Inner Protector – Page 6 – Divine Self Embodiment Blog (Formerly SoulFullHeart)

Understanding Why You May Settle, Shrink And Stay Safe: Connecting With Your Inner Protector

Published on November 15, 2017November 15, 2017 by Jelelle Awen2 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

13567347_10209157343238279_2429391623894276338_n

That which you settle for is that which you will draw MORE of. When parts of you settle, you are telling the Universe that what you currently have and are experiencing is enough for you. Even if another part of you (your higher self coming into your consciousness) feels desires and passions for more…more love, more intimacy, more fulfillment, more soul passion expression…..if you are settling in ANY area of life for less than that, you will draw more of it until all parts of you are truly done with less and lack.

This can be confusing to navigate until you can acknowledge that there are different parts of you that want different things, have mixed feelings and resistances, and are in often direct polarity to each other. To just say that ‘you’ want something and have a desire for more is actually only half of the picture (or less as often parts make up most of our conscious personalities until they are differentiated.)

One part of you (usually what we call in SoulFullHeart the Inner Protector) is ‘in charge’ of keeping you safe and out of harm and from getting hurt. The Inner Protector has been tasked with this since you were a young child as you were too innocent, pure, and vulnerable for the 3D world and the harsh and polarizing energies here. If you also experienced abusive frequencies as a child, then the Inner Protector had to be on ‘double duty’ to protect you. This Protector is reticent and fearful for you to have MORE love in your life as you might lose it and suffer more hurt. Really, it relates to you like a reluctant, over worked teenager would, tasked with watching over a bunch of kids (you). It doesn’t much care what your desires are for change and transformation, as it’s main goal is to keep you safe (despite yourself, it would say.)

The Protector is just FINE with settling, especially in relationships, as to want more is just too risky. Another way this settling of the Protector can show up is in withdrawing from social and relationships completely and being in a lone wolf phase. This can be a sacred phase of reboot when you are pulling out of 3D relationships, especially, but lingering too long here then leads to suffering which leads to isolation, acute loneliness, despair, and even suicidal feelings from other parts of you that NEED connection with others. It seems crazy, but the Protector would rather you (and other parts of you) feel ALL these emotions then to risk you getting hurt again in relationships, especially if there is ACTUAL soul resonance in them. Even if your heart and soul are awakening and aching for more love, more intimacy, to serve love, etc., your Protector (and other parts too) can be countering these desires going out to the Universe by keeping you stuck and settling OR isolated and alone (which is still a form of settling actually.)

I am sharing about this from my own experience of my Inner Protector and how this energy shows up…and also from seeing and feeling this dynamic in many other people over the years in sessions. The key to moving this in order to DRAW the more that your Awakening Self wants is through negotiation with your Protector. To feel and hear and get WHY they are concerned, scared, and resistant to this movement. There are always good reasons for this protection, usually stemming from undigested childhood trauma yet, also, from other lifetimes. Just because you cannot consciously remember (or maybe don’t want to remember) these traumatic incidents and events doesn’t mean that don’t impact your daily life in the now. These traumas and karma dramas remain stuck there and energizing STRONGLY, even if you are not consciously as aware of them. To offer compassion to these woundings and the parts that hold them is what moves them through the increasing awareness and consciousness and separation too.

We’ve spent the last couple of months in SoulFullHeart designing and creating a specific process to navigate this ground with you through weekly sessions with one of us (me, Raphael, Gabriel or Kalayna) to get to know your 3D self that is still anchored to 3D life through these undigest emotional places to begin negotiation with them in order to shift into MORE love in all areas of your life. We also connect with your Inner Protector, Inner Teenager, Inner Mother/Father, Inner Punisher/Critic, and Inner Child. Plus, there is a 4D self/soul awakening path and process that opens out after that the 3D self focused one where we go into all kinds of fascinating and interesting places within your Metasoul to heal on a quantum level LIFETIMES worth while you receive the gifts of soul consciousness expansions.

We provide you with specific writing and reading processes to engage with every week, so you can lean into that with a sense for you (and parts of you) that you are being held by something and headed somewhere. I am very proud of this process as it is the result of 15 years of personal dedication to awakening and specifically emotional body healing integration with spirituality. Also, it was created out of witnessing hundreds of people engage in this kind of parts work emotional body integration process over the years. I know of no other program or process like it as it is truly unique and progressive. You can read more about the process and our free intro session here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess

Here is more to read about parts and Metasoul aspects too: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

To change ANYTHING on the outside first begins from the transformation on the inside. It cannot change otherwise. The strong ascension energies that are available right now are here to support and hold space for this inner journey. To make it safe and filled with lots of love to GO where it has previously felt too frightening, foggy, or unknown to go inside of ourselves….at the emotional body level AND the soul. With this inner connection with parts of yourself, you find that you are no longer settling in ANY areas of your life. A sense of MORE is how you feel inside as you feel new flows of self love open out from within.

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond.

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Feeling Your Protective Layers As Downloads Rain Inward – 11/11 Gateway Invitation

Published on November 7, 2017November 9, 2017 by Kasha Rosa3 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

Frederic_Edwin_Church_Rainy_Season_in_the_Tropics_700

NEW inspirations are downloading for you now. Sometimes they trickle in like a light rain from bloated rainclouds. It depends on what you’re ready for and what parts of you are opening up to. Your Gatekeeper, who is another layer of your Inner Protector, gages and siphons off these downpours and INpours of INspiration that want to come to you, to move you into new places in your life, to help you see and make those tough choices and take those challenging steps to reclaim, re-energize and reignite the flame of self-empowerment and love.

The energies leading up to the portal of 11/11 this weekend feel like a soft caress and rock music, all at the same time… there is understanding and love from the Divine and the Multi-verse, and there’s a strong invitation to shake off the dust and awaken to where love is flowing in your life and where it may not be. It’s not a violent shake, yet for some parts of you it may feel that way in moments, as the awakenings come in and take hold of your consciousness, or at least try to. Doorways, portals opening, yes, as they have been continuously, and the most powerful one imaginable is the one that begins to open up to a wider aperture inside of you. This is the one that truly invites in more energies, more upgrades, more loving ways to be in this world. It brings in desires to tread gently yet powerfully, acknowledging how this can seem like a paradox to those who haven’t experienced that you can hold both of these frequencies at once without violence or outrage or wounded masculine expressions of toil and strife, or battles and martyrdom.

If you feel ready for the downloads coming in, you can ask for them, but you cannot bypass what needs to be felt before they can integrate in the way they need and want to. For them to truly go in with love takes a lot of conscious and ongoing holding of the parts of you that don’t want them to or aren’t sure it’s okay. Your Gatekeeper, who I mentioned earlier, is the main aspect of you that is used to holding and blocking so many threads of your potential awakening that they haven’t deemed you to be ready for quite yet (and that they haven’t been ready to let in themselves, either).

My own Gatekeeper, who I first came to know as a defensive Inner Protector or Guardian, is offering to me that my readiness is ripening after what has now been several months of working with her, yet several years of working with parts of me that were dominant aspects of my personality. She says, “the soul and heart maturity level need to match with the maturity level of the arising, conscious Sacred Human, who is striving for spiritual consciousness, not in a mentally-based way, and is deeply exploring their heart and wanting to know more, FEEL more, about who they are and why, who/what the Divine is and why, as well as who they could be destined to become in conscious and empowered co-creation with the Divine… It is important to let in the process AND the downloads, to not simply try and open floodgates that are meant to and need to be there… for now. And too, the Gatekeeper needs to feel this relationship with you as your healing Sacred Human self, to trust the Divine through and with you, as so many (myself included at times, in some layers…) still feel very consciously and unfairly separated from the Divine and therefore, from the powerful force and trance of love that wants so much to flood into you and them too.”

It is a major process to feel into, this acceptance of what is being brought in, and there are many understandable defenses that want to keep it out or filter it in a way that is perhaps more digestible for now. There is nothing that can truly be missed out on here though, as each opening within you does create this ever-widening and expanding portal of access to YOU and to the Infinite Love that is the Uni and Multi-verse we exist in and through.

So perhaps the greatest invitation and inspiration being extended to us all with this 11/11 portal, is more of the same of what comes in with all of them… to continue to acknowledge and deepen the work within, to let it be and arise and take a stronger, more self-loving hold on your heart and soul. To invite in a reality that is heart-based, that works with the mind and not against it, and with the soul in a more sober way. There is so much still to feel and on the other side of that, so much more to just keep letting in as we continue our paths of deep inner transformation that continuously transform and upgrade our entire world as we kNOW it and rediscover it, today. ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Loving And Healing Your Invulnerability: The Gateway To Your Sacred Humanity

Published on November 2, 2017 by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

To a part of us, Love is scary as Hell. Our invulnerability, our protection from totally feeling what is churning inside of us, is the expression of that part. Or in-expression as the case may be. This feels especially true for men, yet women have their own version of it too. It can also come out in expressed rage, as there is something so very vulnerable underneath it…a deep feeling of hurt and rejection. Our outer defenses are both guarding something precious as well as preventing something precious at the very same time. It is Love seeking Itself inside of you.

What is scary is letting the guard down and exposing what has been hidden. It is the exposure of the hurt, the fear, the guilt, and the truth in all its edges and judgment. It is the fear of seeing something that feels “ugly”, which is only a judgement we carry in ourselves. It is the very real possibility that life will forever be changed and made unknown. The guard keeps the safe intact, while Hell itself reigns supreme inside the fortress walls.

There are aspects of us that have not seen the light of our own consciousness until we begin the deep work of inner healing. It is a journey into lands that are filled with creatures both of light and of dark. The shadow is a storage warehouse of sorts. An invisible doorway until we trip on the wire that is hooked up to it by our own experience. It holds all things unsightly and extremely sacred to us. All of our greatest power and potential resides in these lands for us to reclaim when we have decided the time is Now. Until then, the universe, in concert with our Higher Self, continues to send us what we need to continue this dance with Love, whether in resistance or unison.

As Gaia edges her way “forward” in her ascension and union with Love, we too experience the Light knocking at the door of our most guarded self. The guardian at the gates may feel an attack is brewing and will double down on protection by any means. Or it may just decide that it is done with the gig and look for help in the solace of your sacred human heart. We are key-holders, yet we must negotiate with our protector as we need their help in the reintegration of all that has been locked away.

Going IN, is ultimately the only way to go UP. Without fully seeing and feeling what is hidden will we ever truly feel what it means to be seen. To be altered and transmuted by Love. This is the ultimate invitation of sacred romance and intimacy. You can only go so far on your own as you need an other, in the deepest and scariest waters, to see what you couldn’t or weren’t willing to see or feel. Ascension is stillborn outside the gates of our shadow. Being vulnerable with your invulnerability is what takes you to the burning grounds of all that is not in your highest being.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Letting Go WITH Love

Published on November 1, 2017November 21, 2017 by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

Letting go WITH love… this phrase is becoming more poignant now, bringing with it deeper meanings. We are being invited to really feel it. It can no longer mean letting go and closing a door for good or with numbness. This is being challenged by so many disasters and tragedies, all intended to evoke, not dampen or inspire numbness and escape. A broken wall becomes a doorway into another reality, another timeline. It is happening with our need to feel more now, to be faced with our shadows, to go INto it all, as it flows through and moves us too. No process is without fluidity. It is all a moving current, moving with what you are currently feeling, being and healing.

There is less and less stagnancy possible now. All is moving, even the ‘stuckness’ feelings and patterns. As you are invited to let go, you are invited to do so with love, with a full heart, and with deep care that begins from you to you. There are some things that cannot be let go of right now. Not while parts of you need them still. This is okay. They won’t need them forever. Eventually, these ‘needs’ which can look and feel like addictions, move too as you go inward, holding mourning processes with parts of you while also letting in that this ‘need’ was never all that loving towards you or them in the first place. This can be a romantic relationship, your relationship to your pet, a friend or birth family member. It can be a drug, prescription or not. It can be sex or shopping. It can be a part’s escape through your mobile phone or computer or gaming system. It can be and often is food too. There are so many ways that loops of ‘I want love, but I’m settling for this pattern and stuckness instead’ can express. These too want to be felt and moved WITH love… let go of with love. But only if there is love powerfully present in your heart and in your life, can this become possible for you.

Letting go becomes a practice of being… holding an open hand and open heart, feeling ‘attachments’ where your heart and parts have been invested, holding it all as good, letting in the space for the tears of mourning and eventually the tears of joy. Both sometimes happen at once, as timelines emerge and collapse and emerge again.

Letting go becomes an experience of the heart… feeling the fullness of feeling all there is to feel. Baking in the goodness and the sadness, giving all relationships their due. This is hard, especially for your Inner Protector, as he/she would prefer to just ‘move on’ and suppress the lessons, the mirrors, the love that wants to come to you through these emotional landscapes within, that when taken in deeply could transform your life and end suffering loops too. Your Inner Protector can be felt in this desire to numb out instead of feel and share with you why it has been this way and why allowing you to feel on your way out the door has been scary. Outrage is far easier to lean into at times, wanting to blame many or even just a few… or yourself too. Yet this is numbing somehow too. Numbing to the reality of where the experience wants to take you…. the journey and process to self-forgiveness and a greater sense of your love and worth. The journey and process of finding out what’s underneath it all, what led you here, what is underpinning the whole experience.

Letting go WITH love wants to live and breathe in your being. Letting IN with love is the reality at your doorstep. Perhaps eventually it all leads to simply letting love, period – where the comings and goings are not really events anymore, but instead, there is a way to just be and move with it, with fluidity and fluency, stillness and grace. For now, the feeling part is often the hardest…. but the one that will lead you to more of the love flow that so wants to flood your every part and every ache and every single bit of joy too. ❤

***

Conversation With My Spine: Day Three- Feeling And Healing With Compassion

Published on October 28, 2017October 28, 2017 by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

Osteopathic belly massage.

M: Good afternoon, spine. This has been a hard day.

S: Yes. A lot to take stock of. The spasms are a tough one to be with. I can feel the storm of energy that swirl in them. They remind me of solar flares. Interesting that they are in your solar plexus area.

M: I was catching that today. So much of a feeling of powerlessness, lack of control.

S: That feels significant to me. The wounded masculine heartspine is so very focused on control. The arising of the Yin will challenge that control in a very invitational way, but the old Yang can only see it as an opposite control. It is a sad state of lost in translation. One that is aching, no pun intended, to be healed and balanced within you and the collective. Let`s keep it personal today though. I feel that is where you need it the most.

M: Yeah, for sure. After all that has happened to me physically the last 6 months in regards to romance, it is all a clear indicator a part of me has some major resistance to going in. With the others in the past it felt as if I was trying too hard to feel something that just wasn’t there. But even that feels like a resistance too. With Kalayna, it has this potential for amazing heights yet here I am in a state where I can only feel pain and not love flow. It is a convenient way for a part of me to go back into a bubble. Then of course comes some guilt as well which really only serves to widen the space and block the love.

S: This type of romance is so unknown to your soul it feels like Gabriel. That you have many metasoul lives of tragic romance and if this has played out several times between both of your souls then it does make sense why a part of you, your protector, would feel major reservations. It has been easier for many of your aspects just to go solo and never let in the kind of love that can take you to realms forgotten.

M: When I feel my protector, he says that is very true. “Why go in when it only winds up in a tragic ending?” I feel where my heart wants to respond to this, provide the healing space for it, so that it can release and I can offer more of what I know I feel for her and to be able to let in more. In the moment I am feeling this goes the same for my protector’s relationship to the Divine. It has a been an up and down experience for him and I am feeling a more devoted time spent holding him in that.

S: I feel you are speaking to the collective spiritual wounding here as well, Gabriel. It is important for others to feel their own protection against love is also a protection against the Divine. There is no greater press on our hearts than a romance that is centered on vulnerability and sacred sexuality. Takes you to the doorstep of your own fear and shadowland.

M: I am beginning to feel how this physical manifestation is in response to that. I feel a compassion in my heart around that now, whereas before I was feeling judgement and the fear of the pain itself. This is a portal in new territory that my heart has long “forgotten” or attended to with deep reverence and curiosity. The gift in all of this is arising new for me in the moment and that helps a part of me to rest into it more. Thank you, spine.

S: My pleasure, Gabriel. This is all happening in my backyard, amigo, so I too want to feel it resolve and integrate for you. To inherit all the GOODies you are being invited to let in and embody emotionally, spiritually, and physically. It has been a long time coming for your weathered and worn protector. All protectors for that matter.

M: It is a brave new world for us all, isn’t it? To take all this fear and show up to it with our compassionate and self-loving heart. To be willing to let go of all the things that parts of us have held on so tightly to in order to maintain some smaller version of ourselves that was sacred in its own right. It has actually taken more energy to continue the protection than it does to surrender to the vulnerability of the fear of love itself. I am feeling a new admiration for it all and expanded sense of the nature of my current condition…that it is all energy in a compressed and guarded state.

S: That feels like a big felt awareness toward the road to recovery and integration. The personal process that includes your 3D and 4D selves that also connects to the larger context of the birthing of the sacred human BEing. No simple road to take, yet not one that goes in circles either. It is a hero’s journey you and everyone are on to get to the heart of the heart and the soul of the soul. The challenges are different for all and this just happens to be one that you dialled up to get you there. Feel the sacredness of it all and the healing shall follow.

M: I will take those words with me through my day as I connect and feel the parts within me that need my love. I so appreciate our daily connection, spine. I am wanting to call you another name but I feel it is still important to connect you to what is current with me.

S: That is okay, Gabriel. That will be in time. Though in the moment I like LIghtnin’ Rod Steward.

M: I am almost afraid to ask….but I am going to step in it. What?

S: I am like a lightning rod, man. Moving energy from the heavens the earth below. I am a great alchemizer, brother! A spring-loaded love apparatus stewarding megawatts of joy and creativity, partner.

M: Oh….wow. I don’t think I have any words right now.

S: That is what I am sayin’.

M: Um….yeah. Let’s chat later….Rod. Oh, good grief.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Your Essence And Inner Love Sanctuary

Published on October 27, 2017 by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

waterfall-1031724_640

There is a sanctuary inside of you. There is an essence there that cannot be lost. There is a treasure of heart, that has been protected for so long, by a part of you that feels this is the only way to ‘get through’ life. This can express as transcendence, as much as it can express as bitterness and withdraw. The sanctuary that holds the glowing orb of precious love-essence is a peaceful and aerated place, yet no-place… unless the inner protection has built a fortress around it, keeping it within confines of hard walls and impermeable energy structures too, giving it a ‘place’ instead of letting it flow and move throughout your being.

Structures of constructed ideas of ‘this is what love is’ have taken over like thorny vines. Love has become something different than what it is as it lives and breathes inside of you and inside of your life. Protection has taken over in different ways and forms… your Inner Protector has forgotten that real love needs no walls to hold it or keep it from harm. It is meant to flow, to illuminate, to permeate, to aerate. It is here to not be held down, but to move up and take us with it.

Your inner sanctuary is accessed through the portal of your heart, beyond yet with the mind as it needs and wants to be present, until that time when it can rest. It is there and you are getting closer to it, finding ways to dwell within it and be in life and the world too. It is a place of being and stillness. It is there, always, and the more you feel your parts that are afraid of it, afraid of its power, or afraid harm will come to it, the more access you will have to it in every moment. ❤

This Sunday Oct. 29, there will be a live stream hosted by Raphael and Jelelle Awen on Facebook and Youtube! Hope to have you join us… https://www.facebook.com/events/207249746478167

If you are curious to learn more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and process, you can visit: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess for more information and to feel into having a free 30min intro call.

***

Wounded Masculine And Arising Feminine Energies Coming UP For Healing And Revealing

Published on October 26, 2017October 26, 2017 by Jelelle Awen2 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

There seem to be many themes running in the moment for us to see and BE with as we continue our ascension journey into embodiment of our sacred humanity…not NEW themes, yet more like another cycle around the bend into a deeper level and strata of healing and feeling. One theme is that the wounded masculine frequencies that have formed the foundational energy to fuel our 3D culture are being exposed and disclosed…to be seen, felt, come into the light. They have seemed so powerful, yet, are now running on fumes as the old paradigm structures start to collapse to begin transition into the new. The wounded masculine runs on compensational behaviors to cover over core feelings of unworthiness and core disconnect/separation. It operates on lack of vulnerability and lack of transparency using diversion and distraction strategies. You can feel and see this in the exposure happening now of false kings in the entertainment industry, government, banking, etc. how they are now being dethroned as their wound-based actions toward the feminine are revealed.

It can be tempting to lash out at this wounded masculine as it is exposed….to feel bitter and resentful, to turn on it. Yet, this outward outrage actually stems from inside and only feeds the fires that can hurt and burn. Going within to feel deep compassion for the wounded masculine WITHIN us is a key aspect to moving through this disclosure process with love. To feel how parts of us have felt like both perpetuator AND victim this life and in other lifetimes too. Not going to battle AGAINST these energies, yet seeing and feeling how, underneath it all, they are just seeking and want love. Being open to the recognition that these energies live inside of us and seem to express as our Inner Protector aspects, plus Inner Punisher and Inner Mother/Matriarch or Inner Father/Patriarch can help huge with this holding and response.

After many years of working with different parts of myself and with others, these are the energy tones that I feel most represent the wounded masculine as conditioned and formed into our 3D self. Working with these masculine energies is what allows the feminine to arise in an authentic way, freed finally from the warrior and overly masculine tones that are NOT hers to hold and energize. As the Inner Protector lets go of its stance of protection through inner negotiation, the feminine (in both men and women) can come into BEing as the seed of her expression receives the water of self love and love with Divine Feminine guides/aspects such as Magdalena, Mother Mary, Kuan Yin. Directly connecting with these aspects through journaling, guided meditation, and ‘dropping into ‘their energy during sessions is what we offer through our SoulFullHeart process. And, then we feel and explore this on the 4D level as the wounded masculine expresses in our Metasoul line/other lifetimes and archetypal frequencies too. More information here about our process for navigating this: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess

There is a deep connection in this collective wounded masculine disclosure process with the dissolving of the 3D matrix created out a fear-based (yet previously necessary for growth) collaboration between us on the soul level and some Reptilians/Archons/Anunnaki. Their wounded masculine-based timeline of dominance and suppression ‘over’ us is collapsing as more of them choose love over fear. The implants and hookups that we previously needed in our soul fields/chakras are loosening or dissolving as this choice point happens. I have written many times about the choice points they are being offered as a species on soulfullheartblog.com….relocation to a beautiful, tropical environment planet as they choose redemption and rehabilitation. It seems to be important to support this process by letting go of fear-based and polarized energies against them…this becomes yet another battle ground otherwise (that actually, again, stems from within). Connecting with your inner Reptilian aspect (which can form another layer of Inner Protector) allows for the flow of compassion and to act as ambassador to their choice points toward love with your support.

If you are in a relationship, you may be feeling the stirrings and churnings of this wounded masculine/arising feminine within your relationship. This can lead to more conflicts, disillusionment, and even desires for completion of even long-term relationships. The gaps in your transactability are revealed as what has been able to be covered over can not be anymore. If you have been awakening and your partner has not, resentment from parts of you may be growing around this and, also, authentic desire for more soul resonance, vulnerability, and to service love together (which is ultimately the reason for being in relationship at the higher soul level.) These frequencies of wounded masculine as they live inside of us and are being moved in the collective also play out in our relationships, impacting how we experience our partners, what parts of us are related with each other, and what we project onto them. Becoming conscious of your own parts allows you to navigate the relationship in a very different way with a new level of consciousness and emotional maturity in responding to your partner.

As the wounded masculine continues to transmute and transform into a higher vibrational frequency of sacred masculinity, the possibilities for balance and union between the masculine and feminine become revealed to us. We discover and BEcome this from within and we can then offer this to a world that desperately needs it as it transitions from polarized and fear-based expressions of gender into NEW expressions of a conscious duality dance based in LOVE.

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond.

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Role Of Your Inner Protector

Published on September 18, 2017September 19, 2017 by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

caspar-david-friedrich-the-wanderer-above-the-sea-of-fog

Artwork: The Wanderer Above the Sea of Fog by Caspar David Friedrich

A voice inside that tells you to be careful, and may even encourage you to have your guard so ‘up’ that relaxation feels impossible. A feeling of complete or nearly complete distrust of anyone, maybe even without much explanation or logical reasoning. A heightened sense of needing to protect yourself, that in some ways you may be so used to feeling that it becomes unconscious when it comes up and it comes up so automatically most of the time. A sense that there is a lot ‘out there’ to be wary of in terms of 3D dangers in your everyday life, but also in terms of ‘psychic attacks’ and ‘influences’.

This is the experience of having a sharp and astute Inner Protector, always at the ready, always standing at the helm, always on the lookout. There isn’t much room for feminine softness in this picture if you are a woman, or vulnerable sharing of your inner world if you are a man. There is a sense of finding ways to be in control of the situation you’re in, no matter what, even though underneath that you may feel the rumblings of actually feeling quite the opposite most of the time. In women, this energy tends to express as quite masculine, sometimes calling itself a ‘goddess’ or ‘warrior woman’. In men, this energy tends to express as overly ‘masculine’ in a way that is direct without heart, and penetrative without feeling. In both camps, there is so little vulnerability accessible, that it can feel impossible to feel anything but defensive in interactions with others. Maybe when you are at home alone can you finally let this guard down and just be… yet for those of you who have families or a husband or wife, maybe this guard never really drops or relaxes to make room for a real ground of intimacy and love transaction with others.

Your Inner Protector has so needed to be there. In all of those interactions you had as a child, it began picking up on strategies other Inner Protectors were using, ways to control you and other parts of you, while also perhaps controlling others, however, whenever possible. Feeling offended or the need to defend against something that has been said or someone who you’re interacting with is so often a knee-jerk, automated sort of reaction from this part of you. This part has needed to be this way in a world that encourages either intense defenses and fear for one reason or other, or the complete dropping of all protection in order to access sexual or etheric experiences that you are told you are ‘supposed to’ get to. You may gravitate towards peak experiences like taking Ayahuasca or Peyote or other less natural drugs, or workshops and retreats that get you out of the normal day-to-day grind in order to elevate above the protection and find something different. The protection can be a veil on different levels of your being, wanting to keep you from feeling, from accessing YOU and your parts in a deeper way, which would lead to a more profound awakening experience.

As you heal, the need for a strong Inner Protector lessens and dissipates. Impenetrable walls and defensive reactivity turn into healthy, porous boundaries held with love and self-worth. The Protector changes form, helping you to transform as well, allowing for greater, sweeter intimacy with self and others that may challenge you in good ways at times. Ultimately it’s a process of letting more love in, for that is really what the Inner Protector is afraid of… love flowing into you and permanently changing all that it has worked to maintain up ’til now.

If you would like to perhaps try and meet your Inner Protector, you can listen to this SoulFullHeart group call and also try the meditation: https://youtu.be/yP0OmxcSScc

If you feel you’d like to venture further into this energy, we offer ongoing sessions and a profound process around getting to know and healing your protector and other parts of you: www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

From my heart to yours, sending lots of love to your Inner Protector and all they’ve held and continue to hold… ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Allowing Emotions To Come UP Through Connecting With Your Inner Protector

Published on June 16, 2017September 14, 2017 by Jelelle Awen1 Comment

By Jelelle Awen

Image is by Ana Cruz

dcd06ed6b1730716d4ca462d88fc340c — Image Is By Ana Cruz

FEEL. Just feel. Let the textures of your heart come up to BE. Allow what needs your attention to claim your space and hold it with self love. In this feeling, allowing, holding space for yourself, you create NEW possibilities of healing and transformation.

The parts of you that need you…the little girl INside or the little boy INside, the HUGE warrior, the guard on duty, the controller/manager, the punisher/critic, the teenager…..ALL these aspects and their emotional reality are pinging and ponging from within you. It doesn’t really work to ignore this, although you can try and part of you may try VERY hard to suppress all this emotional activity from coming UP and out.

All these parts came and formed when feeling was not OK, when there was no space made inside for them and with them by those meant to care and guide, your caregivers and parents as they didn’t have this either. There was no space for feeling what you were feeling WHILE you were feeling it and so the energy gets stuck. It is stuck in stories, scenes, and moments that your mind brings you back to often, trying to help your heart heal yet unable to do it. Your mind brings you ‘back’, yet these moments live in the now of the emotional body, continuing to play out and influence you. These moments need your heart presence in order to be ‘moved on’.

In sessions lately, I have been hearing more from people who do not remember very much about their childhoods. Or they can’t remember after certain traumatic and painful events happen or before these events. This is not actually a matter of memory of the mind, but rather, the Inner Protector which has ‘shut down’ access to the memories because they would be too painful for you. The Protector becomes worried and concerned that you couldn’t ‘handle’ to remember and emotionally digest it.

In the SoulFullHeart process, we support the authentic You to arise that CAN handle and wants to feel, to remember in order to heal, and to BE with the stuck places and parts that need you. You begin to remember it ALL (including other lifetimes with increasing clarity) AS you negotiate with the Inner Protector and Soul Guardian aspect. Negotiation with this part allows for the pipeline of memory to open and trust grows that You can handle what comes as a result. Your Protector may still ‘see’ you as a child and as you connect consciously with them, they start to lean into you and rest, feel you as more of an emotionally mature adult. As the Protector rests, this opens up your heart, body, soul, mind in often HUGE and new ways. You can read more about that here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts.

Here are teachings about the Inner Protector and a guided meditation to connect with this aspect of you during a recent group call: https://youtu.be/yP0OmxcSScc

FEEL. Just feel. It’ll be OK. It’ll be Beautiful even when it is necessarily painful. So much support is coming from these bounding and bountiful energy waves right now to hold a space for the feeling of feelings. So much support WITH love to go where love wants to go and couldn’t go in the moment, yet can in the NOW…..moving, transforming, and offering so much more possibility of love as you feel and, so, heal. ❤ ❤

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Exploring Men’s Inner Protector

Published on May 16, 2017May 16, 2017 by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

There is a lot of beautiful writing happening around the feminine protector among women. A sometimes fierce energy that has found its duty in protecting the supple beauty and divine creative power of the inner feminine. It has arisen out of the need to keep this jewel safe in the invulnerable and aggressive world of the unhealed masculine energy that the feminine has found itself residing in. But this was until such time when it was no longer needed and the more authentic and powerful BEing could emerge from its sheltered perch to relieve this sentry from his post and become more of an advisor and loyal inner guide, as well as a mate template.

This picture feels so alive and clear to me. But what of our male protection? What has kept us in the more invulnerable state of truly letting our hearts be felt and expressed in a way that takes us into our hidden and not so pretty places? Our fear and small places? I feel how our inner feminine has been protected as well, along with our inner child in order to “survive” in a very outbound 3D reality. Get to the heart of any man and you will find a pain of loneliness, disempowerment, and uncertainty of what the hell masculinity even is! There is a rage of not being shown the “way” by a father who hadn’t the faintest clue himself in many ways.

For most men, the protection arose as either `fight or flight´. A more aggressive warrior technician scientist that could fear or control his way into a false sense of power and safety. This protection is meant to satiate the fear that lies in the inner boy or to even quell it as ‘boys don’t cry’. This is a check against any outside force that would use this vulnerability against him as a ‘weakness’. The fear of truly feeling what lies in our hearts is a difficult one for many men to bear. This happens at varying degrees for each one of us.

The flight response, which tended to be mine most of my life is the protection of hiding. In this form, the protector could be male, and it could also be female as in a very protective mother. For those of us that were ‘mama’s boys’ with doting mothers, this would feel familiar. Here our fight response has been muted and even castrated to some point. An inner punisher voice can intensify the hiding if the father energy had similar tones as well. Here the inner sensitive boy/feminine is much more aware and the protector will do anything possible to keep the boy from being put in situations where it would be vulnerable to attack.

For men, this protector is also found in the soul domain as a soul guardian and can serve this role very aptly. Using spiritual gifts as a way to transcend or hide from very real emotional human pain and trauma that lies dormant in the emotional body. This relationship holds many keys to our arising sacred humanity and access to even deeper embodiment of our soul purpose and gifts.

You can feel your protector when you feel pressed to produce, express, or manage in a very controlled or outbound way. Or when you feel tight, distrustful, or anxious. If you feel like you want to avoid something or just can’t find the will to even get out of bed. Or maybe you just want to leave this dimension all together and find yourself back ‘home’. The way we relate to the females in our life can show our protector if we find ourselves care-taking or pushing them away. There are so many ways he, or she, can show up.

The main question to ask yourself is if you are fully BEing and living a life full of Joy and Possibility in any given moment. To the 3D mind and suffering heart, constant Joy is an unknown yet this IS what is real in our essence as Infinite Love. If we aren’t feeling a connection to this love frequency frequently, then there is a protection in between it and us. I am continuing to unfold this for myself everyday.

The protector of our male hearts is as valuable and tender as its feminine counterpart. With a relationship to it, we can find ourselves softer and less aggressive, as well as more bold, provocative, and assertive with an open heart. I feel so much more in my own power and masculinity than I did just 4 short years ago with this negotiation and relationship to that which has kept me hidden instead of outed. Suffering instead of in Joy.

Raphael Awen and I want to call out to all men who are looking to further and deepen their individual power and self-love as well as draw or deepen a romance you may already be in. You can find the details to the next Men’s Group call here: https://www.facebook.com/events/1529253583760067/

For a recording of a group call and meditation that Raphael and I did to meet your inner protector you can check that out here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhman

We also offer personal healing sessions via Zoom to help you feel through whatever is blocking you from living and BEing the most authentic version of Love you can BE and ARE. We also are inviting others to join us in community of heart and soul brotherhood if that were to appeal to your soul’s journey. We are calling the knights back to the Round Table of Love and Goodness! You can read more about that here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhman

My protector’s heart to yours,

Gabriel Heartman

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this: