Tag: consciousness expansion

Day 18 ~ Journal To the Demiurge

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

(This is Day 18, of an ongoing series, to begin at Day 1, go here: https://soulfullheartblog.com/category/by-raphael-awen/journal-to-the-demiurge-series/

Today is Easter Sunday and in today’s ‘Journal To The Demiurge’; God has a meltdown – marrying the pagan death and rebirth with a Christian kind of repentance.

The Demiurge is another word for the Christian God, Jehovah, or Yahweh, who has been mercilessly created in our own image and stuck with our pedestalized shadow sculptings into a huge pretzel.

In the Journal entry prior to this one being released today, a part of me told God off in a big way. In today’s journal, the Demiurge responds with a huge heart opening and transparency!

Here is Day 18: 

Raphael: Okay, All. Let’s reconvene.

That was a big deal to digest. I felt a lot of rumblings through me and even raw edges that I’d like to digest here together, but it feels like it should be Demiurge who has the first opportunity to respond. Can you respond, Demiurge?

Demiurge: Yes, I can. Thank you. That popped something big in me. Rhodes, your words penetrated my heart in a way I didn’t know was possible. I’ve never felt your reality, any of you, like I did with your words, just my own reality. I’ve always passed off responsibility for my own actions onto others and onto the people themselves for exalting me as their sovereign. I have known for some time that something deep was shifting inside and outside. I just couldn’t feel what it was. I’m coming now to know what it is. I’d very much like to say, ‘I was wrong, and I am sorry.’ If there is anyway, I can be forgiven, I’d like to find that.

Raphael: My goodness! What a new timeline. The ‘God of heaven and earth’ seeking forgiveness. Wow. This is another layer to digest. This changes the trajectory of this summit. I felt a big rumble through me since Rhode’s confrontation of you, Demiurge. It felt like the remnants of a fear held inside of me of some kind of repercussions from you coming from parts of me or parts of my Metasoul. I’d like to check in to see who that might be.

Martin: I know, I’m definitely a piece of that, Raphael. I’ve held some hesitations about this whole idea of direct connection with you, Demiurge, as the Demiurge, rather than as the Christian God, in Christian surrender and obedience. I’m completely blown out of the water with all this. I’ve always felt fear of repercussions from ‘God’. When Rhodes told his truth, he spoke a truth from way down inside of me that I’ve never allowed to see the light of day. It scared part of me to feel that Rhode’s truth was my truth.

What I also know is that I used the conviction of being right with God as a powerful self-righteous superiority to bolster and bypass my own inner parts of myself that have never known real worth or real power. I see that I lived in fear of God as a small price to pay for having power over others. My god, to feel that I spawned a whole historic movement with my fear and my invalidated parts of myself is almost too much to bear. If only I could have seen this without needing the mirror of an entire denomination and 500 years to show it to me, and to the world?!

Raphael: Wow, what a revelation, Martin! From ‘the just shall live by faith’ to this. Wow. Let’s make space for other reactions and we will find the space to digest all of these together. Who else has reactions to Rhode’s words or to Demiurge’s words?

Arthur: I feel like I don’t deserve to be a part of this, having waffled between posturing to appease the Christians and posturing to appease what I knew to be real in Avalon, but couldn’t claim it,…didn’t claim it. I am very surprised to feel this unfolding to say the least. This changes history so much. I’d very much like to somehow change my history. I’m very sorry, as well. I was wrong. I’d like to be forgiven also.

Raphael: Metatron, feels like your turn? 🙂

Metatron: Thank you, Raphael. This changes everything. What was real before, is no longer real. There is remorse, now plain to see and feel. There were roles to play that have now completed. Remorse is the alchemy that births out the change. All that is required to right a wrong is to feel what there is to feel. Find and feel the part of you who did what it did and why it did what it did. You’ll find all the compassion needed for yourself and for those around you. Forgiveness begins with self forgiveness. When you forgive yourself, others forgive you. When others hold grudges, they are mirroring to you your own inability to forgive yourself.

Raphael: That’s so awesome to feel, Metatron.

Metatron: Isn’t it? I must admit, I got it from you, though. When we can see our makeup of parts of ourselves, we can go so many places we haven’t gone before.

Rhodes: I can so feel this about my own anger at ‘God’. A part of me was punishingly angry at myself for using my godlike powers for lesser things, to be smaller than I was, to cow down to other gods. I so couldn’t see any way out of this loop and so in turn projected the anger outwards. I feel in the moment, Demi, if I can call you that, how my anger at you was anger at myself. I’m sorry for that.

Demiurge: (gentle tears) Thank you, Rhodes. I don’t think you know this, but I always looked up to you like a god, and now I know some of why I did that. I’ve wanted to shed a skin for as long as I’ve existed, but felt it just wasn’t moving, would never move, and so I accepted it as the fate of the gods, to be this lesser god. I see you shedding this skin of your own, being born anew, Rhodes. I’d like nothing more than to experience the same. I’m sorry for the limitations I held for myself and for you. And yes, I can very much use a new name. Demi sounds good to me.

Rhodes: (also in gentle tears) You were the God, we couldn’t inhabit, couldn’t accept ownership of. We all created you, worshipped you and tried to hide our resentments of you at the same time. We really fucked ourselves up doing that. I’m sure, Metatron and Raphael have a metaphysical explanation for why we’d do such a fucked up thing, that helps us feel it as being part of the love we are, but in this moment, it feels really fucked up.

Demi: Fuck! I have never actually used that word. Not once before. That felt really good. Fuck! I have a lot to let go of and a lot to embrace, but somehow, I can feel in this space surrounded in all of your energy how this can all flow naturally and in time.

Raphael: Wow, Rhodes, you turned God into a foul mouth. I don’t mean to make light of something so profound, but this is the lightest proundundity I’ve ever felt. There’s deep coming home to self that feels so easy, and beautiful and natural. There isn’t any right way all of this is ‘supposed’ to be. There is deep sorrow and joy in the same space. There are deeper layers to feel for sure, but I feel they will come for us personally and collectively as we digest this. You just can’t make this stuff up, can you, and yet, that’s just what we did, didn’t we? I’m at a loss for any more words right now.

Does anyone else want to say anything for the record today?

Andy: I do.

Raphael: Yea, Andy. What say you?

Andy: I can feel there’s a whole lot of fun ahead. I so get that we need to feel these big pieces, but I feel oceans of fun and discovery that are waiting for us all to come out and play.

Raphael: I can only imagine, Andy.

Andy: I want to do more than imagine, Raphael, but imagining is a good place to start. It will take us there.

Raphael: You’ve got my vote, Andy. How about some breakfast, some new scenery and more connection soon?

Andy: I’m liking it.

Raphael: Thank you, everyone. What a new world we just entered. Let’s digest and be back soon.
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Day 19 ~ Journal To The Demiurge

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

I set out to connect with the Demiurge (as an Archetype of the Christian God, or Jehovah as he is known, in the Old Testament sense) some days back. Today’s journal entry penetrates the false world of the false God we created out of our need for separation and then, rememberance with the love that we are.

Some very tender tears and feeling points emerged today.

You can read this entire series from the beginning on the blog here: https://goo.gl/CgrWXZ

Here is Day 19:

Raphael: Good Morning, everyone. Everyone…, as in here in this immediate circle, yes, but also in ‘the many’ in the emanating circles flowing out from this one – Good Morning to you. ‘God Morning’ to you. A new day is dawning and it is as full of God as God can be.

When I feel what has moved for us in this journey, it so feels like a very wide and open space has opened out for us, creating a palette that awaits our imprint. I feel like I don’t know where to begin. The landscape is of fresh fallen snow so pristine. Can anyone help me out here?

Demiurge: In the silence just now, I thought for sure it would be Metatron who would speak for us all, but after waiting, I feel it is supposed to be me. I’m not sure I can speak, but I feel compelled to at least try. All of your intention and action to undertake connecting with me has opened out a place in me that I didn’t even know was there. I feel a gratitude that feels as large as what I can only describe as an ocean of falseness inside of me. Being the projection of everyone’s disowned power makes one look powerful, even feel powerful in moments, but underneath it all, I have felt like people’s disowned smallness and impotence, and fear. I have had official duties to carry out to keep the charade in place, but all of it is so far from real.

Raphael: Thank you, Demi. I like calling you by your new name. You don’t feel like the Demiurge to me any more. Maybe, Demi won’t even feel like a fit before too long at the rate of change you are living into now. This feels so tender what you are admitting and feeling today.

Demi: Thank you, Raphael.

Raphael: I want to ask you what it was that prevented you up until now from admitting the falseness you admit to today.

Demi: That question feels so large inside of me right now. The relief that I feel flooding into my being to make this admission so begs the question why I couldn’t or wouldn’t have done this sooner. I know it has to do with being literally fused to my reality, to not being able to see that there even was any options available to me. I don’t mean to say by that, that I don’t bear any responsibility, because I do. I know I accepted the projections the people put on to me, and I didn’t have to. I accepted that role as something at the time that seemed just too good to pass up. I wanted to be God, the creator and the destroyer of worlds. I was captivated by the role for a long time. But then, that captivation began to change, slowly, but with an unmistakable back pressure.

Raphael: To witness you, Demi, in a true alchemical midlife crisis is just so amazing to me in this moment, even beyond a midlife crisis really, stepping out into something new.

Demi: I can so feel the part of me that wants to curl up and die, to go away, to not face anyone. I need to feel that part of myself, and I also feel I need to accept responsibility for what I created, to feel what I avoided feeling, to feel people’s honest reactions.

Raphael: Well, in my book, if you are feeling all of that, at the same time, you are a true king of hearts.

Demi: I’d really like to ask your advice, Raphael. I know you asked my advice on so many occasions, under the false pretenses that are falling as we speak. I humbly ask you for your help and guidance. I want to live. I want to love. I want to fully accept my responsibility for what I’ve done, but I don’t want to live forever in punishment if at all possible.

Raphael: (tears) I am humbled by your humility. Looking in your eyes and feeling you, seeing you, come to terms with your remorse moves the entire universe, Demi. This is an act of your true Godhood. My advice is simply to feel us all feeling in this moment. Feeling what there is to feel while it is being felt is what transmutes everything that is awaiting transmutation. I’m so honored to share this moment with you.

Demi: I literally don’t know, what planet I’ve entered now.

Raphael: Metatron, maybe you could help us a bit here. What planet are we on? I’m not so sure myself.

Metatron: This is all the planets, Demi and Raphael. This is what holds together all matter and all spirit. This is what answers the heart cry of creation itself. This is the homecoming of love to itself.

Love birthed out of its oneness, a twoness, and in that was a great potential for relationship on one hand, but also, and fearfully so, was also a potential that this twoness would remain outside of the oneness in its experience, separate from love. Love seemed given to reckless abandon to do it anyway, prizing the gift of relationship over the fear of loss. What we are feeling today is loves vindication. Love has won. Love is winning. And, love still has much winning that has yet to occur. All of these are true. Love is out to marry its essence with all of experience.

Raphael: My goodness, Metatron! That is so wild. I thought you were going to help us locate ourselves a bit here. I feel more lost than I did before, but in a good way. Wow.

Metatron: Get used to it, my man! There’s a few more steps on this staircase awaiting the tread of your feet. You’re the one speaking about things awaiting to be felt. This is what creation itself is waiting and wanting to be felt.

Raphael: I recall that familiar verse in the Bible that says ‘the whole earth, or cosmos, groans in travail, as in birth pangs for the manifest sons of God’, and this moment reminds me of that.

Metatron: And what, Raphael, are the manifest sons of God? What do they do, what ‘be they be’ that makes them the manifest sons of God?

Raphael: I’d defer that question to you if I thought you’d let me, but I can tell you want my answer. Hmmm, what makes a manifest son of God? No pressure or anything, just the question at the heart of the universe wanting to be untangled. I’d say that has to do with feeling. Everything that is both right and wrong in the world has to do with what is felt or unfelt in the world. Sonship and daughtership is a relationship, an opportunity that begs feeling, a fireplace for the fire. When feeling what there is to feel is repressed, we create monsters of destruction that ultimately serve to take us back to our common need for love. Sons and daughters feel. Feeling takes us back to love. Even the monsters of our own creation are gifts that remind us of the love we are and always were, even as we individuated out from God, as a son or a daughter. I am a son and I am God. Both are true. How’d I do, Metatron?

Metatron: You’re rockin’ it man. You’re more metaphysical than I am sometimes!

Raphael: I think I need some ‘mega’physical about now. What say we take in some sun and surf to let in this piece? I know Andy wants to play, and I want to play too. Let’s rest up, digest and continue soon. We have a few more pieces left to feel together it feels like. Thank you, everyone.
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Trail Laid Back Home Is Through The Heart

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment
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You are consciousness. Everything outside of you is a reflection of you. Whether it is personal, global, or celestial. You are the past, present, and future in the Now. You are the Alpha and Omega. While we can let that in on a conceptual level and maybe some more viscerally than others, that feels like a tall order to our more limited way of feeling and seeing, especially when it is hard to just pay the damn bills!

You have wired up a special set of circumstances that are unique to your own personal journey of remembrance. You left breadcrumbs on the way back to source in the form of fractaled parts of you both this life and other lives. All of these create an infinite number of conditions that may be seen as obstacles as opposed to doorways. This is what your inner defense wants you to feel as the pain that was developed in response to this separation is much too hard for these parts to feel.

If you were humming on all heart cylinders you wouldn’t be seeking what it is that is keeping you from said hum. I know that is why I am here. I can feel my Higher Self in the room with me. There is a fluidity. A connection. A resounding of chords that are in balance and harmony. A deeply profound experience of Love that is so unknown to our daily consciousness.  These moments occur more and more the more we focus on that reality. The more we feel the part and aspects of us that is keeping us from feeling and experiencing the full breadth of our essence in our body.

We are continuing to experience more gateways, upgrades, and downloads. More of our essence and shadow are being made available to heal and embody. These are key codes and they are meant to unlock the deep wounding in our emotional body. They are like confetti from a divine and galactic parade in our honor, yet they do invite us to feel some really hard stuff. Come to some sobering and honest reflections about who we are and what has been in our soul field. In SoulFullHeart you will find that the you that is reading this is not truly You at all…and that is the shedding of all the layers that we have needed to make it all okay to be in this separation.  Separate from ourselves, our beloveds, our metasoul lives, and our galactic family.

So while this 3D life may feel like a burden to a part of you, it is also the pathway to your most highest expression and portal to love. It is the gateway to the expanded consciousness via your 4D protector that clears the way for more 5D sacred human expression. This is the mission of what we all came here to heal and become the vessels of Love Consciousness that lives in us all.

*****Join us this coming Saturday for our next SoulFullHeart group call with Raphael and Jelelle Awen at 11:11am CST. We do ask for a minimum $11USD love donation to receive the Zoom link. We will be discussion current and upcoming energy updates as well as how SoulFullHeart the process opens new doorways into embodying your highest timeline and Higher Self.

https://www.facebook.com/events/813881412132524/
Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Current Energies Illuminate 3D Heaviness, Attachments, Pain

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

veil of solitude by Rassouli

Painting: Veil of Solitude by Freydoon Rassouli

The density of this 3D reality… the density of the body, of the toxic foods and practices parts of us have held on to for so long… this is what’s being highlighted now, brought to our attention in visceral ways. There is cellular clearing, yes, physically and astrally too.

When you dream at night, it’s common to perhaps not wake up remembering what you dreamt about but to still feel yourself holding onto and recalling the feeling experience of it all. It can stay with you like that for a portion of your day, flowing into your life with you.

What was once considered important to be and stay attached to by parts of you, is also being highlighted now and you may feel just plain ‘tired’ of it all. Tired of the grind, of daily life scenarios that are less than fulfilling on a heart and soul level, of taking in life’s challenges without much sense of a bigger picture or intention holding it all.

These bubbles are all popping now. Energies coming in and moving through are waking up, shaking up your being and your consciousness level, first by showing you where your heart hasn’t yet been able to flow in concert with all it intends and holds to be true in line with your soul. Irritation, anger, dis-ease, discomfort, depression, heaviness, all signal that there is something that has been rigidly clung to up ’til now, that needs and wants and is asking to be looked at soberly yet with a renewed sense of love for YOU in your heart. Most of what has been held as so important, no longer feels so important… somewhat without an explanation, at least for the mind to grasp, for now.

This is a new reality that wants to birth you and the parts of you still in 3D pain and motivations, into 4D reality and higher. Moving into 4D reality can feel like careening through a dark corridor at times. Passing through 4D consciousness means inhabiting your questions and being open to answers that you can only feel and may not be able to ‘know’ just yet, as it all opens up for you again. It’s an awakening journey that needs more than a simple one-off healing session in order to move so fully into it that you can pop out of it again and into even higher frequencies where love can truly be an ally to every pore, every facet of your being.

As you feel the tension of this new birth canal, you can let in the message that ‘there is MORE!’ to let in. There is MORE to this life, to these challenges, to this tension you have felt. There is more than transcendence as a means to rise above it. There is a deep-dive inside, that brings out the old, over-inhabited conditioning that is getting ready to let go now, that is moving into a place of letting MORE flow into you – more love, more awareness of a bigger picture, more desire for health and healthy habits, emotionally and physically. More lightness and less density and the journey to finding and feeling this, one step at a time.

Your burgeoning and beckoning heart and soul maturation want so much to be held in a process that offers this MORE at and around every single corner. It isn’t a matter of being overly sober or shadow-hunting, but being aware, being open, feeling the immature places, holding them with love, and encouraging yourself, through getting to know and feel parts of you, to keep going IN and growing UP. There is much to feel as the more moves in, for there needs to be room made for it. SoulFullHeart may not be THE answer for everyone, yet it is AN answer and a powerful process bringing many new frequencies and feeling tones along with it. The scariest thing is the newness of what this path offers, that doesn’t look like anything you’ve likely yet experienced…

Riding these waves of energies right now, leading up to this gate opening on 11:11… there is love with you and flowing to you, as all is illuminated and brought up to be felt. It’s up to you, what choice you make, to go into the invitation to more process and deeper feeling spaces. And somehow, no matter what you choose, the goodness of it all is still there and you will never, ever be loved any less than you are right now.  ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Feeling Your Protective Layers As Downloads Rain Inward – 11/11 Gateway Invitation

Published on by Kasha Rosa3 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

Frederic_Edwin_Church_Rainy_Season_in_the_Tropics_700

 

NEW inspirations are downloading for you now. Sometimes they trickle in like a light rain from bloated rainclouds. It depends on what you’re ready for and what parts of you are opening up to. Your Gatekeeper, who is another layer of your Inner Protector, gages and siphons off these downpours and INpours of INspiration that want to come to you, to move you into new places in your life, to help you see and make those tough choices and take those challenging steps to reclaim, re-energize and reignite the flame of self-empowerment and love.

The energies leading up to the portal of 11/11 this weekend feel like a soft caress and rock music, all at the same time… there is understanding and love from the Divine and the Multi-verse, and there’s a strong invitation to shake off the dust and awaken to where love is flowing in your life and where it may not be. It’s not a violent shake, yet for some parts of you it may feel that way in moments, as the awakenings come in and take hold of your consciousness, or at least try to. Doorways, portals opening, yes, as they have been continuously, and the most powerful one imaginable is the one that begins to open up to a wider aperture inside of you. This is the one that truly invites in more energies, more upgrades, more loving ways to be in this world. It brings in desires to tread gently yet powerfully, acknowledging how this can seem like a paradox to those who haven’t experienced that you can hold both of these frequencies at once without violence or outrage or wounded masculine expressions of toil and strife, or battles and martyrdom.

If you feel ready for the downloads coming in, you can ask for them, but you cannot bypass what needs to be felt before they can integrate in the way they need and want to. For them to truly go in with love takes a lot of conscious and ongoing holding of the parts of you that don’t want them to or aren’t sure it’s okay. Your Gatekeeper, who I mentioned earlier, is the main aspect of you that is used to holding and blocking so many threads of your potential awakening that they haven’t deemed you to be ready for quite yet (and that they haven’t been ready to let in themselves, either).

My own Gatekeeper, who I first came to know as a defensive Inner Protector or Guardian, is offering to me that my readiness is ripening after what has now been several months of working with her, yet several years of working with parts of me that were dominant aspects of my personality. She says, “the soul and heart maturity level need to match with the maturity level of the arising, conscious Sacred Human, who is striving for spiritual consciousness, not in a mentally-based way, and is deeply exploring their heart and wanting to know more, FEEL more, about who they are and why, who/what the Divine is and why, as well as who they could be destined to become in conscious and empowered co-creation with the Divine… It is important to let in the process AND the downloads, to not simply try and open floodgates that are meant to and need to be there… for now. And too, the Gatekeeper needs to feel this relationship with you as your healing Sacred Human self, to trust the Divine through and with you, as so many (myself included at times, in some layers…) still feel very consciously and unfairly separated from the Divine and therefore, from the powerful force and trance of love that wants so much to flood into you and them too.”

It is a major process to feel into, this acceptance of what is being brought in, and there are many understandable defenses that want to keep it out or filter it in a way that is perhaps more digestible for now. There is nothing that can truly be missed out on here though, as each opening within you does create this ever-widening and expanding portal of access to YOU and to the Infinite Love that is the Uni and Multi-verse we exist in and through.

So perhaps the greatest invitation and inspiration being extended to us all with this 11/11 portal, is more of the same of what comes in with all of them… to continue to acknowledge and deepen the work within, to let it be and arise and take a stronger, more self-loving hold on your heart and soul. To invite in a reality that is heart-based, that works with the mind and not against it, and with the soul in a more sober way. There is so much still to feel and on the other side of that, so much more to just keep letting in as we continue our paths of deep inner transformation that continuously transform and upgrade our entire world as we kNOW it and rediscover it, today. ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Letting Go WITH Love

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

letting go with love

Letting go WITH love… this phrase is becoming more poignant now, bringing with it deeper meanings. We are being invited to really feel it. It can no longer mean letting go and closing a door for good or with numbness. This is being challenged by so many disasters and tragedies, all intended to evoke, not dampen or inspire numbness and escape. A broken wall becomes a doorway into another reality, another timeline. It is happening with our need to feel more now, to be faced with our shadows, to go INto it all, as it flows through and moves us too. No process is without fluidity. It is all a moving current, moving with what you are currently feeling, being and healing.

There is less and less stagnancy possible now. All is moving, even the ‘stuckness’ feelings and patterns. As you are invited to let go, you are invited to do so with love, with a full heart, and with deep care that begins from you to you. There are some things that cannot be let go of right now. Not while parts of you need them still. This is okay. They won’t need them forever. Eventually, these ‘needs’ which can look and feel like addictions, move too as you go inward, holding mourning processes with parts of you while also letting in that this ‘need’ was never all that loving towards you or them in the first place. This can be a romantic relationship, your relationship to your pet, a friend or birth family member. It can be a drug, prescription or not. It can be sex or shopping. It can be a part’s escape through your mobile phone or computer or gaming system. It can be and often is food too. There are so many ways that loops of ‘I want love, but I’m settling for this pattern and stuckness instead’ can express. These too want to be felt and moved WITH love… let go of with love. But only if there is love powerfully present in your heart and in your life, can this become possible for you.

Letting go becomes a practice of being… holding an open hand and open heart, feeling ‘attachments’ where your heart and parts have been invested, holding it all as good, letting in the space for the tears of mourning and eventually the tears of joy. Both sometimes happen at once, as timelines emerge and collapse and emerge again.

Letting go becomes an experience of the heart… feeling the fullness of feeling all there is to feel. Baking in the goodness and the sadness, giving all relationships their due. This is hard, especially for your Inner Protector, as he/she would prefer to just ‘move on’ and suppress the lessons, the mirrors, the love that wants to come to you through these emotional landscapes within, that when taken in deeply could transform your life and end suffering loops too. Your Inner Protector can be felt in this desire to numb out instead of feel and share with you why it has been this way and why allowing you to feel on your way out the door has been scary. Outrage is far easier to lean into at times, wanting to blame many or even just a few… or yourself too. Yet this is numbing somehow too. Numbing to the reality of where the experience wants to take you…. the journey and process to self-forgiveness and a greater sense of your love and worth. The journey and process of finding out what’s underneath it all, what led you here, what is underpinning the whole experience.

Letting go WITH love wants to live and breathe in your being. Letting IN with love is the reality at your doorstep. Perhaps eventually it all leads to simply letting love, period –  where the comings and goings are not really events anymore, but instead, there is a way to just be and move with it, with fluidity and fluency, stillness and grace. For now, the feeling part is often the hardest…. but the one that will lead you to more of the love flow that so wants to flood your every part and every ache and every single bit of joy too. ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

Choosing To Love Parts Of You

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

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Bursts of energy and ease

bring in the day to a closer place within

while expressing it all

in ways sometimes unseen.

 

Pain of your being

aches and roars and tearing down walls

exploding through dimensions

of what you want to have no longer

and asking for what you’d rather be in…

all this I am in with you

as a merging aspect

of a soul that knows more than this

but brings it out to the same place

to dance and spiral and spin

until the rope lets go

and the other way of being with it all

comes to be lived in.

 

Days too of not knowing

WHY

why is it so comfortably uncomfortable

to feel your pain as mine?

Why take it as it is

instead of what it could be?

 

The process of finding each step

is led and held and loved

by those times when you know it all

and even more in those times

when you feel all and know nothing…

 

The clouds will pass

without the crippling grasp of misery

lasting longer than the storm.

And the flowers of new BEing

in new Love dimensions

afore misunderstood

and never undertaken

spring upward now

in this new timeless step

of ever-growing light-love colours.

 

 

Learn more about parts of you and feel into beginning your own deep process: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions  ❤

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

 

 

In These Moments Of Enlightening Mind, Awakening Soul, And Enlovening Heart

Published on by Jelelle Awen2 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

awakening

In these moments, your heart opens and whatever IS in that moment…it IS enough. MORE than enough. It is overwhelming actually, when its true essence is seen and felt by your heart.

The love ALREADY in your life through what your soul has so bravely chosen is overwhelming when let in more deeply. You could spend the rest of this life letting in more deeply what you already have and already ARE and still have MORE to let in.

In these moments, the filter raises and the essence of everything arises and dissipates. It is no longer whatever ‘name’ and ‘label’ it has been given, yet, rather magic in the form of energy. Nothing is ordinary or flat or common. Nothing is solid and static. It is ALL alive, pulsating, and constantly shifting. It is not actually the fear energies to which it might temporarily cling, but always sourced in and returning to love.

In these moments, the identities lift and the names, occupations, stories dissolve too. You are free then to BE beyond the labels, judgements, and boxes of five sense reality filtering. You have shed the false skins of your 3D conditioning. In those moments, you are bare flesh experiencing bare reality.

These moments of enlightening mind, enlovening heart, and awakening soul are the WHY of your incarnation here during this era of great ascension. These moments are a motivation and reminder of why you go into your own shadows to reveal the gifts they hide; why you go through death and rebirth and letting go of what no longer serves your expression as love.

Your enlightening mind is expanding beyond all it has been taught, conditioned in, and learned. You are seeking out resources to continue the re-education, the remembering of soul kNOWledge that goes much beyond the logical and rational boxes you may have previously felt trapped in.

Your enlovening heart is opening beyond the barriers and protections that it has needed in order to be around other defended hearts. You are increasingly choosing intimacy….with yourself, with others in relationships that allow an open hearted love flow based on compassion, respect….bonding but not binding, freedom.

Your awakening soul is spreading its angelic wings, unfurling beyond the limits of 3D reality. You are remembering you have stardust in your DNA and angels as ancestors and aspects too. Your multidimensional soul can live in your highest timeline even as it is fully present to your now.

These moments provide the juice and motivation to keep going, keep awakening, keep opening, and keep feeling. As you align your life more and more to your Divine service of love purpose here, so you experience these moments more and more AS your life and yourself as the Infinite Love in human form that you ARE.

~

This writing was inspired by re-reading my book, Keep Waking Up! about awakening journeys I experienced (kundalini, non-dual, Archon/Matrix reality, star BEings, travels to Avalon and Golden Earth/New Earth/5D, etc.) during an intense phase in 2015 on a remote, off-grid ranch here in Mexico. I am reminded reading it how these experiences greatly inspired and are the basis for all of my current writings and teachings. You can purchase it on our website here and my other book as well, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/books

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond . Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about a FREE intro session with a SoulFullHeart facilitator, group calls, videos, retreats, etc.

Visiting With Your Inner Teenager

Published on by Kasha Rosa3 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

inner teen 2

Our creativity, our ideals, our passions, our angsts, our desires, our despair, our romantic ideas… these are often all aspects of your Inner Teenager – a part of you that has wanted very much to be heard, to be seen, to rebel, yet also to be hidden, to run away, to sneak away, to be a lone wolf, yet be a part of something important too perhaps. There are a lot of conflicting aspects to this part of you. Some of them are represented by other parts of you too, yet so much reaction to life and love happens inside of this one part of you and sometimes it can feel like the biggest polarities are present there too. This is the reality of trying to find your way in a world that you still have an inherent sense of not belonging in… your childhood is not so far behind you and you can still see it in your rearview mirror. Your childhood, that held so much wonder and a thinner veil to the existence of other realities and the realities you came into this life from.

The desire for a romantic partner that ‘checks all the boxes’ on a long list of desires, is one of the biggest pieces here. Maybe you’re still trying on different ideals, exploring different approaches to sex and sexuality, experimenting with drugs that lift the heavy veil that never used to be there before. Maybe you’re still holding life in the 3D sense as something to either be avoided or over-inhabited in some ways without much balance in between. Perhaps you’re still trying to reconcile why you feel certain ways about your birth family and perhaps even your friends and other social or work connections and you aren’t sure why or how this is even possible with the moral standards you’ve been taught your whole life. There is a whole big ‘mess’ here to sort through and often it can feel more like an impossibly tangled ball of yarn than something that is even remotely possible to sort out. These seem to be the common experiences of Inner Teenagers, even in adults who have reached middle age and beyond… they are the place where your emotional immaturity often lands and lives, and the part of you that wants to learn how to grow up yet in a way that feels okay to them and not necessarily to anyone else – the ultimate place of your rebellion and your conformity both. It’s complicated, this world they live in… and they are often stuck here in many unconscious loops and patterns until you can go inward to find and be with them.

You will often find your Inner Teenager still living in your childhood bedroom, or any other room or place that they consider a ‘sanctuary’ for themselves. This place has become a box that holds so many traumas, so many stories of abuses, so much hope and despair, both. It is a place where they can still find and be in their creativity, however it expresses, often as a way to cope with life instead of really be in it and heal through it… they don’t have a guide for that, at least until you can show up and be with them, until they trust you enough to let you in the door and sit next to them, to eventually cry or thrash with them, as they express all they’ve likely bottled up or hidden. Perhaps if they have been over-expressed in your life, you can now feel them in their real vulnerability and likely self-consciousness. There is much pain that they hold that is equal to the joy they have access to as well, not unlike or far from the Inner Child inside of you.

Healing the Inner Teenager means offering this space inside of you for feeling deeply all there is to feel. The process for them often means bringing them back, little by little, step by step, to a place where they feel their ideas and ideals are welcome again, where they can be in their creativity from a non-medicative place that doesn’t numb but instead evokes. My sense of it is that they can evolve in this way too, from a 3D part of you to a 4D and eventually a 5D, integrated part of you. Most Inner Teenagers, at least for those of you reading this, will somehow straddle 3D and 4D in their aches and rebellion and hope too. They may or may not have a sense of spirituality, yet they do seem to have an investment somehow in this domain that can express itself in different ways.

Being with and feeling your Inner Teenager is a process that brings you access to many gifts and new ways to feel all of the different areas of your life.

If you wish to explore this further, you can have a look at our process that we offer in SoulFullHeart, that includes feeling and healing your Inner Teenager along with other parts of you: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

A Love Poem From Your Emotional Body

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

emotional body poem

 

I dance on the edges

of the insane.

 

I notice what others

refuse to.

 

I bring out that which is deemed

illogical

irrational

crazy

by a mind conditioned

to a way of seeing

hearing

sensing life,

using only the 5 physical senses.

 

I cry aloud

inside the body,

in organs abused

and a skin misused.

I ring the alarm

of

‘I’ve been here before’

in ways

that aren’t always caught

in the net of the mind.

 

I want all that love

I know is there…

and in here.

 

I want to be seen

but more so to be felt.

 

I want to be heard

Not simply dealt with,

and I want to float with you

not be buried below you.

 

You can transcend me

but only until

my cries for your love

become louder than the medicine

you’ve taken so diligently.

 

I am not delicate

though I am sensitive.

I am a rose

but the thorns are from you.

I want to be touched

and held by the ready,

and I want to be raised up

with all you’ve pretended

I’m not part of…

 

Take me with you,

make me beloved to you,

for I am a powerful force

that wants not to overpower

but to cleanse and clear

all of the unhealed

unclaimed

soul and heart luggage

of your nomadic and wandering

wonderings.

 

I am that emotional body

you hear about

but seldom see

as anything that needs you.

I hold those parts of you

that absorb it all

and store the data within

that decodes your most sovereign path

to the healing and enlightenment,

enHEARTenment,

you most deeply,

profoundly

seek.

If you take me with you

in me you will find

all of the love

you’ve ’til now left behind.

 

So please,

feel it all

and bring it all back inward

to that place

where I can become as sacred

as your sweet times of exploration

in all other domains

of your amazing

emotional

physical

spiritual

incredible

being.

 

Let’s dance together

on that edge

where life makes no sense

and love makes all the sense

you may never have thought

you were worthy of before.

before.

 

Let’s create a new ‘now’

well beyond the known

and what was once ‘real,

to enter a new reality

of wholeness

only ever dreamt of

in dreams most others

have a deep fear of having.

 

In infinite love,

Your sometimes hidden

but always present,

Emotional Body.  ❤

 

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.