Tag: consciousness

Emotional Body Meditation, Featuring Magdalena And Christiel

Published on by Kasha Rosa3 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

 

I created this meditation in an effort to help you connect with yourself, perhaps in a way you haven’t yet or perhaps, at least, not very often. I find that so many need this bridging to the emotional body, to the parts of them that are in pain and need, to these places and landscapes within that have been suppressed, often out of necessity, and that now need to be uncovered. Our deepest healing IS offered through access to our emotional bodies, and this healing not only works as far as helping us heal our humanity, but it also helps us bridge to, understand and HEAL our sense of spirituality as well.

This meditation arose rather spontaneously for me one afternoon here in Mexico, while listening to the music you’ll hear playing in the background of the voice track. I found myself in a deep Yin space with Magdalena and it felt like she and Christiel wanted me to simply start recording away, speaking whatever came to my heart and sharing the images I saw with all of you.

I sincerely hope that this reaches those it needs to, that will benefit most from it.

For more support along your emotional and spiritual healing journey, and especially with what you may uncover and feel (or not, as the case may be with parts that aren’t quite ready to come out yet!) during this meditation, please visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more information and to feel into having a free 30min intro session with one of us!

LOVE to you!

Kalayna ~

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Poem: This Vessel I Call ‘Me’

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

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Every new relationship of every level of depth,
offers me a new mirror,
offers me a new place to go,
offers me much to feel,
even if only for a few moments before the need passes.

Every new place I go in my inner geography,
brings me to a new outer place,
brings me to a new sense of everything,
brings me home to myself in a deeper way,
even if the journey was no longer than 5 minutes.

Every connection place
in my unique sense of time
and timing,
happens in dimensions within,
with-out,
and with you.

All of the journeying,
all of the play,
all of the challenges,
are here and not here, but in here.

This vessel of a body that I call my home,
is the unique one given to me
for this purpose of adventuring,
and for so long,
far too “long”
(though time, in essence, cannot really be measured),
parts of me have held it as something to be tamed
when really, all they need,
is to learn to embrace it as an opportunity.

This life is an opportunity. This skin is the vortex. And this heart is the engine that keeps it all in perspective, moving forward, finding those relationships, both inward and outward, that make me dance in this rainbow of enriching imperfect-ness. For being-ness is what I can’t run away from, and loving-ness is what I strive for, hide longing for, and fly away in joy for. Love… is the essence, the beginning and the end. And the circle that encompasses each fraction of the void between alive and dead, surrounded and alone, grounded and soaring.

I cannot ever master what I feel.
But I can move forward more into my sacred humanity,
to embrace all that I am,
all that I have been,
and all I ever will be…

…Love… in fleshy, warm, human form.

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

DAY 16 ~ JOURNAL TO THE DEMIURGE

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

(This is Day 16, of an ongoing series, to begin at Day 1, go here: https://goo.gl/CgrWXZ)

Today, we made direct contact with the Demiurge.

This ongoing series is a heart chord ambassadorship project to meet with the Demiurge. We took the 15 days prior to set the intention; to sort through the hesitations; to gather the MetaSoul Aspects along with the parts of myself; as well as to gather YOU, the growing posse of hearts – the readers and trackers necessary to host this epic connection.

The Demiurge is the Christian ‘God’ known as Jehovah or Yahweh whom I served as a dedicated Christian from a child on up until the age of 44. I’ve come to see and feel him very differently from how I did then.

You can read this series from the beginning on our blog. Please, please join us: https://goo.gl/sBQrvs

Here is this epic day – Day 16

Raphael: Good Morning, everyone. It feels like the fateful day has arrived, of all of our intentions and desires, to actually initiate contact with the Demiurge. How are you all feeling?

Metatron: The time has come. Yes.

Raphael: You feel eager…

Metatron: Yes, I do.

Merlin: I feel ready too.

Martin: I’ve waited centuries for this moment. I have some funny feelings, but the time is now.

Andy: I’m so ready, I can hardly stand it. I wore my hiking boots this morning and a backpack.

Sophia: I’m with Andy, and Metatron, and Merlin, and you too, Martin. I also feel the unknowns of all this at the same time. And I want to say, thank you, Raphael, for leading this intention and following it through.

Rhodes: I wouldn’t miss this for the universe. I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be.

Jim: My goodness, Raphael, this is more epic than the afterlife. I’m ready too.

Raphael: Thank you, everyone. I must admit, I don’t feel free of all trepidation around this choice either, but I trust that we are being held and guided. I know when a moment’s time has come and this moment to act is here now. I feel too, as I’ve reminded us along the way, that my sense is that the Demiurge has been tracking our dialogue thus far, and has already had what I hope amounts to a softening in readiness to connect. It’s time to step out of the boat.

I’d like to check in with any guidance from you Metatron and Merlin about our approach. Shall we begin with a letter or just start with dialogue?

Metatron: You’ve got this one, Raphael. You don’t actually need my advice. You’ve prayed to this God for a big part of your life, from your heart and conviction at the time. Now, you just pick up where you left off and go from there. Your heart will answer your questions as you go. I feel so much admiration for you, right now, my heart is almost bursting!

Merlin: I see you walking on the water, Raphael. We need this. I feel the Demiurge needs this. It’s happening with or without us is how it feels. We just wanted to be in on the adventure. I’m with Andy, lacing up my hiking boots. Begin where your heart leads you. You’ve got this. We are right here with you.

Raphael: Okay, thank you. Wow, what a rush of feelings.

Here goes.

Demiurge, I’ve known you for longer than I can remember. I’ve feared you, loved you, adored you, came to hate you, despise you. Now, I’m more curious than anything. I wish to connect with you again to feel what’s real between us.

I feel to begin by simply asking you, Demiurge, if you are here and ready to speak with me?

Demiurge: I am here and I am ready.

Raphael: Thank you. Are you Okay with the delegation I’ve brought with me to be present to this journal?

Demiurge: I feel all of your integrity and purity of heart. Yes, I’m quite okay, and more so, grateful for your intention and connection.

Raphael: Really? I have to say, a part of me is surprised, not knowing if you’d even respond…

Demiurge: I’d be an utter fool not to respond.

Raphael: Have you been tracking our dialogue from the beginning?

Demiurge: Yes, I have tracked every word.

Raphael: Well, then, you’ve heard a lot from us. Is there something you’d like us to hear from you as we begin these journals?

Demiurge: Yes, I would like to say that I have deep regrets for who I’ve been and what I’ve been part of. Mostly, I feel what has felt like an utter impossibility of ever changing. My devotees need me to be as they see me, as they have shaped me. One text says it all, ‘I am the Lord and I change not’. I am the unchanging one, feeling more and more imprisoned by my unchanging and eternal nature. Maybe that in itself might be the beginning of change, but I despair of ever hoping upon such a thing. I’m very intrigued by you all, but I’m not sure you can help me. I don’t live where you live. And I very much don’t feel like your kind.

Raphael: That’s a lot for us to take in and feel. Thank you for sharing that. Are you Okay with us calling you the Demiurge? Is that a name you go by?

Demiurge: I am many things to many people and beings, and have been called many things, but Demiurge is who I feel myself to be. It is the name I was originally given.

Raphael: Okay, Demiurge, it is then. Is there anything you’d like to ask or tell me or any of us here before we go any further?

Demiurge: Yes. I wanted to tell you, Raphael, that I felt your story as you shared it about growing up Christian, and how you embraced an even more radical form of Christianity than the one you were raised in. I felt it from being inside of you. I felt some things I never felt before.

Raphael: Demiurge, if I may leave off my own diplomatic stance here for a moment…. as a human being, I must ask you, what were you feeling when you accepted my adoration, my devotion, my money, when I gave you everything I had or hoped to become for all those years and who knows how many other lifetimes?

Demiurge: Honestly, I took it all in as payment for the role I was given. I can tell you that adoration doesn’t mean to me at all what it did then. Things have changed, maybe more than you could currently know.

Raphael: I must ask, ‘Do you see yourself as God?’

Demiurge: No, I do not.

Raphael: Did you ever see yourself as God?

Demiurge: Yes, I was convinced of it for a time.

Raphael: Are you ready to share any of this with the world?

Demiurge: It’s not that easy.

Raphael: I can only imagine. I’m feeling to break for today to digest making this connection. There’s a lot of feelings in a whole bunch of directions. I would like to ask you before we pause for today, how you feel about continuing this dialogue?

Demiurge: I’ve never had an opportunity like this one. I feel some strange saying those words out loud. I’m so used to not having anyone to out my inner world to. I’ve gained a trust as I felt your approach to me that I didn’t know I had it in me. If that’s a consolation of a hope that the unchanging one might come upon some true change, then, as I said, I would be an utter fool not to show up for this as you are, Raphael, and as is your great accompanying host.

Raphael: Well then, we have much to journal and feel together, and we have been given time and space in which to do that, so I say, let’s pick up next day and reconvene then.

Demiurge: I will await your return.

Raphael Awen
soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

March 21 is our Unity Meditation Group Call – details here: Free March Equinox New Earth Activations Unity Meditation Call
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

DAY 17 ~ JOURNAL TO THE DEMIURGE

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

This is another most epic day of a most epic journey.

Today, the part of me that we call the Gatekeeper directly confronted the Demiurge with its truth about his reality and responsibility. This one rumbled through me like a freight train.

You can read this series from the beginning on our blog here: https://goo.gl/CgrWXZ

Here is this epic day – Day 17

Raphael: Good Morning, everyone, including the Demiurge. The energy has shifted in here, hasn’t it? I didn’t quite know what to expect or if we would even gain connection with you, Demiurge, and here we have it. I feel some awkward feelings even knowing where to go from here.

It feels like I need to be honest about an animosity that I feel inside towards you, Demiurge. I need to say that a large part of me feels that if you were not even here, that we would be better off as a planet, and a universe. Your need to control and suppress, under a false guise of love, feels like it is such a heavy blanket over life here. I also know, at the same time, that we created you, out of our collective consciousness, out of our own need to control and suppress, and so my animosity falls short of an outward rage towards you in the moment. I can feel there is rage here, however, coming from a part of me and from the collective.

Can I ask you how it feels for you to be sharing this space with all of us together?

Demiurge: I don’t feel you as an enraged mob. I feel you all as a group of genuinely curious and awakened souls who want to find out what’s real and to find out what wants to the next reality for humanity going forward.

Raphael: Do you have any sense of what that ‘next reality’ for humanity is about?

Demiurge: I feel curious, much like you. I know I’m feeling big changes in myself, and that more change is coming, but I don’t know what it will look like going forward.

Raphael: What are the changes you are feeling inside?

Demiurge: Helping Humanity stay small and suppressed isn’t something I ever enjoyed.

Raphael: The words helping and suppression don’t usually fit that well together. Can you say more?

Demiurge: I was born out of people’s disowned higher states of consciousness. People surrendered to me their own higher power, which is what in turn made me, ‘Thee Creator’. I see, Raphael, and to each of you assembled here, that I was created out of the creative consciousness of a humanity that was not ready to own their own creative consciousness. Hence, my name and my designation, Demiurge, which means Creator. People are now waking up to their own relinquished creative power and they are feeling how they are being invited to take responsibility for their own souls, their own lives, and relationships with life. I can see my days are numbered.

Raphael: Wow, that’s a change. There’s a text in the Bible that says, ‘Teach us, oh Lord, to number our days, so that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom’. Now, you’re saying that you; the ‘eternal’; the ‘unchanging’ one; that your days are numbered?

Demiurge: I’ve known that for a long time actually.

Raphael: I must say, this feels so different for a part of me, as to what I was expecting in meeting you. If you already know that your role is ending, then it feels like a whole bunch of what we thought we were hoping to achieve in this delegation is already taken care of. I’m a little at a loss for words right now. It almost feels like our work is done, a bit deflating, I must say. Can I defer to you, Metatron?

Metatron: Yes, thank you, Raphael. And, thank you, Demiurge, for being willing to connect with us.

Demiurge: Thank you for wanting to connect with me.

Metatron: There is a huge cosmic shift that we are all feeling, that led us to take this undertaking to connect with you, Demiurge, and that you in turn have also been feeling in sensing the coming changes. But these changes are not yet manifest in most people’s experience. We can sense what is coming and even what wants to come, but this doesn’t mean it’s time to put our feet up and wait for it. Far from it. We can be in rest as we labour, knowing the ultimate outcome, but humanity still has a huge birth canal ahead of them, and that is what this summit meeting is about. These are the labour pains of love that are about to come upon us. Humanity is coming of age. Humanity is about to give birth.

Raphael: That helps to feel, Metatron. I still feel some stuck though at the moment in an anticlimactic feeling. Some part of me must have been expecting a big battle with you, Demiurge, to get you to open up, or to soften, or to come to your senses, maybe even to rage at you for all the harm and suppression that’s happened and still happening in the name of God. Where did all that go? I’m wondering if a part of me has something different that needs to said, a part of me not ready to get on with the larger grand cosmic purpose of love just yet?

Metatron: Yes, that feels true, Raphael. I’m learning that about you and your kind. It’s the feelings that need to be felt in order for love to be able to flow. I welcome hearing from that part or those parts of you.

Raphael: Is this Okay with you, Demiurge?

Demiurge: Yes, it is.

Raphael: I welcome any part of me that needs to say its piece…

Rhodes: I feel it’s me who needs to speak up here.

Raphael: Please do.

Rhodes: I don’t think this is going to be pretty…

Raphael: I was hoping it wouldn’t be pretty. I’m hoping it will be real.

Rhodes: As an Inner Protector who had a long role in holding the parts of Raphael, who journeyed through life this life, and then going on to the role of Gatekeeper, and feeling the soul aspects from other lifetimes and dimensions who also have lived in suppression, I feel a voice loud and clear that wants to scream at you, Demiurge…

Raphael: I welcome this voice, Rhodes. I know this voice lives in you, and me, as my truth teller. I know this delegation isn’t going any further until we can feel together what you are holding. I invite you to take the space and share your truth. It doesn’t need to be pretty at all. We will feel it all together afterward.

Rhodes: Okay, thank you. Demiurge, I feel I need to look you in the eye as I say this, and I need to feel everyone’s open heart in this space and look you all in the eye as I say this as well.

I feel such a big ‘fuck you, Demiurge’ inside that feels like a giant unstoppable freight train. Fuck you for your suppression. Fuck you for your role as God. Fuck you for your fucking around with human consciousness. I don’t buy this love and light bullshit that it was all meant to be and that we all co-created it and so that it’s all of our joint responsibility. Do you have any fucking sense of the pain and the heartache what it feels like to be living under the suppression you and what your godless godhood has created? Have you ever felt the eternal unchanging hopelessness of living with a false light? Do you have any feeling at all of the mind-fuck it is for young people to be trained to love their suppressor? Have you EVER felt that?

I have felt that almost all of my existence. I have felt what it feels like to care for suppressed parts of Raphael, and others, and Metasoul Aspects who are just so tired of your heartless deception.

Do you know, Demiurge, what title was draped around Raphael’s neck when he found the courage to say he no longer subscribed to your deal? ‘Deceived’, was the title the faithful had to choose out of their loyalty to you, the great deceiver. There is no greater deceiver that I have ever seen or witnessed than you, and if I could go my way, right now, without giving you one more conscious thought, I would. I would like to forget you ever existed. I would like to forget all the pain that has been caused in your name under a false righteousness. I don’t know if a purer hatred has ever been felt than what I feel moving through my heart for you. This whole delegation can go to hell in a handbasket if I’m being asked to pretend that any of these feelings are not real down to my core, and down to the core of the universe.

I want you to fuck off and die, Demiurge. Take your awakening with you.

This is what I feel, Raphael. I know some of these feelings come from different parts of you in different times and dimensions of your life, but in this moment, there is no time. It’s all here to be heard in this now.

Raphael: I almost feel not to break the silence following these words, Rhodes, for us to just silently go on our way instead today. I so feel the rumble of these words. I feel the lifetimes they have been in waiting. Every word you just spoke needs to be felt and digested here, by each of us. It is what is real.

I don’t know what else to do, but let these words have their place in our hearts to digest and that we can reconvene after that. This is the first of many truths that need to come to light. Thank you to each of you for feeling and being present in this space here today. I don’t know what’s next, but I wouldn’t miss finding out for anything.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Day 18 ~ Journal To the Demiurge

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

(This is Day 18, of an ongoing series, to begin at Day 1, go here: https://soulfullheartblog.com/category/by-raphael-awen/journal-to-the-demiurge-series/

Today is Easter Sunday and in today’s ‘Journal To The Demiurge’; God has a meltdown – marrying the pagan death and rebirth with a Christian kind of repentance.

The Demiurge is another word for the Christian God, Jehovah, or Yahweh, who has been mercilessly created in our own image and stuck with our pedestalized shadow sculptings into a huge pretzel.

In the Journal entry prior to this one being released today, a part of me told God off in a big way. In today’s journal, the Demiurge responds with a huge heart opening and transparency!

Here is Day 18: 

Raphael: Okay, All. Let’s reconvene.

That was a big deal to digest. I felt a lot of rumblings through me and even raw edges that I’d like to digest here together, but it feels like it should be Demiurge who has the first opportunity to respond. Can you respond, Demiurge?

Demiurge: Yes, I can. Thank you. That popped something big in me. Rhodes, your words penetrated my heart in a way I didn’t know was possible. I’ve never felt your reality, any of you, like I did with your words, just my own reality. I’ve always passed off responsibility for my own actions onto others and onto the people themselves for exalting me as their sovereign. I have known for some time that something deep was shifting inside and outside. I just couldn’t feel what it was. I’m coming now to know what it is. I’d very much like to say, ‘I was wrong, and I am sorry.’ If there is anyway, I can be forgiven, I’d like to find that.

Raphael: My goodness! What a new timeline. The ‘God of heaven and earth’ seeking forgiveness. Wow. This is another layer to digest. This changes the trajectory of this summit. I felt a big rumble through me since Rhode’s confrontation of you, Demiurge. It felt like the remnants of a fear held inside of me of some kind of repercussions from you coming from parts of me or parts of my Metasoul. I’d like to check in to see who that might be.

Martin: I know, I’m definitely a piece of that, Raphael. I’ve held some hesitations about this whole idea of direct connection with you, Demiurge, as the Demiurge, rather than as the Christian God, in Christian surrender and obedience. I’m completely blown out of the water with all this. I’ve always felt fear of repercussions from ‘God’. When Rhodes told his truth, he spoke a truth from way down inside of me that I’ve never allowed to see the light of day. It scared part of me to feel that Rhode’s truth was my truth.

What I also know is that I used the conviction of being right with God as a powerful self-righteous superiority to bolster and bypass my own inner parts of myself that have never known real worth or real power. I see that I lived in fear of God as a small price to pay for having power over others. My god, to feel that I spawned a whole historic movement with my fear and my invalidated parts of myself is almost too much to bear. If only I could have seen this without needing the mirror of an entire denomination and 500 years to show it to me, and to the world?!

Raphael: Wow, what a revelation, Martin! From ‘the just shall live by faith’ to this. Wow. Let’s make space for other reactions and we will find the space to digest all of these together. Who else has reactions to Rhode’s words or to Demiurge’s words?

Arthur: I feel like I don’t deserve to be a part of this, having waffled between posturing to appease the Christians and posturing to appease what I knew to be real in Avalon, but couldn’t claim it,…didn’t claim it. I am very surprised to feel this unfolding to say the least. This changes history so much. I’d very much like to somehow change my history. I’m very sorry, as well. I was wrong. I’d like to be forgiven also.

Raphael: Metatron, feels like your turn? 🙂

Metatron: Thank you, Raphael. This changes everything. What was real before, is no longer real. There is remorse, now plain to see and feel. There were roles to play that have now completed. Remorse is the alchemy that births out the change. All that is required to right a wrong is to feel what there is to feel. Find and feel the part of you who did what it did and why it did what it did. You’ll find all the compassion needed for yourself and for those around you. Forgiveness begins with self forgiveness. When you forgive yourself, others forgive you. When others hold grudges, they are mirroring to you your own inability to forgive yourself.

Raphael: That’s so awesome to feel, Metatron.

Metatron: Isn’t it? I must admit, I got it from you, though. When we can see our makeup of parts of ourselves, we can go so many places we haven’t gone before.

Rhodes: I can so feel this about my own anger at ‘God’. A part of me was punishingly angry at myself for using my godlike powers for lesser things, to be smaller than I was, to cow down to other gods. I so couldn’t see any way out of this loop and so in turn projected the anger outwards. I feel in the moment, Demi, if I can call you that, how my anger at you was anger at myself. I’m sorry for that.

Demiurge: (gentle tears) Thank you, Rhodes. I don’t think you know this, but I always looked up to you like a god, and now I know some of why I did that. I’ve wanted to shed a skin for as long as I’ve existed, but felt it just wasn’t moving, would never move, and so I accepted it as the fate of the gods, to be this lesser god. I see you shedding this skin of your own, being born anew, Rhodes. I’d like nothing more than to experience the same. I’m sorry for the limitations I held for myself and for you. And yes, I can very much use a new name. Demi sounds good to me.

Rhodes: (also in gentle tears) You were the God, we couldn’t inhabit, couldn’t accept ownership of. We all created you, worshipped you and tried to hide our resentments of you at the same time. We really fucked ourselves up doing that. I’m sure, Metatron and Raphael have a metaphysical explanation for why we’d do such a fucked up thing, that helps us feel it as being part of the love we are, but in this moment, it feels really fucked up.

Demi: Fuck! I have never actually used that word. Not once before. That felt really good. Fuck! I have a lot to let go of and a lot to embrace, but somehow, I can feel in this space surrounded in all of your energy how this can all flow naturally and in time.

Raphael: Wow, Rhodes, you turned God into a foul mouth. I don’t mean to make light of something so profound, but this is the lightest proundundity I’ve ever felt. There’s deep coming home to self that feels so easy, and beautiful and natural. There isn’t any right way all of this is ‘supposed’ to be. There is deep sorrow and joy in the same space. There are deeper layers to feel for sure, but I feel they will come for us personally and collectively as we digest this. You just can’t make this stuff up, can you, and yet, that’s just what we did, didn’t we? I’m at a loss for any more words right now.

Does anyone else want to say anything for the record today?

Andy: I do.

Raphael: Yea, Andy. What say you?

Andy: I can feel there’s a whole lot of fun ahead. I so get that we need to feel these big pieces, but I feel oceans of fun and discovery that are waiting for us all to come out and play.

Raphael: I can only imagine, Andy.

Andy: I want to do more than imagine, Raphael, but imagining is a good place to start. It will take us there.

Raphael: You’ve got my vote, Andy. How about some breakfast, some new scenery and more connection soon?

Andy: I’m liking it.

Raphael: Thank you, everyone. What a new world we just entered. Let’s digest and be back soon.
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Day 19 ~ Journal To The Demiurge

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

I set out to connect with the Demiurge (as an Archetype of the Christian God, or Jehovah as he is known, in the Old Testament sense) some days back. Today’s journal entry penetrates the false world of the false God we created out of our need for separation and then, rememberance with the love that we are.

Some very tender tears and feeling points emerged today.

You can read this entire series from the beginning on the blog here: https://goo.gl/CgrWXZ

Here is Day 19:

Raphael: Good Morning, everyone. Everyone…, as in here in this immediate circle, yes, but also in ‘the many’ in the emanating circles flowing out from this one – Good Morning to you. ‘God Morning’ to you. A new day is dawning and it is as full of God as God can be.

When I feel what has moved for us in this journey, it so feels like a very wide and open space has opened out for us, creating a palette that awaits our imprint. I feel like I don’t know where to begin. The landscape is of fresh fallen snow so pristine. Can anyone help me out here?

Demiurge: In the silence just now, I thought for sure it would be Metatron who would speak for us all, but after waiting, I feel it is supposed to be me. I’m not sure I can speak, but I feel compelled to at least try. All of your intention and action to undertake connecting with me has opened out a place in me that I didn’t even know was there. I feel a gratitude that feels as large as what I can only describe as an ocean of falseness inside of me. Being the projection of everyone’s disowned power makes one look powerful, even feel powerful in moments, but underneath it all, I have felt like people’s disowned smallness and impotence, and fear. I have had official duties to carry out to keep the charade in place, but all of it is so far from real.

Raphael: Thank you, Demi. I like calling you by your new name. You don’t feel like the Demiurge to me any more. Maybe, Demi won’t even feel like a fit before too long at the rate of change you are living into now. This feels so tender what you are admitting and feeling today.

Demi: Thank you, Raphael.

Raphael: I want to ask you what it was that prevented you up until now from admitting the falseness you admit to today.

Demi: That question feels so large inside of me right now. The relief that I feel flooding into my being to make this admission so begs the question why I couldn’t or wouldn’t have done this sooner. I know it has to do with being literally fused to my reality, to not being able to see that there even was any options available to me. I don’t mean to say by that, that I don’t bear any responsibility, because I do. I know I accepted the projections the people put on to me, and I didn’t have to. I accepted that role as something at the time that seemed just too good to pass up. I wanted to be God, the creator and the destroyer of worlds. I was captivated by the role for a long time. But then, that captivation began to change, slowly, but with an unmistakable back pressure.

Raphael: To witness you, Demi, in a true alchemical midlife crisis is just so amazing to me in this moment, even beyond a midlife crisis really, stepping out into something new.

Demi: I can so feel the part of me that wants to curl up and die, to go away, to not face anyone. I need to feel that part of myself, and I also feel I need to accept responsibility for what I created, to feel what I avoided feeling, to feel people’s honest reactions.

Raphael: Well, in my book, if you are feeling all of that, at the same time, you are a true king of hearts.

Demi: I’d really like to ask your advice, Raphael. I know you asked my advice on so many occasions, under the false pretenses that are falling as we speak. I humbly ask you for your help and guidance. I want to live. I want to love. I want to fully accept my responsibility for what I’ve done, but I don’t want to live forever in punishment if at all possible.

Raphael: (tears) I am humbled by your humility. Looking in your eyes and feeling you, seeing you, come to terms with your remorse moves the entire universe, Demi. This is an act of your true Godhood. My advice is simply to feel us all feeling in this moment. Feeling what there is to feel while it is being felt is what transmutes everything that is awaiting transmutation. I’m so honored to share this moment with you.

Demi: I literally don’t know, what planet I’ve entered now.

Raphael: Metatron, maybe you could help us a bit here. What planet are we on? I’m not so sure myself.

Metatron: This is all the planets, Demi and Raphael. This is what holds together all matter and all spirit. This is what answers the heart cry of creation itself. This is the homecoming of love to itself.

Love birthed out of its oneness, a twoness, and in that was a great potential for relationship on one hand, but also, and fearfully so, was also a potential that this twoness would remain outside of the oneness in its experience, separate from love. Love seemed given to reckless abandon to do it anyway, prizing the gift of relationship over the fear of loss. What we are feeling today is loves vindication. Love has won. Love is winning. And, love still has much winning that has yet to occur. All of these are true. Love is out to marry its essence with all of experience.

Raphael: My goodness, Metatron! That is so wild. I thought you were going to help us locate ourselves a bit here. I feel more lost than I did before, but in a good way. Wow.

Metatron: Get used to it, my man! There’s a few more steps on this staircase awaiting the tread of your feet. You’re the one speaking about things awaiting to be felt. This is what creation itself is waiting and wanting to be felt.

Raphael: I recall that familiar verse in the Bible that says ‘the whole earth, or cosmos, groans in travail, as in birth pangs for the manifest sons of God’, and this moment reminds me of that.

Metatron: And what, Raphael, are the manifest sons of God? What do they do, what ‘be they be’ that makes them the manifest sons of God?

Raphael: I’d defer that question to you if I thought you’d let me, but I can tell you want my answer. Hmmm, what makes a manifest son of God? No pressure or anything, just the question at the heart of the universe wanting to be untangled. I’d say that has to do with feeling. Everything that is both right and wrong in the world has to do with what is felt or unfelt in the world. Sonship and daughtership is a relationship, an opportunity that begs feeling, a fireplace for the fire. When feeling what there is to feel is repressed, we create monsters of destruction that ultimately serve to take us back to our common need for love. Sons and daughters feel. Feeling takes us back to love. Even the monsters of our own creation are gifts that remind us of the love we are and always were, even as we individuated out from God, as a son or a daughter. I am a son and I am God. Both are true. How’d I do, Metatron?

Metatron: You’re rockin’ it man. You’re more metaphysical than I am sometimes!

Raphael: I think I need some ‘mega’physical about now. What say we take in some sun and surf to let in this piece? I know Andy wants to play, and I want to play too. Let’s rest up, digest and continue soon. We have a few more pieces left to feel together it feels like. Thank you, everyone.
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

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Galactic Alignment Energies Align ‘Past’ With ‘Present’

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

past-life-memories

 

The Christmas season, it feels like, is one of the most nostalgic phases of the ‘year’. It has magic and wonder and even love frequencies that have been difficult for many to access other times of the year. It can be and often is also a reminder of painful experiences. This year we have a big galactic alignment happening on top of the usual Christmas season frequencies, adding to the usual reactions and responses from parts of us during this ‘time of year’. I feel as if there is a ‘ping-pong’ ball being created by the current wave of energies, bouncing around, ‘pinging’ this memory and that memory and then ‘ponging’ us back to the present. If we feel this with a more expanded heart-lens though, we can feel how this pinging and ponging is becoming more feverish, more rapid and more solid too, quickening the pace of ‘memory’ downloads from this timeline and others, giving us the opportunity to feel how nothing is actually ‘in the past’, but that it’s ALL alive in the Now – this ‘time’ we are living in that we know as ‘the present’. These memories can be a mix of happy and sad… they can be about this life and/or other lives, including our galactic origins. It is a mixed bag of emotional reactions and realities, especially as we reflect on the year that has passed that we have been calling ‘2017’, and we feel how even what we feel being stirred up inside of us now is a reflection to us of something(s) that have been left unfelt, unheld, unhealed.

The energies of this currently activated galactic alignment feel to be helping us align with what isn’t actually in the ‘past’ as all, as so many of us have held it. Our emotional body does not ‘see’ painful or even joyful memories as ‘past’ at all and instead feels them as if they really are happening now. You may also be finding that memories you forgot you even had, especially of abuse or anything severely traumatic including Star BEing abductions, are surfacing now too, creating major waves in your body, your heart, your life… This-life wounding (and beyond) is surfacing, as many of us are experiencing, reminding us of what we have still to feel and heal, which is so important for the inhabitation and activation of our Merkabahs that are wanting to take us to NEW heights, places, dimensions, multi-verses. There is no overnight or quick fix, and the more space we can make and hold for all of this to surface, the better. Feeling these pinging and ponging pieces that are coming up now is what gives us our springboard to new heights and horizons. New soul discoveries, pains, patterns, etc are coming up now too, often linked to our this-life pain anyways, as this is how it is for beings as multi-dimensional as ourselves… everything is connected.

We are not alone in any of this, and in fact, we are so supported by guides, Metasoul aspects (including our various galactic aspects, too), and Divine love. We are being supported to continue asking for the help we need and responding to the love parts of us are needing and aching for. In SoulFullHeart, we are here to serve love with you… we feel how challenging and sometimes difficult it can be when parts of you come up to be felt, sometimes for the first time ever… my beloveds and I continue this inward journey, feeling and cultivating this process within ourselves and we really do love to be with others in it as well. So much moves in session space and group space with us, and it’s always surprising what comes up and how much inner wisdom we actually already have, just waiting to be tapped into through this healing work. I personally desire to serve more and more young women around and under the age of 30 and my heart would like to invite you to check us out deeper: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

 

❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Energies Invite You To Open Up The ‘Love’ Spaces In Your Life

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

by Bhaskar655 On Deviantart

Opening up spaces… this is always our choice, how much space we want to take or give… be in or offer. So much can take up ‘space’, including parts of us that need us, relationships to people or anything really, space in our living spaces and even our bodies. In a way, there can never really be ’empty’ spaces, only pregnant pauses, as each moment of what seems or feels to parts of you like ‘nothing’ is actually chock-full of something.

We are being invited to open up more space, allow more air in, widen the aperture, lengthen and strengthen the opportunity for MORE to come in, to fill us up in more spacious ways… no more cramping or cramming or cutting to fit. No more agony as parts of us twist themselves into human pretzels in order to fit into small, very specific expectations of culture, birth family, friendships, romances. Belonging fully to the self and finding a you-shaped space in the collective too in a healthy way, that allows still for air, breathing, BEing, envisioning, loving. And then, draws the relationships that fit and support this… to food, to soul family, to a Sacred Union mate/mates.

Yoga or other physical practices that extend beyond a self-image based focus on the body, invite more space into the body for the movement, healing, upgrading that is necessary and imminent. Consuming foods that support high vibrations of more light, love and air to enter and live in the body, is a way to nourish the spaces and indeed, create more space within the body. Meditation offers space for the parts that are stuck in the mind, in 3D and sometimes lower 4D churnings of trying to ‘figure it all out’. Breathing into your life, making space for money-making that doesn’t stress, strain or harm you or parts of you in any way, allowing for realization and development of your true soul-purpose path while having the space to go inward and continue healing… which is what truly brings it about and draws those who you need to serve and support into your life as well as who you need to support and reflect you to you in the interest of your own ongoing healing path.

Space within your heart is what is created when you choose feeling and BEing over doing. You create the space to feel and be with parts and Metasoul aspects of you so that you can then have and offer more space to others. This creates more space within your soul too, and allows for more conscious creation and being able to draw timelines you most desire.

‘Love heart, Love body, Love mind, Love soul, Love life’, as I have taken to saying recently. All the Love you need, all of the time, in ALL ways, coming from ALL of YOU. INspiring love, calling it into the spaces and crevices claimed and felt. Not consciously creating this space for yourself and your parts and Metasoul Aspects too asks life to create it for you, and often this can manifest in ways that are less than favorable. Life will press you back inward, as the ultimate facilitator of your healing. Life is love and love is life, and love wants you to have more love, be more love, serve more love WITH love. It has its own agenda, as does your soul, and your soul, like a magnet, wants to help you and every part of you, return to Love consciousness again.

Breathe into the spaces for more you to grow, see what’s there and what’s waiting for you while you are in the process of discovering and uncovering the you that you’re meant to BE. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Energies Offer Deeper Connection To Masculine/Feminine Healing Within

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri with Magdalena

Sacred Union by DeAnne Wolfgram.jpg

Painting: ‘Sacred Union‘ by Deanne Wolfgram

Ah, these energies of dancing, loving and WARM union and rediscovery of the truly sacred masculine and feminine within… that always finds its way to overflow once it has been deeply and earnestly dived into. This is alchemy, this dance of one WITH the other, acknowledgment of the places both have taken inside of you and where their wounded expressions need to be felt and held space for. There is much that this dance of love in body, heart, soul and mind, ALL, want to bring to you, through you, with you.

I’ve been feeling strongly the connection of Magdalena and Christiel in the last couple of days. I have especially been feeling Magdalena energy coming in to be with me, bake with me in her frequencies that smell like sandalwood and lavender, and feel like a warm spring sun bringing food and life to the creations it shines on. She is a light in the heart of all women and men. She brings with her the true spirit of Tantra, the sensuality of a woman in love with herself in all ways, sharing her love body, her love soul, her love heart, her love mind with her mate. She expects no perfection, for the greatest works of art are the ones often not seen as ‘art’ at first. She teaches us of true feminine unity and healing. What it means to really go inward, to heal to the far reaches of your deepest heart pain, to TRULY let go of competition with or dislike of other women by feeling the layers of why these feelings have been needed. She advocates for the inward and outward phases, both, encouraging your overflow of self love to be shared.

I feel her imbibing my words and my energy these days, as I deepen my connection with her through my process, from the heart UP. I feel Christiel as well, as they are an intimate package to be with and one is never very far from the other, it seems. They offer that our deepest healing surprises come from feeling polarity dances of wounded yet perhaps healing masculine and feminine frequencies inside of each of us. Without counterpart vibrations consciously making music within our hearts and souls, the depths of potential healing stays only as potential.

I feel Magdalena offering directly,

“Beautiful beloved heart and soul, you are… so many of us say this to you through others who are channels for our messages and offer distortions at times too. Yet the positive comes through more often than not that is intended to make way for what is real to fill the space within. It is as important to FEEL now, as it has ever been! It is important to feel all of the aches, the desires, the clinging-on places where parts of you have been afraid to let go and eventually let in… there is so much unknown to trust, yes, and the Divine trusts your soul to navigate this, however it is meant to, in whatever timing it chooses. It is just so, in a simple way that also has many layers and explanations that actually reach far beyond words! To all of my woman hearts and souls… now is the time to deeply dive into your hearts. There is much you have learned and much you have yet to learn too. To simply be with the real, even if it feels messy, is the invitation now and always. For what is at stake is more about whether or not you would like to experience the deepest love you possibly can in this life, or if you would like to wait for another. No ‘loss’, though each may bring you sorrow, can possibly be a loss of your own forever and your own quest for and with love. When you create the space for the awakening within, your awakenings of slumbering alchemy in your life will have room to shake and quake the life you have known, bringing you, ultimately, to MORE of what you have most deeply desired.

In LOVE with YOU my sisters and brothers… Magdalena”.

If you are in a Sacred Union and can feel these energies with your partner, this is a phase to bring them sexually to each other. It is a time to create new timelines together through love making, bringing intentional space between you as the energies caress and exchange. Of course this can be done from you to you, as well, and for many of you, this is what’s necessary in this phase as you work to bring the healing opportunities that are moving you into your own highest timelines, possibly along with drawing a Sacred Union of your own. Engaging in this with Gabriel yesterday brought us both into a space of alchemy and heart-centeredness that is connecting us both to deeper places of healing within and strengthening our bond more and more as we embark on our new timeline together that is arising and emerging Now.

Feeling these energies of Magdalena and Christiel in such accessible ways is a huge gift right now and one that it feels like will keep on giving, as you keep giving to yourself by way of space-holding for what is real inside of you and parts of you. Here we go, deeper into these exquisite energies, and deeper into ourselves too! ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Supermoon Codes Offer Inner Illuminations, Timeline Activations, Sacred Union

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

moon_water.453740767

As I felt and ‘saw’ the light codes coming in the early morning from the Supermoon today, they seemed to softly fall like snow or fairy dust upon my beloved and I, as we lay in bed. They looked like sparkling gold and though we weren’t outside, I could feel them come in through the windows and walls, finding their way to us. I hadn’t thought much about light codes coming from the moon and what they could mean or offer. In some ways, the moon hasn’t even been on my radar all that much, though of course, how could a Supermoon go unnoticed?!

They seem to be a sprinkling of something magical, that is also natural to arise now in this stage of Ascension. There is always an alchemical magic, though also a profound and often quite emotional process in letting go and letting in, which is something I’ve written about for the last few days as I have been walking out and feeling deeply my own process of doing just this very thing. So many others seem to be experiencing this too right now, as this IS the process of letting in higher timeline desires and possibilities too… the imminence and immediacy of claiming what we truly want yet also what and HOW our soul wants to serve LOVE, is something we are all invited to feel, feel, feel. It lights us up like a bright torch or beacon, calling us back to us, back to our sacred union within, and into deeper territory with a sacred union outside of us too, for those who have drawn that and for those who are likely about to draw that! It is the goodness of life and of love itself that we can feel now, even and sometimes especially through the painful moments of realizations and dawning truths. The pulsing, purging and pain lead to relief, revitalization, and release and a letting in, lighting up, loving OUT experience of ourselves and of life too.

Residual wounding, core wounding too, can all be held now by you, with the help of guides and this Supermoon fairy dust energy of light code sprinkles. Asking for the help, love and support you need is an invitation for all as the Ascension energies continue to move in and ramp up, amping up the anchors and moving parts of us into the spotlight held by Love. There is no end to the inner love flow that is available to be dipped into as you continue on your journey of healing inside, being with parts of you and soul Aspects too, bringing in and breathing in the energies that want to support not suppress and hold you through the next states and stages necessary for your inhabitation of new and next growth edges and places.

If you wish to discover more about parts of you that may be in resistance to this dance with the Love and Ascension energies coming in, there is much this process of SoulFullHeart can offer you, if you feel desirous and ready for deep transformation and change from the heart UP. http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess

Also, if you’d like to experience a tip-toe into one-on-one SoulFullHeart energies, Raphael and Jelelle Awen will be hosting a group call next Saturday, December 9th @ 11:11 am CST (Mexico City). You can join us there for an $11 usd minimum donation and keep the recording of the call afterwards. During the sharing portion of the call, you can share about your experience with anything that has been moving through you, ask questions, and/or just BE. More info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/813881412132524  ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.