Category: Emotional Body Healing

Conversation With My Spine: Day Two- The Turbulence Of Calibrating To Love

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

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In this exchange with my spine, I refer to my daemon, or soul protector/guardian. It is the 4D aspect of us that is connected to our other metasoul lives. They are a big part of the healing process in SoulFullheart that can also be linked to the bleed through many feel as the veil has been thinning and lifted. A connection with this aspect can assist in huge movements and clearings of the energies that are still stuck in other time dimensions. You can read more about them here.

M: Good morning, Spine. How are you feeling for talking some more? I had a great feeling about where this could all go for both of us.

S: Yes, I am. I felt some great place and energies we could ‘tap’ into together.

M: You just started where you left off.

S: Yeah. It is good to keep this thing a little loose around the edges, man. When a spine gets too stiff and rigid…well, look what happens.

M: Point taken. I can feel where a part of me has been a bit tense with all the changes going on for me personally and then you add in the cosmic theater and it gets to be one big alchemy party.

S: There is a lot going on for sure. There is a lot of rebalancing happening. The prior grid structure that you were linked up to via the spine is in major dissolution. It is dissolving. No longer able to maintain its former control hold. You have many metasoul lives that had been connected to the Paintrix and they are looking to you to lead them into a new world without it. It is a turbulent time for this awakening and that can show up in all kinds of physical (i.e. emotional) manifestations.

M: I feel the largess of that picture and can see why my soul protector got a bit overwhelmed. I see a dam that has held back all the realities of my soul and the cracks are opening up to holes in my felt consciousness. My daemon (soul protector) has been acting as the foreman on this operation and is sounding the alarm bells.  

S: Lol! That is a perfect analogy. I don’t mean to laugh in judgment. It just clearly demonstrates what it can be like for some. He needs to be relieved of the duty and the feeling of responsibility. Lots to navigate and the picture is not as severe as he may make it out to be. There is a lot of self-love around letting in these lives and how to be with them.  

M: I feel your compassion for him and what he has held. That is a whole new avenue to walk down with him day to day. Feeling it all in the moment as these lives begin to bleed into waking consciousness. This whole experience has really helped me to feel the wounded masculine energies that are held in the spine. The restructuring of the spinal code if you will.

S: Yes, most definitely. There is a whole lot happening at the quantum/galactic level that is beyond the consciousness of your knowing mind. What is important here is to feel what is happening with your heart and intuition. This moves WITH the current of Love and the old system was trying to work against it, but was really an actor FOR it all along. I think you can sense what I mean. There are actually no bad guys here. A grand story that is experiencing itself. The spinal restructuring is akin to seeing that there was another story undergirding this one all along and that creates a bit of a shock to the system.

M: This is getting out there, man. Whew! I want to see about bringing this closer to home….to the heart.

S: Yeah, totally. I can get locked into the mental picture sometimes as I too am in recalibration mode. You have much to feel with the part(s) of you that have been invested in the old way of being in the world. It is another personal awakening phase, but this is an awakening into something less tangible and more fluid. It is not getting to locked into “this or that”, but following the intuitive sacred heartmind and getting lost in the flow so that you can’t even begin to track mentally. This is presses against a control mechanism that is built-in for safety and protection. Keeping the gig going. You are being asked to realign the spine to the heart instead of the brain. 

M: That is a weird picture, but I get what you mean.  

S: I can sense that. The literal interpretation makes no biological sense. This is the new wild frontier partner and there is a new sheriff in town and his name is Lovie McLovin.

M: Seriously….I think it is time for you to get some rest. That was just awful, yet somehow funny.

S: You giggled. You can’t hide that. I am feeling a bit better apparently. Getting my goof on. That is a sign of realignment to the flow of being. Okay, let’s call it for today. I have enjoyed this. Not sure what we said but it felt good.

M: Yeah me too. Time to let this all integrate with a sandwich and a massage.

S: Now that just sound weird.

M: Oh, geez. Here we go….

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Wounded Masculine And Arising Feminine Energies Coming UP For Healing And Revealing

Published on by Jelelle Awen2 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

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There seem to be many themes running in the moment for us to see and BE with as we continue our ascension journey into embodiment of our sacred humanity…not NEW themes, yet more like another cycle around the bend into a deeper level and strata of healing and feeling. One theme is that the wounded masculine frequencies that have formed the foundational energy to fuel our 3D culture are being exposed and disclosed…to be seen, felt, come into the light. They have seemed so powerful, yet, are now running on fumes as the old paradigm structures start to collapse to begin transition into the new. The wounded masculine runs on compensational behaviors to cover over core feelings of unworthiness and core disconnect/separation. It operates on lack of vulnerability and lack of transparency using diversion and distraction strategies. You can feel and see this in the exposure happening now of false kings in the entertainment industry, government, banking, etc. how they are now being dethroned as their wound-based actions toward the feminine are revealed.

It can be tempting to lash out at this wounded masculine as it is exposed….to feel bitter and resentful, to turn on it. Yet, this outward outrage actually stems from inside and only feeds the fires that can hurt and burn. Going within to feel deep compassion for the wounded masculine WITHIN us is a key aspect to moving through this disclosure process with love. To feel how parts of us have felt like both perpetuator AND victim this life and in other lifetimes too. Not going to battle AGAINST these energies, yet seeing and feeling how, underneath it all, they are just seeking and want love. Being open to the recognition that these energies live inside of us and seem to express as our Inner Protector aspects, plus Inner Punisher and Inner Mother/Matriarch or Inner Father/Patriarch can help huge with this holding and response.

After many years of working with different parts of myself and with others, these are the energy tones that I feel most represent the wounded masculine as conditioned and formed into our 3D self. Working with these masculine energies is what allows the feminine to arise in an authentic way, freed finally from the warrior and overly masculine tones that are NOT hers to hold and energize. As the Inner Protector lets go of its stance of protection through inner negotiation, the feminine (in both men and women) can come into BEing as the seed of her expression receives the water of self love and love with Divine Feminine guides/aspects such as Magdalena, Mother Mary, Kuan Yin. Directly connecting with these aspects through journaling, guided meditation, and ‘dropping into ‘their energy during sessions is what we offer through our SoulFullHeart process. And, then we feel and explore this on the 4D level as the wounded masculine expresses in our Metasoul line/other lifetimes and archetypal frequencies too. More information here about our process for navigating this: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess

There is a deep connection in this collective wounded masculine disclosure process with the dissolving of the 3D matrix created out a fear-based (yet previously necessary for growth) collaboration between us on the soul level and some Reptilians/Archons/Anunnaki. Their wounded masculine-based timeline of dominance and suppression ‘over’ us is collapsing as more of them choose love over fear. The implants and hookups that we previously needed in our soul fields/chakras are loosening or dissolving as this choice point happens. I have written many times about the choice points they are being offered as a species on soulfullheartblog.com….relocation to a beautiful, tropical environment planet as they choose redemption and rehabilitation. It seems to be important to support this process by letting go of fear-based and polarized energies against them…this becomes yet another battle ground otherwise (that actually, again, stems from within). Connecting with your inner Reptilian aspect (which can form another layer of Inner Protector) allows for the flow of compassion and to act as ambassador to their choice points toward love with your support.

If you are in a relationship, you may be feeling the stirrings and churnings of this wounded masculine/arising feminine within your relationship. This can lead to more conflicts, disillusionment, and even desires for completion of even long-term relationships. The gaps in your transactability are revealed as what has been able to be covered over can not be anymore. If you have been awakening and your partner has not, resentment from parts of you may be growing around this and, also, authentic desire for more soul resonance, vulnerability, and to service love together (which is ultimately the reason for being in relationship at the higher soul level.) These frequencies of wounded masculine as they live inside of us and are being moved in the collective also play out in our relationships, impacting how we experience our partners, what parts of us are related with each other, and what we project onto them.  Becoming conscious of your own parts allows you to navigate the relationship in a very different way with a new level of consciousness and emotional maturity in responding to your partner.

As the wounded masculine continues to transmute and transform into a higher vibrational frequency of sacred masculinity, the possibilities for balance and union between the masculine and feminine become revealed to us. We discover and BEcome this from within and we can then offer this to a world that desperately needs it as it transitions from polarized and fear-based expressions of gender into NEW expressions of a conscious duality dance based in LOVE.

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond.

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

 

 

Conversation With My Spine: Day One- Creating A Relationship To Pain

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

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Flowing out of my last blog about my recent spinal pain issue, I have decided to share my journaling that I began with my spine. It is a tool we use in SoulFullHeart to create an energetic space between our authentic self and a part of us that holds different sources of energy that block our letting in of higher frequencies of Self and Love. In this case, my spine is acting as a conduit of my Higher Self to help me gain a greater perspective to the pain that has been with me for several weeks.  This in turn helps me to hold the different lower frequencies that are accessed in both this and other life wounding. It will be an ongoing conversation for as long as it is meant to last. *NOTE: (M) is for me, and (S) is for spine. 


M: Hello, spine. I wanted to start a dialogue with you and connect with you more intimately. Feel you as a part of me as well as a guide and teacher. Are you open to that?

S: Yes, of course. There is much dis-ease going on and I would love to help shed some light to help both of us feel some deeper meaning, not just solely relief. But in the moment that would be certainly welcome. Where shall we start?

M: Hmmm….great question. I thought maybe you could shed some light on what you feel is the cause of all this pain that feels unending to another part of me.

S: Well, that is one place to start. The feeling that this is going to last ad infinitum. It is understandable to feel that when it does appear that it just goes on and on without some measurable indication of relief. You and I have been around long enough to know that that isn’t true. It is a signal of a deeper wound that doesn’t trust in the process that is being offered to you. This comes from many lifetimes of not trusting the Divine and the journey you chose before time immemorial. Trusting to let go of what you learned in order to remember.

M: That last sentence had a reverberation in me. Thank you. The tension that exists in you feels related to that fear of letting go.

S: Yes. Indeed. So much love and goodness has entered your kingdom and a part of you has a hard time truly believing it is all real. It rubs against unworthiness and it can sabotage the inflow. Nothing like a shot of pain to keep you from fully feeling the Joy that is showering upon you.

M: That is especially true. Geez. I can feel how I have been what we call ‘fusing’ to the pain, where I just become it, not separate from it. It filters so much about what I, Gabriel, feel about what is happening. Talking about this with you helps to feel the distinction. A very powerful discernment.

S: That is exactly it! It is about YOUR power. To not let the power be in the hands of the pain. You can be WITH the pain and not OF the pain. Empowerment is the leading edge of the spine. Choosing to subvert the power to the pain itself makes you a victim to it and thus yourself for you created the pain in the first place! 

M: This is where it gets hard for a part of me to swallow, but I can feel how that is easier than accepting response-ability. Responding to the situation from a place that has a higher frequency of energy even in the throws of the pain. A process for sure. It takes the time it takes to get to a place of No More.

S: That is the activation of your Higher Self. Not in a way that looks to solve the problem but to respond to it in way that brings a larger picture of the emotional and spiritual landscape. You said “enough was enough” and you chose to journal. I am acting as a conduit of your Higher Self. What better way that through the spine!

M: Agreed! I didn’t feel much angst in you that I thought I would, but a lot of reverence and compassion for the situation.

S: A part of you may certainly hold that energy but if I am truly your spine I would want you to be in your most empowered state. So much has been assumed that reacting to a situation with an energy of dominating or fixing is what Spine is all about. It is not. It is about fully feeling what the most vulnerable place is within you to respond to. What is the fear that a part of you has around love and leadership? For this is also about leadership and stewardship. It is arising in you as the frequency of Gaia and SoulFullHeart continue to rise.

M: This is the part that also feels so true about this pain. An intuitive knowing that I am a part of this shift in a way that is yet totally unknown and unknowable to a part of me and causes a tension of doubt and uncertainty. I feel like there is a whole lot to discuss with you and that this could go in so many ways. Maybe best to call it a day for now and get back at it tomorrow.

S: Clever. ‘Back’ at it tomorrow. Very nice.

M: Not intended, but I will take credit. 🙂  Thank you for the illuminating conversation. I feel a lot of movement from this connection and I feel it is helping to integrate something in me.

S: That is the name of the game, my man! Let’s keep the flow going tomorrow. Lots to cover one vertebrae at a time.

M:  Hmmmm…spinal humor. Not sure about that one.

S: It’s okay. The other spines with get it. INside joke.

M: Oh, boy.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Law Of Attraction: Being, Healing, Receiving

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

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Yesterday, I was sweetly asked by someone to share my thoughts on the Law of Attraction, based on a Facebook post I reshared from last year. The original post was a very short letter to the Universe, declaring only a couple of things I really, really wanted… one of them was a new laptop, the other a new cellphone and the third was a sacred union romance. I haven’t typically been someone to create vision boards or set goals or even write letters such as this one. I remember that when I wrote it, I was riding high on an influx of energy from having spent quality time with beloveds the day before. We in SoulFullHeart love to feel and talk about our desires and to feel the possibilities alive in them, though of course we also feel the trailing edge reality around this for parts of us who are fearful or anxious about ‘not getting what they want’.

When I reshared this year-old post, I did so to celebrate that these three desires actually DID come true. It was very sweet to feel this for several reasons, one being that for most people who earn much money, buying something like a new laptop or phone wouldn’t take them a whole year to manifest. In fact, the way so many still live is for instant gratification, trying to satisfy needs, wants and desires as soon as possible, so that the journey to actually living these desires out is as short as possible. It becomes a medication for the parts who actually feel that nothing will ever be enough for them, especially when what they really want underneath the desire for ‘things’ is love… the second reason is what this post proved to a part of me that doesn’t always trust in the Universe or the Divine or even me as the one who is holding and feeling her. Yes, it may have taken about a year to see these desires to fruition in my life, yet they did arrive and the work to bring them in happened both intentionally and unintentionally, meaning that without being directly dedicated to ‘finding’ or ‘accomplishing’, I focused my work within, as I always do. There isn’t anything we can truly control when it comes to getting what we most deeply want. Money, it feels like, can offer the 3D self a false sense of control, as do books and practices like ‘The Secret’. It really isn’t up to you to manifest what you feel you want most in your life. And it isn’t the fault of parts of you if it hasn’t manifested yet, either. So much of this is simply not up to us, and that is VERY humbling to let in…

When I went into meditation with Kuan Yin this morning, I asked her to feel the Law of Attraction with me. She had me feel my mind and my heart, both. I realized that my mind focuses on logistics and doesn’t FEEL the desire so much as thinks long and hard about how to ‘make’ it happen and all of the obstacles or problems that may ‘get in the way’, including money, of course. My heart, however, feels the desires, feels the possibilities, and gets lit up by them or doesn’t. I feel it’s the ‘lit up’ feeling within, that sends out beacons of possibility and draw and also gives the sense of what is most deeply desired, versus what is only a whim or vague possibility. The energy we hold around all possibility is a big part of drawing it to us… do parts of us or Metasoul aspects feel despair about wanting a sacred union romance? Do they feel as if they will never get what they want in a material or emotional way? Are they trying to transcend these trailing edge feelings and wanting to only feel that it’s possible? We draw mixed experiences to us as needed, to help us see and feel these parts more and more.

Perhaps it’s a matter of ‘gestation’ rather than ‘manifestation’, as Kuan Yin offered to me that ‘being’ your way and feeling your way to your desires is really the only path to bringing them in, at least when it comes to the deeper ones. Drawing in a sacred union romance is about BEing, giving space to parts of you, healing your way to it. Finding yourself a new cellphone or laptop can feel just as magical as letting in a romance if the time is taken to be and feel your way there and not necessarily ‘take action’ or ‘set goals’. The same could be set for weight loss or money-earning. There is so much to be and be with as we become… as we continue to shift inside of ourselves through the inner excavation process of deep feeling that we offer in SoulFullHeart.  As we do so, the steps unfold and alignment happens in an organic, flowing, flowering way, especially in these days of ramped-up Ascension energies, where this is becoming the reality more and more easily as our energies continue to move upward.

Attracting or drawing what we most want, begins with feeling the wants, working our way to feeling what’s real about them and what deeper desires could be underneath them, helping us detach from the outcome in humble surrender. We are brilliant co-creators as arising sacred humans, work consciously and unconsciously in tandem with energies in the multi-verse inside and outside of us, and those around us who fill us up with love while we offer and BE the same to and with them. If it’s really about love underneath it all, then love is what needs to be present in our hearts, in an ever-deepening way through our healing, in order to truly reach those heights of BEing that we feel called to bring in, in whatever form or fabric that takes in our unfolding 3D-5D reality consciousness. ❤

If you wish to learn more about the SoulFullHeart process, visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess for more information.

Also, THIS coming Sunday, Raphael and Jelelle Awen will be hosting a live stream on Facebook and Youtube! Check it out, starting at 11:11am CST (Mexico City).

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Canary In The Heartmine: The Deeper Messages Of Our Physical Pain

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

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Physical pain has persisted for me over the past 3 weeks starting with a throat infection for a week and then neck and back muscle tension for the last two. It has brought me into a lower frequency that has been hard at times for me to try and find space around and to get in touch with as it holds many messages for me. The timing of such pain is always notable and important to feel into. Deep sacred romance opens up new deep well oil reserves of fear around the protection of the heart and what Love is truly asking us to surrender and show up for, both. This oil can arise in many forms and physical symptoms are one of them.

How we relate to the pain can block or aid in the love flow. I have felt how the pain has brought down my frequency and has sent me into deeper slides of unworth and inadequacy. Without feeling the higher frequency within us to hold a broader loving context, the harder it is to feel like you are not stuck in quicksand. Sometimes it is just surrendering to what the pain is needing from us that can see us through to the other side. I “have” pain, as opposed to I “am” pain. Big distinction.

So the pain is reflecting the fear from a part of me in response to Love. Not just with a beautiful heart and soul, but with Love itself. You cannot be in a sacred romance without also being in relationship to the greater Love That Is. It highlights all the wounds and also waters what is growing inside of you. What it is inviting you to show up for on a grander scale. This is the call that leads you to more vulnerability and not less. More transparency and less hiding. More responsivity and less passivity.

I am being told that my old ways of relating to myself and the world are drawing to a close and it is time to clear the old to make way for the new. This clearing isn’t always pain free yet doesn’t have to be torture either. Our souls have different ways of reacting and mine has tended to be on the more dramatic side. Time to uncheck those boxes for it is no longer needed or desired anymore, but I needed it until I decided I didn’t need it anymore.

The pain is the proverbial “canary in the coalmine”. It is our messenger of what is dying and what is arising if we can get above it with patience, surrender, and deep self-love and care. We are truly the creators of the pain. It is so hard to get our 3D conditioning to move out of the way enough to be able to let that reality in. Our 3D self has been in the Paintrix for so long it really doesn’t know that anything else is possible. It is a way to avoid the real emotive and soul pain that lies deep within that is just seeking the light of our compassion.

I could feel my heart going out to those with severe chronic pain issues. It is not a pleasant place to exist.  To be able to feel the hidden and fearful parts of you that may be seeking to be felt even as they appear resistant, can lead to much healing and understanding of the gift it was always meant to offer as opposed to a dagger.  Love is the hospital, you are the heart surgeon, and your pained parts are the patients. Time to go in and see what they need from you.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Needing To Be Needed VS Wanting To Be Wanted

Published on by Raianna ShaiLeave a comment

By Raianna Shai

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In some ways, it’s a lot easier to be needed than to be wanted. Parts of us even need to be needed, finding self worth in having a job or role to play. This way, you don’t have to involve your own needs or wants into the situation, creating the least amount of tension possible. The recipients of the caretaking in this scenario have some lack going on inside themselves as well. If a friend needs you to hold the space for them to air out their feelings and “solve” their problems, then there’s probably very little space in them that’s able to hold it themselves. There’s nothing wrong with this, it’s just what most of us have been conditioned to do, look to the outside in order to heal what’s going on within. But in the grander scheme of things, how can anyone heal from the outside what’s felt most strongly on the inside?

So, the people and parts that choose to be the ones to focus on “fixing” others end up feeling like their needs are getting met because everyone else is happy. For myself, a part of me loves listening to everyone’s pain and trying to sort through it in order to help them. That way, this part did its “duty” of being a kind person and remaining in good graces with the other. And at an even deeper level, felt like it didn’t have to address the issues going on inside me. I would spend so much energy with this part feeling how to help the other person that there would be no room left for me – or this part!

Recently in session I felt into the idea of being wanted instead of needed. I wanted to feel why it scared this part of me so much. What I came to is that being wanted is vulnerable. Asking the question – does this person want me? – is even more vulnerable. The pain of realizing that the answer could be no is so much to bear that this part of me kept me at a very surface level with everyone so that I didn’t have to feel it. And I felt the deeper pain from this part of not being wanted by me – therefore projecting that out onto others. I remained a nice and smart person and couldn’t let anyone see any deeper than that, securing my identity through those two adjectives. Because if I’m nice and smart enough to be liked and needed, then why ruin that?

When you shift the tables on these parts of you and energize that you want them, not that you need them, an interesting reaction can take place. This part of me felt overwhelmed that he could have his own needs, and not fade into the background. That I want the mess, the contention when necessary for growth, the depth, the gifts, everything that comes with feeling this part as an individual entity, not as a role to play for others. Releasing the hold on this identity and role creates a lot of fear around who you actually are, behind all of the masks.

Asking yourself, am I wanted?, is both terrifying and illuminating. It can also be empowering, to realize your worth and decide that you want more. That you no longer want a relationship that thrives off of the skeletal outline of the bigness you actually are. When you choose to only be wanted and healthily needed, you draw so much more of this. More of what you want and need, more of what you deserve. We all deserve to be felt, to let in and to give love, to know each other’s deepest pains and biggest heart desires, so long as we ask for it and feel the pain that goes along with any possible outcome.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, retreats, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Entering The Loops Of Core Wounds

Published on by Kasha Rosa3 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

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Core wounds play within us like looping lyrics to a song which you can’t remember what it’s called, but you really wish you could… it’s an unfolding mystery, wrapped in clues of layers of reaction and tears too as you make space for the parts that have been holding on to so much, for so long.

Sometimes these lyrical loops last for years and years, sometimes even lifetime within lifetime too. The same messages, the same patterns, are highlighted for us over and over again by parts within us – some that want to keep paving it over and some that want to be felt for the reasons why they’ve been holding this loop in place… and why they find it so hard to let it go.

It takes very specific life circumstances, a certain amount of love surrounding us and flowing within from us to us, for these loops to become more apparent, amplified, even to the point where you feel as if you are going completely crazy or that there really won’t ever be another side to the endless abyss of it all. This is often when we enter the darkest forest of our lives, the Dark Night, yet also the most brilliantly dawning Bright Day approaching. So many identity fragments coming apart at the seams, so much that has been buried deep within, now comes up and out, all held blessedly in Divine Love. These are the times when your closest possible relationship with the Divine can come in and be with you… when new awakenings arise, letting the purest frequencies of love in, so pure that the mind cannot track it, as it’s not something experienced in 3D life.

The bruises at the core of your heart… these are being touched now, as much as parts of you are ready to let in, even when they don’t think they’re all that ready to do so. Life finds a way to be a conduit for this healing, bringing you healing paths that could help you go into it, either by bringing the wounding more forward through taking in abuse from false or unhumbled healers, or by taking in pure love frequencies that can flow to you through the hearts of healers and leaders that are doing the same work they are leading you to do. Either way, there is an opportunity for deep empowerment and letting in of YOU, of the you that wants to birth into and through your heart, providing a balm for all that has been painful and hard within… the cycles of inner punishment, inner belittling, inner bullying, inner battles, that want to come to new conclusions or inconclusions, and a letting in of the wonder of life, the wonder of the world, the wonder of YOU.

Step by step, layer by layer, Divine invitation by Divine invitation, you can and will find your way in deeper… whether this completes for you in this life cycle or in another one to be realized. ❤

 

The work we do and offer in SoulFullHeart, reaches into these hard-to-feel and often hard-to-really-see places inside of us and inside of you. There is so much we can illuminate together through session space and other offerings as well. To learn more about the SoulFullHeart healing process and the 30 min free intro we offer, please visit: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Inner Matriarch And Wounded Feminine Legacy

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

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Messages of being a warrior, how to stand up to men… conditioning around fighting, especially for our equality, in a world that seems to want anything but. Over-expressing our sexuality in an unemotional or emotionally immature way, or choosing to deny its presence altogether… there is so much templating going on, so many living examples of how to become a matriarch – strong, unsentimental, yet very often unfeeling too. All of this is an expression of the pain and wounds inflicted by a patriarchal culture, yes, and it is all a reflection of how a part of each of us has chosen to be and act in reaction to it. As a collective, modern womanhood has successfully buried what it means to be soft and still, especially as the Inner Matriarch, who is often also the Inner Mother, typically has never been offered a sense of what healthy womanhood is or could be, and thus wants to believe that softness is weakness, the mind and body are ultimately what matter over the heart, and that femininity means building a self-image of femininity that is often depicted in ways that at the core, are actually another expression of the wounded masculine, but with a feminine face.

The Inner Matriarch forms inside of you, following your nearest feminine conditioning while growing up, passed down by your mother or another female caregiver. Even if the influence seems subtle, it is likely working inside of you in many ways, including how you express or choose not to express your sexuality, how you feel about your gender, how you feel about and relate to men and other women as well, and how you navigate many other aspects of your life too. The Inner Matriarch, in this way, is also the Inner Mother – a significant part of any woman, that carries within her the legacy of the matriarchal lineage in her birth family, often to a large degree.

It can be challenging when living out this conditioning, to even realize this is what’s happening. So many patterns are being relived by you that your mother and likely her mother before her also lived out… or, this part of you could be trying to deliberately choose to do the opposite, yet somehow, there is something still playing out that runs parallel to the matrilineal conditioning and grooming. It’s nearly impossible to feel what this legacy really has held for this part of you until you have taken the space necessary from your own birth mother in order to truly feel it. The Inner Matriarch that could be leading much of your decision-making and relating to self and others in your life as you have known it so far, will blend into the tapestry woven by the other women in influence in your birth family and sometimes also in your group of friends. This is why the advocacy for space and going inward is so invaluable.

The Inner Matriarch is often a way in which the pervasive patriarchal culture gets to live on… she has had to become the way she is in order to stand up to and survive in this environment, or so she has been so deeply conditioned to believe. It takes more than the  ‘inner strength’ of any female warrior archetype… it takes the strength of vulnerably feeling where the damage and hurt have been inflicted, bringing it back inward into your heart, and letting feeling waves in. It takes the courage to take the next step to even acknowledge this part of you, to feel and own the conditioning she has had and needed for so long, and to let in that something new could arise. The true feminine arising is a mystery wrapped in an enigma at times, with a soft touch that can also challenge and set boundaries as needed, without nastiness, pettiness or cruelty and without an all-out suppression of inner truth on the flipside of that.

There is a balance that can be lived into, where the rose of feminity can wrap around a healthy, vulnerable spine made of self-love and worth, coupled with a healing and humbled heart that now gets to lead the way… and this is what is offered as the Inner Mother and Matriarch gets felt and begins to heal from the long, long road she has been walking for so long, softening into the frequencies of a Sacred Queen. This is also what opens out the possibility of a nourishing Sacred Union romance with frequencies of heart, body and soul resonance that are nearly impossible to feel with the intensity of a wounded Inner Matriarch expressing predominantly in your life. There is much to go into and feel with her, yet it is all worth it as you begin to realize what your own version of the authentic and ever-arising feminine self is and could become as you move into more and more healing on all levels of your being. ❤

 

 

For more information about going into your own SoulFullHeart process and having space held for this part and other parts of you, please visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess. We would love to serve love with you on your own journey into your deepest healing possibilities and timelines…. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Releasing Deep Pain And Soul Trauma

Published on by Jelelle Awen2 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

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This is so touching to me……beautiful testimonial offered from Maria Douglas, who I worked with through SoulFullHeart sessions, about her experience and ongoing healing integration. It’s always an honor to serve love WITH a soul, no matter how long it lasts or how deep it goes. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions to read more about our process, sessions with Raphael, Gabriel, me, or Kalayna, and how we very uniquely respond to heart and soul healing/awakening/ascension. What aspects are inside of you waiting for your acknowledgement, connection, and love?

“Following some months of sessions with Jelelle, I can honestly say that some deep pain and soul trauma has been released. For many years I have suffered with the thoughts of not wanting to stay on this planet. Deep in the night I would battle with thoughts of what is the point of my being here and feeling like a failure on many levels particularly around relationships. I have kept this a secret for most of my life but through sharing with Jelelle in a session she was able to help me move through this by connecting me with my parts. I have felt that something deep has shifted for me with my inner protector/soul guardian. The deep pain and dark dialogue at night seems to have stopped.

What also contributed to this was deep connection with the help of Jelelle to one of my metasoul aspects, ‘Aryehsia’. This has been helping me to integrate her with my 3D self ‘Maria’. I was able to help Aryehsia come to a peaceful place by changing her timeline. She is a priestess and healer who was in a Temple community that was under the threat of destruction from patriarchy. Her sacred way of life was being threatened and she felt that her life was in danger.

‘I have sent Aryehsia to a beautiful cottage in the country side with another sister called Marisha and the horses and other animals to safety. By dawn they fled together. Telling the other sisters of the temple that they could follow if they wished to but now the time to flee to safety. Sun light was rising. Gone to a beautiful land now with mountains, forests, lakes and rivers. Orchards and stables and a sweet cottage. They lit a fire. To live off the land and be self sufficient. Free of fear. Protective white light placed around their sacred land so they cannot be touched by troubles. They are safe to be seen. No more secrecy. She is safe with her horse Persia. In love and safety forever, being the good, sweet souls that they are in peace. In peace always. I can visit again anytime. Love them so much sweet souls of mine’.

I have felt much more peace following the sessions. I have tried many spiritual teachings over many years but I can honestly say for me this has been the most powerful at my stage of ascension. Jelelle is a sweet, wise and caring spiritual teacher with such a capacity for love. I can’t thank the Soulfullheart Community enough for their support on my awakening journey which is forever in progress.”

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Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond . Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about a FREE intro session with a SoulFullHeart facilitator, group calls, videos, retreats, etc.

Healing The Patriarchy From Within

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

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Years ago, early in my healing process, I needed to take time away from family. I needed to feel myself outside the familial conditioning to really get a good feel for who I, Gabriel, really was. I needed to feel the ways in which I had been influenced to perceive myself and the world around me. This was especially true for my relationship to my father as he played a big part in my masculine conditioning and relationship to others, both male and female. He had many different effects on me that formed wounded aspects inside myself. I needed to hold and feel those parts of me as a new father template in order to relate differently to the world and others around me.

I remember as a boy my mother would tell me at times how much my father would remind her of his father, my grandfather. I remember feeling that in my own self as I became older, taking on so many physical and personal mannerisms. Taking on the family male legacy of anger and alcohol, the perception of women, and the internalizing of the patriarchal need for control and reason. As my parents divorced and my mother remarried, I took in another father figure that had just as much influence but in different ways. The Inner Father imprint was becoming embedded and it had its effect on my own sense of authenticity.  Who was I really when I was trying to listen to my own internalized father figure?

This part of us takes on a 3D patriarchal energy that comes from the more collective psychic wounding. It is one that has influenced my relationships with women and men. It has filtered my receptivity and openness to possibilities. My own inner feminine was a kept maiden, not feeling safe enough to express and emote. My inner child was suppressed to keep things in a serious and logical framework. Not much play in the world of the patriarch.

But in the unearthing and untangling of the inner father, you find the reasons for it all. There is no bad guy in the process of healing and integrating. Going into my own inner father wounds, I could feel the grander heart of the Masculine at large. The power of sovereignty and compassionate truth-telling. The desire to end the war within and be in collaborative balance with the feminine.  I could feel the the edges of my unworthiness and the real fear of surrendering to what needs to be reflected back at me as part of my growth and opening heart.

Through the process, my inner father takes a step to the side of me and becomes more of a brother, and then as the defenses soften, a younger, more boyish quality comes in and he begins to feel like a son.  I could feel my own biological father in more of his essence, encouraging me to continue on my healing journey and becoming like a guide to me along the way. It is a remaking of the past within the present moment where all things truly exist. A healing that has quantum effects between our hearts and souls and those of the collective father and son relationship.

The harder, less flexible side of me began to soften, be less defensive and more reflective. It has become less linear and more open to surrendering to the moment and letting the flow of life have its way while still holding personal will and desire in the mix.  When I do feel this energy arise I can feel what is underneath the frustration and need for control. Usually a deep wound of feeling powerless and overwhelmed in a world that feels like survival is the only reason to be alive. As I connect more with the Divine Father inside me. the more my own inner father can rest and let go of his Reign, which can feel very existential to them as the control is all they have ever known.

In the letting go, the suppressed feminine energies within can arise and begin to dance with the healing masculine and create a balanced energy that can penetrate while letting go of the outcome and the need for a particular result. It opens the heart to a more dynamic and authentic relationship with women in general and more specifically in a co-creative sacred union partnership. It shifts the collective patriarchal energetic structure and helps lead a new paradigm of leadership and stewardship of a New Earth and New Sacred Humanity.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.