Tag: 3D self

Practical Ascension: 7 Key Areas Of Life – Financial Area Intro

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Gabriel & Kalayna

In this video, SoulFullHeart Teachers, Facilitators and Sacred Union mates, Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri, discuss the financial area of life and the different ways in which we relate to it from the perspective of our 3D, 4D, and 5D Selves. There is so much projected onto money by parts of us that relate to it in many different ways, often with a lot of charge, fear-polarization, and unworthiness.

There are many different ways in which this area of life is related to and for each generation, the approach is a bit different. For Kalayna and Gabriel, their processes around money and the financial area of life have been very different yet have had some common threads. They share some pieces of their personal processes in this video, though they will share much more in the next video in this area.

How parts of us feel about and relate to money is also how parts of us feel about and relate to love. If it doesn’t feel as if it is in flow and if it feels like a tighter budget means less happiness, then there is likely an over-attachment to money representing love, self-worth, and overall abundance capacity. There is so much self-punishment in this area and acute unhappiness. To genuinely feel the true abundance of life, which encompasses and flows into all areas including the financial area, is a process of really feeling with parts of you where the focus on “lack” is rooted in your templating from birth family, friends and culture, and overall 3D conditioning. Moving more into 4D can mean more financial “crises” arising, as you choose to transition away from jobs/careers that do not match your emerging sense of soul purpose, or as life presses you into moving away from these jobs, sometimes without the open negotiation between you and your parts happening first. Ascending into more of a 5D consciousness in this area means that you are drawing abundance in all forms and do not feel an over-attachment to money as love or an expression of your self-worth. If you are in 5D consciousness while money is still necessary in your life and where you are living, there is an inherent trust that it will work itself out, that you have everything you need, and that you are willing to be with the parts of you that don’t feel this, that aren’t with you in 5D just yet, recognizing how the dips and valleys and layers of this feeling space are what offer you deeper and deeper healing and a deeper conscious connection to abundance of love at the heart of it, once the other side of the process is reached. Actually, this applies to all areas of life from the 5D Self’s perspective!

If you’re curious to learn more about how we feel about this area of life in SoulFullHeart, there are many writings on our blog: www.soulfullheartblog.com and there are other videos on our YouTube channel where we discuss and digest this topic as well.

If you have any questions or comments, you can leave them in the comment thread here on Youtube or find us on Facebook (just look for Kalayna Colibri and/or Gabriel Heartman and/or SoulFullHeart Way Of Life!). You can also email soulfullhearts@gmail.com.

Donations are so appreciated and received with gratitude as an energy exchange in the offering of this series for free through paypal: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations or the SoulFullHeart Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart

More links you may wish to visit for more information on Kalayna, Gabriel and SoulFullHeart:

Blog site:  https://soulfullheartblog.com/

Website:  http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/

Gabriel’s bio:
http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/about-gabriel-heartman

Kalayna’s bio:
http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/aboutkalayna

PRACTICAL ASCENSION: 7 KEY AREAS OF LIFE – MENTAL AREA INTRO

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

https://youtu.be/ZZRcgURtQJg

In this video, SoulFullHeart Teachers, Facilitators and Sacred Union mates, Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri, discuss the mental area of life and how we can relate to the mental body from a point of view of love, respect, and spiritual and emotional healing and evolution.

There is so much energy placed on the mind and mental-based reality filtering is lauded and rewarded in our 3D reality, often over any other sort of pursuit or endeavor. Our five senses are the accepted gateway to taking in and understanding our world and the parts of us that make up our 3D Self, including our Inner Protector, Teenager, Mother/Father, and Punisher. As we ascend and awaken into more 4D frequencies and experience of life, sometimes there is a grasping at mental-based spirituality and filtering of spirituality in order to understand what’s happening in the individual and the world too, and why. This can step on the deepening emotional and embodied spiritual experience of awakening and is often a fear-based reaction from parts who are not ready for the awakening or are afraid to let go of 3D reality.

Kalayna and Gabriel also share about the awakening 5D Self, whose reality is more about visceral experience and moving with emotions as they come up rather than rationalizing or filtering them through mental-based conclusions or reasoning. Throughout Ascension, there is more fluidity that is invited, starting within, as the healing and unification of the Self continues and more oneness/non-dual experiences that are well beyond the mind can be had.

They offer too, that the mind is meant to ‘come with us’ during this process of Ascension and not to be left behind as many other spiritual paths offer. It is a crucial aspect of helping us find and visualize what’s possible for us and what our meditation journeys want to offer and show us. Eventually, perhaps the mind as we have known it is not needed anymore, and that alone can leave parts of us feeling anxious about what that reality could mean or be like, especially as the mind and thinking has been so over-emphasized and over-energized in 3D life.

If you have any questions or comments, you can leave them in the comment thread here on the blog, on the Youtube video itself, or find us on Facebook (just look for Kalayna Colibri and/or Gabriel Heartman and/or SoulFullHeart Way Of Life!). You can also email soulfullhearts@gmail.com.

Donations are so appreciated and received with gratitude as an energy exchange in the offering of this series for free through PayPal: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations or the SoulFullHeart Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart

 

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Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. 

 Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

 

 

Filling Up And Serving From The Love-Well Within

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

to love fully 2

To love fully, we must be self-filled, not self-less… this can a hard one to wrap our heads and hearts around, as parts of us tend to be very conditioned to the idea that in order love someone ‘the right way’, this often means sacrificing or over-compromising on many things, including but not limited to, our sense of spirituality, our emotional reality, our lifestyle, etc. It often means that parts of us have been OK with ‘shrinking to fit’ in order to maintain certain relationships, even if these relationships aren’t deeply resonant or nourishing, leaving us feeling drained, depressed, maybe even very ill.

Our 3D selves, often made up of many different parts of us, like our Inner Teenager, Inner Mother/Father (or Matriarch/Patriarch), Inner Punisher, and Inner Protector, seem to have a way of expressing ‘love’ that often compromises even their own deeply held beliefs and feelings. Love then becomes a game of disowning and dishonoring our authentic emotional reality for the sake of others as well as being very self-sacrificial and often martyrs, too. Over-giving becomes the norm and choosing YOU over anyone else becomes a ground for self-punishment and beratement instead of a feeling of needing to fill up the inner love-tank so that you only have MORE to give and receive, too. Chances are that if you are wired-up to live in this more outbound way, you often find yourself drained energetically, emotionally and even spiritually.

I hear many empaths staking the claim that everyone around them ‘drains’ them, painting a picture that their gift of being empathic is actually a burden, which it can certainly feel like to parts of us, especially while this dynamic of over-giving to others and under-giving to yourself is going on. The truth that I have felt and experienced, is that our need to go within is a strong one that shows itself in so many ways… and that the gift of being here to serve love means serving from an overflow of SELF love; a steady stream created within by the waters of self care and creating a sacred space for yourself, your parts, your Metasoul Aspects to land in.

Taking the space necessary in order to find this deep inner overflow is tricky while surrounded by others who do not value this space for themselves. The love we have and want to offer each other will always be there in some form, yet without space to feel and BE in our own hearts and healing processes, means that we are serving water from a dry or drying-out well that needs replenishment which must start from within. It is as important to be with ourselves as it is to be surrounded by others who offer nourishment on all levels of being and in all areas of our lives and that want to support us in taking care of us as well as being supportive towards them.

This felt like an important point to share today, especially as Gabriel Heartman and I have been digesting and sharing a lot about the social area of life in our vlog series, Practical Ascension. If you are curious to take in more about our experience of healing in this area of life and what we offer through the SoulFullHeart lens, you can find our videos on Youtube on the SoulFullHeart Experience channel and on this playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvInP1AB__TzXykZythfad8i

Filling up within can be one of the hardest things to imagine doing for different parts of us, depending on the configuration of our lives, yet it is so important, especially during these times of intense awakenings and upgrades happening on all levels and the increasing depth of our own Ascension processes! Nothing draws the relationships with others that we truly desire, more than being willing to say ‘no’ when necessary, to say ‘yes’ when it feels nourishing and alive, and to find a relationship with ourselves that is truly loving, unconditional and infinite.  ❤

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Feeling And Connecting From Within During Holiday Season

Published on by Jelelle Awen2 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

gowithin

Everything impacts your vibrational frequency; sounds, smells, foods, and especially the energy of others. Your 3D Self (ego/mind fusion) has probably layered you over with densities, literal protection shields, so that you cannot feel how impacted you are by all these things. In this layered over place, you cannot feel how your vibrational frequency is going down. Or if it is going up. This can especially be amplified during the holiday season when so much going outward can happen in the gift buying, time with family, etc.

The only way to feel this is to go within, to reconnect to your inner energy system, to your emotional body, to your 3D Self (and other aspects). The ‘you’ that goes within is the version that is splitting off, differentiating from the 3D Self and being infused with energies from your higher 5D Self or Divine Self. Your Higher Self is always with you, waiting to arise, like a seed in your consciousness that is waiting for the water of good energy and good love to vibrate more.

Your Higher Self may be mostly outside of you. It may feel like when you connect with it that it feels like you are reaching for something outside of you, similar to how it can feel to connect with guides, ascended teachers, and the Divine. And, that’s OK because the important piece is that these energies, while feeling outside of you, can still infuse you with frequencies that you need to raise your base tone. They offer you light codes to activate your light body to arise and start glowing, to begin the transition from carbon-based body to crystalline-Christ Consciousness body.

Eventually, then, you realize that your Higher Self is within you and IS you more and more. As are the guides that you have ‘channeled’ or looked to others to provide the messages of their channeled guides. Validation from outside of us, people who are embracing their Higher Self wisdoms and personal experiences, can be very helpful. It can light up things that need to be lit up. Support from others who have journeyed in places we want to go deeper can be very helpful to, along with a community to resonate with, like we offer in SoulFullHeart.

And, then, you return to you, back inside where the power is, where the Universe is, and where the only source of Love that you can ALWAYS count on is. Going within, exploring within, learning about what is within…..the message is the same in so many different forms and yet, when you are too much your 3D Self, you may find many ways to not do this and not to begin this. Looking outward may be easier than looking within for your 3D Self.

Try this, right now.

Pause from the internet for a moment. Close your eyes. Become present to the moment. Become present to yourself. Feel what you are feeling. Check in. Feel where your energy is at. Feel any other people that have entered your ‘field’ while you have been online, as it is a virtual ‘room’ containing many energies that you absorb like a sponge.

Feel your heart. Is it open or more closed? Why?

Breath in, Breath out. Feel the world that is YOU that is waiting for your exploration of it. Stay in this inner focused space for as long as you need to and as long as you like.

Here is a guided meditation from me that supports you to go within to connect with your Ascension Chakras and your Higher Self. Or you can just use it as practice to go within, be in more yin stillness, and to track your energy. Or, you can just fall asleep, as many do!

Go in, go in, go in, daily at least, a few times a day ideally, for as ‘long’ as it takes if possible. Create the space in your life for you. Let go of that which does not support this going within process.

Create the space for Love and to remember yourself as the essence of Infinite Love that you ARE. ~

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Join Raphael and I for a livestream HERE on our SoulFullHeart Way Of Life facebook page and SoulFullHeart Experience You Tube Channel…to ask questions, to share and to commenthttps://www.facebook.com/events/2067665806799213/

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Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, Divine Feminine and Masculine, emotional body integration through parts work, quantum healing through Metasoul Aspect connection, sacred union, light body transformation, and much more! 

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions and a free intro session, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Clearing Your Divine Channel To Love

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

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You are channel of Divine Love. Connected to the Source of All That Is. It is how you, or parts of you, relate to that reality that makes all the difference in the world in how you will BE in that reality. It affects what experiences you will draw and manifest that validate, or invalidate, what lives as your Truth. But what is your Truth?

This gets tricky because inside of you lives multiple truths. Semi-solid beliefs that parts of you have held on dearly to due to clear experience and unconscious fears. These truths create an energy projection that alters your conscious reality. How is it that you feel one way inside but your outside is not matching up? You keep drawing circumstances that keep you from fully embodying and inhabiting your soul’s purpose. Going into the emotional landscape of your inner world holds the keys to some of your long held questions.

If you feel yourself as this channel connected to Love, it is not hard to imagine all the obstacles that get in the way from truly letting in, and through, the Grace that is being bestowed upon us. It is like a clogged artery. Calcifications of your 3D experience that are looking for love to set them free and dissolve into your heart. You may even have an intense overload of access and energy that sends your system into a shock state that is hard to function in daily 3D practical living. This too is a function of resistance and fear from a protective part of you designed to convince you that it is all too much to bear.

Obstacle or overwhelm, the reality here is that you are being summoned. Called to bear compassion and even challenge to what is preventing your natural state from being in the present moment.  In SoulFullHeart, we access parts of us that have received much 3D wounding which are beacons of this resistance. They call out to us to show up and help assist in both the inner and outer changes that need to be made to create an environment that is conducive to MORE healing, MORE opening, MORE growth.

It begins usually with connecting with an Inner Protector energy that has a love for you that is beyond what you can imagine. They have done life AS you for so long just to keep as much of your boat floating as possible until there was a time when you could show up in all your courage to begin to take the reigns back through compassionate negotiations. They love you so much that it is hard for them to let you go and let them in.

As you feel the roots of this protection and the pain that lies underneath it, the energetic clumps begin to set off into the ethers and more of your true connection, in human form, gets to be experienced and downloaded. More of what You really want and need in a healthy and growthful way sends out its beacon to the universe. Your channel is getting clearer, though not always easier, in the very beginning.

Expect your life to change. Your Higher Self, and even your Protector, are banking on it. There is all the support and guidance you can let in to assist you on the way. SoulFullHeart is one way that offers a path and process to clear the inner arteries of your Divine Heart in human form. A process that is in constant growth and clarifications as we enter it ourselves and with others that have found resonance and profound clarities. I invite you to take a deeper look into this unfolding universe that is calling out to you through your experiences and synchronicities.

The winds are changing and calling us IN and UP. The time is NOW to let in all you have always been born to BE.

Kalayna Colibri and I will be talking about our experiences with SoulFullHeart and what it has meant to us both individually and as a couple in our Live stream event coming this Saturday at 11am CST. More info here:https://www.facebook.com/events/1508742299214244/
Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Current Energies Illuminate 3D Heaviness, Attachments, Pain

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

veil of solitude by Rassouli

Painting: Veil of Solitude by Freydoon Rassouli

The density of this 3D reality… the density of the body, of the toxic foods and practices parts of us have held on to for so long… this is what’s being highlighted now, brought to our attention in visceral ways. There is cellular clearing, yes, physically and astrally too.

When you dream at night, it’s common to perhaps not wake up remembering what you dreamt about but to still feel yourself holding onto and recalling the feeling experience of it all. It can stay with you like that for a portion of your day, flowing into your life with you.

What was once considered important to be and stay attached to by parts of you, is also being highlighted now and you may feel just plain ‘tired’ of it all. Tired of the grind, of daily life scenarios that are less than fulfilling on a heart and soul level, of taking in life’s challenges without much sense of a bigger picture or intention holding it all.

These bubbles are all popping now. Energies coming in and moving through are waking up, shaking up your being and your consciousness level, first by showing you where your heart hasn’t yet been able to flow in concert with all it intends and holds to be true in line with your soul. Irritation, anger, dis-ease, discomfort, depression, heaviness, all signal that there is something that has been rigidly clung to up ’til now, that needs and wants and is asking to be looked at soberly yet with a renewed sense of love for YOU in your heart. Most of what has been held as so important, no longer feels so important… somewhat without an explanation, at least for the mind to grasp, for now.

This is a new reality that wants to birth you and the parts of you still in 3D pain and motivations, into 4D reality and higher. Moving into 4D reality can feel like careening through a dark corridor at times. Passing through 4D consciousness means inhabiting your questions and being open to answers that you can only feel and may not be able to ‘know’ just yet, as it all opens up for you again. It’s an awakening journey that needs more than a simple one-off healing session in order to move so fully into it that you can pop out of it again and into even higher frequencies where love can truly be an ally to every pore, every facet of your being.

As you feel the tension of this new birth canal, you can let in the message that ‘there is MORE!’ to let in. There is MORE to this life, to these challenges, to this tension you have felt. There is more than transcendence as a means to rise above it. There is a deep-dive inside, that brings out the old, over-inhabited conditioning that is getting ready to let go now, that is moving into a place of letting MORE flow into you – more love, more awareness of a bigger picture, more desire for health and healthy habits, emotionally and physically. More lightness and less density and the journey to finding and feeling this, one step at a time.

Your burgeoning and beckoning heart and soul maturation want so much to be held in a process that offers this MORE at and around every single corner. It isn’t a matter of being overly sober or shadow-hunting, but being aware, being open, feeling the immature places, holding them with love, and encouraging yourself, through getting to know and feel parts of you, to keep going IN and growing UP. There is much to feel as the more moves in, for there needs to be room made for it. SoulFullHeart may not be THE answer for everyone, yet it is AN answer and a powerful process bringing many new frequencies and feeling tones along with it. The scariest thing is the newness of what this path offers, that doesn’t look like anything you’ve likely yet experienced…

Riding these waves of energies right now, leading up to this gate opening on 11:11… there is love with you and flowing to you, as all is illuminated and brought up to be felt. It’s up to you, what choice you make, to go into the invitation to more process and deeper feeling spaces. And somehow, no matter what you choose, the goodness of it all is still there and you will never, ever be loved any less than you are right now.  ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Energy Update: New Dawn Coming In And Dying To BE Prior To 11/11 Gateway

Published on by Jelelle Awen3 Comments
By Jelelle Awen
Being - 1

Wise words offered from a friend on Facebook, Deva Anupada, about what she is experiencing of these ongoing INtense ascension energies: “During last night another huge shift occurred which brought in a deep release of illusions delivered through intense and not so pleasant dreams for those participating. Followed by a new dawn bringing forth new awareness. This really is logging off life (the programme) in order to log on to life again with a new operating system. From a new platform. Like reincarnating without going through the physical death. Dying to BE.”

This could be why I slept 12 hours last night and still felt groggy and floaty when I woke up! Logging off happening in sleep, yes, and also in waking life more and more as timeline realities merge over each other, overlapping realities of Metasoul/other lifetime aspects and also your Star BEing aspects too coming more into your waking consciousness.

Dying to BE….that feels so true to me. Making ROOM for the rebirth means allowing and accepting the purging, clearing, cleansing, releasing that just NEEDS to happen right now. This is happening on levels we haven’t experienced before during our present timeline.

I would add that the death process feels to me that it is of the 3D self versions of us that HAD to be created and formed when we came into the body here. Such density we encountered coming here! Our soul porosity had to fragment into different energies that could cope and adjust to it. Those energies we feel and offer in SoulFullHeart are primarily about protection, control, fitting into gender roles (such as mother or father), etc. These fragmented energies then form our personalities, who we THINK that we are in 3D life until our soul awakenings when we start to discover that our essence is actually so much MORE than these 3D personalities. Our 3D self aspects can be understandably resistant and afraid of the dying and rebirth process as all that they have known of life seems to be collapsing away, being ‘ripped’ away from them.

Connecting with your 3D self aspects directly that are still anchored to 3D reality processing through undigested wounding can allow for more ease, grace, trust, acceptance, integration AS you undergo the ongoing process of ascension. Even if and when MORE shadow and woundings need to come up to be felt, then you have a ways and means to BE with them. Forming a relationship INside to allow for eventual INtegration and navigation of the often very challenging choice points as you unanchor from 3D life and move into 4D transitional death/rebirth and beyond. Much more about our process offered through weekly sessions and group calls on our website if you feel a resonance with what I am offering here.

A new dawn coming in…..The 11:11 gateway opening to activate the receiving of MORE codes and downloads does feel like it is going to be significant. It could serve as a ‘marker’ for many on their awakening process for which they really felt the NEW coming more deeply into their consciousness. The inner prep to receive these codes (such as Iwrote about yesterday) is important to the degree and depth that you can receive them. An aspect of this preparation is BEing with any resistance and fear that comes up from parts of you. This could also be manifesting in crisis, turmoil, intense life events too for which you become more aware of where you are still anchored to 3D life and where you are ready to let go.

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Raphael and I are offering a group call on November 11 (this Saturday) at 11:11am CST to BE with these codes through an integration guided meditation, teachings about our process to bridge your 3D self aspects to allow more integration, and space for individual sharings as well. $11 U.S.D min. donation to join us:https://www.facebook.com/events/124047068285647/

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Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond.

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Emotosomatic Healing: The Deep Roots Of Parts Work

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

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My recent back and neck pain has found a home in my heart. What I mean by that is that through a deep emotional movement and process with my beloved Kalayna, and energy sessions with Jelelle, the intense spasms and stiffness got felt in a deeper emotive root. The part of me that was using the pain as a protection and a way to get my attention was able to surrender into vulnerability and trust in the open hearts of both myself and my mate. It was an experience that demonstrated the power of our emotions and intimacy to transmute and heal.

Though the term “psychosomatic” is more commonly used, we feel that it is the emotional body that is ‘upstream’ of the mental body. Our emotions are energy in motion that translate into thoughts that have their own waveform and power. So, yes, what I was thinking was having a huge impact on my body, but what I was thinking was stemming from an emotive ground. So more specifically our physical ailments are “emotosomatic”, as coined by Jelelle.  This is an agreeably mental distinction, but it feels important to highlight how physical pain is framed in SoulFullHeart without a claim that we have THE answer. It comes from our experience. One that is very evident to me.

The original source came from waking up one morning, after Kalayna and I had decided to move in together, with slight neck and back pain. This grew in intensity without an experience of an outside event such as a fall. It grew so fast and so intensely  that it rendered me on the couch, as even walking in the neighborhood felt painful. Kalayna and I were not able to really be close to each other as the pain found its way between us. While it is easy for our 3D self to take it at face value and just deal with the reality at hand, if we are to truly embody that what we experience IS a creation of our own power and making, then what was the suffering and pain all about? This is the place to go in curiosity and true self-awareness.

A part of me was using the severity of the pain as a way not to really feel the deeper root underneath it all. I found myself fusing to the pain, meaning I wasn’t able to see outside of it. For those that have major chronic pain, it is understandable and I get it. BUT, if we are to truly get through the pain it needs be gotten under. This is where conscious intimacy, especially romantic, can have such a powerful effect. Kalayna, and a part of her, had to be honest with its impact on us and her.

It was hard to feel that, and not feel the impulse to be defensive and resort to a state of powerlessness. In the tears, we felt our romantic past and how a pattern was repeating itself. I could begin to feel the difference between me now and me then and how much I, Gabriel, needed and wanted a sacred union but another part of me was in resistance for various reasons.  Using her gift of intuition, she helped me to feel some other dimensional layers that resulted in a vulnerable holding of an aspect of me that has been in isolation for so long. The touch of another brought significant tears that held the energy of trauma and loneliness.

The next day I found myself in a dramatically different physical space and was even to go out to dinner and enjoy some walking around town. Totally unimaginable the day before, as I could barely get off the couch and walk around the apartment. More poignantly, I am feeling this aspect of me in my heart and not in my spine any more. The pain was felt at its root and is now a process in my heart that I can  be with consciously. A deepening occurred between Kalayna and myself and we can now start to feel what else is there for us to feel with the pain out of the way. It brought us to a vista of what lies between our hearts and souls to heal.

I felt very inspired to share this personal experience to demonstrate the power of parts work and the nature of pain as based in the emotional body. There is so much to learn about ourselves and what lies in between us and real love. There are souls that have taken on huge physical challenges that are meant for their own growth in ways that can only be illuminated by going into the heart and feeling the hidden pain that lies in the deep emotional and spiritual roots.  What is it that your soul is wanting you to finally heal? Ask your pain. Ask for help.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Conversation With My Spine: Day Three- Feeling And Healing With Compassion

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

Osteopathic belly massage.

M: Good afternoon, spine. This has been a hard day.

S: Yes. A lot to take stock of. The spasms are a tough one to be with. I can feel the storm of energy that swirl in them. They remind me of solar flares. Interesting that they are in your solar plexus area.

M: I was catching that today. So much of a feeling of powerlessness, lack of control.

S: That feels significant to me. The wounded masculine heartspine is so very focused on control. The arising of the Yin will challenge that control in a very invitational way, but the old Yang can only see it as an opposite control. It is a sad state of lost in translation. One that is aching, no pun intended, to be healed and balanced within you and the collective. Let`s keep it personal today though. I feel that is where you need it the most.

M: Yeah, for sure. After all that has happened to me physically the last 6 months in regards to romance, it is all a clear indicator a part of me has some major resistance to going in. With the others in the past it felt as if I was trying too hard to feel something that just wasn’t there. But even that feels like a resistance too. With Kalayna, it has this potential for amazing heights yet here I am in a state where I can only feel pain and not love flow. It is a convenient way for a part of me to go back into a bubble. Then of course comes some guilt as well which really only serves to widen the space and block the love.

S: This type of romance is so unknown to your soul it feels like Gabriel. That you have many metasoul lives of tragic romance and if this has played out several times between both of your souls then it does make sense why a part of you, your protector, would feel major reservations. It has been easier for many of your aspects just to go solo and never let in the kind of love that can take you to realms forgotten.

M: When I feel my protector, he says that is very true. “Why go in when it only winds up in a tragic ending?” I feel where my heart wants to respond to this, provide the healing space for it, so that it can release and I can offer more of what I know I feel for her and to be able to let in more. In the moment I am feeling this goes the same for my protector’s relationship to the Divine. It has a been an up and down experience for him and I am feeling a more devoted time spent holding him in that.

S: I feel you are speaking to the collective spiritual wounding here as well, Gabriel. It is important for others to feel their own protection against love is also a protection against the Divine.  There is no greater press on our hearts than a romance that is centered on vulnerability and sacred sexuality. Takes you to the doorstep of your own fear and shadowland.

M: I am beginning to feel how this physical manifestation is in response to that. I feel a compassion in my heart around that now, whereas before I was feeling judgement and the fear of the pain itself. This is a portal in new territory that my heart has long “forgotten” or attended to with deep reverence and curiosity. The gift in all of this is arising new for me in the moment and that helps a part of me to rest into it more. Thank you, spine.

S: My pleasure, Gabriel. This is all happening in my backyard, amigo, so I too want to feel it resolve and integrate for you. To inherit all the GOODies you are being invited to let in and embody emotionally, spiritually, and physically. It has been a long time coming for your weathered and worn protector. All protectors for that matter.

M: It is a brave new world for us all, isn’t it? To take all this fear and show up to it with our compassionate and self-loving heart. To be willing to let go of all the things that parts of us have held on so tightly to in order to maintain some smaller version of ourselves that was sacred in its own right. It has actually taken more energy to continue the protection than it does to surrender to the vulnerability of the fear of love itself. I am feeling a new admiration for it all and expanded sense of the nature of my current condition…that it is all energy in a compressed and guarded state.

S: That feels like a big felt awareness toward the road to recovery and integration. The personal process that includes your 3D and 4D selves that also connects to the larger context of the birthing of the sacred human BEing. No simple road to take, yet not one that goes in circles either. It is a hero’s journey you and everyone are on to get to the heart of the heart and the soul of the soul. The challenges are different for all and this just happens to be one that you dialled up to get you there. Feel the sacredness of it all and the healing shall follow.

M: I will take those words with me through my day as I connect and feel the parts within me that need my love. I so appreciate our daily connection, spine. I am wanting to call you another name but I feel it is still important to connect you to what is current with me.

S: That is okay, Gabriel. That will be in time. Though in the moment I like LIghtnin’ Rod Steward.

M: I am almost afraid to ask….but I am going to step in it. What?

S: I am like a lightning rod, man. Moving energy from the heavens the earth below. I am a great alchemizer, brother! A spring-loaded love apparatus stewarding megawatts of joy and creativity, partner.

M: Oh….wow.  I don’t think I have any words right now.

S: That is what I am sayin’.

M: Um….yeah. Let’s chat later….Rod.  Oh, good grief.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Conversation With My Spine: Day One- Creating A Relationship To Pain

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

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Flowing out of my last blog about my recent spinal pain issue, I have decided to share my journaling that I began with my spine. It is a tool we use in SoulFullHeart to create an energetic space between our authentic self and a part of us that holds different sources of energy that block our letting in of higher frequencies of Self and Love. In this case, my spine is acting as a conduit of my Higher Self to help me gain a greater perspective to the pain that has been with me for several weeks.  This in turn helps me to hold the different lower frequencies that are accessed in both this and other life wounding. It will be an ongoing conversation for as long as it is meant to last. *NOTE: (M) is for me, and (S) is for spine. 


M: Hello, spine. I wanted to start a dialogue with you and connect with you more intimately. Feel you as a part of me as well as a guide and teacher. Are you open to that?

S: Yes, of course. There is much dis-ease going on and I would love to help shed some light to help both of us feel some deeper meaning, not just solely relief. But in the moment that would be certainly welcome. Where shall we start?

M: Hmmm….great question. I thought maybe you could shed some light on what you feel is the cause of all this pain that feels unending to another part of me.

S: Well, that is one place to start. The feeling that this is going to last ad infinitum. It is understandable to feel that when it does appear that it just goes on and on without some measurable indication of relief. You and I have been around long enough to know that that isn’t true. It is a signal of a deeper wound that doesn’t trust in the process that is being offered to you. This comes from many lifetimes of not trusting the Divine and the journey you chose before time immemorial. Trusting to let go of what you learned in order to remember.

M: That last sentence had a reverberation in me. Thank you. The tension that exists in you feels related to that fear of letting go.

S: Yes. Indeed. So much love and goodness has entered your kingdom and a part of you has a hard time truly believing it is all real. It rubs against unworthiness and it can sabotage the inflow. Nothing like a shot of pain to keep you from fully feeling the Joy that is showering upon you.

M: That is especially true. Geez. I can feel how I have been what we call ‘fusing’ to the pain, where I just become it, not separate from it. It filters so much about what I, Gabriel, feel about what is happening. Talking about this with you helps to feel the distinction. A very powerful discernment.

S: That is exactly it! It is about YOUR power. To not let the power be in the hands of the pain. You can be WITH the pain and not OF the pain. Empowerment is the leading edge of the spine. Choosing to subvert the power to the pain itself makes you a victim to it and thus yourself for you created the pain in the first place! 

M: This is where it gets hard for a part of me to swallow, but I can feel how that is easier than accepting response-ability. Responding to the situation from a place that has a higher frequency of energy even in the throws of the pain. A process for sure. It takes the time it takes to get to a place of No More.

S: That is the activation of your Higher Self. Not in a way that looks to solve the problem but to respond to it in way that brings a larger picture of the emotional and spiritual landscape. You said “enough was enough” and you chose to journal. I am acting as a conduit of your Higher Self. What better way that through the spine!

M: Agreed! I didn’t feel much angst in you that I thought I would, but a lot of reverence and compassion for the situation.

S: A part of you may certainly hold that energy but if I am truly your spine I would want you to be in your most empowered state. So much has been assumed that reacting to a situation with an energy of dominating or fixing is what Spine is all about. It is not. It is about fully feeling what the most vulnerable place is within you to respond to. What is the fear that a part of you has around love and leadership? For this is also about leadership and stewardship. It is arising in you as the frequency of Gaia and SoulFullHeart continue to rise.

M: This is the part that also feels so true about this pain. An intuitive knowing that I am a part of this shift in a way that is yet totally unknown and unknowable to a part of me and causes a tension of doubt and uncertainty. I feel like there is a whole lot to discuss with you and that this could go in so many ways. Maybe best to call it a day for now and get back at it tomorrow.

S: Clever. ‘Back’ at it tomorrow. Very nice.

M: Not intended, but I will take credit. 🙂  Thank you for the illuminating conversation. I feel a lot of movement from this connection and I feel it is helping to integrate something in me.

S: That is the name of the game, my man! Let’s keep the flow going tomorrow. Lots to cover one vertebrae at a time.

M:  Hmmmm…spinal humor. Not sure about that one.

S: It’s okay. The other spines with get it. INside joke.

M: Oh, boy.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.