Category: Parts / Subpersonalities

Loving Your Inner Beast

Published on by Raianna Shai5 Comments

By Raianna Shai

Self judgement and unworthiness are feelings that are hard to reach the root of. It can take years of unraveling just why and how we truly see ourselves and how it plays out in our lives. We can point fingers at all the people who made us feel small. The people who judged us. The people who could never forgive our mistakes. The people who invalidated our feelings.

But what about the part of you that has done all the same things? The part that tells you you’re not good enough. That constantly reminds you of your mistakes. That judges every move you make, every awkward thing you do. What if this part of you wasn’t just judging you, but judging itself? And what if all the hate and anger and insults were just this part’s way of trying to protect you? We are not victims to our circumstances, so anyone or anything that hurts you is a reflection of a part inside that hurts you too.

I’ve been working with this part of me lately, which can be called a Punisher part, to feel how and why my insecurity can get in the way of my own self love and how it affects my relationships. His name is Brutus and he sees himself as a beast – like in Beauty and the Beast. And all of the goodness that lives inside me can be represented by a rose covered in a glass case. He is fiercely loyal and strives to protect this rose by any means necessary. But his version of protection is to judge her until she does everything perfectly – then no one else can judge her.

This part of me is not easy to feel. He is harsh, brutal and very unforgiving. Every person that has ever gotten mad at me, judged me, or insulted me has actually been backed up by him. He takes everything that was said or felt about me and multiplies it by 10. He expects me to do better, he feels ashamed for how I acted or things I said, he punishes me for doing something wrong.

So instead of using the knowledge and intuition he has about my emotions to protect me, he actually just makes me feel worse about it. But one thing I’ve learned is that he just wants love himself. In his vulnerability, he feels so much remorse for how he has made other parts of me feel about themselves and in turn, other people. He feels he doesn’t deserve love or forgiveness.

But the second me and all parts of me truly forgave him, he started to shift massively. He turned into a prince and he could feel all that he has to offer. Intuition, discernment, and a healthy protection and transparency about how I’m really feeling.

So when I am feeling unworthiness or when there is a truth I need to say to someone, I can call on him and his opened out heart to say what I need to say. Instead of letting my hurt build up and explode out, we will work together to be honest and loving to ourselves and others. Because kindness cannot come from an empty vessel. We must cultivate it within ourselves so deeply, that we can’t help but overflow into others.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Energy Update: ‘Peak Fear’ Moves Into Love From Within

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

By Kalayna Colibri

Energy update: the New is here… as much as you’re ready to let it in. Yes, it’s exactly like that song by John Lennon that goes, “war is over IF you want it”… if the parts of you that are ready for the battles to end and the fighting to no longer be their primary filter of reality and relationships are ready to let something new in. A new sense of Love and how it infuses and moves through life without a need for sword and dagger.

It’s not so much a matter of asking us to “turn the other cheek”. As I receive this message this morning, I feel it more as an invitation to advocate for your boundaries as needed, even with charge if that’s real for you, but to be willing to feel the impact of your truth and the impact other’s truths have had on you. It’s an invitation to bring our truth with courage and vulnerability, both. And yes, they both can live in you without conflict, as long as the parts of you that have been hurt and even harmed get felt and are held by a growing YOU of heart, soul, and sacred spine too.

Any energy of being ‘against’ is being flushed up to be seen, heard and felt. Parts of you may be good at finding the next righteous battle to fight or protest to walk with. Anything ‘against’ brings in more of this energy and doesn’t actually break the cycle of harm and abuse. Being with the new reality where this is no longer needed doesn’t relieve us from feeling the cries of the world, yet, what are the cries of your inner world? How are these energies of abuse happening inside of you? Fighting them on the outside becomes a never ending war. If we are to evolve and ascend beyond war being a major focus of our human and also galactic consciousness, we have to start within.

This is absolutely a year to really bring everything inward and continue to work it all in your heart and soul. This invitation has always been here, but now that the time of peak fear is underway, perhaps this invitation will start to ring clearer for so many more of us and more consistently too. ‘Peak fear’ means we are at a huge potential turning point… and that the turn to love as the greatest, most important reality, is here and happening!

Much love… ❤️

~

Photo is of the sunset here in Victoria, BC last night. Taken by https://www.facebook.com/pg/ItkasanImages ❤️

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Meet Your Veil Of Amnesia Guided Meditation – DAY 26: 33 DAYS DEEPEN W/ Jelelle Awen (VIDEO)

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

DAY TWENTY-SIX: DEEPEN 33 Day Video Series – Meet Your Veil Of Amnesia Guided Meditation W/Jelelle Awen

This is day twenty-six of 33 in my daily video series called Deepen. In today’s video, I talk about the veil of amnesia that we have chosen as a soul to put over ourselves to obscure and block our remembering and recall of our soul’s consciousness. We chose this veil in order to fully immerse into the experiment of 3D consciousness that offers further growth and learning for us as we experience it. These veils are permeable, and meant to be temporary as the soul can sovereignly chose at any time and in any lifetime to lift them. The veil of amnesia can relate to the remembering of childhood situations, especially those that were traumatic. Accessing the parts of yourself that are still living out these traumas allows the veil of amnesia to lift on them.

Another aspect of lifting the veil is related to having conscious access to other lifetimes/timelines and the Metasoul sisters/brothers that are living in them. This is more than just getting glimpses of a ‘past life’. It is having conscious interaction and gift exchange with them leading to karmic healing on a quantum level. The other lifting of the veil connects to galactic consciousness awakening and remembering star family and activation of your galactic DNA and genes on a cellular level. This veil is placed by your soul’s choice not to fully remember visits with star family this life and supported by star BEing technologies as well that keep the veil in place as it would be painful for you to be ‘living in two worlds’ as you try to acclimate to 3D life.

In the meditation today, Divine Father and Divine Mother join you to start negotiating with your Inner Protector, who protects and guards the veil of amnesia related to this life traumas, especially during childhood. You connect with your Protector and feel their concerns about lifting the veil, which usually have to do with not feeling like you are ‘ready’. You then go to meet with your Gatekeeper, who protects and guards the veil of amnesia related to galactic awakening and Metasoul timelines/lifetimes. You begin to negotiate with your Gatekeeper to start to lift the veil on these timelines. You then experience your veil of amnesia in whatever shape, form, visual it comes to you and you begin to lift it off of you…showing your desire to remember anything that is ready to be integrated and felt.

Here is a video to meet your Protector, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FzBzK5vgck
Here is a video to meet your Gatekeeper, which you may want to do before this one: https://youtu.be/-IZQYBoE6Cg

Thank you for joining me on this twenty-sixth day of 33….as we move into Deepening energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

More about parts/Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

You can watch each video in the Deepen playlist on my SoulFullHeart Experience You Tube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist…

I will be hosting a group session over Zoom to digest your experience during this series for a $11 USD minimum. The next one will be on Saturday, February 2nd at 11:00am PST. More info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/2189383564650970/

You are welcome to share your experiences of this guided meditation here on FB and I will respond to your sharings.

Jelelle Awen
1:1 bridging and ongoing sessions available with me for women over 25 and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators (Gabriel and Raphael with women/men and Kalayna with woman 25 and under) to deepen this connection with your Protector, Inner Child, Lemurian, and other precious parts/Metasoul aspects!

 

 

 

Bridging Polarity In Service Of Love

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

We exist in a polarized dimension. It is not our essence to be fragmented into this and that, yet here we are. It was Divine choice and will to do so. To be so. When we lost the remembrance of that, it was like a babe being lost in the woods coming out of a dream. We saw and felt separateness in our most primal state. So we constructed, suppressed, and experimented with power in order to shore up the fear of that existential and sacred wound.

Timelines and worlds have been created and destroyed in this grand game of hide-and-seek. Seems almost a cruel joke on some level, yet the pain and suffering were the risks inherent in this desire to truly know and experience Love. The Divine has never been complacent to that fact in my heartfelt opinion.

So then what is the purpose of this trauma? This seemingly tragic consequence of the human condition. For those that have faced it heart-on, there is an awareness of this power of Love that goes beyond words and takes you into a dimension of reverence, strength, and awe that was unknown in Its singular state.

We are all a part of that Grand Choice if you truly believe we are a part of this Grand Design. The two cannot be separate, paradoxically enough. So in this way, we have a huge part in this experiment of experience. We feel. We ache. We cry. We scream. We choose. We surrender.

We become aware of this polarity inside as aspects and parts and we build bridges between them. We become aware of their stories, their experiences, their beliefs. From the wounded child/teenager to the fallen kings and queens of our multidimensional timelines. You are this kaleidoscopic tapestry of being that is the seed and vessel of the Cosmos. You are the lightship of leadership that can take us into the New.

This comes with a great price to parts of us that are seeking safety and/or control. There is pain to feel and responsibility to assume, but that is what leads to the greatest and deepest gift that lives within each of us. The power to feel and spread Love as far as the Soul can see.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Photo by Victorien Ameline on Unsplash

Metasoul Timeline/Lifetime Portal Access Guided Meditation – DAY 25: 33 DAYS DEEPEN W/ Jelelle Awen (VIDEO)

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

DAY TWENTY-FIVE: DEEPEN 33 Day Video Series – Metasoul Timeline/Lifetime Portal Access Guided Meditation W/Jelelle Awen

This is day twenty-five of 33 in my daily video series called Deepen. In today’s video, I talk about how to access and heal other lifetimes and timelines that hold karma and trauma. These timelines are ones in which your Metasoul aspects (sisters and brothers) are living out and experiencing in the Now. Rather than seeing them as ‘past lives’, you relate to them as Metasoul sisters and brothers living in the Now that you can have an ongoing relationship with to facilitate deep healing and soul gift exchange openings.

I offer that just ‘dropping into’ a Metasoul timeline (such as what happens in past life regression or soul retrieval) can actually sometimes create more trauma as this experience often remains undigested in this lifetime and in the timeline too. Facilitating for yourself with your Gatekeeper (who is the keeper of access to the timelines) allows you to go into the timeline, establish an ongoing relationship with the Metasoul sister/brother. This ongoing exchange with your Metasoul brother/sister can eventually lead to them choosing to change the traumatic timeline itself. This process opens up quantum healing possibilities for your Metasoul, your Monad/soul family group, and for the collective as a whole.

In the meditation today, Archangel Michael and Sophia/Dark Mother hold space for the exploration into the Gatekeeper realm, which is the portal access to your Metasoul timelines. You connect with your Gatekeeper to establish a bridge to these timelines and to help you lift the veil of amnesia on them. With your Gatekeeper, you enter a portal to a Metasoul timeline that most needs your attention in this Now and meet a Metasoul aspect that lives there.

Here is a video about the Metasoul and access to your akashic records, which can be a good beginning place: https://youtu.be/QOlBc-3-TEg
Here is a video to meet your Gatekeeper, which you may want to do before this one: https://youtu.be/-IZQYBoE6Cg

Thank you for joining me on this twenty-fifth day of 33….as we move into Deepening energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

More about parts/Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

You can watch each video in the Deepen playlist on my SoulFullHeart Experience You Tube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvLiLpw1qSOmQE-tsqhGSAD3

I will be hosting a group session over Zoom to digest your experience during this series for a $11 USD minimum. The next one will be on Saturday, February 2nd at 11:00am PST. More info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/2189383564650970/

You are welcome to share your experiences of this guided meditation here and I will respond to your sharings.

Jelelle Awen
1:1 bridging and ongoing sessions available with me for women over 25 and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators (Gabriel and Raphael with women/men and Kalayna with woman 25 and under) to deepen this connection with your Protector, Inner Child, Lemurian, and other precious parts/Metasoul aspects! More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

 

 

 

Aligning To Presence And Joy Through Feeling

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

Where would you rather be today? What would you rather feel today?

If you have a ready answer then you may not be in alignment with Presence and Joy. I don’t think many, if any of us, can honestly say they are in that space all the time. It is like an airplane that is on course to its destination is never on a straight line path. It needs to self-correct and readjust. These questions are just reminders to be conscious of what we really want and need in any given moment.

So many things bring us out of this sweet spot of Presence and Joy that seem nearly impossible to parts of us that can ever change. A physical condition, a social relationship, a job, financial concerns, or emotional trauma. These are the things that can feel like an infinite wall to climb, to conquer, or to master. Even using those words put you in a power struggle with the only thing that can move it….deep and honest feeling.

We are hard-wired for Presence and Joy, yet we have the software to take us out of it. Maybe it is our freeware as it is our Free Will. We do choose this life, these circumstances. These choices are a response to so much experience both this and other lives. You are not a simple switch, but a powerful tapestry of wounding and reaction. Whether expressed or suppressed. These woundings are your story and your script if you allow them to continue.

The healing of them is not a simple shift of perspective but a courageous dive into the deep end of your heart and soul. The process of healing leads you to more Presence and more Joy as these energies inside of you get their time to be felt, held, and healed with support. This has been a daily process for me over the last six years that continue to offer the fruit of this divine experience. I am never totally in that space all the time. I am progressing toward More. It is in that progress that I continue to feel what it is I need to feel as it arises in my heart.

That is the hallmark of transformation and ascension. Claim it and courageously walk it out. I am here to walk with you if you need it.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

A Reflection Of You

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

Taking in the lunar eclipse last night I could feel its magic, its uniqueness, and its significance. These are rare occurrences in the span of our lives and the way we take them in says a lot about how we take in ourselves. Do we see ourselves as magical, unique, and significant? There is this awe and wonder that come up inside the collective as these celestial events happen. Many of us take the time to really feel what is being offered to us at this time and we integrate that into our next going on places.

It is easy for us then the next day to go back into the “normalcy” of our daily lives and that feeling of awe and wonder go back into their subterranean holding cells for the next reflection of our grandeur to come around and be reflected to us…maybe in the next 75 years.

But what if you could take that with you? What if that awe and wonder were a daily occurrence and not just predicated on external circumstances? That to me feels like the birthing of a new relationship to ourselves and each other. When you see yourself in the mirror this morning, do you see and feel the beauty, the awesome, and the divine within you? If you don’t, and this holds true for almost all of us to some degree or another, then there is your own eclipse happening inside. It is a sacred eclipse.

This is the part or parts of you that are seeking your attention and love so that they, and you, can start to let in more of this perfection and glory that you really Are. It is the protected places, the hurt places, the unworthy places that cast a shadow of great importance. They are the celestial bodies of your inner galaxy. They are your childhood, your growing years, your relationships, and the karmic timelines of your Metasoul. They are all coming around to be seen and felt once more as a gift and not a burden.

When these start to heal in the warmth or your courageous and compassionate heart, you begin to see that glory and grandeur again. The true you behind the wounded you. Yeah, there you are…power-full, meaning-full, beauty-full.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

The Pain Of Letting Go Into Love

Published on by Raianna Shai2 Comments

By Raianna Shai

Letting go is one of the hardest processes we go to through in our lives. Whether it’s letting go of a career, a pattern/habit, a geography, or a relationship it can bring up so much for us to process. Letting go is so much harder than holding on.

Parts of us can judge us for our decision – feeling that you made a mistake, that you hurt or disappointed someone, that you did something wrong or will regret your decision. The best thing to do here is to feel compassion for this part. Give it love knowing that it just wants the best for you and it may be scared that it couldn’t protect you from this pain you may feel.

Letting go is painful but it also leads to a beautiful new beginning. Maybe you get that new job you always wanted or a geography that inspires your heart and soul. Maybe you get the chance at a new phase of an old relationship or a new one that reflects the love you have cultivated inside.

It can feel like you’re dying inside during this process. Like you’ll never feel happy or be yourself again. Or maybe you feel hurt and angry and find it hard to feel why it’s all happening, especially if it felt out of your control. Maybe you can’t feel anything or you can’t stop feeling everything.

And sometimes it comes in waves. A comment here or a reminder there can spark tears at the drop of a hat. Then you have a moment of clarity, a moment of knowing it will all be okay. Then you feel the guilt or the shame and it all comes crumbling back down. These are all parts of you that have reasons for feeling the way they do. Feel the pain, but let the clarity and love hold it all.

Whatever you feel there is always another side of it. A realization waiting to happen. A new love for yourself and life will start to creep in. A new view on what you have and what you want to have will fill your heart and inspire you.

All this can happen if you truly let go. Let go of expectations, let go of judging yourself or others, let go of what others might think of you. Mourn the loss, mourn what could have been and the goodness of what was and then let love fill the space. As hard as that may sound right now, it will come. Whether it takes days, months or years it will come and it will be beautiful.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Lunar Eclipse Supports Feeling Shadow of Polarizations, Invites Unity

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

By Kalayna Colibri

Last night while witnessing the moon’s eclipse and feeling it hanging very close to my field, I was struck by a feeling of emerging sisterhood in my life and process, yet also the potential for it worldwide.

Yet… the temptation for many seems to still be that the way to unify is in anger. The way to find our common ground is to get pissed. To rage. To march. To condemn the masculine… in men yet also in each other. This is masculine versus masculine in the end, leaving the world inside and outside of us without any room for the sacred masculine AND feminine to unite and make love.

Pointing fingers, protesting, arguing without care of where and how it lands in each other is a phase of our relationship to each other that wants to move into something new. It’s a deep shadow expression of our fear of actually loving ourselves and each other. It’s a fear that the cycles of pain will continue while we continue to become a cog in the wheel, contributing to this cycle with that same fear. Real intimacy brings up a lot more than anger and push-away. It brings up tears and vulnerability, it brings up what’s underneath the rage and presses the heart to open in order to keep giving and receiving nourishment.

This picture of relationship I’m describing is not idealized or impossible… I get to live this every day, I get to be challenged by the presence of others who want to keep this flow going within themselves and with me, I get to feel and meet the challenge of continuing to move through my resistance to love and to keep letting it in… knowing full well that doing so means walking into fires of personal funeral pyres as the old way of approaching life and others passes away, and also knowing that it means getting to experience the heaven of a deeper and easier love flow than I’ve ever experienced before.

Even last night… sharing intimacy with my mate Gabriel, feeling his admiration of myself, my body, my heart and soul, I felt my admiration for his and let his male gaze into every pore. I felt so many tears come up and out like a fountain, feeling the pain of my soul and heart in relating to the masculine in ways that weren’t nourishing on either side and feeling afraid of it. Feeling the pain of a collective of women and what they’ve experienced and also the pain of the men who have not ever been initiated into how to make real love with a woman and what it feels like to be truly met or felt on their side either.

The more energy that’s spent in blame-game shaming and pushing away at each other, the less opportunities we create for the deep healing and nourishing intimacy that’s possible, that wants to bloom and blossom starting between parts of you that are polarized to each other but who want love more than anything else in this world. Starting to see and feel these dynamics within is the best and most profound way to shift what you draw in your outer relationships and what you start to see is really possible with each of them. ❤️

For support as you go into this territory and really feel how it all applies or could apply to you, my beloveds and I hold sacred session space for these explorations and more: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Meet Your Inner Punisher Guided Meditation – DAY 19: 33 DAYS DEEPEN W/JELELLE AWEN (VIDEO)

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

DAY NINETEEN: DEEPEN 33 Day Video Series – Meet Your Inner Punisher Guided Meditation W/Jelelle Awen

This is day nineteen of 33 in my daily video series called Deepen. Today, I introduce you to another important part of your inner family formed during this lifetime. Your Inner Punisher is an energy that has formed due to receiving punishment and criticism in this life….usually from a caregiver, teacher, mate, etc. It also forms in response to the dualistic judging in 3D consciousness. Most Inner Punishers of empathic and sensitive people direct the punishment frequencies inward rather than outward at others, although both can be true. Directing the energies inward is a self protection strategy.

The Inner Punisher has a relationship with your Inner Child/Inner Teenager in that it punishes/judges and then there is a corresponding shame/unworthiness reaction from the younger parts of you. It is this punishment and shame loop that is often at the root of much self suppression and staying small patterns in relationships, vocations/soul purpose expression, body image, etc.

The Inner Punisher shifts from making judgements without love and care to the capacity to offer discernments WITH love and bring direct truths WITH compassion. These are very important abilities as we move into our service of love self and serving others.

In the meditation today, Yeshua and Mother Mary provide us with lots of compassionate love as we journey to meet your Inner Punisher. You connect first with your Inner Protector to gain access to this part. Then you connect with the energy of your Inner Punisher and discover what their world looks and feel like so you can begin to create a loving buffer between them and your younger parts.

Thank you for joining me on this nineteenth day of 33….as we move into Deepening energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

More about parts/Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

You can watch each video in the Deepen playlist on my SoulFullHeart Experience You Tube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist…

I will be hosting a group session over Zoom to digest your experience during this series for a $11 USD minimum. The next one will be on Saturday, February 2nd at 11:00am PST. More info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/2189383564650970/

You are welcome to share your experiences of this guided meditation here on FB and I will respond to your sharings.

Jelelle Awen
1:1 bridging and ongoing sessions available with me for women over 25 and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators (Gabriel and Raphael with women/men and Kalayna with woman 25 and under) to deepen this connection with your Protector, Inner Child, Lemurian, and other precious parts/Metasoul aspects! More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions