Category: Ambassador Of Love

Shifting From ‘Fighting’ For Your Desires/Needs Into Advocating With Self-Love

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Solais

You’re hard-wired to seek out a life that has more ease to it, more deep fulfillment. You’re conditioned, however, to ‘fight’ for it outside of you, to ‘make’ it happen, instead of feeling and healing the fight within you, respond to life on the outside as needed, and to allow this desired life to reveal itself to you from the inside out.

Amazing things happen as the ‘warriors’ that 3D and Lower 4D consciousness have co-created within you start to heal. You start to see and experience a life with less turmoil and tension. And, you recognize that when you do feel these things in your field, you have all the power you need to choose appropriate boundaries and other shifts in your circumstances or relationships that are led by self-love.

The ‘warriors’ inside of you are the parts of you that have HAD to push away at the toxicity they were born into, in one way or another. They’ve HAD to be in their own sacred processes of awakening to the rumbles of the collective, to the systems in place that yes, need to and are collapsing, even without parts of you holding the blowtorch (though I get that in some cases, boy do they want to!). Healing the warrior energy inside of you is not about moving into passivity or transcending any difficulties you witness or experience until they go away on their own.

Actually, it’s quite an active process of feeling the inner battlegrounds and going THERE. Going into your Metasoul to feel the personal connection you hold to ‘race wars’ within other lifetimes, let alone this one. Going inward to feel what the people in power represent, how your own soul has participated willingly in the creation of the collapsing ‘Cabal’. Your sacred soul journey is playing out now and always and within is the place where you have any real jurisdiction to ‘do your part’ to change the world at large.

Any actions you need to take on the outside of you, then spring naturally from these places and parts within you that are healing. You’ll naturally feel the need for more space from others who don’t resonate with the inner work you’ve undertaken. You won’t necessarily find even a ‘battle’ in that advocation, even if there are moments of needing to push back against an energy to set a much-needed boundary. This experience is temporary though and you’ll find it comes from a new place within you and with new energy too, that isn’t looking for a battle but responding instead to dissonant energies and moving them out of your heart space and personal space with LOVE.

This process is a sacred re-wiring of your life from the inside-out. It holds the fulfillment you’re ultimately seeking and wanting and deeply desiring. It unlocks the door to you, your parts, your ever-deepening soul journey and shifts you into the space of being a Love Ambassador, a unique energy that this world, and your inner world, need now more than ever before.

Gabriel, Raphael, and I offer FREE 30-45min consultation calls if you’re interested in the SoulFullHeart Experience healing process and what I’m offering here: soulfullheart.org/sessions

MUCH love! ❀

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

The Divine Invitation To Move From Warrior To Love Ambassador

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

The impulse to fight is so strong. Ingrained in our very and every DNA, going back to our roots and the 3D battles, galactic wars and the ancient ones too. The urge to β€˜battle against’ and β€˜fight for’ has been a way in 3D and 4D timelines to show your strength of character and a way to demonstrate what you love, your loyalty, and the depth of your love and passion for your country/family/king/ruler.

We have all had so many 3D and 4D timelines of fighting, battling, and BEing the warrior. Not just men, yet all of us on a Metasoul level choosing this expression in different forms and shapes. A sword, gun, whatever weapons in our hands….or using words as the weapon…or energy thrown about and at whomever we have deemed to be the enemy.

This battling is in our DNA. It is also a galactic consciousness inheritance from our Star Family in the timelines where galactic wars have been and are a reality. Our 3D culture/current timeline is all about battling…good vs evil, light vs dark. All of the biggest blockbuster movies are based on this premise with battle scenes being the climax of all of them.

Battles lead to more battles with always a cost of some kind on both sides. The biggest cost is the energy that it takes and that has to move through us in order to engage in this way. The desire to battle comes from mostly unhealed wounding/traumas in which we have been both victim and perpetrator. These unhealed wounds have a vibration/energetic frequency that expresses, then, as rage. Rage in its essence is passionate truth telling that has been suppressed to protect the more vulnerable feelings of hurt underneath.

The parts of us that can be a warrior (such as the Inner Protector and our Gatekeeper) and have had to be are becoming more weary, tired, and just done with all this battling. They are wanting to move into a new phase of ambassador where trust and forgiveness lead over mistrust and grudges. You can feel this part of you as your Inner Protector and connecting with them can help to transition them into this new phase with you. As this part of you shifts their focus from fighting, they can put their energies toward opening up Metasoul timelines/lifetimes, your soul awakening, and becoming a channel for Divine love.

The warrior archetype can be deeply expressed in your Metasoul….many lifetimes of choosing to fight for God, for country, for King, for belief systems. There is much β€˜soul burn’ from these experiences as they so often led to violent death and killing/murder, the densest energy frequencies of trauma. These lifetimes can bleed through into your current experience of life, attaching to traumas this-life that are similar in tone, even if not as intense or extreme in content. There is also trauma from being on the receiving end or victim of these fighting/killing energies. And, so many of us have been on both sides of this…both victim and persecutor/perpetrator.

Connecting to your Gatekeeper as the guardian of your veil of amnesia and channel to Divine Love allows you access to these lifetimes to feel and heal the warrior/fighter within them. You offer a balm of love and forgiveness along with the Divine to them and a beautiful gift exchange occurs as you become a love ambassador to your own soul. I have experienced this myself many times and in session space and it is a beautiful working and movement that has quantum and exponential results.

We are being invited as a human species to evolve beyond our instinct and habit toward fighting. We are being invited to embody and inhabit an ambassador’s consciousness and a diplomat’s deep desire in 5D to find a peaceful middle ground of negotiation. We are being invited to become the service of love with ourselves and others as the Ascension process into Sacred Humanity continues to unfold.

The new heroes/heroines of the New Earth/Gaia reality will be those who can bring peace in any situation. It will no longer be the warriors who receive the recognition and admiration, yet those who can offer forgiveness to even the darkest-feeling energies, beings, and situations. This ability will become so important as we move deeper into collective disclosure of 3D/4D Matrix realities that will be difficult for so many souls to digest and accept. Those who can offer authentic objectivity and compassion toward all sides will be very valuable as models and templates of β€˜New Gaians’.

New Earth invites us to find and discover resolutions that come from finding common grounds of ambassadorship, which are about being able to feel and be compassionate toward someone else’s perspective. Not wanting to do harm even if the means of harming could be justified by a temporary resolution of the conflict.

The Divine Mother invites us to move into our compassionate heart of neutrality toward all aspects of ourselves and toward others as the next phase of our conscious evolution as a species here.This capacity to be an ambassador of love starts from within, from one part of you to another, from one Metasoul Aspect to another, from one relationship to another.

It is a process of becoming a forgiving and compassionate energy to all of your emotions/reactions/triggers. No longer judging some as bad or ill or a disorder or sinful or needing to be fixed. No longer bypassing the most unsavory and uncomfortable ones in order to just be in bliss. Yet, instead, embracing all of your emotions as portals inviting you into a rich and deep ground of endless self discovery and growth.

It is a process of inviting all parts and Metas to put down the sword and replace it with a lantern…offering illumination out of the darkness and shadows. It is leading with curiosity to light the way rather than condemnation, which only keeps things hidden in suffering loops of shameful secrecy.

~ From Free To Be 5D, New Book by Jelelle Awen

~

This is an excerpt from my new book Free To Be 5D: Navigating Ascension From The Inside Out available NOW in PDF, e-book, and print editions. You can read more with links to purchase here: soulfullheart.org/books

Join Raphael and I for the final call in our Free To Be 2 group call series on Wednesday June 24 at 10:00am PDT for teachings and a guided meditation about navigating the transition from warrior (and however that expresses within your soul) to 5D Love Ambassador or receive the recording for any donation amount at soulfullheart.org/shop or paypal.me/jelelleawen

Raphael and I will be starting a new six week group call series on July 15 called Free To Be 5D that is an accompaniment to the book as well offering teachings, personal sharings and guided meditations to create a deeper experience of the content in the book. More info at soulfullheart.org/freetobe5dgroupcallseries

Humanity’s Return To Innocence

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Solais

Believe it or not… and I’ll bet parts of you feel skeptical (and reasonably so) right now. Yet, I’ve been offered that a huge aspect of the process we’re in right now on Gaia is a great ‘Return to Innocence’. It’s not a simple process by any means. Yet laid out for us, it is. And invited into it deeper, we are.

This ‘innocence’ means seeing and feeling the world through the eyes of wonder and trust, even though there may be tears sometimes when you feel what is burning away in your own life and in the lives of others. Actually, this innocence means there is a renewed sense of your own heart’s purity, which despite the trauma you’ve experienced, remains deep within you. This is what you return to when you’ve healed through so many of the defences parts of you have needed throughout your life. This is the place you interact with others from more than ever before when the younger parts of you who are now much wiser because of life experience but not bitter (anymore) are able to feel this innocence within themselves.

Even all of the purging going on with Cabal, illuminating collective darkness and shadow so that we can dig deeper and move away from this timeline of suppression of love and truth (which can’t ultimately BE suppressed really), is leading us back to our innocence. These darker energies that have influenced and held the larger spaces of politics and fame and even spirituality, are loosening their grip and returning to their own reconciliation within. To meet and match these energies and defend against them as well, parts (especially your Inner Protector) and Metasoul aspects in other timelines have had to adapt and defend, become fiercer than they truly are or want to be, and forget about their realest vulnerabilities and the core of their heart’s desires. This is leading us through a BIG detox of what has NOT been us, individually and collectively, and is challenging us to feel our hearts again.

It may seem sometimes during this purging process that things are getting worse… but when it comes to toxicity, quite often things get worse before they get better. Storms happen before rainbows. And even rainbows happen sometimes while the sky is still clearing of rain and clouds. So it is that our innocence, our Divine Child light, can still find ways to shine through, even though there is still so much churning in the world.

It’s a deep, many-layered process. As I feel my own empowerment in my own process to feel all of this emerging in my own being, I feel how much work it’s taken to get to a space of feeling more of my innocence again. More of the desire to genuinely and heartfully connect, to bring vulnerability even when it feels iffy to do so, is able to emerge now. I can feel this as a new form of leadership that gets to arise now from within me and invite others to find the same within. It’s worth all of the shadow processing to get here and I trust too that this feeling of my own ‘Return To Innocence’ will help hold the space for any more shadow explorations that follow.

And so it can and will be for you… if you keep choosing the curiosity, the inner work, and the desire to hold space for yourself and others as we continue this transition to the most ALIVE-feeling life that we could ever have imagined.

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Remembering Our Starseed Essence

Published on by Deya ShekinahLeave a comment

By Deya Shekinah

Every week the parts and themes we are feeling and connecting with through the ‘Free To Be Two’ group calls seem to be naturally interconnected, offering me a much bigger picture of myself, the world, and the Universe. 

My Inner Teenager, Yasmin, feels so connected to the collapse of the 3D Matrix. Feeling her is helping me collapse the matrices inside at the same time as I’m witnessing them collapse on the outside. Feeling where she was ‘plugged in’ through the school systems and birth family templating is helping me unravel all the beliefs and ideas she holds about who she is meant to be. 

Last week I could feel her in the school corridors, overwhelmed and unprepared for the huge transition that it was. I could feel her innocence, as she carried my Inner Child in her arms wearing PJ’s and holding a teddy bear. She quickly learnt to ‘grow up’ and hide her Inner Child and innocence so she could ‘fit in’ and ‘survive’. This created so much depression which I can still feel here now, as hidden with her childhood innocence was also her curiosity, her creativity, her sense of purpose, and her multi-dimensional connections.

Something that feels so rich within my Inner Child is this connection to the magic, to the mysterious, and to the stars. As life got denser through living in 3D, I forgot about the magical essence of my Inner Child as she seemed to get further and further away. I am now remembering her and feeling how she has been there all along as the one who was questioning everything and longing for Home. 

She feels like my Starseed, who is revealing herself organically as Yasmin is deeply digesting her experiences this life. She feels expansive, curious, and open to all the possibilities in this Universe. She restores the magic in this existence and reminds me of the bigger picture of all that is happening in our world right now. 

Connecting with my Starseed brings me into a deep peace within, as she helps me remember I have never been alone and that those who I have longed to go home to were always here with me, inside me, every step of the way.

You can join Raphael & Jelelle Awen today for the fourth call in our Free To Be 2 series, Navigating The Matrix Collapse to New Earth Transition, at 10:00am PDT with teachings and a guided meditation to connect to your Star Seed within, Star Family, and galactic consciousness. You can join live and/or receive the recordings for a donation at soulfullheart.org/shop or paypal.me/jelelleawen. More info here: soulfullheart.org/freetobe2

Much Love, 

Deya x

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

Remember, Star Seed, Where You Come From, Who You Are, and Your Star Family | Message W/Binkh

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

Remember, Star Seed, where you come from. This is not an ‘outside of you’ place, somewhere in the Cosmos or another planet or another Galaxy. Yet, rather this is a place that dwells from within you.

THIS place is your cosmic consciousness, where your humanity meets the stars in an embodied way. Your cosmic consciousness can feel and move beyond the 3D programming and conditioning that you have received all your life from the Matrix system. Your cosmic consciousness can extend beyond five sense reality filtering into multidimensional access.

Your cosmic consciousness lives in your cells already…in your DNA, in your glands, in your auric field, in your chakras, in your heart, in your mind, in your soul. It is just WAITING for activation, for connection, for bridging, and for watering.

Remember, Star Seed, who your family is. This is not the birth family that has raised you in 3D reality. Yet, rather a Star Family that KNOWS your galactic nature intimately and personally.

THIS Star Family has been in contact with you for your entire life, in ways both subtle and obvious. There is not one moment of contact in the physical to wait for, yet rather, it is happening all of the time, to whatever degree you can see and feel it.

Your Star Family Unity Consciousness lives within you already and can be activated in a more conscious way whenever you are ready. Your Star Family has never really left you, been witness on your difficult journey on the 3D Earth Plane and they are here to support your Ascension into sacred humanity in a more conscious way to you Now.

Remember, Star Seed, WHERE you really come from, WHO you really ARE, and the Star Family that you belong to. As you remember, so you become a beacon to the rest of humanity to awaken and find their way home starting from within them once again.

Love,
Binkh (Arcturian Aspect) and Jelelle Awen

Listen to the recording of Raphael Awen and I of the fourth call in our Free To Be 2: Navigating The Matrix Collapse to New Earth Transition at 10:00am PDT for teachings and guided meditation to connect to your Star Seed within, Star Family, and galactic consciousness. You can join us live and/or receive the recordings for a donation at soulfullheart.org/shop or paypal.me/jelelleawen. More info here: soulfullheart.org/freetobe

More writings on the activation of cosmic consciousness, connecting to your Star Seed, and descriptions of various Star BEings in my new book Free To Be 5D, available on ebook, print, and PDF versions: soulfullheart.org/books

Desire & Hope For A New World: A Poem

Published on by Raianna ShaiLeave a comment

By Raianna Shai

I feel the polarities in the world right now
Power and pain
Passion and heartbreak
Love and fear

I hope for a change
For our parts to be felt
For our hearts to be healed
For our voices to be heard

I dream of a new world
Of peace and joy
Of compassion and understanding
Of healing and awakening

I see us hand in hand
Fighting no longer needed
Shame and guilt fading away
Unity and community in spades

I believe in us as humans
To dive into our shadow
And rise into love
To reach our collective ceiling of fear
And burst into the unknown of trust

I desire so much for humanity
To feel the violence inside
And the violence towards others
To heal it with kindness

For…
I am LOVE
YOU are LOVE
WE are LOVE

Incredible painting by Josephine Wall πŸ’•

***

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and website designer for SoulFullHeart Healing, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about free consultations and 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, Free To Be group calls, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

3D Matrix Shaking Up To Wake Us Up

Published on by Deya ShekinahLeave a comment

By Deya Shekinah

There is an intensity in the world right now that seems to be in a constant ramping up and amping up. It feels like we are in a pressure cooker set at its highest temperature and cooking speed. I see this reflected in the current events happening in 3D right now, how it can feel to parts like it is β€˜one thing after another’.  I am also seeing this in my personal process. It feels like there are so many threads up for healing and completion, other timelines bleeding through, and past relationships coming up for deeper completion. Basically, anything that cannot come with us into the New is calling our attention inwards if we are choosing to go there.

In my own process I am feeling how overwhelming this can get for my parts, especially the Inner Masculine parts like the Inner Protector and the Gatekeeper. They feel like they are wanting to set a self-loving, discerning pace to our process and for us, even as they may use ways of protecting and suppressing us that do not feel that way. I feel them trying to navigate all of what is coming up through a very limited lens created in the 3D way of life, that teaches us to avoid rather than meet what we are feeling.

Inside myself when life sparks things to feel and digest, and with so much anger, injustice, fear, pain and confusion coming up to be felt, I feel an inner struggle at times. I feel a struggle between taking care of myself and my parts, and caring about the world and feeling what is moving within it as the 3D Matrix shakes up, breaks up, and is collapsing. 

For so long my parts approached healing and Awakening as something that needed to be done and quickly because they felt there was β€˜something wrong’ and that they needed to β€˜be fixed’. This created an intensity to how my parts would approach how they felt, a searching, a seeking which was not discerning or self loving. This has created more to heal and digest with them. I sense that happening for us as a collective now too, with Covid, the things happening in the US now, all that is being revealed to us. As we search for answers, deeper meaning and to fix it all, it feels like our parts can get caught up in it all without any space for digesting how they feel about it too. This creates more for us to digest around how we treat ourselves through this whole unravelling.

Through my own deepening with my parts through the SoulFullHeart process, and as higher frequency Aspects of my Metasoul are coming in as I digest the trauma of my 3D self/parts,I am feeling guided from within to take a more gentle approach, a more self-lovingly paced approach to what information I am letting in and how much my parts can actually feel and digest in one go. I am being offered and it feels like an invitation for us all, to move above these Matrices, to look from an overview perspective, which feels like it can happen more as we digest how we feel and the trauma our parts have experienced in 3D. 

This is not a bypassing of what is going on in the world or in our personal processes. I see the image of birds flying high and scanning the waters, which look like the 3D/4D matrix grids. As the bird we can choose where and when we need to go in and fish or be in the waters. I also feel the image of a mermaid, who can dive deep into the depths when she needs or wants to, yet can also enjoy being at the surface, being in/flowing with the ever-changing motion of the ocean with trust in the waves and the ones she is meant to catch. I feel how this picture allows us to go into feeling as and when we and our parts feel strong enough to do so, rather than them having to be led by expectation, guilt or shame. I am feeling these themes coming up at the moment to feel and it is not easy to digest. I feel more and more how much space and tenderness we need around us to feel all we are being called to feel.

A self-loving pace to feeling, healing and digesting feels so important, especially as it feels like the collapse of the 3D matrix will keep getting more intense for us all. I feel us knowing inside when and what we need to go into, to feel for ourselves and in the collective, that what we need in life finds a way to present itself to us. We do not have to keep digging for the healing or the answers anymore. It feels like everything is being revealed to us as needed, and like this is a time of great Illumination for us all now.

I am experiencing through digesting and healing the trauma of my parts and Metasoul how more and more of these higher frequencies aspects are coming in to support me and have always been here supporting me, even as I could not feel them. I feel the energies of Golden Earth, Lemuria, the Pleiades, all wanting to support us and help us through these intense transitions, offering that we do not need to suffer in our suffering if we choose not to. Even though we will be where we need to be until we no longer do, this is a very soothing and accepting perspective that I love in SoulFullHeart. The complete Love and acceptance of where we are at, the trust in our own Soul and its timing, that is validated and encouraged through this process.

I feel we can all bring more Love into the process at any time even if we find ourselves in the deepest, darkest, densest places within ourselves and within the collective, Now. Allowing ourselves to slow down, digest, and feel as we go, feels like it will truly help us all and offers a break for the higher frequencies of Love to come in. To go INside more and more often for our answers and support, rather than look outside as life in 3D has taught us, feels like where we need to go and where we find the torch to guide our way into the New, to illuminate what needs to be met and moved through for each individual. I feel this will be needed more and more as we transition through this 3D collapse and all that is being revealed through the process. 

Yesterday’s Free To Be Two series Group call theme was β€˜’3D Matrix/Cabal Collapse and unplugging w/ your 3D Self”’. The call was full of activating, inspiring and full of connection. These are powerful gatherings with Jelelle and& Raphael Awen offering much to feel, that supports the healing within, that does ripple out into the collective through our innate interconnectedness and oneness essence, it feels like. For more info you can head to soulfullheart.org/freetobe2two where you can purchase the recording for a donation.

So Much Love, 

Deya x

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

Finding Your Place In The Fire

Published on by Gabriel Amara3 Comments

There is a violence that is bubbling from within the collective. Just like the collective fear that became evident at the beginning of this β€˜pandemic’, the suppressed, unfelt, and unhealed violence continues to make its way to the surface. The reality is that it will continue to do so until we face our own violence. 

Yes, there are systemic problems that need some serious addressing. There is a widening gap between the privileged and the disenfranchised. Between cultures and genders. Between our personality and our humanity. There is a rising tension that the train is about to come off the rails. I have often wondered if it has needed to. 

With the level of managed tension and rage that lives underground, there has always been a sense of a Big One coming. Living in California for most of my life we were always told that the Great Earthquake was always a When, not an If. In the US, economic, racial, and political tensions feel to be accelerating. Goats are being scaped everywhere. The emotional body of a nation is in a pressure cooker being put into a fire by a compromised media. 

As this is being stoked and fueled, each individual is being affected and that adds to the energy of the collective dogpile. β€˜They’ have found a way to keep the violence intact, and even when there are peaceful protests, there are provocateurs to make sure it all finds its way back to chaos. 

What action and power do each of us have in these times when it feels like it is all coming unglued? I think that is one you have to ask yourself. What feels like the most aligned with your purpose here? If it is to advocate and protest, then I say do so with all the Love you have to muster. That is possible. If it is to hold the space for the Kali phase of this death and rebirth then hold it with the might and compassion of your heart and soul. If you are to shine the Light of the New Earth then shine that Mother with all the power and glory that is within you without compromise. 

The collective needs us to keep feeling and healing our own violence and suppression. It needs us to get clear and focused without judgment on timing. If you are feeling deeply, shifting your timeline, and aligning yourself with Love and Purpose, you are making a difference. If you are able to really start loving yourself and overflowing to others, you are serving. If you are holding to your truth without judgement of others you are shifting consciousness. 

It may get bumpy and a bit scary, but if we hold the Light and turn that within we can make this transition with Grace. This is what we each came here to witness, experience, and help heal. 

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Deeper Intimacy With Self Through The Explorations With Money

Published on by Deya ShekinahLeave a comment

By Deya Shekinah

Wow, what a topic money is. I feel so many layers and parts wrapped into the explorations with money. One of the things that Jelelle Awen offered in the SoulFullHeart Free To Be Two group call about money this week, was how some can relate to money as a false god. This landed straight away as what I experienced within my family, how earning money gave meaning to life and felt like the only meaning to life as there was no spirituality or religion in my upbringing. I feel how my Inner Masculine, David, took this on and how my Inner Child, Yazzy, was stifled by this. Since she was always so multi dimensional, she didn’t believe this to be true, but as there was no one bringing any other meaning, she became capped by that.

I remembered a time when a male family member said to me that β€˜money is the only thing that matters in the world’. At the time, I was blown away that anyone could believe that. As I feel it now, I feel so much density in that picture of our world, the lack of joy or spaciousness in it. As I feel David, I sense this energy within him as the conditioning he received from birth family members. 

Right now I am in a transition into a new way of being and earning money, that is bringing light to David’s relationship to money.  I hold and feel a lot of trust around money after years of transitioning and exploring money. This transition has grown into a deeper awareness and understanding of a greater meaning of life, as well as what abundance looks and feels like to me. 

I have learnt that abundance is many things. Not only money, but time, connection, vulnerability with others, space to BE. These all feel like abundance to me. I am coming to know and feel that my inner feeling of abundance is what draws abundance on the outside including financial abundance, even as that is still growing. For David, I feel him seeing this abundance coming in and seeing money coming in for offering my Soul Gifts, but he still does not FEEL abundant.

The group call has helped me feel this with him, his reality more of distrust and lack that he has been in and learnt throughout this 3D experience, sure that has been the 3D experience. One of the core beliefs I feel held in David is, β€˜there is never enough money’., I see how much this creates that reality for us because he is so focused on β€˜there is never enough’. He cannot appreciate or acknowledge it as it is coming in. I feel how it is the ability to be grateful for what IS, in the moment, that draws more of that thing to you, which of course is a journey, not something you can create through bypassing feeling the lack of gratitude. 

I feel how this lack of money belief is actually a cover up for lack of love, connection, communication and boundaries, it feels like. Money becomes this huge focal point when there is no other meaning to life. Money has become this huge elephant in the room, where we think about it, worry about it, are anxious about it, but we do not really honestly talk about it, at least in my experience and in this culture of my current geography. The shame, the guilt, the resentment around money is of course going to make it heavy and joyless. This feels like it creates blocks to, and a push/pull within us and our relationship to money, as well as abundance in general. 

I feel the lack of joy the Inner Masculine can hold around life in general, which then seeps into his relationship with/to everything else in life. I feel David feeling joyless, I feel him longing to experience joy as my other parts do, his sadness that he cannot seem to meet them there. Yet I feel how no one has ever asked him what he likes, what the meaning of his life is, and how he has been disempowered throughout this 3D experience too.

So now there is this new ground to walk out with him, where he is included and wanted, where he gets to feel and heal too because he is valued by me through this process. So this is where talking about money leads us, perhaps not straight away to more money, although I feel that coming in but to deeper connection, understanding and intimacy with our parts, and with each other eventually too.

You can purchase the recording of this Free To Be Two group call about money and attendance at/recordings of future group calls in this series by offering a donation of any amount. More information at soulfullheart.org/freetobe2.

Love,

Deya & David

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

Welcoming Everything In Closer, Sacred Union Within

Published on by Deya ShekinahLeave a comment

By Deya Shekinah

This past month has been a deep dive with my Inner Teenager, Yasmin. We have been digesting so much together and navigating many timelines collapsing and arising. 

It has been a very tender time of feeling the reality of her experiences in this life, especially how she has been in relationship with others. Yasmin has always been such an open book, I have felt in this time of less sharing how her openness hasn’t always come from a place of self love. I’ve been feeling how she has shared such deeply intimate details of her life with others, with anyone really, because she so deeply longed to be felt, seen and heard… something she didn’t receive much of.

As we digested together, I have been writing but when it has come to sharing publicly, I am becoming more sensitive to her vulnerability. I am learning that instead of sharing, I can let her land more inside of me, letting her feelings be felt and validated by me, by Jelelle Awen and by those closest to me, who I feel safe with. Rather than trying to understand, I am learning to listen. To listen to her stories, the ones she has buried deep down and disconnected from. Feeling all the things she could not feel in other times of her life because she wasn’t safe to.

I am realizing all she has ever truly wanted was to be welcomed in all that she is and all that she feels, rather than only being desired, wanted or welcomed in certain energies of who she is. Her tears were so close this morning. I feel how other parts of me have learnt to try to fix her or push aspects of her emotional reality away. I feel how she also experienced this in all of her relationships to varying degrees.

As I moved and danced, I welcomed all of her in closer than ever before, all her tears, all her longing. She felt unsure at first, as tears have always been hard for her to feel without someone else holding space. As her tears were always hidden and not welcomed, it has taken me a long time to realize that they can be. As I grow through this process as a space holder, I am able to offer her a new narrative around tears and sadness, as I see more and  more how her longings and tears are the doorway to our desires for life.

She cried. She let go into me, resting more into the pain in her heart. It felt beautiful. It feels like the beginning of a new relationship, except this one is just with me. I want all of her because I know how much she has held alone, how much wisdom she holds because of that. I feel how deeply she loves when she is welcomed in all of who she is, and how the pain of not being welcomed has broken her heart open to life.

I sense some deeper layers of heartbreak arising, feeling the pain of relationships that didn’t work out and the times it has felt to her that people wanted her but only certain parts of her. The feeling of not being wanted in her fullness touches these tender tears. There is a growing sense of gratitude to those people who weren’t ready for all of her. I am a stronger woman because of it, who feels love for and loved by every aspect that makes up this expression of me. I no longer have to be more than or less than. I can be me, this beautiful bliss mess embodied as a woman. Trusting that as I love myself and see myself more and more, I will attract others who can only show up for the same.

Love,

Deya x

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc