Category: 3D/4D/5D Selves

Deeper Intimacy With Self Through The Explorations With Money

Published on by Deya ShekinahLeave a comment

By Deya Shekinah

Wow, what a topic money is. I feel so many layers and parts wrapped into the explorations with money. One of the things that Jelelle Awen offered in the SoulFullHeart Free To Be Two group call about money this week, was how some can relate to money as a false god. This landed straight away as what I experienced within my family, how earning money gave meaning to life and felt like the only meaning to life as there was no spirituality or religion in my upbringing. I feel how my Inner Masculine, David, took this on and how my Inner Child, Yazzy, was stifled by this. Since she was always so multi dimensional, she didn’t believe this to be true, but as there was no one bringing any other meaning, she became capped by that.

I remembered a time when a male family member said to me that ‘money is the only thing that matters in the world’. At the time, I was blown away that anyone could believe that. As I feel it now, I feel so much density in that picture of our world, the lack of joy or spaciousness in it. As I feel David, I sense this energy within him as the conditioning he received from birth family members. 

Right now I am in a transition into a new way of being and earning money, that is bringing light to David’s relationship to money.  I hold and feel a lot of trust around money after years of transitioning and exploring money. This transition has grown into a deeper awareness and understanding of a greater meaning of life, as well as what abundance looks and feels like to me. 

I have learnt that abundance is many things. Not only money, but time, connection, vulnerability with others, space to BE. These all feel like abundance to me. I am coming to know and feel that my inner feeling of abundance is what draws abundance on the outside including financial abundance, even as that is still growing. For David, I feel him seeing this abundance coming in and seeing money coming in for offering my Soul Gifts, but he still does not FEEL abundant.

The group call has helped me feel this with him, his reality more of distrust and lack that he has been in and learnt throughout this 3D experience, sure that has been the 3D experience. One of the core beliefs I feel held in David is, ‘there is never enough money’., I see how much this creates that reality for us because he is so focused on ‘there is never enough’. He cannot appreciate or acknowledge it as it is coming in. I feel how it is the ability to be grateful for what IS, in the moment, that draws more of that thing to you, which of course is a journey, not something you can create through bypassing feeling the lack of gratitude. 

I feel how this lack of money belief is actually a cover up for lack of love, connection, communication and boundaries, it feels like. Money becomes this huge focal point when there is no other meaning to life. Money has become this huge elephant in the room, where we think about it, worry about it, are anxious about it, but we do not really honestly talk about it, at least in my experience and in this culture of my current geography. The shame, the guilt, the resentment around money is of course going to make it heavy and joyless. This feels like it creates blocks to, and a push/pull within us and our relationship to money, as well as abundance in general. 

I feel the lack of joy the Inner Masculine can hold around life in general, which then seeps into his relationship with/to everything else in life. I feel David feeling joyless, I feel him longing to experience joy as my other parts do, his sadness that he cannot seem to meet them there. Yet I feel how no one has ever asked him what he likes, what the meaning of his life is, and how he has been disempowered throughout this 3D experience too.

So now there is this new ground to walk out with him, where he is included and wanted, where he gets to feel and heal too because he is valued by me through this process. So this is where talking about money leads us, perhaps not straight away to more money, although I feel that coming in but to deeper connection, understanding and intimacy with our parts, and with each other eventually too.

You can purchase the recording of this Free To Be Two group call about money and attendance at/recordings of future group calls in this series by offering a donation of any amount. More information at soulfullheart.org/freetobe2.

Love,

Deya & David

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

Welcoming Everything In Closer, Sacred Union Within

Published on by Deya ShekinahLeave a comment

By Deya Shekinah

This past month has been a deep dive with my Inner Teenager, Yasmin. We have been digesting so much together and navigating many timelines collapsing and arising. 

It has been a very tender time of feeling the reality of her experiences in this life, especially how she has been in relationship with others. Yasmin has always been such an open book, I have felt in this time of less sharing how her openness hasn’t always come from a place of self love. I’ve been feeling how she has shared such deeply intimate details of her life with others, with anyone really, because she so deeply longed to be felt, seen and heard… something she didn’t receive much of.

As we digested together, I have been writing but when it has come to sharing publicly, I am becoming more sensitive to her vulnerability. I am learning that instead of sharing, I can let her land more inside of me, letting her feelings be felt and validated by me, by Jelelle Awen and by those closest to me, who I feel safe with. Rather than trying to understand, I am learning to listen. To listen to her stories, the ones she has buried deep down and disconnected from. Feeling all the things she could not feel in other times of her life because she wasn’t safe to.

I am realizing all she has ever truly wanted was to be welcomed in all that she is and all that she feels, rather than only being desired, wanted or welcomed in certain energies of who she is. Her tears were so close this morning. I feel how other parts of me have learnt to try to fix her or push aspects of her emotional reality away. I feel how she also experienced this in all of her relationships to varying degrees.

As I moved and danced, I welcomed all of her in closer than ever before, all her tears, all her longing. She felt unsure at first, as tears have always been hard for her to feel without someone else holding space. As her tears were always hidden and not welcomed, it has taken me a long time to realize that they can be. As I grow through this process as a space holder, I am able to offer her a new narrative around tears and sadness, as I see more and  more how her longings and tears are the doorway to our desires for life.

She cried. She let go into me, resting more into the pain in her heart. It felt beautiful. It feels like the beginning of a new relationship, except this one is just with me. I want all of her because I know how much she has held alone, how much wisdom she holds because of that. I feel how deeply she loves when she is welcomed in all of who she is, and how the pain of not being welcomed has broken her heart open to life.

I sense some deeper layers of heartbreak arising, feeling the pain of relationships that didn’t work out and the times it has felt to her that people wanted her but only certain parts of her. The feeling of not being wanted in her fullness touches these tender tears. There is a growing sense of gratitude to those people who weren’t ready for all of her. I am a stronger woman because of it, who feels love for and loved by every aspect that makes up this expression of me. I no longer have to be more than or less than. I can be me, this beautiful bliss mess embodied as a woman. Trusting that as I love myself and see myself more and more, I will attract others who can only show up for the same.

Love,

Deya x

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

Choosing A Sovereign New Earth Domain

Published on by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

In my last session with my facilitator and mentor, Raphael Awen, I found myself at the gates of what parts of me refer to as ‘The System’. In its basic form it is the Institution of Authority (administered by the captive reptilian race that is inextricably entwined with us). The rules, norms, and programs set in place by alleged ‘experts’ and ‘elected’ officials to manage, manipulate, control, and confine our innate, co-creative God self. 

I realized in the juxtaposition of my God self, my reptilian, and this System, that we have been, and still are, willing participants in this arrangement. If I truly feel myself as a spark of Universal Creation, then I have to be willing to accept that I have been in cahoots with this dynamic. Otherwise, I am just a disempowered victim and my only freedom exists from either joining the System or battling It (and thus, my reptilian self), or choosing to suffer in it. Neither of which feels appealing or at all a reflection of my desire to be truly free, sovereign, and in Love. 

In the process, I realized how much I, and parts of me, have accepted the ‘rules’ as such. What if I choose not to lend my energy to the Institutionalized Consciousness, but to give it thanks for what it did offer me, like a parent who raised me for a certain portion of my life, and now choosing emancipation and sovereignty? Can I do that? 

Well, energetically, why the hell not? I can transport myself and my conditioned parts into a new world where there is no virus, no fiat currency, no taxes, lawyers, licensure, registrations, or documents to be signed, sealed, and delivered. I can freely travel there without a ‘valid form of identification’. I can seed that into my consciousness and let it find its way into this ‘physical’ reality the more I feel the parts of me that are skeptical and in doubt. 

The biggest thing to feel is what the hell would I do without those constraints? Is that the biggest fear? Of actually being so damn free that I could actually live and love in abundance and not just ‘dream’ about it? Fuck yeah, man! I choose to believe in that. Matter of fact, science is proving that to be the very case! So while that world is not staring at me square in the face, it does in my heart and my soul. That energy of feeling free is the seed of BEing free. I am under no illusion it will take time to manifest. But the more I continue to say “thanks, but no thanks” to the outer authority, institution, and systems, then I continue to break those chains that keep me and It locked in this dance. 

So, I face the System within. I look square at it. I give it gratitude and appreciation for all that it offered and taught me about myself. Now it is time to do this thing MY way. One felt, conscious step at a time.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a Facilitant and Collaborator with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

The Awakening Of The Reptilian Self

Published on by Gabriel Amara1 Comment

Yesterday was a very emotionally heavy and visceral day for me. I have been feeling rumbles within my masculine over the past several days in response to what he was calling The System. We all know what that means, i.e. the particularities of living in a 3rd density world. Laws, social norms, bureaucracy, money, et al. There was this arising desire to fuck it all and just go live in a nearby park and detach himself from it all. It had a ring of freedom in it. I have the capacity in my soul to just live simply and on the land, which I did in Mexico with my SoulFullHeart beloveds, so it wouldn’t be a huge deal in some way.

Yet, in these reactions there is always something deeper. As was offered to me in our SoulFullHeart Facebook group, the desire to be free is an aspect of feeling a freedom of expression, my masculine expression. That landed very deeply and I could feel my inner masculine, Marcus, resonating with that. He was feeling the ways in which his own creativity has been used in a very practical way in order to survive and manage in the world. Not a very sacred use of his power and passion, but also very necessary.

As I woke up yesterday, I felt an anger begin to swell about all of this from within. I let him vent it out to get to a raw place and then deep tears came. A flood that seemed to last off and on for most of the day in between falling asleep several times. A feeling of hopelessness came over me that was hard to get a hold of so I just let it be. Let it take its course. I was offered by Raphael that there is some grid work that I was working on that is connected to the collective rumbles that are going on. I had felt earlier how these types of uncertain reactions are deeper responses to what is moving in the world. Sometimes it just takes me away and is hard to find me in all of it.

As the energy continued to move through me I began to get an awareness of my reptilian self name Gilesh. I have connected with him briefly in the past but it never got to a visceral awareness. Marcus, my wounded masculine, was a doorway to my reptilian aspect. I feel how this may be true for a lot of us. This hierarchical power structure that leads all the way to the Wizard of Oz itself, the AI. Once I was able to see him, so much began to come to the surface. I realized he was awakening into his and my awareness, really, for the first time.

I saw him lying on a kind of hospital bed with cords all around him, having been unplugged and in reaction to what he was experiencing. It was like an enormous detox from the centuries of being imprisoned, conditioned, and controlled. Very similar to the scene in The Matrix where Neo wakes up to his reality. I sat with him and just held the space for him to feel. A lot of rage and despair came from remembering what and who he was before the ‘take over’ he calls it.

This is quite significant for me. I have been really wanting to access this aspect of me because I could feel how much it has played a part in my life in regards to this feeling of acquiescence and rebellion in the same space. I have felt a suffering in space between and all along it was his! I got how much suffering this poor being has been in. How much trauma he has witnessed and been a part of all in the name of supplying the ‘loosh’ for the entities that were in control of the Matrix itself as well as its AI creator.
It is this break away from The System that my reptilian is experiencing. This feeling of ‘what the fuck am I if I am not this’? Trying to piece together the ‘past’ and remember the Garden of Eden from whence he came. Yet, there is something he knows he wants to be a part of. He wants to be a part of putting an end to this once and for all. He wants to help expose and collapse the frequency that has his race in energetic and emotional chains and thus humanity’s. They are inextricably entwined.

This will be a process of moving from angst, to guilt, to forgiveness, to compassion. I feel his power as my power. His masculine as a part of mine. This awakening feels like it will help ambassador something in the collective as we begin to learn more and more of The System and what it has done to humanity and to its children especially. It is a process of seeing how we have always been a part of it in one way or another. Yet there needs to be a space for the process of awakening and of grief. It is personal and quantum and has the potential to change our world forever. But for now, it is all about giving him all the love that is needed to find out who he really is outside of Hell.

*****

Join Raphael and Jelelle Awen for the 5th group call in the Free To Be series titled Unplugging From The 4D AI Matrix this coming Wednesday, April 29th at 10AM PST or get the recording if you can’t make it live. Go to www.soulfullheart.org/freetobe for more info.

If you feel guided to connect with your Reptilian Self I recommend Jelelle’s Deepen series video and meditation on this topic here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pA7ZjZj2K8M&list=PLNmrHdaQSAvLjwm17eBBTRhE3dbezYJdu&index=5

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a Facilitant and Collaborator with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

What We Heal In Ourselves We Heal In The World

Published on by monicabhakti4 Comments

by Monica Devi Bhakti

Today I found myself deep in a spin of the fear control matrix. I was feeling the intensity of my emotions, as well as the emotions of the collective. I reached out and got wise words from this beautiful SoulFullHeart community. Many thanks especially to Gabriel Heartman.

I also remembered back with gratitude to a session with Jelelle Awen, recognizing the need to disconnect from the collective, to find myself and my truth.

I went in and checked in with my parts. I found a Young One deep in fear, and my Inner Punisher running rampant – or so I thought. What I realized then, was that my Punisher was my Inner Masculine, actually trying to help the Young One. He was in a frenzy trying to find what would help this little one’s fear and help her feel safe. He felt so helpless and was lashing out, demanding that I make a plan and take action, even if I don’t know where I am going, or what is next for me. This sent me down endless rabbit holes of possibilities as if just taking just any action would assuage the fear. And I did take some actions and explore some possibilities. This helped for a bit. What helped more was to engage the deep well of the Inner Sacred Feminine – to allow the feelings, to allow that they are not wrong, not something that I need to make go away, but to listen to and honor deeply. These feelings do not need to be forcefully “shifted” into a ”higher consciousness” – that in fact to try to do so, was an act of aggression towards myself and spiritual bypass. Not to mention a judgment of what is good and what is not, what is “light” and what is not. As I have said – What part of All That Is, am I trying to make not a part of All That Is? What part of knowing that everything is the light, am I denying?

I find if we want to “fix” something, it’s because it makes us uncomfortable, and we are judging it. We want it to go away.

I realized that this is also part of what is happening in the collective. Theories and opinions about the actions of others, and who will stay in 3D and who will move into higher planes of consciousness, are so prevalent. I also notice how many are full of spiritual judgment and bypass. I’m speaking here of the conversations that do not include the essential ingredient of compassion. The bridging needed in the world – that this SoulFullHeart work helps do so beautifully within ourselves.

When we see the darkness, the actions that others have taken that seem so heinous, of course we have emotion and recoil. It scares us. It scares us that there is pain out there so deep, that it would turn on others in such awful ways. It shows us that Inner Punishers, unchecked and unloved, can become outer Tyrants and Abusers.

I know the truth that actions such as those only come from deep, unfelt pain and wounding. I know it because I have seen it, over and over. I have experienced it, over and over. One in self-love simply does not take those actions.

Love does not harm.

So what will help that deep wounding? Will ostracizing others and making them wrong – even in subtle spiritual ways – bring healing? If it doesn’t work inside, why would it work outside?

My experience today is that compassion, love will always be the one true answer.

I can so easily allow and witness the shadow in the world and others with non-judgment and compassion. Hold sacred space. My challenge currently is to witness and allow my deep shadow. Hold sacred space, and be, as Jelelle says, ‘the Love Ambassador’ – to myself.

What we heal in ourselves, we heal in the world.

May peace and love be mine, and yours, today and always.

***Monica Devi Bhakti is a SoulFullHeart Facilitatant, Collaborator, holder of sacred space, love generator, healer and writer.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

The Unraveling And Balancing Of The Inner Masculine

Published on by Gabriel Amara1 Comment

The masculine in us all can be a complex creature even underneath what can appear to be a simplified projection. Its laser pointed directive and ability to navigate so much on the 3D plane has so many benefits and qualities that are so needed in our daily lives.

Yet when that very focus finds itself tied in knots due to overwhelm, judgement, and uncertainty it really needs the feminine to come in and hold space for its unraveling. This is where the masculine gets to feel what he has been truly been holding, and simultaneously not feeling.

Since my induction back into the SoulFullHeart world, as well as the flipping of my previous script due to the feardemic, my masculine has been on a bit of unbalanced ground. While so very grateful for being back in the orbit of soul family and choosing to stay here in Victoria during this time, my inner masculine has been trying to navigate two worlds at once.

One world, the 3D world, is represented by online teaching work and making sense of what the next timeline is going to look and feel like so he can activate the usual levers and pulleys that make it all sail with minimal discomfort and chaos.

The other world, the 4D/5D world, is one that has him on the ropes half the time. It is a world of trust, surrender, and inherent joy and he just doesn’t know how to fit into that sometimes. He says, “Just give me something to do, and I will do it!”. As I connect with myself from this world, I can feel his anxiety and his discombobulation. So I breathe with him.

When we sit in rest together, just being and feeling, the anxiety bubbles and then pops into vulnerability. Into tears. Into the feeling that he is not enough. Into a feeling that he is feeling like he is losing his ability to ‘hold it all together’ in the face of so much change, momentum, and goodness.

The feminine in me comes to his aid and just sits with him. She invites him to lean in when he has felt like he has had to be the lead all the time. She is not looking for a warrior or a soldier, she is looking for his truth. His needs. His real-ity. That is his royalty.

As the tears flowed and the energy of all that he has been holding for the past several months came to the surface, a calm came into his being. Not a cure, but a calm. He knows he still has things to feel. Things to continue to let go and let in. He so much wants to be a King to her Queen.

The first step is admitting when he doesn’t feel this way and that it is okay. This is where she comes in to hold that space for him to arise anew. To be resurrected from an old way of being in the world. For that world is dying, and he is being reborn into his sacred service of heart-centered leadership.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a facilitant, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

The Seven Areas Of Life: Past, Present and Future

Published on by Raianna Shai3 Comments

By Raianna Shai

I decided recently to do my own version of this popular “Decade In Review” style post. One of the tools we use in SoulFullHeart to process where we are in our life, and where we want to be is using the “7 Areas of Life”. These areas include Emotional, Spiritual, Social, Physical, Mental, Environmental and Financial. I thought it would be a really cool practice to use this to review where I was 10 years ago, where I am now, and where I’d like to be in the future. I felt into each area of life and processed my own personal past, present and future. I’ll write a little bit about what I discovered, I’ll include the article that I used as reference and I’ll attach an outline for you to fill out yourself!

First, here is the article about the 7 Areas of Life: https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/3d4d5dselvesquestions

This article is divided into the 3D/4D/5D versions of each of these areas of life. 3D being a denser frequency focused on a way of seeing the world through the 5 senses. Lower 4D has more of a rumbly feeling with the way you’ve always seen the world starting to change, often with feelings of anger, injustice and frustration. Upper 4D frequencies are when you start to heal a lot of your trauma and fear and in turn, return to love and peace inside of yourself. 5D is the higher self version of you that has little reaction and can move through life in flow, trust and love for everything and everyone while still being able to hold boundaries.

One thing I noticed about myself in this, is that 10 years ago I primarily resonated with the 3D version of these areas, currently I find myself closest to upper 4D and for my future I would love to reach a level of 5D conscious in all areas.

10 years ago: I find that I have no judgement of the 14 year old version of myself being more in 3D. She was young, kind and intelligent but had so much insecurity and fear that much of her reality was clouded over compared to its potential. She was also very shy and would rarely speak up in class, say her truth or admit any feelings that weren’t positive. Drama would happen all around her and she would do whatever she could to not be involved. She wanted to please everyone and be the perfect student/daughter/friend and later girlfriend.

She was very emotional, though not very aware of where her emotions came from or how they could actually affect others if left unhealed. Socially, she had the same friends since kindergarten but was about to move to Canada and embark on a completely new journey. This change in environment proved to massively change my self confidence and ability to take on new and scary situations. She was awakened to some spirituality a couple of years prior but wasn’t able to sustain much of this connection. At this point, she had no real desire to connect to spirituality and focused more on the mental aspect of her life. She is a vastly different person from who I am today but the essence of who I am was still there inside of her. Compassion, emotion, and joy.

Today: Feeling into who I am now helped me have so much gratitude for all of the hard emotional and spiritual work that I have done so far. So much unworthiness, insecurity and fear has been shed in the last 10 years and it’s because of every single experience that I have had. Whether they felt good or bad in the moment, I can see now the purpose for all of it.

In the last three years or so I have become SO much more in tune with parts of me and my emotions. Discovering the root causes of my fears and feeling them into healing. My connection to spirituality has substantially increased with experiences of kundalini, openings with the Divine and more relationships with my metasoul and galactic families. My social world has been a rollercoaster ride these last 10 years with much letting go of that which no longer served where I wanted to go and who I wanted to be. Now I have opened the doors for beings who inspire my spiritual journey and resonate on every level possible. I have changed environments in big ways including a move to Mexico and back to Canada which allowed me to appreciate the energy of where I live and cultivate a center inside of me that will stay with me anywhere in the world! Financially, I have an online job that allows me to spend my days working on my soul purpose, even if the job itself is not directly a part of that. I am so proud of where and who I am today. I am excited for even more growth but if I died today, I would be so happy with exactly where I’m at now, and I never thought I would be able to say that.

Future: I have such a clear and yet flexible picture for how I see my future. I imagine even less fear and reaction, more love flow in every moment, and deeper connections with resonant souls in my life. Travel is a huge desire of mine and connecting that to service is even more enticing. Having a property that is filled with our SoulFullHeart community while having phases of travel within that is probably number one on my list. I see myself serving others as a facilitator as well helping behind the scenes to organize, plan and design. My creativity has been flowing much more lately and I hope to connect these skills to my finances and service. I feel my relationship flourishing and deepening every day, helping each other grow and become loving mirrors for each other. Socially, I would love more women to connect with and have comfortable yet growthful experiences with. I would love to have less anxiety and less thoughts spinning around in my head. In this, I see more trust and flow with my mentality and existing more through emotion and intuition.

This practice was huge in helping me feel love for the 14 year old version of myself, gratitude for where I am now, and excitement for what the next 10 years hold! I highly recommend doing even a couple of these areas of life, especially the ones you are struggling with or would like to see movement in. It can be hard for parts of us to not judge where we are but it helps to see how far we’ve come! We are a beautiful and messy work in progress and we will never be the same soul that we were yesterday.

 

 

Here is an outline I created to make it easier for you to organize it all if you like!

Emotional: The Emotional area of life includes the relationship you and parts of you have to your emotions, your subconscious, your pain body, emotional healing, and emotional expression.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

Spiritual: The Spiritual area of life includes the relationship you and parts of you have to your Spirituality, soul gift expression, soul purpose, Ethereal Guides, the Divine, and your energy body/chakras.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

Mental: The Mental area of life includes the relationship you and parts of you have toward your intelligence, knowledge, non-duality, wisdom, and mental-based intuition.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

Social: The Social area of life includes the relationship you and parts of you have to birth and soul family, friendships, romantic mateships, Ethereal Guides, and Star BEings.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

Physical: The Physical area of life includes the relationship you and parts of you have to your physical body, your health, your nutrition, your sexual desirability and expression.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

Financial: The Financial area of life includes the relationship you and parts of you have to money, material wealth, abundance, livelihood, soul purpose expression and purpose.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

Environmental: The environmental area of life includes the relationship you have to your physical surroundings, geography, global and galactic environment, the natural world, and animals.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

 

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Healing, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about free intro calls and 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Current Activations Help Us See, Feel, Heal Our Deep 3D/4D Matrix Conditioning

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Solais

We have grown up in a 3D society that encourages us to stay feeling full, ‘fat’ and flat.

Over-stimulated and underfelt are the many parts of us who continue to show up in life and relationships to ingest and then digest experiences, trauma, and what we’ve been told is ‘food’ too.

We’ve been taught that compassion is only a sidedish to being empathic rather than the main course if we’re encouraged to be empathic at all growing up or to ask for others to feel us… which happens in 4D consciousness too, where being an ’empath’ is often worn as a millstone around our necks instead of deeply inhabited and responded to.

Feeling ourselves in a heart-open way, let alone feeling others, is not encouraged and is instead told to be buried and covered over by the heavy cement of our education systems, our food industries, mainstream ‘medicine’, our consumption of ‘entertainment’ and even ‘spirituality’ itself.

Parts of us have taken on the role of shaming and shunning what is new and different, what isn’t mainstream, as it blooms inside of us and around us. This is typically an Inner Punisher part, yet other parts of you can be wrapped in this too and Metasoul aspects who are afraid to feel themselves, to digest the trauma of their timelines. In this way, this very much applies to 4D consciousness as well as 3D, as there are still matrices in place, rules to follow, ideas that are more acceptable than others, and ultimately still some expectations of how it all should be and look like.

Trauma should be ‘gotten rid of as quickly as possible’ instead of steadily and heartfully investigated and loved…. this is a popular one in 4D and a meme that relates to all of this deeply seated conditioning inside. This has been detrimental to our growth and our possibilities for deepening self-love and respect as well, as parts of us then go back into hiding where they continue to feel unfelt, unheard, and ultimately unloved…

To unseat these pieces, we have to take the space to feel ourselves with deep honesty… this is the hard part, as we haven’t been shown how to do this. You may struggle with taking time for yourself due to a busy lifestyle that you’ve needed for a phase or a relationship that feels rumbly enough already. I myself have been in a phase of more busyness than normal with exploring different ‘jobs’ and a new social world too. This is what’s reflecting all of these pieces to me and is something I’m going into in my soul… what have been the over-attachments in ME that have kept parts of me reeling and spinning in conditioning that simply doesn’t fit them anymore? What timelines are my Metasoul aspects still living in that are being reflected now, where they have perpetuated this conditioning in their own ways or been victims to it?

There’s so much to glean from all of this inner exploration with parts of you and in your soul too, should the timing feel right to really go into it and INvestigate it all… you can find out more about ‘parts’ and ‘Metasoul aspects’ here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

I really feel we are ALL being encouraged to SEE all of this as well as to feel it. To let the light activations coming in help it all become illuminated for us and with us, to collaborate with us individually on new ways to approach life and love… especially our sense of self-love, from which all capacity to love others stems. We CAN learn to love and appreciate the conditioning we’ve signed up for while also moving through it into something new.

Much love to you, wherever you are on your own journey with this and so much more… 

~

Join Raphael and Jelelle Awen on September 14th for a 4D Matrix Healing Group Transmission! More details here: https://www.facebook.com/events/1340021326164133/

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Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Healing The ‘Black Sheep’ Archetype

Published on by Kasha Rosa5 Comments

by Kalayna Solais

When you’re a child, you start to learn right away what is expected of you. You’re meeting expectations of when to start talking, walking, even behaving more maturely, whatever definition of ‘mature’ you’ve been taught. You learn, then, about what makes you feel like you’re on track with this and what doesn’t and you take in the impact of that.

As you get older and start to awaken more to your soul but also what your heart really feels and wants, the pain starts to set in… the pain of feeling like you don’t belong and maybe never have. A feeling like you simply cannot ‘win’ no matter what you do or don’t do. Parts of you form to deal with this and find a way to be in the world but you still can’t reconcile your differences; those aspects of who you are that seem to set you apart from everyone else.

In some cases, you may start becoming ‘therapized’ as the only way that your 3D-conditioned parents or authority figures feel they can ‘help’ you. You may be put on medication that numbs and dulls your natural ability to FEEL. Even the anxiety and depression you’ve experienced, which is held by parts of you that are hurting and also feeling on their radar a sense that they really aren’t safe in this conditioning and aren’t being loved the way they need and deserve to be.

You now see yourself as the ‘black sheep’ of the family but also of the culture you’ve been raised in. You may even feel this with your friends or co-workers. I know I have.

In my recent process, I was working with a part of me that always felt she was the ‘black sheep’. We had to go into a scene together where she could line-up her birth family members and feel the lingering judgements and criticisms, the messages of ‘you’ll never make it on your own’ which may not have been directly said but were energized.

Together, we could start to feel their Higher Selves in the room too, and their Higher Selves offered that this wasn’t actually about what it seemed to be about… it wasn’t about me or this part of me being a ‘failure’ (though in a 3D sense it’d be pretty easy to see it that way). It was actually about a wonder they have at the conditioning I’ve been able to say ‘no’ to, the risks I’ve said ‘yes’ to and the trust I now have more and more in my life, even the challenges that sometimes feel like mountains to climb.

In this, I found compassion for them even though I still hold a boundary.

In this, I found a way to truly see and honour myself and my own journey as well as seeing the sacredness of their own.

In this, I could feel how this theme of ‘not belonging’ and being looked down on somehow has played out in all of my relationships in one way or another, even with my soul family and my recent marriage too.

And, in this, I could feel how just about every single one of us who has been on an awakening and healing journey has felt like some form of the ‘black sheep’ and played out this theme countless times, often with angst and restlessness and even suicidal feelings.

On the other side of this process, I could bring this part of me into a new form other than the ‘black sheep’. She was able to shake off the black and the sheep suit came off too. She turned into a young lioness, full of power and presence, yet with heart and vulnerability. She is finding a new home inside of me where she can truly belong and be seen and loved for who she is, even in those times where she is being shown something not-so-easy to see or feel about herself.

You’ve been taught to look outside of you for validation and even for connection to Divine love.

You’ve been conditioned to believe that you’re always supposed to ‘achieve’ and ‘succeed’ even though the goalposts keep moving. This happens in 3D and also 4D in different spiritual groups too where your ‘black sheep’ feelings can become amplified instead of felt deeply, often in the form of ‘tough love’ which is really just outright abuse.

The feelings of not-belonging can be healed as the parts of you begin to unify, one by one, with each other and with you.

Love is the glue that brings your heart and soul back together again to wholeness within that can no longer be severed. Love is the juice that catalyzes the transformation from within. Yours is the love your lost and world-weary parts most need to feel, to remove their own sheep suits… for they were never meant to be ‘sheep’.

They were meant to be ‘lions’.

Much love! ❤

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Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

Energy Update: We Are Integrating Awakenings/Realizations From Lion’s Gate Portal

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Solais

There’s a powerful integration phase happening now as we continue to move out of Lion’s Gate and into a NEW rhythm in our lives. Whatever has been stirred up by the high, catalytic energies is now settling more into our hearts and living there, even the uncomfortable pieces that we are still digesting and moving through. There will likely be uncomfortable things to keep digesting, especially as Disclosure continues to unfold and so much is being illuminated by that alone for everyone… even those who until now haven’t bought into it or resonated much with it.
On a 3D level, this has been a phase of many new awakenings. It’s like a whole new class has entered the undergraduate degree program at ‘Ascension University’. The 3D Self and the parts that make it up are having their own reactions to this ongoing process of awakening. You may be one of these souls or you may be currently supporting others in this as they try to understand what is being activated and how to relate with it. We’re being asked to have patience and compassion for these souls, as there’s no need for elitism around any of this, even though bridging to them can be challenging. There’s much we can offer, even in small doses, to see what helps them open their hearts to their own souls.
On a 4D level, much has been brought out into the open from the Metasoul and the veil has been quite thin. Parts of the 3D Self are upgrading too, realizing how NOT 3D they actually are. This is very necessary right now, as the more we are still personally anchored into 3D, the more suffering there is without context for it and parts of us do truly need this context to help move them into deeper awakening and healing experiences along with us.
My own 3D Self named ‘Katie’, which is the name I went by until my mid-twenties, is starting to see her gifts even though this has been a huge struggle for her with the bombarding messages from 3D consciousness that validate insecurities and encourage smallness. She’s starting to see how she was always meant to be a 3D ‘Bridge’, not an entire ‘Self’ that is supposed to lead life and in this way she can help orient to 3D as needed without being fully anchored there. She really has more of a 4D consciousness and awareness than she even thought until now and this is starting to activate in many other 3D Selves too.
This process with ‘Katie’ has been hugely supported by my Sirian aspect, ‘Ineerah’ throughout Lion’s Gate. She has helped me tremendously with catching this part of me up to my reality and the goodness there truly is within me and in my life too. She has been helping me move into an even deeper healing of the baseline emotional reality of this part of me, who expects the worst most of the time and can easily find reasons to feel sad or be in despair. There is a tender new unification happening within as other parts of me come together to offer her the attention and love she needs.
This is what’s possible as we integrate the illuminations of our 3D consciousness habits and our 4D ones too as we move into letting IN more 5D consciousness and re-anchoring there. We can’t skip this process of really looking at it all and feeling it all through, asking ‘why?’ relentlessly and with so much desire to love ourselves more. We can only LOVE ourselves into 5D reality being our new ‘baseline’… any other approach cannot last for long nor is it meant to.
This so applies to everything we hear in the news, everything we take in from the Disclosure world. We are being asked to feel how this impacts us and reflects us back to us again. We are being invited, constantly, to bring our hearts to it and to feel what we want to experience, starting inside of us, on the other side of the necessary mess.
MUCH love to you in this humbling and REAL integration phase, whatever this looks like for you… ❤

 

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Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.