Category: Change and Transformation

The Waves Of Awakening Into Love With Love

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Solais

Love pops you open sometimes.
You cry tears you didn’t know were there.
You lose track of what your mind once thought was important.
You start feeling more than efforting anything.


The flow begins and the changes take hold.
The choices made bring you closer to what your soul has wanted all along,
Even in the karma trauma that comes up to be felt between yourself and others.

When love pops you open
You know it’s love because you feel held
You feel like shit but you feel like you’re finding your way
Even in some small way.

And then you feel,
Slowly but surely,
How much more you now have to offer yourself and the world
Because you weren’t afraid of love popping you open.

And so,
Love thanks you.
Love celebrates all of it with you.
And you bring in more conscious connections of real love,
Held and expressed with others
Who have experienced the same.

Together, then
You flow and feel
And heal
And offer healing
And in all of this
There is always more to experience of love’s expansive gifts
And the forever of being Divine without force, bypassing,
Or overly giving to others while forgetting
And even celebrating
your own deep desires
And love-supported needs.

Love,
Kalayna Solais

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

In The Darkness The Queen Is Born

Published on by Deya ShekinahLeave a comment

By Deya Shekinah

It’s hard to share and write as much when I am in the depths of feeling darker emotions and shadow aspects of myself. It feels so vulnerable for my parts to show the depth of grief, unworthiness, self loathing and entitlement they are feeling. For younger parts it can feel dangerous to show these feelings, as they are so conditioned to be good, nice and keep quiet. Yet to show up as the woman I know I am, this process of welcoming, owning and revealing the darkness feels like a key part of maturation and embodiment.

As I danced this morning with the darkness, I could feel how alive and juicy it feels to dance, feel and express these darker emotions. There is a power within them, that feels so connected to embodying and stepping into my Queen. To push intensity and darkness away, to hide from it and make it ‘not ok’, I feel like I am pushing away essential parts of myself as a woman. My passion, my pleasure, my joy, my purpose are all being suppressed along with them. 

There have been times these past weeks where my parts feel like they are drowning in the darkness, like they will never find their way through. To be honest that can still feel like the only reality as I, Deya, am still growing my capacity as a space-holder for my parts, and am still becoming the container that they can rest into and feel held within, rather than becoming them.

I don’t think I have ever felt so shaky in my life. Even as I feel a strength in sharing these words in the moment, once they are out in the world, the unworthiness, fear and anxiety will surely arise as they keep doing. The more I am choosing to step up and shine, to be more authentic, to follow my desire to be in service to Love and to be in intimacy with others, the more these shadows are being revealed.

It feels like there are now no other options, no more hiding places; there is no way to go but IN. To be authentic, to serve and to live in joy includes all of the uncomfortable emotions, to Love and be in intimacy with myself, with life and with others includes them all too. To be a Queen means being willing and brave enough to face the shadows. To be a Queen means to lead by example with a loving, empathetic heart to the feelings of others, because she is in a deep, real and intimate relationship with her own and knows the challenges that will be faced on this journey through her own lived experience.

Love,

Deya x

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

Though Chapters Complete, Connections Remain

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Solais

You can complete a chapter with someone/something, but you can’t complete a soul connection… nothing ‘ends’, it just changes form.

And in that new form, something has arisen from the ashes.

I feel this in my relationship to Gabriel now that it’s been a year since we completed our marriage and sacred union bond, looking back at everything we’ve been through and feeling how connected we still are, only now in deep and genuine friendship.

I feel this in my relationship with SoulFullHeart and the necessary phases of separation that have always led me deeper into me and then, blessedly, deeper into the community and into soul and heart-based leadership.

I feel this in relationship to my parts… the ones I’ve had to set boundaries with in order to have them arise anew again for me/with me.

Soul draw and resonance cannot be truly collapsed, though our more protective parts of us may want that, as deeper soul connections are catalytic, and at times there may be phases of needing space on both sides. They will always push the necessary buttons for our growth, gently or otherwise. And, if we’re meant to experience that growth together and not only in physical separation from each other, we will.

Love wants us to have all of the growth we can imagine.

Love wants us to have as much of that growth while together in the same room, if possible. And, even though sometimes it isn’t possible, love reminds us of the connection that true soul love really IS and that it can never ‘go away’.

Photo by yours truly, of a beautiful tree I was connecting with the other day…. ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Humanity’s Return To Innocence

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Solais

Believe it or not… and I’ll bet parts of you feel skeptical (and reasonably so) right now. Yet, I’ve been offered that a huge aspect of the process we’re in right now on Gaia is a great ‘Return to Innocence’. It’s not a simple process by any means. Yet laid out for us, it is. And invited into it deeper, we are.

This ‘innocence’ means seeing and feeling the world through the eyes of wonder and trust, even though there may be tears sometimes when you feel what is burning away in your own life and in the lives of others. Actually, this innocence means there is a renewed sense of your own heart’s purity, which despite the trauma you’ve experienced, remains deep within you. This is what you return to when you’ve healed through so many of the defences parts of you have needed throughout your life. This is the place you interact with others from more than ever before when the younger parts of you who are now much wiser because of life experience but not bitter (anymore) are able to feel this innocence within themselves.

Even all of the purging going on with Cabal, illuminating collective darkness and shadow so that we can dig deeper and move away from this timeline of suppression of love and truth (which can’t ultimately BE suppressed really), is leading us back to our innocence. These darker energies that have influenced and held the larger spaces of politics and fame and even spirituality, are loosening their grip and returning to their own reconciliation within. To meet and match these energies and defend against them as well, parts (especially your Inner Protector) and Metasoul aspects in other timelines have had to adapt and defend, become fiercer than they truly are or want to be, and forget about their realest vulnerabilities and the core of their heart’s desires. This is leading us through a BIG detox of what has NOT been us, individually and collectively, and is challenging us to feel our hearts again.

It may seem sometimes during this purging process that things are getting worse… but when it comes to toxicity, quite often things get worse before they get better. Storms happen before rainbows. And even rainbows happen sometimes while the sky is still clearing of rain and clouds. So it is that our innocence, our Divine Child light, can still find ways to shine through, even though there is still so much churning in the world.

It’s a deep, many-layered process. As I feel my own empowerment in my own process to feel all of this emerging in my own being, I feel how much work it’s taken to get to a space of feeling more of my innocence again. More of the desire to genuinely and heartfully connect, to bring vulnerability even when it feels iffy to do so, is able to emerge now. I can feel this as a new form of leadership that gets to arise now from within me and invite others to find the same within. It’s worth all of the shadow processing to get here and I trust too that this feeling of my own ‘Return To Innocence’ will help hold the space for any more shadow explorations that follow.

And so it can and will be for you… if you keep choosing the curiosity, the inner work, and the desire to hold space for yourself and others as we continue this transition to the most ALIVE-feeling life that we could ever have imagined.

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Desire & Hope For A New World: A Poem

Published on by Raianna ShaiLeave a comment

By Raianna Shai

I feel the polarities in the world right now
Power and pain
Passion and heartbreak
Love and fear

I hope for a change
For our parts to be felt
For our hearts to be healed
For our voices to be heard

I dream of a new world
Of peace and joy
Of compassion and understanding
Of healing and awakening

I see us hand in hand
Fighting no longer needed
Shame and guilt fading away
Unity and community in spades

I believe in us as humans
To dive into our shadow
And rise into love
To reach our collective ceiling of fear
And burst into the unknown of trust

I desire so much for humanity
To feel the violence inside
And the violence towards others
To heal it with kindness

For…
I am LOVE
YOU are LOVE
WE are LOVE

Incredible painting by Josephine Wall 💕

***

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and website designer for SoulFullHeart Healing, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about free consultations and 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, Free To Be group calls, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Deeper Intimacy With Self Through The Explorations With Money

Published on by Deya ShekinahLeave a comment

By Deya Shekinah

Wow, what a topic money is. I feel so many layers and parts wrapped into the explorations with money. One of the things that Jelelle Awen offered in the SoulFullHeart Free To Be Two group call about money this week, was how some can relate to money as a false god. This landed straight away as what I experienced within my family, how earning money gave meaning to life and felt like the only meaning to life as there was no spirituality or religion in my upbringing. I feel how my Inner Masculine, David, took this on and how my Inner Child, Yazzy, was stifled by this. Since she was always so multi dimensional, she didn’t believe this to be true, but as there was no one bringing any other meaning, she became capped by that.

I remembered a time when a male family member said to me that ‘money is the only thing that matters in the world’. At the time, I was blown away that anyone could believe that. As I feel it now, I feel so much density in that picture of our world, the lack of joy or spaciousness in it. As I feel David, I sense this energy within him as the conditioning he received from birth family members. 

Right now I am in a transition into a new way of being and earning money, that is bringing light to David’s relationship to money.  I hold and feel a lot of trust around money after years of transitioning and exploring money. This transition has grown into a deeper awareness and understanding of a greater meaning of life, as well as what abundance looks and feels like to me. 

I have learnt that abundance is many things. Not only money, but time, connection, vulnerability with others, space to BE. These all feel like abundance to me. I am coming to know and feel that my inner feeling of abundance is what draws abundance on the outside including financial abundance, even as that is still growing. For David, I feel him seeing this abundance coming in and seeing money coming in for offering my Soul Gifts, but he still does not FEEL abundant.

The group call has helped me feel this with him, his reality more of distrust and lack that he has been in and learnt throughout this 3D experience, sure that has been the 3D experience. One of the core beliefs I feel held in David is, ‘there is never enough money’., I see how much this creates that reality for us because he is so focused on ‘there is never enough’. He cannot appreciate or acknowledge it as it is coming in. I feel how it is the ability to be grateful for what IS, in the moment, that draws more of that thing to you, which of course is a journey, not something you can create through bypassing feeling the lack of gratitude. 

I feel how this lack of money belief is actually a cover up for lack of love, connection, communication and boundaries, it feels like. Money becomes this huge focal point when there is no other meaning to life. Money has become this huge elephant in the room, where we think about it, worry about it, are anxious about it, but we do not really honestly talk about it, at least in my experience and in this culture of my current geography. The shame, the guilt, the resentment around money is of course going to make it heavy and joyless. This feels like it creates blocks to, and a push/pull within us and our relationship to money, as well as abundance in general. 

I feel the lack of joy the Inner Masculine can hold around life in general, which then seeps into his relationship with/to everything else in life. I feel David feeling joyless, I feel him longing to experience joy as my other parts do, his sadness that he cannot seem to meet them there. Yet I feel how no one has ever asked him what he likes, what the meaning of his life is, and how he has been disempowered throughout this 3D experience too.

So now there is this new ground to walk out with him, where he is included and wanted, where he gets to feel and heal too because he is valued by me through this process. So this is where talking about money leads us, perhaps not straight away to more money, although I feel that coming in but to deeper connection, understanding and intimacy with our parts, and with each other eventually too.

You can purchase the recording of this Free To Be Two group call about money and attendance at/recordings of future group calls in this series by offering a donation of any amount. More information at soulfullheart.org/freetobe2.

Love,

Deya & David

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

Welcoming Everything In Closer, Sacred Union Within

Published on by Deya ShekinahLeave a comment

By Deya Shekinah

This past month has been a deep dive with my Inner Teenager, Yasmin. We have been digesting so much together and navigating many timelines collapsing and arising. 

It has been a very tender time of feeling the reality of her experiences in this life, especially how she has been in relationship with others. Yasmin has always been such an open book, I have felt in this time of less sharing how her openness hasn’t always come from a place of self love. I’ve been feeling how she has shared such deeply intimate details of her life with others, with anyone really, because she so deeply longed to be felt, seen and heard… something she didn’t receive much of.

As we digested together, I have been writing but when it has come to sharing publicly, I am becoming more sensitive to her vulnerability. I am learning that instead of sharing, I can let her land more inside of me, letting her feelings be felt and validated by me, by Jelelle Awen and by those closest to me, who I feel safe with. Rather than trying to understand, I am learning to listen. To listen to her stories, the ones she has buried deep down and disconnected from. Feeling all the things she could not feel in other times of her life because she wasn’t safe to.

I am realizing all she has ever truly wanted was to be welcomed in all that she is and all that she feels, rather than only being desired, wanted or welcomed in certain energies of who she is. Her tears were so close this morning. I feel how other parts of me have learnt to try to fix her or push aspects of her emotional reality away. I feel how she also experienced this in all of her relationships to varying degrees.

As I moved and danced, I welcomed all of her in closer than ever before, all her tears, all her longing. She felt unsure at first, as tears have always been hard for her to feel without someone else holding space. As her tears were always hidden and not welcomed, it has taken me a long time to realize that they can be. As I grow through this process as a space holder, I am able to offer her a new narrative around tears and sadness, as I see more and  more how her longings and tears are the doorway to our desires for life.

She cried. She let go into me, resting more into the pain in her heart. It felt beautiful. It feels like the beginning of a new relationship, except this one is just with me. I want all of her because I know how much she has held alone, how much wisdom she holds because of that. I feel how deeply she loves when she is welcomed in all of who she is, and how the pain of not being welcomed has broken her heart open to life.

I sense some deeper layers of heartbreak arising, feeling the pain of relationships that didn’t work out and the times it has felt to her that people wanted her but only certain parts of her. The feeling of not being wanted in her fullness touches these tender tears. There is a growing sense of gratitude to those people who weren’t ready for all of her. I am a stronger woman because of it, who feels love for and loved by every aspect that makes up this expression of me. I no longer have to be more than or less than. I can be me, this beautiful bliss mess embodied as a woman. Trusting that as I love myself and see myself more and more, I will attract others who can only show up for the same.

Love,

Deya x

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

The Gift Of Humility And Gratitude

Published on by Gabriel Amara1 Comment

Yesterday was the first time I had been in a SoulFullHeart group space for a few months. While in one way it felt like yesterday, it was also a huge gap for parts of me that have been in deep feeling space and processing over that time. This is such evidence of how we live on many different dimensions at once and time is just does not have a standard trajectory, nor is real in many ways.

My movement with my masculine and reptilian self two days prior really felt to pave the way for this reunion. I could feel some nervousness and doubts from parts of me that I would be at that frequency to be able to vibe into the coherence. This of course is one big projection of my own lack of worth that I have been working on since I parted in January.

However, through the process that I had, I felt a clearing inside of me that ‘moulted’ away the layer that was holding this reaction and energy. I could feel myself more in the space as Gabriel, the being that really never left yet has come back with a new relationship to himself and the world around him. That difference, I noticed last night, was that of authentic humility and gratitude.

These two emotional grounds are the result of the self-love and deep, wounded ego healing that I went through while I was away. I could feel a reverence of the space, the beloveds in front of me, but more importantly the reverence and care for myself that had been cultivated during this time. I felt my parts being held by me and leaning into the goodness that was alive in the space. There was no self-judgement or comparison going on that seemed to run underground in the past.

I felt who I was and where I was in the ‘order’ of things and felt so very present to the goodness of that. Not trying to be anything I wasn’t. This is all that has ever been asked of me, yet I hadn’t asked of it from myself. This time I have and it felt palpably different. I have to owe all of that shift to parts work and my own dedication to it. Even if things were to shift at some point and I find myself on my own again, I have a me that can’t leave me. I would go through grief, for sure, but I would not perish or suffer.

It is with this humility and gratitude that I can ride the waves of what the universe bestows upon me whether it be as a collaborator, a support system, a facilitator, or all three! I know this is where I belong in whatever fashion. This is my family, my community, and my way of life. And for that it was all worth it.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a Facilitant and Collaborator with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Stewarding Your Future Self Through Feeling

Published on by Raphael Awen1 Comment

‘You can have whatever you want, if you’re willing to really let the want live in you, change you, move you.’

This is the message that comes to me as I tune in my future self. It’s a lot to let in, isn’t it?

Our ability as a consciousness to host both desire and despair is one of the most unique things about our being. The life each of us has at present is very much formed of our desire and our despair, often however, without our conscious awareness. Even in our sleep we are creators.

If this is true, then getting familiar and relational with both our desire and our despair is profound life altering work. It’s also the kind of work that is so good that no aspect of it really wants to be skipped over to get to the destination. It’s the journey that our soul signed up for, because it always has had and never actually lost the destination.

If that’s true, then how do we become relational with our desire and despair to the point of being a conscious creator?

It’s kind of like the disillusioned couple sitting down to have finally have the heart to heart discussion they’ve been avoiding, previously hoping would just take care of itself somehow. Simply being honest first with oneself, then being trans-‘parent’ with another parents a new reality into being. Old completions and new beginnings are allowed to flow. Using one another to stay stuck and sequestered from life let’s go.

But all this can happen inside of you – you to you. You can feel the polarized parts of yourself each holding to different desires as well as undigested despairs. You choosing this emotional exploration inside is the true leadership you’ve been waiting and wanting to inhabit for yourself. This is high level ambassador work that truly changes the life you are currently living.

If feeling this awakens your desire and despair, then I feel you can take that as a sign that your future self is wanting your attention. Your own knower knows this is true. Now it’s just a matter of responding to it.

*****

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

Separation Facilitates Reconciliation

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

The last thing you want right now is to be perfectly centered.

Airplanes reach their destinations by continually going off course and then course correcting. It’s the wobbling through center and coming back, just like each stroke on a bicycle that affords us balance and forward propulsion.

We actually need the deviation as much as the correction – both are sacred and both are necessary. You and I are holy deviants who have deviated out from love and light even into darkness and hatred to whatever degree we needed to as a soul, on behalf of love, and as love, so that we could experience reconciliation.

Separation facilitates reconciliation. And it’s in the transaction of love being reconciled to itself that it obtains the prize it set out for in the first place.

You can feel this inside yourself and in the collective, both, especially as we prepare for the revelation phase of darkness coming to light.

Remember, love never lost, hence no need for any holy war, not inside or outside.

*****

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.