Tag: emotions

Being With Your Inner Masculine As A Woman

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

I wrote a digestion a few days back of the incoming energies really working the wounded masculine – helping us to see it within ourselves, others, the world around us, and in so doing, to help us start to see the emerging Sacred Masculine, which we cannot really start to feel until we can feel what it is NOT first… as always, starting within.

I’ve actually been working with my Inner Masculine for a few years now as part of my process on the SoulFullHeart path. “He” has had many forms – Inner Protector, Gatekeeper (4D protector of your soul, especially your Metasoul Aspects), Inner Father, Inner Punisher, and all in all, my Inner Mate. all in different waves, layers and expressions, all with different names and frequencies too. Nowadays he goes by the name of “Malcolm” and together we are feeling through what feel like some lingering and perhaps finally completing tendrils and ties to 3D reality, which he has held as so dear for so long, and for many valuable reasons.

As a woman, it feels so incredibly important to acknowledge, deeply feel, and profoundly honour the Inner Masculine within, as they are as much a part of what makes up the remaining patriarchal and wounded masculine frequencies and realities in our current world and widespread reality, both within and outside of us. We have as much responsibility to feel these frequencies within as men do… and this world we are experiencing and wanting to deconstruct in order to rebuild into New Earth, is one we, as parts of us, have co-created.

Today I chose to spend a magical and unfolding afternoon with Malcolm, as it was his wish to do this with me… to have some dedicated “us” time where we can feel each other and feel our relationship start to move into higher vibrations together. He waxed metaphysical as we sat in a local (very Mexican, very sweet!) coffee shop and journaled together. I will share our dialogue together, as it offers you a bridge into being with a part of you, and a way in which to be with your own Inner Masculine (as a man or woman!).

~

Malcolm: I like this place, Kalayna… A/C would be nice, but it’s good…. Coffee is good, new environment is good… can’t get too congested and busy in here because it’s so small, AND they speak English really well! It’s sweet… and it’s nice to not have to hold Spanish with you right now.

Kalayna: Right? And after all that notebook hunting, looking for a small one to fit into a purse, we still ended up with more stuff than will (really) fit in my purse. Hilarious!

M: I know… oh well… I have to get used to letting go of agendas and pictures… or at least any attachment to them.

K: Yes, well, that will come… is here already, actually. You are doing it, little by little.

M: Yes. I’m letting that (and you) in!

I’m sorry I can be such an ass sometimes…
K: It’s OK, Malcolm. That isn’t very common now… you are not an ‘ass’, my friend. You are protective sometimes maybe, but nothing more than that.

M: Thank you… I do feel like I am changing. Sometimes it’s hard to believe how much I can change actually and AM being invited to change, which really in my case means letting go more than anything else.

K: What does ‘letting go’ mean to you?

M: Oof… well, control. Letting go of control or any attempt at it. God, THAT alone causes so much stress, because life IS out of control… YOU are out of control.

K: I am? 🙂

M: Ummmm, well, your growth is, yes! Your destiny is, yes!

K: What do you feel about ‘destiny’, Malcolm?

M: I feel like it is a fixed star always on the horizon. Just, I don’t know, the highest point of your highest timeline… where maybe someone may not get to in one particular timeline, but eventually their soul will get there. OK, I am waxing metaphysical right now!

K: Please go on! I love it!

M: (blushing a little) OK… I will continue.

What if “destiny” isn’t a carrot held by Divine forces, but is instead an inevitability? And what if maybe the destiny, the Grand Destiny, if you will, is really just an ultimate return to love, but with ALL of the growth, changes and trajectories you’ve inhabited left intact. A “return to Source” in a way, but as the mosaic piece you ARE becoming fully carved out and painted in your soul’s unique energies and colours? I get the sense that humans are unique beings because they have and ARE uniqueness… I don’t know. It’s that Conscious Duality piece again, it seems (side note: more on Conscious Duality on our blog, if you’re curious).

K: Yes, wow, that actually opens something up in my heart. Thank you, Malcolm.

M: Yeah… it feels good and purposeful and interesting…. We came from love and unto love we shall return… with significance, not pride or arrogance. Yet significance. And reverence for ALL… wow… Juicy!

K: Sure is! 🙂

M: Thank you for this today, Kalayna.

K: You’re so welcome, Malcolm. More of this to come, sometimes with Gabriel too! 😀 And of course our other beloveds too… with more beloveds to come soon.

M: Yes! I would like that…

K: Me too. 

~

The pictures accompanying this post are from today! Me at the coffee shop (you can sort of see/feel Malcolm in my field), some goodies well-enjoyed, and the beautiful sun codes we took in together too. 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Healing Extremes Of 3D Emotional Conditioning As Human BEings

Published on by Kasha Rosa4 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

The 3D, transitioning and UPgrading consciousness of so many humans, seems to become so immersed in extremes. Extremes are sometimes the only way to either deeply feel, often to the point of suffering and not feeling anything beyond suffering is possible, or to absolutely NOT feel altogether. Every individual journey is unique, yet many seem to either choose numbness or intense, overwhelming swims inside of their reactions, without a bigger them there to help find their way to healing shorelines. This is what parts of you can choose… and it is all based on what they are willing to feel or not feel, what is actually safe for them to feel or not feel in their current living/work/relationship situation, and if they are ready to come to true healing and the end of suffering without transcendence being used to avoid all pain in general.

We see and witness this dance of extremes and polarities in so many ways. We see it in race/ethnicity wars, in partisan government division, in our cities where there are rich and poor neighborhoods without much in-between, in protests vs quietness… we see evidence of a highly conflictual world, run by so many Inner Punishers and perpetuated by them too. We feel our Inner Protectors trying to simultaneously keep us out of harm’s way and sometimes make the harm worse or more intense too. An example of this would be whether or not you choose to remain in an abusive relationship – with friends, birth family, supposed soul family and/or gurus, or romantic partners. The self-abuse reigns supreme in these scenarios and is being reflected by these relationships, yet this often cannot be seen or noticed because it has become so normalized. All of these exchanges of us vs. them or them vs. us starts within. Parts feel in often very polarizing ways and other parts have learned ways to cope with this instead of begin to let in that another reality is possible where healing and transformation can actually happen and extremes are no longer needed.

What would or could it look like to find the true ‘middle way’ in your life and in your heart? What would it feel like, BE like, to have a life where you have ample self-permission to feel all there is to feel inside of you while living a life that draws real love to you and lights up from inside of you so many more moments of profound joy and bliss and spiritual awakenings? What would it look like to not be OK with flatness, to not let depression or anxiety become your main identifiers and to instead hold the desire to move through all of this and heal, choosing to not remain there because it just is ‘what has been’ for so long? What if extremes of feeling are an invitation for you to find more curiosity about yourself, your parts, your ways of being in life up ’til now that have so impacted who you are and in turn, how you impact the world around you?

When we see these polarizations, these intense emotional landscapes being reflected is so much of our shifting, changing, clanging, banging, yet powerfully-evolving world of human consciousness here on Gaia, we are being shown what has been true and very, very real, and what is finding its way to a higher place of being, seeing, feeling. We are being shown what still needs and wants to be owned in our shadows, in our mutual agreements within ourselves and with each other, both conscious and unconscious. We are reminded that we are learning and that this stage of learning is intense sometimes, yet necessary, as so much is being reset in our relationships to ourselves, each other, and to Gaia and all of Her creatures and geographies.

We are always being invited into a deeper resonance within, where we resonate with parts of us and help them see a new way that is held with love, not punishment, and where we can start to come between the extremes of reactions or non-reactions with a loving curiosity and desire to continue healing. Love is the conductor now of all of our inner healing. True compassion is then birthed from this love and our capacities to help others heal, along with ourselves, are awakened and deepened. Kindness and gentleness towards ourselves and others too can begin to genuinely arise from this work within, and no other way to be in life is desired. All of this, every single step, helps to ease the extremes we experience and bring around more of a life that feels alive, manageable, passionately compassionate, and above all, loving in the truest sense. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Ascension Invites Us To Feel Our Humanity And Serve Love With It Without Martyrdom, Self-Sacrifice

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

We are learning to serve love, serve our fellow human beings in stride with love, through our humanity. This is why it can feel so hard sometimes to be around each other’s pain, let alone our own pain. So many attempts are made to bandage the wound instead of healing it because the sight of the festering is too much for parts of us to bear and reminds us intensely of our own places we still need to go. It can be a momentous effort to actually stay in the room with ourselves, let alone each other, and to try and offer any amount of love in that context can be so challenging for parts of us that really would rather try and not go there or look here.

There can be no ‘perfect healer’, at least not in human form, as far as I can feel it… we can work to become purer and purer channels of love through continued work on ourselves, in conjunction WITH service of others, which is actually the bigger mirror for us. We can be transparent and vulnerable with each other about where we are still needing to go inside of us, what shadows seem to be peeking up, what we have gone through and are walking out for the sake of our own healing. Perhaps one of the most beautiful things about our humanity IS our messes and our courage, our insurmountable, wonderful courage to just, keep, going.

I think we have been pre-disposed to going to battle, serving ‘god and country’ because we are actually quite wired for service, period, and instinctively know this, feel this, believe this! We are meant to be in the ‘trenches’, yet not in a literal sense… we are being called to the mistaken, old, worn-out battlefields within others to apply medicine of heart and soul balms. Yet we are called to our own inner worn-out battlefields first. Peace cannot begin to move through our world without this, without our efforts to heal our own hearts and not transcend them or ask anybody else to transcend theirs either. Humanity cannot begin to mature beyond this mentality of needing to fight, needing to ‘other’, needing to find opposition in order to find itself, without looking inward on an individual basis first.

The singular agenda for humanity as a whole feels like this piece of remembering that we are of service… and what this even means. What is service without martyrdom, without self-sacrifice, without climbing up onto a soapbox to shout at the obscene and unfair crucibles of the world, without going to war or battles? What does it mean to be human and still serve love from the deepest hearth of our hearts, admitting when parts of us feel fear, shame, sadness, anger, rage and finding the vulnerability in being with that? Sometimes loving others means setting boundaries. Sometimes healing others means allowing, showing them they have the power to heal themselves, with the genuine love and support that comes from authentic soul family/tribe connections and a heart-based connection with the Divine that is not theoretical but felt and experienced.

How to serve other human beings while serving our own selves and our own humanity is an unfolding quest, actually, and an unavoidable one at that. In SoulFullHeart, we offer parts work and this is what works so deeply for us, as everyone, even and perhaps especially the people we serve, are all reflections for us to take in, of where we’ve gone inside of ourselves, what we’ve already cleared and healed, and what we have left to clear and heal, too. Yet we are also always learning more and more what works best for us, who we are meant to serve, and how. I doubt there could be any human healer on this planet who isn’t meant to feel this humility of not always kNOwing what’s best for another soul, for this is what invites us all into deeper collaboration with each other and with the Divine, who is always working through all parties involved in the healing effort, finding, rediscovering and ultimately healing Itself back to wholeness too.

This all makes serving love as a human being a trial at times and rather challenging, yet we keep going into it because we know, we trust, that LOVE is worth it, that everyone on this planet (and beyond!) is worth it… that WE are worth it. We are heading in the direction of love with every feeling space given to ourselves and others, and with every ounce of our vulnerability we bring to ourselves and the world around us. We are goodness, we are Angelic, we are the ones here to move along with Ascension and love along with Ascension. We are of service. We are beacons. We are amazing. And so it IS. ❤

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

Practical Ascension Vlog: Emotional Area Personal Process Sharings

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri

In this video, SoulFullHeart Facilitators, Teachers and Sacred Union mates, Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri, share from their personal process paths in the emotional area of life. They talk about what some of the major themes were inside of themselves as they began their SoulFullHeart process and what emotional themes led them each to this path.

Kalayna and Gabriel have been on their individual SoulFullHeart paths for over 6 years. They have made the decision over and over again to go inward, discovering different parts of themselves that were up front and in the shadows, with a willingness in their hearts to continue looking in the mirror. This is challenging to do, especially in a world that has us conditioned to look outward for answers, ‘fixing’ and healing.

An essential aspect of the emotional process in SoulFullHeart is feeling and being felt in a safe and held environment while receiving reflections from a Facilitator and space-holder who has been there and who continues to do their own work ongoingly. The emotional intimacy experienced inside of yourself and inside of this relationship with your Facilitator and the SoulFullHeart community too, is one that offers deep healing and a soul and heart bond that is free of grabbing or tugging, yet is loving in a profound way that has not often been templated or experienced before.

In other videos for this area, Gabriel and Kalayna will be talking about specific parts of you (inner protector, inner punisher, inner teenager, inner mother/father), who and what they are, where they come from, and what their pain can be and often is about, and what your process with this part of you could look and feel like.

If you have any questions or comments, you can leave them in the comment thread here or find us on Facebook (just look for Kalayna Colibri and/or Gabriel Heartman and/or SoulFullHeart Way Of Life!). You can also email soulfullhearts@gmail.com.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. 

 Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Current Energies Remind Us That Inward Steps Come First

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

life is a journey by amanda cass

Painting: Life Is A Journey by Amanda Cass

It has always been important… but now it feels more important than ever to go inward, becoming curious about the self, not in a ‘hunt and peck’ energy, but with an invitation to the parts of you that have been hidden and buried, yet possibly very reactive and consistently operating under and within the conditioning they have held as the only truth for so long.

Going inside is the most important preparation for the upcoming transition periods between timelines here on Gaia. We’ve been in one for a long time now, yet everything is ramping up with more disclosures and mind-blowing revelations happening. In a way, none of it compares to the disclosures waiting in the wings of your own heart and soul, speaking of your origins, both dark and light and everything in-between, bringing you back to the reality of the love you’re made of…

There are more opportunities to feel what’s ‘true’ now. In the moment, there are different sources of information on the outside that can help us understand in one sense what’s going on in the world and why, and yet there is another source of information, filling up the deep well inside your heart and soul. Sometimes the only ‘information’ you need to be informed by is what’s stirring in your heart, telling you where you need to go next inside of you, exploring the growth edges that are there. Sometimes it’s a healthy mix of outside information and an internal digestion that you can hold with parts of you. No matter how informed you are of what’s happening on the outside, there is a groundwork to lay inside for making the transition emotionally, allowing in those growth points that WILL lead you into a deeper experience of the service of love, which is the ultimate calling and the ultimate unifier for us all. If there is no ground inside of you to be able to digest the potential trauma and craziness as well as the beauty of what’s on the other side of it all, then there are many missed opportunities for growth and expansion.

Though focusing inward can be so challenging given our conditioning and how deep it runs within each of us and our parts, it is the most important step towards embracing what’s coming and in many ways already here. It is the FIRST step before the ‘first step’ that expresses outwardly with logistical choices, offering grounding for new choices that are based in the heart in tandem with the mind for clarity as needed. Sometimes only the heart needs to lead here, yet of course this can be the toughest process to trust.

I feel how I am with you in it all, as I am with me in my all, feeling the steps for me personally and the steps we all must embrace and surrender to, with nothing to really ‘figure out’, but a ton to feel and let in… and even more after that too. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Current Energies Illuminate 3D Heaviness, Attachments, Pain

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

veil of solitude by Rassouli

Painting: Veil of Solitude by Freydoon Rassouli

The density of this 3D reality… the density of the body, of the toxic foods and practices parts of us have held on to for so long… this is what’s being highlighted now, brought to our attention in visceral ways. There is cellular clearing, yes, physically and astrally too.

When you dream at night, it’s common to perhaps not wake up remembering what you dreamt about but to still feel yourself holding onto and recalling the feeling experience of it all. It can stay with you like that for a portion of your day, flowing into your life with you.

What was once considered important to be and stay attached to by parts of you, is also being highlighted now and you may feel just plain ‘tired’ of it all. Tired of the grind, of daily life scenarios that are less than fulfilling on a heart and soul level, of taking in life’s challenges without much sense of a bigger picture or intention holding it all.

These bubbles are all popping now. Energies coming in and moving through are waking up, shaking up your being and your consciousness level, first by showing you where your heart hasn’t yet been able to flow in concert with all it intends and holds to be true in line with your soul. Irritation, anger, dis-ease, discomfort, depression, heaviness, all signal that there is something that has been rigidly clung to up ’til now, that needs and wants and is asking to be looked at soberly yet with a renewed sense of love for YOU in your heart. Most of what has been held as so important, no longer feels so important… somewhat without an explanation, at least for the mind to grasp, for now.

This is a new reality that wants to birth you and the parts of you still in 3D pain and motivations, into 4D reality and higher. Moving into 4D reality can feel like careening through a dark corridor at times. Passing through 4D consciousness means inhabiting your questions and being open to answers that you can only feel and may not be able to ‘know’ just yet, as it all opens up for you again. It’s an awakening journey that needs more than a simple one-off healing session in order to move so fully into it that you can pop out of it again and into even higher frequencies where love can truly be an ally to every pore, every facet of your being.

As you feel the tension of this new birth canal, you can let in the message that ‘there is MORE!’ to let in. There is MORE to this life, to these challenges, to this tension you have felt. There is more than transcendence as a means to rise above it. There is a deep-dive inside, that brings out the old, over-inhabited conditioning that is getting ready to let go now, that is moving into a place of letting MORE flow into you – more love, more awareness of a bigger picture, more desire for health and healthy habits, emotionally and physically. More lightness and less density and the journey to finding and feeling this, one step at a time.

Your burgeoning and beckoning heart and soul maturation want so much to be held in a process that offers this MORE at and around every single corner. It isn’t a matter of being overly sober or shadow-hunting, but being aware, being open, feeling the immature places, holding them with love, and encouraging yourself, through getting to know and feel parts of you, to keep going IN and growing UP. There is much to feel as the more moves in, for there needs to be room made for it. SoulFullHeart may not be THE answer for everyone, yet it is AN answer and a powerful process bringing many new frequencies and feeling tones along with it. The scariest thing is the newness of what this path offers, that doesn’t look like anything you’ve likely yet experienced…

Riding these waves of energies right now, leading up to this gate opening on 11:11… there is love with you and flowing to you, as all is illuminated and brought up to be felt. It’s up to you, what choice you make, to go into the invitation to more process and deeper feeling spaces. And somehow, no matter what you choose, the goodness of it all is still there and you will never, ever be loved any less than you are right now.  ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

This Creative, Love-Flowing Time Of Day!

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

FLOW-Colors-Fibonacci

Early morning is my favourite ‘time’ of day… this time of creative flow even though I’m still sleepy and full of ‘work’ with my online job. My life is incredible, it really is. There were so many years when I couldn’t imagine that I would be living this way, yet I so wanted to. I couldn’t possibly have envisioned exactly how this would go or what this life lived in service of love would look and feel like. There was always a fantasy of living amongst others who shared my level of consciousness and challenged me to keep expanding it. Retreats and spiritual conferences were great but not enough – I needed and wanted to make spirituality my life.

This time of day (early morning) is also when my beloveds in my community of SoulFullHeart and I start dialoguing over Google Hangouts. We live in the same building, more or less, yet this is our way of staying in touch and also being in our own sacred spaces. The love exchange is there underneath all correspondence, even if reactions are being shared and processed or guidance is being held and given as to where we need to go next inside of ourselves and inside of our relationships to one another. It’s something I could try and describe to you, yet it’s just a unique experience that extends well beyond ideas of ‘unconditional’ love. We love each other deeply but are so willing to let go, let be, let arise, without unfair expectations, at least after this much time and process and this many phases together. We are a close-knit group but we have done a lot of personal work to have this level of intimacy. My place in this community has had its ups and downs and times of turning sideways too. Every single minute of tension and exhilaration has been so worth it though, to be able to transact love in this way, and to FEEL so much love for myself AND for them! There is nothing I can compare this to. It is the closest thing to ‘Golden Earth’ I have ever experienced in THIS life, where love is the container, the contender, the artist and the canvas too.

I’m being moved to share this experience in this moment, because of love overflow I feel from nourishing time with Jelelle yesterday, feeling the love and care from Raphael as he helps me clean, paint and fix-up my new suite I’m moving into soon (same building, just a bit bigger for my dog and I), and the ongoing love I feel between Gabriel and I, my best soul friend who I have been through so much with. I am brimming over with gratitude and love for them and for ME too… so much so that tears are coming. I have been intensely immersed in a new chapter for myself, training and doing practicums for a new online job that will pay better and have better hours than my current one. And it’s all happening in the name and flow of love and serving love too, as this means more money to share with my community and more space in my day to serve facilitants and also through my creativity, wherever it wants to take me.

It has taken a lot of process to really see, feel and let in what I have in SoulFullHeart – the work itself, my parts, the people, and most of all the LOVE. Gratitude and appreciation of been a long time coming, and this genuine, heartfelt flow of it that I can now feel is one that truly brings tears and the warmest feeling in my heart that I have ever experienced. It is a true feeling of being held by the Divine, by my own heart and self-love and also by the love I am IN with OTHERS. There is nothing that compares to commUNITY. At least nothing I’ve experienced or can speak from!

There is nothing I want more than to share this with more people. To have more of you jump in with us, though of course this is challenging… the hardest part is the awakenings within, the stirrings of arising process, realizations that you have much to heal as a human AND a soul and that it ALL changes you and your life in big ways, though the changes may feel subtle at first in some cases. Yet, it is so worth it and that worth and reward can only be experienced personally. ❤

We are holding another group call over Zoom (online) tomorrow at 11:11 am CST (Mexico City) if you’d like to join us. You’ll be able to immerse with us for 2 full hours and even be given the space to share if you wish. Silence is okay too. It’s a lot to take in. We are a lot to take in. This ‘new’ frequency of LOVE is a lot to take in! Here is the link to the event if you are interested in learning  more: //www.facebook.com/events/271320303342295

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Sacred ‘Mess’ Of Your Healing Path

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

follow me, find your mess

“Come follow me, and you will find your mess” – a biblical quote reframe, as offered to me by Yeshua

~

There’s a light up ahead, held by someone who has done much work. Someone who beams a beacon of hope and love and possibility. Their energy invites you in and also invites you to follow them. They don’t energize being ‘better’ or ‘holier’ than you, they only seem to energize that they are somehow ‘ahead’ and want to vulnerably lead you into more possibilities, healing and growth for yourself.

Maybe you choose to follow because the warmth of the heart cord between you is incredible and familiar and not like anything you’ve ever felt before in this life. You want to be near this person, relate closely with them, and yet you can’t quite relate to them yet. They feel ‘close’ to you in a sweet sense, yet they almost feel like something that isn’t from this world. How could that be? They certainly seem human enough. You conclude that somehow they ARE human, just living in a different sort of dimension than you’re used to. Wow. THAT’S interesting because the dimension you’ve been living in feels old, stale, essentially loveless to you more and more these days as you continue to awaken to the universe within and outside of you.

As you continue to follow this person up ahead, you feel the infusions of light and love that they offer. You feel too, the realness they hold about their personal reality – how they or parts of them feel or are reacting in given moments. You can feel them holding this reality as sacred, though sometimes the energy feels intense to parts of you that you haven’t fully felt yet. What they offer to themselves and to you seems like ‘love’, but it’s a different love than you’ve experienced, as most of the time those around you refuse to be ‘real’ or current with what they’re feeling or experiencing. Or, on the other hand, they dump energy and emotion on you and in the space they hold with you, feeling like a victim and playing a victim’s role, effectively and skillfully drawing up a case that backs up their claim to perpetual victimhood. You’ve never had this contrast be illuminated for you before and it stirs something inside of you. Parts of you may start to feel victimized to this new frequency of love that is so illuminating, as it shows you too the ways in which you have been and held this same energy of co-dependently being in relationship with others and not deeply maturing emotionally, though you may ‘seem’ mature to most others in your life. You are experiencing how this love is holding up a mirror for you, and wow, there’s actually quite a bit of shadow there to feel!

This being you chose to follow encourages you to keep feeling it all. WHAT?! I have to FEEL it all?! You begin to feel a part of you is getting overwhelmed by the volume of what there is to feel, and you feel a bit surprised by what is still there that you thought you had healed by now. You feel the weight and the mess of it all… the entanglements within your relationships, past and present, the knots living inside of your heart and soul, the shadow pieces and parts of you popping up now to be witnessed, felt, held, healed. It’s a lot. Sometimes it feels like ‘too much’… and your new leader invites you to just ‘hold on tight!’ while the winds whip by and through you, inviting you to step into them despite the swirling chaos inside of you.

This is what it means to be on a path where you find that ‘mess’ within. That ‘mess’ that you learn to love as you trust that it’s leading you somewhere NEW. Amidst the mess, you get to decide whether or not you want to continue walking into it. You get to decide in every single moment, what you want next. And you get to decide whether or not you really trust this process and are ready for it.

~

In SoulFullHeart, we don’t hold a grandiose or lofty picture of who we are as spiritual and emotional teachers, leaders and facilitators. The work we’ve done and continue to do is challengings and sometimes downright hard to be in, though the payoff is incredible, as the growth and consciousness expansion is exponential. If anything we are here to guide you if you can lean into what we offer and embody.

Choosing to be around us in any way or form offers some sort of challenge to your being, just because of this way of life we embody. Choosing to be with us here in community, well, that pushes up even more… yet your readiness is something you get to gauge in every moment, even as ‘mess’ comes up from within and seems to be playing out outside of you too.

Following any sort of spiritual and/or emotional healing path should push up quite a bit inside of you. Even if you are not drawn to SoulFullHeart, whatever path you may choose will very likely give you a lot to feel and heal. There is no way, in my experience, to avoid or fully transcend what we signed up to heal in this life. Embracing our messes, no matter where we are in our path or what teacher(s) or leader(s) we may choose to follow or learn from, gives us this gift of finding our way to deeper and deeper decisions about the playout of our lives and how and who we most want to be.

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Poem: Letting Love

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

Magical heart shape spiral in space fractal with particles

Interwoven heart clothes fall along shuffling feet.

Healing hands pull energetic nuances of lovely subtle flowers

and an escapee life of lush lovelorn lace and spinner lights.

It’s one place of many more magical moments to come into view of the dearest wanting pieces.

Foreign chords of many ordinary oddities bring it all back in to that rainbow of open road.

Even those sounds of the missing call the song of melodies remembered always.

An unknown toil of yet-to-be-known articles resembling the past and an ever-present presence

bringing all ebbs flowing forward in this dance of what could never be felt

until the time ticked along of the newly emerging emergency of now and instant bringings.

Take it all to the inside and outside of the corners where all stars are collected

and feel where the new-old love songs now call out to the unborn listener

of sometimes comfortable cravings still borne out to dry in the heavy lungs of the dawning days.

Love Love LOVE! is that sacred siren song of the aching breathers and reachers from the mud of what was once the only truth yet never satisfied as food should.

LOVE love LOVE! is the dance of the flying edges asking for more than they have ever known and the returning feeling that they have always wanted deep inside of the love they too are made of.

To find the way back is through each other.

To find the way in is through the self.

To find the way upward is through the press of life’s birth canals and all contractions brought by Love

inside the established ALL that forever knows the places and paces of its ongoing ringing out.

And for now and always a path is laid

for the eager and earnest to find, inhabit and become.

❤

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

 

Allowing Emotions To Come UP Through Connecting With Your Inner Protector

Published on by Jelelle Awen1 Comment
By Jelelle Awen
Image is by Ana Cruz

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Image Is By Ana Cruz

FEEL. Just feel. Let the textures of your heart come up to BE. Allow what needs your attention to claim your space and hold it with self love. In this feeling, allowing, holding space for yourself, you create NEW possibilities of healing and transformation.

The parts of you that need you…the little girl INside or the little boy INside, the HUGE warrior, the guard on duty, the controller/manager, the punisher/critic, the teenager…..ALL these aspects and their emotional reality are pinging and ponging from within you. It doesn’t really work to ignore this, although you can try and part of you may try VERY hard to suppress all this emotional activity from coming UP and out.

All these parts came and formed when feeling was not OK, when there was no space made inside for them and with them by those meant to care and guide, your caregivers and parents as they didn’t have this either. There was no space for feeling what you were feeling WHILE you were feeling it and so the energy gets stuck. It is stuck in stories, scenes, and moments that your mind brings you back to often, trying to help your heart heal yet unable to do it. Your mind brings you ‘back’, yet these moments live in the now of the emotional body, continuing to play out and influence you. These moments need your heart presence in order to be ‘moved on’.

In sessions lately, I have been hearing more from people who do not remember very much about their childhoods. Or they can’t remember after certain traumatic and painful events happen or before these events. This is not actually a matter of memory of the mind, but rather, the Inner Protector which has ‘shut down’ access to the memories because they would be too painful for you. The Protector becomes worried and concerned that you couldn’t ‘handle’ to remember and emotionally digest it.

In the SoulFullHeart process, we support the authentic You to arise that CAN handle and wants to feel, to remember in order to heal, and to BE with the stuck places and parts that need you. You begin to remember it ALL (including other lifetimes with increasing clarity) AS you negotiate with the Inner Protector and Soul Guardian aspect. Negotiation with this part allows for the pipeline of memory to open and trust grows that You can handle what comes as a result. Your Protector may still ‘see’ you as a child and as you connect consciously with them, they start to lean into you and rest, feel you as more of an emotionally mature adult. As the Protector rests, this opens up your heart, body, soul, mind in often HUGE and new ways. You can read more about that here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts.

Here are teachings about the Inner Protector and a guided meditation to connect with this aspect of you during a recent group call: https://youtu.be/yP0OmxcSScc

FEEL. Just feel. It’ll be OK. It’ll be Beautiful even when it is necessarily painful. So much support is coming from these bounding and bountiful energy waves right now to hold a space for the feeling of feelings. So much support WITH love to go where love wants to go and couldn’t go in the moment, yet can in the NOW…..moving, transforming, and offering so much more possibility of love as you feel and, so, heal. ❤ ❤

 

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond .

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.