The Giving Season In The Real Age

The holiday season is here in full force. We have many religious traditions, the winter solstice, and the turn of a new year and decade approaching. There is much anticipation of what is to come on so many levels. So many predictions and possibilities. We are awash with potential and demand at the same time.

In all of this it is easy to lose track of our selves. The parts of us that can get buried in it all. This can be a very magical time if we can take the time to slow it all down. What is that you really want if you were to be totally honest with yourself?

Now that may seem counter to the Giving Season. You ‘should’ be focused on others. Your loved ones and those that are less fortunate. It is not the others that I take issue with, it is the ‘shoulding’. That shoulding, if it exists, does not dispense or seed genuine Love at its core.

When you feel a genuine and authentic love for yourself, and all the parts of you that have been in shadow and hiding, then you bring something real to the Giving. You bring something that is not laced with guilt, duty, or obligation. It is free and flowing.

My purpose here is to bring an awareness to our giving as well as our intending, not to diminish it. What I want for all of us this coming year is a personal journey of self-love that can authentically overflow to those we come in contact with formally or informally. It is the internal combustion engine of our heart-centered alchemy.

There is a lot of hope that next year will ‘be the year’. We can hold that intention while we continue to do the work today. Right now. In this moment. That daily promise to yourself and all of your parts is what seeds that global transformation. Send love globally while you give love locally.

May this holiday season be a catalyst for your own personal evolution and arising. May the lovelight of consciousness find all of the places where we all need it the most in our shadow. Only then can the bells ring for the dawn of the Real Age.

Love to you this season.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Secret Worlds Colliding: The Reunion Of The Inner Masculine and Feminine

Seeing things that were not there
On a wing on a prayer
In this state of disrepair
Down by the railway siding
In our secret world, we were colliding
All the places we were hiding love
What was it we were thinking of?

-Peter Gabriel, Secret World

The past 2 weeks I have been in mourning. Continuing to let go of my relationship to my former wife, healing companion, and soul-growth partner. This has brought me to many tears and awarenesses of who I was and have been in relationship to intimacy and romance. I have felt a closing off of my heart and a difficulty going into the core of my fear. This was a merging and fusion to my wounded inner masculine that has been on guard for most of my life.

He has been a wall builder and a camouflage artist. I do not say that with judgement, but with compassion and gratitude as I understand why. So much coming to light about how much he had to create a Secret World in order to protect my inner feminine, my sensitive heart. Fortunately it never became so hardened that I couldn’t fall in love, but it was the eventual shut-downs and push-aways that extinguished any fire that once burned hot.

I was guided in session to connect with this guarded inner masculine (i.e. Inner Protector) to feel what the walls were hiding and protecting. The walls were initially very formidable, yet were covered with foliage which suggested life. Underneath there was moisture which suggested a porosity. I found a doorway that led to another set of walls, only this time thinner and more shrub-like. It appeared as a maze or labyrinth.

As I continued, I heard a sweet song being sung with a feminine voice. I was lead to a river bank where a beautiful woman stood washing clothes. I was immediately taken to a timeline of a military man returning home from a long tour of duty, ashamed of how long he had been away and a fear that the woman he once loved may never forgive him because he had never forgiven himself.

While this felt specific, it was also symbolic. The inner masculine having been doing its ‘duty’ for so long that he had created a Secret World to protect Her. His beloved counterpart that he had almost forgotten about in the day to day fear of being seen and witnessed as lonely, tired, and unforgivable. He could feel alone, but not his loneliness.

That feels like the crux of the wounded masculine. Feeling his genuine and vulnerable loneliness. His missing of the feminine. His forgotten aspect hidden in the depth of the psyche and heart. A man’s true journey, I am realizing, is this journey back to Her and the transparency of the Secret World he has created. The walls burn down and the Emperor wears no clothes.

It is in this space that new connection arises. She takes her space next to him. She sparks the fire and warms the hearth. Helps him to thaw from the journey of the cold and the hiding. He shakes and quivers, but is held by her. He releases and dies from what was, reimagining what could be. He may still build walls, for it was all he has known to do, but She will be there to help bring them down with love in her heart. To remind him again of the journey he took to find her once again. No longer a secret world, but an open world where only real love and truth reign.

I wanted to share this as an example of what this work can lead us to inside of ourselves. As a facilitator, I am in need of healing too. I am not perfect. Just human. A man that has chosen a path of confronting the very thing parts of him fear the most. Real Love. No matter how hardened or disconnected we become, we are always in reaction this force within us that will not be denied for it is our essence and destiny to let it reign. It is the very power that we seek as humans, only to have misinterpreted what that power really is. It is my desire and calling to serve and share that with the world.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Navigating Relationship Completions, Timeline Collapses & Shifts Podcast (Video & Audio

Here it is…the fourth episode of our weekly SoulFullHeart Experience Podcast! In this one, Gabriel Heartman and I could have talked for awhile about this topic as we are living through it right now…..navigating relationship completions, timeline collapses, and life shifts. This is such a big and deep crucible of growth for so many of us right now as we move into 2020…as we learn how to surrender to the necessary death/rebirth phases that the Divine offers us WHILE feeling the parts of us in mourning and the full range of emotions too!

Here is the description:

In this fourth episode of our weekly SoulFullHeart Experience Podcast, SoulFullHeart Facilitators Jelelle Awen and Gabriel Heartman talk about navigating life transitions, relationship completions, timeline collapses and other shifts.

This period of time leading up to the New Year of 2020 (especially during and after the 11/11 portal) is sorting out what vibrational is ‘coming with you’ and what doesn’t fit or match your higher timeline reality. This sorting out process can be experienced as something you are in cooperation with or that it is happening ‘to you’ depending on your level of conscious choice in the process.

We recommend connecting to the parts of you that been involved with and attached to the previous timeline experience or relationship. To feel the mourning and grief of letting go, along with the other feelings such as frustration and hurt that come up during completions. We also talk about the benefits of having a higher level context about the shifts and changes, what karmic clearing may be going on and necessary in your Metasoul. This allows you to be able to feel Divine trust and surrender to it rather than feeling like life is ‘doing something against you.’

Gabriel and Jelelle also share about a recent process we’ve been digesting in our community around this with Kalayna, a deep intimate friend and former SoulFullHeart Facilitator, choosing to take space from the community and facilitating to support her own process and how we have navigated and experienced that shift. We write more about that here: https://soulfullheartblog.com/2019/11…

This SoulFullHeart Experience Podcast is offered as a bridge to those of you who may not be familiar with the SoulFullHeart process or us as Facilitators of it. Those of you who are aware of our work and even connected to us through sessions, may find value in the way that we present the navigation of life shifts from the SoulFullHeart perspective. These Podcasts are offered on a weekly basis on the SoulFullHeart Experience YouTube Channel, our Facebook pages, our Soulfullheartblog.com and as an audio file on our Soundcloud channel and iTunes channel:https://soundcloud.com/soulfullheart https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast…

For the latest writings, videos, and information about SoulFullHeart events (including our monthly group transmissions), visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

For more information about 1:1 sessions with Jelelle for women and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Become a one-time or monthly donor and patron to support SoulFullHeart and our expression through videos, writings, and more! https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart

The Invisible, Imperishable Good Stuff

“In the external scheme of things, shining moments are as brief as the twinkling of an eye, yet such twinklings are what eternity is made of — moments when we human beings can say “I love you,” “I’m proud of you,” “I forgive you,” “I’m grateful for you.” That’s what eternity is made of: invisible imperishable good stuff.” – Fred Rogers

Mr. Rogers is one of those unforgettable beings in our lifetime who touched a place within us that is The Eternal. No matter what gender, race, or creed, Fred Rogers held the light of wonder, mystery, fantasy, and our heart-open reality. His love of Innocence from the heart of a child is what he will forever be known for.

It was the child in us all that he was speaking to. We could easily get caught up in watching him with our children as intently as they did. It was his genuineness and his integrity that was alien to us. The character in the movie who was tasked to cover Mr. Rogers even said, “This man cannot be real. There is a story here.”

Yet it was his desire to feel and help others to feel that made him so real. He made feeling the most essential part of our existence next to joy and imagination. His advocacy of kindness and compassion should never be forgotten.

We can carry that light he brought to the world week in and week out by being kind and compassionate to ourselves. Give space to the parts of us that feel hurt, scared, angry, anxious, depressed, disempowered, guilty, etc. They make up that Make Believe Land inside of us. That is what the puppets represented…parts of Fred Rogers.

When we begin to honestly care for these parts of us, can we genuinely bring that to the world and offer that love to others through the heart-eyes of our inner child. This is the continued work. Regain that connection to the magic and joy that has never left us but has only been sequestered. The Eternal part of us that can always be accessed by hearing “I love you”, “I am proud of you”, “I forgive you”, and “I’m grateful for you”.

In loving honor of Fred Rogers. A real hero of heart.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

A Decade Later, A Decade To Come: Healing, Integration, and Embodiment Of Your ‘Future’ Self

Completing a decade provides a powerful crossroads of what was, what Is, and what wants to Be.

I have been noticing a lot of people posting pics of themselves from a decade ago compared to today. While there are these noticeable physical differences, what is really happening is an INventory and a chronicling of where each of us has gone energetically, emotionally, and spiritually in the past decade.

While I don’t seem to have any pics from a decade ago due to a lot of movement and misplaced storage, I did feel to tap into the ‘me’ of a decade ago and feel what has shifted and what remained. Not so much a ‘self-improvement’ analysis, but more of a curiosity of things that still need my attention and heart space.

The most apparent thing to me when I feel back to those days is how fragmented and scattered I felt inside. I felt like multiple selves vying for a turn at the wheel of my destiny. A lot of frustration, depression, unfulfillment, and anxiety. I was still drinking but to a lesser degree and partaking occasionally in drug use and smoking. I was obsessed with politics and the threat of the ‘New World Order as a fascist overtaking of Liberty’ while feeling completely disconnected to Spirit and The Divine. It was very lonely and confusing time inside of me.

Ten years later I can feel myself much more unified, or becoming more unified. I have ventured inward enough to reclaim this scattered parts of me into closer proximity to each other and to this being named Gabriel. All of the reactions toward life have become more assuaged and held with care and love. I feel myself looking at the news as if I am looking at grand play curious to how it will all resolve while feeling more resolution within myself. The anxiety has lessened and been replaced by wonder.

Of course there are still threads that lie under the surface of this continued process. They are my going on places. My relationship to transparency, intimacy, leadership, romance, and my galactic amnesia. This is the INventory. The base tones of my intentions going forward. They are my daily meditations. What do I still have yet to feel and uncover to bring these more into healing and activation and less in hiding and shadow? They are my portals into the next decade.

If I were to have set intentions ten years ago, I can say I hit the mark on some but not on others. I looped on some things the last decade but made progress on others. It is seeing it holistically where compassion and motivation intersect. No judgement. Just discernment and activation. I do not want to be the same person tomorrow I was yesterday. This is a path laid with passionate self-love and not desperate self-improvement.

I recommend this exercise. It is illuminating and inspiring. If judgement comes up, then recognize that as a part of you to get to know. To become intimate with as a collaborator and not a conspirator. There is a lot to understand and feel from their point of view and it also helps to move them into the New with a different role. More of a guide. If you can feel the growth and hard-earned transformation than take the time to celebrate that and be grateful for it all.

Next you can project into the next decade and see what version of ‘You’ comes to your awareness. What would this person look and feel like if this current INventory was healed and integrated? That Self is a beacon and a guide as well. What would they have you do and feel each and everyday to embody them in those moments. Not by force but by care. It will still be challenging because that is when you know you are facing the edges of your fear and it is confronting that fear that transforms you and permits the embodiment of this future self.

As always, there is help and support along the way. I wouldn’t be here without it. So when you feel that need, seek it wherever it feels the most aligned to who you are in that moment. There is a sea of Love out there ready for your courage to take the journey even deeper.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

The Inner Family As A Tapestry Of The 3D Self

This morning tears flowed as I connected with my Inner Mother. The part of me that has been imprinted with the energy, fears, and cares of my birth mother as well as an archetypal wounded mother I referred to in a previous post as The Devouring Mother.

As with all archetypes, they are larger-than-life energies that can have our way with us unless they become more personalized and intimate. I sat down this morning to connect with my own Inner Mother named after my birth mother. As a man this can take some time as it is a bit of a dissonance relating to any feminine part, especially if it is your birth mother.

The gift in it though is a deep realization how much She has been a subtle, and not so subtle, influence in our lives. I got to feel where her deepest pains have lain and how those have been a place of my own inner conflict and turmoil. I held the space for her to express her sorrow, her fear, and her longings. It was just as much self-to-self as it was from me to my mom on a higher plane of relationship that we just cannot have consciously right now.

I felt how much she held onto and burdened herself with. How much as a boy and a young man I tried to assuage and bring some goodness to her life by doing well in school, making good choices, and keeping her as worry-free as possible unless the rebel had enough and chose otherwise. Always a push-pull to be individuated and mated to Mother at all times.

In all my time on this path I never fully went into this inner relationship. It was always external. I had processes with my Inner Child, Teenager, Sister, and Father but not in depth with Mother. This feels analogous to the level of bind that we had together. Once I drew a tighter boundary with her on the outside the more of panic mode she got on the inside.

This helped to have her collapse into my heart space once and for all. Once we both realized that she was the last inner family member I felt all my other parts come into the space and it was like a family reunion of this life wounding that could finally embark on integration. Deep tears flowed as this feeling filled my Inner Mother and my thus my body. She was accepted for all she IS, wounded or not.

This is where I realized that our 3D self is a tapestry of this inner family, all wrapped up our birth name. For me that name is Chris. He is the sum of those parts and now so much greater. I feel him ready to walk into the sunset of death and rebirth into the 4th dimension, wherever that leads him. Not an overnight journey but one that gets to be on the move now that my Inner Mother is back Home. In my heart. Where she has always wanted to belong.

Unachored, Re-membered, and ready for the Metasoul.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Healing The Shadow During The Great Revelation

We are clearly in the times of The Great Reveal.

From the impeachment hearings, to Wikileaks, to Epstein/Prince Andrew, to #MeToo, to countless other revelations and movements, the Shadow of Humanity is coming into collective consciousness and focus.

This is not about good guys vs. bad guys. Who is right and who is wrong. It is about Shadow. They have it. We have it. You have it. It is a time when that which is churning beneath the surface can’t help itself to come out. It needs to in order to heal this whole drama we have co-created for ourselves.

This is what The Apocalypse is really about. It is the exposure and burning away of that which is not Real and not Love. Not Real Love. The only judgement that will come of it is the way we relate to it. The Great Judger lies within. How we feel and react about what is coming to light is an indicator of how we are relating to our own shadow.

If Love is to be birthed from these epic times, it must be applied to all that we are going to witness. That compassion comes from how we ultimately feel about our own Darkness. I have become acutely aware of the depths of my own shadow and darkness.

It is not fun, but it is there. I have to be willing to take responsibility for it, find my compassion for it, and transmute it into Love and Empowerment. Not Shame and Rage. This only brings each of us into the well of what is called Hell.

This Shadow Darkness is not a bad thing. It is a harbinger of Light. It can be felt in many forms inside of you from anger, to depression, to anxiety, to a neutral flatness even. It is anything you intuitively feel is NOT love. This is what is coming to you to be held and felt.

It sounds like a zombie movie or something, but it is really Love making its way. How you process that is how this Love can come to do Good in the world. It can transform more than your 3D self feels it can actually affect.

Now it is a death and rebirth cycle, so don’t expect that there will be no hard choices to make or things to feel and remember. But you can bring compassion to the process that helps to birth the Love Baby into your heart and body, personally and collectively.

We are here to serve this birthing both within ourselves and with others. This is why we elected to be here at this time. This both a time of Revelation and Transformation. We get to choose the outcome of this Great Drama. With Love or with Fear.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

The Devouring Mother And The Healing Of The Wounded Masculine

Over the past couple of days I have been digging deep into my fear of intimacy. This was brought up by a recent situation with my beloveds where I was not forthcoming with details that I choose to keep private for now. The theme was about not trusting those that care deeply about me and are close to me. A projection of rejection and maybe even judgement on top of a rebellious undercurrent to feel myself as independent and sovereign.

As deep hurt was expressed by my push away and hiding, I could feel the walls harden around my heart. Feeling a need to not go into what used to be shame spirals. I could not feel myself as separate from it. I was The Wall. Even a voicing of a need to possibly not being a part of community in order to feel my sovereignty. A deep rebellion wanting to have its way.

The rest of the day I needed to feel my push away. This need for my masculine to seek independence from the feminine, albeit invulnerably. This voice needed to have its say. Its resistance. But as I felt more through the night, I knew this was not fully me. Not the totality of my being. As a facilitator, I knew that there is so much more to this, but I had stumbled on something quite powerful and inevitably archetypal.

Later, I heard the term “Devouring Mother” as an feminine archetype. It exploded a whole “new” awareness inside of me. I had recently just drew a further boundary with my biological mother right after a profound session about her very influence on me. As I released that dynamic even further it allowed this archetypal energy to flood my psyche subconsciously. I began to feel more distant and less open to intimate gatherings and connection. The sleeping giant of my repressed masculine was waking, as well as his relationship to the feminine via ‘Mother’.

When being given a choice to go against that communal feminine intimacy I fused to this wounded masculine need to rebel and push away. This is when I could feel the projection of the ‘Devouring Mother’ onto my beloveds. How can Sovereignty live side by side with Intimacy? This is what I wrote about earlier in a recent post about the inherent insanity of a man’s need to individuate from Mom while at the same time returning the bosom of The Mother at the same time. It is fucking maddening!

What I could feel was how my Inner Protector created a wall around this ‘Independence’ from Mom. Fuck all that would try and ‘take’ that from him after just feeling like he gained it. I put all those words in quotes because it is all a dynamic happening within and being projected out. I, Gabriel, could only fuse to the reaction to the projection. I got lost in what Jung called a Constellation. A watershed of unconscious and subconscious reaction.

In this greater understanding of this conflict between Mom and uninitiated son, I could feel how it is all being played out on the inside. The ‘Devouring Mother’ IS my Inner Mother. An inherited version of her inside of me. By taking her out of the Realm of Archetype and placing her as a part of me, I can begin to have a relationship to her that isn’t so freakin’ massive. I get to feel her needs and her fears of intimacy and of losing me as a validation of her own reason to Be. She is another version of the wounded feminine within the masculine that has great importance for us all as men on this spiritual quest and desire for empowerment, joy, liberation, and union.

For me it is a HUGE revelation and one that is just a starting point on this journey of selves-discovery that leads to Self-realization. We cannot ignore the depths to which our mothers play in our male psyche and emotional body. This internalized aspect of her leads us to a more authentic version of our masculinity, our relationship to intimacy with Other, and the Divine Mother Herself.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Feeling Your Emotions & Traumas, Not Bypassing Them: SoulFullHeart Experience Podcast #2 (Video & Audio)

Here it is! Our second SoulFullHeart Experience Podcast. Raphael AwenGabriel Heartman and I could have gone on for a LONG time on this topic as it is one very near and dear to our hearts for many years now. We talk about the importance of feeling your emotions and traumas in order to transmute them with parts of you that experience them…rather than bypassing or transcending them. This is a passionate topic for us and a very timely one as so many souls are becoming more aware of this.

We each share about personal traumas that we have transmuted through connecting with parts of ourselves and what we have witnessed/experienced in sessions as well with others. Although there can be fears and concerns by the Inner Protector esp. to ‘go into’ the sometimes very deep and intense feeling spaces that are holding these traumas in stuck loops….we have found that it is ALWAYS worth it to go into it with the part of you (or Metasoul aspect) that is feeling it as that is what actually transmutes it.

You can listen to the audio version of this podcast wherever you want on our soundcloud account…become a subscriber and you’ll be current with all of our weekly Podcasts! https://soundcloud.com/soulfullheart

Here is more of the description:

In this second episode of our weekly SoulFullHeart Experience Podcast, SoulFullHeart Facilitators Raphael and Jelelle Awen and Gabriel Heartman talk about the importance of feeling your emotions and dropping into your emotional body as it allows the digestion of traumatic experiences with the parts of you that experienced them. Feeling your traumas and emotional reactions to them, rather than bypassing them, actually raises your vibrational frequency as stuck traumas densify your emotional body, chakras, and even physical body.

They all share about how working with parts of yourself during 1:1 sessions with a SoulFullHeart Facilitator creates a safe space where you can feel these traumas again with the parts of you who are living them out over and over….and actually transmute them. Raphael and Gabriel share about specific traumas that they have felt and overcome due to being open to feeling and healing them with parts of themselves, rather than bypassing or transcending them with spiritual attainments, analyzation/mentalizing, etc.

This SoulFullHeart Experience Podcast is offered as a bridge to those of you who may not be familiar with the SoulFullHeart process or us as Facilitators of it. And, those of you who are aware of our work and even connected to us through sessions, may find value in the way that we present the importance of emotional body healing in this video. These Podcasts are offered on a weekly basis on the SoulFullHeart Experience YouTube Channel, our Facebook pages, our Soulfullheartblog.com and as an audio file on our Soundcloud channel and many others: https://soundcloud.com/soulfullheart.

 

11/11: What Do You Declare As You Enter Into The New?

Happy 11/11 Day!

This feels like a very significant portal day on so many levels. I guess I feel each one is significant depending on what we choose to put into it. Our intention sets the stage. Sets the wheels in motion on the other side.

One thing is for sure, what has not served us before will certainly not serve us going forward. So this is a day to decide what must be left on this side of border. When you enter another country, you have to declare what you are bringing with you. What have you packed with you that you are claiming as you enter?

What you bring emotionally/energetically into the New, can easily become the Old again as it attracts that dynamic, whether it is fear, scarcity, unworth, despair, or anxiety. You can intend on leaving it behind with daily prayer and mantra. That helps to keep mindful of what you DO want and what you DON’T.

But there is also a part of you that holds that energy and needs more than mindfulness. It needs heart presence. It wants to feel connection and companionship. It needs to feel a relationship more than just awareness. So what you can leave at the border is the looping and declare your healing. Once and for all.

This is a Reclamation Day. A Phoenix Rising Day. A Remembrance Of What And Who You Really Are Day. It is the deeper claim of healing, of journey, and intention. As with all growth, there are times when you must let go of all that has weighed you down and prevented your arrival at the Gates of Glory. Today you have only a small backpack or briefcase.

What will you take with you?

What do you intend on leaving behind?

What do you declare as you cross this threshold into a higher timeline?

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.