Tag: parts work

When Sacred Intimacy Finds You Brother, Go In Not Away

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

Blog Collage

She comes into your life like a surging storm of passion and purpose. Or she may have been there all along waiting on the wings of your heart until you were ready to truly see her and let her in. Either way your life will not be the same because she won’t let it. She is not here to be the complacent companion or the sexy sidekick. She is here to invite you to feel your deepest fears and MANifest your greatest expression of being. You drew her because you were ready to move beyond the confines of casual comfort. Ready to inhabit your inner King and challenge the places that you have been stuck in growth.

She is the sacred feminine seeking her sacred masculine counterpart. She lights up your divine inspiration, opens and deepens your wounded and healing heart, she sparks your passion and creativity. She also brings in a mirror. A reflection of your largess that is hard to let in because you have parts that have yet to see it in themselves. Her fire highlights the places within you that are dampened and protected. You feel the places where she is dangerous to the parts of you you didn’t know you had until you went deeper into your truth.

Yeah. Your truth. What is real inside of that masculine heart of yours? Do you feel where parts of you have cordoned off the rage, the hurt, the fear of being seen in totality? There is much in the wounded male heart that has been buried in reaction to what lies in the recesses of our shadow. A collective and personal feeling of unworthiness with rumblings of other lives of suppression and dominance. Of being repressed and dominated. What would come out of your mouth if the gates were left open? This is the unknown world that sacred intimacy is guiding you into and it is a scary yet luminous journey.

She is the one I never knew I was looking for. She brings edges and mountains to a flatter world a part of me had created to keep thing the same. It is holding space for the deeper feelings of the parts of me that may not be all on board to this type of intimacy as they have been safely enjoying anonymity. She engages my leading edge while advocating to feel my trailing edge of truth in its realness. She calls for me to challenge her in her bigness as a challenge to my past care-taking. It is getting dirty and muddy when we have found ourselves at a dissonance to feel where we are truly in resonance. The end is always possible while the infinite is right at hand. This is a brave new world for me and for her.

I know my beloved Kalayna and I are just in our sacred infancy in some ways but we have been through much together. We have the blessed modeling of Raphael and Jelelle and yet we have our own challenges and uniqueness. I have much to feel and show up for in this continued deepening. As a man, there is a lot to trust and a lot to stand up for within myself. This can only be done by truly feeling the parts of us that hold resistance and passion both. This is the true passion ground of our sacred masculinity and heart-open sexuality. With Her, you and I will never be the same.

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

My Magical Experience Of Sacred Union Through The SoulFullHeart Process

Published on by Jelelle Awen2 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

r and I kiss

This man….this soul choosing to BE in life with me. As partners in this dance of feeling and healing. As co-creators of a vocation that offers a service of love with others that arises as a genuine passion. As journeyers into the depths of ourselves and all the aspects that live inside of us. As co-integrators of shadows that live in our Metasouls and our counterpart pairings in different timelines: Lemuria, Atlantis, ‘ancient Greece’, Arcturian, and more.

This kind of partnership is not what we have been conditioned to believe about relationships in 3D life. 3D offers us not templates of two souls moving into health in ALL areas of their lives individually AND together…yet rather examples of unhealed and congested wounded places inside of each of them that often clash and burn or cling and bind….. until whatever love they had between them runs out of ground.

More scared unions than sacred unions are these, formed from undifferentiated parts of the 3D self ‘hooking up’ with each other. These hookups can look like two Inner Protectors guarding and ‘fighting’ each other; an Inner Matriarch (wounded masculine in the woman) with the Inner Patriarch (wounded masculine in the man); and many others. We need these reflections in others (that includes all relationships actually, with birth family esp.) until we no longer do in the same way.

The TRUE authentic selves, the higher selves coming into body of each partner may not claim much space on the dance floor of the relationship as it is so rarely safe enough INSIDE to allow for this overflow of genuine expression to come out. Lust then supplements for awhile and karma drama from other lifetimes and timelines, all without much consciousness around it. Duty and obligation can come in there too, along with needs to feel safe and secure.

This can be the experience of polarity and push-pull in 4D relationships. There is this sense of soul mating, of soul resonance, of belonging together in 4D consciousness around relationships. There are moments of genuine connection and even grounded bliss. Moments where two hearts can feel each other. Two bodies can connect with each other. And, yet, there is still the unfelt 3D stuff/wounding that anchors each partner into suffering loops and patterns. It anchors them into moments of fusion with 3D parts of themselves again. They go up and down in this unconscious cycle of push-pull together and the ceiling of good will, respect, and mutuality often crashes down around them eventually.

With Raphael, over our nine years together, I experience that we can navigate the murkier grounds of reactions and triggers together WHILE maintaining a larger container of love and goodness in the process. We don’t avoid what is in shadow or what is difficult. We don’t float in bliss together at all times (although many times we do, especially when we experience deep heart openings that come from moving through something difficult and come out the other side of it with MORE love.) We have been able to show up in relationship with each other this way because we have shown up for ourselves and parts of us in this way. With curiosity, we hold space for the energies that move through us. We feel them as very distinct and even commonly definable parts of ourselves that we have felt in so many others too.

Raphael and I can sit in conflict and tension together, as we did the other day for almost eight hours. Not to suffer in this space or to ‘beat each other up’ emotionally. Yet, rather, because we honor the energies inside and in our Metasouls that NEED this space to express and be relationally with an intimate other person and soul. The trust and love ground that we have between us and inside of us and in the Divine holds the space. We stay in the room together through it, allowing, and BEing with the fears that can live inside about the relationship completing, running out of ground, etc. Yet, we find the next going on place together and the next….AS we are willing and open to let go EVEN AS we are deeply committed to the union.

This IS possible through the parts work process, through the SoulFullHeart way of life and process that we offer and have been very deeply, personally engaged with for ten years. This understanding and feeling space that we create inside with parts of ourselves allows for the transaction together in an increasingly high frequencies of soul, body, heart, and mind AND integration of shadow too.

Someone commented the other day when I shared a joy moment that came after more Metasoul pairing integration with Raphael, ” I love how you’re really doing this – for real!” Yes, we really are and so can you….starting from inside of you, creating an inner sacred union with ALL aspects of yourself…..and this eventually drawing the your mate of soul, body, heart, and mind to be in it WITH you too!

~

Raphael’s comment on this post: “The challenge that arose between us a few days ago that Jelelle refers to was for me the most challenging yet, encountering a part of myself that has lived in my shadow…, something I don’t think would arise were it not for an intimacy as deep and ‘strange’ as ours. I say strange because the intimacy and magic I have and do experience with Jelelle still feels incomparable to a part of me, incomparable to anything I’ve seen or known or saw portrayed. I’ve tended to feel that strange magic in very private places, feeling also the vulnerability of it ending.
Now the universe is inviting us to self permit ourselves to offer to serve others in leading with what we have in deep transparency, feeling how opaque leaders and murky spiritual offerings are a thing of the past for so many souls now.
And….I’m feeling a ton of relief to be coming out the other side of an intense integration, or to the beginning of an integration in another way…
We are all being invited to a place where our life’s message is ‘I am the real thing, and if I ever feel less than that, I’ll be the first to admit that’.”

 

~

We offer a FREE 30 minute introductory session with us to get a sense for how the SoulFullHeart process could apply to you, your life, your desires, your frustrations, the parts inside that want and need you:soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

This photo was taken during an energy session with Raphael where I acted as midwife in moments, teacher in moments, student in moments, lover in moments, friend in moments….such is the multidimensional way we are with each other..

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond.

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Loving And Healing Your Invulnerability: The Gateway To Your Sacred Humanity

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

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To a part of us, Love is scary as Hell. Our invulnerability, our protection from totally feeling what is churning inside of us, is the expression of that part. Or in-expression as the case may be. This feels especially true for men, yet women have their own version of it too. It can also come out in expressed rage, as there is something so very vulnerable underneath it…a deep feeling of hurt and rejection. Our outer defenses are both guarding something precious as well as preventing something precious at the very same time. It is Love seeking Itself inside of you.

What is scary is letting the guard down and exposing what has been hidden. It is the exposure of the hurt, the fear, the guilt, and the truth in all its edges and judgment. It is the fear of seeing something that feels “ugly”, which is only a judgement we carry in ourselves. It is the very real possibility that life will forever be changed and made unknown. The guard keeps the safe intact, while Hell itself reigns supreme inside the fortress walls.

There are aspects of us that have not seen the light of our own consciousness until we begin the deep work of inner healing. It is a journey into lands that are filled with creatures both of light and of dark. The shadow is a storage warehouse of sorts. An invisible doorway until we trip on the wire that is hooked up to it by our own experience. It holds all things unsightly and extremely sacred to us. All of our greatest power and potential resides in these lands for us to reclaim when we have decided the time is Now. Until then, the universe, in concert with our Higher Self, continues to send us what we need to continue this dance with Love, whether in resistance or unison.

As Gaia edges her way “forward” in her ascension and union with Love, we too experience the Light knocking at the door of our most guarded self. The guardian at the gates may feel an attack is brewing and will double down on protection by any means. Or it may just decide that it is done with the gig and look for help in the solace of your sacred human heart. We are key-holders, yet we must negotiate with our protector as we need their help in the reintegration of all that has been locked away.

Going IN, is ultimately the only way to go UP. Without fully seeing and feeling what is hidden will we ever truly feel what it means to be seen. To be altered and transmuted by Love. This is the ultimate invitation of sacred romance and intimacy. You can only go so far on your own as you need an other, in the deepest and scariest waters, to see what you couldn’t or weren’t willing to see or feel. Ascension is stillborn outside the gates of our shadow. Being vulnerable with your invulnerability is what takes you to the burning grounds of all that is not in your highest being.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Energy Update: Revelation, Healing, And Integration Of Shadow Frequencies

Published on by Jelelle Awen2 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

embracing-shadow-self

The energies ARE personal. As personal as it gets as you ARE energy. You are a multidimensional, galactic BEing inside of a human form. You are connected to higher dimensional expressions, star BEing aspects of your Metasoul (soul source). You are BEcoming and merging with the consciousness of these star BEings from other timelines, other dimensions, other planets, other galaxies more and more in a process that is MEANT to impact you personally as this happens.

Does it feel sometimes like the ascension energies are outside of you?  The gateways and vortexes opening? The stargates activating? The sun flares and geomagnetic storms churning? Does it feel like these things are happening outside of you in a distant, vast, and irrelevant outer space with little impact on your daily reality? If so, this can lead to a sense of distancing from the ascension process and that it is less meaningful on a personal level.

All of these energies swirling around in the cosmos, all this galactic activity, is also represented inside of you. Making it personal, taking it personally, is where I feel the REAL gift of awareness about cosmic energies comes in and goes in. Connecting what is happening ‘out there’ with how it is impacting your emotional body, your process, your experience of experience leads to more self awareness and capacity to digest what is happening. Providing some context and overall picture to hold what you are living out can help with the digestion of the experience.

There is A LOT happening in the now, in the cosmos, that impacts us as a collective and on a personal basis. It is a major phase of transition for us as the shadows, the darkness, the underground and underbelly, are disclosed and exposed. There is no ‘going around’ this process as what has been so polarized during the 3D experiment needs to come back into balance. The only way is by going through it with manifestations of chaos, upheaval, and death and rebirth happening through intense weather patterns and political/social/cultural crises.

Finding our balance again requires the revealing and eventual release of the dark energies that have had so much underground influence on our culture and the formation of our 3D self AND on our Metasoul too. Making this process personal is feeling and BEing with the traumas created from all this polarization to fear-based frequencies. These traumas can remain undigested in your emotional body in your 3D self AND also in your Metasoul through repeating loops of suffering patterns and cycles and karmic binds.

All the photonic light generation activities in the cosmos creates a SAFE container for the revelation and healing of this shadow on a collective and personal level. The HIGH frequencies provide a padded room for the bombs to explode when needed; the fuses to ignite; the storms to roar….until they run out of fear to fuel them. This padded room of pure love and light is also provided to YOU as a shield from these necessary outgasses. You can connect with your safe padded place through meditation, through connection with your Ethereal guides/aspects, through commUNION with the Divine (and the Divine Mother esp.), through service of love, through BEing in relationships that are nourishing, soul resonant, through drawing the support that you need. Through our SoulFullHeart process, we provide a heartline through aprocess for you to explore the aspects of your 3D and 4D selves, your shadow, your Metasoul/other lifetime expressions: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess

This doesn’t mean that you transcend out of whatever necessary shadow revealing and integrating process that you need to go through. Yet, rather, you have a sense of being held WHILE you are in this exploration. You are not just becoming the shadow or the darkness OR suppressing it either (that is the old way), yet you are holding space FOR the aspects and parts of you that are overly polarized to it. You get to know and connect with these aspects and invite them into the safe, padded room of your HEART and soul, where they can finally feel safe to share, to be felt, and to BEcome something real….and, eventually, then to heal.

As you digest the shadow revelation that is happening ‘out there’ feel how it is impacting you on a personal level. Feel your reactions inside to what comes out. Feel if your ‘safe padded room of love and light’ is available and if you are using it. Feel what support you need to navigate your own process of shadow revelation. Feel the taking of it all personally and what that means for you in a way that also allows you to FEEL held by love during the process. Feel the integration that wants to happen inside of you as the shadow meets the sun of love and finally finds it way home in your heart.

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond.

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Emotosomatic Healing: The Deep Roots Of Parts Work

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

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My recent back and neck pain has found a home in my heart. What I mean by that is that through a deep emotional movement and process with my beloved Kalayna, and energy sessions with Jelelle, the intense spasms and stiffness got felt in a deeper emotive root. The part of me that was using the pain as a protection and a way to get my attention was able to surrender into vulnerability and trust in the open hearts of both myself and my mate. It was an experience that demonstrated the power of our emotions and intimacy to transmute and heal.

Though the term “psychosomatic” is more commonly used, we feel that it is the emotional body that is ‘upstream’ of the mental body. Our emotions are energy in motion that translate into thoughts that have their own waveform and power. So, yes, what I was thinking was having a huge impact on my body, but what I was thinking was stemming from an emotive ground. So more specifically our physical ailments are “emotosomatic”, as coined by Jelelle.  This is an agreeably mental distinction, but it feels important to highlight how physical pain is framed in SoulFullHeart without a claim that we have THE answer. It comes from our experience. One that is very evident to me.

The original source came from waking up one morning, after Kalayna and I had decided to move in together, with slight neck and back pain. This grew in intensity without an experience of an outside event such as a fall. It grew so fast and so intensely  that it rendered me on the couch, as even walking in the neighborhood felt painful. Kalayna and I were not able to really be close to each other as the pain found its way between us. While it is easy for our 3D self to take it at face value and just deal with the reality at hand, if we are to truly embody that what we experience IS a creation of our own power and making, then what was the suffering and pain all about? This is the place to go in curiosity and true self-awareness.

A part of me was using the severity of the pain as a way not to really feel the deeper root underneath it all. I found myself fusing to the pain, meaning I wasn’t able to see outside of it. For those that have major chronic pain, it is understandable and I get it. BUT, if we are to truly get through the pain it needs be gotten under. This is where conscious intimacy, especially romantic, can have such a powerful effect. Kalayna, and a part of her, had to be honest with its impact on us and her.

It was hard to feel that, and not feel the impulse to be defensive and resort to a state of powerlessness. In the tears, we felt our romantic past and how a pattern was repeating itself. I could begin to feel the difference between me now and me then and how much I, Gabriel, needed and wanted a sacred union but another part of me was in resistance for various reasons.  Using her gift of intuition, she helped me to feel some other dimensional layers that resulted in a vulnerable holding of an aspect of me that has been in isolation for so long. The touch of another brought significant tears that held the energy of trauma and loneliness.

The next day I found myself in a dramatically different physical space and was even to go out to dinner and enjoy some walking around town. Totally unimaginable the day before, as I could barely get off the couch and walk around the apartment. More poignantly, I am feeling this aspect of me in my heart and not in my spine any more. The pain was felt at its root and is now a process in my heart that I can  be with consciously. A deepening occurred between Kalayna and myself and we can now start to feel what else is there for us to feel with the pain out of the way. It brought us to a vista of what lies between our hearts and souls to heal.

I felt very inspired to share this personal experience to demonstrate the power of parts work and the nature of pain as based in the emotional body. There is so much to learn about ourselves and what lies in between us and real love. There are souls that have taken on huge physical challenges that are meant for their own growth in ways that can only be illuminated by going into the heart and feeling the hidden pain that lies in the deep emotional and spiritual roots.  What is it that your soul is wanting you to finally heal? Ask your pain. Ask for help.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Conversation With My Spine: Day One- Creating A Relationship To Pain

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

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Flowing out of my last blog about my recent spinal pain issue, I have decided to share my journaling that I began with my spine. It is a tool we use in SoulFullHeart to create an energetic space between our authentic self and a part of us that holds different sources of energy that block our letting in of higher frequencies of Self and Love. In this case, my spine is acting as a conduit of my Higher Self to help me gain a greater perspective to the pain that has been with me for several weeks.  This in turn helps me to hold the different lower frequencies that are accessed in both this and other life wounding. It will be an ongoing conversation for as long as it is meant to last. *NOTE: (M) is for me, and (S) is for spine. 


M: Hello, spine. I wanted to start a dialogue with you and connect with you more intimately. Feel you as a part of me as well as a guide and teacher. Are you open to that?

S: Yes, of course. There is much dis-ease going on and I would love to help shed some light to help both of us feel some deeper meaning, not just solely relief. But in the moment that would be certainly welcome. Where shall we start?

M: Hmmm….great question. I thought maybe you could shed some light on what you feel is the cause of all this pain that feels unending to another part of me.

S: Well, that is one place to start. The feeling that this is going to last ad infinitum. It is understandable to feel that when it does appear that it just goes on and on without some measurable indication of relief. You and I have been around long enough to know that that isn’t true. It is a signal of a deeper wound that doesn’t trust in the process that is being offered to you. This comes from many lifetimes of not trusting the Divine and the journey you chose before time immemorial. Trusting to let go of what you learned in order to remember.

M: That last sentence had a reverberation in me. Thank you. The tension that exists in you feels related to that fear of letting go.

S: Yes. Indeed. So much love and goodness has entered your kingdom and a part of you has a hard time truly believing it is all real. It rubs against unworthiness and it can sabotage the inflow. Nothing like a shot of pain to keep you from fully feeling the Joy that is showering upon you.

M: That is especially true. Geez. I can feel how I have been what we call ‘fusing’ to the pain, where I just become it, not separate from it. It filters so much about what I, Gabriel, feel about what is happening. Talking about this with you helps to feel the distinction. A very powerful discernment.

S: That is exactly it! It is about YOUR power. To not let the power be in the hands of the pain. You can be WITH the pain and not OF the pain. Empowerment is the leading edge of the spine. Choosing to subvert the power to the pain itself makes you a victim to it and thus yourself for you created the pain in the first place! 

M: This is where it gets hard for a part of me to swallow, but I can feel how that is easier than accepting response-ability. Responding to the situation from a place that has a higher frequency of energy even in the throws of the pain. A process for sure. It takes the time it takes to get to a place of No More.

S: That is the activation of your Higher Self. Not in a way that looks to solve the problem but to respond to it in way that brings a larger picture of the emotional and spiritual landscape. You said “enough was enough” and you chose to journal. I am acting as a conduit of your Higher Self. What better way that through the spine!

M: Agreed! I didn’t feel much angst in you that I thought I would, but a lot of reverence and compassion for the situation.

S: A part of you may certainly hold that energy but if I am truly your spine I would want you to be in your most empowered state. So much has been assumed that reacting to a situation with an energy of dominating or fixing is what Spine is all about. It is not. It is about fully feeling what the most vulnerable place is within you to respond to. What is the fear that a part of you has around love and leadership? For this is also about leadership and stewardship. It is arising in you as the frequency of Gaia and SoulFullHeart continue to rise.

M: This is the part that also feels so true about this pain. An intuitive knowing that I am a part of this shift in a way that is yet totally unknown and unknowable to a part of me and causes a tension of doubt and uncertainty. I feel like there is a whole lot to discuss with you and that this could go in so many ways. Maybe best to call it a day for now and get back at it tomorrow.

S: Clever. ‘Back’ at it tomorrow. Very nice.

M: Not intended, but I will take credit. 🙂  Thank you for the illuminating conversation. I feel a lot of movement from this connection and I feel it is helping to integrate something in me.

S: That is the name of the game, my man! Let’s keep the flow going tomorrow. Lots to cover one vertebrae at a time.

M:  Hmmmm…spinal humor. Not sure about that one.

S: It’s okay. The other spines with get it. INside joke.

M: Oh, boy.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Inner Matriarch And Wounded Feminine Legacy

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

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Messages of being a warrior, how to stand up to men… conditioning around fighting, especially for our equality, in a world that seems to want anything but. Over-expressing our sexuality in an unemotional or emotionally immature way, or choosing to deny its presence altogether… there is so much templating going on, so many living examples of how to become a matriarch – strong, unsentimental, yet very often unfeeling too. All of this is an expression of the pain and wounds inflicted by a patriarchal culture, yes, and it is all a reflection of how a part of each of us has chosen to be and act in reaction to it. As a collective, modern womanhood has successfully buried what it means to be soft and still, especially as the Inner Matriarch, who is often also the Inner Mother, typically has never been offered a sense of what healthy womanhood is or could be, and thus wants to believe that softness is weakness, the mind and body are ultimately what matter over the heart, and that femininity means building a self-image of femininity that is often depicted in ways that at the core, are actually another expression of the wounded masculine, but with a feminine face.

The Inner Matriarch forms inside of you, following your nearest feminine conditioning while growing up, passed down by your mother or another female caregiver. Even if the influence seems subtle, it is likely working inside of you in many ways, including how you express or choose not to express your sexuality, how you feel about your gender, how you feel about and relate to men and other women as well, and how you navigate many other aspects of your life too. The Inner Matriarch, in this way, is also the Inner Mother – a significant part of any woman, that carries within her the legacy of the matriarchal lineage in her birth family, often to a large degree.

It can be challenging when living out this conditioning, to even realize this is what’s happening. So many patterns are being relived by you that your mother and likely her mother before her also lived out… or, this part of you could be trying to deliberately choose to do the opposite, yet somehow, there is something still playing out that runs parallel to the matrilineal conditioning and grooming. It’s nearly impossible to feel what this legacy really has held for this part of you until you have taken the space necessary from your own birth mother in order to truly feel it. The Inner Matriarch that could be leading much of your decision-making and relating to self and others in your life as you have known it so far, will blend into the tapestry woven by the other women in influence in your birth family and sometimes also in your group of friends. This is why the advocacy for space and going inward is so invaluable.

The Inner Matriarch is often a way in which the pervasive patriarchal culture gets to live on… she has had to become the way she is in order to stand up to and survive in this environment, or so she has been so deeply conditioned to believe. It takes more than the  ‘inner strength’ of any female warrior archetype… it takes the strength of vulnerably feeling where the damage and hurt have been inflicted, bringing it back inward into your heart, and letting feeling waves in. It takes the courage to take the next step to even acknowledge this part of you, to feel and own the conditioning she has had and needed for so long, and to let in that something new could arise. The true feminine arising is a mystery wrapped in an enigma at times, with a soft touch that can also challenge and set boundaries as needed, without nastiness, pettiness or cruelty and without an all-out suppression of inner truth on the flipside of that.

There is a balance that can be lived into, where the rose of feminity can wrap around a healthy, vulnerable spine made of self-love and worth, coupled with a healing and humbled heart that now gets to lead the way… and this is what is offered as the Inner Mother and Matriarch gets felt and begins to heal from the long, long road she has been walking for so long, softening into the frequencies of a Sacred Queen. This is also what opens out the possibility of a nourishing Sacred Union romance with frequencies of heart, body and soul resonance that are nearly impossible to feel with the intensity of a wounded Inner Matriarch expressing predominantly in your life. There is much to go into and feel with her, yet it is all worth it as you begin to realize what your own version of the authentic and ever-arising feminine self is and could become as you move into more and more healing on all levels of your being. ❤

 

 

For more information about going into your own SoulFullHeart process and having space held for this part and other parts of you, please visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess. We would love to serve love with you on your own journey into your deepest healing possibilities and timelines…. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The INpression Of Our Care-Givers: Feeling And Healing Our Inner Mother and Father

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

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by Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri

In the process of getting to “Know Thyself”, one actually finds the mirror you stare into splits into multiple lenses from which to truly see what makes you tick. You are many selves within the container of a more holistic integrated being. We live in the dimension of the “separate yet whole”. The minute you left Divine Source and popped out of the womb you landed in the field of “this and that” without totally being aware of it until you had enough time to be taught and to experience the depth of this perception of reality.

You landed in the arms of caregivers that you chose as a soul, to be reflectors of the world you landed in. They were the ones, or the one, that you were meant to learn from about yourself and life, for a particular phase of time until it was time to learn on your own. They are the single greatest imprint into our psyche and heart, next to community and society at large. The way they reacted or didn’t react to you, to themselves, and to the world established an emotive and mental ground inside of you that helped to form your own version of yourself.  Whether in rebellion against or in conforming to.  The relationship with and between each parent or caregiver created a pattern inside of you in subtle and not-so-subtle ways.

Over time, this energetic relationship created a space inside of yourself that has informed many decisions in regards to so many aspects of your life.  It is an Inner Mother and Father that forms in your emotional body that carries so much data about your 3D Self and how it has found itself surviving and expressing in the world and in relationship. For women, it can express as a wounded and masculinized matriarch that is protecting the more still and sensitive Yin nature of her essence in order to survive in a still rather patriarchal world. For men, it is the expression of the controlling and aggressive patriarch or the suppression of the more vulnerable and tender parts of them.

Either way, it is a way to feel your own participation in playing out the wounded masculine picture of the world as it still largely is and has been. There is an entire lineage and legacy you carry within you, that doesn’t only begin with your birth family, as of course culture and country have influence too. Your parents learned from their parents and found their way however parts of them felt it was best for them and their own consciousness level. Choosing to feel yourself and how this lives within you by your own choice of whether or not to go into it and heal it, puts you in the seat of immense inner power to move beyond it and influence future generations to do the same.

This Inner Mother and Father can hold influence over many other aspects of your 3D Self, such as your Inner Teenager and Inner Child. They are our own versions of how we took in our caregivers. Beginning a relationship with them internally can lead to a vast new experience of ourselves that we never really knew we had, as we have been unconscious of it to the degree we needed to be in order to keep that relationship intact. If there is no external relationship to your parents, the internal still exists until it is felt as a separate part of you that can foster healing, integrating, and an unanchoring of the 3D Self into higher frequencies.  If there is still a external relationship, there may be a necessary phase of separation from them so that you can fully feel what it is that lies inside that is authentically you and what is the internal manifestation of them. Some parts of you may feel as if you are ‘abandoning’ your family/parents and that this is wrong and contemptible. Yet there is no absolute here or even a vow of ‘forever’ being out of contact with them. The space you take simply allows the truths of the relationship to arise and gives you what you need in order to feel yourself and your parts in who you have been and who you want to become.

Getting to know and feel your Inner Mother and Father will lead you to your own connection to your sovereignty of being that is no longer connected to those who ushered you into this 3D life. It will help to let go of the binds and grinds that have kept your 3D Self in the swirl of this deeply impressionable and sacred relationship. As you become a parent to your inner parents you gain a whole new perspective that integrates all the power and gifts they gave you and leave the rest behind on your growing journey into the lands of your healing heart and ascending soul. Plus, in the name of the exponential service of love, you get to become the new template, piece by piece and part by part, for how the new dance of the masculine and feminine gets to arise in this purging, healing, and shifting world.

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Kalayna Colibri and Gabriel Heartman will each write more specifically about the Inner Mother and Father as it relates to the specific genders and how it has informed and affected their personal healing process and relationships. 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  

Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter: Increased Sensitivities On All Levels Through Upgrades And Clearings

Published on by Jelelle Awen1 Comment

It’s the release of our weekly museletter, offering ALL of our writings, videos, healing offerings, and audio blogs for the week!  Go here to read or click on the image below

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In this week’s featured article, SoulFullHeart teacher and co-creator Jelelle Awen talks about experiencing increased sensitivities as upgrades and clearings continue to happen during this process of ascension. She offers the importance of feeling and holding space for our sensitivities, which were previously covered over and suppressed by our Inner Protectors, coming back ‘online’ again on all levels:

“Honoring your sensitivity again is holding space for it, responding to it, not letting a part of you judge yourself as ‘too sensitive’ as you might have heard from others. This world transitioning from the insensitive, often VIOLENT frequencies of 3D to the increasingly sensitive and compassionate ones of 4D and higher NEEDS your sensitivity to keep coming back online. It needs your feeling sensing alive and vibrating, as do parts of you as well. Your sensitive response to yourself firstly allows an increasingly sensitive sense to ALL of life…and, ultimately, to more experience of life and yourself AS love again.”

The museletter also includes beautiful and thought provoking writings from SoulFullHeart facilitators Kalayna Colibri, Gabriel Heartman and several from SoulFullHeart co-creator/teacher/facilitator Raphael Awen.

The video recording of the livestream with Raphael and Gabriel on October 1st is included in the museletter. During the one hour plus broadcast, they talked about the 3D/4D/5D self, the SoulFullHeart process, and answered questions/responded to comments from viewers. Our next upcoming event is another livestream Q & A with Raphael and Jelelle on Sunday, October 29th at 11:11am CST.

We now offer a 30 minute FREE introductory session with a SoulFullHeart facilitator for you to connect what we offer in the SFH process with your life and journey. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more information.

We love to share our offerings with you and would enjoy to receive whatever heart donation in the form of money you feel that resonates with our offering. You can go to our donation page for more info on how to donate: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations

Thank you so much for your interest and support for SoulFullHeart Way of Life!

Here’s another link to this week’s museletter:

http://mailchi.mp/fa11ff086912/soulfullheart-weekly-museletter-increased-sensitivities-on-all-levels-through-upgrades-and-clearings

The Journey To New Pastures Of Growth And Love

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

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There is a new ground wanting to ripen for you now. It’s calling your roots out of hiding, inviting you to plant them firmly in new soil. ‘New’ only in the sense of not having been lived in by you before… yet not ‘new’ at all, for there are others who have tilled it for themselves too for so long.

Out beyond everything parts of you have expected of themselves, well passed the flat expanses of ‘normal life’ that have held you in stasis, is a reality you’ve only begun to imagine for yourself… a reality where love flows and flourishes freely, pausing only to flood you and help you feel more of where it can’t quite get in. There are stuck places inside you of immaturity, of push-away towards goodness, of disbelief that love actually IS different than what parts of you have been taught it is directly and indirectly. In a pasture that you haven’t yet known, are your deepest, farthest-reaching places of healing and growth. It’s not a mental concept or construct, it can only be felt and experienced and lovingly challenged into being.

Those souls and hearts who have been in this soil before you, want to empower you beyond what parts of you have ever felt possible so far in your life. They want to empower without enabling, without caretaking what needs to be looked at, felt, deconstructed, loved UP… your soul somehow kNOWs the way, understands that it needs to lead and feels how much it wants to. It’s up to your parts, your personas, your willing heart, to feel what needs and wants to shift, what areas of life you especially need help with and illumination for, where love doesn’t seem to be flowing abundance and why love doesn’t seem to feel very nourishing, based on what you’ve lived of it so far.

It takes a lot… it takes a big soul, like yours, to say ‘yes’ to the desire deep within, that wants something different, wants transformation, wants fulfilment in the sweetest way. It takes a capacity to be with what isn’t desired, to find it within your heart to love it for what it was and what parts of you needed it for, and to move on to what awaits you next in the greener pastures of soul family, ever-expanding heart wisdom, and exponential service of love. ❤

Join SoulFullHeart’s Raphael Awen and Gabriel Heartman this Sunday at 11:11am CST for a Facebook and Youtube LIVE stream: https://www.facebook.com/events/1529926353733589

Feel into the process that I am offering to you in this writing and explore the possibility of having a free 30min intro session by visiting this page: www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.