Tag: emotional healing

Current Energies Invite The Collective Into An Emerging 4D Reality

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

Earth-Magnetic-Field

 

It feels like there is much discomfort emerging now, in different ways. There is a sense of these energies leading up to the Super-Blue-Blood Moon, that they are rumbly, shaking the well-known ground within and around us, moving us to new places of desire, new places of growth, re-awakening us in short yet intense tremors to what we came here to do, be, offer. The configuration of our lives as we have known them is being shifted now, shaken up WITH these energies in collaboration with our souls and hearts. For many, it could be a time of crisis, where realizations of true soul purpose and reason for being here are uncovered and initial steps, which can be quite painful in some ways, are inhabited in order to fulfill this purpose and calling. This phase feels so like the chrysalis, as Jelelle Awen has been offering. The phase just before the emergence of a brand new butterfly. So much congestion in the bodies, spiritual, physical, emotional, even astral, are all intensifying as they clear now, and all are asking us to continue looking and working inward, wrapping ourselves and our parts in love, being in the process of letting in and trusting love again.

It’s a continuous map of birth canals, this Collective experience of 4D reality landing in all of us more and more. We need these birthing pains so that we can feel the Love holding it all. We are finding our way through the inner mazes, opening up to shifts, feeling the press of that which still needs to be felt, healed, shifted inside.  We are being invited into patience with this process, as the Divine has infinite patience for it too. Layer by layer, contraction after contraction, we have so much still to feel and let in. So many reflections of ourselves, our parts, who we/parts of us have chosen to be throughout different phases of our lives, and we are awakening evermore to the feeling that there’s so much more we CAN and WILL be.

The brevity and gravity that has been 3D reality… the pain, the anguish, the abuses suffered… these bear down on parts of us until they start to feel, led by a growing YOU, that they are worth so much more. This is a much more challenging process than repeating affirmations, though I do not wish or feel to knock that if this is needed, as there is, of course, huge power in positive thoughts. Yet we all need to continue watching for any overriding of the pain within. The pain will move and heal with love and attention, as it is meant to. There is a lot of trust needed for this process to truly take hold, and that in and of itself is a process that cannot be bypassed, for there are so many reasons that parts of us have, especially our Inner Protectors, to not trust anything or anyone, let alone Love itself…

As our congestions clear in all bodies, we begin to breathe new air. We begin to let in more love, more self-worth, more sense of compassion towards ourselves, our parts, and towards others too. We move through what has been painful to feel, being with the congestion for a while, until it clears with love and care. With purpose and desire. With discernment in this 4D phase where the 3D reality continues to fall away and embracement of new paths, new ways of thinking and being are knocking at our heart doors. The collective awakening is here, rippling through in dynamic waves, and there is much to navigate, yet the Ark built in your heart is the one that will see you through it all. ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

Birthing Day Of The Higher Heart

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

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Today this body took in its first breath of air 47 Earth years ago. This veiled consciousness began a new journey to experience itself through this body and with those that it came in contact with. This heart began a fresh start seeking the joy and love that the soul itself has been yearning to integrate into Its Now. It is special day to let in from my own personal perspective as it is a day that celebrates a universe within. A day that celebrates all of life.

While everyday is a birthing day as we arise new in every moment in our essence, this day is a reflection of our own personal human story. It is a demarcation of where we have been, where we are now, and where we want to go all in this moment. It is a time where the spotlight shines a bit brighter upon your importance, both with your inner emotional world and to those that surround you. It taking the time to be with yourself and to feel all the parts of you that have worked so hard at this particular life.

Even in the hardest of times our birthdays can highlight the most integral part of our journey and where we are needing and wanting to go despite what other parts of us may feel about that. It is our inner magical child that so much wants to be felt and have expression. It is our own personal Christmas. A christening of our higher self into the body of our humanity. To our wounded parts this is a day to be felt from self to self, and if fortunate enough from self to other in deep resonance.

I take in the blessings that I have been offered and those that I have worked hard for. I am spending the moment in awe of the places in myself that I have been and still desire to go. I feel where I have given light and love to many and received so much in return. I light the candles within and share them with the world, for these candles are eternal and can never be blown out. I open my heart to let in the love from others with humbled gratitude for what they reflect and mean to me.

This day marks another evolution into my Higher Heart. The one that is meant to serve and be served. To love and be loved. To experience and be experienced. I am grateful for all that I have been through for they have lead to this moment of blessing and self-awareness. I am grateful for all of those that are in my life and have made such a huge impact on this particular soul. Thank you to those that have been on this journey with me through my writings and have offered so much love and appreciation.
A special thank you to my SoulFullHeart family for all that they have meant to my growth and re-birthing into the world. Jelelle Awen, for her years of soul mateship and friendship, loving guidance, heart wisdom, and soul awakenings. Raphael Awen for his courageous and loving heart, sacred masculine templating, mentor to my parts, and deep soul brother and friend. Raianna Shai for her soul and heart beauty, joy of being and strength of vulnerability. And to my beloved queen of hearts, Kalayna Colibri, who sends me to worlds forgotten, inspires my creative heart,and encourages my Kings journey. You are my beacon and fire-starter. I love you all dearly and deeply.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Going Yin: The Quest Of The Inner Grail

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

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Painting by Eduardo Rodriguez Calzado


“Coming home to your Self is the reunification of your Selves. It is the Holy Grail of the inner quest.”


Enjoyed some much needed Me time yesterday. Being in intimate romance and community, there are times when it is so important to have a space to ‘catch up’ with my Self and my selves. Without some dedicated Me space, I can feel parts of me get a little ornery and start to poke at me. It has come up as a recurring theme inside me about sovereignty and having my own unique expression and journey. It felt like a masculine rumble inside me being in such a feminine offering. However, it is the desire of the feminine for the masculine to rise into his authentic power and healed expression into a co-creative endeavour.

From the masculine in me there is this need for a quest. This has expressed itself in an outward fashion for soul aspects of me. The need to go in search of a Holy Grail that would be the catch all for what is lacking on the inside. As I felt into this with my metasoul brethren, it was clear that what has been needed is a reuniting of these aspects into one place and to join together in an inner quest of self-discovery of the depths of my BEing and the fear places that hold my own Inner Grail.

Over the years I have met many metasoul aspects from different timelines. They have been mostly human in form and have had some galactic self awarenesses over the past few months. I can feel how the entry into a deeper connection with these aspects will come as I have integrated more fully the aspects I have already met. This was the intention that set for myself for the day.

It started by going to a creative visual place and calling these souls to a sacred place that I have created inside myself as MY place. It is a sacred grove of sequoia trees that has a round table in the center of exquisite design. It was there that I met them all for the first time in one place. It is a magical experience to feel the multidimensionality in reunion. Tears fell from joy and not pain. I could feel myself in them as they in me. We are beginning to connect in deeper conversation and feel the merkaba that it is creating inside. They include a Roman soldier, a Scottish King, Lancelot from Camelot, a Native American Shaman and warrior, as well as a Reptilian commander and a Sirian aspect among emerging others.

This is looking to form as a band of brotherhood that seeks communion with the inner feminine. To explore the depths of the deeper fear places and enter into the realms of the forgotten ‘other’ realms that exist beyond the 3D mind. Extending the beacon to my Star Being and Angelic selves and feeling the veil that has been thinning between us. This is the ‘real’ journey to my parts. The kind of thing that gives new life to the process of Going Yin, as I have referred to it.

I share this because it is something that is so magical to me and is meant to be shared. It is a beacon to others as an example of the power and beauty of the process of selves discovery and reunification. The expansive nature of embracing our humanity as we embody our divinity and galactic ancestry. SoulFullHeart is a container and a reflector for this ongoing descension that lights our ascension. A cosmology of the heart.  I look forward to sharing more of my personal process as it arises and feels important to do so.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Practical Ascension: 7 Key Areas Of Life – The Inner Teenager (Emotional Area)

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri & Gabriel Heartman

 

In this video, SoulFullHeart Teachers, Facilitators and Sacred Union mates, Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri, talk about the Inner Teenager part and invite you into ways to start feeling your own. The Inner Teenager is often quite suppressed by the Inner Protector, so feeling the Inner Protector usually needs to happen first in this process.

Once you can actually start to feel this part of you, your Inner Teenager offers many clues as to when/where tones of depression, outrage, anxiety, and intense reactivity may have first begun in your life this life. They were there on the cusp of when the more innocent times of your childhood needed to be left behind in exchange for some sort of initiation into adulthood.This part is also a keeper of your creativity and romantic ideals, among other more imaginative or idealistic notions, that can come alive again as this part heals and ascends into 4D and higher frequencies and into their Prince/Princess energies.

Join Kalayna and Gabriel (and their own Inner Teenagers!) as they share about their own processes with their Inner Teenagers and talk about some of the key ways to feel this part and what this process often looks and feels like along the way. There is a lot of writing on our blog about these different parts that you can take in, too.

If you have any questions or comments, you can leave them in the comment thread here, on Youtube, or find us on Facebook (just look for Kalayna Colibri and/or Gabriel Heartman and/or SoulFullHeart Way Of Life!). You can also email soulfullhearts@gmail.com.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. 

 Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Embrace Your Humanity As You Embody Your Divinity

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

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Picture by Christian Schloe

“Your willingness to fully embrace your humanity is your ability to fully embody your divinity”

As human beings we are connected so viscerally to our feelings. In this dimension we experience a wide range of them that bring us to the height of ecstacy, and to the depths of despair and terror. There is a fullness of experience that lies in between. It is why we came here. To fully embrace all that our human-ness has to offer. We needed as a consciousness to forget our nature in order to experience it all. We came to learn and live.

There was always an inherent risk in this, but the fail-safe has been the reality that we have been and always are held in Love, no matter where our emotive winds blow us. The key to this fail-safe is our willingness to feel it all. To be willing to go into the depth of our human experience and feel ALL that is has accumulated is what leads us the doorstep of our divinity.

We can access these high divine frequencies. They are what holds the exploration into the shadowlands of our wounds and darkness. These lower frequencies are our Earthling or 3D human selves. They are the anchors that keep us from truly and significantly embodying our more Gaian or 5D Sacred Human Self.  These denser energies make themselves evident in their recurring nature and are messages that we have more healing to do. They are the beauty and tenderness of the Inner Teenager, the unfelt pains of the Inner Punisher, and the heirloom legacy of our Inner Mother and Father.

Your willingness to fully embrace your emotional body is negotiation with the part of you that is very protective of it. It is through a conscious relationship to your internal defence that you can begin feel, heal, and integrate all that has been waiting for you. The metasoul aspects that hold deep soul pain and soul gifts too.  As you do, more room is made inside you to bring in more permanently the higher states of your soul consciousness and Christ Heart. This what I imagine is the transformation from carbon to crystal.

It is through feeling and holding all the parts of you that are in curiosity, in pain, and in fear that leads to the greater purpose of embodying all the magic and love that you ARE and meant to BE. You are opening the doors to your multidimensional angelic YOU. You are living into your highest expression of your sacred masculine and feminine in balance and in union. You have remembered your wings and it is time to fly.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Lift The Inner Veil Through Self Permission To Feel, Be And See Beyond 3D

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

imagination

When you close your eyes in this moment, what images come to you?

Each closing of the thin veil of our eyelids calls to something in our subconscious, gives it permission to come forward and be with us.

What is the first thing that you see? What is the first feeling that you feel?

There’s a keen self-permission required in wondering this way. In curiosity of the self. In being still for even a moment, to see what your subconscious wants to tell you. Maybe it wants to show you in symbols, feeling tones, colours, scenes, the parts of you that most need you now. Maybe it wants to give you hints of your soul, what its gifts and wounds are, both. Maybe it wants to give you glimpse, a hint, of the map of your life that only your soul can know about in any real detail.

Going within can be this quick, this simple, this easy. Of course, it doesn’t always feel this way. Parts of us that aren’t sure about it all, that are confused because 3D conditioning has told them that only what they can literally see and feel and hear without any need for interpretation or reading between the lines is worth taking in on any level. This can be existential too, as there could be lifetimes in your Metasoul of experiencing ridicule, persecution, excommunication, death, because of being willing to really see, really feel, really communicate even what might go against the norm.

So much has dulled our natural senses of a need to go inward, to be with ourselves, to get to know our hearts and our souls, to heal from the inside, out. So much has dulled our chance of experiencing something that takes us far beyond our typical daily experience. So much abuse, so much pain, so much necessary numbing-out and downplaying of our emotions, that really are an important aspect of our imagination, and our imagination is the most crucial aspect of our access to intuition, to soul gifts, to something well beyond the scope of 3D life.

Maybe today might be your first day of closing your eyes with the genuine intent of feeling what is beyond or could be beyond the veil of your 3D life… this precious and sacred veil that has been needed until now, or until any Now of your choosing. At any moment you can give yourself permission to close your eyes and BE, breathe, feel, see, experience, let in… let yourself and your parts in. Let in that you ARE here, NOW… that you ARE needed, wanted, loved… that you ARE who you ARE and that this ‘mess’ of how life has been has been necessary so you could get to this point of reading and taking in these words, of beginning or continuing your journey inward that somehow you trust will transform everything you experience outward.

Much love to you…

Kalayna ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

 

Message From Mother Gaia: Heal The ‘Pollution’ From INside

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

fortheloveofgaia by Jassy Watson

Painting: For The Love Of Gaia by Jassy Watson

 

Plenty of heart-opening experiences to go around lately! Especially in connection to Gaia in various ways, which I only just realized this morning when drawn into meditation with Her. There is an ongoing invitation I can feel for all of us to continue connecting with Her, as she is reaching out to connect to us as our deepest Mother experience on this planet through her profound and effortless life-giving and love-offering arms.

I felt something begin while at the beach yesterday afternoon, taking in light codes through the sun here in Mexico, and very much connecting with the sounds of the ocean and the birds nearby. I have not had many non-dual experiences yet, but I found myself having moments of ‘woah!’ and ‘WOW!’ while taking in my surroundings and feeling them take ME in, too. I dug my toes and fingers in the sand, letting a young part of me play while an ancient-feeling part of me placed her palms firmly on the ground, giving love to Gaia and taking in love, too. It was an eloquent grounding experience and another new opening for me to feel this, to be reminded of access to Earth magic, which really we ALL have access to.

So perhaps it wasn’t surprising that I was drawn today to meditation music that connects you to the Schumann Resonance, and thus, Mama Gaia Herself. I felt myself pass through a waterfall, cleansing of old energies and unanchoring from anything 3D in my field. On the other side, I sat on a wooden bench, placed beside a beautiful pool of water fed by the waterfall, teeming with colourful fish. Archangel Metatron appeared on my right and placed his giant, fatherly-feeling hand on my upper back, while Sophia appeared on my left to offer me her hand placed on the back of my neck. It was sweet and good to feel them, to feel their support and guidance, which sometimes seems to come mostly without words. A young part of me that used to hold so much outrage about environmental issues came up then, and I could feel tears surfacing for reasons I couldn’t quite name yet felt to sincerely let them flow. They were the tears that earlier on in my process were felt to be about feeling ‘Gaia’s pain’ inflicted upon Her by us, us humans.  Yet this time, I could feel they were something different…

Mother Gaia appeared in front of me then, first energetically as if expressing as part of the breeze or wind, but then she took a form I have felt and seen Her take before, as a tall, beautiful woman with skin and form like a great, ancient tree. She knelt below me, before me, addressing this young part of me as a mother would a child.

She offered in Her tender, deep and melodic voice, “You are feeling pain from the All… you are helping to move it. Not because you have to, but because your heart wants to. I do not need you to feel it, yet I feel you allowing it move through your heart. There has been MUCH pain moving through humanity from all of the changes happening with me, all of the fires, floods, devastation, death… you are feeling how everyone has been affected. This is part of connecting to the Schumann Resonance, as you are through this music now… you are connecting to everyone, all beloved humans everywhere…”

Letting in again that Gaia does not ‘need’ anchoring or any direct ‘help’ from us, though this work can be sweet in its own way, felt nourishing and also sad for this part of me, who has wanted to be part of a great solution for so long!

Feeling this without me needing to say much, Mother Gaia then said to me, “you ARE helping, Kalayna! The greatest ‘pollutant’ is the one that comes from inside… the one that comes from ‘polluted’, fearful hearts… hearts that try not to feel, that have forgotten that true healing starts within. You are, in your way and on your beloved path, healing the Collective through healing your own heart, and thus you are healing the root of the outer-pollution! This is all I ask of anyone, to continue feeling THIS!”

I let this into my heart and felt a humble glow from inside. I know it’s not up to ME to heal the Collective or Gaia Herself, as this is an outward focus and one that I could never hope to control or manage. Rather, healing and ascending alongside Gaia is about healing from the inside, out… healing in my own camp, my own Self, which is a tall enough order for anyone. I strongly felt Her wanting me to share this with you today, as this invitation is for you, as much as for me, to continue feeling this point more and more and more, letting it in deeper and deeper and deeper.

The healing path I am a part of and offer to others in SoulFullHeart, is one of healing in this manner, focusing on inward healing as the number one priority that can’t help to shift life on the outside! If we continue to merge in with Collective Consciousness around needing to look outward, we miss the boat on where the most powerful healing frequencies can and must come from – a nurtured, nourished, and profoundly healing heart WITHIN. ❤

If you wish to learn more about SoulFullHeart and what we offer, you can visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess. My beloveds and I would love to serve you, genuinely and with full hearts, too. ❤

If you would like to listen to the music I took in during this meditation today, you can find it here: https://youtu.be/-Ql_a8SKUrU

I created this meditation called Reuniting With Mother Gaia about a year ago. It quite powerfully offers a way to visualize and connect with the energy of Mother Gaia and feel deeply your relationship with Her: https://youtu.be/pBmywUP8GvI

My beloved mate Gabriel Heartman and me, are offering an ongoing vlog series on Practical Ascension: The 7 Key Areas Of Life, which are foundational to the work we do in SoulFullHeart. You can check out the videos we’ve done so far on our playlist, here

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Practical Ascension Vlog: Emotional Area Personal Process Sharings

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri

In this video, SoulFullHeart Facilitators, Teachers and Sacred Union mates, Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri, share from their personal process paths in the emotional area of life. They talk about what some of the major themes were inside of themselves as they began their SoulFullHeart process and what emotional themes led them each to this path.

Kalayna and Gabriel have been on their individual SoulFullHeart paths for over 6 years. They have made the decision over and over again to go inward, discovering different parts of themselves that were up front and in the shadows, with a willingness in their hearts to continue looking in the mirror. This is challenging to do, especially in a world that has us conditioned to look outward for answers, ‘fixing’ and healing.

An essential aspect of the emotional process in SoulFullHeart is feeling and being felt in a safe and held environment while receiving reflections from a Facilitator and space-holder who has been there and who continues to do their own work ongoingly. The emotional intimacy experienced inside of yourself and inside of this relationship with your Facilitator and the SoulFullHeart community too, is one that offers deep healing and a soul and heart bond that is free of grabbing or tugging, yet is loving in a profound way that has not often been templated or experienced before.

In other videos for this area, Gabriel and Kalayna will be talking about specific parts of you (inner protector, inner punisher, inner teenager, inner mother/father), who and what they are, where they come from, and what their pain can be and often is about, and what your process with this part of you could look and feel like.

If you have any questions or comments, you can leave them in the comment thread here or find us on Facebook (just look for Kalayna Colibri and/or Gabriel Heartman and/or SoulFullHeart Way Of Life!). You can also email soulfullhearts@gmail.com.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. 

 Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Time Is Only Ever Now (A 1/11 Portal Poem)

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

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Timelines may fall like ribbons in a parade of Divine goodness
Or they may burn up like rolls of film
In the darkroom of what we had been afraid to feel
Each one holding its own significance of grace and reverence
What is felt like an apocalypse one day is a graduation the next

The tired wrappings of your heart and soul’s protection
Are withering in the glow of the New Dawn arising in your direction
Turn and face the shadows
In order to see where the light is coming from
It is not an issue of too late, but a choice of ‘not at all’
.
There is no time
There is only now.
Only the moment to decide even if you chose not to
Until the next moment you do

The myriad landscape of what lies right in front of us
Can only be hidden by our fear to see it
For to walk into that magical world is to say goodbye to that which denies it,confines it, and fantasizes it.

Walk into that new world with the soft yet powerful determination of the Elk or Gazelle
The soaring grace of the Eagle
Or the multidimensional majesty of the Dolphin
You are in the birth canal of your new beginnings
That only come from endings
A life that is born of death.

Your Infinite You is ready
When the size of the womb you have created is getting much too small
And the only thing you can do is move this way or that
Until it bears on you once again
You can not stay the same and expect to change
See that portal of light in front of you

Go to it. Burn in it. Be loved in it. Die in it.
One held step at a time
In you
By you
With others
For All

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Leading And Trailing Edges Of Our Awakenings

Published on by Kasha Rosa3 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

far_away_____by_machiavellicro-d5xwik5

Each and every time you have an awakening experience, though they are coveted and desired and often long-awaited and worked for, these experiences also carry you into a greater unknown. The whole idea of awakening is to shake something up inside, whether it moves your frequency up or drops back in inward into parts of you that need you more than ever. Sometimes awakening experiences bring us both in tandem. Sometimes we call this, ‘leading edge’ and ‘trailing edge’ in SoulFullHeart. ‘Leading edge’ is the experience of true and pure love awakening and deepening inside and feeling your actions, words, expression of you coming from a higher, less reactive and more expansive place, and ‘trailing edge’ is the opposite, or what can feel like the opposite; the parts of you coming up in reaction to the expansion, trying to close the gap between it and them, sometimes flooding you with their lower frequency wounding and reality. The main bridge between the two is consciousness, awareness that this can and will happen and that your job as an arising authentic self is to be an ambassador between the two, not negating or dismissing one or the other, yet bringing them together somehow and letting the newfound expansiveness inside to become the bigger container for the smallness, the pain, the existential terror.

I remember being quite young and awakening to angelic frequencies and love. My birth mother had given me a gift that Christmas of my first deck of Angel cards. They were simple yet sweet, not created by any well-known author or speaker. I was in my early teens at that time, or just about anyways. I remember playing with them, exploring them, reading the little book they came with. I did as the book instructed and asked a question I believe, or simply asked for guidance. I did a little spread of the cards and picked them up to read the other side. The messages that came through hit a chord of resonance inside my heart and soul, both. I felt a rush of energy move through me and suddenly felt Angels, what I called ‘my’ Angels, surrounding and encouraging me. The love I felt was so exquisite, I believe I even had tears… I remember too, that the book suggested dowsing as another method of reading the cards. I grabbed a necklace of mine with a small ring on it – a ring that had a nickname of mine etched into it and was too small for me to wear, so I had put it on the chain instead. I held it out in front of me, above my palm, to ‘tune it in’, asking it which direction it would turn in to mean ‘yes’ and which way would mean ‘no’. To my surprise, oh my God, it MOVED!! Woah!! The rush of adrenaline and excitement that followed I can’t explain in words, but it felt so powerful and I felt so powerful to be holding this tool in my hand!

After this happened, I ran to tell my mother and sister about what I had experienced. Part of me felt a bit shy about sharing, slightly worried about it being invalidated, but too excited to let that in at the time. I shared with them and my heart sank… there was an ounce of validation from my mother, who was exploring some areas of spirituality outside of the Catholic church I grew up in along with me, yet she couldn’t let it in deeply and didn’t ask any questions about it. My sister just sort of looked at me, I recall. I think she said something like, ‘that’s cool’. As my first experience of an awakening, without having much knowledge of what awakenings even were at the time, this sort of set the tone for any of my other awakenings that followed. I do not fault either of them for their reactions… their parts weren’t sure what to do with any of this and they probably both had fear and maybe even comparison come up. What I was doing was not ‘normal’ and I think it actually reflected their own capacities back to them, which of course parts, especially Inner Protectors/Gatekeepers who are busy trying to navigate the dense 3D world, tend to have big reactions to, as it isn’t exactly safe to be outside the norm in most cases.

Nonetheless, this birthed a whole world of spirituality for me. It validated so much of what I had begun to read about in different books by spiritual authors. I feel a young part of me sharing all of this, as she was the one who primarily ‘drove the bus’ on my spiritual adventures for many years of my life. Eventually, this part and I needed to separate from birth family and many other relationships altogether, as the lack of resonance hurt and also wasn’t serving my continued openings and my desire to deeply heal.

What followed was many years of seeking and searching. Being very naturally emotional and reactive and not having a container for it, no matter what spiritual path I/part of me tried on for size. I came close to some version of ‘parts work’ through one particular author and speaker who I even studied with for a while and this path was what then led me to SoulFullHeart, which I now teach and facilitate today. It took me a long time to realize that I needed to bridge to my emotional world, not try to put it away. And in truth, my parts weren’t ever going to let me do that anyway!

Every awakening I’ve had has been a mixed experience of up and down, sometimes at the same time, as I can feel my emotional body and also the wounding in my soul trying to catch up with the higher frequencies pouring in and watering my heart with so much love and dawning awareness. I invite you to feel where and how your own emotional body needs to catch up to your own awakenings and openings… to feel how your relationships currently surrounding you serve or don’t serve you along the way is an essential part of awakening and growing and healing. Every new vista invites us all to feel deeper where and who we are as well as who we want and need to become. And, they also invite us deeper into love, so we can better serve love, especially to others who truly want and need us to and are ready to let in their own capacity for the same!

Love to you in each and every moment of your awakening journey… know that my love and the love of many go into these places WITH you! ❤

Come explore the 7 Key Areas Of Life with Gabriel Heartman and me in our new vlog series called Practical Ascension! The playlist of all of our videos so far can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvInP1AB__TzXykZythfad8i

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.