Emotionally Digesting Disclosure: Day 22: 33 Days Metamorphosis W/Jelelle and Raphael Awen (Video)

By Jelelle Awen

In today’s video, Day 22 of this 33 Day Metamorphosis series, my mate Raphael joins me to talk about the disclosure process that is happening on a collective level. The disclosure process is revealing the ‘hidden’ powers that have run the government and other societal systems more and more lately. Disclosure also has to do with Star Being/ET interactions that are more malevolent based and friendly alliances as well.

Emotional digestion of disclosure is feeling how parts of us react to all this information and triggers that come up with the transitions happening. We also talk about balance around taking in this information.

Thank you for joining me on this twenty second day of 33….as we move into Metamorphosis energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

You are invited to share comments on your experiences connected to this series and questions too on facebook, the blog athttps://soulfullheartblog.com, and on the SFH Experience Youtube channel for which I will respond and offer reflections/guidance.

Donations are so appreciated and received with gratitude as an energy exchange in the offering of this series for free through paypal: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations or the SoulFullHeart Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart

Go here to view the playlist listing all of the videos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7Pj3hPLsv0&list=PLNmrHdaQSAvIkhNtLWKs-osheX1SoBFpI

 

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Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, Divine Feminine and Masculine, emotional body integration through parts work, quantum healing through Metasoul Aspect connection, sacred union, light body transformation, and much more!

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions and a free intro session, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

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Activating Your Ascension Chakras: Day 21: 33 Days Metamorphosis W/Jelelle Awen (Video)

By Jelelle Awen

In today’s video, Day 21 of this 33 Day Metamorphosis series, I talk about the codes/information/visions/messages/upgrades that are available through ascension energies of love and photonic light. An important aspect of opening up to these codes is to activate your ascension chakras. I offer a model here which I read about from spiritual teacher Diana Cooper and why it is important to connect with them.

I then lead you in a guided meditation to connect with Divine Feminine energies in Sophia and Divine Masculine energies through Archangel Metatron. You then connect with all of your ascension chakras, one at a time, starting with the Stellar Gateway or ‘personal sun chakra’ and moving all the way down to the earth chakra, two feel below your physical feet. You then run energy up and down in a channel flow which helps you connect to the cosmic energies while remaining grounded to Gaia.

Thank you for joining me on this twenty first day of 33….as we move into Metamorphosis energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

Go here to view the playlist listing all of the videos:https://www.youtube.com/watch…

Here are other guided meditations by me, including another one activating the ascension chakras and connecting with your Higher Self: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvL3_HIusq0GwJO4ziwlmioz

You are invited to share comments on your experiences connected to this series and questions too on facebook, the blog athttps://soulfullheartblog.com, and on the SFH Experience Youtube channel for which I will respond and offer reflections/guidance.

Donations are so appreciated and received with gratitude as an energy exchange in the offering of this series for free through paypal: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations or the SoulFullHeart Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart

~

 

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, Divine Feminine and Masculine, emotional body integration through parts work, quantum healing through Metasoul Aspect connection, sacred union, light body transformation, and much more!

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions and a free intro session, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Lone Wolf Phase, Drawing Soul Family – Day 20: 33 Days Metamorphosis W/Jelelle Awen (Video)

By Jelelle Awen

In today’s video, Day 20 of this 33 Day Metamorphosis series, I talk about healing abandonment wounding, conscious community, moving out of the lone wolf phase, and drawing your soul and star family. Conscious community is the reality that I have lived in for many years now and it is precious to me to offer and invite others to feel what this means for them as well. I talk about the SoulFullHeart group session experience that is a two day process group with energy healing here monthly in Puerto Vallarta, which I co-led with Raphael after filming this video.

I talk about how as we are being invited to move into soul family connections and conscious community and what comes up with this is often our ‘mixed bag’ birth family experience. Most of us were the ‘black sheep’ of our families and just felt like we didn’t fit in or were resonant with family values around spirituality, religion, etc. Parts of us can just feel like we ‘don’t belong’ in our families and with friends as well. This is the place to go to and feel in order to open up to soul family and very resonant ground with other people. We need to feel what wasn’t resonant to us and parts of us and validate it. You can draw your soul tribe as you draw your tribe from within, your heart draws your parts out as your 5D self broadcasts openness and compassion to feel those painful scenes from childhood and teenagehood of not belonging.

The other aspect that impacts our capacity to draw and let in soul family connections is abandonment wounding. One level comes from parts feeling like “I don’t belong in this family”, this if often from our 3D Inner Child and Inner Teenager. And the other level comes from being disconnected from our star family, which needed to happen in order to fully come into 3D life here. Although we chose it on a soul level, parts of us feel this disconnection deeply, especially what we call our Star Seed Child. This is the magical child that comes from the stars, yet it feels really lost and really abandoned until being connected to.

Here is a writing about the lone wolf phase and moving out of it:http://in5d.com/is-it-time-to-stop-being-the-lone-wolf-in-…/

Here is a writing about conscious community: https://soulfullheartblog.com/…/coming-together-living-in-…/

Thank you for joining me on this twentieth day of 33….as we move into Metamorphosis energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

Go here to view the playlist listing all of the videos:https://www.youtube.com/watch

You are invited to share comments on your experiences connected to this series and questions too on facebook, the blog athttps://soulfullheartblog.com, and on the SFH Experience Youtube channel for which I will respond and offer reflections/guidance.

 

~

 

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, Divine Feminine and Masculine, emotional body integration through parts work, quantum healing through Metasoul Aspect connection, sacred union, light body transformation, and much more!

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions and a free intro session, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Practical Ascension Vlog Series: Social Area Personal Process Sharings

by Kalayna Colibri and Gabriel Heartman

In this second video on the social area of life, SoulFullHeart Teachers, Facilitators and Sacred Union mates, Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri, offer their unique perspective that is based on their own personal processes in this area. They share about the ways in which parts work through SoulFullHeart helped them access and feel their pain and enter into territory of deep healing and awakening. They share about the process of setting boundaries with others and how challenging this can be, especially with birth family.

This can be a tricky ground to navigate and walk out, especially while there are many binds to still be illuminated in the relationship between yourself and others. Having the language and feeling sense of ‘parts of you’ is essential for helping you feel and move through the polarities inside of you in relationship to these different relationships and the many dynamics alive inside of them. Being able to let go of the social connections that do not match or move with you as you continue your Ascension journey is essential for being able to then draw and be in a relationship with soul family and conscious community.
As you continue your Ascension journey of healing and awakening, the social area of life can be one of the biggest, most powerful anchors into 3D reality as parts of you cling to these different relationships that aren’t growing and awakening with you. The journey through this desert land is worth it for the gifts of healing and blooming self love that come out of it, along with the possibility of drawing soul family connections… which it is necessary to make room for inside of you and inside of your life.

If you have any questions or comments, you can leave them in the comment thread on Youtube or find us on Facebook (just look for Kalayna Colibri and/or Gabriel Heartman and/or SoulFullHeart Way Of Life!). You can also email soulfullhearts@gmail.com.

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Donations are so appreciated and received with gratitude as an energy exchange in the offering of this series for free through paypal: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations or the SoulFullHeart Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  

Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

 

Healing Toward Soul Family Relationships In The New Year

5dsoull

So much to let in on this post-Christmas day. It can be so easy for a part of us to get “back on the horse” of our daily lives and go through the motions of our routines and ‘to do’ list. When in reality so much happened! The words that were said or hadn’t been said. The moments of joy or frustration. The pings of loneliness or the wealth of good company. When we enter these celebrations, especially one as energy packed as Christmas, there is a lot that happens unconsciously that can leave us an energetic, unconscious hangover.

I was so fortunate to be in a time/space continuum yesterday that was light years ahead of what I used to inhabit. Having that multidimensional access to my past that still lives on in some echo of my emotional body, I could almost feel that ‘past’ in the Now and get a huge reflection of what parts of me were really feeling during those times. For me it was the consumption of a lot of alcohol, meat, and sweets, as well as taking in all sorts of dissonant vibrations that I wasn’t totally aware of inside myself.

Once I became aware of what was going on with parts of myself through conscious connection via journaling and meditation, there were a mountain of reactions happening inside that had no place to go. No depository of heart that felt safe enough to have it land in. Once I found that source inside myself through much reflection by my facilitators, Raphael and Jelelle, I could hold those with much compassion and find the courage to bring more truth and draw tighter boundaries.

These led to taking communicative space from my family that allowed me to really feel me. What was authentically me and what was a role I was playing to fit into the cast of characters that I did have much love for. But there came a moment in which the energetic and path differences between us became too great and I said a temporal goodbye until such time life found us in similar desires for deep healing and soul purpose.

This allowed for deep healing for my parts as well as advocating for something new and more aligned to what my soul and heart needed to grow and embody. No longer would I accept anything less than what I felt I needed and deserved as both a heart and a soul. I could feel the love for my birth family and wished them all well in there lives and journeys. They have an open invitation to the way of life that has brought me to places inside myself I can only have dreamed of not that long ago.
I felt the space between us and honored all of it. It was a deep reflection of what it may even feel like even just a short year from now with sights on expanded community, passion purpose, and geography. This is a result of deep healing and deep desire for more. I invite all of you to feel your deepest desires and calling for this next year and make it a mantra to not allow yourself, and your parts, to accept anything less than the love that you ARE no matter who it is you are in relationship to.

Your choices are the rudders to new worlds of unfathomable adventure, beauty, and purpose. Each one sends ripples into your YOUniverse and alters the very fabric of it. SoulFullHeart is here to guide you along those choice points with your sovereignty fully in tact as it can never be taken from you. Make this coming year, and more importantly this coming moment, the most real of them all.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Fast Track To Your Mystery

4

Staring at the edge of infinitum. A beautiful tapestry of shadow and light. There is a din of music, clanking dishes, and unrecognizable conversation. The magic of our being is on full display and it has been normalized by parts of us even in its exquisiteness.  It can be almost too much to bear the burden of its beauty. We can see a reflection or an object. In feeling separate from our Glory, we snap a picture of it so we can remind ourselves that we saw our Self again. “Whoa! There I am again! Get a picture so I don’t forget!”

I can feel that in this moment. It is a tender feeling that a part of me needed that reminder. In the moment of the experience there was a feeling of just being in it. Basking in it. Letting it in. A moment of reverence for it and me. Both. The “wow” that takes your breathe away is the one that is ultimately from you to you, yet we haven’t quite fully been able to let that in in its totality. It is as if we might implode from the possibility of being that amazing. So we take it in the best way we can in that moment. And lasso it with a frame.

It is the healing of all the ways in which we have not been able to see ourselves as unique, special, powerful, and beautiful that leads us to that moment of reconciling what have put outside of us as what IS us. If you have been to an eye examination, the doctor puts a contraption in front of you that you look into. They flip different lenses and turn certain knobs and check to see which one gives you the best clarity. In a way, that is what feeling our parts is like, as each provides a certain lens or filter upon the world. It is not just a mental perspective, but an emotional relationship that alters how we experience our reality before us and within us. Each part with a different focal point and blind spot that can be polar opposites and in conflict. They are 3D parts such as protector, punisher, inner teenager, inner mother/father, and inner child as well as 4D gatekeeper and metasoul lives that span timelines and dimensions. 

So while there is a you that can see yourself in the sunset, another part can be diffusing the visceral experience of that for its own reasons. A fear, an unworthiness, an unbelievability. Feeling those parts of you in tender embrace while the Love that IS you is shining upon you is the heart-lens shift that brings the tears of release and integration. Of shedding an old consciousness about yourself into a new dawn of what you were truly meant to feel, experience and share.

I AM the sun, the clouds, the water, and the painted hues of light…as are You. We get to experience it together in the same room of this spaceless and timeless Now. Through the healing of our own personal shadowland do we see the light that cast it. It is through those moments we raise UP in our vibration that carries us into our new territory of healing and experience. We get to do it together and not alone. We get to do it in community and not isolation. We get to expedite the time it would have normally taken and fast-track ourselves into this glorious infinitum. Healing requires relationship, from within and with other. This is part of what you are here to do. The rest is an unfolding beautiful mystery.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Redefining Family From The Heart Up

me and Shai

Today is the day that my daughter, Shai, comes to join us in SoulFullHeart community.  It is almost surreal, to be honest, even though she was here in February and we have been in contact quite a bit.  It is surreal because it will be her coming in her full authority and self-choice to be a part of this healing path and community.  Admittedly, she knows all of us and that makes it an easier choice but this was not always the case.

When we all decided to leave Canada nearly 3 years ago, Shai was firmly planted in her Vancouver world.  She had no desire to join us and go into the healing journey.  She was in a construction phase.  A time to individuate herself from us.  It is actually the way it really needs to be for someone in their late teens.  The difference is that we would not be in contact because the energy of our worlds would be so different and nearly impossible to relate to.  We both needed to go all into our worlds and lives and trust that if we were meant to be in healing and community together we would.  It was a very difficult process to be with as it is so not the norm in terms what is “normal” from our societal and familial conditioning.

My inner Dad had so many concerns and judgments about “leaving her behind”.  All the voices of my personal family and the collective family.  It was a codependency to self-image and also soul legacies of abandoning and being abandoned.  This provided a HUGE growth ground for both us.  She learned to navigate life on her own terms and being with her own challenges.  I got to feel very wounded aspects of myself that would be medicated with care-taking.  I got to feel myself as “not Dad”, but as a man on a journey to self-discovery.

Through our space apart we eventually got back in touch with each other sometime last year, but I couldn’t tell you how.  If we are all meant to be together in a soul family, the hows and whens just seem to arise.  We had touching and tear-laden conversations of reconnection and she began a process with Kalayna as she had been feeling a fairly empty emotional and spiritual life in Canada.  Being raised in SoulFullHeart like she was, makes it hard to really relate to a world that has a hard time feeling its own emotions, and she admitted it was hard for her to feel hers.

She eventually began to feel parts and was opening up a whole new world inside her that was not based on pleasing Mom or Dad, but about her own growth and bigness. Now, there are undoubtedly mom and dad pieces that we will be feeling together, but this is something she is taking on in  her own right.  It is a truly remarkable choice for someone at her age of 22.  She is a leader of a generation, along with Kalayna, and that is such a gift to us and the world.

Now we get to reinvent ourselves as father and adult daughter.  We get to heal the old dynamic to make way for a new more genuine one that is between two souls on a path together.  It is about teacher/student (of which she will be my teacher on many occasions), being mirrors to each other, and being in close intimacy as two human beings in reverence and soul bond.  We get to explore metasoul places together and I get to be a recipient of all her gifts, and she mine.  None of these were possible in the old ground as we were both capped in roles that we placed on each other.

This is a grand experiment as she will be reunited with her birth mother and father in a totally new dimension of experience.  Where does this happen on this planet?  It is so damn compelling and one that I am really excited to see where it leads.  There will be much to feel between us and that is what we are ready for.  Shai represents a new start for the SoulFullHeart community even as it too is all unknown how it will all develop. This is about redefining family from the heart up.   This a template for what could be for all birth families as each individual finds their own way and trusts the bond that exists to bring each back into more authentic heart and soul space if that is what is meant to be.

Much more to come in this new chapter of SoulFullHeart! Stay heart tuned.

If transformative healing and soul family resonates with you, I invite you to check out our website and sessions page to learn more.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

 

 

 

Moving Beyond Sticky Binds To Soul Bonds In Relationships With Self, Family, And Mates

By Jelelle Awen

 

 

Entering into relationship is to walk through a doorway offering so many possibilities and opportunities for growth. Relationship with self, relationship with a mate, relationship with soul family, relationship with guides and angels and star family…..Relationship has been my most important teacher and I its constant student, always learning and growing in response to the invitation of into-me-I-see that it offers. Exploration of relationship is the exploration of conscious duality  for which we hold a consciousness of being separate and distinctive WHILE we feel that we are also One.

In fourth dimensional consciousness, relationship becomes the ALL important ground for exploration….not just ANY relationships or those that you inherited when you were born or through going to school or through duty and obligation or you drew through personality or persona expressions. But you begin to draw and be drawn to relationships that your SOUL is choosing more and more because of the reflection they offer of YOU, what you can see of yourself and feel of yourself as offered by that person. Your soul chooses consciously; your 3D self can think it has NO choice. Your soul chooses growth; your 3D self wants comfort. Your soul chooses to experience joy; your 3D self will settle for suffering.

The transition from 3D to 4D within the ground of relationships offers so much growth! It can be sticky as the clings and binds are felt, tested, let go of. It can be VERY painful as the soul bravely sees that it is NEVER a victim to any relationship that is is in. The soul accepts ALL relationships as being formed from the choice to experience them or not, in every moment this choice is made, whether consciously or not. The soul spurs on the desire for change, for transformation, for NEW beginnings and holds the fear of the unknown with grace and trust. The soul holds heart space for the aspects of you that need to be felt in their fear, anxiety, depression….ALL are responded to within relationship with you and not resisted or judged as wrong.

The intense energies of PURE love that are washing down on us and the shifts in the consciousness frequency that is available to us as a species to help us ascend ARE impacting our relationships of all kinds. These waves act as water to push up the oil of our woundings and, yet, also our deeper heart and soul truths. The soul cannot live in inauthenticity for long especially with the help of these love waves. The soul WANTS more love, not to settle for crumbs, it wants the full MEAL deal in all areas of relationships in our lives.

These PURE love waves are reminding us of our relationship with Divine Source AND our origins as a fractal from Divine Source. It is a reminder that we ARE love ultimately and all of our relationships can reflect this love that we ARE. If your relationships are not reflecting this but are rather reflecting unworthiness, disconnect, conflict, tension….this can be a sacred and necessary phase for your growth. Yet, also, you can move out of this phase if it feels like it is time to do so. It feels like more and more souls will be choosing to complete and move on from relationships that do not deeply nourish their souls and reflect their growing self worth and embodiment of their soul-higher self expression and healing heart.

The most important relationship, of course, is with yourself and the energies for which you hold and respond to yourself and all aspects of yourself. This can be challenging with unfelt textures and feelings in the 3D emotional pain body, subconsciously buried, that are wanting and needing to be felt, healed, and integrated. The self to self LOVE relationship invites these aspects into reality and does NOT deny them even if there is strong soul access to higher frequencies of love and light. What you resist persists anyway and the emotional pain will be there, waiting, until it is responded to with love. You cannot really avoid or bypass it. And, in the meantime, your outer relationships will probably reflect this unfelt pain in same way or form.

In SoulFullHeart, we offer a process, path, way of life, for which digestion, healing, and feeling of these pain body aspects is consciously held within relationship with self, within community, and with your facilitator during sessions. We also weave in karmic and soul healing through portal opening experiences during meditation to discover, feel and heal the binds from other lifetimes with self and with others (especially soul mate romances!) This conscious holding and response path seems to integrate the soul frequencies beautifully with the healing heart tones, creating an unique and beautiful sacred human arising! Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more about a free intro session.

Relationships are KEY in ascension. Being unconscious about them (again with self AND with others) does impact your capacity and ability to experience higher vibrational frequencies. It does impact your experiences of reality. And, beyond that, SO MUCH nourishment and love is there, just waiting, within the possibility dynamics of any relationship based in the soul and healing heart!

To read more about the 3D, 4D, and 5D self related to relationships, I recommend this article that I wrote: https://soulfullheartblog.com/2016/12/23/navigating-relationships-within-transition-from-3d-to-5d-consciousness/

Jelelle Awen is an ascending teacher into 5D consciousness, Divine guide-scribe, and co-creator/teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration.

 

To Those I Share Love With

by Leena Colibri

soul-union

We build altogether,
stacking our hearts onto one another’s.
Our lives’ creations spring forth
from those effortless moments
of synchronicity
and conscious collaboration.

We bring it all to the foreground of life’s playing fields,
releasing our winged hearts
to soar high above where it all once fell
at the feet
of misappropriated power.

Together we stand within
the tall forests of growth
inside the long-standing biospheres
of the internal.

Together we find those places of dancing,
fire and fun,
that take place inside all
communal, unbreakable
unbound bonds
of the eternal.

Love dances on the wingtips
of the consequently unshackled,
freely feeling,
heart-clasping dancer-feelers
of its most precious creations yet,
and feeds the honouring
of all that needs now be remembered,
revered,
blessed once more
and forever over again.

 

~~~

Leena Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, writer and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

Letting Go With Love: Healing Codependency In Our Relationships

letting-go-of-a-relationshipFamily, friends, and lovers. These are our most intimate connections. Some of us have a multitude of them. Some of us, just a few. What really matters is the quality and kind of connection we have with them. In my “past” life, I had my family, both nuclear and extended, several friends, and a few lovers (not at once, mind you). As I went through my SoulFullHeart process, I began to feel the real inadequacies and co-dependencies within these relationships. Both for myself and for them as well. Confronting these emotional realities consciously, I began to realize that I could not continue holding on to a false relationship. A false relationship to me is one where the transaction is between two false selves feeding off each other for their own emotional survival.

Cords needed to be “severed” in the name of love for myself and for them. I put severed in quotes because the word has a connotation of forever. I do not desire to be apart forever. Just until we both can truly see and feel each other on a ground that is level enough to transact a deeper and non-codependent connection. One that is based on willing to feel ourselves as an assortment of wounded subconscious parts and a desire to feel our separation from and ache for the Divine.

This connection may or may not ever happen in my previous relationships. I pray that it does. But if it does not, I do not hold myself or them in contempt. It is not about being stubborn or defensive as it is about holding a value system that is just plain different. We may just be cut from a different cloth and there is no love lost in that. I say that because that is what I really wanted to get at. “Loss of love” is not possible in my experience of it. Love exists always and cannot be destroyed or lost. I have boundaries and conditions, yes. But I also have love. A love that is far greater and real than the “love” our false selves have chosen to agree to in our day-to-day lives. This love is not nicey nice. It is not just light and airy. It is real. It is sticky. It is honest and it is painful. It is humbling and forgiving. It is ecstasy and celebration. It is what we want it to be and it is what we don’t.

I have love for those who have been in my life and I always will. I do because they are a mirror unto myself, and I a mirror unto them. Each one of them has enriched my life for the better. Each one taught me more about myself than I could have alone. I experienced my parts in relationship to them. True, they were formed because of my experience with some of them, but they are also healed because of my experiences with them as well. They were not in my life if they did not have something to offer me, and I them. We drew each other for a purpose, whether for the short term or the long.

Recently, I said good-bye, at least for the short term, to a mate with whom I had become co-dependent. Whenever I write or hear the word ‘codependent’, a part of me feels like it cheapens the experience we had together. It unequivocally does not. It gave us both a vantage point from which to see and feel ourselves more consciously than we would have otherwise. A part of me was dependent on feeling wanted and desired. Dependent on being looked up to and adored. Dependent on being depended upon. It is hard for this part to admit that, let alone let go of.

The subtleties of co-dependence can be very difficult for us to be conscious of. It takes others outside ourselves, such as an SFH facilitator, to be a witness to them and then provide an objective mirror of us to see it. It can be dismissed at first, many times with fierce anger, like a lion protecting her cubs. But over time you see it, then you feel it. It can’t be ignored if you truly want to heal and grow.

After saying good-bye, I could feel a part of me needing to know how she was, what she was feeling, what she was doing. I held that part by feeling his feelings and journaling with him. I helped him to surrender into trust and faith in the Divine Mother. “You mustn’t worry about her, my love,” the Mother tells me. “She is held by me. You can let go. She will not fall.” This part of me struggled, but it lessened each day.

What happens next is unknown. I still feel my former mate and the others in my heart. I pray that they experience what they need to for more growth and arising bigness. I hold the possibility that we will see each other again through different lenses that reflect our truer, bigger selves.

As for me, I continue to lean into the Divine. A new frontier awaits: one that holds an expanding SoulFullHeart Way Of Life Society. One where I, too, have experiences that support my growth and bigness as a leader, a teacher, a healer, a friend, and a lover.

Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more information about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and to find out about our new life assessment session offered over in person or over the phone.