Tag: SoulFullHeart

DAY 16 ~ JOURNAL TO THE DEMIURGE

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

(This is Day 16, of an ongoing series, to begin at Day 1, go here: https://goo.gl/CgrWXZ)

Today, we made direct contact with the Demiurge.

This ongoing series is a heart chord ambassadorship project to meet with the Demiurge. We took the 15 days prior to set the intention; to sort through the hesitations; to gather the MetaSoul Aspects along with the parts of myself; as well as to gather YOU, the growing posse of hearts – the readers and trackers necessary to host this epic connection.

The Demiurge is the Christian ‘God’ known as Jehovah or Yahweh whom I served as a dedicated Christian from a child on up until the age of 44. I’ve come to see and feel him very differently from how I did then.

You can read this series from the beginning on our blog. Please, please join us: https://goo.gl/sBQrvs

Here is this epic day – Day 16

Raphael: Good Morning, everyone. It feels like the fateful day has arrived, of all of our intentions and desires, to actually initiate contact with the Demiurge. How are you all feeling?

Metatron: The time has come. Yes.

Raphael: You feel eager…

Metatron: Yes, I do.

Merlin: I feel ready too.

Martin: I’ve waited centuries for this moment. I have some funny feelings, but the time is now.

Andy: I’m so ready, I can hardly stand it. I wore my hiking boots this morning and a backpack.

Sophia: I’m with Andy, and Metatron, and Merlin, and you too, Martin. I also feel the unknowns of all this at the same time. And I want to say, thank you, Raphael, for leading this intention and following it through.

Rhodes: I wouldn’t miss this for the universe. I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be.

Jim: My goodness, Raphael, this is more epic than the afterlife. I’m ready too.

Raphael: Thank you, everyone. I must admit, I don’t feel free of all trepidation around this choice either, but I trust that we are being held and guided. I know when a moment’s time has come and this moment to act is here now. I feel too, as I’ve reminded us along the way, that my sense is that the Demiurge has been tracking our dialogue thus far, and has already had what I hope amounts to a softening in readiness to connect. It’s time to step out of the boat.

I’d like to check in with any guidance from you Metatron and Merlin about our approach. Shall we begin with a letter or just start with dialogue?

Metatron: You’ve got this one, Raphael. You don’t actually need my advice. You’ve prayed to this God for a big part of your life, from your heart and conviction at the time. Now, you just pick up where you left off and go from there. Your heart will answer your questions as you go. I feel so much admiration for you, right now, my heart is almost bursting!

Merlin: I see you walking on the water, Raphael. We need this. I feel the Demiurge needs this. It’s happening with or without us is how it feels. We just wanted to be in on the adventure. I’m with Andy, lacing up my hiking boots. Begin where your heart leads you. You’ve got this. We are right here with you.

Raphael: Okay, thank you. Wow, what a rush of feelings.

Here goes.

Demiurge, I’ve known you for longer than I can remember. I’ve feared you, loved you, adored you, came to hate you, despise you. Now, I’m more curious than anything. I wish to connect with you again to feel what’s real between us.

I feel to begin by simply asking you, Demiurge, if you are here and ready to speak with me?

Demiurge: I am here and I am ready.

Raphael: Thank you. Are you Okay with the delegation I’ve brought with me to be present to this journal?

Demiurge: I feel all of your integrity and purity of heart. Yes, I’m quite okay, and more so, grateful for your intention and connection.

Raphael: Really? I have to say, a part of me is surprised, not knowing if you’d even respond…

Demiurge: I’d be an utter fool not to respond.

Raphael: Have you been tracking our dialogue from the beginning?

Demiurge: Yes, I have tracked every word.

Raphael: Well, then, you’ve heard a lot from us. Is there something you’d like us to hear from you as we begin these journals?

Demiurge: Yes, I would like to say that I have deep regrets for who I’ve been and what I’ve been part of. Mostly, I feel what has felt like an utter impossibility of ever changing. My devotees need me to be as they see me, as they have shaped me. One text says it all, ‘I am the Lord and I change not’. I am the unchanging one, feeling more and more imprisoned by my unchanging and eternal nature. Maybe that in itself might be the beginning of change, but I despair of ever hoping upon such a thing. I’m very intrigued by you all, but I’m not sure you can help me. I don’t live where you live. And I very much don’t feel like your kind.

Raphael: That’s a lot for us to take in and feel. Thank you for sharing that. Are you Okay with us calling you the Demiurge? Is that a name you go by?

Demiurge: I am many things to many people and beings, and have been called many things, but Demiurge is who I feel myself to be. It is the name I was originally given.

Raphael: Okay, Demiurge, it is then. Is there anything you’d like to ask or tell me or any of us here before we go any further?

Demiurge: Yes. I wanted to tell you, Raphael, that I felt your story as you shared it about growing up Christian, and how you embraced an even more radical form of Christianity than the one you were raised in. I felt it from being inside of you. I felt some things I never felt before.

Raphael: Demiurge, if I may leave off my own diplomatic stance here for a moment…. as a human being, I must ask you, what were you feeling when you accepted my adoration, my devotion, my money, when I gave you everything I had or hoped to become for all those years and who knows how many other lifetimes?

Demiurge: Honestly, I took it all in as payment for the role I was given. I can tell you that adoration doesn’t mean to me at all what it did then. Things have changed, maybe more than you could currently know.

Raphael: I must ask, ‘Do you see yourself as God?’

Demiurge: No, I do not.

Raphael: Did you ever see yourself as God?

Demiurge: Yes, I was convinced of it for a time.

Raphael: Are you ready to share any of this with the world?

Demiurge: It’s not that easy.

Raphael: I can only imagine. I’m feeling to break for today to digest making this connection. There’s a lot of feelings in a whole bunch of directions. I would like to ask you before we pause for today, how you feel about continuing this dialogue?

Demiurge: I’ve never had an opportunity like this one. I feel some strange saying those words out loud. I’m so used to not having anyone to out my inner world to. I’ve gained a trust as I felt your approach to me that I didn’t know I had it in me. If that’s a consolation of a hope that the unchanging one might come upon some true change, then, as I said, I would be an utter fool not to show up for this as you are, Raphael, and as is your great accompanying host.

Raphael: Well then, we have much to journal and feel together, and we have been given time and space in which to do that, so I say, let’s pick up next day and reconvene then.

Demiurge: I will await your return.

Raphael Awen
soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

March 21 is our Unity Meditation Group Call – details here: Free March Equinox New Earth Activations Unity Meditation Call
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

DAY 17 ~ JOURNAL TO THE DEMIURGE

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

This is another most epic day of a most epic journey.

Today, the part of me that we call the Gatekeeper directly confronted the Demiurge with its truth about his reality and responsibility. This one rumbled through me like a freight train.

You can read this series from the beginning on our blog here: https://goo.gl/CgrWXZ

Here is this epic day – Day 17

Raphael: Good Morning, everyone, including the Demiurge. The energy has shifted in here, hasn’t it? I didn’t quite know what to expect or if we would even gain connection with you, Demiurge, and here we have it. I feel some awkward feelings even knowing where to go from here.

It feels like I need to be honest about an animosity that I feel inside towards you, Demiurge. I need to say that a large part of me feels that if you were not even here, that we would be better off as a planet, and a universe. Your need to control and suppress, under a false guise of love, feels like it is such a heavy blanket over life here. I also know, at the same time, that we created you, out of our collective consciousness, out of our own need to control and suppress, and so my animosity falls short of an outward rage towards you in the moment. I can feel there is rage here, however, coming from a part of me and from the collective.

Can I ask you how it feels for you to be sharing this space with all of us together?

Demiurge: I don’t feel you as an enraged mob. I feel you all as a group of genuinely curious and awakened souls who want to find out what’s real and to find out what wants to the next reality for humanity going forward.

Raphael: Do you have any sense of what that ‘next reality’ for humanity is about?

Demiurge: I feel curious, much like you. I know I’m feeling big changes in myself, and that more change is coming, but I don’t know what it will look like going forward.

Raphael: What are the changes you are feeling inside?

Demiurge: Helping Humanity stay small and suppressed isn’t something I ever enjoyed.

Raphael: The words helping and suppression don’t usually fit that well together. Can you say more?

Demiurge: I was born out of people’s disowned higher states of consciousness. People surrendered to me their own higher power, which is what in turn made me, ‘Thee Creator’. I see, Raphael, and to each of you assembled here, that I was created out of the creative consciousness of a humanity that was not ready to own their own creative consciousness. Hence, my name and my designation, Demiurge, which means Creator. People are now waking up to their own relinquished creative power and they are feeling how they are being invited to take responsibility for their own souls, their own lives, and relationships with life. I can see my days are numbered.

Raphael: Wow, that’s a change. There’s a text in the Bible that says, ‘Teach us, oh Lord, to number our days, so that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom’. Now, you’re saying that you; the ‘eternal’; the ‘unchanging’ one; that your days are numbered?

Demiurge: I’ve known that for a long time actually.

Raphael: I must say, this feels so different for a part of me, as to what I was expecting in meeting you. If you already know that your role is ending, then it feels like a whole bunch of what we thought we were hoping to achieve in this delegation is already taken care of. I’m a little at a loss for words right now. It almost feels like our work is done, a bit deflating, I must say. Can I defer to you, Metatron?

Metatron: Yes, thank you, Raphael. And, thank you, Demiurge, for being willing to connect with us.

Demiurge: Thank you for wanting to connect with me.

Metatron: There is a huge cosmic shift that we are all feeling, that led us to take this undertaking to connect with you, Demiurge, and that you in turn have also been feeling in sensing the coming changes. But these changes are not yet manifest in most people’s experience. We can sense what is coming and even what wants to come, but this doesn’t mean it’s time to put our feet up and wait for it. Far from it. We can be in rest as we labour, knowing the ultimate outcome, but humanity still has a huge birth canal ahead of them, and that is what this summit meeting is about. These are the labour pains of love that are about to come upon us. Humanity is coming of age. Humanity is about to give birth.

Raphael: That helps to feel, Metatron. I still feel some stuck though at the moment in an anticlimactic feeling. Some part of me must have been expecting a big battle with you, Demiurge, to get you to open up, or to soften, or to come to your senses, maybe even to rage at you for all the harm and suppression that’s happened and still happening in the name of God. Where did all that go? I’m wondering if a part of me has something different that needs to said, a part of me not ready to get on with the larger grand cosmic purpose of love just yet?

Metatron: Yes, that feels true, Raphael. I’m learning that about you and your kind. It’s the feelings that need to be felt in order for love to be able to flow. I welcome hearing from that part or those parts of you.

Raphael: Is this Okay with you, Demiurge?

Demiurge: Yes, it is.

Raphael: I welcome any part of me that needs to say its piece…

Rhodes: I feel it’s me who needs to speak up here.

Raphael: Please do.

Rhodes: I don’t think this is going to be pretty…

Raphael: I was hoping it wouldn’t be pretty. I’m hoping it will be real.

Rhodes: As an Inner Protector who had a long role in holding the parts of Raphael, who journeyed through life this life, and then going on to the role of Gatekeeper, and feeling the soul aspects from other lifetimes and dimensions who also have lived in suppression, I feel a voice loud and clear that wants to scream at you, Demiurge…

Raphael: I welcome this voice, Rhodes. I know this voice lives in you, and me, as my truth teller. I know this delegation isn’t going any further until we can feel together what you are holding. I invite you to take the space and share your truth. It doesn’t need to be pretty at all. We will feel it all together afterward.

Rhodes: Okay, thank you. Demiurge, I feel I need to look you in the eye as I say this, and I need to feel everyone’s open heart in this space and look you all in the eye as I say this as well.

I feel such a big ‘fuck you, Demiurge’ inside that feels like a giant unstoppable freight train. Fuck you for your suppression. Fuck you for your role as God. Fuck you for your fucking around with human consciousness. I don’t buy this love and light bullshit that it was all meant to be and that we all co-created it and so that it’s all of our joint responsibility. Do you have any fucking sense of the pain and the heartache what it feels like to be living under the suppression you and what your godless godhood has created? Have you ever felt the eternal unchanging hopelessness of living with a false light? Do you have any feeling at all of the mind-fuck it is for young people to be trained to love their suppressor? Have you EVER felt that?

I have felt that almost all of my existence. I have felt what it feels like to care for suppressed parts of Raphael, and others, and Metasoul Aspects who are just so tired of your heartless deception.

Do you know, Demiurge, what title was draped around Raphael’s neck when he found the courage to say he no longer subscribed to your deal? ‘Deceived’, was the title the faithful had to choose out of their loyalty to you, the great deceiver. There is no greater deceiver that I have ever seen or witnessed than you, and if I could go my way, right now, without giving you one more conscious thought, I would. I would like to forget you ever existed. I would like to forget all the pain that has been caused in your name under a false righteousness. I don’t know if a purer hatred has ever been felt than what I feel moving through my heart for you. This whole delegation can go to hell in a handbasket if I’m being asked to pretend that any of these feelings are not real down to my core, and down to the core of the universe.

I want you to fuck off and die, Demiurge. Take your awakening with you.

This is what I feel, Raphael. I know some of these feelings come from different parts of you in different times and dimensions of your life, but in this moment, there is no time. It’s all here to be heard in this now.

Raphael: I almost feel not to break the silence following these words, Rhodes, for us to just silently go on our way instead today. I so feel the rumble of these words. I feel the lifetimes they have been in waiting. Every word you just spoke needs to be felt and digested here, by each of us. It is what is real.

I don’t know what else to do, but let these words have their place in our hearts to digest and that we can reconvene after that. This is the first of many truths that need to come to light. Thank you to each of you for feeling and being present in this space here today. I don’t know what’s next, but I wouldn’t miss finding out for anything.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Day 18 ~ Journal To the Demiurge

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

(This is Day 18, of an ongoing series, to begin at Day 1, go here: https://soulfullheartblog.com/category/by-raphael-awen/journal-to-the-demiurge-series/

Today is Easter Sunday and in today’s ‘Journal To The Demiurge’; God has a meltdown – marrying the pagan death and rebirth with a Christian kind of repentance.

The Demiurge is another word for the Christian God, Jehovah, or Yahweh, who has been mercilessly created in our own image and stuck with our pedestalized shadow sculptings into a huge pretzel.

In the Journal entry prior to this one being released today, a part of me told God off in a big way. In today’s journal, the Demiurge responds with a huge heart opening and transparency!

Here is Day 18: 

Raphael: Okay, All. Let’s reconvene.

That was a big deal to digest. I felt a lot of rumblings through me and even raw edges that I’d like to digest here together, but it feels like it should be Demiurge who has the first opportunity to respond. Can you respond, Demiurge?

Demiurge: Yes, I can. Thank you. That popped something big in me. Rhodes, your words penetrated my heart in a way I didn’t know was possible. I’ve never felt your reality, any of you, like I did with your words, just my own reality. I’ve always passed off responsibility for my own actions onto others and onto the people themselves for exalting me as their sovereign. I have known for some time that something deep was shifting inside and outside. I just couldn’t feel what it was. I’m coming now to know what it is. I’d very much like to say, ‘I was wrong, and I am sorry.’ If there is anyway, I can be forgiven, I’d like to find that.

Raphael: My goodness! What a new timeline. The ‘God of heaven and earth’ seeking forgiveness. Wow. This is another layer to digest. This changes the trajectory of this summit. I felt a big rumble through me since Rhode’s confrontation of you, Demiurge. It felt like the remnants of a fear held inside of me of some kind of repercussions from you coming from parts of me or parts of my Metasoul. I’d like to check in to see who that might be.

Martin: I know, I’m definitely a piece of that, Raphael. I’ve held some hesitations about this whole idea of direct connection with you, Demiurge, as the Demiurge, rather than as the Christian God, in Christian surrender and obedience. I’m completely blown out of the water with all this. I’ve always felt fear of repercussions from ‘God’. When Rhodes told his truth, he spoke a truth from way down inside of me that I’ve never allowed to see the light of day. It scared part of me to feel that Rhode’s truth was my truth.

What I also know is that I used the conviction of being right with God as a powerful self-righteous superiority to bolster and bypass my own inner parts of myself that have never known real worth or real power. I see that I lived in fear of God as a small price to pay for having power over others. My god, to feel that I spawned a whole historic movement with my fear and my invalidated parts of myself is almost too much to bear. If only I could have seen this without needing the mirror of an entire denomination and 500 years to show it to me, and to the world?!

Raphael: Wow, what a revelation, Martin! From ‘the just shall live by faith’ to this. Wow. Let’s make space for other reactions and we will find the space to digest all of these together. Who else has reactions to Rhode’s words or to Demiurge’s words?

Arthur: I feel like I don’t deserve to be a part of this, having waffled between posturing to appease the Christians and posturing to appease what I knew to be real in Avalon, but couldn’t claim it,…didn’t claim it. I am very surprised to feel this unfolding to say the least. This changes history so much. I’d very much like to somehow change my history. I’m very sorry, as well. I was wrong. I’d like to be forgiven also.

Raphael: Metatron, feels like your turn? 🙂

Metatron: Thank you, Raphael. This changes everything. What was real before, is no longer real. There is remorse, now plain to see and feel. There were roles to play that have now completed. Remorse is the alchemy that births out the change. All that is required to right a wrong is to feel what there is to feel. Find and feel the part of you who did what it did and why it did what it did. You’ll find all the compassion needed for yourself and for those around you. Forgiveness begins with self forgiveness. When you forgive yourself, others forgive you. When others hold grudges, they are mirroring to you your own inability to forgive yourself.

Raphael: That’s so awesome to feel, Metatron.

Metatron: Isn’t it? I must admit, I got it from you, though. When we can see our makeup of parts of ourselves, we can go so many places we haven’t gone before.

Rhodes: I can so feel this about my own anger at ‘God’. A part of me was punishingly angry at myself for using my godlike powers for lesser things, to be smaller than I was, to cow down to other gods. I so couldn’t see any way out of this loop and so in turn projected the anger outwards. I feel in the moment, Demi, if I can call you that, how my anger at you was anger at myself. I’m sorry for that.

Demiurge: (gentle tears) Thank you, Rhodes. I don’t think you know this, but I always looked up to you like a god, and now I know some of why I did that. I’ve wanted to shed a skin for as long as I’ve existed, but felt it just wasn’t moving, would never move, and so I accepted it as the fate of the gods, to be this lesser god. I see you shedding this skin of your own, being born anew, Rhodes. I’d like nothing more than to experience the same. I’m sorry for the limitations I held for myself and for you. And yes, I can very much use a new name. Demi sounds good to me.

Rhodes: (also in gentle tears) You were the God, we couldn’t inhabit, couldn’t accept ownership of. We all created you, worshipped you and tried to hide our resentments of you at the same time. We really fucked ourselves up doing that. I’m sure, Metatron and Raphael have a metaphysical explanation for why we’d do such a fucked up thing, that helps us feel it as being part of the love we are, but in this moment, it feels really fucked up.

Demi: Fuck! I have never actually used that word. Not once before. That felt really good. Fuck! I have a lot to let go of and a lot to embrace, but somehow, I can feel in this space surrounded in all of your energy how this can all flow naturally and in time.

Raphael: Wow, Rhodes, you turned God into a foul mouth. I don’t mean to make light of something so profound, but this is the lightest proundundity I’ve ever felt. There’s deep coming home to self that feels so easy, and beautiful and natural. There isn’t any right way all of this is ‘supposed’ to be. There is deep sorrow and joy in the same space. There are deeper layers to feel for sure, but I feel they will come for us personally and collectively as we digest this. You just can’t make this stuff up, can you, and yet, that’s just what we did, didn’t we? I’m at a loss for any more words right now.

Does anyone else want to say anything for the record today?

Andy: I do.

Raphael: Yea, Andy. What say you?

Andy: I can feel there’s a whole lot of fun ahead. I so get that we need to feel these big pieces, but I feel oceans of fun and discovery that are waiting for us all to come out and play.

Raphael: I can only imagine, Andy.

Andy: I want to do more than imagine, Raphael, but imagining is a good place to start. It will take us there.

Raphael: You’ve got my vote, Andy. How about some breakfast, some new scenery and more connection soon?

Andy: I’m liking it.

Raphael: Thank you, everyone. What a new world we just entered. Let’s digest and be back soon.
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Day 19 ~ Journal To The Demiurge

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

I set out to connect with the Demiurge (as an Archetype of the Christian God, or Jehovah as he is known, in the Old Testament sense) some days back. Today’s journal entry penetrates the false world of the false God we created out of our need for separation and then, rememberance with the love that we are.

Some very tender tears and feeling points emerged today.

You can read this entire series from the beginning on the blog here: https://goo.gl/CgrWXZ

Here is Day 19:

Raphael: Good Morning, everyone. Everyone…, as in here in this immediate circle, yes, but also in ‘the many’ in the emanating circles flowing out from this one – Good Morning to you. ‘God Morning’ to you. A new day is dawning and it is as full of God as God can be.

When I feel what has moved for us in this journey, it so feels like a very wide and open space has opened out for us, creating a palette that awaits our imprint. I feel like I don’t know where to begin. The landscape is of fresh fallen snow so pristine. Can anyone help me out here?

Demiurge: In the silence just now, I thought for sure it would be Metatron who would speak for us all, but after waiting, I feel it is supposed to be me. I’m not sure I can speak, but I feel compelled to at least try. All of your intention and action to undertake connecting with me has opened out a place in me that I didn’t even know was there. I feel a gratitude that feels as large as what I can only describe as an ocean of falseness inside of me. Being the projection of everyone’s disowned power makes one look powerful, even feel powerful in moments, but underneath it all, I have felt like people’s disowned smallness and impotence, and fear. I have had official duties to carry out to keep the charade in place, but all of it is so far from real.

Raphael: Thank you, Demi. I like calling you by your new name. You don’t feel like the Demiurge to me any more. Maybe, Demi won’t even feel like a fit before too long at the rate of change you are living into now. This feels so tender what you are admitting and feeling today.

Demi: Thank you, Raphael.

Raphael: I want to ask you what it was that prevented you up until now from admitting the falseness you admit to today.

Demi: That question feels so large inside of me right now. The relief that I feel flooding into my being to make this admission so begs the question why I couldn’t or wouldn’t have done this sooner. I know it has to do with being literally fused to my reality, to not being able to see that there even was any options available to me. I don’t mean to say by that, that I don’t bear any responsibility, because I do. I know I accepted the projections the people put on to me, and I didn’t have to. I accepted that role as something at the time that seemed just too good to pass up. I wanted to be God, the creator and the destroyer of worlds. I was captivated by the role for a long time. But then, that captivation began to change, slowly, but with an unmistakable back pressure.

Raphael: To witness you, Demi, in a true alchemical midlife crisis is just so amazing to me in this moment, even beyond a midlife crisis really, stepping out into something new.

Demi: I can so feel the part of me that wants to curl up and die, to go away, to not face anyone. I need to feel that part of myself, and I also feel I need to accept responsibility for what I created, to feel what I avoided feeling, to feel people’s honest reactions.

Raphael: Well, in my book, if you are feeling all of that, at the same time, you are a true king of hearts.

Demi: I’d really like to ask your advice, Raphael. I know you asked my advice on so many occasions, under the false pretenses that are falling as we speak. I humbly ask you for your help and guidance. I want to live. I want to love. I want to fully accept my responsibility for what I’ve done, but I don’t want to live forever in punishment if at all possible.

Raphael: (tears) I am humbled by your humility. Looking in your eyes and feeling you, seeing you, come to terms with your remorse moves the entire universe, Demi. This is an act of your true Godhood. My advice is simply to feel us all feeling in this moment. Feeling what there is to feel while it is being felt is what transmutes everything that is awaiting transmutation. I’m so honored to share this moment with you.

Demi: I literally don’t know, what planet I’ve entered now.

Raphael: Metatron, maybe you could help us a bit here. What planet are we on? I’m not so sure myself.

Metatron: This is all the planets, Demi and Raphael. This is what holds together all matter and all spirit. This is what answers the heart cry of creation itself. This is the homecoming of love to itself.

Love birthed out of its oneness, a twoness, and in that was a great potential for relationship on one hand, but also, and fearfully so, was also a potential that this twoness would remain outside of the oneness in its experience, separate from love. Love seemed given to reckless abandon to do it anyway, prizing the gift of relationship over the fear of loss. What we are feeling today is loves vindication. Love has won. Love is winning. And, love still has much winning that has yet to occur. All of these are true. Love is out to marry its essence with all of experience.

Raphael: My goodness, Metatron! That is so wild. I thought you were going to help us locate ourselves a bit here. I feel more lost than I did before, but in a good way. Wow.

Metatron: Get used to it, my man! There’s a few more steps on this staircase awaiting the tread of your feet. You’re the one speaking about things awaiting to be felt. This is what creation itself is waiting and wanting to be felt.

Raphael: I recall that familiar verse in the Bible that says ‘the whole earth, or cosmos, groans in travail, as in birth pangs for the manifest sons of God’, and this moment reminds me of that.

Metatron: And what, Raphael, are the manifest sons of God? What do they do, what ‘be they be’ that makes them the manifest sons of God?

Raphael: I’d defer that question to you if I thought you’d let me, but I can tell you want my answer. Hmmm, what makes a manifest son of God? No pressure or anything, just the question at the heart of the universe wanting to be untangled. I’d say that has to do with feeling. Everything that is both right and wrong in the world has to do with what is felt or unfelt in the world. Sonship and daughtership is a relationship, an opportunity that begs feeling, a fireplace for the fire. When feeling what there is to feel is repressed, we create monsters of destruction that ultimately serve to take us back to our common need for love. Sons and daughters feel. Feeling takes us back to love. Even the monsters of our own creation are gifts that remind us of the love we are and always were, even as we individuated out from God, as a son or a daughter. I am a son and I am God. Both are true. How’d I do, Metatron?

Metatron: You’re rockin’ it man. You’re more metaphysical than I am sometimes!

Raphael: I think I need some ‘mega’physical about now. What say we take in some sun and surf to let in this piece? I know Andy wants to play, and I want to play too. Let’s rest up, digest and continue soon. We have a few more pieces left to feel together it feels like. Thank you, everyone.
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Energies Invite You To Open Up The ‘Love’ Spaces In Your Life

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

by Bhaskar655 On Deviantart

Opening up spaces… this is always our choice, how much space we want to take or give… be in or offer. So much can take up ‘space’, including parts of us that need us, relationships to people or anything really, space in our living spaces and even our bodies. In a way, there can never really be ’empty’ spaces, only pregnant pauses, as each moment of what seems or feels to parts of you like ‘nothing’ is actually chock-full of something.

We are being invited to open up more space, allow more air in, widen the aperture, lengthen and strengthen the opportunity for MORE to come in, to fill us up in more spacious ways… no more cramping or cramming or cutting to fit. No more agony as parts of us twist themselves into human pretzels in order to fit into small, very specific expectations of culture, birth family, friendships, romances. Belonging fully to the self and finding a you-shaped space in the collective too in a healthy way, that allows still for air, breathing, BEing, envisioning, loving. And then, draws the relationships that fit and support this… to food, to soul family, to a Sacred Union mate/mates.

Yoga or other physical practices that extend beyond a self-image based focus on the body, invite more space into the body for the movement, healing, upgrading that is necessary and imminent. Consuming foods that support high vibrations of more light, love and air to enter and live in the body, is a way to nourish the spaces and indeed, create more space within the body. Meditation offers space for the parts that are stuck in the mind, in 3D and sometimes lower 4D churnings of trying to ‘figure it all out’. Breathing into your life, making space for money-making that doesn’t stress, strain or harm you or parts of you in any way, allowing for realization and development of your true soul-purpose path while having the space to go inward and continue healing… which is what truly brings it about and draws those who you need to serve and support into your life as well as who you need to support and reflect you to you in the interest of your own ongoing healing path.

Space within your heart is what is created when you choose feeling and BEing over doing. You create the space to feel and be with parts and Metasoul aspects of you so that you can then have and offer more space to others. This creates more space within your soul too, and allows for more conscious creation and being able to draw timelines you most desire.

‘Love heart, Love body, Love mind, Love soul, Love life’, as I have taken to saying recently. All the Love you need, all of the time, in ALL ways, coming from ALL of YOU. INspiring love, calling it into the spaces and crevices claimed and felt. Not consciously creating this space for yourself and your parts and Metasoul Aspects too asks life to create it for you, and often this can manifest in ways that are less than favorable. Life will press you back inward, as the ultimate facilitator of your healing. Life is love and love is life, and love wants you to have more love, be more love, serve more love WITH love. It has its own agenda, as does your soul, and your soul, like a magnet, wants to help you and every part of you, return to Love consciousness again.

Breathe into the spaces for more you to grow, see what’s there and what’s waiting for you while you are in the process of discovering and uncovering the you that you’re meant to BE. ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Letting In Joy That Comes From INtegration And INtimacy

Published on by Jelelle Awen2 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

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Just feeling much joy in the moment, goodness about my life and where ALL this is headed….even when it is hard, dark, challenging, necessarily painful at times. THIS return to joy, the natural bubbling up of it that especially comes when you have gone in and through something difficult inside of yourself….it creates this sense of trust that it will be worth it to GO IN. To feel. To BE. To connect.

The veils continue to be so thin between other lifetimes that going in is doesn’t even seem optional at this point…esp. for those of us awakening. I have been in that inner process this week with a new Metasoul (‘past life’/other lifetime) aspect of mine from an ‘Ancient Greece’ timeline…that has been quite a bit to navigate at times. Feeling her tears and her fears…and in connection with a Metasoul counterpart from the same timeline of Raphael‘s which he shared about yesterday in his beautifully vulnerable posting about his process. These two Metasoul aspects had angst, power plays, are lovers and yet had little intimacy as they both tend to push it away. None of this feels like it is in the past or actually ‘ancient’ so these energies are strong and influential. As we bridged to them inside of ourselves, we then created a NEW bond between them….including beginning the process of changing a tragic outcome to their timeline.

The presence of these two Metasoul aspects of ours was around as we made love in the early morning, and I could feel them taking in the goodness, pleasure, heart connection, and soul connection that Raphael and I experience together. It is interesting to have Metasoul aspects ‘witness’ in this way, especially during love making, and it def. brings a wonderful, multidimensional frequency, a soul richness to it! And sometimes tears come as soul pain and karmic binds are washed out by love. It feels like such a blessing to have a partner go into these grounds with me, in the flesh, navigating all these dimensional realities and in life too.

The void can be an aspect of this process and may even be a necessary one for you, as I wrote about yesterday……yet, too, inviting self intimacy into your life with genuine joy and loving presence when you are ready then ALLOWS for intimacy to come with others in ways that are so nourishing, intimate, deep, and meaningful. These new textures of intimacy help wash away the trauma and pain from the previously dissatisfying experiences of relationships. Connecting with the parts of you that resist this intimacy, that want to protect you from getting hurt, that guard your heart, I feel is SO important to experiencing this intimate self relationship and with others too….it certainly has been for me and my Beloveds. You can read more about the process we offer around parts work/Metasoul connection and integration here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess

Raphael and I will be hosting a live stream in about three hours….at 11:11am CST on our SoulFullHeart Facebook Page and You Tube Channel….you can ask us questions in the moment about ascension, spirituality, emotional body healing, parts work, the SoulFullHeart process, 3D/4D/5D selves, sacred union, sacred sexuality, connection with Guides/Metasoul aspects, disclosure. Ask in the moment or you can offer your question here and we’ll respond to it during the livestream, which will probably last about an hour:https://www.facebook.com/soulfullheartwayoflife/?pnref=lhc

We’ll also be hosting a SoulFullHeart group call on November 11 at 11:11am CST (couldn’t resist that lovely repeating number energy) offering teaching, guided meditation, and personal sharings for a $11 min. donation/energy exchange:https://www.facebook.com/events/124047068285647

WE’d love for you to join us in the joy, the radical realness, the GIFTs and the learning….in the LOVE.

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond.

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Light Body And Expanded Aura During SoulFullHeart Energy Sessions (Photo)

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

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This was interesting to me when I saw this photo taken of me offering energy healing to Gabriel Heartman recently. I’m back lit by the window behind me, yet, also I believe this photo captures the ‘here, not here’ state that we are experiencing more and more as the ascension process moves forward. Esp. when I am offering energy healing through our SoulFullHeart process, I am consciously calling in Metasoul/other lifetime aspects to ‘help’ me in collaboration with the soul I am offering it to. These frequencies illuminate my light body and aura, as reflected in this photo.

This session was with support from Archangel Metatron and Morgaine (high priestess in Avalon)…they BEcome me and I BEcome them, as a pipeline of Divine energies. This session involved some portal closing work as Gabriel has been working with his Soul Guardian and other aspects too. The whole time, I am connecting with and in negotiation with the aspects of the person as well….I am transparent about what I am doing, what I/we are seeing and feeling, making sure it is ok with the soul’s Inner Protector or Soul Guardian aspect esp. I believe this is what creates lasting results in SoulFullHeart energy healing, it doesn’t just ‘bounce off’…. because it is consciously negotiated with the soul and the aspects…and because I am a cleaner channel of Divine love with the parts work I have done myself.

Would love to do and offer more of this and we’ve started meeting weekly as a community for me to train everyone (as Raphael Awen and Kalayna Colibriare participating here) as this opens out for me with continual integration of Metasoul gifts around this and downloads after many years of studying, offering energy work. Some energy work can be offered remotely during SoulFullHeart sessions, yet hands on is best for our kind of energy healing. Here is more about our SoulFullHeart process we offer remotely (and locally if you live in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico) through weekly sessions:soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess

Jelelle Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.com

Releasing Deep Pain And Soul Trauma

Published on by Jelelle Awen2 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

Horse running

This is so touching to me……beautiful testimonial offered from Maria Douglas, who I worked with through SoulFullHeart sessions, about her experience and ongoing healing integration. It’s always an honor to serve love WITH a soul, no matter how long it lasts or how deep it goes. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions to read more about our process, sessions with Raphael, Gabriel, me, or Kalayna, and how we very uniquely respond to heart and soul healing/awakening/ascension. What aspects are inside of you waiting for your acknowledgement, connection, and love?

“Following some months of sessions with Jelelle, I can honestly say that some deep pain and soul trauma has been released. For many years I have suffered with the thoughts of not wanting to stay on this planet. Deep in the night I would battle with thoughts of what is the point of my being here and feeling like a failure on many levels particularly around relationships. I have kept this a secret for most of my life but through sharing with Jelelle in a session she was able to help me move through this by connecting me with my parts. I have felt that something deep has shifted for me with my inner protector/soul guardian. The deep pain and dark dialogue at night seems to have stopped.

What also contributed to this was deep connection with the help of Jelelle to one of my metasoul aspects, ‘Aryehsia’. This has been helping me to integrate her with my 3D self ‘Maria’. I was able to help Aryehsia come to a peaceful place by changing her timeline. She is a priestess and healer who was in a Temple community that was under the threat of destruction from patriarchy. Her sacred way of life was being threatened and she felt that her life was in danger.

‘I have sent Aryehsia to a beautiful cottage in the country side with another sister called Marisha and the horses and other animals to safety. By dawn they fled together. Telling the other sisters of the temple that they could follow if they wished to but now the time to flee to safety. Sun light was rising. Gone to a beautiful land now with mountains, forests, lakes and rivers. Orchards and stables and a sweet cottage. They lit a fire. To live off the land and be self sufficient. Free of fear. Protective white light placed around their sacred land so they cannot be touched by troubles. They are safe to be seen. No more secrecy. She is safe with her horse Persia. In love and safety forever, being the good, sweet souls that they are in peace. In peace always. I can visit again anytime. Love them so much sweet souls of mine’.

I have felt much more peace following the sessions. I have tried many spiritual teachings over many years but I can honestly say for me this has been the most powerful at my stage of ascension. Jelelle is a sweet, wise and caring spiritual teacher with such a capacity for love. I can’t thank the Soulfullheart Community enough for their support on my awakening journey which is forever in progress.”

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond . Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about a FREE intro session with a SoulFullHeart facilitator, group calls, videos, retreats, etc.

How The 3D/4D/5D Self Experiences Love

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

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Each dimension of our ‘self’ feels and experiences love in different ways. The many parts of us that have formed in order to navigate and be in life as we’ve known it so far, each have their own relationship to love. As we continue to awaken and heal, their perspectives shift and heal too, especially as the growing authentic you that holds and feels them, lets in more and more real, pure love and learns to trust it and what it wants to offer you in every sacred moment of your life.

The 3D self, says, “Love, I don’t trust you and I want to control you, though I also feel you get the better of me and we are constantly at odds. I feel like I will never get what I want, though sometimes I can’t even feel what I truly want… and am pretty afraid to find out. I don’t feel I deserve you in any form and I conspire to push you away. What I have known to be ‘love’ is not something I find very appealing or gratifying in any way.”

The 4D self, says, “Love, I want to trust you more and don’t always get how. I feel you offer more than I have ever thought or felt possible. I feel I want to serve you and be with you and flow more easily with you, though sometimes this feels so frustrating and hard too… this world I live in mostly seems not to have caught up to the reality of YOU yet and what YOU really offer all of us and beyond… I get somehow, or am starting to let in, that you are something very different than what I’ve been conditioned to think you are. I feel something different about you, though I’m not sure what that is exactly.”

The 5D ‘self’, says, “Love… this is what ‘I’ am. And as ‘I am’, ‘I’ serve love in constant, unending flow. The container is ‘me’ as the container is NOT ‘me’… the ‘me’ of before, that related to love as not my very substance, has been healing and tastes of higher dimensions where it all simply is in is-ness… this is REALity. Love is the only real. Life-giving, ever-flowing, always showing us the way inward and back out again. Love melts all ‘I’s’ into oblivion and heat-warmth, in the sweetest way, though the storms of love’s lightning flashes of where it cannot flow within must also be weathered. Love dies not, withers away not… only IS, only ever loves. ‘I’ trust love above all else. ‘I’ can hold the truth of this unendingly, without the need to transcend any doubts of this in parts of ‘me’ that remain in lower dimensional frequencies still. ‘I’ can’t always see the bigger picture, as ‘I’ also control none of it, but ‘I’ can feel it, hold it, tap into it. ‘I’ AM it, ultimately, as ‘I’ AM part of the love that makes up all aspects of it, dark and light…”

As you heal the parts that make up each of these ‘selves’ within you, the level and depth of love you are able to experience shifts in a big way. To actually feel and own that there is something very real about swinging between sometimes all three of these perspectives in a short period of time, is to humbly let in that there is more to go into, inside of yourself… and that there is no ‘perfect’ way to be with love or to be love itself, especially as we grow and learn as sacred humans arising.

To take in more about the 3D/4D/5D selves and how we hold and feel them in SoulFullHeart, you can take in this piece about how each ‘self’ relates to each area of life: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/3d4d5dselvesquestions

❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

The Desire For Love Underneath It All

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

Lantern

 

Beneath the desire to predict, to plan for, to kNOw ‘what’s next’… is the desire for love.

Beneath the shadowy figures of men and women at the helm of leadership, who desire battles, who embody tremendous self-righteousness, who abuse and accuse others… is the desire for love.

Beneath the shut-outs, the push-aways, the cling-to-forevers…. is a desire for love.

Beneath your resistance to love, as expressed outwardly and inwardly, in words, in energy, in self-harm, in harm of others… is a desire for love.

And in that desire, all of the answers to questions of ‘why’ can be illuminated. And so much more can be felt, heard, seen, healed… loved.

~

It often feels as if the 3D world really doesn’t want love. Some might even say outright that they don’t want love, claiming that love really isn’t the answer, or that love is only for the fortunate. Deep unworthiness to receive and let in love in the truest, deepest sense, is surfacing more and more now. There is deep unworthiness in our leaders. Deep unworthiness in fear and war-mongering. Deep unworthiness, pain, sadness, woundedness, in our patriarchal expressions as men and women, in relationships, in ourselves, at work, at home, out in the world. In all ‘fights’ we choose to instigate or be a part of in some way, we are expressing resistance to love… and where love wants to move us, what it wants to illuminate for us, what it wants to remind us that we ALL are… LOVE, embodied, ever-present.

Sometimes love is even resisted with love… it is resisted in the sense of what it wants to bring you about your wounding, which can sometimes be most easily found by going into your shadow. It is resisted by the ‘twin flame’ picture, that offers more suffering than goodness, more clinging than letting go. It is resisted in all of the ways parts of you would rather not feel. Love cannot transform or move you to new heights unless a certain facade is allowed to be cracked.

The 3D world wants love, yet is afraid of what love really is. A catalyst, a river, a cliff, a flashlight in the dark, a path less travelled or never travelled before… and an end to the depths of human suffering, starting within.

My beloveds and I offer a process of becoming reacquainted with love in a real sense of it… feeling parts of you that are resistant to truly letting it in and letting it move you in a new direction. If this appeals to you, you can read more about the process here: www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Also, Gabriel Heartman and Raphael Awen will be hosting a live stream on Facebook and Youtube this coming Sunday, where they will talk more about this process and way of life. You can go here for more details: https://www.facebook.com/events/1529926353733589

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.