Tag: 3D consciousness

Filling Up And Serving From The Love-Well Within

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

to love fully 2

To love fully, we must be self-filled, not self-less… this can a hard one to wrap our heads and hearts around, as parts of us tend to be very conditioned to the idea that in order love someone ‘the right way’, this often means sacrificing or over-compromising on many things, including but not limited to, our sense of spirituality, our emotional reality, our lifestyle, etc. It often means that parts of us have been OK with ‘shrinking to fit’ in order to maintain certain relationships, even if these relationships aren’t deeply resonant or nourishing, leaving us feeling drained, depressed, maybe even very ill.

Our 3D selves, often made up of many different parts of us, like our Inner Teenager, Inner Mother/Father (or Matriarch/Patriarch), Inner Punisher, and Inner Protector, seem to have a way of expressing ‘love’ that often compromises even their own deeply held beliefs and feelings. Love then becomes a game of disowning and dishonoring our authentic emotional reality for the sake of others as well as being very self-sacrificial and often martyrs, too. Over-giving becomes the norm and choosing YOU over anyone else becomes a ground for self-punishment and beratement instead of a feeling of needing to fill up the inner love-tank so that you only have MORE to give and receive, too. Chances are that if you are wired-up to live in this more outbound way, you often find yourself drained energetically, emotionally and even spiritually.

I hear many empaths staking the claim that everyone around them ‘drains’ them, painting a picture that their gift of being empathic is actually a burden, which it can certainly feel like to parts of us, especially while this dynamic of over-giving to others and under-giving to yourself is going on. The truth that I have felt and experienced, is that our need to go within is a strong one that shows itself in so many ways… and that the gift of being here to serve love means serving from an overflow of SELF love; a steady stream created within by the waters of self care and creating a sacred space for yourself, your parts, your Metasoul Aspects to land in.

Taking the space necessary in order to find this deep inner overflow is tricky while surrounded by others who do not value this space for themselves. The love we have and want to offer each other will always be there in some form, yet without space to feel and BE in our own hearts and healing processes, means that we are serving water from a dry or drying-out well that needs replenishment which must start from within. It is as important to be with ourselves as it is to be surrounded by others who offer nourishment on all levels of being and in all areas of our lives and that want to support us in taking care of us as well as being supportive towards them.

This felt like an important point to share today, especially as Gabriel Heartman and I have been digesting and sharing a lot about the social area of life in our vlog series, Practical Ascension. If you are curious to take in more about our experience of healing in this area of life and what we offer through the SoulFullHeart lens, you can find our videos on Youtube on the SoulFullHeart Experience channel and on this playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvInP1AB__TzXykZythfad8i

Filling up within can be one of the hardest things to imagine doing for different parts of us, depending on the configuration of our lives, yet it is so important, especially during these times of intense awakenings and upgrades happening on all levels and the increasing depth of our own Ascension processes! Nothing draws the relationships with others that we truly desire, more than being willing to say ‘no’ when necessary, to say ‘yes’ when it feels nourishing and alive, and to find a relationship with ourselves that is truly loving, unconditional and infinite.  ❤

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Current Energies Illuminate 3D Heaviness, Attachments, Pain

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

veil of solitude by Rassouli

Painting: Veil of Solitude by Freydoon Rassouli

The density of this 3D reality… the density of the body, of the toxic foods and practices parts of us have held on to for so long… this is what’s being highlighted now, brought to our attention in visceral ways. There is cellular clearing, yes, physically and astrally too.

When you dream at night, it’s common to perhaps not wake up remembering what you dreamt about but to still feel yourself holding onto and recalling the feeling experience of it all. It can stay with you like that for a portion of your day, flowing into your life with you.

What was once considered important to be and stay attached to by parts of you, is also being highlighted now and you may feel just plain ‘tired’ of it all. Tired of the grind, of daily life scenarios that are less than fulfilling on a heart and soul level, of taking in life’s challenges without much sense of a bigger picture or intention holding it all.

These bubbles are all popping now. Energies coming in and moving through are waking up, shaking up your being and your consciousness level, first by showing you where your heart hasn’t yet been able to flow in concert with all it intends and holds to be true in line with your soul. Irritation, anger, dis-ease, discomfort, depression, heaviness, all signal that there is something that has been rigidly clung to up ’til now, that needs and wants and is asking to be looked at soberly yet with a renewed sense of love for YOU in your heart. Most of what has been held as so important, no longer feels so important… somewhat without an explanation, at least for the mind to grasp, for now.

This is a new reality that wants to birth you and the parts of you still in 3D pain and motivations, into 4D reality and higher. Moving into 4D reality can feel like careening through a dark corridor at times. Passing through 4D consciousness means inhabiting your questions and being open to answers that you can only feel and may not be able to ‘know’ just yet, as it all opens up for you again. It’s an awakening journey that needs more than a simple one-off healing session in order to move so fully into it that you can pop out of it again and into even higher frequencies where love can truly be an ally to every pore, every facet of your being.

As you feel the tension of this new birth canal, you can let in the message that ‘there is MORE!’ to let in. There is MORE to this life, to these challenges, to this tension you have felt. There is more than transcendence as a means to rise above it. There is a deep-dive inside, that brings out the old, over-inhabited conditioning that is getting ready to let go now, that is moving into a place of letting MORE flow into you – more love, more awareness of a bigger picture, more desire for health and healthy habits, emotionally and physically. More lightness and less density and the journey to finding and feeling this, one step at a time.

Your burgeoning and beckoning heart and soul maturation want so much to be held in a process that offers this MORE at and around every single corner. It isn’t a matter of being overly sober or shadow-hunting, but being aware, being open, feeling the immature places, holding them with love, and encouraging yourself, through getting to know and feel parts of you, to keep going IN and growing UP. There is much to feel as the more moves in, for there needs to be room made for it. SoulFullHeart may not be THE answer for everyone, yet it is AN answer and a powerful process bringing many new frequencies and feeling tones along with it. The scariest thing is the newness of what this path offers, that doesn’t look like anything you’ve likely yet experienced…

Riding these waves of energies right now, leading up to this gate opening on 11:11… there is love with you and flowing to you, as all is illuminated and brought up to be felt. It’s up to you, what choice you make, to go into the invitation to more process and deeper feeling spaces. And somehow, no matter what you choose, the goodness of it all is still there and you will never, ever be loved any less than you are right now.  ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Current Energies Activating Your “Not You” True You

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

44

The You that is Not You is getting lit up. Highlighted. Sparked by deep, layered activations in the recess of your True You. The holes in the Whole are gurgling, pulsing, calling. This can come out in so many significant ways that may be interpreted as a simple “this” or “that”. There is nothing insignificant about anything anymore. Never was. The physical symptoms, the sensitivities, the frustrations, the questions, or the sudden collapse of relationship and livelihood.

It grows deep within you. The connection of your Highest Self back to essence. Not to merge back into forgetfulness, but to experience the Dual Consciousness of I As All and All As I. These seemingly random occurrences are Remembrance pains. When these bubbles make their way to the surface, they off-gas into your waking consciousness causing shifts and movements. They can create havoc if you don’t have a means to hold them in a greater context.

Breathing through them is one way to let the energies find their ground within you. Self-loving acts of rest and pleasure can aid in this. They can be beyond mind and our current available consciousness. The work is being done on a much grander scale. There is also much to be felt within our capable and readied hearts. There are messages coming to us that are meant to shake things up that kick up emotional triggers in our 3D and 4D self. Our 5D nature is making its way into the fold and that creates a tension within.

It is not a press, mind you. But an offering that is hard to ignore. With each step Gaia makes, with each opening and integration the collective experiences, the more we are coming closer to what we have always been and yet have forgotten. In that forgetting there is a pain and a fear. There is a lot for our inner parts and soul aspects to feel and release. For those that have signed up for this, it can be quite a crucible to navigate all the energies coming up. The feeling that what life used to be like is not what is meant to continue.

There is a way to be with all these rumblings. This arising awareness. The pain that it may be causing. It is a process of feeling the parts of you that are these bubbling pockets of Not You (Anymore). It is a guided path of “selves discovery” that is meant to bring you back into Wholeness. Into the space of deep feeling and healing. Into a sacred relationship to yourself as Essence and to another as Union. Traversing a subconscious terrain to integrate and express all that is wanting to come into and out of you.

SoulFullHeart offers this very unique and powerful way of being with all that is arising inside and manifesting outside. It is a portal to a deeper version of You that the universe is conspiring in your favor even in the uncertainty.  If it just doesn’t seem to make any sense and you need to feel a set of heartrails to see where it may take you we offer a free 30-minute session to see if it may be a fit for you and your journey.

You can get more of our energy by participating in this Saturday’s group call on Zoom. It will be led by the co-creators of SoulFullHeart, Raphael and Jelelle Awen. This is a great way to take in more teachings and perspectives as well as a guided meditation and time to share and ask questions. You can get more information by visiting  http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/groupcalls

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Healing The Patriarchy From Within

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

36

Years ago, early in my healing process, I needed to take time away from family. I needed to feel myself outside the familial conditioning to really get a good feel for who I, Gabriel, really was. I needed to feel the ways in which I had been influenced to perceive myself and the world around me. This was especially true for my relationship to my father as he played a big part in my masculine conditioning and relationship to others, both male and female. He had many different effects on me that formed wounded aspects inside myself. I needed to hold and feel those parts of me as a new father template in order to relate differently to the world and others around me.

I remember as a boy my mother would tell me at times how much my father would remind her of his father, my grandfather. I remember feeling that in my own self as I became older, taking on so many physical and personal mannerisms. Taking on the family male legacy of anger and alcohol, the perception of women, and the internalizing of the patriarchal need for control and reason. As my parents divorced and my mother remarried, I took in another father figure that had just as much influence but in different ways. The Inner Father imprint was becoming embedded and it had its effect on my own sense of authenticity.  Who was I really when I was trying to listen to my own internalized father figure?

This part of us takes on a 3D patriarchal energy that comes from the more collective psychic wounding. It is one that has influenced my relationships with women and men. It has filtered my receptivity and openness to possibilities. My own inner feminine was a kept maiden, not feeling safe enough to express and emote. My inner child was suppressed to keep things in a serious and logical framework. Not much play in the world of the patriarch.

But in the unearthing and untangling of the inner father, you find the reasons for it all. There is no bad guy in the process of healing and integrating. Going into my own inner father wounds, I could feel the grander heart of the Masculine at large. The power of sovereignty and compassionate truth-telling. The desire to end the war within and be in collaborative balance with the feminine.  I could feel the the edges of my unworthiness and the real fear of surrendering to what needs to be reflected back at me as part of my growth and opening heart.

Through the process, my inner father takes a step to the side of me and becomes more of a brother, and then as the defenses soften, a younger, more boyish quality comes in and he begins to feel like a son.  I could feel my own biological father in more of his essence, encouraging me to continue on my healing journey and becoming like a guide to me along the way. It is a remaking of the past within the present moment where all things truly exist. A healing that has quantum effects between our hearts and souls and those of the collective father and son relationship.

The harder, less flexible side of me began to soften, be less defensive and more reflective. It has become less linear and more open to surrendering to the moment and letting the flow of life have its way while still holding personal will and desire in the mix.  When I do feel this energy arise I can feel what is underneath the frustration and need for control. Usually a deep wound of feeling powerless and overwhelmed in a world that feels like survival is the only reason to be alive. As I connect more with the Divine Father inside me. the more my own inner father can rest and let go of his Reign, which can feel very existential to them as the control is all they have ever known.

In the letting go, the suppressed feminine energies within can arise and begin to dance with the healing masculine and create a balanced energy that can penetrate while letting go of the outcome and the need for a particular result. It opens the heart to a more dynamic and authentic relationship with women in general and more specifically in a co-creative sacred union partnership. It shifts the collective patriarchal energetic structure and helps lead a new paradigm of leadership and stewardship of a New Earth and New Sacred Humanity.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

The Ways We Relate To Our Pain

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

22308903_759323827609590_4179501100791349778_n

Sometimes, when it comes to pain… there are those who soak it in vanity, in glory, seeking pay off, drawing audiences…

There are those who feel, want to heal it, want to move it into a place where there is only now more love, letting in the humility of deeply feeling and healing along the way – often without much of an audience, for there is no glamour really, to be had here…

There are those who want to avoid pain altogether, constantly rise above it, though the swamp below them deepens and reaches up to grab on, often eventually finding its way into the person’s body and life, though the heart of this person is not yet ready to fully feel it all.

And, there are those who feel pain on the surface only, blame all else for it, choose not to go inward, and may never seek bigger answers that actually must first be addressed within.

Amazing it is, to feel how each way of being with the pain inevitably brought on by 3D life as we’ve known and lived it, is sacred and held somehow as perfect for each and every heart and soul… for every single one is walking out and living out what it needs to most in this phase of their consciousness. Each phase is needed in order to graduate to the next one.

This is hard to let in in the moment, yet it feels true to me still, for the heart somehow understands other hearts, even if the mind can’t quite catch up and intuition can still feel the places where the pain has yet to be fully felt in others. It’s all somehow blessed, it’s all somehow good, and it’s all somehow exactly what we all need. 

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  

Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

How The 3D/4D/5D Self Experiences Love

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

forest-1683312_960_720

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65awRvT-amI

Each dimension of our ‘self’ feels and experiences love in different ways. The many parts of us that have formed in order to navigate and be in life as we’ve known it so far, each have their own relationship to love. As we continue to awaken and heal, their perspectives shift and heal too, especially as the growing authentic you that holds and feels them, lets in more and more real, pure love and learns to trust it and what it wants to offer you in every sacred moment of your life.

The 3D self, says, “Love, I don’t trust you and I want to control you, though I also feel you get the better of me and we are constantly at odds. I feel like I will never get what I want, though sometimes I can’t even feel what I truly want… and am pretty afraid to find out. I don’t feel I deserve you in any form and I conspire to push you away. What I have known to be ‘love’ is not something I find very appealing or gratifying in any way.”

The 4D self, says, “Love, I want to trust you more and don’t always get how. I feel you offer more than I have ever thought or felt possible. I feel I want to serve you and be with you and flow more easily with you, though sometimes this feels so frustrating and hard too… this world I live in mostly seems not to have caught up to the reality of YOU yet and what YOU really offer all of us and beyond… I get somehow, or am starting to let in, that you are something very different than what I’ve been conditioned to think you are. I feel something different about you, though I’m not sure what that is exactly.”

The 5D ‘self’, says, “Love… this is what ‘I’ am. And as ‘I am’, ‘I’ serve love in constant, unending flow. The container is ‘me’ as the container is NOT ‘me’… the ‘me’ of before, that related to love as not my very substance, has been healing and tastes of higher dimensions where it all simply is in is-ness… this is REALity. Love is the only real. Life-giving, ever-flowing, always showing us the way inward and back out again. Love melts all ‘I’s’ into oblivion and heat-warmth, in the sweetest way, though the storms of love’s lightning flashes of where it cannot flow within must also be weathered. Love dies not, withers away not… only IS, only ever loves. ‘I’ trust love above all else. ‘I’ can hold the truth of this unendingly, without the need to transcend any doubts of this in parts of ‘me’ that remain in lower dimensional frequencies still. ‘I’ can’t always see the bigger picture, as ‘I’ also control none of it, but ‘I’ can feel it, hold it, tap into it. ‘I’ AM it, ultimately, as ‘I’ AM part of the love that makes up all aspects of it, dark and light…”

As you heal the parts that make up each of these ‘selves’ within you, the level and depth of love you are able to experience shifts in a big way. To actually feel and own that there is something very real about swinging between sometimes all three of these perspectives in a short period of time, is to humbly let in that there is more to go into, inside of yourself… and that there is no ‘perfect’ way to be with love or to be love itself, especially as we grow and learn as sacred humans arising.

To take in more about the 3D/4D/5D selves and how we hold and feel them in SoulFullHeart, you can take in this piece about how each ‘self’ relates to each area of life: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/3d4d5dselvesquestions

❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

We Are A Mysterious Love Story

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

30

Love stories captivate us because we can feel so much of our own desires and reflections in them. They represent our deepest yearnings and lived-in experiences. They help us to feel what it is that lies underneath that which is underneath. We ache for connection so that we can see and feel ourselves in ways we have hard time seeing on our own. So the story is also about us. Our own desire to feel the love within us that is solely about us. As this is cultivated through much inner work, the story seeks to hear itself through the heart of another.

We live in a love story. We are writing it everyday. How we run from it, dampen it, hide it, surrender to it, and dance with it. There are parts of us that are working extra hard each and every moment to keep from really feeling it because of its capacity to change everything in an instant.  The current stories we are living in other dimensions have a huge impact on how we are weaving this one together. Are we recapitulating some of the same themes over and over, or have we chosen to consciously rewrite the script to match what our highest timeline wants for us? What it is we ultimately want, but are too afraid to just ask for and pursue. There is a lot at stake for the part of us that has been keeping the story rolling just fine the way it is, even if it is suffering over it.

There is a timing of it all too.  The Divine, I am learning, truly knows best even if we haven’t the faintest clue of the whys. It is the work of feeling our inner world, going into the depths of our story consciously to see why we wrote it the way we did and if that is the way we want to continue writing it. We see things when we need to see them and when something else in the plot has shifted first. Not a minute before or a minute after. It is all perfect and all we are doing is giving it a little boost along the way by choosing to participate in this actively and with the awareness that we are in a mystery.

I write this as I have found my heart in a state of joy after really letting in the woman that has been in my life for the last 5 years, Kalayna Colibri.  We began as facilitants in SoulFullHeart, then had a few incarnations as mates, had months of non-contact, and then reemerged as close friends but always with that deep care that seemed to follow us where ever we were.  We could not go back into another romance for our inner stories had not been ready for it.  Other plot pieces needed to weave in and out, and we needed our own time to actively engage in healing the chapters of the “past”.  As we began to feel more of our own uniqueness and our own self-love could we begin to see each other in a new way than before.  We could feel how the love that was always there just needed to be put in a special place so other story lines could take their place.

I suppose the lesson in this for me is that you never really “know” what the Divine has in store for you or what blind spots you are given until it is time to be seen. What is true is that those blind spots are only removed as we continue to go into our own inner stories. As we begin to heal all the ways in which we continue to keep love at bay. It is through rereading our 3D story with all its cast of characters that allows us to really see what it is that we are truly needing to heal in order to let in more of the love that is sitting right in front of us. And for that I am infinitely grateful and amazed to be a part of this new chapter in our lives together.

More writing to come from a brand new sacred romance taking flight.  🙂

If you are curious to reveal your own mysterious love story we offer free 30 minute intro sessions to see if the SoulFullHeart Way of Life healing process is part of that unfolding. More information can be found here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions
This Sunday at 11:11am CST, Raphael Awen and I will be discussing more about the overall process and what space-holding sessions are all about and how they guide and inform your awakening and healing path. More info here:

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Going Inward With New Layers Of Vulnerability And Humility

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

sun-622740_960_720

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ayh4oQtYGU

We are being invited to feel our anchors and what has held us and conditioned us within this dimension we call ‘3D’, ongoingly. It seems that every shift in the weather, every start of a new season, every cosmic occurrence, is all bringing us back inward, or at least opening up the doorway to do so. There is nothing we have done ‘wrong’ to bring these energies in. They are not punishments from a punitive god or goddess that wants to purge the world of the filth that parts of us feel we are or must be. They are reflections back to us of us… of how we’ve treated ourselves, let alone each other. Of what we’ve been willing to claim and what we’ve been willing to leave behind… as well as what we’ve been clinging to that needs to be let go of. Our conditioning tells us that if we are feeling bad as a result of something that is happening outside of us, then we must have done something wrong. I feel to share today, that this is not what’s true… and that even this reaction to your reactions and to the churning of your 3D life and being, are what is being reflected back to you now.

We are asked very often if not regularly right now, to really look at and feel our conditioning, where it has come from and how we relate to it. We have so much of a legacy from those who came before us ingrained within us, that we have necessarily forgotten that we are here to do and be something different… yet this journey must begin within and it must reach into our subconscious to unearth what has been long-buried.

Among these layers that we are being asked to feel, are the layers of protection. It’s actually an expression of self-protection to believe that all things are happening outside of you, to you. This protects you from really feeling yourself and your parts. This keeps you from landing in you, as it keeps your gaze from going inward where the real change and transformation can take place. It is a new place of vulnerability and humility, to realize what we’ve had going on inside of us all along. It heals and dissolves our walls within so that we can eventually have no walls against the world and the people in it too.

Today, if you choose to, you can begin to feel what it is that makes you feel as if you don’t want to go inward. Even feeling this much can bring you to a powerful place of newfound humility and a reconnection to an experience of love and the Divine that you had forgotten about… ❤

___

My beloveds in SoulFullHeart and I, offer space-holding sessions for your inner explorations and healing. If you’d like to, you can try a free 30min intro to the process. Just visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more information. ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Spirituality And The 3D Self

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

seed

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2U2wKwpPMOQ

 

The 3D self says,

“I don’t always believe in ‘god’… unless of course, it’s a literal god, one who has very black and white ways of punishing or rewarding us as humans and has given us very clear rules through people we don’t question. Sometimes I feel punished or rewarded for goodness or badness. Sometimes I don’t feel much of anything and just want to be left alone… because ultimately, I do feel alone. I don’t get a visceral sense of ‘god’ or ‘god-ness’ and I usually feel drawn to compartmentalizing god too… leaving ‘him’ to when I attend church on Sundays or at Christmas, for example. Sometimes I like retreats because they don’t challenge me to live with the spirituality every day and the 4D self can at least be sort of satiated for a while by them, or at least it can seem so. Letting in the Divine scares me because I don’t quite know or understand what that means, and I really feel mostly like it would mean losing everything I’ve built or bought or earned – relationships, career, things, etc. I don’t feel or find anything ‘spiritual’ or purposeful in the every day, and most of the time this suits me just fine… if god doesn’t bother me, I won’t bother ‘him’. Life seems like an uncontrollable thing at times, and yet totally controllable in others… or at least, I’ve convinced myself I have control when I really don’t. And if I truly let that in, I would crumble – or at least I’m afraid I would.

I live in systems made of my fears and the fears of others, that are led and maintained by the most afraid members of society. God is unknowable and unseeable, but money is and relationships are, and family is too. I can see and touch and smell material things and food that I want. I can’t see or touch who made them or harvested them or at least not often, and I don’t want to look that far into anything. I want what I want in this moment and beyond that, I don’t care. To truly be in touch with ‘god’ would mean having to see more than I do now. I don’t think I want that.

You’re born, you live, you die. I don’t think much about what happens after that. All I care about is where my next fun is coming from, in the form of food, sex, or something material that shows me I’m worth something. How does ‘god’ have a chance to enter that, and why would I want ‘him’ to?”

Sometimes, as we walk into and through different chapters of 4D awakening, where spirituality then becomes a subject fraught with questions and soul rebirth canals, we inhabit a 3D reality which is essentially ‘god-less’, at least in the sense of having a daily, visceral experience of god or the Divine in different forms and energies. You may feel yourself weaving in and out of a more 3D reality of the ‘god picture’ along the way, sometimes feeling as if life is wonder-less, and that you don’t have much sense of the Divine in your life right now. This can feel really dense and as if there is a ceiling over you and sometimes you may even have physical reactions to this reality, like intense head pain, along with some emotional reactions from parts of you to different situations in your life where things don’t seem to be going the way you or part of you wants them to. As we awaken, we begin to separate out from this ‘self’ that would rather not hold a personal sort of ‘god’ experience and also the different parts that hold this as their only possible reality. The 3D self doesn’t seem to vanish, however, though it does heal more and more and gradually integrates into our daily reality and our being in a different way. Our 3D self represents ‘this-life’ wounds and pain, though it may not always feel that consciously or if it does, it may seek therapy or some form of self-help that won’t ultimately reach the deepest aspects of what needs to heal. It needs us, inside of our 4D or 5D selves, to help bridge it to something deeper and actually be with it there too, not trying to suppress or abandon it, which we can’t really do anyways.

The 3D self can sometimes make itself hard to love. It has a way in which it has built formidable walls and can feel unreachable in the sense of feeling it deeply beyond a surface-level sense of success, failure, loss, gain, happiness at getting what it wants, sadness when it doesn’t. It very seldom holds a deep compassion towards itself or others. This may not be true of all 3D selves, but for most of them, this feels like what needs to be felt, held and reconciled within each.

Ascension, in my sense of it, means inviting the 3D self to come along, loving it the whole way. This love can’t be false because this ‘self’ won’t buy it if it is, or might pretend to for a time but in the end, it won’t be deeply moved by anything you offer it. It is so often an energy of protective disbelief. Loving it begins with feeling one part of you at a time, and feeling your way into the love that wants to flow into and through you and wrap around it too. From this place, comes our deepest, purest sense of spirituality, which has always been there somehow, though the days and moments come when we feel it has left us or isn’t accessible. These phases are as much a part of our journey as the highest heights are, and every bit as sacred.

To learn more about working with and healing your 3D self, you can visit our website, http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for a sense of how we hold the process and what the SoulFullHeart process is in and of itself. ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

The Ways Our 3D/4D/5D ‘Selves’ Experience The World

Published on by Kasha Rosa3 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

multidimensional

“I want to focus on how I look to others and try and control what they think of me. I want success and I want peace. The world is mostly black and white to me… ugly or beautiful, full or empty, alive or dead. What I want more than anything else is to be satisfied with life just as it is. And if I’m never quite ‘satisfied’, well, that’s okay. No one else seems to be living the life they really want to anyway! Why ‘take the road less travelled’ when this road is so paved and comfortable?” Says the 3D self that doesn’t think much about dreaming of more for itself, though the longing may be there for a different way to see itself and to experience life in a more expansive way. Yet, it finds contentment sometimes in simple content that doesn’t necessarily satisfy but does keep basic needs met at least. It is a simpler approach to life and one that less and less people are able to inhabit anymore these days.

“I want to fix and focus on the world outside of me… everything is falling apart or needs to fall apart. I can see the possibilities for the future and it all pretty much looks and feels like Hell. The world is anything but simple and it seems to be getting more complicated every day, with the lies that are told and the awful stances that most are taking! Wake up, world!!!” Says the 4D self, awakening more and more into an awareness of the turmoil, angst and outrageous circumstances in this world of ours. Feeling that everything happening on the outside is what needs addressing and that doing and battling is how to ‘win’. It is hard to feel satisfied by life in any way… or that there is much hope left for this world of ours.

“I want to keep going in, to find the parts that still need integrating. An act that changes the world within and can’t help but change the world with-out too! I have so much energy for it all… from where I am, the world does need help, and it IS moving toward something much better, much bigger, all on its own and also in tandem with all of those who are willing to go within. To me, there is not only hope available, but love has already won.” Says the ever-present (somewhere) 5D self that acts as more than a cheerleader for our growth and expansion, but also as a beacon, a reminder that life really can be good, that we really can heal, and that in the end, there is a much brighter way for us all to shine.

Multi-dimensional you, reading this… I’m willing to bet that you resonate with all three of these points of view, that each ‘self’ of your own is standing up, saying, ‘I totally get this!’. Every stage of awakening is sacred, and yes, you do likely move between these 3 ‘selves’ quite often, depending on triggers or what’s happening in your inner and outer worlds. The ways in which you see and feel the world is expanding, contracting, moving… sometimes from simple pleasures to hope, to despair, to grief, and then maybe back to joy and bliss again. There is so much to trust and feel in each moment of this. It is all finding its way… YOU are finding your way!

Some days it can feel like there is something intense going on within… different ‘selves’ trying to edge each other out to take centre stage and to get your attention, let alone the attention of those around you. Much is being shaken up within. Much is wanting air, breathing, movement. You’re on your way, even with each intense wave of feeling, doubting, hoping, loving.

There’s a way that the world outside of you wants to press on you to feel each of these ‘selves’ and the parts of you that they’re made of. The 5D self is more like a ‘no-self’ in a way, actually, with no parts, yet it is eager to create a greater, more loving container for the other parts of you. Sometimes it can feel like such a stretch to reach for these energies of expansive holding and high-vibe breathing that somehow gets to this place of loving and Divine frequencies without transcending or losing touch with the parts that need to be felt. To be able to live more in 5D is the dream for the near future and the invitation in the NOW too!

There is so much going on within you… and it is all somehow feeling its way, learning its way., finding its way to a greater centre inside of you that feels, trusts, knows that love has already won and so have YOU… ❤

https://youtu.be/HQIHoVzEbEM

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.