Tag: parts process

FREE PDF of Jelelle Awen’s book, Under The Bloated Banyan, available today!

Published on by Raianna Shai2 Comments

Jelelle is sharing today as a FREE GIFT PDF her spiritual memoir called Under The Bloated Banyan: My Journey From Awakening To Disillusionment Within a High-Demand Spiritual Group.

“Banyan covers a six year span of time starting in December 2003 where I began my awakening journey through parts work process in earnest. It also shares my courtship and dating and eventual marriage with Raphael after we both left the group together in 2008. None of my soul family friends and teacher would talk with me after this time and I also gave up my livelihood as a facilitator of the work. This was such a bittersweet time. Falling in love while it felt like so much of my life and who I felt that I was connected to the group falling apart. I learned so much during and after this time about myself, parts of me, my Metasoul legacy, and what kind of leader/teacher/healer I wanted to be and NOT be.

The content in Banyan (I first published it for a couple of years in 2013) was once controversial and very vulnerable for parts of me to share this story as many people still in the group (and once my beloved soul family) judged and criticized me for sharing it. Now, the group has been dissolved for a few years, so there is less charged sense about sharing it again. This phase of my journey now feels like a movie, something that happened to someone else in some ways, an alternative timeline. I can feel the parts of me that have since healed from being so self conscious, anxious, drawn to dysfunctional and even abusive relationships. Yet, still, it lives in my heart as very real and, of course, my sacred union connection ground with Raphael began in these soils.

It feels timely to share this story too as the collective moves from spiritual/religious codependency models such as the guru-devotee to the sovereign “I” experiencing Unity Consciousness within a community with healthy leadership. I think you will find this story interesting if you have been curious about what it is like to be in an intense high-demand group and esp. If you have drawn this experience yourself this life or just are curious to feel and know more about my personal journey. Plus, ultimately, this is an inspiring story about love and how it prevails and is often revealed during the most dark and difficult circumstances!”

You can purchase this book in e-book and print editions too, as well as her other three books here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/books

You can read an excerpt here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/under-the-bloated-ban…

 

~

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation…more information here. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

A Peek Into The SoulFullHeart Process: Gatekeeper Edition

Published on by Raianna Shai2 Comments

By Raianna Shai

I recently felt the desire within myself to write and share more often. I felt into what it is that my heart could offer in order to serve with passion and curiosity and not out of duty or obligation. Then I came to the conclusion that closest to my heart is my personal process. In some moments I feel that I can teach and offer clarities, but what’s most prominent for me in this moment is my parts process. I’m sure there are many who are curious about what the SoulFullHeart process entails, how it is unique to each person, and how it can shift and change your reality, so I wanted to provide some answers for those questions.

I’m not at the very beginning of this process as I’ve been doing about a year and a half of sessions now, but the beautiful thing about it is that we’re kind of all beginners, all the time. Our souls are so vast and deep that it seems would could be discovering more about it for the rest of our lives. But the biggest shifts seem to happen in the beginning, when 3D is being let go of and we begin to know our parts and gain trust with them and the Divine.

I’ve let go of a lot of 3D. Relationships, jobs, certain ways of living. I’m at the point in my process now where I’m breaking more and more into 4D and 5D. Discovering more of my soul and metasoul rather than this-life experiences. The beginning of that journey has been connecting with what we call a Gatekeeper. You can read more about them here and more about 3D/4D/5D here.

My Gatekeeper’s name is Pandora. I connected with her many months ago, thinking of her as a Protector rather than something more multidimensional. Feeling her now, she has revealed herself to be the guardian of my soul – particularly the darker and more somber metasoul timelines.

In my last session, Kalayna and I visited her where she lives etherically. She was open to the visit and showed us the “bunker” that she lived in. It was dark, dreary and had a feeling of deep sadness that made the air seem thicker. To me it felt like a tombstone, full of death and sorrow and pain. She had a separate room for her Pandora’s Box where it felt like she kept my metasoul connections. I felt martyrdom in her – this feeling of protecting me from any shadow in my soul by holding and feeling it all herself. Like jumping on a bomb to save me.

But I didn’t wish her to hold onto that at all! In fact, it kept me from feeling and healing those parts of my soul so that they could transmute into love. But I understood how she couldn’t trust me to be big enough to hold all of that quite yet. I still had some healing to do with my parts and maybe I still have a bit more left. Kalayna asked if there was anywhere else we could take her, somewhere lighter, somewhere she enjoyed and we could breathe.

So we left the bunker and right outside was hill with a giant and ancient tree sitting on top. I felt her familiarity with this tree as a place of sanctuary for when she was feeling more open. I could feel then how much she suffered over her own suffering, which inspired to be the soul big enough to heal this shadow for the both of us.

My Inner Teenager Ariana and Inner Child Raia were waiting excitedly for us at the top of the hill under the great tree. I felt a relief in Pandora after many tears and feeling the joy and purity of Ariana and Raia. She finally allowed herself to be felt and understood, and we finally had the trust between us to support the process with love.

What felt like something so small – just simply listening to and feeling this aspect of myself – opened out a whole new world of potential soul and emotional healing. I can’t give enough testimonials to this work which dives so deeply into YOU like so little else can. There’s so much left for me to feel, heal, discover, and love up so I hope you’ve enjoyed letting this in and my parts and I look forward to sharing more!

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, retreats, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Feeling Self Love Inside To Experience It In Relationships

Published on by Jelelle Awen2 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

ambassadorship

This push and pull, this ‘tug of war’. You can wear out your hands and hearts engaging this way with each other. This energy puts you on one side and them on the other. This energy creates division lines and walled up fortresses. It creates stances and lock downs. It can only be ‘against’ rather than ‘with’.

Moving into a ‘with’ in relationships of all kinds brings you into love together rather than polarizing each other with fear.

This can only happen on the outside, with other people…..as it is happening on the INside within you. Where there is a tug of war from one part of you to another…your Inner Punisher and your Inner Teenager (for example) or your Inner Protector and your Inner Mother/Father…..so, it will manifest on the outside.

How can you be different in a relationship with someone else than you have been in relationship with parts of yourself? Where would this new and spacious and healthy way of relating with others come from if it is struggling to happen inside of you? Why would others draw a healthier way of relating if the putting down, self punishing, guarding, suppressing energies are occurring from one part of you to another?

INside is where the empowerment is. INside is where the ambassadorship of offering love to ALL parts of you has the most traction and can go in the deepest. INside is where the gifts of your empathy, your healing, your compassion can be received the most fully.

AS that ambassadorship happens deeply, offering love to ALL parts of yourself, so then, it overflows outwards and DRAWS those who can resonate with these frequencies as well. Their self love resonance overflows to mingle and mix with yours. This then is healthy relating. This becomes less co-dependence based on parts grabbing and pushing on each other and is more interdependence….two healthy ‘I’s’ dancing to the music of their healing hearts and souls.

~

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, Divine Feminine and Masculine, emotional body integration through parts work, quantum healing through Metasoul Aspect connection, sacred union, light body transformation, and much more!

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions and a free intro session, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Understanding Why You May Settle, Shrink And Stay Safe: Connecting With Your Inner Protector

Published on by Jelelle Awen2 Comments
By Jelelle Awen
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That which you settle for is that which you will draw MORE of. When parts of you settle, you are telling the Universe that what you currently have and are experiencing is enough for you. Even if another part of you (your higher self coming into your consciousness) feels desires and passions for more…more love, more intimacy, more fulfillment, more soul passion expression…..if you are settling in ANY area of life for less than that, you will draw more of it until all parts of you are truly done with less and lack.

This can be confusing to navigate until you can acknowledge that there are different parts of you that want different things, have mixed feelings and resistances, and are in often direct polarity to each other. To just say that ‘you’ want something and have a desire for more is actually only half of the picture (or less as often parts make up most of our conscious personalities until they are differentiated.)

One part of you (usually what we call in SoulFullHeart the Inner Protector) is ‘in charge’ of keeping you safe and out of harm and from getting hurt. The Inner Protector has been tasked with this since you were a young child as you were too innocent, pure, and vulnerable for the 3D world and the harsh and polarizing energies here. If you also experienced abusive frequencies as a child, then the Inner Protector had to be on ‘double duty’ to protect you. This Protector is reticent and fearful for you to have MORE love in your life as you might lose it and suffer more hurt. Really, it relates to you like a reluctant, over worked teenager would, tasked with watching over a bunch of kids (you). It doesn’t much care what your desires are for change and transformation, as it’s main goal is to keep you safe (despite yourself, it would say.)

The Protector is just FINE with settling, especially in relationships, as to want more is just too risky. Another way this settling of the Protector can show up is in withdrawing from social and relationships completely and being in a lone wolf phase. This can be a sacred phase of reboot when you are pulling out of 3D relationships, especially, but lingering too long here then leads to suffering which leads to isolation, acute loneliness, despair, and even suicidal feelings from other parts of you that NEED connection with others. It seems crazy, but the Protector would rather you (and other parts of you) feel ALL these emotions then to risk you getting hurt again in relationships, especially if there is ACTUAL soul resonance in them. Even if your heart and soul are awakening and aching for more love, more intimacy, to serve love, etc., your Protector (and other parts too) can be countering these desires going out to the Universe by keeping you stuck and settling OR isolated and alone (which is still a form of settling actually.)

I am sharing about this from my own experience of my Inner Protector and how this energy shows up…and also from seeing and feeling this dynamic in many other people over the years in sessions. The key to moving this in order to DRAW the more that your Awakening Self wants is through negotiation with your Protector. To feel and hear and get WHY they are concerned, scared, and resistant to this movement. There are always good reasons for this protection, usually stemming from undigested childhood trauma yet, also, from other lifetimes. Just because you cannot consciously remember (or maybe don’t want to remember) these traumatic incidents and events doesn’t mean that don’t impact your daily life in the now. These traumas and karma dramas remain stuck there and energizing STRONGLY, even if you are not consciously as aware of them. To offer compassion to these woundings and the parts that hold them is what moves them through the increasing awareness and consciousness and separation too.

We’ve spent the last couple of months in SoulFullHeart designing and creating a specific process to navigate this ground with you through weekly sessions with one of us (me, Raphael, Gabriel or Kalayna) to get to know your 3D self that is still anchored to 3D life through these undigest emotional places to begin negotiation with them in order to shift into MORE love in all areas of your life. We also connect with your Inner Protector, Inner Teenager, Inner Mother/Father, Inner Punisher/Critic, and Inner Child. Plus, there is a 4D self/soul awakening path and process that opens out after that the 3D self focused one where we go into all kinds of fascinating and interesting places within your Metasoul to heal on a quantum level LIFETIMES worth while you receive the gifts of soul consciousness expansions.

We provide you with specific writing and reading processes to engage with every week, so you can lean into that with a sense for you (and parts of you) that you are being held by something and headed somewhere. I am very proud of this process as it is the result of 15 years of personal dedication to awakening and specifically emotional body healing integration with spirituality. Also, it was created out of witnessing hundreds of people engage in this kind of parts work emotional body integration process over the years. I know of no other program or process like it as it is truly unique and progressive. You can read more about the process and our free intro session here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess

Here is more to read about parts and Metasoul aspects too: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

To change ANYTHING on the outside first begins from the transformation on the inside. It cannot change otherwise. The strong ascension energies that are available right now are here to support and hold space for this inner journey. To make it safe and filled with lots of love to GO where it has previously felt too frightening, foggy, or unknown to go inside of ourselves….at the emotional body level AND the soul. With this inner connection with parts of yourself, you find that you are no longer settling in ANY areas of your life. A sense of MORE is how you feel inside as you feel new flows of self love open out from within.

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond.

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Feeling Held In The Arms Of Gaia

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

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Staring at my Facebook app ready to type, the words “What’s on your mind?” are at the top of the text box.

“I am not sure what is ‘on’ my mind, but I did want to feel what is in my heart.”

“Ah…okay. Well, maybe that is coming in the new update.”

UPdate. Yes. That is what is happening. A date with UP. This particular one has felt a bit removed from a part of me. Like a far off mirage of glittering jewels, or a chocolate croissant. (Yeah, I don’t know. Who knows what is coming out of me today.) There are times when it can seem like you are riding the wave and other times you can’t get on the damn surfboard.

I am aware that is a part of me. However, that does not invalidate what is real. It is the truest thing in the moment. There are many changes occurring, much that is being offered to let in, digest, and integrate. To this part of me, it feels like it is more than he is capable of showing up for. It is an invitation to come out of the shadows and accept more of a role in what is occurring on a planetary level.

So I take him to the one place that I know may bring some air and connection. Nature. In the arms of Gaia. There he is held and remembered. Given a reboot. A kiss on the 6th and a massage on the 7th. She knows what to do. The spine resting on Her sandy shore while She whispers and spins stories of Now.

“Feel the flow of this moment, my son. The breeze that carries your new and releases your treasured old. The changes of the fallen vestiges of what was held so dear. Call upon your strengthening desire for more. Look UP, dear one. You are not lost, just afraid. It is okay. Just Be. Be with it, feel it, love it. That is your portal, my love.”

The moment becomes this place of preparation. A tilled ground awaiting its seed. All else is left as the mulch of its pregnant emergence. She is with me still in the Still. Absorbing Her love into my being, nourishing this part that has found a rest and going on place.

Your heart needs an open space to let in all that wants to shift and emerge inside of you. Give it the environment it needs to help that along. Deep rest. Deep connection. More IS here and in the way. Loving yourself and your parts is the best way to let that in.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

My Magical Experience Of Sacred Union Through The SoulFullHeart Process

Published on by Jelelle Awen2 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

r and I kiss

This man….this soul choosing to BE in life with me. As partners in this dance of feeling and healing. As co-creators of a vocation that offers a service of love with others that arises as a genuine passion. As journeyers into the depths of ourselves and all the aspects that live inside of us. As co-integrators of shadows that live in our Metasouls and our counterpart pairings in different timelines: Lemuria, Atlantis, ‘ancient Greece’, Arcturian, and more.

This kind of partnership is not what we have been conditioned to believe about relationships in 3D life. 3D offers us not templates of two souls moving into health in ALL areas of their lives individually AND together…yet rather examples of unhealed and congested wounded places inside of each of them that often clash and burn or cling and bind….. until whatever love they had between them runs out of ground.

More scared unions than sacred unions are these, formed from undifferentiated parts of the 3D self ‘hooking up’ with each other. These hookups can look like two Inner Protectors guarding and ‘fighting’ each other; an Inner Matriarch (wounded masculine in the woman) with the Inner Patriarch (wounded masculine in the man); and many others. We need these reflections in others (that includes all relationships actually, with birth family esp.) until we no longer do in the same way.

The TRUE authentic selves, the higher selves coming into body of each partner may not claim much space on the dance floor of the relationship as it is so rarely safe enough INSIDE to allow for this overflow of genuine expression to come out. Lust then supplements for awhile and karma drama from other lifetimes and timelines, all without much consciousness around it. Duty and obligation can come in there too, along with needs to feel safe and secure.

This can be the experience of polarity and push-pull in 4D relationships. There is this sense of soul mating, of soul resonance, of belonging together in 4D consciousness around relationships. There are moments of genuine connection and even grounded bliss. Moments where two hearts can feel each other. Two bodies can connect with each other. And, yet, there is still the unfelt 3D stuff/wounding that anchors each partner into suffering loops and patterns. It anchors them into moments of fusion with 3D parts of themselves again. They go up and down in this unconscious cycle of push-pull together and the ceiling of good will, respect, and mutuality often crashes down around them eventually.

With Raphael, over our nine years together, I experience that we can navigate the murkier grounds of reactions and triggers together WHILE maintaining a larger container of love and goodness in the process. We don’t avoid what is in shadow or what is difficult. We don’t float in bliss together at all times (although many times we do, especially when we experience deep heart openings that come from moving through something difficult and come out the other side of it with MORE love.) We have been able to show up in relationship with each other this way because we have shown up for ourselves and parts of us in this way. With curiosity, we hold space for the energies that move through us. We feel them as very distinct and even commonly definable parts of ourselves that we have felt in so many others too.

Raphael and I can sit in conflict and tension together, as we did the other day for almost eight hours. Not to suffer in this space or to ‘beat each other up’ emotionally. Yet, rather, because we honor the energies inside and in our Metasouls that NEED this space to express and be relationally with an intimate other person and soul. The trust and love ground that we have between us and inside of us and in the Divine holds the space. We stay in the room together through it, allowing, and BEing with the fears that can live inside about the relationship completing, running out of ground, etc. Yet, we find the next going on place together and the next….AS we are willing and open to let go EVEN AS we are deeply committed to the union.

This IS possible through the parts work process, through the SoulFullHeart way of life and process that we offer and have been very deeply, personally engaged with for ten years. This understanding and feeling space that we create inside with parts of ourselves allows for the transaction together in an increasingly high frequencies of soul, body, heart, and mind AND integration of shadow too.

Someone commented the other day when I shared a joy moment that came after more Metasoul pairing integration with Raphael, ” I love how you’re really doing this – for real!” Yes, we really are and so can you….starting from inside of you, creating an inner sacred union with ALL aspects of yourself…..and this eventually drawing the your mate of soul, body, heart, and mind to be in it WITH you too!

~

Raphael’s comment on this post: “The challenge that arose between us a few days ago that Jelelle refers to was for me the most challenging yet, encountering a part of myself that has lived in my shadow…, something I don’t think would arise were it not for an intimacy as deep and ‘strange’ as ours. I say strange because the intimacy and magic I have and do experience with Jelelle still feels incomparable to a part of me, incomparable to anything I’ve seen or known or saw portrayed. I’ve tended to feel that strange magic in very private places, feeling also the vulnerability of it ending.
Now the universe is inviting us to self permit ourselves to offer to serve others in leading with what we have in deep transparency, feeling how opaque leaders and murky spiritual offerings are a thing of the past for so many souls now.
And….I’m feeling a ton of relief to be coming out the other side of an intense integration, or to the beginning of an integration in another way…
We are all being invited to a place where our life’s message is ‘I am the real thing, and if I ever feel less than that, I’ll be the first to admit that’.”

 

~

We offer a FREE 30 minute introductory session with us to get a sense for how the SoulFullHeart process could apply to you, your life, your desires, your frustrations, the parts inside that want and need you:soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

This photo was taken during an energy session with Raphael where I acted as midwife in moments, teacher in moments, student in moments, lover in moments, friend in moments….such is the multidimensional way we are with each other..

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond.

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Energy Update: Revelation, Healing, And Integration Of Shadow Frequencies

Published on by Jelelle Awen2 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

embracing-shadow-self

The energies ARE personal. As personal as it gets as you ARE energy. You are a multidimensional, galactic BEing inside of a human form. You are connected to higher dimensional expressions, star BEing aspects of your Metasoul (soul source). You are BEcoming and merging with the consciousness of these star BEings from other timelines, other dimensions, other planets, other galaxies more and more in a process that is MEANT to impact you personally as this happens.

Does it feel sometimes like the ascension energies are outside of you?  The gateways and vortexes opening? The stargates activating? The sun flares and geomagnetic storms churning? Does it feel like these things are happening outside of you in a distant, vast, and irrelevant outer space with little impact on your daily reality? If so, this can lead to a sense of distancing from the ascension process and that it is less meaningful on a personal level.

All of these energies swirling around in the cosmos, all this galactic activity, is also represented inside of you. Making it personal, taking it personally, is where I feel the REAL gift of awareness about cosmic energies comes in and goes in. Connecting what is happening ‘out there’ with how it is impacting your emotional body, your process, your experience of experience leads to more self awareness and capacity to digest what is happening. Providing some context and overall picture to hold what you are living out can help with the digestion of the experience.

There is A LOT happening in the now, in the cosmos, that impacts us as a collective and on a personal basis. It is a major phase of transition for us as the shadows, the darkness, the underground and underbelly, are disclosed and exposed. There is no ‘going around’ this process as what has been so polarized during the 3D experiment needs to come back into balance. The only way is by going through it with manifestations of chaos, upheaval, and death and rebirth happening through intense weather patterns and political/social/cultural crises.

Finding our balance again requires the revealing and eventual release of the dark energies that have had so much underground influence on our culture and the formation of our 3D self AND on our Metasoul too. Making this process personal is feeling and BEing with the traumas created from all this polarization to fear-based frequencies. These traumas can remain undigested in your emotional body in your 3D self AND also in your Metasoul through repeating loops of suffering patterns and cycles and karmic binds.

All the photonic light generation activities in the cosmos creates a SAFE container for the revelation and healing of this shadow on a collective and personal level. The HIGH frequencies provide a padded room for the bombs to explode when needed; the fuses to ignite; the storms to roar….until they run out of fear to fuel them. This padded room of pure love and light is also provided to YOU as a shield from these necessary outgasses. You can connect with your safe padded place through meditation, through connection with your Ethereal guides/aspects, through commUNION with the Divine (and the Divine Mother esp.), through service of love, through BEing in relationships that are nourishing, soul resonant, through drawing the support that you need. Through our SoulFullHeart process, we provide a heartline through aprocess for you to explore the aspects of your 3D and 4D selves, your shadow, your Metasoul/other lifetime expressions: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess

This doesn’t mean that you transcend out of whatever necessary shadow revealing and integrating process that you need to go through. Yet, rather, you have a sense of being held WHILE you are in this exploration. You are not just becoming the shadow or the darkness OR suppressing it either (that is the old way), yet you are holding space FOR the aspects and parts of you that are overly polarized to it. You get to know and connect with these aspects and invite them into the safe, padded room of your HEART and soul, where they can finally feel safe to share, to be felt, and to BEcome something real….and, eventually, then to heal.

As you digest the shadow revelation that is happening ‘out there’ feel how it is impacting you on a personal level. Feel your reactions inside to what comes out. Feel if your ‘safe padded room of love and light’ is available and if you are using it. Feel what support you need to navigate your own process of shadow revelation. Feel the taking of it all personally and what that means for you in a way that also allows you to FEEL held by love during the process. Feel the integration that wants to happen inside of you as the shadow meets the sun of love and finally finds it way home in your heart.

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond.

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

The INpression Of Our Care-Givers: Feeling And Healing Our Inner Mother and Father

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

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by Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri

In the process of getting to “Know Thyself”, one actually finds the mirror you stare into splits into multiple lenses from which to truly see what makes you tick. You are many selves within the container of a more holistic integrated being. We live in the dimension of the “separate yet whole”. The minute you left Divine Source and popped out of the womb you landed in the field of “this and that” without totally being aware of it until you had enough time to be taught and to experience the depth of this perception of reality.

You landed in the arms of caregivers that you chose as a soul, to be reflectors of the world you landed in. They were the ones, or the one, that you were meant to learn from about yourself and life, for a particular phase of time until it was time to learn on your own. They are the single greatest imprint into our psyche and heart, next to community and society at large. The way they reacted or didn’t react to you, to themselves, and to the world established an emotive and mental ground inside of you that helped to form your own version of yourself.  Whether in rebellion against or in conforming to.  The relationship with and between each parent or caregiver created a pattern inside of you in subtle and not-so-subtle ways.

Over time, this energetic relationship created a space inside of yourself that has informed many decisions in regards to so many aspects of your life.  It is an Inner Mother and Father that forms in your emotional body that carries so much data about your 3D Self and how it has found itself surviving and expressing in the world and in relationship. For women, it can express as a wounded and masculinized matriarch that is protecting the more still and sensitive Yin nature of her essence in order to survive in a still rather patriarchal world. For men, it is the expression of the controlling and aggressive patriarch or the suppression of the more vulnerable and tender parts of them.

Either way, it is a way to feel your own participation in playing out the wounded masculine picture of the world as it still largely is and has been. There is an entire lineage and legacy you carry within you, that doesn’t only begin with your birth family, as of course culture and country have influence too. Your parents learned from their parents and found their way however parts of them felt it was best for them and their own consciousness level. Choosing to feel yourself and how this lives within you by your own choice of whether or not to go into it and heal it, puts you in the seat of immense inner power to move beyond it and influence future generations to do the same.

This Inner Mother and Father can hold influence over many other aspects of your 3D Self, such as your Inner Teenager and Inner Child. They are our own versions of how we took in our caregivers. Beginning a relationship with them internally can lead to a vast new experience of ourselves that we never really knew we had, as we have been unconscious of it to the degree we needed to be in order to keep that relationship intact. If there is no external relationship to your parents, the internal still exists until it is felt as a separate part of you that can foster healing, integrating, and an unanchoring of the 3D Self into higher frequencies.  If there is still a external relationship, there may be a necessary phase of separation from them so that you can fully feel what it is that lies inside that is authentically you and what is the internal manifestation of them. Some parts of you may feel as if you are ‘abandoning’ your family/parents and that this is wrong and contemptible. Yet there is no absolute here or even a vow of ‘forever’ being out of contact with them. The space you take simply allows the truths of the relationship to arise and gives you what you need in order to feel yourself and your parts in who you have been and who you want to become.

Getting to know and feel your Inner Mother and Father will lead you to your own connection to your sovereignty of being that is no longer connected to those who ushered you into this 3D life. It will help to let go of the binds and grinds that have kept your 3D Self in the swirl of this deeply impressionable and sacred relationship. As you become a parent to your inner parents you gain a whole new perspective that integrates all the power and gifts they gave you and leave the rest behind on your growing journey into the lands of your healing heart and ascending soul. Plus, in the name of the exponential service of love, you get to become the new template, piece by piece and part by part, for how the new dance of the masculine and feminine gets to arise in this purging, healing, and shifting world.

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Kalayna Colibri and Gabriel Heartman will each write more specifically about the Inner Mother and Father as it relates to the specific genders and how it has informed and affected their personal healing process and relationships. 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  

Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

It’s Ok Not To Be Ok: Feeling Your Emotions During Ascension Video W/Jelelle Awen

Published on by Jelelle Awen1 Comment

By Jelelle Awen

https://youtu.be/ElvuywVrC2c

I felt to offer a video this morning in follow up to the writing I offered yesterday……It’s Ok Not To Be Ok. I speak more about the self permission to feel, to be real, to be vulnerable, to see these as sacred and supported by our spiritual processes and an important aspect of ascension too! our 3D culture doesn’t often give us permission to feel our feelings and emotions, instead medicated them or using distractions to feeling or focusing only on the positive ones (this often happens in spirituality). Someone commented yesterday that this message cannot be offered enough and that feels true to me too!

And, for info about a free intro session and a description of the SoulFullHeart process that we offer and more about the specific parts I mention in this video too, you can go here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess

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Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond . Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about a FREE intro session with a SoulFullHeart facilitator, group calls, videos, retreats, etc.

Our Inner Teenager: The Heart And Soul Of Our 3D Self

Published on by Gabriel Heartman3 Comments

 

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The Land of Confusion.  The volatile teenage heart. These are the years of many of our intense experiences with our fading childhood and impending entry into adulthood. These are the times that many of us can go back to and see a scene that our inner teenager lives in.  Those poignant moments that this part of us still lives in that shifted the direction of their life and has yet to fully process it all.  So many different social and familial pressures that left us in a state of tug of war…or just plain war. Those on the healing journey are on it to recover from these very times. Those very moments still burned into the lining of our heart. They are the heart and soul of our 3D Self.

Our inner teenager houses so much of our passion, desire, and dreamer.  Many chose to roll down the rebel road and set fire to whatever could be set fire to, looking for anything that was real in a very unreal world. Others found themselves playing by the rules, suppressing anything that would go against the direction of the greater wave of what was expected of them.  Then there were the in-betweens, never quite comfortable with either. This part of us is so prevalent in our lives.  Without a mature template to walk us through the valley of this very trying time we were left with an imprint that carries on to this day in the way we hold our own 3D health and maturity.

The inner teenager can be seen in our rebellion and our conformity.  It can be found in our relationships and our sexuality.  In the way we need to be by ourselves or the need to be with others.  They are in the closed door bedroom with headphones on, or in the late night party trying to see if they will be noticed by anyone “important” or “hot”. They may even be the default parent and is nowhere close to being like the “others”.  All of this is a part of their heart story that is so needing and wanting to be felt in the depths by someone who is able to deal with the gravity and levity of a teenager.

Going into the world of our inner teenager brings us closer the passion, imagination, and creativity we had to set aside for various reasons.  It is about feeling the loss of innocence that led us to so much serious. They are the bridge from our youth to our maturity.  They are truly seers of new worlds. Healing our inner teenager brings a new vision of life that has technicolor rad-ness and infinite vision.  It brings a joy and lightness that seeks to learn and have fun at the same time. So not like school!

My inner teenager wants to say, “It was never about what I wanted to be when I ‘grew up’, it was about what I was feeling about myself in the moment that mattered most. Having someone I respected feel it with me, not to fix me, just to feel me. I just wanted to live and experience life from place that I felt comfortable in my own skin and didn’t have to impress upon anyone to be accepted, for I hadn’t accepted myself. I wanted know what real masculinity was that wasn’t false bravado. I wanted to know what true love really was that wasn’t based in what I had or didn’t have. I just wanted to feel the courage to be me and not an image to hide behind.”

The gifts abound form this relationship within and we can find ourselves being the parent our inner teenager always wanted us to be, even as we are being challenging with a compassionate heart. The healed teenager integrates into our maturing heart and leads us to new vistas of brave new worlds they always wanted to visit.

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.