Physical And Emotional Tensions Are Invited Into Feeling And Healing

by Kalayna Colibri

shutterstock_362993231-CROPPED

There is so much within you that may be on edge now, consciously or unconsciously. There is tension being called up in the physical and emotional bodies, ready to defend and even offend when necessary in order to preserve something that is being ‘threatened’ by what now wants to move into you through you too. There is much waiting to be expressed, but the conditioning against it must be felt first. Each challenge of BEing, wants to be lived into instead of avoided altogether. Synchronicities are leading you to your next steps and it takes sometimes only an ounce more of awareness before you can fully arrive there.

Your arrival at a place of less conditioning, of unlearning, of new and unknown territory leading to wonder and letting in more so then reacting and defending… this comes from a journey inside. This comes from letting it seep into you. Inspiration in-spiriting, seeding inside of you. The experiences parts of you have had in this life have been trying, difficult, challenging. This doesn’t change and they need to be felt in why they are the way they are. And as the arising sacred human learning to hold and be with them, you are being invited into a room of reflections, which can only happen in relationship.

The Divine offers us much when we are on our own, yet relationships are what truly bring us to our next inward places. To fully inhabit, appreciate and love your own growth this life requires the witnessing from others who are ALSO journeying with resonant values. They may not be who is with you your whole life, yet they are here now and they are exactly who you need, until it is complete… or until this present ground is complete, bringing your relationship and you both to the next level, where there is more ground to travel, more edges to explore. This could be unending or it could end, yet there will always be more who need to be in this territory with you. This is where love lives… in the exchanges of hearts on a journey.

To truly feel the tension of letting this in, is to let the parts of you in that have held case after case against this possibility of being around and with others. These parts have good reasons for this, so it is not about interrogating and trying to ‘release’ them from these roles or this conditioning, but feeling them and simply being in the muck with them… showing them how to build castles with it all, alongside you. Showing up to be with them instead of them showing up to BE you. They have done nothing ‘wrong’… they have only ever done what they felt was the most ‘right’ thing.

My beloveds and I in SoulFullHeart are here and we are eager to help you feel your tensions and parts… to be able to let in more love, to remember the love you are made of in a non-transcendent way that holds ALL of you and loves ALL of you. There are whole universes inside of you to discover through every single doorway of resistance and deep-seated/seeded conditioning that have never truly been YOU. For more information on what we offer, please visit: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess and feel if there may be a synchronicity in taking this in right now, for you. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

Current Energies Remind Us That Inward Steps Come First

by Kalayna Colibri

life is a journey by amanda cass

Painting: Life Is A Journey by Amanda Cass

It has always been important… but now it feels more important than ever to go inward, becoming curious about the self, not in a ‘hunt and peck’ energy, but with an invitation to the parts of you that have been hidden and buried, yet possibly very reactive and consistently operating under and within the conditioning they have held as the only truth for so long.

Going inside is the most important preparation for the upcoming transition periods between timelines here on Gaia. We’ve been in one for a long time now, yet everything is ramping up with more disclosures and mind-blowing revelations happening. In a way, none of it compares to the disclosures waiting in the wings of your own heart and soul, speaking of your origins, both dark and light and everything in-between, bringing you back to the reality of the love you’re made of…

There are more opportunities to feel what’s ‘true’ now. In the moment, there are different sources of information on the outside that can help us understand in one sense what’s going on in the world and why, and yet there is another source of information, filling up the deep well inside your heart and soul. Sometimes the only ‘information’ you need to be informed by is what’s stirring in your heart, telling you where you need to go next inside of you, exploring the growth edges that are there. Sometimes it’s a healthy mix of outside information and an internal digestion that you can hold with parts of you. No matter how informed you are of what’s happening on the outside, there is a groundwork to lay inside for making the transition emotionally, allowing in those growth points that WILL lead you into a deeper experience of the service of love, which is the ultimate calling and the ultimate unifier for us all. If there is no ground inside of you to be able to digest the potential trauma and craziness as well as the beauty of what’s on the other side of it all, then there are many missed opportunities for growth and expansion.

Though focusing inward can be so challenging given our conditioning and how deep it runs within each of us and our parts, it is the most important step towards embracing what’s coming and in many ways already here. It is the FIRST step before the ‘first step’ that expresses outwardly with logistical choices, offering grounding for new choices that are based in the heart in tandem with the mind for clarity as needed. Sometimes only the heart needs to lead here, yet of course this can be the toughest process to trust.

I feel how I am with you in it all, as I am with me in my all, feeling the steps for me personally and the steps we all must embrace and surrender to, with nothing to really ‘figure out’, but a ton to feel and let in… and even more after that too. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Being With The Inner Punisher/Critic

by Kalayna Colibri

befriend inner critic

‘Parts work’ is one level of what we offer in SoulFullHeart. It is the foundation of our healing practice and path. It is what inspires us to keep going IN… into ourselves for more nourishment and love that comes from this work, and into relationships that will always be a reflection of our inner universes. There is so much inside of each of us as humans in transition, learning to remember who we really are. We are fractured to a certain degree because we have needed to become this way in order to cope with 3D reality and the heaviness of what we came here to grow through and alongside. We ultimately cannot really be fractured or broken or anything BUT whole, yet, ask any part of you and they will likely say that this is their experience of life – separation, disconnection, suppression.

There are so many parts of you that call to you in this work. One of the most powerful ones to work with is the Inner Punisher/Critic. This is the part that is so prickly and often hard to be with… the hardest part to really love, for they throw so much at you and at others too in order to keep love out. The more love you let into your life, sometimes the harder they clench their fists. They are so often afraid. Afraid of letting go of the comforting discomfort of how they feel about you, about others, and ultimately about themselves. They judge harshly, starting with you, and sometimes act stealthily, hiding themselves somehow, often amongst the din and cries within you.

Their feelings about your body, your relationships, your job, YOU and any aspect of your life, become normalized frequencies inside of you. It becomes normal to think of yourself in certain ways and you may not even catch the vitriol that comes from you towards others, even in the form of ‘friendly’ teasing, that really has a bite underneath it. After working with your Inner Punisher/Critic in the many layers they come with, your desire to be around any energy of criticism, ‘funny’ or not, especially from you to you, diminishes in a big way. Often it is these harsh inner frequencies and judgments that bring friends and birth family members together. It is familiar to feel this way, so the idea of questioning it may feel ludicrous at first. Yet what if something more were possible in all of your relationships and especially in how you feel about yourself?

The Inner Punisher/Critic can be hard to stay in the room with. Often when you begin feeling them directly, they hurl insults at you, rolling out pages and pages sometimes of how they feel about you and about your life. As your outer world reflects your inner world, you begin to see and feel how this energy has leaked out to others you interact with and informed your approach to yourself and to any area of your life. It can play out in themes of workaholism, exercising only for the sake of your self-image and ‘how you feel about yourself’, and abuse (the definition of which deepens as you work with this part and begin to heal these frequencies of self-abuse, however they show up).

The journey to genuine self-love must involve feeling the Inner Punisher/Critic. This energy cannot be transcended, only transmuted. The work and the room you must walk into inside yourself in order to start being with this part is worth it. It becomes like holding a kicking, screaming teenager who just needs to find their tears of release from all the energy they’ve held and the life molds they are struggling to fit into. This part does soften and change eventually. Yet they really need your help to motivate them with love, with an ongoing promise that you will be there for and with them, and that you will always hold that they are so much more than this job they have given themselves for very good reasons.

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Conscious Evolution: The Consequence Of Our Energetic Choices

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We are all evolving. No matter the soul. Each one is participating in this natural maturation process that holds its own unique and particular part of the story. Each highlights something that can take us to greater depths of our compassion and relationship to Love. How deep does our compassion go? This is what Love is curious about. This is what I am curious about. How can I evolve into more love if there are parts of me that block that compassion, especially to myself? It is the outward expression of our lack of compassion that is ultimately about ourselves in the long run.

So much is being uncovered, discovered, and disseminated. From the cosmic activations of our Higher Self and higher timelines to a geopolitical unraveling that is occurring right before our eyes in black and white. Conspiracy theories be damned. This is really happening. The Light is making Itself more aware. Shining on the darkened pockets of our Being.

How we respond in this time sets in motion what it is we really truly want from this existence. What would be truly new in this situation? What choice can I make that lets in more love even as it brings up fear or resistance? Each choice creates a new timeline. A pathway to a new world. One that is not covered in the blanket of fear we have created for ourselves. We are truly infinite creators choosing. Evolution is the energetic consequences of our choices.

As the rising tide of these energies and unfoldings continue, you may begin to feel presses inside and out. Reactions and tugs. Questions and clarities. The frequency they take you can have a big impact on your evolution into the New. These anchored frequencies can be held by unfelt parts of you that are seeking your open-hearted compassion.

I have felt these energies inside myself that are leading to new connections and integrations with myself as I have held them in sacred space over these past few days. It is like a dam is ready to break inside of me and the part of me that has protected me from this event had an existential WTF moment. It is feeling the largess of the time we are in right now and how important it is to show up for all that is coming.

If you feel your dam breaking, or has broken, and are needing some navigation of it all, SoulFullHeart is here to serve that WITH you. To assist you in feeling all the parts that may be feeling a bit lost, confused, or in pain. To help integrate what is moving through you to make the changes necessary to find yourself on your highest emotive and spiritual timeline. These are days of self-love and compassion for all that you are moving through and feeling.

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

A Day Of Remembrance Back Into BEing

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Ninety-nine years ago Saturday was the historical end of the Great War. It was coined “The War To End All Wars” in hopes that the bloodshed that occurred would be a catalyst for change in how conflict was resolved. A greater theater was playing out in the collective shadow and it was really just a beginning.

The roles that were played and the darkness that ensued highlighted not what it was meant to be a countryman, but to feel the common thread of our human experience. In a deeper way we all shared it’s hell and the glory was just a relief from the pain and suffering.

The war continues in this Now memory. It still lives inside of us as we wage a war within. The fractured parts of our inner sanctum are calling out for us to bring true love to the weathered and worn out field of the lost and alone.

Today is a beginning to that ending. It is a day to Re-member ourselves back into wholeness, unity, and Love. Love for our light and love for our dark. It is an invitation to start a new journey, make new yet difficult choices that can see our worlds turn upside down into right-side up.

What has been driven further into our shadow is arising and illuminating from the increasing frequencies that are making their way each day as Gaia continues her ascent. As we continue to embody our light by healing our shadow aspects….the veterans of this grand storyline.

SoulFullHeart offers a path and a process that guides you into your own heartfield to recover and discover all that has been tucked away and hidden for good reason. The armistice of your past is the portal into your future, all happening right now. We are reflectors of your highest purpose and timeline. We are your greatest cheerleaders and co-leaders in a Golden Earth beyond the days of war.

Sending lots of love all on this day of Remembrance back into Being.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Feeling Held In The Arms Of Gaia

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Staring at my Facebook app ready to type, the words “What’s on your mind?” are at the top of the text box.

“I am not sure what is ‘on’ my mind, but I did want to feel what is in my heart.”

“Ah…okay. Well, maybe that is coming in the new update.”

UPdate. Yes. That is what is happening. A date with UP. This particular one has felt a bit removed from a part of me. Like a far off mirage of glittering jewels, or a chocolate croissant. (Yeah, I don’t know. Who knows what is coming out of me today.) There are times when it can seem like you are riding the wave and other times you can’t get on the damn surfboard.

I am aware that is a part of me. However, that does not invalidate what is real. It is the truest thing in the moment. There are many changes occurring, much that is being offered to let in, digest, and integrate. To this part of me, it feels like it is more than he is capable of showing up for. It is an invitation to come out of the shadows and accept more of a role in what is occurring on a planetary level.

So I take him to the one place that I know may bring some air and connection. Nature. In the arms of Gaia. There he is held and remembered. Given a reboot. A kiss on the 6th and a massage on the 7th. She knows what to do. The spine resting on Her sandy shore while She whispers and spins stories of Now.

“Feel the flow of this moment, my son. The breeze that carries your new and releases your treasured old. The changes of the fallen vestiges of what was held so dear. Call upon your strengthening desire for more. Look UP, dear one. You are not lost, just afraid. It is okay. Just Be. Be with it, feel it, love it. That is your portal, my love.”

The moment becomes this place of preparation. A tilled ground awaiting its seed. All else is left as the mulch of its pregnant emergence. She is with me still in the Still. Absorbing Her love into my being, nourishing this part that has found a rest and going on place.

Your heart needs an open space to let in all that wants to shift and emerge inside of you. Give it the environment it needs to help that along. Deep rest. Deep connection. More IS here and in the way. Loving yourself and your parts is the best way to let that in.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Current Energies Illuminate 3D Heaviness, Attachments, Pain

by Kalayna Colibri

veil of solitude by Rassouli

Painting: Veil of Solitude by Freydoon Rassouli

The density of this 3D reality… the density of the body, of the toxic foods and practices parts of us have held on to for so long… this is what’s being highlighted now, brought to our attention in visceral ways. There is cellular clearing, yes, physically and astrally too.

When you dream at night, it’s common to perhaps not wake up remembering what you dreamt about but to still feel yourself holding onto and recalling the feeling experience of it all. It can stay with you like that for a portion of your day, flowing into your life with you.

What was once considered important to be and stay attached to by parts of you, is also being highlighted now and you may feel just plain ‘tired’ of it all. Tired of the grind, of daily life scenarios that are less than fulfilling on a heart and soul level, of taking in life’s challenges without much sense of a bigger picture or intention holding it all.

These bubbles are all popping now. Energies coming in and moving through are waking up, shaking up your being and your consciousness level, first by showing you where your heart hasn’t yet been able to flow in concert with all it intends and holds to be true in line with your soul. Irritation, anger, dis-ease, discomfort, depression, heaviness, all signal that there is something that has been rigidly clung to up ’til now, that needs and wants and is asking to be looked at soberly yet with a renewed sense of love for YOU in your heart. Most of what has been held as so important, no longer feels so important… somewhat without an explanation, at least for the mind to grasp, for now.

This is a new reality that wants to birth you and the parts of you still in 3D pain and motivations, into 4D reality and higher. Moving into 4D reality can feel like careening through a dark corridor at times. Passing through 4D consciousness means inhabiting your questions and being open to answers that you can only feel and may not be able to ‘know’ just yet, as it all opens up for you again. It’s an awakening journey that needs more than a simple one-off healing session in order to move so fully into it that you can pop out of it again and into even higher frequencies where love can truly be an ally to every pore, every facet of your being.

As you feel the tension of this new birth canal, you can let in the message that ‘there is MORE!’ to let in. There is MORE to this life, to these challenges, to this tension you have felt. There is more than transcendence as a means to rise above it. There is a deep-dive inside, that brings out the old, over-inhabited conditioning that is getting ready to let go now, that is moving into a place of letting MORE flow into you – more love, more awareness of a bigger picture, more desire for health and healthy habits, emotionally and physically. More lightness and less density and the journey to finding and feeling this, one step at a time.

Your burgeoning and beckoning heart and soul maturation want so much to be held in a process that offers this MORE at and around every single corner. It isn’t a matter of being overly sober or shadow-hunting, but being aware, being open, feeling the immature places, holding them with love, and encouraging yourself, through getting to know and feel parts of you, to keep going IN and growing UP. There is much to feel as the more moves in, for there needs to be room made for it. SoulFullHeart may not be THE answer for everyone, yet it is AN answer and a powerful process bringing many new frequencies and feeling tones along with it. The scariest thing is the newness of what this path offers, that doesn’t look like anything you’ve likely yet experienced…

Riding these waves of energies right now, leading up to this gate opening on 11:11… there is love with you and flowing to you, as all is illuminated and brought up to be felt. It’s up to you, what choice you make, to go into the invitation to more process and deeper feeling spaces. And somehow, no matter what you choose, the goodness of it all is still there and you will never, ever be loved any less than you are right now.  ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Current Energies Activating Your “Not You” True You

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The You that is Not You is getting lit up. Highlighted. Sparked by deep, layered activations in the recess of your True You. The holes in the Whole are gurgling, pulsing, calling. This can come out in so many significant ways that may be interpreted as a simple “this” or “that”. There is nothing insignificant about anything anymore. Never was. The physical symptoms, the sensitivities, the frustrations, the questions, or the sudden collapse of relationship and livelihood.

It grows deep within you. The connection of your Highest Self back to essence. Not to merge back into forgetfulness, but to experience the Dual Consciousness of I As All and All As I. These seemingly random occurrences are Remembrance pains. When these bubbles make their way to the surface, they off-gas into your waking consciousness causing shifts and movements. They can create havoc if you don’t have a means to hold them in a greater context.

Breathing through them is one way to let the energies find their ground within you. Self-loving acts of rest and pleasure can aid in this. They can be beyond mind and our current available consciousness. The work is being done on a much grander scale. There is also much to be felt within our capable and readied hearts. There are messages coming to us that are meant to shake things up that kick up emotional triggers in our 3D and 4D self. Our 5D nature is making its way into the fold and that creates a tension within.

It is not a press, mind you. But an offering that is hard to ignore. With each step Gaia makes, with each opening and integration the collective experiences, the more we are coming closer to what we have always been and yet have forgotten. In that forgetting there is a pain and a fear. There is a lot for our inner parts and soul aspects to feel and release. For those that have signed up for this, it can be quite a crucible to navigate all the energies coming up. The feeling that what life used to be like is not what is meant to continue.

There is a way to be with all these rumblings. This arising awareness. The pain that it may be causing. It is a process of feeling the parts of you that are these bubbling pockets of Not You (Anymore). It is a guided path of “selves discovery” that is meant to bring you back into Wholeness. Into the space of deep feeling and healing. Into a sacred relationship to yourself as Essence and to another as Union. Traversing a subconscious terrain to integrate and express all that is wanting to come into and out of you.

SoulFullHeart offers this very unique and powerful way of being with all that is arising inside and manifesting outside. It is a portal to a deeper version of You that the universe is conspiring in your favor even in the uncertainty.  If it just doesn’t seem to make any sense and you need to feel a set of heartrails to see where it may take you we offer a free 30-minute session to see if it may be a fit for you and your journey.

You can get more of our energy by participating in this Saturday’s group call on Zoom. It will be led by the co-creators of SoulFullHeart, Raphael and Jelelle Awen. This is a great way to take in more teachings and perspectives as well as a guided meditation and time to share and ask questions. You can get more information by visiting  http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/groupcalls

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Feeling Your Protective Layers As Downloads Rain Inward – 11/11 Gateway Invitation

by Kalayna Colibri

Frederic_Edwin_Church_Rainy_Season_in_the_Tropics_700

 

NEW inspirations are downloading for you now. Sometimes they trickle in like a light rain from bloated rainclouds. It depends on what you’re ready for and what parts of you are opening up to. Your Gatekeeper, who is another layer of your Inner Protector, gages and siphons off these downpours and INpours of INspiration that want to come to you, to move you into new places in your life, to help you see and make those tough choices and take those challenging steps to reclaim, re-energize and reignite the flame of self-empowerment and love.

The energies leading up to the portal of 11/11 this weekend feel like a soft caress and rock music, all at the same time… there is understanding and love from the Divine and the Multi-verse, and there’s a strong invitation to shake off the dust and awaken to where love is flowing in your life and where it may not be. It’s not a violent shake, yet for some parts of you it may feel that way in moments, as the awakenings come in and take hold of your consciousness, or at least try to. Doorways, portals opening, yes, as they have been continuously, and the most powerful one imaginable is the one that begins to open up to a wider aperture inside of you. This is the one that truly invites in more energies, more upgrades, more loving ways to be in this world. It brings in desires to tread gently yet powerfully, acknowledging how this can seem like a paradox to those who haven’t experienced that you can hold both of these frequencies at once without violence or outrage or wounded masculine expressions of toil and strife, or battles and martyrdom.

If you feel ready for the downloads coming in, you can ask for them, but you cannot bypass what needs to be felt before they can integrate in the way they need and want to. For them to truly go in with love takes a lot of conscious and ongoing holding of the parts of you that don’t want them to or aren’t sure it’s okay. Your Gatekeeper, who I mentioned earlier, is the main aspect of you that is used to holding and blocking so many threads of your potential awakening that they haven’t deemed you to be ready for quite yet (and that they haven’t been ready to let in themselves, either).

My own Gatekeeper, who I first came to know as a defensive Inner Protector or Guardian, is offering to me that my readiness is ripening after what has now been several months of working with her, yet several years of working with parts of me that were dominant aspects of my personality. She says, “the soul and heart maturity level need to match with the maturity level of the arising, conscious Sacred Human, who is striving for spiritual consciousness, not in a mentally-based way, and is deeply exploring their heart and wanting to know more, FEEL more, about who they are and why, who/what the Divine is and why, as well as who they could be destined to become in conscious and empowered co-creation with the Divine… It is important to let in the process AND the downloads, to not simply try and open floodgates that are meant to and need to be there… for now. And too, the Gatekeeper needs to feel this relationship with you as your healing Sacred Human self, to trust the Divine through and with you, as so many (myself included at times, in some layers…) still feel very consciously and unfairly separated from the Divine and therefore, from the powerful force and trance of love that wants so much to flood into you and them too.”

It is a major process to feel into, this acceptance of what is being brought in, and there are many understandable defenses that want to keep it out or filter it in a way that is perhaps more digestible for now. There is nothing that can truly be missed out on here though, as each opening within you does create this ever-widening and expanding portal of access to YOU and to the Infinite Love that is the Uni and Multi-verse we exist in and through.

So perhaps the greatest invitation and inspiration being extended to us all with this 11/11 portal, is more of the same of what comes in with all of them… to continue to acknowledge and deepen the work within, to let it be and arise and take a stronger, more self-loving hold on your heart and soul. To invite in a reality that is heart-based, that works with the mind and not against it, and with the soul in a more sober way. There is so much still to feel and on the other side of that, so much more to just keep letting in as we continue our paths of deep inner transformation that continuously transform and upgrade our entire world as we kNOW it and rediscover it, today. ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Spring Loaded Essence

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By Raphael Awen

Essence is spring loaded within us.

It doesn’t actually need to be fought for, protected or defended.

Parts of us see it quite convincingly otherwise as something to fight for, and understandably so; for those parts of us and their reality, their experience, their truth, it’s a world of fighting along with winners and losers.

From our Higher Self’s reality however, ‘fighting for’ anything is a form of resistance and resistance presupposes an opposing other, which isn’t real to the Higher Self.

Try this feeling on for a moment from your deepest seat of being and see if it feels like your truth:

‘You are the source and essence of all that is. This essence is spring loaded within you, ever arising, ever unfolding, ever powerful, ever humble, ever seeking to experience itself through all the expressions of your being’

Does that get your resonator started?

I should note that not too many years ago, for me, the above statement would have been written off as total and complete blasphemy as I was then journeying through (unbeknownst to me at the time) the paradigm of separation between me and ‘God’. Now, I find this view not only resistive to myself, but also resistive to the ‘God’ I subscribed to, (as well as the deeper sense of God underneath my sense of ‘God’). If I was the creation of God, the reflection of God, why would God want to create ‘lessers’, who didn’t possess essence, but had to subscribe to ‘Him’ for it? I had to assume the role of the lesser, the subservient, or the worshiper to keep this ‘God’s’ ego intact. Then I would go on to chastise myself to be ‘godly’, but without any ego. It all degenerates down into a total and complete mind and heartfuck charade when it does and it is meant to. Can you feel the resistive energy in my words just now? A part of me wants to shit all over Christianity, and especially more so because this part of me has been seen and labeled as a demon. This part of me has a reality inside of resistance and wants to fuck Christianity royally, and needs to use vulgar language to get the energy across and out, as a fuck you to those who excluded and included around bullshit and the absence of love.

Bridging to this part of me from my new and arising reality which isn’t based in resistance, is to accept the part of me who has a resistance, however deep it goes. Nagging on this part of me to be other than it is only serves to suppress an energy that is sure to wreak havoc in my health and wellbeing. Getting to know and love this part of me, eventually inviting it into my reality of the joy of spring loaded essence is where a whole new adventure begins. This is my reason for being.

This is a whole new genesis story!

So when I say that ‘all is love’ and ‘there is nothing to fight’, I must be quick to acknowledge where in my being this is not true, or it’s just a shallow tinny sounding heap of spiritual horse poop! Actual horse poop is worth far more as it doesn’t pretend to be anything it isn’t. It’s the charades inside that we await coming to an end, that can then end the charades outside.

But even these charades don’t need to be fought against. Their death is also spring loaded. They don’t serve love, other than to provide contrast to love, serving as a bad example you might say. So in that, their purpose has a timestamp, like time itself does, as we return to essence being ever enlarged from the original essence we set out from.

Holeeee shit people! It’s all so holy, no amount of vulgarity or evil can take away from it, and no amount of veneration or awe can add to it. It just is and you are it!

When and as that sinks in, it leaves you in a true mission to get to know and feel every part of you for whom this isn’t true. This will keep us busy for a while yet as this true kingdom of heaven comes to reign inside where even the idea of a king and of reigning must eventually give way to love that just is!

Audio of this blog can be found here: https://youtu.be/gUtous_vHX0

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.

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