Tag: emotional healing

Practical Ascension Vlog Series: Emotional Area Introduction

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

In this video, SoulFullHeart Teachers, Facilitators and Sacred Union mates, Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri, invite you into feeling the SoulFullHeart perspective on the emotional area of life.This is an area that undergirds all other areas in the sense that your emotional reality is alive in every moment. Kalayna and Gabriel talk about what they mean when they say ‘undigested emotional trauma’ and what a ‘part’ essentially is. In their experience and as offered through SoulFullHeart, parts work process is a foundation for healing and Ascension.

We signed up to be human in this lifetime and therefore we have much to work, feel and heal in terms of our emotional realities, which tend to be stuck in an understandable immaturity until parts of us can be deeply felt in their realities, which are often traumatic situations from our ‘past’ in this or other lifetimes. Having an awareness of parts provides much new ground for mutual nourishment and profound intimacy in relationships of all kinds, as Kalayna and Gabriel experience together as a couple and as part of a conscious community. They talk about how conflicts and clashes can help you go deeper within and find more love flow inside that can then transact MORE love between you and another person who is doing the same work inside of them.

In many spiritual offerings, the emotional area of life is typically either bypassed or quickly ‘released’ instead of actually forming a relationship within. In SoulFullHeart, we form this relationship to our pain and wounding by relating with parts or subpersonalities that are alive within us. This offers much ground of inner nourishment, healing, and growing self love and worth as well as many more openings for spirituality and consciousness to broaden and deepen. This makes emotional work an essential aspect of our Ascension as a species in 4D and higher frequencies and realities.  

If you have any questions or comments, you can leave them in the comment thread here or find us on Facebook (just look for Kalayna Colibri and/or Gabriel Heartman and/or SoulFullHeart Way Of Life!). You can also email soulfullhearts@gmail.com.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. 

 Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

Filling Up And Serving From The Love-Well Within

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

to love fully 2

To love fully, we must be self-filled, not self-less… this can a hard one to wrap our heads and hearts around, as parts of us tend to be very conditioned to the idea that in order love someone ‘the right way’, this often means sacrificing or over-compromising on many things, including but not limited to, our sense of spirituality, our emotional reality, our lifestyle, etc. It often means that parts of us have been OK with ‘shrinking to fit’ in order to maintain certain relationships, even if these relationships aren’t deeply resonant or nourishing, leaving us feeling drained, depressed, maybe even very ill.

Our 3D selves, often made up of many different parts of us, like our Inner Teenager, Inner Mother/Father (or Matriarch/Patriarch), Inner Punisher, and Inner Protector, seem to have a way of expressing ‘love’ that often compromises even their own deeply held beliefs and feelings. Love then becomes a game of disowning and dishonoring our authentic emotional reality for the sake of others as well as being very self-sacrificial and often martyrs, too. Over-giving becomes the norm and choosing YOU over anyone else becomes a ground for self-punishment and beratement instead of a feeling of needing to fill up the inner love-tank so that you only have MORE to give and receive, too. Chances are that if you are wired-up to live in this more outbound way, you often find yourself drained energetically, emotionally and even spiritually.

I hear many empaths staking the claim that everyone around them ‘drains’ them, painting a picture that their gift of being empathic is actually a burden, which it can certainly feel like to parts of us, especially while this dynamic of over-giving to others and under-giving to yourself is going on. The truth that I have felt and experienced, is that our need to go within is a strong one that shows itself in so many ways… and that the gift of being here to serve love means serving from an overflow of SELF love; a steady stream created within by the waters of self care and creating a sacred space for yourself, your parts, your Metasoul Aspects to land in.

Taking the space necessary in order to find this deep inner overflow is tricky while surrounded by others who do not value this space for themselves. The love we have and want to offer each other will always be there in some form, yet without space to feel and BE in our own hearts and healing processes, means that we are serving water from a dry or drying-out well that needs replenishment which must start from within. It is as important to be with ourselves as it is to be surrounded by others who offer nourishment on all levels of being and in all areas of our lives and that want to support us in taking care of us as well as being supportive towards them.

This felt like an important point to share today, especially as Gabriel Heartman and I have been digesting and sharing a lot about the social area of life in our vlog series, Practical Ascension. If you are curious to take in more about our experience of healing in this area of life and what we offer through the SoulFullHeart lens, you can find our videos on Youtube on the SoulFullHeart Experience channel and on this playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvInP1AB__TzXykZythfad8i

Filling up within can be one of the hardest things to imagine doing for different parts of us, depending on the configuration of our lives, yet it is so important, especially during these times of intense awakenings and upgrades happening on all levels and the increasing depth of our own Ascension processes! Nothing draws the relationships with others that we truly desire, more than being willing to say ‘no’ when necessary, to say ‘yes’ when it feels nourishing and alive, and to find a relationship with ourselves that is truly loving, unconditional and infinite.  ❤

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Mindfulness Of Our HeartFULLness

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

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“Leave your heart above your head and your eyes wide open.”- Zack Brown Band

These are words form a  country band that I used to listen to in my ‘past’ life. Or the life a part of me lived years ago. These words popped into my head as I was feeling into mindfulness with my guide Aris, who has a mix of greek philosopher and buddhist monk with angelic wings. The practice of mindfulness was a part of my spiritual journey earlier in my life that lead me to become aware of what was clearly an emotional disillusionment with my life at that time.

I had built a life on the foundations of what was reasonable and sensible for the typical citizen. A good career with a finger on the political pulse of the times. I was a well-loved member of a family and had close relationships to fill my days. But undergirding it all was a depression and a frustration. A need for something that I couldn’t quite put my finger on other than I was ‘off-center” and misaligned in my passion and purpose.

This awareness led me to seek some form of help to change the course of what I was feeling but they were all mainly temporary band-aids. I could feel that there was something else I wanted access to inside myself. What was at the root of this underground well of heaviness?

The mindfulness practice turned into ‘heartfulness’ practice when I began this journey with teh SoulFullHeart process. It led me to a fuller awareness of what was occurring in my emotional body through a multi-lensed frame of parts. This new mindfulness set in motion a slide into E-motion. I had so much backed up feeling that I had almost forgotten what feeling even was outside of anger, frustration, and depression.

From this actual real-time feeling space could I begin to access the core of my pain which became like a new sunset on my life’s possibilities. I began to see the ways in which I had kept myself small and hidden out of fear. Fear of actually being that which I was truly meant to be even in its uncertainty. I just knew what I was feeling wasn’t me. Mindfulness leading to heartfulness.

The rest of the story is one negotiated step at a time that continues to this day just on a different frequency and relational ground. It was the act of taking stock of WHAT I was feeling, WHY I was feeling it, and then actually feeling it in all its textures with the parts of me that held it. It was becoming aware of the conflict between one part to another that created a chaotic stasis. I was seeing and feeling myself in a ways that were both amazing and difficult. Truly a bliss mess. The becomes so much more understood once you journey into heartfulness.

I am grateful for the mindfulness that lead me to this new world of ‘feeling what you are feeling as you are feeling it’. The next step beyond the awareness into the land of vulnerability and deep healing. It is the bridge between our humanity and our divinity. It is the clearing of our carbon into translucent crystal. It is the portal that connects us to the power of real love and soul expression. This is the way of SoulFullHeart.

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Practical Ascension Vlog Series: Social Area Personal Process Sharings

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri and Gabriel Heartman

In this second video on the social area of life, SoulFullHeart Teachers, Facilitators and Sacred Union mates, Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri, offer their unique perspective that is based on their own personal processes in this area. They share about the ways in which parts work through SoulFullHeart helped them access and feel their pain and enter into territory of deep healing and awakening. They share about the process of setting boundaries with others and how challenging this can be, especially with birth family.

This can be a tricky ground to navigate and walk out, especially while there are many binds to still be illuminated in the relationship between yourself and others. Having the language and feeling sense of ‘parts of you’ is essential for helping you feel and move through the polarities inside of you in relationship to these different relationships and the many dynamics alive inside of them. Being able to let go of the social connections that do not match or move with you as you continue your Ascension journey is essential for being able to then draw and be in a relationship with soul family and conscious community.
As you continue your Ascension journey of healing and awakening, the social area of life can be one of the biggest, most powerful anchors into 3D reality as parts of you cling to these different relationships that aren’t growing and awakening with you. The journey through this desert land is worth it for the gifts of healing and blooming self love that come out of it, along with the possibility of drawing soul family connections… which it is necessary to make room for inside of you and inside of your life.

If you have any questions or comments, you can leave them in the comment thread on Youtube or find us on Facebook (just look for Kalayna Colibri and/or Gabriel Heartman and/or SoulFullHeart Way Of Life!). You can also email soulfullhearts@gmail.com.

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Donations are so appreciated and received with gratitude as an energy exchange in the offering of this series for free through paypal: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations or the SoulFullHeart Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  

Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

 

Practical Ascension Vlog Series: Social Area Of Life Introduction

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

SoulFullHeart Teachers, Facilitators and Sacred Union mates, Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri, offer a new perspective and lens for the social area of life. This is the first video of several where they will be exploring this topic through the SoulFullHeart lens and their personal experiences of Ascension and deep healing in this area.

In this video, they give an overview of social reality from a 3D/4D/5D perspective and they touch on topics such as: relationships based in duty and obligation or ‘binds’ instead of heart and soul ‘bonds’; the process of awakening and the impact on relationships plus the need to be willing to let go of relationships that aren’t awakening with you; the impact of leaving relationships and the grace it offers to all parties involved; the overall benefit to you and your parts as you let in more self love and Divine love while letting go of non-resonant relationships… among so many others, which is really just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to this area, that runs so deep and is such a potent source of wounding and healing, both.

If you have any questions or comments, you can leave them in the comment thread here on Youtube or find us on Facebook (just look for Kalayna Colibri and/or Gabriel Heartman and/or SoulFullHeart Way Of Life!). You can also email soulfullhearts@gmail.com.

These are the questions for this area of life that you can go into on your own, as they appear in the 3D/4D/5D Selves and The 7 Key Areas Of Life article (http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com…):

How did you locate yourself related to the social area of life – as primarily a 3D, 4D or 5D consciousness and why?

What are your frustrations in the social area?

What are your desires in the social area?

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Donations are so appreciated and received with gratitude as an energy exchange in the offering of this series for free through paypal: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations or the SoulFullHeart Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  

Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

 

 

Practical Ascension: The 7 Key Areas Of Life Vlog Series

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment
In the course of living into the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, we have felt that there are certain areas of our personal and practical lives that can be compartmentalized, or not brought into alignment with our highest timeline. These areas are ways that we can assess where you may be feeling some frustrations and desires for more. Each area has its own unique dynamic depending on the conditioning and wounding that is associated with it. Each area is looked at through a 3D, 4D, 5D lens.

Where one tends to have the most anchoring in 3D is where we would want to feel the part that is holding on, which is usually well-guarded by what we call the Inner Protector. To fully embody and experience our higher 5D energy and frequency, healing and letting go of these anchors is a vital part of the ascsension process in our personal experiences and of those that we serve.

SoulFullHeart Facilitators Kalayna Colibri and Gabriel Heartman are offering a brand new SoulFullHeart vlog series based on the 7 Key Areas Of Life related to your own personal Ascension process! We will be talking about the ways in which Ascension expresses in each area as you continue your healing inside, as well as how you can work with your parts and Metasoul Aspects through the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life healing path and process with regard to each one.

Join us on our Youtube channel or here on Facebook! Have a conversation with us, ask questions, etc. We would love to engage with you along the way, in whatever way fits for you and your parts at this time. You can comment on the blog or on our You Tube channel, as well as send us an email to soulfullhearts@gmail.com. This will be an ongoing series over the course of the next couple of months.

Here is our first video in the series introducing the 7 Key areas and what they mean to us in relationship to what we call Practical Ascension. This new day of a new year felt like a great day to embark on this journey with you. We look forward to an open-hearted connection with you around this very personal process.

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  

Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

The Making Of A New Year Is Up To You

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

11

“But what is ascension but growth, and what is growth but a series of deaths and rebirths.”

Our relationship to time is a fickle thing looking at it through a different lens. We create an ‘other’ out of a year and tell it what we thought of it as it walks out of the door of the home we built together 365 days ago. Sometimes, I feel 2017 getting a collective kick in the ass and I feel for it. I feel for every year that gets wrapped up in expectation and then withers into discontent by March. (Yeah, that bully March. Just doesn’t know when it has something good.)

So much projection onto our time capsules. That which we have created to give us direction and a viewfinder for measurement. I have no ill will toward 2017. It was a noble servant of Love as it brought up so much of our collective shadow, and maybe that is what some of the reactions may be about. We are responding to what is unconsciously percolating on the inside. A disclosure of our enclosure.

We have our own personal relationship to 2017, each that was a story created by our individual and collective consciousnesses. There were some bumps in the road for me emotionally that were all perfectly laid for this new lift into leadership, romantic relationship, and inner ambassadorship. A part of me has looked back at moments with some questioning and remorse, but in hindsight it couldn’t have been any other way as I now find myself in a beautiful vantage point.

Each new year gets to be as we choose it to be, even as those choices create tension, reaction, and conflict. It is all a part of the ascension process. But what is ascension but growth, and what is growth but a series of deaths and rebirths. It is also reunion. A re-unit-ing of all our suppressed and unfelt parts of us still in trauma or dischord as well as our soul aspects spread across time and space dimensions. The balm of this growth and the connective tissue of this reunion is Love.

Love is the guiding light of all our choices even when they don’t feel like love to a part of us. There is a way in which we have care-taken parts of us and others in the name of Love. When we get to the core of what we are truly feeling in our emotional body and compare it to where we want and need to be, the sacred path reveals itself. Holding space for those choices is what we are here to offer.

2018 feels like an epic year personally and collectively. How we relate to it is truly up to us in all the ups and downs it may bring, which is what we subscribed to even before it has hung up its clothes on its side of our closet. In this moment you can choose the INtention, breathe in the desire that is baking in the oven, and then let go of what actually comes out of the oven one year from now, “cuz it ain’t gonna be what you thought it might be”. None of us do.

What we can choose is to feel all of the edges of what we truly want and the fears that come up in response. We can walk through these together and create a New Earth Consciousness and authentic heart and soul resonance with transparency and vulnerability as the fuel of this merkabah we call SoulFullHeart.  Many heartfelt wishes to you in this arising New You Year.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Arising Into Sacred Humanity In 2018

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

JX_Reflections_2018_web-979x575

New Year’s Eve can be a day of much reflection as we look back on the previous ‘year’ of our lives, feeling in retrospect where it was we ‘went’ physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc. I feel such value in this reflection for all of us… there can be pain there too, as we feel with parts of us what some of the more challenging aspects of this year were.

In a world that is constantly in flux, so too are you in flux in your very being, all of those cells and atoms, all of that stardust and moonlight that makes up your fabric of self… so much has been downloading, bringing in upgrades and upheavals along with some very ‘up’ feeling times and some ‘down’ times as well. Increasingly, there is and has been SO much to feel! SO much to let IN! SO much to BE in… invitations raining down and into us from above and all sides, from Guides, from Metasoul Aspects, from our hearts, too.

As I feel what this year brought for me personally, I feel much gratitude and reverence… for those ‘tough’ inner processes and for the other side of those processes too. For the incredible Sacred Union mate that I get to be with, transact with, serve love with. For the young women who I’ve served directly in space-holding sessions, helping me get my feet wet as a spaceholder, teaching ME as much as I was teaching them and in so very many ways. I feel the humility I’ve learned this year, from serving love through writing blog articles and poetry, through responding to your responses, through meditations and manifestations that reflect me back to me, through finding deeper and deeper love within myself; with others in commUNITY; with my beloved mate and fellow facilitator/teacher, Gabriel… I’ve been blessed and blissed. I’ve been taught and have taught too. And, more than anything else, I have loved and been loved. And my sense of it is that there will only ever be MORE of this experience to come now, the more I (and you) continue to go inward to be with the parts that block and filter and project-out at love, the more WOOSHING waves of incoming love light and transmutation will come into and over us all…

Thank you ALL for being a part of my orbit and allowing me in to be a part of yours. I am deeply, profoundly, sincerely honoured to be a part of the service of love that you are letting in and nurturing inside of yourself. Thank you, thank you, thank you…

May 2018 be the ‘year’ of more truths unveiling, starting inside. May it be that you continue to let in the outside world as a reflection of your inner. May it be that as Sacred Humanity arising, we continue to find our hearts instead of battlefields; compassion instead of outrage; humble passion instead of prideful prowess; and, above all, a deep sense of who we came here to be and how we are meant to serve LOVE in its most honest and far-reaching form from deep, ever-yielding and filling UP love wells inside of us!

Namaste! ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Transmuting The Fear-Based ‘Love’ Lens Of Modern Spirituality, Starting Within

Published on by Kasha Rosa4 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

love transmutation

It’s becoming more apparent than ever, how ‘love’ has been offered in very many different spiritual healing modalities and practices, and yet not lived into deeply by those who are teaching about it. What becomes very intense to feel, is the way in which love is often mixed in with intense amounts of fear and non-vulnerable responses to others and especially to the self. Words like ‘unconditional love’ are offered, yet often coupled with energies of shaming, criticism, and judgment, subtle or not. Judgment and punishing energies come from parts of us that need our love and attention and their intensity is often off-gassed, put onto others without a sense of personal accountability or consciousness. Judgment, in and of itself, is not ‘bad’ and, in fact, has been a necessary thing when it comes to moving through 3D life, and with work, it can heal to healthy discernment and a letting in of deep compassion. The primary energy though with which we tend to hold judgments is another thing entirely and is typically an expression of a need for more time within you. Healthy discernment and expressions of intuition come from many years of working with Inner Punishers/Judgers, which is a powerful way to find your authentic sense of compassion and Love too, starting, always, from you to you. Until these frequencies are given space to heal within, they actually can run through every area of our lives, dulling our sense of wonder at ourselves let alone others, and taming our reality of and access to higher frequencies of Love.

It has been really coming to light lately, that heavy-handed judgments from healers who are supposed to be offering deep healing to others are actually the norm. There are judgments and invasive read-outs being offered that are disguised as ‘love’ and assumed to BE ‘love’ by those receiving. There have also been SO many fear-based messages given without consciousness and often touted as channellings. Indeed, what we have learned is ‘love’ and have felt to BE ‘love’ so often misses the mark and is actually based in immense fear…. understandably so in some ways, given how harsh and challenging 3D reality has been, yet this reality is being invited to shift in every moment of our ever-expanding consciousness and our ever-opening and healing Sacred Human hearts.

Perhaps this is one of the main sources of pain in all of our bodies, physical, emotional, etc. right now during this phase of Ascension… we need to clear ourselves of the false love we have taken in from so many, so we can re-calibrate and learn what real Love IS… and that the only source of ‘unconditional love’ we can rely on is inside of us and with the Divine. It IS possible to experience deep love in ALL relationships outside of ourselves and in fact, we need to hold out for it, settle for nothing less than it, and we also need to let go of the label or expectation of it ever being ‘unconditonal’ when coming from another. We can recognize each other as expressions of Infinite Love and feel Love and authentic compassion for each other based on this picture, yet this can only really happen if we can feel this inside ourselves first in all ways and in all parts of us too.

The Love we are truly made of and deeply wanting more of, consciously or unconsciously, is right here, waiting for those moments of entry into us. The more we choose to express Love within ourselves, including being with parts of us that need us and Metasoul Aspects too, but also including the food we eat, the ways in which we treat our bodies, the meditation practices we sit in, and the relationships we have and inhabit. There is so much that Love, in all of its many shapes, colours, and textures, wants to come into you and show Itself for what it really is and how it really feels when it is truly, authentically, REALly there inside and beside you… ❤

If you are ready to begin or continue the process of going deeper into your own Love overflow that offers you a real sense of PURE Love starting within, you can have a look at: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess and feel into having a free 30min intro session with one of my beloveds or myself. We would love to support you on your journey and the nourishment of doing so, so goes both ways! ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

DAY 15 ~ JOURNAL TO THE DEMIURGE

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

(This is Day 15, of an ongoing series, to begin at Day 1, go here: https://goo.gl/CgrWXZ)

In today’s entry, I check in one last time with my guides about the intention to initiate contact with the Demiurge, just before we set out to do just that on our next day.

I invite you to track this series from the beginning if it calls you, so you can be a part of this posse of hearts forming to support this undertaking. It may go down in history and herstory both!

Here is Day 15:

Raphael: Wow, good morning, everyone.

I am feeling a digestion of Sophia’s shift last time.

I am feeling so grateful for each of you and for this journey together. It feels like without intention, we don’t have connection, and I’m feeling how desire and need precedes all of that, like a circle, spiraling in an upward spiral and ascending higher and higher in creative and recreation process.

If the Demiurge was created by the only source of All-That-Is, that is LOVE, then love is always in movement and flow, even while it is the form of the purest stillness at the same time. In this movement, then the purpose and intention of the creation and co-creation of the Demiurge is shifting, or wanting to shift, and this shift is something being felt in us, moved through us. Each of us is being asked to get to know, feel and love our personal shadow, our personal darkness. We are being asked to come to terms with our own personal hell.

What are you all feeling? I’d like to check in with you first, Sophia. It feels good to call you by your new name.

Sophia: Thank you, Raphael. I feel like I have a mantra on my lips that says, ‘I am the bright, bright, bright, light of God’ and each time I repeat it, it’s like a rocket booster that takes me into a cosmic and galactic space feeling the love that truly upholds all things. It’s a bit higher frequency than being here and even being connected to us all here, or to this journey to the Demiurge, but I’m working on integrating it so I can dial all this in together at the same time. Taking on the new name really has opened out new spaces for me to feel into.

Raphael: Okay, I’ll gladly accept being a part of all that! Yumm. Galactic and Cosmic sound pretty close to orgasmic. They can’t be too far away from each other. They do feel a bit removed though from what I was saying earlier about entering our personal hells.

Sophia: If I may, Raphael, I see it that our hell is the portal to our heaven. One has to be just as willing to be present to both. Both are actually a lot to bear, and both take courage and strength to be with.

Raphael: Yes… that feels so true. Thank you, Sophia, lover of wisdom.

Who else? As you check in today, I feel to put this question into the space: ‘How are we feeling about next steps towards contacting the Demiurge?’ We’ve taken our time to get to this next step. I know I have also felt some fogginess creep into my buoyancy about our mission as well; less focus on the purpose and clarity of connecting with the Demiurge. Part of me feels like ‘if I have it so good, why would I want to make this connection with the Demiurge?’ Could it be that we’ve raised our frequency to the place where the Demiurge doesn’t feel that real or important? Has anyone else felt that? Can anyone else help me sort out what I’m feeling?

Metatron: Good Morning, everyone. I can speak to that, Raphael.

Raphael: I knew you could, please…

Metatron: It’s something we all need to feel together. After Sophia took us to the ‘bright, bright, bright, light of God’ territory, as she so beautifully called it and shared it with all of us, thank you, Sophia…it’s natural to feel this just wanting to leave behind any contending with lower frequencies.

We all needed this frequency increase to prepare us for what’s next, but it’s also so tempting to simply leave these lower realms to themselves. This is why we formed a posse of hearts to hold this intention, desire and energy. None of us could have undertaken this journey alone. No one has undertaken this journey before and for good reasons. The Demiurge is born out of the collective, and so it takes a collective to undertake a formal ambassadorship to make connection with him. My deepest awareness in all of this simply is: none of us get to go home, until all of us get to go home. Consciousness is ultimately leaving no one behind. We can all make great strides of growth and change, but each of us will be called upon to assist the ongoing awakening and remembrance, even as it is, at some point, a personal necessity for our own next steps. I feel called to lead and support this, Raphael.

Raphael: Thank you, Metatron. That goes in, deeply. Wow… who else? I’m feeling you have some pieces, Merlin, yes?

Merlin: It feels like we’re at the place where we’ve made all the preparations and all that’s left is to do what we set out to do, and that is simply to reach out to the Demiurge, attempt to make contact and see what happens from there. Another piece to feel here is that we cannot control his willingness to connect with us. Should he choose to simply not respond, we are kind of left feeling like we failed in this mission. I feel this apprehension among us as we get this close now to simply reaching out. Does that feel true for anyone else?

Martin: That feels true for me, for sure, Merlin. The Demiurge, I’ve always known up till now, simply as ‘God’. I can feel how he feels normal and natural being venerated and feared, but I never heard of anyone approaching him with a conviction that his gig is up, and that he’s a false god, like all the rest of the false gods. He even raged about it in the Ten Commandments when he said ‘thou shalt have no other gods before me’. I can only imagine that any willingness on his part to speak with us would be evidence that he’s had some change of heart since all that was put together. If not, I can’t see we have much chance of gaining audience with him.

Merlin: That all feels true, Martin. It also feels like there’s a deeper piece here for you to. Can you feel if that’s true?

Martin: Yes, I can, and thank you for pushing me a bit. I feel how when and if the Demiurge does have a serious change of heart, it shatters so much of my life’s work. Parts of me haven’t fully come to terms with just what I’m participating in here with you all. There will be tons of remorse yet to feel and heal. There is also fear of repercussions from the people. They gave their trust and I accepted it, all too readily I’m feeling now. So much that was built over time, must now come crashing down. When I travel to your dimension and time and feel what a mess the Church is in, under the Demiurge dominion, I so feel how I need to feel a whole bunch inside, just like we’re inviting the Demiurge to feel.

Merlin: Yes, you got it, Martin. A change of heart in the Demiurge makes for a chain reaction in all of his followers, and in all of those who supported his rise to power, and who benefited from his rise to power. This speaks to the deeper hesitancy we are feeling about opening this portal to the Demiurge. The desire to ‘let a sleeping dog lie’ is understandable, but this dog is beginning to wake of his own accord, and the sooner we bridge to him, the sooner we can hold space for a different future than one that is only a shattering without a new reality on the other side. There is much that needs to die and will die, but it is the rebirth that wants to arise out of all these ashes that we can support. We do that by feeling what there is to feel in each of us. Any and all personal remorse, fear of repercussion, all of it. These are the same things that the Demiurge will be faced with feeling, and he will be able to tell if we are genuine in our conviction. We are essentially inviting him to feel, and then to offer to hold space for those feelings.

Raphael: That really expands out this surface reticence to connect with the Demiurge, Merlin, and Metatron. Thank you. It speaks to our personal responsibility for the creation of the Demiurge, that we need to feel if we are to be any part of his un-creation, and re-creation. We’ve covered a lot of territory in our approach over these days together, but today gets to a deeper bedrock of what we are being invited to feel. And to look at that, lying there just below our hesitation to continue.

Does anyone else have any feelings to share here?

Sophia: I’d like to say, Raphael, to all of us, that all of what we are feeling today can so be held in the Mother’s heart. There’s no remorse too deep for Her to feel, no regret that can’t be felt and moved through with Her help. This is the time of the great rebirth, and we are being offered a place in it, simply by being willing to feel, willing to need love, willing to self-forgive, as we offer that same forgiveness to hearts willing to find their own forgiveness.

Raphael: Yes, thank you. Anyone else?

No? Okay then. Feels like you had the last word on that then, Sophia, which is perfect. Demiurge meets the Divine Mother, pretty much sums up what we’d like to support happening.

I’m feeling to shift next day to making our first attempt at direct connection with the Demiurge. We’ve got some things to feel from today. Let’s take those to heart as we seek guidance about how to approach this next step.

Rest up, everyone. We have some serious journaling to the Demiurge to begin.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

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