One of the most difficult aspects of our healing can be coming to terms with our ‘Inner Punisher’ voice or what is frequently referred to as the ‘Inner Critic’. This voice is the one that keeps other parts of you in a state of guilt and smallness. There is a very good reason for it and it is usually used as a protection to keep you from getting hurt, as ironic as that may feel.
This part, when felt and given a sacred space to bring out its truth, can transform to a deep ally as your healthy discernment, truth-teller, and boundary-setter. This occurs over a back and forth relationship that develops and reveals over time.
This meditation, written by SoulFullHeart Facilitator Kalayna Colibri and voiced by Gabriel Heartman, takes you to a hallway of doors where you get to meet and feel the presence of your ‘inner- punishing’ energy. You are escorted and supported by your sacred masculine and sacred feminine guides. You will encounter your ‘Inner Protector’ along the way to make sure that this is the time for this meeting. (More on the Inner Punisher here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/protectorpart)
If you have not met your Inner Protector yet, we advise that you do so before this meditation as the entry point into your emotional body. You can find that at:
The music gratefully used in this guided meditation is from Taos Winds Spirit Music Channel:
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A tender response from a wonderful bridging session I had with a male soul yesterday:
“I don’t even know how to say how much I appreciate you and the insights you share! It seems like a process that gives a path to experiences I got to feel and bare witness to in visions. It’s like everything you say is complimenting a notion or sense I have in regards to the 3d/4d/5d”
This is it. The time to get on with the getting on. The letting in. You have dug in the soil, spent time in the darkness, and found your truest gift to the world….the desire to love yourself enough to choose real love. To follow the challenges and choice points that lead you to its ever-expanding and all-encompassing playground. Time to love those parts of you that haven’t been able to see past the dark and trust there is a different, bigger, and sexier world that exists in this very moment.
Keep watering your garden. The one you have tended to with much diligence and self-care even when it was hard as hell. It is not part of your destiny to give up now. You just need to find others to water your garden WITH you, not for you. Those that are doing the same in the name of bearing that magical fruit of pure joy and creative power in the name of more Love.
Let your roots find their strength in your ever-opening heart to let in and serve more love. We are an independent community garden that is interdependent on those hearts and souls that have chosen to plant themselves in and near our raised bed. It is time to choose to be loved by others as you have chosen to love yourself in the name of real explosive growth.
Loving yourself is just the beginning. Sharing and serving that love is what comes next. This is your sacred human calling.
******
Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.
I feel like I have been in a parallel dimension that past couple of days. Feeling very tired and heavy in my body, not so much in my heart. There has been a feeling that I of moving in a field of density that made it hard to really feel motivated to do much. And that was actually a good thing. It gave me an opporTUNEity to tune into what is moving inside me and the collective as we are moving through this gateway.
I could feel how the 3rd dimension is in progress of a deep and immense purging from our spiritual and physical bodies that reverberate through our emotional bodies. It is like our emotions are the bridge between the two. Our own personal dowsing rod to access the direction of our True North.
As we continue to receive the invite from ‘above’ to move UP, to shift into timelines that most reflect our deepest gifts and authentic hearts, we begin to feel all that we have held as 3D energy inside the cells of our bodies and hidden places in our hearts. To the parts of us still with 3D anchors and emotional woundings, this can feel like a prying apart at times and that can manifest in so many varied ways in our bodies and our emotions.
As a sensitive to this purging and shedding, you may feel the collective response as well that adds to or amplifies your own. It can make you a bit mad at times wondering what the hell is really going on with you! There is a lot filtering through the Metasoul as well, as part of the ascension process is to heal that which remains in the karmic holding tanks of your soul.
The third dimension is in the rearview and if we still have energy there it is going to feel intense and draining at times. This is where going IN and doing the deep dive to feel all those anchors that may be spinning you in circles or giving your physical self some fits. This is an exciting yet intense time! It is not all candy corn and rose petals for many. Yet it doesn’t have to be suffering either.
There is a pathway. It is you consciously entering the domain of your heart and soul to navigate the beings inside you we call parts and aspects. They hold the keys, the answers, and more questions. They are ones that have been protected and the ones who have been doing their damnedest to make sure that you don’t get hurt this life, and yet ironically there is a pain in that as well. (More about parts/Metasoul here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts)
Finding, honoring, and feeling these parts of you are what help to release those anchors and help Love find its way into your heart again. To help the process of Ascension take you to your forgotten 5th-dimensional realms of passion, joy, and creation. There is a field of dreams awaiting you, me, and all of us. It is Now and it is Here….on the inside.
Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.
One of the main characteristics of a soldier or ‘warrior’ is the need for a facade. A face that gets put on to tell the world that you’re ‘confident’, ‘righteous’, ‘in it to win it’, even while there are feelings being stuffed down of unworthiness, shame, sadness, fear. This is the way the warrior likes to lead, without vulnerability, without being willing to feel his/her impact, and often with an over-focus on the self that becomes out of balance quickly in many moments. This part or face can sometimes turn this around too, claiming that it is acting out or energizing ‘on behalf of humanity’, for example, yet to feel a need to ‘fight’ is still about the self and not about a truly compassionate response towards others.
There’s endless ‘evidence’ available, especially as you move into and through lower 4D consciousness, that the world needs you to gather yourself up and ‘go to battle’ for something or someone, somewhere somehow. This especially seems true for Indigo souls, like myself, who in most cases have come into this life with a strong projection of life being an endless battleground of structures to dismantle and truths to uncover. This projection is complicated though… to truly feel it takes layers, challenging mirrors, process, and a willingness to look inward. This process still unfolds for me to this day, but so much of it has moved, even recently, because of going inward, being with the parts and Metasoul Aspects still living in battlegrounds – from the ‘war scenes’ of birth family dynamics to the other-timeline realities bleeding through of women’s suffrage, the fall of Atlantis, and a variety of other scenes of war and protest and injustice.
In the end, injustices being suffered in this world cannot be fought on behalf of, not with a sustainable and deep healing of them to be possible, for then we are not templating a new way to BE, starting within, and that is what this world most needs and is in the process of seeing/feeling more deeply.
There is a righteous inner suffering ground within the ‘warrior’… a push-away to love in its essence and to the love that you are in your essence. Frustration loops of ‘nobody is listening’; ‘nobody sees/hears/feels/understands me’, ‘I’m right and yet others keep fighting with me!’ reverberate inside, justified by parts of you that have become very good at finding evidence to support these loops. The place of deeper healing and movement around these frustrations is not one of the world suddenly improving or ‘getting better’ or letting you in in a way it hasn’t before, but a courageous gaze inward, to see yourself, to feel your parts and Metasoul Aspects, to be with the ‘need’ for the frustrations and battles and feel what’s underneath these frequencies and thoughts that only in the end breed more battles, more need to be ‘right’, and no room to care about how this impacts the world around you, your relationships, and YOU too.
I’m really feeling strongly like there has been a fortified veil of illusion that looks a lot like a curtain with the motif of war printed on it. This veil has been placed, WITH your soul’s CHOICE of walking out this projection, over all relationships to people, Gaia, the Universe, and yourself. This veil or curtain feels like it has holes in it though… holes that have come from it simply wearing down because of the waves of love coming in that have penetrated it, even in fleeting moments.
Love wants to help you dissolve this curtain, piece by piece, as you continue your process of feeling the parts and Metasoul Aspects that are attached to it being there and that have been used to this overlay being the only way they have been able to relate with the world. The dissolution of this overlay cannot happen without your Inner Protector being on board with it though, and probably your Gatekeeper too. They have probably both been working very hard to keep it hanging there because they have felt like the ‘warrior’ facade has been much more necessary and safe than the vulnerability that even they feel. You can read more about these very important and powerful parts of you, here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts and soulfullheartwayoflife.com/gatekeepers
Ultimately, it’s all about love… and a journey to remembering that love doesn’t need to be ‘fought for/on behalf of’. The journeys of everyone are divergent, messy, different, SACRED. The journey into, through, and beyond 3D, 4D, even 5D has been and continues to be challenging and growthful. If you can find yourself getting to a place within yourself where the need to conflict without care starts to shift into a new realization that, thankfully, not everything needs defending and not everything is about you or parts of you, then you can and will find your truest sense of empathy and compassion — an ever-purifying pool of self love that you can pour from into your connections with others and service of love calling.
You will find your deepest, most vulnerable reality, and the purest heart of your being that has always been there, even in the most ‘war-torn’ moments of your life and Metasoul experience… that is a very refreshing place to live, love and serve from!
Much love! ❤
~
I offer space-holding through Bridging Sessions for young women around and under the age of 35… they are 90min long and are a $55 USD min. donation to book. Please feel free to be in touch with me on Facebook or through our email address: soulfullhearts@gmail.com if you feel ready for this space, the mirrors that you most want/need to look into, and the illumination of your next steps on your healing and Ascension process. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session for more info.
***
Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 35, emoto-spiritual teacher, WayShower, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.
It’s the release of our weekly Museletter! Offering ALL of our writings, videos, events, healing offerings, and audio blogs for the week! Go here to read it!
This week’s Museletter features an offering from Kalayna Colibri. This article is one that she wrote with her Sirian-Lyran galactic aspect, Ineerah. It is an invitation to feel the symbiosis we are all a part of as sacred humans arising in this Universe we live in, offering that our Ascension is purposeful for the Whole, not just our own species:
“There is much to feel for each of you, much left to discover about yourself as you also discover the Whole you are part of. You get to have both, the individual you are and the Whole, and one serves the other in another expression of symbiosis. We, your Sirian-Lyran aspects, are here to assist you in this passageway which will be an intense experience for many of you. The intensity depends on the need to feel deeper still, what there is to heal, what there is to awaken to as your past-present-future timelines collide and in some cases, clash. If you find yourself in a mess, it is a sacred mess. We are here if you need guidance and we look forward to connecting with you as you walk through this. We cannot walk through it for you, as we have already done that ourselves, but we can offer you pictures and senses of the goodness that is coming as you courageously continue your ascent on all levels of your being.”
There were two live stream Q & A’s held this week, one by Raphael and Jelelle Awen and the other by Kalayna Colibri and Gabriel Heartman. Both took place to offer a digestion space for the impact of the energies coming in from this lunar eclipse and the pending Lion’s Gate portal. The recordings of both of these live streams are available for you to take in.
Many new writings and audio blogs are here for you this week from Gabriel, Kalayna, Raphael, Jelelle, and Raianna Shai too. They feature digestions of the current energy influxes, digestions of the inner processes you may find yourself walking out, and the blessings that come from choosing love over fear and bigness over smallness.
You’ll find information about our five-day retreat happening here in beautiful, Puerto Vallarta, Mexico in November, 2018. You can read more about that here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/events
We all offer 1:1 90min Bridging Sessions to help boost and digest your Ascension process and feel with you what your next steps are towards your highest timeline possibilities. These sessions are available for $55 USD min. donation per session. More information can be found here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session
We love to share our offerings with you and would enjoy to receive whatever heart donation in the form of money you feel that resonates with our offerings. You can go to our donation page for more info on how to donate: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations
Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Way of Life! If you’d like to receive these Museletters directly and automatically in your email every week, you can subscribe on our website at: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/writingmuseletters
It has been exactly one year today that I moved to Mexico. Not only that, but it has been one year that I really began to see myself. To honour the unique and different parts of me that may not always coexist in harmony, but that I have come to realize care for me and each other so deeply.
One year ago I began a deep dive into my emotional body and spirituality that shone a light into the dark corners of my existence. What I uncovered were often scared parts that felt unworthy of love. From a fierce protector that did anything it could to protect me and my other parts to those young and pure parts that I felt needed protecting.
The biggest and most beautiful thing that I learned this year was how to love. How to love these parts of me, because that’s all they really need and want. To love others so genuinely that I can let them go knowing it’s best for the both of us. To love all of the souls I haven’t met yet by cultivating love within myself first.
I have learned and felt how setting boundaries (with love) is the biggest way to nourish your soul and to send the message to your parts that they matter. That the energy I choose to be around and take in, matters. I have learned that boundaries don’t mean hate or not accepting someone for who they are. When done from the heart, boundaries are the most loving thing you can do when someone you care about cannot yet see their own bigness or yours.
I spent a lot of time away from my family before moving here but something has changed. They aren’t just my family anymore, they are my soul family. I’m at a place now where I don’t have to hide. I don’t have to put everyone else first because I know that they are taking care of their own parts as lovingly and fully as possible.
I’ve always loved helping others. Talking through what was going on in their lives, making them feel better, finding solutions or a silver lining. But I wasn’t giving that to myself at all. I was so scared of the dark places inside of me that I couldn’t even nourish the light. I would help anyone I could to escape the emptiness I felt inside. I felt so disconnected from my soul and judgement towards the intense emotions I could feel sometimes. It was like a drug hit to be able to feel someone else because in some ways I refused to feel my own parts.
Even when no one asked, when they would never expect me to hold as much as I did, I was there. It was my vice, my escape, to be able to be in their world and not my own, knowing I wasn’t happy. Knowing I wasn’t doing what was really in my heart. While also knowing I couldn’t help anyone in the way that I really wanted to.
I’ve got a lot more exploring to do but I feel that I am where I am meant to be in this moment. I am happy, I am becoming more fulfilled each and every day, and I am open to whatever it is this life (and others) lead me to next. I chose everything I have experienced this life and I’m more than happy that it led me here.
So thank you. To SoulFullHeart, to my soul family, to everyone who has ever touched my heart, to my parts, to my experiences, and to myself. For this journey we’re all on is precious. It’s hard, it’s arduous, and it can feel complicated to parts of us. But wow does it keep on giving us gifts!
It’s a rare person who can fully embrace where they’re authentically at in this moment on their journey… whether they are fully immersed in 3D or are consciously awakening, healing, ascending. Parts can tug and pull, wanting so badly to just be ‘there’ already, wherever ‘there’ is — a goal, a relationship, enlightenment. There is always something to desire and some reason to feel as if you’ll never get it and entitlement to these goals and desires can come up too, meaning that the steps to get there are not seen, embraced, or inhabited.
In this way, we fuse to parts of us that have a push-pull about life, about taking necessary and grounded steps, about somehow being with the gap between our desires and where we are/who we are right now.
The energies from the new moon and the eclipses are encouraging you to be where you are in a way that sees the steps ahead of you and can hold the parts of you that feel as if the goal posts keep moving. There’s a new level of maturity and growth being asked of you now. It’s asking you to see, with humility and grace, where you are in this moment. To REALLY see it and feel it. To feel what it is you really want to have or become that maybe isn’t ‘here’ yet. It can be so easy for parts of you to fall into the oubliette of forgetting the intentions in order to just find some level of satisfaction now… because ultimately they have a hard time believing that what they want is actually something they are supposed to and WILL have — IF they can be in the process of the arising 5D integration of your soul and sacred human heart and start to let in the journey of getting there.
These energies are helping to light up the footprints ahead of you too… there may only be one or two sets of them, yet they are there nonetheless. Meaning, there are others who have walked the path you’re about to tread. You don’t need to be a lone wolf forever, though parts may prefer that idea over the crucible of being in relationships with others or trusting different leaders/teachers and the wonders and challenges of that. A big challenge of looking at these footsteps and leaning into these leaders though, is of course the question of maintaining your sovereignty and YOUniqueness, but it’s also a challenge to not look at them and have parts of you become stuck in the mire of wishing to be where they are at, even before your own sacred steps have been taken.
Embracing where you are in this Now, feeling your journey and honouring it too… this is more challenging than it seems, yet, Divine, Celestial, Galactic support is here to help bridge you back to you and remind you that you are loved… always!!
This is all a reminder too that the journey is worth it — that there is no ‘winning’, ‘losing’, or ‘failure’ possible. Every single part of you that you’ll feel along the journey of even feeling THIS as true is worth it because they need to come along with you and they are part of you who are right Now. Every feeling is the roadmap and the markers are appearing right in front of you.
Much love! ❤
~~~
I offer 90min, 1:1 Bridging Sessions for young women around and under the age of 35… if you’re interested in meeting with me and digesting more about these pieces and anything else that is coming up for you, we can feel all of that and more together. Visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session for more information. ❤
***
Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 35, emoto-spiritual teacher, WayShower, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.
Okay peeps, let’s jump back on that Millennial train! All aboard the Generation Express!
I’ve been feeling into this topic more and more and even decided to do a bit of research today to get a feel of how others perceive Millennials. The biggest thing I grabbed from this research that ties it all together is the label “Generation Me”. This feels interesting to me because it covers the perceptions of this generation being both narcissistic and open minded. There seems to be an agreement that technology and the Great Recession have had huge impacts on our generation as well.
That felt a bit like writing an essay but part of me (probably my masculine) wanted part of my digestion to be “informed”. Now to feel my feminine intuition and what the plights, struggles and desires are in general for people around my age.
Feeling into this “Generation Me” label, my first thought is that this feels true on some levels. I feel that technology has not changed anything about who we are, but it has ushered in a new wave of self awareness. How we present ourselves has become more relevant because more people can “see” us online rather than just in person. It’s impossible to say whether an entire group of people is self absorbed or just self aware – the important thing is feeling how this “Me” space can become emotionally and spiritually healthy.
Being self aware does not have to be a negative thing. In fact, nothing is truly “negative” when you feel the layers deep down inside. Someone who seems “materialistic” “narcissistic” or “entitled” really just has parts that are scared. Scared of failure, of losing what they love, of not being good enough or being abandoned. Of course, these parts need a mirror to be able to take responsibility for how they affect others, but they also need love and support. They don’t need to feel wrong or less than any other parts, they just need a boundary and a space to feel their fears. This in turn can transmute into more self loving feelings such as confidence, self acceptance, and trust in the Divine.
On the other end of the spectrum, there are people at this age that are seen as tolerant, open-minded, and selfless. These are all beautiful things to be, but where does the self care come into this? The more narcissistic parts of you may seem “bad” compared to these other parts of you, but their gift is that they know how to put themselves first. Which does NOT make you selfish or unable to serve others. Putting your own process first just means that you feel worthy of love and understand that it’s so important to fill up your own love tank before you can fill up others.
Many of my own parts tend to be more like this and I find it so difficult to speak my truth. My parts don’t quite have the self love built up enough to express love in the form of boundaries and truth telling. They can feel like they’re being “mean” or “unfair” when in reality their truths can be beautiful enough to catapult someone into their next phase of bigness. Tolerance sounds great on the surface, but would you rather be tolerated by someone, or truly loved for the bigness you are?
I still have more to feel into this piece on “tolerance” because it is SO huge today, and I want to feel what my deepest truth is around it. My parts want to love everyone fully and completely and I do feel that I love everyone and every soul here with me in this experience. But this does not equate unconditional love. We have conditions in order to be in relationship. My conditions lie in a healthy and loving relationship to emotions and parts, an ongoing process of getting know and love those parts, and a self awareness that continues to lead to heart openings within and without. That doesn’t mean I don’t have love in my heart for absolutely everyone, that is the difference.
Maybe your conditions are just “don’t be a murderer” but it is a condition all the same. These boundaries show your parts that they matter. That they don’t have to be around any energy that makes them feel less than loved. Even contention can be full of love if it continues to move, flow, and be felt deeply. Boundaries do not make you a mean or selfish person, they show others that you hold them in the highest regard. It shows that you know they have the potential for such bigness and that that is all you can truly support for them. Boundaries held with your heart, are love.
So to “Generation Me” I say, whether you have parts that resonate with any of this or not, you are not wrong and your parts are not wrong. Living in self love and truth every single day takes time and work but it is SO worth it. YOU are worth it. Labels do nothing but hold you back from the absolute bigness that your heart really holds. You are not narcissistic, you are not mean, you are not even perfect. You are you. And THAT is perfect.
It’s the release of our weekly Museletter! Offering ALL of our writings, videos, events, healing offerings, and audio blogs for the week! Go here to read it!
This week’s Museletter features a piece by Jelelle Awen that digests the mirror that ALL relationships are, for what is going on inside of you. She offers that 3D reality has given us strong conditioning for looking outward instead of inward for answers about life and what we’ve drawn to ourselves in terms of relationship. Going inward is a powerful invitation into more growth and healing and a way to shift out of old relationship patterns:
“You realize, then, that EVERY relationship in your life is a reflection of relationships going on inside of you….from one part of you to another. The polarization with other people represents polarized realities inside of you….the inner child and the inner mother/father, the Punisher and the inner child/inner teenager, the inner feminine and the inner masculine. These parts of you seem to be ‘against’ each other in some way due to not being connected with, seen, and felt. The inner conflicts rage on unfelt and, so, draw the same dynamic on the outside. More about parts/Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts
You realize that the outward relationship would not be there if you didn’t need to SEE this inner relationship. Every relationship with another person serves as a mirror in this way. As you become more aware of your inner world and the parts in it, your soul self/5D Self coming into your body and waking consciousness can then choose WHAT mirrors it wants to see of itself.”
There are many new writings and audio recordings offered by Jelelle & Raphael Awen, Kalayna Colibri, and Gabriel Heartman this week, digesting the incoming energy waves, the full moon that passed through last week, and many other aspects of your healing and Ascension process, like letting go to let in, embracing the big soul that you are, and allowing your desires to be a sacred part of your journey too.
You’ll also find information about our five-day retreat happening here in beautiful, Puerto Vallarta, Mexico in November, 2018. You can read more about that here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/events
We all offer 1:1 90min Bridging Sessions to help boost and digest your Ascension process and feel with you what your next steps are towards your highest timeline possibilities. These sessions are available for $55 USD min. donation per session. More information can be found here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session
We love to share our offerings with you and would enjoy to receive whatever heart donation in the form of money you feel that resonates with our offerings. You can go to our donation page for more info on how to donate: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations
Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Way of Life! If you’d like to receive these Museletters directly and automatically in your email every week, you can subscribe on our website at: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/writingmuseletters
In this livestream broadcast recording on SoulFullHeart Experience Youtube Channel and facebook, SoulFullHeart Teachers, Ascension Guides, and Sacred Union Mates Raphael and Jelelle talk about timeline shiftings and collapses, 5D coming in, masculine and feminine balance, connecting with parts of yourself to heal emotion trauma and soul karma, and our personal shiftings too!
They will be regularly doing livestreams together which will be announced two hours ahead of time on their facebook feeds, so join them LIVE to ask questions, offer comments, and connect!
Don’t miss a thing! Get SoulFullHeart’s free weekly Museletter with all our writings and videos from the week via email through subscribing at http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com
Divine Self Embodiment Blog (Formerly SoulFullHeart) 