in terms of 3D dangers in your everyday life, but also in terms of ‘psychic attacks’ and ‘influences’.

This is the experience of having a sharp and astute Inner Protector, always at the ready, always standing at the helm, always on the lookout. There isn’t much room for feminine softness in this picture if you are a woman, or vulnerable sharing of your inner world if you are a man. There is a sense of finding ways to be in control of the situation you’re in, no matter what, even though underneath that you may feel the rumblings of actually feeling quite the opposite most of the time. In women, this energy tends to express as quite masculine, sometimes calling itself a ‘goddess’ or ‘warrior woman’. In men, this energy tends to express as overly ‘masculine’ in a way that is direct without heart, and penetrative without feeling. In both camps, there is so little vulnerability accessible, that it can feel impossible to feel anything but defensive in interactions with others.  Maybe when you are at home alone can you finally let this guard down and just be… yet for those of you who have families or a husband or wife, maybe this guard never really drops or relaxes to make room for a real ground of intimacy and love transaction with others.

Your Inner Protector has so needed to be there. In all of those interactions you had as a child, it began picking up on strategies other Inner Protectors were using, ways to control you and other parts of you, while also perhaps controlling others, however, whenever possible. Feeling offended or the need to defend against something that has been said or someone who you’re interacting with is so often a knee-jerk, automated sort of reaction from this part of you. This part has needed to be this way in a world that encourages either intense defenses and fear for one reason or other, or the complete dropping of all protection in order to access sexual or etheric experiences that you are told you are ‘supposed to’ get to. You may gravitate towards peak experiences like taking Ayahuasca or Peyote or other less natural drugs, or workshops and retreats that get you out of the normal day-to-day grind in order to elevate above the protection and find something different. The protection can be a veil on different levels of your being, wanting to keep you from feeling, from accessing YOU and your parts in a deeper way, which would lead to a more profound awakening experience.

As you heal, the need for a strong Inner Protector lessens and dissipates. Impenetrable walls and defensive reactivity turn into healthy, porous boundaries held with love and self-worth. The Protector changes form, helping you to transform as well, allowing for greater, sweeter intimacy with self and others that may challenge you in good ways at times. Ultimately it’s a process of letting more love in, for that is really what the Inner Protector is afraid of… love flowing into you and permanently changing all that it has worked to maintain up ’til now.

If you would like to perhaps try and meet your Inner Protector, you can listen to this SoulFullHeart group call and also try the meditation:  https://youtu.be/yP0OmxcSScc

If you feel you’d like to venture further into this energy, we offer ongoing sessions and a profound process around getting to know and healing your protector and other parts of you: www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

From my heart to yours, sending lots of love to your Inner Protector and all they’ve held and continue to hold… ❤

 

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Healing Relationship Cycles And Stories

by Kalayna Colibri

wooden-hearts

Our relationships can feel like an endless circle, and run in infinite circles too… cycles of pain, of this and that being faced, brought up, fought over, over and over again, while inside of you, you feel as if you ARE the relationship and have a hard time sensing where it ends and you begin.

The same stories are told in countless ways. Stories about the friendship, the romance, the family holiday when you were 5. Some of these stories are told outright, while some are told unconsciously through the ways you’re used to being and interacting with each other. So much of this is accepted by part of you, as being just ‘the way it is’ and perhaps the way it has always been. The relationships you see around you don’t challenge this mind and heart-set of yours either, as they are stuck in the same or very similar loops and cycles. There are certain questions that are never asked about the health of it all and the degree to which it’s self-loving or not, to remain in these stories. Sometimes the Pleasantville experience of it all isn’t so pleasant, yet you remain and aren’t encouraged to ask why… and often the answer to the ‘why’ is that there are fears and more unanswered questions about how life would look without these relationships in place, or at least in the same place they’ve always been up ’til now.

To remain fully involved in all relationships around you without a chance to go inward and discover YOU leads to a world of intense defenses and protection instead of healthy boundaries. It asks parts of you to blend-in, merge, become the relationships instead of feeling what they feel. It asks you to put a stopper in your own growth and the growth of others too. There is so much more to be discovered within you, if you can find a way to take the space you need… and to listen to that voice within, that wants to help clarify for you what you need and want most and what you are most worthy of experiencing in relationship with yourself and others.

To go into YOU… this is risky for these relationships. It does ask them to change as you change, and often it seems that others aren’t willing to come with you. They have a choice to go inside too, to join you on your path or find their own. There is nothing wrong here, there is only what is real… which is perhaps the hardest thing to trust. What is real is what heals and is also what grounds you into the new soil your roots of heart and soul are aching to grow in – the garden bed of a budding ‘self’ that wants to flourish in its self-ness and explore relationships with others from a new place of worth and love that flows deeply on the inside of a YOU that you are now coming to know and become.

____

Tomorrow at 11:11 CST, there will be a live stream taking place on Facebook, with Raphael and Jelelle Awen. They will be talking about SoulFullHeart, the 3D self, and anything else they feel to share. Please stop by and feel free to ask questions, comment, or just give them some love! https://www.facebook.com/events/1273156469462294
 
In SoulFullHeart, we offer an ongoing process where you feel parts of you as well as your 3D/4D/5D selves.It is an in-depth healing process that forever deepens and expands. If you are curious to know more and/or may wish to sign-up for a free 30-min intro session, please visit: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Spirituality And The 3D Self

by Kalayna Colibri

seed

 

 

The 3D self says,

“I don’t always believe in ‘god’… unless of course, it’s a literal god, one who has very black and white ways of punishing or rewarding us as humans and has given us very clear rules through people we don’t question. Sometimes I feel punished or rewarded for goodness or badness. Sometimes I don’t feel much of anything and just want to be left alone… because ultimately, I do feel alone. I don’t get a visceral sense of ‘god’ or ‘god-ness’ and I usually feel drawn to compartmentalizing god too… leaving ‘him’ to when I attend church on Sundays or at Christmas, for example. Sometimes I like retreats because they don’t challenge me to live with the spirituality every day and the 4D self can at least be sort of satiated for a while by them, or at least it can seem so. Letting in the Divine scares me because I don’t quite know or understand what that means, and I really feel mostly like it would mean losing everything I’ve built or bought or earned – relationships, career, things, etc. I don’t feel or find anything ‘spiritual’ or purposeful in the every day, and most of the time this suits me just fine… if god doesn’t bother me, I won’t bother ‘him’. Life seems like an uncontrollable thing at times, and yet totally controllable in others… or at least, I’ve convinced myself I have control when I really don’t. And if I truly let that in, I would crumble – or at least I’m afraid I would.

I live in systems made of my fears and the fears of others, that are led and maintained by the most afraid members of society. God is unknowable and unseeable, but money is and relationships are, and family is too. I can see and touch and smell material things and food that I want. I can’t see or touch who made them or harvested them or at least not often, and I don’t want to look that far into anything. I want what I want in this moment and beyond that, I don’t care. To truly be in touch with ‘god’ would mean having to see more than I do now. I don’t think I want that.

You’re born, you live, you die. I don’t think much about what happens after that. All I care about is where my next fun is coming from, in the form of food, sex, or something material that shows me I’m worth something. How does ‘god’ have a chance to enter that, and why would I want ‘him’ to?”

Sometimes, as we walk into and through different chapters of 4D awakening, where spirituality then becomes a subject fraught with questions and soul rebirth canals, we inhabit a 3D reality which is essentially ‘god-less’, at least in the sense of having a daily, visceral experience of god or the Divine in different forms and energies. You may feel yourself weaving in and out of a more 3D reality of the ‘god picture’ along the way, sometimes feeling as if life is wonder-less, and that you don’t have much sense of the Divine in your life right now. This can feel really dense and as if there is a ceiling over you and sometimes you may even have physical reactions to this reality, like intense head pain, along with some emotional reactions from parts of you to different situations in your life where things don’t seem to be going the way you or part of you wants them to. As we awaken, we begin to separate out from this ‘self’ that would rather not hold a personal sort of ‘god’ experience and also the different parts that hold this as their only possible reality. The 3D self doesn’t seem to vanish, however, though it does heal more and more and gradually integrates into our daily reality and our being in a different way. Our 3D self represents ‘this-life’ wounds and pain, though it may not always feel that consciously or if it does, it may seek therapy or some form of self-help that won’t ultimately reach the deepest aspects of what needs to heal. It needs us, inside of our 4D or 5D selves, to help bridge it to something deeper and actually be with it there too, not trying to suppress or abandon it, which we can’t really do anyways.

The 3D self can sometimes make itself hard to love. It has a way in which it has built formidable walls and can feel unreachable in the sense of feeling it deeply beyond a surface-level sense of success, failure, loss, gain, happiness at getting what it wants, sadness when it doesn’t. It very seldom holds a deep compassion towards itself or others. This may not be true of all 3D selves, but for most of them, this feels like what needs to be felt, held and reconciled within each.

Ascension, in my sense of it, means inviting the 3D self to come along, loving it the whole way. This love can’t be false because this ‘self’ won’t buy it if it is, or might pretend to for a time but in the end, it won’t be deeply moved by anything you offer it. It is so often an energy of protective disbelief. Loving it begins with feeling one part of you at a time, and feeling your way into the love that wants to flow into and through you and wrap around it too. From this place, comes our deepest, purest sense of spirituality, which has always been there somehow, though the days and moments come when we feel it has left us or isn’t accessible. These phases are as much a part of our journey as the highest heights are, and every bit as sacred.

To learn more about working with and healing your 3D self, you can visit our website, http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for a sense of how we hold the process and what the SoulFullHeart process is in and of itself. ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

‘Time’ Is A Co-Creation Of Love

by Kalayna Colibri

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Our relationship to ‘time’ is changing, and we’re invited to feel this more and more.

It’s not that ‘time’ is ‘evil’. Time, like money, has gotten a bad rep due to projections and the way we hold and relate to it. Aging, for example, can be a frightening concept for a few reasons… our bodies start shifting in ways we can’t control, though parts of us might work very hard to do so. Perhaps you’re one who has over-attached to this concept of aging and maybe the idea of someday ‘running out of time’ has been scary too. It feels like so many of us have come into this life with a sense of soul urgency, mistaking this feeling as a warning that we need to get somewhere (though we may not know where exactly) and fast. Of course we do only have a limited ‘time’ on this planet, yet in another way, perhaps these urgent feelings have been more about an ‘urge’ itself. A drive to keep going, to keep feeling, to keep moving forward while moving inward. It feels like parts of us can sometimes hijack these urges and make them about something else, and of course this is the veil of illusion that we signed up for in 3D anyways and something we are meant to find our way out of. The scene from Labrynth where Sarah is stuck in an illusion and forgets about her original quest to get her baby brother back comes to mind. Though in SoulFullHeart we would hold that she chose this illusion, not that Gareth or any other entity, energy or figure did it TO her.

It’s part of our awakening to realize that time is only as real as we make it and also that it’s needed to be real here on Gaia for many reasons – many of which we have yet to uncover. Time is both a man-made and a Divinely created construction. I feel like it has been offered to us as a container to press us onward into healing. It has given us a well-laid out playground to journey through 3D and find our way through the dark tunnels of 4D. It has made us acknowledge differences in ourselves and each other, contributing, if we let it, to our sense of conscious duality.  Just like money, time is an expression of love and is a mirror too. It is often seen as ‘scarce’ and held by parts and metasoul aspects of us as a source of intense stress. What we’re invited to feel now, is that time is another aspect of abundance and that it, like love, has no inherent ‘lack’, but only more of it to let in.

This may not play out literally in our lives as we know and live them, at least not in this moment on Gaia, but we can trust the infinite nature of it, and that it too was created for and WITH us. It reminds us that we co-created the reality that we now ‘know’ and that in another way, it is as infinite as we are and wants to be a part of our manifestations in this world.

Embracing time as a gift given to us for NOW, can perhaps help us feel a different relationship to it and to so many other concepts parts of us have deemed so far to be troublesome. It’s another invitation to feel that Love has already WON and there is nothing to fight here, only to tap into as it invites us to keep tapping into ourselves and our hearts.

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Ways Our 3D/4D/5D ‘Selves’ Experience The World

by Kalayna Colibri

multidimensional

“I want to focus on how I look to others and try and control what they think of me. I want success and I want peace. The world is mostly black and white to me… ugly or beautiful, full or empty, alive or dead. What I want more than anything else is to be satisfied with life just as it is. And if I’m never quite ‘satisfied’, well, that’s okay. No one else seems to be living the life they really want to anyway! Why ‘take the road less travelled’ when this road is so paved and comfortable?” Says the 3D self that doesn’t think much about dreaming of more for itself, though the longing may be there for a different way to see itself and to experience life in a more expansive way. Yet, it finds contentment sometimes in simple content that doesn’t necessarily satisfy but does keep basic needs met at least. It is a simpler approach to life and one that less and less people are able to inhabit anymore these days.

“I want to fix and focus on the world outside of me… everything is falling apart or needs to fall apart. I can see the possibilities for the future and it all pretty much looks and feels like Hell. The world is anything but simple and it seems to be getting more complicated every day, with the lies that are told and the awful stances that most are taking! Wake up, world!!!” Says the 4D self, awakening more and more into an awareness of the turmoil, angst and outrageous circumstances in this world of ours. Feeling that everything happening on the outside is what needs addressing and that doing and battling is how to ‘win’. It is hard to feel satisfied by life in any way… or that there is much hope left for this world of ours.

“I want to keep going in, to find the parts that still need integrating. An act that changes the world within and can’t help but change the world with-out too! I have so much energy for it all… from where I am, the world does need help, and it IS moving toward something much better, much bigger, all on its own and also in tandem with all of those who are willing to go within. To me, there is not only hope available, but love has already won.” Says the ever-present (somewhere) 5D self that acts as more than a cheerleader for our growth and expansion, but also as a beacon, a reminder that life really can be good, that we really can heal, and that in the end, there is a much brighter way for us all to shine.

Multi-dimensional you, reading this… I’m willing to bet that you resonate with all three of these points of view, that each ‘self’ of your own is standing up, saying, ‘I totally get this!’. Every stage of awakening is sacred, and yes, you do likely move between these 3 ‘selves’ quite often, depending on triggers or what’s happening in your inner and outer worlds. The ways in which you see and feel the world is expanding, contracting, moving… sometimes from simple pleasures to hope, to despair, to grief, and then maybe back to joy and bliss again. There is so much to trust and feel in each moment of this. It is all finding its way… YOU are finding your way!

Some days it can feel like there is something intense going on within… different ‘selves’ trying to edge each other out to take centre stage and to get your attention, let alone the attention of those around you. Much is being shaken up within. Much is wanting air, breathing, movement. You’re on your way, even with each intense wave of feeling, doubting, hoping, loving.

There’s a way that the world outside of you wants to press on you to feel each of these ‘selves’ and the parts of you that they’re made of. The 5D self is more like a ‘no-self’ in a way, actually, with no parts, yet it is eager to create a greater, more loving container for the other parts of you. Sometimes it can feel like such a stretch to reach for these energies of expansive holding and high-vibe breathing that somehow gets to this place of loving and Divine frequencies without transcending or losing touch with the parts that need to be felt. To be able to live more in 5D is the dream for the near future and the invitation in the NOW too!

There is so much going on within you… and it is all somehow feeling its way, learning its way., finding its way to a greater centre inside of you that feels, trusts, knows that love has already won and so have YOU… ❤

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Awaken To The Love And The Life You Didn’t Know You Were Missing

by Kalayna Colibri

dream landscape

 

How do you know how you want to feel if you haven’t felt it yet, and if all you’ve felt so far hasn’t quite touched something unnamed inside of you, and hasn’t ‘clicked’ in a way that is beyond the mind? How do you know the love frequency that is the most authentic, thorough, challenging, healing, and far-reaching into the depths of YOU, if you haven’t experienced it yet?

New experiences… this is why we seek them. Because we don’t know what we want until we experience it, until we notice it, get tastes of it, see it, hear it, smell it. We know, somehow, that what we have now, or have had so far, isn’t ‘it’, though most of the time, it’s so hard to know what ‘it’ even is…

How do you know how deep your healing can go, if part of you has already declared that you’re ‘done’ and there’s nowhere else to go? How do you know what it really feels like, to surrender to the burgeoning humility that burns you up like a sacred fire inside and wants nothing more than to inspire you like you’ve never been inspired before? A burning inferno of incredible self-love and care that sets boundaries with others when needed, makes bold choices, lights your life up, feels all incoming changes and invitations for change, and lets it ALL in to be felt, heard, held. An embracement of every single part of you and aspect of your soul, wounded or not, that absolutely grips you, makes you want to experience more of yourself, more of life, more of relationship, more of LOVE… this is what’s not only possible but so imminent, all you need ‘do’ is open up that heart of yours and let it in, which does take work, courage, and desire.

This is a call not ‘to arms’, but to heart. This is the call that brings you home, to that place inside that you didn’t realize WAS home, because ‘home’, you were taught, was something you made outside of you, something you settled for, sooner or later, because it’s what your parents and friends did and are doing. You burn with more than this inside you. You blaze with visions that seize your chakras and dance in your dreams. You wake up in the morning with divergent feelings, polarities, taking you in different directions, bringing you to different focuses that don’t always reflect what it is you actually want in life or feel in your soul that you are meant to be and have.

If you want to experience something new in your spirituality, in your emotionality, because spinning around in the same dance isn’t enough for you now and maybe it never really was… In SoulFullHeart, we have a heartfelt and deeply experienced answer for you that may actually be the one you’ve been looking for, that you didn’t realize you were missing… until you let yourself feel it for the first time.

http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

You can try a free 30min intro with Raphael Awen or Gabriel Heartman. Email soulfullhearts@gmail.com or contact one of these men directly through Facebook.

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

 

When The Heart Understands

by Kalayna Colibri

heart-608787_960_720

It’s that ‘heart click’ time. Things that can’t be explained or broken down mentally are coming in now. It’s intuition that opens out from a deeper trust and also a feeling of faith in the lessons that come. This trust is bred from within, from feeling parts that don’t trust you or themselves but want to.

Click.

These moments when something dawns in the sky of your heart hold so much meaning. It is the opening of your compassionate understanding, starting with something finally making sense inside of you. “Oh… so that’s why I’ve felt this way for so long” are words are that will sometimes come to you on these waves of new found inner wisdom and self-discovery.

Click.

Parts of you have tried so hard to live life the way they’re used to, and this isn’t as possible anymore. They are getting tired. Some persona inside of you is wearing thin, wants a break, wants to rest, and may be having a hard time dropping its sword and all its very good reasons for having been there all this time. The outrage and resistance and sometimes also transcendence that you thought was ‘yours’, you can start feeling as belonging to a part or parts of you.

Click click.

These words about ‘parts’ may be starting to ‘click’ now too. This is that ‘heart click’ again, where something just feels true. It just feels like, yes, something inside of you is done with the weight it’s been carrying and probably burying too at times. This whole universe inside of you where many different parts ping in their beautiful though sometimes shadowy constellations of reaction and reticence, is somehow starting to make heart-sense now. Self-forgiveness arises, as you feel these parts in their reality and understand why they’ve been there, why they’ve chosen what they have as YOU, why they’ve acted or felt the way they have until now.

Click.

The love you feel for these parts of you now is the love you feel deepening for yourself as a whole. This love you feel can extend towards others more so now too. You can actually start to feel others without reticence for it. Your compassionate heart is naturally opening because you are regularly giving your own parts and heart what they need. You understand the need for healthy selfishness and you trust more that what is best for you will ultimately be what’s best for others too, even though ‘hurt’ may happen along the way. ‘Hurt’ is a roadmap and part of the sacred journey within. It’s a necessary piece in order to feel the parts that are in pain and have been in pain for a long time, though they may have found some pretty powerful ways to avoid feeling it and what’s at the core of it.

Click click click.

Judgements of others begin to lose their charge and fall away as you feel why they were there in the first place and also the parts that held these judgements start to rest around it all. You are morphing and changing and shifting. More ‘heart clicks’, more Ascension. It’s all coming, it’s all happening, and it’s a lot to let in. In moments of awakening inside, the ‘clicking’ feeling can be so powerful that it rushes through the bodies… emotional, spiritual, physical, social… astral. A lot is downloading as the mind races to grasp what it actually needs the heart to understand first.

And understand, the heart does. One ‘click’ at a time.

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Eclipse Energies Bring A Renewed Sense Of The Sacred Masculine Dance

by Kalayna Colibri

 

solar-eclipse-clouds-man-light

The Eclipse energies are bringing out something NEW in the masculine. It is trying to birth a new sense of what the ‘sacred masculine’ is, which has felt elusive and puzzling, not to mention hard to define. Any definitions we’ve tried to say are ‘it’ have tended to fall short most of the time, for it is still being rediscovered, along with the sacred feminine. It calls for men who are able to embody its messiness of heart and truth on this path of rediscovery. It calls for women to feel it within themselves as a counterpart to the budding inner feminine. The wounded masculine is alive within us all to some degree, until it has really been felt for the protection it has wanted and needed to offer and the tiredness it is feeling more and more as it realizes it IS wounded and does need our love and healing…

This healing can and does happen, the more we hold the desire for it too. It is so much of what needs to be felt and healed in our world as we ‘kNOw’ it today. It is expressed in the ways we claim to ‘know’ what we cannot in many ways, mental approaches to spirituality that do not ask us to embody it and feel it deeply inside of our hearts as arising sacred humans, and it is our okayness and also thirst for war and battles in any way, shape or form. It is expressed too, through our outrage, through our self-image creation and maintenance, through our push-aways from our hearts and the hearts of others, through the walls parts of us have built around us, wanting to contain and protect was is precious within, wanting to keep itself from being felt for what it truly is.

We see and feel it in our leaders and our leadership inside of us too. We feel it in our sexuality, our desires for dominance (though as woman, perhaps this is more subtle or takes a different form than it does for men), our pushing and action-based lives we’ve led. It is something that shows up often in our daily lives, especially when we have not begun to really see it and feel it.

Perhaps this current Eclipse will help bring in more illumination of this inside of you and inside of others. I am feeling it for myself today and these words are what I want to offer the masculine inside of me, inside of you, and inside of all men…

~

To the renewing, emerging, strengthening Sacred Masculine, within AND outside of me…

I invite you into a dance. A dance less structured than a waltz, and as passionate as a tango. I want to fill my dance card with the names of men (and eventually, only ONE man) who feel the pull, the desire, for themselves, for me, for us. I want unchoreographed, spontaneous steps, sometimes in alignment with each other, at other times not. I want the mess of the self-discovery that has us at times wondering how on Earth we’re going to navigate this one, though we both have the gumption, the desire, the courage to keep going inside as the only option.

I want something I can grab a hold of, without tugging or being tugged on. Something that is concrete yet has breathing and fluidity and room for what IS along with what could be and what we both want, starting with what we want inside of ourselves.

The games of old, those ones we never wanted to play anyway, they are being asked to crumble inside of us. They are being set to fall away in avalanches of pure love and sacred union codes coming in, that so do not resonate or match the currently embraced picture of romantic relationship, which is steeped in much emotional and spiritual immaturity and unrealness.

I want to let it all, all we’ve thought we ‘knew’, fly away with the wind in poignant moments of sorting through this from that within each of us and within ‘us’ too. I want to unlearn and relearn it all with you. I want to feel it all bubbling up and bursting within me and within us, and play it all like notes and chords on piano keys, bringing it all to the fore of our relationship ground, that place where it’s safe to do so and yet the precipice of where it could all fall apart (and in phases, needs to) is always there too.

I see you, I feel you, I know you… I trust the heart that is arising and reconciling inside of you, sometimes with contention and male ‘UMPH’. Ugh. YES. The line of abuse cannot be reached by a heart that is working towards its purity and holds deep reverence, respect, love, care, for itself and me too.

I want any resistance that’s here within you, within me, to BE pushed up, to be felt, to be held, to be loved, to be ultimately moved. I do not want the resistance to become the relationship, the reason to slow it all down. I want our parts to know, feel, understand that you are there for them, for your own, that I am there for them, for my own.

I want the genuine, the real, the incredibly HOT sacred masculine that arises from deep within the shadows and caves of the real, the soulful, the heartful, that doesn’t caretake, the penetrates in all the ways it needs to, that mates and creates and brings its truth, even if its truth isn’t polished or perfect or even UNDERSTOOD fully. I want the shit storms. Yes. The masculine in ME wants that, wants to be pressed up, pushed on, noticed, healed, moved, so that the feminine that so wants to dance with it and with YOU can arise more and more as the climate shifts to one where it can, where it is safe to, where it isn’t expected to battle, to be an Amazon, to outrage, but to encourage, to be, to heal, to offer

I want the ‘shit storms’. Yes. The masculine in ME wants that, wants to be pressed up, pushed on, noticed, healed, moved, so that the feminine that so wants to dance with it and with YOU can arise more and more as the climate shifts to one where it can, where it is safe to, where it isn’t expected to battle, to be an Amazon, to outrage, but to encourage, to be, to heal, to offer healing, to LOVE, to have her stillness that is born from an elegant blossom grown in mud and fun too. I want those portals the masculine and feminine are meant to create together, to bring out from each other, to step into in love that is made in the physical and other levels too. And you’ll know if you can do this, by your reaction to these words, that yes, I do feel are coming from a masculine AND a feminine inside of me too. Somehow, I trust that if you’re meant to, you’ll get this. Your maturity will resonate with it and your heart and soul that desire to FEEL and to HEAL and to make genuine, heart open love that travels to the Cosmos and back again with a woman is what you’ll feel now.

This is not coming from a woman who has solely been burned, been victimized, been abused, though of course that lies in this woman’s heart and body’s history with men who haven’t embodied the sacred masculine before or really even tried (save one, who to this day I still heal with consistently and we help each other move a lot, even just as dear friends). My stories of these experiences are not an attachment, though they also live in my Metasoul as well as my emotional and physical bodies. Nothing inside of me is asking you to heal it for me. Nothing inside of me needs you to be something you’re not, for what you ARE, IS the journey for me and for you.

I feel ready. I feel ready to take on something new. I feel ready for what can only move and heal in monogamous, romantic relationship. I feel a new relationship arising to my own inner masculine that wants to become more of the sacred masculine too, and at the same time, I feel my feminity wanting to arise more and more, to be in the space with me more, to feel safer there than she ever has. To share this with a man, who is also feeling inside of himself a feminine counterpart that wants to arise and heal and be, along with a masculine that wants to do the driving, to lead himself to more healing on a REAL level, to be in deep sacred union mateship with a woman that he sees and feels as body, heart, AND soul and wants to claim with all of his being as she claims him with all of hers, THIS is the dream, this is the desire that is bursting from me today. And this is the ongoing invitation, perhaps right now more than ever before with these Solar Eclipse energies coming in and illuminating, shifting, driving us to more and more healing on levels that maybe we could not have imagined before.

My inner masculine and feminine, who are trying to reconcile something with each other in this moment, it feels like, thank you for taking this in right now. They thank you for welcoming their passion, their unknown about themselves that they are looking to discover, their desire to feel it all. Thank you… and I welcome you into this powerful sense of passionate discovery and rediscovery for yourself too.

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Let In Your Wonder, Find Your Creativity

by Kalayna Colibri

 

creativity

Wonder… that feeling place from an essence within us that we can’t uncover until parts of us feel that our life is worth ‘wondering’ about. It IS a place where creativity flows from, the creation of new life chapters, artistic works, and growth phases for ourselves. It is the ISpiration we’ve been waiting for, even while parts of us have told themselves they can’t have it and that it’s impossible to feel this way about life. This is the flow that draws us to another, draws us to nature, draws us back inward to ourselves with deep love and curiosity.

Wonder doesn’t ‘know’ much. It doesn’t even pretend to. It feels and asks questions and sometimes is only in the moment with complete, speechless awe. It is both a full canvass of experience and an empty canvass too. It is a way to project what we want to see and also to see what we could never have expected.

Maybe today is a day to rediscover your wonder, your creativity, your zest for creating and establishing something NEW in your life that is more in line with what you most deeply want, even if it seems there are infinite steps to get there – what if the true journey of getting ‘there’ really lies in fully being ‘here’ first?

I wrote the following words recently, to help express my own creative flow I was feeling and where it seemed to be coming from. It does feel like we all have access to a flow this strong more and more, as we come more into ourselves, our hearts and our souls as Ascension keeps calling us all forth to be IN this flow more. It’s a desirable and empowered place and my heart wants everyone to start feeling it for themselves too!

~

This stream of creation breaks into a run with timings unforeseen and a flow un-ebbed.

There is no prediction for the next piece. It only mounts itself upon the canvass of true love, waiting for the painter to employ its spark of something-ness…

It’s not a time for restless non-creation, but restful creative action and inaction both. A time for baking and making ideas into one creative form or another, though these forms are not pre-formed, only discovered as we go, flow, move onward.

It is an itch that pauses for a moment of brief regard and then beckons you in and onward for more experience of it, sometimes when it hasn’t even been noted as something worked hard for.

A force unforced, it weaves itself in with us and our lives, asking us for more response, more discovery, more wonder, so we can keep creating from this flow a new us, new relationships, a new way to be in and with life that parts of us have never imagined before…

And then…

Only more love and passion can come and live within us and only more wonder and creativity can come with and from the same. ❤

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.